Top 5: Wrestling Haircuts

Have you noticed a trend? Lots of wrestlers are shedding their hair. Sometimes it’s voluntary, like with the Constable Baron Corbin deciding he wanted to look more business-oriented. Sometimes it’s not, like with Sami Callihan at Impact Wrestling’s Slammiversary, Faby Apache at AAA’s TripleMania & the team of Matt Taven & Volador Jr. at CMLL’s Anniversario.

Losing one’s hair can be depressing. It can also be financially rewarding though. We’ve got a little of both going on here with the Top 5 Wrestling Haircuts.

5. Molly Holly gets her WrestleMania payday

Back in the days before the Women’s Evolution, it was nearly impossible for women to get on the WrestleMania card unless T & A was involved. As a serious wrestling program light on the types of things Vince McMahon & Kevin Dunn like out of the women, Victoria vs Molly Holly wasn’t a guarantee for WrestleMania XX. It took Molly saying that she would agree to have her head shaved as part of a pre-match stipulation for her & Victoria to get on the card. Talk about going all out.

4. Andre is relieved of his dignity

It wasn’t too often that anybody got the better of Andre the Giant. To get some heat on Big John Studd heading into WrestleMania, Bobby Heenan orchestrated an attack by Studd & Ken Patera on Andre which culminated in Studd cutting the long locks Andre had sported for most of his wrestling career. Vince McMahon screaming about how Andre was being raped of his dignity wouldn’t fly in 2018, but it added more seriousness to the moment.

3. Kurt Angle loses his hair forever

To be honest, Kurt Angle’s haircut at the hands of Edge wasn’t all that dramatic. The guy barely had any hair to begin with. I give him credit though, as he’s the only person I can think of in the history of wrestling that kept a bald head for the rest of his career after losing a hair match. Granted, it was mostly due to his receded hairline, but I still give the man credit.

Well, he did try to work a toupee gimmick for a little bit, but it ended in embarrassing fashion.

2. Raven gets scalped

This has to be the grossest headshaving I’ve ever seen. As James Mitchell explained it in a shoot interview with Ring of Honor, there were two sets of clippers at ringside during Raven’s match with Shane Douglas. One was the safe kind you typically see, and the other was the crazy unsafe kind that was still at ringside when Mitchell got ready to do the deed. That was one serious looking razor, but I’m not sure Mitchell pressing down on the dude’s head helped the situation.

Honorable Mention: Hulk Hogan loses his mustache

You got Kevin Sullivan in drag. The only reason this didn’t make the list proper is they stopped at the mustache. If they had shaved the skullet too, you know this would have been number one. Bobby Heenan & Mongo McMichael’s commentary on this was incredible too.

Honorable Mention: A TRANQUILIZER GUN!

The set-up on this thing. Kurt Angle went to the trouble to hide a tranquilizer gun under the announce table, which neither Michael Cole nor Tazz noticed the entire time they were sitting out there. Mark Jindrak has to run to the back to get a couple different styles of clippers, which makes me wonder why Kurt didn’t hide them under the announce table too. The fact that Angle’s henchmen were Jindrak & Luther Reigns. There’s a lot to take in here. It was hurt by the ridiculousness and the fact that Big Show had short hair for years before randomly coming back with it grown out. You had to figure that wasn’t going to last, especially with that big bald spot in the back.

Honorable Mention: Vince loses the Battle Of The Billionaires

I’m not allowed to talk politics here, so I’ll refrain from further comment.

1. Brutus Beefcake finds his gimmick

It was WrestleMania III in the Pontiac Silverdome. “Rowdy” Roddy Piper was retiring for the first time & his hair was on the line in his retirement match with “Adorable” Adrian Adonis. Brutus Beefcake had had a falling out with his former tag team partner Greg “The Hammer” Valentine & was trying to establish himself as a babyface. What better way than to display your hair cutting skills on the grandest stage of them all? Piper retired for the first time on top, Beefcake got a gimmick that kept him in a good spot on the WWF babyface roster for years, and Adonis…well, he didn’t get much out of this. It worked for the Barber though!