Joe Dinan is here to get you caught up on AAA for the week! See what happened through 1/28/2019).

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Mascara de Bronce, Raptor, and Vanilla (Lady Shani) vs Jack Evans (Chicano), Australian Suicide (Villano III Jr), and La Hiedra (Lady Marvilla)

Well this match got murdered to high heaven as you can see 4 scheduled wrestlers aren’t there. The match starts with utter chaos. Raptor makes Villano fall out of the ring. Maravilla and Shani get in the ring and do some spots. Shani gets her in a submission then gets stomped out by the opposing team. Bronce does a huge step up dive. This match is going 500 miles per hour. Bronce gets back in the ring and hits a gut buster on Maravilla. Bronce gets her on the top but Maravilla hits a spanish fly. Lady Shani rolls into a full nelson guillotine on Chicano for the win. Talk about a crash match. Lady Shani defeats Chicano with a full nelson submission.

Winners: Lady Shani, Mascara de Bronce, and Raptor

Myzteziz Jr (Bengala), Nino Hamburguesa, and Hijo del Vikingo (Mamba) vs Mocho Cota Jr, Carta Brava Jr, and Tito Santana

My god this card is butchered. Bengala and Cota start with no grappling at all. Bengala gets a head scissors on Cota. Mamba comes in with Brava and Mamba runs into him then kissing Santana. Hamburger Boy then hits a middle rope dive on Carta Brava. Santana gets Bengala in doomsday device position on the floor and Cota does a middle rope dive on him. Afterwards they team up on Mamba. Hamburger gets back dropped and from the top Santana hits a drop kick to his inner thigh with a chair in the way. Bengala must have got hurt on the Doomsday device spot because he’s being stretched out. Back in the ring Porde de Norte is stuffed in the corner and Nino runs into them. Maravilla comes out and distracts Nino and then Porde de Norte pills on Mamba and pins…him. Porde de Norte pins Mamba where they all piled on her.

Winners: Mocho Cota Jr, Carta Brava Jr, and Tito Santana

(Latin American Championship) Drago (Champion) vs La Parka Negra vs Argenis vs Golden Magic

Parka launches Magic into Argenis for a hurricanrana then Parka botches a head scissors. Argenis gets Parka out and then Magic hits a tornado dive and head scissors on him. Drago and Magic do a double team attack on Argenis and Parka which lead to a double DDT. Argenis does a superplex on Magic followed by Parka hitting a frog splash on Magic. Drago hits a move on Parka but Argenis breaks up the pin. Magic does a lung blower on Argenis and then Parka picks him up and power bombs him, Magic. Drago whips Parka out of the ring and then hits an over the top rope dive. Argenis then does an asai moonsault on the outside. Magic then does the same thing. Back in the ring Parka hits a swinging slam on Drago for a two count. Parka is angry. He misses a frog splash. Magic misses a splash and so does Argenis. Argenis throws Drago and kicks him in the nuts. Drago and Parka then kick each other in the head. Yes nobody is selling anything. On the outside Parka Jack knifes Argenis on the ramp. Drago spits in Parka’s face to knock him out. Magic hits a springboard cutter on Drago for a two. Argenis is getting stretched off now. Magic sit out slams Drago then misses a 450. Drago leaps up and gets him in a pinning combination for the win. Drago beats Golden Magic with a pinning combination.

Winner: Drago

Murder Clown, Drago (Hijo Del Vikingo), and Laredo Kid (Myzteziz Jr) vs Chessman, Averno, and Super Fly

Vikingo starts with Super Fly and they trade moves. Chessman comes in with Myzteziz but Averno comes in and stomps him out. Averno chops Murder Clown but it wasn’t a good idea. Clown presses him and then elbow drops him. Brawling then ensues. OGTs start beating on Myzteziz. Averno rips at his mask. Averno does a running stomp to Myzteziz while Chessman and Super Fly hold him. Chessman power bombs Vikingo into the barricade then a drink is thrown onto him. Dives are done to the outside until Clown and Chessman are in the ring. He gets Chessman down but then Averno attacks him from behind but Murder Clown isn’t phased and does a monkey flip. After a lot of chaos Chessman is in with Myzteziz but not for long the rest of the OGTs come in and stomp him out. Myzteziz gets back up and starts a huge come back hitting moves on all of them. Vikingo hits a flipping kick on Averno and out maneuvers him. The OGTs hit a triple power bomb on Myzteziz but Vikingo stops the pin. They hit a press slam on Vikingo, Clown breaks it up. Murder does a 619, then Vikingo and Myzteziz flip off the top into pinning hurricanranas and they all get two counts. Vikingo launches Myzteziz to the outside and hits a hurricanrana on Chessman. Vikingo monkey flips Super Fly to the outside, then hits an asai imploder 450. Murder Clown then hits a flip dive over the top. Back in the ring Averno stomps on Vikingo. Vikingo runs up and hits a spansih fly then an imploder 450 on Averno for the win. Hijo del Vikingo hits an imploder 450 on Averno for the win.

Winners: Murder Clown, Hijo Del Vikingo, and Myzteziz Jr

Psycho Clown, Dr. Wagner Jr, and Aerostar vs Rey Escorpion, Hijo del Fantasma, and Monster Clown

Clown yells into the microphone and Escorpion attacks him. Rey continues to attack Clown on the outside. Aerostar gets teamed on in the ring. After Aerostar gets taken out it’s time to work on Wagner. Now they’re attacking Psycho with his belt. Now they’re beating on Aerostar yet again. Rey then starts to tear at Psycho Clown’s mask. Monster then tears at Aerostar’s mask. Wagner ducks a double team spot and this causes a come back. Psycho, Aerostar, and Wagner all hit middle rope dives. They then do it again except over the top except Wagner. He just slides to the outside. They then pose in the ring. Spots then get traded at a fast rate. Aerostar takes care of Monster Clown. Rey takes out Aerostar, now it’s him with Psycho Clown. Rey press slams Clown and then pins him but Clown kicks out. Wagner gets in with Fantasma but then they posture to the crowd. They go back and forth doing moves on each other. The only thing that resembles a back and forth wrestling match so far. Rey and Clown dive on Fantasma and Escorpion then Aerostar gets Clown in a pin for a two count. Clown gets up and just drops him for a two count. Star hits a sunset flip power bomb for two. Clown drapes Aerostar on the ropes and then misses a moonsault. Aerostar hits a springboard code breaker for the win. Clown’s shoulders were definitely not on the mat but whatever. Aerostar pins Monster Clown with a code breaker.

Winners: Psycho Clown, Dr. Wagner Jr, and Aerostar

Post match Rey, Clown, and Fantasma beat on the victors. Clown’s mask is stolen as is Aerostar’s. Fantasma bites Wagner’s forehead.

Pagano and Joe Lider vs Ciclope and Miedo Extremo

So I guess Ciclope and Miedo are tag champs. Now at the risk of sounding bad I don’t remember this title switch but maybe it did happen. But I can’t remember Texano and Rey losing. Well whatever. Joe Lider brings a staple gun to the ring. I’m unsure if this is for the tag titles. I’ll add it later if it is. Pagano and Miedo exchange some moves until Ciclope attacks Pagano. Lider comes in to fight Ciclope. Ciclope smacks Lider with a chair. A chair is placed on Lider’s face and Ciclope hits him with another chair. Ciclipe stomps the back of Lider’s head. Lider is getting a beating. Pagano finally gets in and goes crazy. He hits a swinging neck breaker on Ciclope. Then power bombs Miedo on him. Lider staples Ciclope’s tongue. Nice. Ciclope gets a bucket and pours broken glass on the mat. Ciclope kicks Lider and then curb stomps him onto broken glass. Pagano catches Ciclope and hits a swinging slam on the broken glass. Miedo then nails Pagano with a chair. Miedo flips behind Pagano then back suplexes him on glass. Why? I don’t know. Lider places Miedo on the ropes and swinging neck breakers him onto glass. Ciclope hits Lider with a cookie sheet. Then picks up wooden spikes. Ciclope has money stapled on his head. Pagano tries to spike Miedo’s head but Ciclope breaks it up. Ciclope then spikes Pagano. Pagano pulls them out then spikes Ciclope. Then he does it to Miedo. Everyone is spiked. Pagano DDTs Cilcope with spikes in his head. Whyyyyy. Miedo is on the apron and Pagano runs at him but Miedo flips him over and they both land badly on a table. Lider throws Ciclope into the turnbuckle neck first. Lider hits a code breaker to Ciclope’s arm for a two. Ciclope sunset flips Lider off the top, then Miedo hits a snug german suplex for the win. Miedo Extremo pins Joe Lider with a german suplex.

Pagano is on the outside and they’re bringing the stretcher out. That’s three people on this show hurt.

Winners: Miedo Extremo and Ciclope