For the first time ever, WWE Starrcade will be on the Network! AJ Styles revives his rivalry with Samoa Joe in a Steel Cage Match!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

• Eight Woman Tag: Sasha Banks, Bayley, Ember Moon & Dana Brooke VS Nia Jax, Tamina, Alicia Fox & Mickie James; Banks, Bayley, Moon & Brooke win.
• WWE United States Championship: Shinsuke Nakamura VS Rey Mysterio; Mysterio wins by disqualification, Nakamura retains the WWE United States Championship.
• The Miz & Shinsuke Nakamura VS Rey Mysterio & Rusev w/ Lana; Mysterio & Rusev win.
• Steel Cage Match: AJ Styles VS Samoa Joe; Styles wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Ladies and Gentlemen, Elias.

The Drifter is in Cincy, and on Starrcade! Fans are mixed as Elias introduces himself and begins to play. Fans do get into the music, though, and start clapping along. “And I’ve got question for everybody here tonight. Who wants to Walk With Elias?!” Cincy does! And surely everyone wonders, can it get any better? No, it can’t, sorry. But that’s why this is just the start. Right now, welcome a special guest who was at the very first Starrcade and is here now… The Nature Boy, Ric Flair! The two-time WWE Hall of Famer heads to the ring! Ric has his own mic as he joins Elias to a great ovation from the fans.

Ric doesn’t know about the fans, but Ric has been dying to Walk With Elias! WOO~! 35 years ago, Ric was honored to be in front of a crowd at a Starrcade, and he’s honored again to be in front of a crowd at this Starrcade. Elias figures the only thing left is to sing together. This is Ric’s request from Elias’ album, so please silence phones and hold applause- Wait, Nia Jax comes out? As does Tamina, Mickie James & Alicia Fox. These four are scheduled for a 4v4 fight during the show but they’re entering early. Elias likes this interruption, especially when Nia says she and her friends want to walk with him. Well alright. Foxy, calm down over there. Women love to walk with Elias, and Ric loves women in general. And now that they’re all here, let’s all perform together. Foxy, seriously, tune in.

Elias begins playing, and everyone claps along. Alicia has unique dance moves but Mickie digs it. Nia sings along but she’s a bit out of tune… Fans don’t like that. Nia says she refused a record deal to be a superstar, okay? She’s amazing. Elias says that Nia should’ve done what she was supposed to do a minute ago: shut your mouth! Elias and Ric would do that for them but that’s not how this works. So for now, Elias will bring out some friends of his to do it for them.

Eight Woman Tag: Sasha Banks, Bayley, Ember Moon & Dana Brooke VS Nia Jax, Tamina, Alicia Fox & Mickie James!

Yes, The Legit Boss, Huggable One, War Goddess and solo statistician are friends with Elias, and are anything but friends to the four women on Nia’s team. Will they help Elias make Nia and company #DriftAway? Or will the #FaceBreaker treat them like she did Becky Lynch?

The teams sort out and Ember starts against Mickie James. Fans rally behind Ember but Mickie is only annoyed by it. They tie up and Mickie gets the arm. Ember reverses and wrenches, but Mickie cartwheels through. Mickie throws Ember down by her hair but Ember kips up and arm-drags Mickie away. Ember brings Mickie up but Mickie kicks and kicks. Mickie runs but Ember follows to springboard and crossbody! Cover, TWO! Ember keeps on Mickie, tag to Dana. They work together to double suplex Mickie. Dana covers, TWO! Dana whips Mickie and handspring back elbows in. She then scoops and slams Mickie, to drop a handspring moonsault! Cover, TWO! Dana keeps Mickie down and tags in Bayley. Fans fire up but Mickie gets away. Mickie grabs onto Tamina, and tags her in. Fans fire up for Bayley as she circles with the Daughter of Superfly.

Bayley ducks Tamina’s lunge and fires off hands, but Tamina knees her low. Tamina puts Bayley in a corner, then hits a back elbow. Tamina whips Bayley to another corner but Bayley dodges! Bayley runs in for a big knee! She keeps going, but Tamina puts her on the apron. Bayley hotshots Tamina away, then gets a waistlock. Tamina bucks her off and tags Nia, the Samoan Dynasty bulldoze Bayley! Nia soaks up the heat as she covers, TWO! Nia brings Bayley up for a headbutt, then tags Mickie. Mickie stomps away on Bayley, then tags Alicia. Alicia stomps Bayley then snapmares her. Alicia wraps on a thrashing chinlock, but fans rally up. Bayley fights up but Alicia wrangles her back down. Alicia thrashes around more but Bayley still endures. Fans continue to rally and Bayley feeds off the energy.

Alicia puts Bayley in her corner and tags in Nia. Nia teases a headbutt, but wraps her in a chinlock. Fans keep rallying, but Nia throws Bayley down before blasting Ember and Dana. Sasha protests, and Bayley fights back! But Nia scoops Bayley. Bayley slips out and blasts Tamina, then throws Nia into Mickie! Alicia tags in but hot tag to Sasha! Fans explode for The Boss as she rallies on Alicia! She blocks a kick to give a knee! Sasha hits double knees, then double knees again! Cover, but Tamina breaks it. Ember gives Tamina an Eclipse! Mickie hits a flying seated senton, but Dana hits a crossbody! Nia runs Dana over, but then misses Sasha in the corner. Bayley climbs up, Macho Elbow to Nia’s back! But Alicia rolls Sasha, to end up in a Bank Statement! Alicia taps, Sasha’s team wins!

Winners: Banks, Bayley, Moon & Brooke, Banks by submission

Elias’ friends help shut up and shut down Nia’s team! Big things are coming for Bayley and Ember in Mixed Match Challenge, will this momentum help both of them through the Playoffs? And what of Sasha and Dana, will they find themselves back in the title hunt?

Samoa Joe speaks on WWE Starrcade.

“It’s said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result.” Some would say Joe is going insane, because he and Styles have done this over and over again. Lately even Joe must admit the results are basically the same. But that wasn’t right. Maybe he’s not insane, maybe it’s Styles. Because every time they’ve done this, Styles has last a bit of himself each time. Styles is the one expecting a different result each time but he never gets it. So now Joe, who has had a lot taken from him, will be the one taking everything from Styles.

The definition of insanity isn’t doing things over wanting a different result, the definition is being arrogant enough to take Joe on in a cage and expecting to walk out at all. Joe wants Styles to enjoy the time he has, because Starrcade is where Styles is finally put to sleep.

It’s time for a Starrcade edition of Miz TV!

The Most Must-See WWE Talk Show comes to Cincinnati! Miz is honored to be part of this legendary program, that featured classic matches like Ric Flair VS Harley Race, Greg “The Hammer” Valentine VS “Rowdy” Roddy Piper, and even “The Total Package” Lex Luger VS “The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes! That match was for the United States Championship, and that same title will be on the line tonight! Therefore, welcome the challenger, Rey Mysterio! The King of Lucha was at the last WCW Starrcade in 2000, but judging by that neck brace, he is still suffering from the attack by the vicious Viper, Randy Orton. And welcome the champion, Shinsuke Nakamura! The King of Strong Style is in far better shape, because he only competes when he deems someone is worthy of his title. And with Mysterio back in WWE, Nakamura has wanted nothing more than such an opponent!

The three sit in the chairs, and Miz hopes the fans are done singing Nakamure’s theme. Miz says it’s nice to see Mysterio is all covered up again, after what Orton did to him. Orton used a chair on that throat! So why isn’t Mysterio home healing? Mysterio says it’s because Starrcade holds a special place in Mysterio’s heart, something Miz wouldn’t understand. This was where Mysterio saw his heroes for the first time. The Nature Boy, the American Dream, The Icon Sting, and someone else who means so much to Rey: Eddie Guerrero! Fans love and miss Eddie, too. Mysterio says it’s so important to be part of history as he becomes the NEW US Champion at Starrcade.

“Uh oh, Shin. He’s name dropping, he’s ready, he’s motivated. The WWE Universe is behind him.” How does Nakamura feel playing spoiler to that at Starrcade? Arcade? No, Starrcade. Oh, Starrcade. That’s the event here and now! Does he not know Starrcade? Nakamura knows what Starrcade is, but he just doesn’t care. Nakamura doesn’t care about Starrcade or about Mysterio. Though he did love watching Orton beating Mysterio up. Miz chuckles, because he also liked it. Mysterio tells Miz to shut up. Miz blames Mysterio for their Survivor Series loss. Really? Miz was team captain and also got beat, so he shares the blame. And when Mysterio’s hand goes up, YOUR mouth goes shut! As for Nakamura, he loves watching Orton beat Mysterio up? Then let’s see you do it right now.

Miz says before we get to that, don’t use his catchphrase against him! Nakamura attacks Mysterio from behind! The Miz calls for a ref so this match can start!

WWE United States Championship: Shinsuke Nakamura VS Rey Mysterio!

Nakamura rips the neck brace off but the referee backs him off quickly. The ref checks on Rey, Rey wants it and the bell rings. Now Nakamura goes after Mysterio with knees! Then he suplexes Mysterio for a gordbuster! Nakamura mocks Mysterio’s pain, but also aims from a corner. Mysterio stands and he gets Nakamura with a victory roll! TWO, and Nakamura swings a kick. Mysterio ducks but gets the other kick! Nakamura drags Mysterio over to a corner and puts him up top. Nakamura backs off, Top Shelf Knee! Mysterio is down on the apron, but Nakamura follows him out. Nakamura scoops but Mysterio slips out. Mysterio kicks Nakamura down then baseball slides! Nakamura hits barriers, and Mysterio gets on the apron.

The Miz checks on Nakamura, and Mysterio leaps after Nakamura, but Nakamura dodges and sends that seated senton onto Miz! Then Nakamura hits Mysterio and puts him in the ring. Nakamura takes his time getting in but Mysterio goes out to shoulder in. Mysterio swing kicks Nakamura away then springboards, seated senton! Mysterio keeps moving, gets a waistlock and then shoves Nakamura. Nakamura runs back but into a dropkick! Nakamura’s on the ropes, and Mysterio builds speed, but Miz drags Mysterio out! Miz attacks by throwing Mysterio into barriers!

Winner: Rey Mysterio, by disqualification; Shinsuke Nakamura retains the WWE United States Championship

Miz feeds Mysterio back to Nakamura and the two of them beat Mysterio down! But here comes the Bulgarian Brute, Rusev! Rusev goes after Miz with haymakers! And clotheslines him out! Then he goes after Nakamura, and throws him out! Lana follows, and she takes a mic. “Cincinnati, you wanna see a tag match?” It’ll be Miz & Nakamura VS Mysterio & Rusev! Fans like the sound of that, and that is what we’ll get! And it makes for a great “Rusev Day! Rusev Day!”

The Miz & Shinsuke Nakamura VS Rey Mysterio & Rusev w/ Lana!

The Miz and Nakamura approach, but Miz leaves Nakamura high and dry against Rusev! Nakamura scrambles away but Miz and Nakamura don’t care. They start up the ramp, but Mysterio and Rusev chase them down! Mysterio drags Nakamura back, and Rusev goes after Miz. The bell rings but the brawls continue. Mysterio and Rusev coordinate to whip Nakamura and Miz into each other. Mysterio dropkicks Nakamura out, and then Rusev heps Mysterio headscissor Miz to ropes! Time to dial it up, but Nakamura blasts in! The ref makes Rusev exit, and Nakamura goes after Mysterio in a corner. Nakamura gives Mysterio Bad Vibrations! They’re made worse by that bad neck. Nakamura then cravats Mysterio and brings him over, for a knee drop! Cover, TWO! Nakamura keeps Mysterio from Rusev and tags in Miz.

Miz laughs it up as he mocks Machka. Miz kicks Mysterio in the ribs but fans are thunderous for “Rusev Day!” Mysterio fights back, then runs, but into a boot! Miz continues to mock Rusev and Machka, then drags Mysterio over. Nakamura tags in and he splits the wishbone with Miz. Nakamura grinds his foot into Mysterio but stops at 4. Miz gets in cheap shots! Miz feeds Mysterio back to Nakamura for the cover, TWO! Nakamura brings Mysterio up for a facelock. Nakamura wrenches Mysterio’s head but Rusev and fans rally. Mysterio fights back but Nakamura clubs him down. Nakamura runs and sunset flips but Mysterio rolls through to buzzsaw kick! Fans rally up as Mysterio crawls for his corner. Nakamura stops Mysterio short, but gets an enziguri! Mysterio hot tags to Rusev! Miz tags in but Rusev rallies!

Rusev hits a big back shoulder to running spin kick! Fans fire up and Rusev glares at Miz. Rusev stomps the mat but misses the Machka Kick. Miz wants the Finale but is tossed off, roundhouse! Cover, TWO! Rusev keeps his cool, and fires back up! Rusev, CRUSH! But Nakamura distracts! Skull Crushing Finale! Cover, but Mysterio breaks it! Miz shoves Mysterio but runs into a boot. Mysterio hits Nakamura, then headscissors Miz into Nakamura’s gut. They’re both on the ropes, DOUBLE 619!! Machka Kick for Miz! Cover, Rusev & Rey win!

Winners: Rusev & Rey Mysterio, Rusev pinning

Mysterio may not have gotten the title off Nakamura, but he and Rusev still make Starrcade a ravishing Rusev Day! Will this win help both Mysterio and Rusev in the hunt for Nakamura’s title? Or will Shinsuke give them both a #Knee2Face in the near future?

Steel Cage Match: AJ Styles VS Samoa Joe!

The Phenomenal One is angry from having lost the WWE Championship to the “New” Daniel Bryan, but the savage and sadistic mind games The Destroyer played are still fresh wounds themselves. Will Styles be able to keep focus on Joe and the steel? Or will Joe finally get one over on the Face that Runs the Place?

Both men enter the cage and the bell rings. They go right at each other, and Joe throws hands and headbutts! Joe elbows Styles down, then brings him up for another headbutt. Fans rally behind Styles, but Joe throws Styles at the steel. Styles stops himself and hits Joe back. Styles kicks Joe’s bad leg, then goes to throw Joe at steel. Joe stops himself but Styles chops him. Styles fires off more but Joe turns it around to CHOP Styles hard! Joe stalks Styles then drives in a knee. Joe runs, but into a dropkick! Styles is on Joe with a buckle bump, then rams in his shoulder. Fans start dueling as Styles snapmares Joe. Styles kicks Joe in the back, and then drops an elbow on his head. Joe staggers and Styles goes after his leg again. Styles kicks and kicks, then goes to suplex.

Joe is too big and strong, so Styles throws in another knee. Styles tries again but Joe suplexes him instead for a gordbuster! Joe grits his teeth and bounces Styles off the steel! Styles staggers around, but Joe throws him again! Styles slowly stands up, and Joe sandwiches him against the steel! Joe waits for Styles to stand before throwing jabs in a corner. Styles chops Joe back, then throws a headbutt. Styles runs but Joe blasts him with a back elbow! Fans continue to duel as Joe leaves Styles behind. The door opens but Styles runs in! Joe is ready, and gives Styles a spinebsuter! He drops a knee, covers, TWO! Joe drags Styles up and grinds Styles’ face into steel! Joe tosses Styles aside, but Styles gets up.

Styles throws a haymaker, and another, and has Joe rocked. Styles whips Joe but Joe reverses, then hits the back elbow and Pele! He drags Styles to a cover, TWO! Joe keeps his cool as he drags Styles back up. He whips Styles at steel again! Styles is down and Joe paces about. Joe decides to keep going. He runs, but Styles dodges and Joe jumps into steel! Fans duel again as Styles slowly gets away from the wall. Styles bobs ‘n’ weaves and fires off strikes. Phenomenal Blitz hits! Then the sliding forearm! Joe manages to get to a corner, and Styles runs in for another forearm! Styles lifts Joe but Joe slips out. Joe shoves Styles but runs into an elbow. Styles moonsaults for the DDT! Cover, TWO!

Styles slowly stands, and decides to leave Joe behind. He climbs, but Joe goes after him! Styles kicks Joe away, but then gives up on the climb to jump! But Joe catches him, for a belly2belly suplex! Both men are down, tired and sore. Fans continue to duel as they both slowly stand. Joe is up first and goes for the door. Styles is in his way and the two fight. Joe whips Styles to the opposite corner, but then runs into buckles! Styles kicks, tornado DDT! Both men are down again and fans are thunderous. Styles drags Joe up, and wants the Clash! But Joe trips Styles up to catapult him! Styles hits steel, then Joe SUPERKICKS and sentons! Cover, TWO!! Joe grows frustrated, because this may very well be the insanity he spoke of earlier.

Joe drags Styles up and onto the top rope. He tucks him in, but Styles knows what’s coming. Styles fights off the Muscle Buster, then chop blocks the bad leg! Styles kicks the leg, but Joe stays up. Joe turns things around but Styles dodges, only to run into the urenage! Both men are down again, but Styles rolls towards the door! Joe hurries to his feet to hobble over. Joe drags Styles up but Styles gets him with the Calf Crusher! Styles has Joe and no ropebreaks will help here! Joe endures, taps, Styles wins again!

Winner: AJ Styles, by submission

Joe said it himself, doing the same thing over and over but expecting a different result is insanity. And perhaps Joe is realizing it now, as Styles gets him again. Will Joe ever get a win on The Phenomenal One? And as for Styles, has he finally put Joe away for good? Will this win help him reclaim the WWE Championship at TLC?

My Thoughts:

A pretty fun little special. Last year’s WWE Starrcade wasn’t “televised” so it was really great that they realized to do it this year. An hour seemed pretty short for the aired edition, because we know the actual show was likely closer to two. This final cut worked well, one part Raw and two parts SmackDown. Elias was good, Ric was a bit too excited to be out there with the women, but the Eight Woman Tag was still pretty solid. It was basically something you’d see on Raw, and because this was essentially a house show (aka filler) the Faces win so fans can be happy. Miz TV transitioning into the US Championship match that then became a tag match (holla holla) should’ve been expected. At the same time, I bet this means Nakamura defends against Mysterio and Rusev at TLC, with the build to it implying who wins.

Samoa Joe’s promo of “the definition of insanity” was really good, and it really frames his story with Styles. Styles wins again because it’s filler, he’s the Face and he needs to still look strong going towards his rematch with Daniel Bryan. That aside, it was a really fun cage match, and maybe this kayfabe convinces Joe to try for the US Championship regardless of who has it. If Mysterio gets it, Orton will surely be up first, but if Rusev gets it or Nakamura keeps it, I’d love to see either of them VS Joe on the road to Royal Rumble, or even Wrestlemania.

My Score: 8/10