Last week they showed the replay of Strangle-mania instead of this newer episode. So since I covered Strangle-mania live, I didn’t lie about starting to cover the show.

Speaking of Strangle-mania, it was a fun train wreck. The match quality was awful, but I was entertained even though it started late and went til like 7am in Eastern time. The best thing to come out of Strangle-mania was J-Rod winning the Women’s championship.

Let’s see where they go with the show.

Why is "Big Al" Alice Crowley hanging out outside the arena? Mac Davis tries to find out.

Join the Premiere: https://t.co/CnVLotXwbA@AliceCrowley19 @MadMacDavis #JCW #JCWLunacy pic.twitter.com/Yvs2388RZD

— Juggalo Championship Wrestling (@jcwlunacy) April 30, 2026

Ratings:

• Green Phantom vs Facade: Facade wins via Ninziguiri – N/A
• Guitar on a Pole Match: JCW World Championship: CoKane (c) vs Steven Flowe: CoKane retains via CokeSlam on the guitar – ** 1/2
• Luigi Primo vs Father Bronson: Bronson wins via Cloverleaf – ***
• Sicilian Street Fight: PCO vs Big Vito: PCO wins via Lariat – **
• Caleb Konley Guest Ref: EC3 vs Kerry Morton: EC3…wins? – ***

Results:

Violent J and Vince Russo are arguing about J not telling Vince about signing EC3. J’s defense is hilarious because he says “You guys do a podcast together, I thought he was your boy”. Vince agrees with that EC3 is his boy, but he’s a wrestler, and they’re selfish. So Vince warns J that EC3 will show his true colors soon. 

Jeeves and EC3 come out after the backstage segment. Jeeves and EC3 cut into Caleb Konley, call him Vince’s little bitch and calls Vince “shit stain”. Which is a Jim Cornette nickname for Vince. Vince’s music hits, him and Caleb come out, and Vince starts verbally running down EC3 and taking the hits personally. EC3 explains that wrestling is a giant cyclical work, so EC3 is trying to make some long drawn out joke about the Independent Contractor aspect of pro wrestling, Caleb cuts him off and takes some shots, including a dig on Control Your Narrative. EC3 tries to ask who Caleb is, he says he’s, “the guy who’s gonna knock him the fuck out”. They brawl for a few minutes and then some refs show up for the pull apart. Vince even gets a cheap shot in on Jeeves before the Carters bail.

Vince Russo has just booked EC3 vs. Kerry Morton for tonight….with "The Chosen One" Caleb Konley as Special Guest Referee.

Join the Premiere: https://t.co/CnVLotWYm2@CalebKonley @THEVinceRusso #JCW #JCWLunacy pic.twitter.com/99Jyqv0MYs

— Juggalo Championship Wrestling (@jcwlunacy) April 30, 2026

Green Phantom vs Facade

Phantom starts with a promo about saving JCW and the World from crooks and cheaters.

Phantom poses, Facade hits him with a Disaster Kick he calls Ninziguiri and it’s an instant win for Facade!

That’s actually funny since Phantom is trying to act like the Batman of the locker room and gets insta-killed. Amusing way to slow roll whatever this dude is about.

Guitar on a Pole Match: JCW World Championship: CoKane (c) vs Steven Flowe

So this is a normal match, but whoever gets the guitar, can legally use it. 

Flowe attacks CoKane immediately. Stomps a mudhole into CoKane, tries to continue but CoKane throws him to the ropes, Flowe hits the Headscissors but CoKane rolls through it. He hits those Knife Edge Uppercuts to rattle Flowe, Flowe reverses the Irish Whip, CoKane Flair Flips to the top rope and then Flowe Dropkicks CoKane out of the ring. Flowe tries for the Guitar, but CoKane cuts him off, but CoKane hits the Pele Kick to stun CoKane. Flowe keeps trying for the for the guitar, kicks CoKane back, but Kane grabs him. Sattelite counter, rope bounce, but CoKane hits the Coke Cutter to drop Flowe.

They brawl in the corner, Avalanche Spicolli Driver from Flowe. He turns around and grabs the guitar. Flowe swings, misses, gets grabbed for the CokeSlam, but turns it into a Triangle Armbar. He counters the Armbar by powering through and hitting the CokeSlam onto the guitar. CoKane wins!

After the match a very vocal CoKane fan, known as Hokane, hops the guardrail, and CoKane gifts her with some of his special mixture. Maybe CoKane’s getting a girlfriend.

We see The Outbreak in the back, Barnabas is trying to keep them clean but they have vials of Oxy and Barnabas goes crazy.

Luigi Primo vs Father Bronson

Bronson is about to show us what Red Love is all about. I like to call him the Creole Bray Wyatt, so let’s see what he does in his JCW debut.

He hands out roses to a few of the crowd members, not just specifically giving them to Juggalettes either, so that’s interesting. Red Love is for everyone. Oh he even tells the referee to hand Luigi a rose, asks Luigi to get out of the ring and they hand him a microphone. He puts the crowd over and then runs them down as repulsive. Bronson tells Luigi to take the rose and leave the ring. Luigi doesn’t leave, so Bronson kicks, Shoulder Tackles, tosses Luigi off and into a Scoop Slam.

Luigi fights back with a few pizza slaps, but Luigi counters a Hip Toss, but eats repeated knees from Bronson. While down Luigi spins the pizza, throws it to Bronson to distract him and hits a few kicks. Wants the monkey flip but gets caught, Bronson tries a Powerbomb but the Pizza covers his face into a Pizza Cutter. Luigi still tries the Monkey Flip, ad Bronson just tosses Luigi to the floor, ground and pounds him with the forearm digging across the face.

After a Scoop Slam, Luigi tries a few chops but Muy Thai Knees keeps Luigi reeling. Hip Attack from Bronson and another near fall. Bronson gets distracted with the referee, Luigi with his Pizza Combo, the dough is finally tossed away, Gamengiri into a Bulldog, Pizza Punch, but Bronson ducks it, and eats a few strikes from Luigi before getting dropped and locked into a Texas Cloverleaf, Luigi taps out.

Honestly, a solid match and decent debut to show off different aspects of his personality and offense. 

Alice continued to wait for Dani Mo outside the venue and we see her ask Dani for answers, Dani says “you wouldn’t understand”, so Alice beats her ass and leaves her laying.

Sicilian Street Fight: PCO vs Big Vito

Slugfest start, PCO turns it around for Chops, PCO turns it around to clubbing blows and they’re just going from corner to corner throwing Haymakers. The Outbreak starts harassing the announce desk looking for more drugs, and it was only during more striking, so we’re not missing a ton in the ring. PCO and Vito collide into each other, PCO hits multiple chops into the Spinning Backhand Chop. Vito hits PCO in the Yambag, Lariats him down and chucks him into the corner. 2 Tuff Tony and Willi Mack walk out and start to beat the hell out of Vito. Street Fight mean NoDQ.

The Brothers of Funstruction in their Mafia gimmicks come out to get their pound of flesh as well. One Way sign and a Wet Floor sign in hand, Vito is getting dog walked. Yabo goes crazy with the wet floor sign, the others even stop him until Vito gets up and they let Yabo knock him the hell out with the wet floor sign. PCO lands the big Lariat, and PCO wins!

While it was overbooked, the fact the story was Vito hates everyone and pissed everyone off. Giving people an opening to beat his ass in a NoDQ match makes full sense. 

Blast from the Past Highlights: Weedman & Billy Bong vs The Bashums 

Vito gets a segment in the back after the fallout of the match, talks about how his Nephew will be there next week. He got held up at customs and then it’s on sight.

Caleb Konley Guest Ref: EC3 vs Kerry Morton

Caleb attacks EC3 before Kerry Morton even gets introduced. Extra referees come out to break up the fight. Kerry runs out, no music, he just attacks EC3. All three have issues with each other, so who knows who Caleb is really going to screw.

Kerry chokes EC3, gloats a bit but EC3 hits the Chop. Kerry pushes EC3 back in the corner, climbs the rope and clocks EC3 after a jerk off motion into the crowd. All of Kerry’s ego is giving EC3 time to recover and fire back. A few Chops from EC3 before Kerry turns it around with some strikes and a Back Rake. He grabs a Front Facelock, but EC3 powers up, Arm Wringer, Do-Si-Do into an STO. Kerry responds with a Rope Assisted Snap Suplex, a Fist Drop and a near fall. Kerry starts focusing on the legs, but Kerry is getting very distracted with everything. EC3 with the reverse Irish Whip, Kerry does the Flair Flip, runs the apron, flies and eats a punch to the gut. EC3 Lariats and Squashes Kerry in the corner. EC3 pushes Kerry out of the corner, looks to charge again but Kerry hits a Dropkick.

Caleb and Kerry jaw back and forth before Kerry kicks EC3. Kerry takes forever to go to the top, a big show, just to jump off the rope and taunt the crowd lock in a Headlock. Crowd is chanting for EC3, EC3 starts blocking the strikes from Kerry, strikes, Back Elbow, Thesz Press, and Kerry is reeling. Fireman’s Carry next but Caleb pulls Kerry down out of the move. Kerry crushes EC3 into Caleb, hits a DDT, but Caleb is still selling the ref bump. Kerry is slapping Caleb around to get him up, EC3 hits a TKO, for only a two count because Caleb refuses the three. EC3 with a Fireman’s Carry Facebuster, Kerry hits Caleb with the Kiss it Goodbye. EC3 and Kerry look for an alliance, but Kerry tries to trick EC3. EC3 hits the One Percenter, Jeeves acts like the referee, counts the 3 and…is it over? There’s no bell…so…EC3 joins commentary.

Caleb and Kerry are shoving each other, but then Green Phantom’s music hits as Kerry and Caleb shake hands. Kerry powders and begs off, but Caleb is still here. Phantom wants to shake hands with Caleb…but then kicks him, it’s Matt Cross! Cross hits the Open Road Cutter and it sounds like Kerry and Cross are working together.

Overall Score: 6.5/10

This was insane, but entertaining. EC3 playing a lot of inside baseball with the opening promo on Russo, claiming he’s gonna save JCW from Russo booking. Green Phantom looking like fool in his debut just to prove it was a ruse for Matt Cross to return to JCW to attack Caleb. Father Bronson had a really solid first bout. Got across his heel persona, easily hateable swagger and pretty solid move set. Very MMA flavored, and ending things with a Cloverleaf instead of a “finisher” helps to continue his mystique.

Vito having most of the Babyface Locker room come out and beat his ass during a Street Fight made a lot of sense. CoKane possibly getting a valet or tag partner since Ring Rat is now with Steven Flowe, could be solid foreshadowing. Big Al hunting for Dani Mo is a good little story for potentially number 1 contender against J-Rod.

There was a lot to like here if you enjoyed the old Wrestle Society X or ECW Hardcore TV programs. While the wrestling had it moments, it’s definitely not a show for “purists”. I was entertained though!

You’re not reading this wrong! Lunacy popped up on my YouTube a few weeks ago, and what can I say, this reminds me of public access ECW Hardcore TV. It’s a bit campy, edgy and is unapologetically Juggalo.

Cokane, J-Rod, Big Al, Facade, and Kerry Morton have definitely intrigued me. On top of the established names like RVD, Nic Nemeth, Mr. Anderson and even Vince Russo has been refreshing.

Plus for somewhat legit reasons, Vampiro is having his retirement match tonight against PCO and Big Vito. So while I don’t know what to expect…I’m anticipating fun with a side of Faygo.

Ratings:

• St Claire Monster Corporation (Kongo Kong, Mr Happy, Beastman) vs Rock N’ Roll Express & Juggalo George South: AARP Trio win via Smashing Fat Dudes Together – (-**) – Yes that’s Negative 2
• Kamikaze Chaos Match: Mickie Knuckles vs Kerry Morton: Kerry wins via…Weapons – * 1/2
• The Outbreak (Abel & Jackson) w/Barnabas the Bizarre vs Brothers of Funstruction (Yabo & Ruffo): Outbreak win via As Above, So Below – ** 1/2
• JCW American Title: Facade (c) vs Mecha Wolf vs Ninja Mack vs Disco Ray w/The Ring Rat vs Boogie Boarding Mikey Avalon: Facade retains via Triple Jump Moonsault – ** 1/2
• JCW Women’s Title Tag Match: Katie Forbes Guest Referee: Big Al (c) & Dani Mo vs J-Rod & Nyla Rose: J-Rod wins via Double Chokeslam – ** 1/4 – TITLE CHANGE!!!
• Good Brothers & KENTA vs RVD w/Bill Alfonso, Willie Mack & 2 Tuff Tony: RVD wins via 5 Star Frog Splash – (-*)
• JCW Lunacy World Championship: EC3 Special Guest Referee: Cokane (c) vs Nic Nemeth vs Caleb Konley vs Matt Riddle: Cokane retains via Cokeslam – ** 3/4
• Vampiro’s Retirement Match: Vampiro vs PCO vs Big Vito: Vampiro wins via Nail in the Coffin – ***

Results:

Violent J opens the show, as he is want to do since he’s come back into part ownership. The Duke of the Wicked keeps it short and sweet since everyone’s been waiting. Smart move.

We move to a backstage segment with Jasmine St. Claire bitching at Vince Russo. There’s a stipulation of, if her Monster Corporation doesn’t win, they disband. She sort of alludes to the match, but it’s not an awful segment.

St Claire Monster Corporation (Kongo Kong, Mr Happy, Beastman) vs Rock N’ Roll Express & Juggalo George South

The monsters attack the ancient trio combine for probably 180 years old. Mr. Happy gets pushed away, George South and Ricky try to control Kongo Kong, but…oh no the Arm Wringers are working. I wasn’t sure at first, but Kongo is in the geriatric corner and isolated with frequent tags…not so quickly. Mr Happy gets tagged in, accidentally Lariats Kongo cause he’s silly.

Beastman just brings himself in and things are breaking down in Lucha level lack of rules. The big boys Monster Mash in the middle because Big vs Old mean everyone is slow. This match is in such slow motion it might be in reverse and Happy gets thrown into his own team because he’s a comedy goof who things its a game. This is…was complete crap.

I guess the pile of shit match got out of the way early. In the famous words of Roan from Grandia II…”Yikes”.

Kamikaze Chaos Match: Mickie Knuckles vs Kerry Morton

Special guest referee Claude aka Brian Zane. Kerry comes out with two white girls dressed like Geisha because he’s a Japanese Legend now.

After an Incel flavored misogynistic promo, he jumps Mickie before the bell, but she turns it around. Gives him the old Kitchen Sink and dumps him outside. Mickie tries to Dive, but Kerry has a perfectly timed Trash Can to her dome. He’s now grabbing chairs, doors, more trash can pieces. He’s building the kitchen just for Mickie. Since he takes forever, when he gets in Mickie grabs his balls and then hits him with a Brainbuster as he sells amusingly. After a few trash can lid shots, Kerry goes to grab Mickie…but you know, it doesn’t work the same for women. She snaps his fingers with her Kegel Grip. He grabs more weapons, cuts Mickie open, but Mickie continues to aim for Kerry’s dick including she just bites his…well…you know. Kerry is about to get Ass Attacked over and over, then uses a Trash Can to keep his face receiving her can.

Kerry goes to grab something but Mickie shoves her thumb up Kerry’s ass. Then she has Claude smell it and help him build the next prop spot. Kerry hits her with a few things, puts her on the gimmick pile, but thinks better than jumping onto it. Claude however rebuilds it and Kerry tries to rub his crotch in her face…which is dumb. So she Headbutts his crotch, he falls through the gimmick pile. Claude gets to a two count and then sneezes.

Kerry hits Claude with a V Trigger accidentally. Saito Suplex, German and then a Northern Lights Suplex from Mickie, but Claude is dead, so no referee for the count. Kerry manages to turn things around, Suplexes Mickie through a door, beats her across the skull with the pieces but she fires, Donkey Kick to the back of her head, and he pins her with his crotch in her face. Claude is miraculously alive, and counts the three.

Not a good match, but kinda fun in how despicably shit it was. 

The Outbreak (Abel & Jackson) w/Barnabas the Bizarre vs Brothers of Funstruction (Yabo & Ruffo) vs BackSeat Boyz (Tommy & JP Grayson)

Oh look, Ruffo found Yabo. Glad he’s not sleeping with the fishes yet.

The clowns bounce a balloon off the zombies…and the zombies fire and attack, so they start brawling. Jackson and Yabo start throwing hands, before Ruffo and Abel get involved again. The tornado aspect continues, there’s no control and Violent J walks out. Tells them to expect the unexpected.

BackSeat Boyz come down, T Gimmick the zombies, the clowns face off with them and BackSeats do a little dance, before the clowns make them pay with stereo Manhattan Drops and then a coconut crunch. Zombies are back up, slides under legs, stereo Slingblades, Corner Attacks of Splashes and Uppercuts, the Clowns flop out after the punishment. BackSeat is back in, but the zombies were winning until an Eye Rake, but then Tommy eats an Assited Flatliner. Outbreak wants As Above…but BackSeat stop it, hit the Street Sweeper! They want to T Gimmick Jackson, but Ruffo and Yabo Balloon the Boyz. Hulk Hand Uppercut rocks JP, Rubber Chicken Assisted Big Boot lays out Tommy.

Rubber Chicken Tickle doesn’t work on zombies so they dispose of Ruffo, hit Yabo with As Above, So Below and out favorite cocaine alcoholic zombies win the match!

The Outbreak had some cocaine on them and do celebratory cocaine! Barnabas is beside himself. 

JCW American Title: Facade (c) vs Mecha Wolf vs Ninja Mack vs Disco Ray w/The Ring Rat vs Boogie Boarding Mikey Avalon

Well if you score based on looks, you’d think only Mecha, Mack or Facade should win this match. 

Disco Ray starts his dance, trying to get the vibes rolling, everyone is playing along until he gets to Facade who just flips him off and shoves him. So everyone dogpiles Facade because he’s a dick, then we get a test of strength, but Ray is just vibing and dancing. Mecha clears the other three, but Ray’s hips don’t lie and he Splits under a lariat, hits one of his own, wiggles out cinque and drops Mack, Mikey Avalon eats a Flip, Flop and Fly with tambourines. Ray is having fun, but Facade returns to the match and ends Ray’s fun.

Ray tries to Irish Whip Facade, he does a Neck Bridge in the corner for about a minute. Ray gets Up and Overed, Avalon eats a kick after a Matrix, Mecha eats a Disaster Kick from Facade and then goes for an Escalara, but Ninja Mack cuts off Facade. Mack is taking too long to so his Cartwheel Corkscrew Splash and Avalon just gets involved. Avalon Sabu’s a Boogie Board at Facade and then a Scoop Slam with the board.

Avalon uses a Surfboard Stretch, with a Surfboard. Mecha Wolf clocks Avalon and spikes Ninja Mack. Frog Splash from Mecha, but Disco makes the save. Ray connects on a Neckbreaker, but Ninja Mack flies out of nowhere with an Uppercut, Facade with a Rope Walk Dropkick but Mecha hits a Busaiku Knee and everyone is down. Side Slam from Avalon, but Mecha Powders. Cannonballs for all from Avalon. Mecha Muta Mist to Avalon, Ninja Mack Superkick, Mack hits a Sasuke Special on Mecha! Ray tries some rope run, but Facade counters it into a cradle, Ray hits Panic at the Disco but Facade kicks out.

Ring Rat doesn’t want to give Ray the chair, she turns on Ray with a Low Blow. Facade has the chair, Facade Sabu’s the chair, sets it up, Triple Jump Moonsault for the Sabu reference, Facade retains. Not executed well, but neither were most of Sabu’s moves and then we see the Ring Rat walk up the ramp to Steven Flowe.

The Green Phantom comes out…oy vey. Oh and it’s literally just him walking around the crowd and then he leaves. 

JCW Women’s Title Tag Match: Katie Forbes Guest Referee: Big Al (c) & Dani Mo vs J-Rod & Nyla Rose

Oh, this is where Nyla is now. I haven’t heard her name in so long I thought she died.

J-Rod and Al start, a few strikes exchanged, Saito Suplex from Big Al and then an Air Raid Crash, for a near fall. Al tags in Dani, a delayed splash and another near fall. Dani keeps J-Rod in the corner with some kicks, a Snapmare to send her out, and then a few more kicks and lariats. Big Al asks for a tag, Dani says no, but when Dani gets close enough Al tags herself in and it gives J-Rod time tag out to Nyla.

Nyla lands one corner Splash, Al moves from the second, but Nyla just grabs Al and tosses her across the ring. Dani tags herself in, flies at Nyla and gets caught and slammed down. Nyla walks Dani to the heel corner, tags out to J-Rod and corner Shoulder Thrusts, quick tags are leaving Dani isolated and eating punishment. The heels are working together better than the tumultuous babyfaces. GAHD Damn J-Rod is gorgeous. Sorry it’s 5:30 in the morning and I haven’t slept. I’m distracted and my filter is slipping.

Quick tags continue, Nyla is now in but Dani manages to fight back. Crescent Kick from Dani, Code Red and…only a two count! Dani wants the Moonmist Twist, Nyla stops it, drops Dani and tags out to the Gorgeous Gladiator. Dani eats Snake Eyes and then a Big Boot but only two again. Corner Hip Attacks, J-Rod walks Dani out of the corner with her draped over her shoulders, Samoan Drop. Big Al breaks up the pinfall, Katie admonishes Big Al so Nyla walks in Double Chokeslam while the referee isn’t looking. J-Rod pins Dani…1-2-3! Alice expected Dani to kick out and the fact she didn’t, Al is frustrated.

I’m a big fan of J-Rod, Alice and Dani, but some of the spots were awkward and that finish fell flatter than a pancake. 

Good Brothers & KENTA vs RVD w/Bill Alfonso, Willie Mack & 2 Tuff Tony

RVD walking down about to ask KENTA to pick a hand. Between Tony and RVD…god damn these entrances are taking forever. 

Karl and Tony are gonna start, but he holds up a finger to grab his bottle of…Kettle One…or whatever that is. He polishes the bottle off and then ties up finally! Tony shoots off the ropes, eats a Shoulder Tackle so Karl tags in Gallows because of a the size discrepancy. Tony takes another swig from his bottle, and I get the liquid courage gimmick, but Tony is old, slow and wrestles like shit. Can we just get him out to someone who can go?

Thank Christ, Tony tags in Willie and now we might see some wrestling. Willie wants to test power, they run into each other a few times and no one gives. Gallows tries to Lariat Willie, Willie ducks and hits Gallows with the Gamengiri. Gallows tags out, KENTA points at RVD, and we get Rob Van Dam versus KENTA.

KENTA acts like they’re about to tie up, ducks it and goes to his corner chuckling. Rob lands a punch, KENTA is bleeding, RVD wants Rolling Thunder but Karl drags him out. Now is a shitty brawl but KENTA looks a bit out of it. The vibe seems like Rob connected with KENTA and hard wayed him. Willie hits a Stunner, KENTA with the Busaiku, RVD with a kick, RVD hits the Van Daminator on Gallows. Tony hits the Meteorite on Gallows, RVD goes up, 5 Star Frog Splash, RVD wins!

This was a pile of shit. RVD breaks KENTA’s nose on the second real move of this slog, they do something stupid for a few minutes before someone just said go to the finish. 

4 Way Elimination: JCW Lunacy World Championship: EC3 Special Guest Referee: Cokane (c) vs Nic Nemeth vs Caleb Konley vs Matt Riddle

Can this match be decent? Please? Like give me one. Nemeth comes out in Juggalo paint.

Caleb mouths off a little, everyone gangs up and chucks him out. Riddle starts throwing Knees, Cokane rolls through the turnbuckle, Rebound Big Boot, but a big Lariat miss and Riddle hits a few Gutwrench Suplexes, Senton, and works over Cokane. Caleb runs in, dispatches Riddle, tries to keep Cokane on the back foot but a Blue Thunder Bomb stops Caleb. Cokane pulls out straws and wants to use them like the MASADA Skewer spot, but Caleb fights him off. A little more jockying for position, Cokane tries his rope walk, but Caleb trips him up, Cokane crashes and Caleb kicks Cokane to the outside. Nemeth comes in hot, Splash, Rude Awakening, FameASSer for two!

Cokane wants a Cokeslam, Super Kick says no, Riddle hits a Cutter, wants a Tombstone, but no. Caleb hits a Low Blow on Nemeth, Burning Hammer, and Caleb eliminated Nic Nemeth first. Riddle hits an Exploder, Senton, PK, but Cokane comes in, Drop Step, Wrist Control, Rip Cord Knee, Fisherman Buster and Riddle is rolling. Floating Bro on both men and Riddle looks like the favorite at this point. Tombstone locomotion, Riddle hits a Gotch variation of the Brostone. Another Low Blow on Riddle from Caleb, another Burning Hammer, and Riddle is gone.

Caleb runs Cokane into the corners, Chop exchanges between the remaining two guys turns into punches. Backfist from Caleb, and then a Superkick, Caleb wants the Shotei, but hits EC3 accidentally. Cokeslam gets countered. Cokane gets thrown into the ropes, he’s wiley like a crackhead, eventually we get a Lethal Injection. Cokane goes for his cocaine, but Steven Flowe shows up again to play DARE officer and say no to drugs. LOW BLOW from Caleb! Burning Hammer number three! EC3 stops his count at two. EC…can’t count to three.

Ethan is putting his foot down with all the Low Blows. Cokane sits up, finds more cocaine, COKESLAM! 1-2-3! Tony Khan must’ve given Cokane the back up stash. Good call.

While Cokane retaining isn’t a bad idea…EC3 makes a cocaine angel in the middle of the ring afterwards, is funny. These matches have all been either garbage or depressing. 

Vampiro’s Retirement Match: Vampiro vs PCO vs Big Vito

Vamp walks out with J and Shaggy, gives Dark Carnival WCW flashbacks. Vampiro cuts a promo at the beginning of the match about the first time he met ICP in WCW. Let’s assume it’s a real retirement, he deserves a moment to wax poetic before the match. He then goes around the horn with a comment about PCO and Vito as well. But again, it’s okay, its a retirement angle. Vamp’s little comedic way he cuts a promo while still being poignant and cool, helps land the show. Now lets hope the match isn’t garbage.

PCO and Vamp are throwing chops while Vito doesn’t mind not being hit. Vito tries to hit the ropes and Double Lariat, but they level Vito and keep slugging. PCO rocks Vamp, Splashes him in the corner and then Kicks Vito in the stomach and throw him out. Vamp bounces PCO’s face off the post, Vito goes after Vamp, they fight into the crowd and Vito rocks Vamp, Vamp hits a random dude in the crowd, and the guy seems like a good sport. PCO returns to the brawl going after both guys, but Vito turns things around on PCO and fights Vamp back to the ring.

Vamp is flipping people off, absorbing the hits just to talk shit to the crowd and his opponents. It’s obvious that Vampiro is enjoying himself. Vito calls Violent J into the ring since the Dark Carnival stuck around for support. Vito kicks J, starts throwing down Forearms and then Shane Mercer slides in, the Mercer-Nary. Shane wraps his fist in a chain, Vito holds J, J ducks, Shane levels Vito. J and Shaggy gang up on Shane to take him out, now PCO starts beating on Vito. Fist to the head, Leg Drop, and Vampiro is content watching for a little bit. Vamp breaks the next pinfall attempt, goes for his own but Vito kicks out and Vito goes for a Crossface. PCO’s foot comes down to break up the submission, then his stomps on Vampiro, Vito tries to sneak a cover but not yet.

French Canadian Frankenstein with a few Forearm Shots and a short Lariat to send Vito to the ground. PCO lays strikes into PCO, but Vito shoves PCO out of the way to kick Vampiro himself. Two more instances of Vito shoving PCO away, and PCO is allowing it, but after the third shove, PCO catches Vito in a Chokeslam. Spinning Back Kick by Vamp on PCO, Nail in the Coffin! The Driver looked bad, the finish was odd, but Vamp is nearly 60 and battling Alzheimer’s. I’m not mad. Vampiro wins his retirement match!

Overall Score: 4.5/10

Well Spring Break started late and went long, so Strangle-Mania started like 66 minutes late. So I sit here, past 7am Eastern…and it’s not for Wrestle Kingdom…weird times man. But yeah, wrestling content, this was garbage. Anything that had a chance to be cool was either marred with short cuts or cut short because of an errant punch. Now I will say, a card with the Rock N’ Roll Express, George South, KENTA, RVD, Nic Nemeth, Nyla Rose and professional Zombie wrestlers…was not on my BINGO card this year. So there’s aspects of this show that were fun, the commentary booth was unhinged, J-Rod winning the title is the correct decision. She’s gorgeous, great physique, solid wrestler and going to be on the new American Gladiators, so it’s free publicity baby. The Kerry Morton match was also completely inane, but wonderfully so. There is a soft spot in my heart for Self Aware Comedic Hardcore.

Vampiro’s retirement was nice, sentimental, and a feel good moment since Vito ate the pin.

Like I said, there was no real wrestling to be extrapolated from this show, but there was some entertainment. I’m not gonna rate the show highly because the matches were almost all bad or barely passable. But being a little delirious from being up for like 32 hours with no sleep…I didn’t fall asleep. So at least the show wasn’t boring.

Maybe I’ll start covering Lunacy on Fridays (I cover TNA that’s also on Thursday, so JCW will have to take the tape delay backseat). But yeah, Cokane retaining, Steven Flowe going full heel and stealing the Ring Rat with Caleb Konley getting screwed by EC3. There’s some interesting possibilities for the weekly show.