NWA-TNA #5: Less Action, More Talk

This week, TNA deals with the aftermath of last week’s X Division match, the falling out of Jerry Lynn and AJ Styles, and Jeff Jarrett’s insistence that he was promised a shot at Ken Shamrock’s World Heavyweight title. We’ve also got the ongoing mystery of who is attacking NWA officials that cross Jeff Jarrett. Is it Jarrett or is something else going on? Let’s find out

Opening

We start with a recap of last week’s ending and Jarrett’s insistence on being #1 Contender, as well as his assault on anyone who gets in his way.

We start with a segment taped earlier in the day of Goldilocks trying to get an interview with Ken Shamrock. In a display of the head writer’s serious issues with women, Shamrock screams at Goldilocks, who is just trying to do her job, and calls her a bitch before belittling and threatening her and telling her to back off.

(Seriously, Vince Russo needs a psychiatrist if he thinks that this is edgy and not misogynistic)

We start the usual pyro and Mike Tenay gives us the expected card for tonight: We’re going to have a #1 Contender’s match, which is going to be a ladder match between Malice and Jarrett.

Before we can find out the rest of the card, we’re sent to the back, where Scott Hall is assaulting Jeff Jarrett. We find out that Hall is going to face Brian Lawler later in the evening, but he wants to take care of some business with Jarrett first. Jarrett manages to turn the tides on Hall, but Hall seems determined to stop Jarrett from getting his match. They’re finally separated by NWA officials, though Jarrett is then told he forfeited his match, despite being attacked by Hall.

Don West’s jacket is red with black pinstripes. It’s not as godawful as last week’s but it’s not great.

Ladder Match to Determine the #1 Contender For the World Heavyweight Championship: Malice (with James Mitchell and the Disciples of the New Church) vs Sabu.

Malice and company come out to little reaction. No one is quite sure what’s going to happen since the NWA arbitrarily took Jarrett out of the match.

James Mitchell gets on the mic and he looks very smug. He says that he regrets announcing that due to unforeseen circumstances, Jeff Jarrett will not be able to bleed tonight. He says that Malice is willing to wash his hands in another victim’s blood and extends an open challenge.

Before much more of this charming tirade and the lights go out and when the lights go back up, it’s Sabu! The homicidal, suicidal, genocidal maniac of the original ECW. The crowd goes nuts! Apparently, Sabu was supposed to make his debut later in the evening, but crap happens.

Given the participants involved and the nature of the match itself, this is NOT a showcase of fine wrestling skills.

Unlike most ladder matches, the contract for a title shot seems like a distant second to just letting Sabu and Malice beat the hell out of each other. We were a good five minutes into the match before the ladder was even touched by anyone and another two or three before anyone made an attempt to get the contract. Malice is a good, if not very refined, wrestler and showed off a lot of impressive skills, but Sabu is just…not good. He’s good at finding ways of bleeding and breaking bones, but he’s not a great wrestler and it tells compared to Malice.

Compared to WWE, spots off the ladder have been few and far between. Again, the title shot is being treated as a VERY distant second to just letting two guys beat each other up.

Ah, we finally get the ‘Push the ladder so that the person on it lands on  the conveniently placed table outside’ spot, which gives Sabu time to climb the ladder and get the contract.

Winner: Sabu. James Michell and his crew are not happy about this and attack Sabu from behind, but Sabu’s dealt with crazier people than this bunch and fights back, but the numbers game is a little too much.

Comment: To me, it’s never a good sign when a title shot isn’t as important as letting two guys, who aren’t the best wrestlers, fight. They could’ve had this match without the title shot on the line and made the title shot match between Hall and Jarrett.

Backstage, the NWA officials are STILL fighting with Jarrett, who refuses to leave without the title shot he was robbed of. It’s hard to understand what’s being said, but no one’s happy. I’m on Jarrett’s side a little, here, the NWA had no right to just arbitrarily strip him of his title shot over a backstage fight. If they didn’t want him in the match, they shouldn’t have scheduled it.

Back at ring side, the ref is helping Sabu to his feet after his beatdown when AJ Styles comes out. AJ doesn’t look like he’s in a good mood. Apparently, he wants to talk to Jerry Lynn about what happened last week, but Lynn seems to be in a fighting mood tonight, and tells him to shut up, but apparently, Lynn will tell us why he decided to beat up his tag team partner.

Basically, Lynn’s mad that he’s getting showed up by Styles, who is younger, and a little more talented than him and he thinks that Styles is a glory hound, even though Lynn was the one who tapped Styles to be his tag team partner. He also seems to be bitter over Styles beating him for the X Division title.

Styles doesn’t look like he can believe that someone he seemed to have a lot of respect for is acting like this, but the story seems to be making Lynn a bitter veteran who is getting passed by the younger generation and doesn’t like it.

Styles seems to take Lynn’s criticism to heart and agrees to basically play junior partner to Lynn, despite being a double champion. Lynn seems placated and turns his back, only for Styles to pay Lynn back for last week with a kick upside the head and a beatdown of his own, ending in a Styles Clash. Safe to say, this issue isn’t over. All of the commentators seem to be on Styles’ side, pointing out that Styles earned both belts.

Backstage, Goldilocks is trying to get an interview with Jasmine St. Claire and we get a recap of the impromptu lapdance that made Jeremy Borash the most envied man in the building.

Goldilocks tries to interview Jasmine, only to be yanked away by Francine, who then proceeds to attack Jasmine. What follows is a really lame fight that lasts about ten seconds and Francine was left standing.

We’re told that the title match between Shamrock and Sabu will be next week on TNA. That should be…interesting.  Back to the ring for our next match!

K-Krush vs Norman Smiley

K-Krush is out first to a decent pop. Apparently, his match against Hervey Sadler was a big hit with the fans and wrestling press and helped get TNA some attention.

Krush cuts a promo on the audience and fans at home and says he looks like a star and sounds like a star on the mic. The audience seems to be getting behind him…a little. Krush then asks that with all the tools he has, why isn’t he the biggest star in wrestling? He then gripes about having to work with Hervey Sadler. He then asks why WWF/WWE let him go and I think I know where this is going.

Yup, he’s going there. H hasn’t said it yet, but he’s basically saying that he’s not a bigger star because WWE and TNA don’t want to promote a black man. Surprisingly, a lot of the crowd seems to be behind him, despite his heelish efforts. Krush vows to take what’s his and spit in the face of anyone who gets in the way and that the truth will no longer be denied.

(So that’s where the name came from)

So, with that out of the way, it’s time for Krush’s opponent, Norman Smiley, to come out and he gets a bigger pop.

I really want to like Smiley, he seems talented and I’ve heard good things about him, but he’s not wowing me. This is a very acrobatic match, but Krush is more interested in winning than anything else, which is good.

This match doesn’t take very long and ends with K-Krush hitting what looks like a sloppy sit out Brainbuster on Smiley for the three count.

Winner K-Krush by pinfall. Afterwards, K-Krush attacks Smiley and beats him with his belt and actually does a rough hanging of Smiley over the top rope with the belt. Norman Smiley’s wife comes to the rescue and gets accosted by Krush instead before security comes in.

Comment: I’m not really sure what the point of this match or the aftermath was.

Backstage, Goldilocks is trying to get an interview with Puppet the Midget Killer (I swear, it’s what she said!). Only Puppet is playing Oscar the Grouch (seriously, he’s in a trash can).  Puppet wants some privacy and Goldilocks is perplexed by what he’s doing in the trashcan. Puppet seems to think Goldilocks thinks he’s spanking the monkey and makes some crude sexual innuendos that someone hiding in an easily overturned trashcan probably shouldn’t be making. Goldilocks is not impressed with this. Puppet says that what he’s really doing his putting his game face on and says he’s suffering from PMS: Pissed Midget Syndrome.

(:eyeroll: Trust me, dude, you wouldn’t survive REAL PMS, never mind an actual period)

To her credit, Goldilocks tries to keep this interview going and asks about Puppet’s opponent tonight, Meatball, the World’s Largest Midget. Puppet is insulted by Meatball and says he’s going to wrap his six inch pythons around Meatball’s neck and choke him out. He then hits on Goldilocks, who is NOT interested and calls his ‘python’ a garden snake.

(Get him, girl!)

Not surprisingly, given how she’s been treated, Goldilocks is over this backstage interviewer gig and says that she’s leaving when her singing career takes off. To give her further reasons to get the hell out of Dodge, she finds the Dupps making out on the floor, or at least Hat and Fluff. Blond Dupp doesn’t seem to be paying attention to anything but the lighter he was playing with. Goldilocks is about done with this when Blond Dupp starts to compliment her and then gets fascinated with his lighter again, then he compliments her lips but he’s not talking about the ones on her face.

(EW! Get out of there, girl!)

ANYWAY, it seems to be time for our next match.

Don West says that Jerry Lynn and AJ Styles will either have a one on one match against each other or a tag match, it wasn’t clear.

The Flying Elvises vs Elix Skipper and Christopher Daniels

Elivii are out first and to a minimal reaction and their moves still suck. We get a recap of the Flying Elvises run in at the end of last week’s show.

Their opponents are two guys who got beat up by the Elvii last week.

This match is pretty fast and furious. Both teams have a legit bone to pick over last week, but Elvii are in control right now.

Siaki is so confident in success that he actually leaves Estrada to handle things in the ring, so he can run his mouth on commentary.

This isn’t as good a match as last week’s but it’s still very good. Siaki keeps going back to the commentary table.

Daniels gets tagged in and cleans house. I have to say that there’s a lot of whiffing.

This is one of those matches where you can’t look away or you’ll miss something. The ref misses a pin attempt because he was distracted by Daniels and one of the Elvises and it gives the Elvises the edge to get a win.

Winner: The Flying Elvises by pinfall.

Comment: I’m not wowed by this match. It just…didn’t work for me. There was a lot of whiffing showing light (showing that a move is staged).  Suddenly, the Dupps come out and break 2x4s over the heads of the Flying Elvises. The Dupps are quite pleased with themselves and there’s kisses for every cousin.

One of the TNA girls has a visitor: T.O., one of the little people wrestlers, and he’s having a blast.

Backstage, the long-suffering Goldilocks is doing an interview with K-Krush and asks about the incident with Norman Smiley. K-Krush threatens Goldilocks, but is attacked by Scott Hall, who is still out for blood. I find it odd that Hall is allowed in the building and Jarrett was thrown out. Hall makes the comment of ‘2 down, 1 to go’, meaning that Brian Lawler is next on the hit list.

Back at the ring, it’s time for some midget wrestling action.

Meatball vs Puppet

So, we get our first look at Meatball, and he’s a big little dude. Apparently, Meatball is a bottomless pit, Tenay complains that he’s starving because Meatball had eaten everything in catering within ten minutes and is still hungry.

Puppet is out next and he gets an okay pop.

This match is weird. It’s not a squash, but it’s not great. Meatball wastes perfectly good food kicking Puppet’s ass, even has his own mini shopping cart. Puppet turns the dinner table and drops a full thing of flour and a watermelon on Meatball’s head.

I’m ready for this mess to end. Thankfully, Puppet gets the pin and can continue his anti-midget rampage.

Winner: Puppet by pinfall.

Comment: That happened and I’m glad it’s over.

T.O is still with the TNA girl and he’s loving it. The dancer doesn’t seem to mind until T.O. gets too handsy and nearly pulls off her top.

After all that, Jasmine St. Claire is back, soaking wet and not happy about what happened with Francine. Borash and the ref make idiots of themselves trying to open the ropes for her. Apparently, we’re either having a match or the ref is from the Puppet/Meatball fiasco and just stayed at ringside for the next match.

Jasmine gets on the mic and calls out Francine. Okay, so this is a match.

Jasmine St. Claire vs Francine

Francine doesn’t get Borash and the ref fighting over helping her into the ring.

If you’re expecting a match with skills like the ladies of today, you’re in the wrong place. This is a catfight that could just as easily be happening on Jerry Springer. Jasmine seems intent on ripping Francine’s hair out  or her top off.  She gets the top off, at least. Francine gets her back by ripping off Jasmine’s shorts, thankfully there’s a thong underneath.

Francine takes off her belt and starts spanking Jasmine, for lack of a better word. Blue Meanie, who is almost unrecognizable from his ECW and WWE years, gets in the ring and dares Francine to hit him, which she does. Meanie retaliates with a DDT on Francine, which incenses the commentary team, who didn’t seem all that bothered by Goldilocks’ treatment, but it may have been because none of the wrestlers actually touched Goldilocks.

Ed Ferrara is so angry that he goes to Francine’s aid, despite Francine beating his ass over the last few weeks. Francine is taken away on a stretcher.

Backstage, Goldilocks tries to get an interview with Low Ki, but Low Ki isn’t interested and walks away.

We get a tale of the tape for Low Ki and Styles.

X Division Title Match: AJ Styles vs Low Ki

Low Ki gets a good pop. I’m still not sure what will happen to the other contenders if Low Ki wins. Styles gets a good pop.

Ed Ferrara, who had been tending to Francine, is back and gives us an update on her condition. He sounds really upset, but I’m more interested in the match than in his Francine obsession.

This match starts off really good, lot of solid mat work before the fists start flying. This is easily the most alive match of the night.

This match is really amazing. Low Ki and Styles work really well together and the contrast in their styles works here. I have to keep reminding myself that Styles is in his fourth year as a pro and so isn’t as smooth in the ring as the AJ Styles I’m used to watching in WWE.

One of the things with the X Division as it is in 2002, when it was basically the Cruiserweight Division, is that you can’t take your eyes away for very long or you’ll missing a lot.

I think I’ve said before that Low Ki scares me and I’m not sure why. He’s extremely talented, but there are times when it seems like he’s not as careful as he should be when doing spots.

Whoa! Styles countered a corkscrew move by Low Ki in to a Styles Clash and that’s three!

Winner: AJ Styles by pinfall.

Comment: That was a really good match. Both guys looked great and put on a heck of a show.

I really thought this was the main event, there’s been no word about another match.

As AJ’s leaving, he gets speared by Jerry Lynn, who apparently didn’t like getting a taste of his own medicine earlier in the evening. Lynn hits his piledriver again before going to the ringside area and pulling out a ladder, indicating what kind of match these two are probably going to have next week. Lynn basically throws Styles on and into the ladder several times, probably trying to soften him up for their match next week. Finally, Lynn leaves and Styles is barely moving.

Okay, apparently there’s still some more show left.

Now it’s time for our actual main event.

Brian Lawler vs Scott Hall

Lawler is out first to a not positive reaction. Lawler gets on the mic, the crowd is rubbing the fact that he’s Jerry Lawler’s kid in his face. The more he gripes about it, the louder they get. He decides to drop some facts about his dad. 1. His dad’s been married three times, which is only a big deal if you lived in the 1950s. 2. Each wife was younger than Brian. Including Brian’s own mother, I guess. Even the commentators are lost on this one. 3. Brian left a ticket for his dad to come watch him wrestle, but Lawler’s not here and Brian accuses his dad of being a pedophile. We don’t get to hear the next line of BS because Hall’s music hits, to Lawler’s anger, but he’s so busy trying slander his father and mocking Hall’s legit substance abuse problems to realize who’s behind him. Turn around, dude. Or maybe don’t.

Hall’s getting tired of being sneaky but he’s being patient. FINALLY, Lawler turns around and this match is on.

Hall is pissed, and lays into Lawler. This quickly goes outside the ring, with Hall smashing Lawler into any surface that could do some damage.

Lawler seems to be over this and tries to head for the back, but Hall is after him and beats him up on the ramp.

Lawler keeps trying to escape and finally manages to get the upper hand in this match, ramming Hall’s head into the ringpost.

The crowd keeps reminding Lawler of being Jerry’s kid and it’s pissing Lawler off and he’s taking it out on Hall.

This match is actually pretty good, much better than I was expecting, but it just feels flat after the X Division match and the aftermath.

Lawler take some time to run his mouth on the mic some more, which gives Hall some time to get his bearings back, but Lawler gets the upper hand back quickly. Lawler goes for the Hip Hop Drop, but Hall stops him and is back in control.

I keep getting the feeling that Jarrett’s lurking somewhere, given how the night started. K-Krush comes out to get him some of Hall, but Hall sends him outside. Hall hits the Razor’s Edge and that’s the ballgame.

Winner: Scott Hall by pinfall.

K-Krush comes back again and nearly gets a Razor’s Edge but a low blow from Lawler breaks that up. Lawler and Krush give Hall a wedgie before beating him up and throwing him outside where Krush hangs Hall from the middle rope with his belt again. Officials come out to break things up and send Lawler and Krush to the back.

A stretcher is brought in and Hall gets on it, but I still think Jarrett’s lurking. Sure enough a guy, who looks like a doctor from a distance turns out to be Jarrett, wielding a steel chair and swings it at everyone in sight, but specifically, Hall. The show ends with Jarrett standing tall over everyone.

Comment: I’m honestly surprised Hall got a cleanish victory over Lawler. I figured Jarrett would interfere somehow. Still, this match felt flat after the X-Division match. I think the title match should’ve gone last.

Overall Comments:

So, how was Week 5 of NWA-TNA? This show was a little flat to me. There was about as much talking as there were matches and most of the matches weren’t anything to write home about.

The ongoing issue of Jarrett vs the NWA is becoming baffling on a level that even Austin vs McMahon didn’t reach. The fact that Jarrett was just stripped of a match within minutes of it being announced for really no good reason, is just silly. It still begs the question of whether Jarrett’s a top heel or a really unlikeable babyface. Both sides got an argument here.

I really hope that Brian Lawler talked to his dad before doing this heel run and that King’s okay with the things being said about him, because it’s just hard to listen to a child bash their parents, even in a scripted setting, when you know that that parent worked very hard to give their child a good life.

My ongoing issue with the way women, specifically Goldilocks, are treated on camera is still going. I’m not sure what kind of person finds this ‘edgy’, but it’s not good. My hat is off to Francine for taking that DDT from Blue Meanie, she sold it like a champ.

My second big issue this week is the NWA Title. I will admit that Shamrock’s title reign hasn’t been a barn burner, but the fact that Shamrock wasn’t even on tonight and that the #1 Contender spot was a distant second to two guys beating each other up bothered me. I still think Malice vs Sabu should’ve been a separate match from the #1 Contender match.  I’m not expecting much from Shamrock vs Sabu next week, but maybe I’ll be surprised.

The third big issue is the rushing of the Jerry Lynn/AJ Styles storyline. I get that it would be very easy for a veteran like Jerry Lynn to feel out of place and out of step with the younger guys, and to resent it, but it feels like the feud between him and Styles is being rushed without much of a build. I wish we could’ve had more of a slow burn with this feud.

Stinker: K-Krush vs Norman Smiley. I still have no idea what that was all about.

Snoozer: Flying Elvises vs Daniels/Skipper. It was a boring X Division match. Something I never thought I’d say.

Match of the Night: Styles vs Low Ki. This was a really good match overall. I still find myself getting a little frustrated with Styles, but I keep reminding myself that in 2002, he was still pretty early into his career and wouldn’t be as smooth in his moves as he is in 2018.

Final Thoughts: This felt like a filler episode. It filled time but didn’t’ move much of the story forward.