The Exposed Turnbuckle: 1000 Deaths

by: Mike Neon

Melissa Santos’ voice trembled with the final announcement “here is your winner, Mil Muertes.”  As an ornate coffin containing the brutalized body of Fenix was hauled away in a ceremonial manner by a brigade of people in costumes and face paint resembling a “Dia de los Muertos” celebration.  It was beautiful and surreal.

Meanwhile the ring was in shambles, covered with blood and Mil’s valet Catrina was making strange advances towards a coffin.  This match, billed as a “Three way to the Grave” by current proprietor of “The Ice Temple” Antonio Cueto, was an absolute symphony of carnage between Fenix, Mil Muertes, and Jeremiah Crane (whom you may recognize as “The Draw” Sami Callahan from Impact).  All 3 linked together by association or former association with the dark and mysterious Catrina who has an obsession with licking enemies in a disturbingly erotic fashion that one could only associate with the Sicilian kiss of death.

The match itself featured breathtaking brutality, that was awe inspiring and had the bloodthirsty “believers” on their feet in the temple.  From the high flying luchador Fenix launching himself onto both Muertes and Crane, the combatants throwing each other down the concrete steps, and then using a trio of ornately decorated caskets to destroy their opponents bodies and even the ring itself.  At one point the bloodthirsty “believers” exploded with glee as Ivelisse, Jeremiah Crane’s former lover ran into the ring and beat him bloody with a hammer until it broke, before sealing him into a casket and eliminating him from the match.

After several minutes of intense brutality, a bleeding and battered Fenix (who shared a romantic vignette with ring announcer Melissa Santos before the match, where she expressed concern for his well being) was stuffed into a coffin by Mil Muertes, leaving his fate to the gods, or possibly Catrina, whom asked for this match in the first place as it would somehow get her closer to regaining her powers and free her from being stuck in between the realm of the living and the spirit world, by taking Fenix’s soul.

1000 Deaths – Mike Neon

As amazing as this all sounds, this is pretty much an average day in The Ice Temple, the setting of season 4 of Lucha Underground on the El Rey Network.  A place where the magic of the pro-wrestling world is still strong.  A place for those of us who yearn for the days of The Undertaker and the supernatural elements that he brought into the world of professional wrestling throughout his career.

The Ice Temple has the appearance of an asylum for the strange and unusual in the wrestling world run now, by Antonio Cueto, after his son Dario, the former proprietor was killed during the end of season 3.  The senior Cueto, appears to be a pragmatic businessman who exalts bloodshed and carnage.  As a result of this, his booking in ruthless and some might say “cruel”.  I prefer the term opportunistic (as I often do).  He appears to delight in giving the bloodthirsty “believers” who attend the tapings in his temple exactly the kind of violence that they delight in.

Antonio Cueto – @papacueto

At the end of this episode we get a deeper glimpse into the inner workings of Cueto’s mind and motivation as he tells his son “the monster Matanza” (coming off a championship loss to Lucha Underground champion Pentagon Dark) that he had “failed him” as a father, by asking the gods favor to retain a sliver of his humanity, but that same humanity made him weak.

“The one thing I will not tolerate is weakness” said Antonio, which is a sentiment I can absolutely co-sign on.  The father then encouraged the son to destroy the key which housed his soul and the remainder of his humanity, to become a god, which he did obediently.  Only 3 episodes into this season of Lucha Underground, and I have no idea at this point what to expect but I am delighted as these sinister stories unfold on the El Rey Network.

I will for one moment bring up a serious matter, and I rarely do this, but in this case it is a matter of importance to fans of Lucha Underground on the El Rey Network.  Due to contractual disputes between Dish (the parent company of Sling) and Univision, The El Rey Network, is currently unavailable on the Sling service, which is very unfortunate for those of us in the wrestling community who are often on the go, or have limited funds to invest in the larger cable packages it takes to access El Rey.  The El Rey Network, Lucha Underground and even Cueto himself have made appeals to wrestling fans to spread the word, and make some noise for a resolution to this dispute so that more fans will have access to this unique and wonderful show.

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