#RAWisDVR: Greg DeMarco’s ACCELERATED Look At WWE Raw for 2/18

Greg DeMarco watches WWE RAW on DVR, and you get to see how much time he saved! In the process, he’s highly entertaining, because it’s Greg DeMarco!

The experiment continues! Monday’s Raw follows up WWE Elimination Chamber, but it’s also a holiday Raw. What will happen? Will Greg skip too much? Let’s see!

Triple H is in entering the ring

• Raw is weird again–not showing entrances
• Promo in a nutshell: this is a holiday Raw, and nothing of consequence will happen–but we will try to make you think it is!
• FAST FORWARD some talking
• NXT?
• Having Ricochet, Aleister Black, Johnny Gargano, and Tommaso Ciampa appear on Raw is great, but it immediately makes the 6 stars awaiting assignment look small time
• No Velveteen Dream? I wonder if this is a set-up?

FAST FORWARD the entrances

Braun Noveltyman vs. Baron Corbin Sucks in a Tables Match

• I FAST FORWARDed it, but they spent WAY too much time on Corbin walking.
• He sucks at walking, too.
• Corbin also sucks at sliding tables under rings.
• Why would he do that, anyway? He needs a table to win!
• The flaw in a Tables Match, at least for this experiment, is that you can FAST FORWARD when a table isn’t involved.
• FAST FORWARD commercials, we’re already saving tons of time tonight!
• I wonder if Abyss is the agent for Baron Corbin’s matches? I mean, that’s the Vortex Of Suck!
• Strowman wins. You’re shocked, I know.
• Paul Heyman is on the stage, as WWE tries to keep you from changing the channel.

FAST FORWARD the commercials
Timestamp 15:39 (Show time: 35:43)

Paul Heyman is on the stage

• Heyman didn’t give us the proper intro, and it hurt the segment.
• FAST FORWARD the video
• Heyman is right, Brock Lesnar is a force of nature that we can’t do anything about. That’s why him as champion works so well.
• This crowd doesn’t really seem to care all that much about Seth Rollins
• ANOTHER INTERRUPTION – #FinnBalorsDick is out and dressed to fight

Alternate Names For This:

• #RAWisINTERRUPTION
• #PleaseDontChangeTheChannel
• #RAWisWEIRD

FAST FORWARD the commercials and video

Finn Balor & Ricochet vs. Bobby Lashley & Lio Rush

• “One of these championships” isn’t a great way to describe everyone’s favorite title
• Lio Rush is here, presumably to distract Balor so Lashley can attack him (because WWE)
• And there he is!
• BTW, you don’t FAST FORWARD when Lio Rush is talking
• Which NXT star saves Balor? Ricochet? Black?
• Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand it’s Ricochet.
• FAST FORWARD the commercials
• Ricochet really needed an introduction for this audience
• Evan Bourne mention by Renee Young?
• Renee is basically telling us that no one watches NXT.
• This crowd could give a shit about Ricochet.
• Four amazing athletes and there’s enough stalling for me to FAST FORWARD?
• FAST FORWARD the commercials, again?
• If you’re worried about Ricochet on the main roster…your fear is warranted.
• FAST FORWARD the talking, but I stopped to see what Drew McIntyre was

FAST FORWARD so much stuff!
Timestamp: 33:45 (Real time: 1:23:05)

The Major Brothers (Zack Ryder & Curt Hawkins) vs. Lucha House Party’s Gran Metallik & Lince Dorado

• This isn’t where Hawkins wins, right? A throw away Raw match?
• “Tans don’t win championships, ask Eric Bischoff!”
• BTW, if Corey Graves is going through personal strife, he’s BURYING himself in his work, because he’s on fire tonight!
• And of course Hawkins loses.
• FAST FORWARD time!

Charly Caruso interviews Heavy Machinery

• TUCKER hits the highlights, OTIS drives it home
• Lacey Evans literally just walks the fuck around! And does nothing else? Lars couldn’t handle this?
• We’re not having matches now, just entrances? And Bushwhacker walking? Missed opportunity for me to FAST FORWARD.

FAST FORWARD the commercials

DIY talks to Bobby Roode & chad Gable

• Johnny Gargano looks like he’s waiting to say his lines, but Tommaso Ciampa is sitting there maintaining his gimmick
• See Renee, The Revival watches NXT!
• And the entrance we do get is The Revival?
• Oh we get Ciampa and Gargano entrances, too

The Revival vs. DIY (non-title assumed)

• The fans in Lafayette have got to feel like they did something wrong, or wonder if they’re still watching dark matches
• Literally 6 people are chanting “NXT!” Somehow I don’t see how this was a good idea.
• While we’re here, anyone want to talk to me about how important it is to have defined Faces and Heels? No? Didn’t think so.
• Classic Gargano? Not Vintage? Maybe Cole really is looking to finish this up.
• FAST FORWARD the commercials and I am 5 minutes short of an hour saved
• A “Saints Got Robbed” sign? Let it go, brother.
• The announcers selling what it would mean if DIY wins has to be foreshadowing, eh?
• This match is proof that you can’t just throw matches out and expect a reaction–you need to build characters first.
• Great match–imagine if the crowd had a reason to be invested in more than the last two minutes!

Charly Caruso talks to Ricochet

• Damn, Ricochet looks nervous
• I hope that was done live, and not the best take in pretapes

FAST FORWARD the commercials
(These Kevin Owens videos are boring–this is supposed to get him over upon return?)
Timestamp: 59:27 (Real time: 2:01:15)
FAST FORWARD the promo, the commentary aside, DX package, commercials, and more entrances

Dean Ambrose vs. Drew McIntyre

• Credit to McIntyre for trying to take the referee’s directions off camera, but this was WAY off
• I don’t want to blame Ambrose, but shit this was oddly bad

FAST FORWARD
Timestamp: 1:04:24 (Real time: 2:22:23 )

Seth Rollins Talking to Charly Caruso

• It’s about what you’d expect.
• Whatever they’re doing with Ambrose here, it sucks.

FAST FORWARD the commercials and videos

Elias vs. Aleister Black

• “Hello I am Eliath” Aleister Black here?
• Elias is so good at cheap heat, and I 100% believe in cheap heat
• And we let Aleister cut a promo? That’s totally bad for his character.
• Black trimmed the beard, and it was a smart move
• FAST FORWARD the commercials
• “His tattoos tall a story about his life–dark and mean” yet I see flowers on his arm?
• FAST FORWARD the chinlock
• BLACK MASS is still a great finisher, even if this one was a bit awkward.
• I really wonder if the time these guys have to work on their matches at the PC really is the key to NXT’s success

FAST FORWARD the commercials and entrances

Ronda Rousey vs. Ruby Riott

• Holiday Raw means no Becky Lynch or Charlotte Flair?
• Did Ronda borrow shorts from Lacey Evans?
• Someday Ruby Riott is going to be booked like a plucky underdog babyface, and she’s going to flourish
• Even the commentary is off tonight!
• And there’s the “WE WANT BECKY!” chants
• Camera work, anyone? We just saw two different conversations take place in the ring.
• Damn, Ronda took that Riott kick square to the head!
• And Ronda has now kicked out of Ruby’s finisher TWICE. Once off the top!
• Ronda was terrible tonight.
• Raw ends with Ronda standing tall and nothing else.

Final Timestamp: 1:24:44
Real Time: 3:00:00
Time Saved: 1:35:16

Overall, this was just a weird Raw. Nearly everything seemed off, and as we march towards WrestleMania, nothing that happened tonight will be remembered.