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Impact Coverage

Andrew’s IMPACT Ratings & Review 3/8/2019

Following up the largest Twitch audience so far; Andrew brings us his thoughts on IMPACT!

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Following up the largest Twitch audience so far; Andrew brings us his thoughts on IMPACT!

I don’t have a cute play on words this week, but hey, we find out who Scarlett’s first opponent will be! So a guarantee of Scarlett is always nice.

Will Glenn find Don Callis? How stoned will the Rascalz get? Will Rich Swann join oVe?

Just remember, my writing is like a Scarecrow, outstanding in it’s field! No? Shuddup Santana!

Ratings:

Rich Swann vs ‘All Ego’ Ethan Page: Swann wins via Phoenix Splash – ** 3/4

Ace Austin vs Jake Atlas: Austin wins via The Fold – ** 1/2

DARK WAR: Allie, Su Yung & Undead Maid of Honor vs Kiera Hogan, Jordynne Grace & Rosemary: Rosemary wins via Spear – ***

Dez & Wentz vs Lucha Bros: Pentagon wins via Pentagon Driver/Superkick combo – *** 1/2

 

Results:

We start off with a match again! Odd to notice, there’s a giant Live watermark in the corner…I don’t know why. We all know it isn’t, not sure who’s bright idea it was to add that to production. But the match is good, Page definitely gloats and plays to the crowd too much, feeding into the All Ego moniker, so that’s good character work. Swann gets caught by a few heel short cuts, but after a strike exchange, Swann hits a Back Handspring Cutter and then a Phoenix Splash for the win.

oVe comes out, offers Swann the shirt again. Swann puts the shirt on, but attacks them and bails in DDP style fake out.

Callis and Melissa are back again! I think they’ve realized Melissa is a selling point to the Twitch crowd. Callis will be leaving soon since he’s in Japan for the New Japan Cup commentary. Now give us some Jimmy Jacobs!

LAX backstage segment, Konnan says his new favorite line of being like Scarecrows Outstanding in their field, and Santana just stares at the camera like “really?” – So I like the small 4th wall break and the casual style of segment LAX seem to always have.

Rolando Menendez investigative reporter segment trying to interview Cage after his beat down last week. He gets kicked out by referees before Cage can kill him.

This is a surprisingly competitive match with what seemed like local enhancement talent. Austin looks smooth in the ring, likes to use an Outside-In Disaster Kick and his finish is a Running Blockbuster after a Sweet Chin Music style “tuning up the band”. Not bad.

Menendez again with a satellite interview with Taya and Johnny. Johnny is in a neck brace, they say he’s looking at neck fusion but he’s still gonna honor the title shot he promised Cage. The bullshit can be smelled, not because it’s wrestling, but because Johnny is about as sincere as Jared Leto’s Joker (acting is about on par too…yes I mean awful). So I guess we’re setting up Cage to get screwed again. Just put the damn belt on The Machine!

Reno Scum accepts the Fallah and KM challenge in an old school style promo. It’s not bad.

Alisha Edwards comes out with an announcement. I forgot how much she sounds like a typical chick from Boston. Like the chick from the Ted Movie…but without charisma. She says a lot of nothing since her contract is coming to an end. She says maybe she’ll stay home and start a family, so the Desi Hit Squad come out and an support her comment on leaving and typical misogynistic woman bashing.  Can’t tell if it’s racist since they’re Indian or just for heat on International Women’s Day. But Gama gets slapped. Eddie Edwards comes out with the kendo stick and cleans house until he stalls on hitting Gama. Eli saunters out, hits the ring slowly, Desi Hit Squad thinks he’s on their side, but he clears them, Gravy Trains for everyone and walks off telling Eddie “it’s something to think about”.

Menendez AGAIN. Approaches Cage with his Johnny info and Cage shoves him and says “No one likes a shit stirrer Menendez”.

Technical difficulties always haunt Melissa. It’s funny how it happens every week. Embrace the gimmick Melissa.

Alisha, Eddie and Eli in the back, Eddie agrees to tagging next week against the Desi Hit Squad, 1 time. I do like this idea of Eli working back into things with a possible tag team run.

GWN Flashback is The Wolves vs The Hardys vs Team 3D from No Surrender 2014. Ladder match that brings back old TLC memories since two thirds of the originators are in this match.

Out of the flashback comes a Melissa Santos interview with Kross and Moose. Moose is a good goofy/smug heel and Kross is captivating. The way he speaks is great. He enunciates well, and has a presence that makes you care about what he says.

Rascalz with a great promo, watch:

James Mitchell looks like Geoff Tate…I can’t unsee it now, Operation: MIND CRIME! The match is held under sexy red and purple mood lighting. It’s a little odd to watch, but to begin with each person gets a shot in the match and Jim Mitchell’s team is up to usual tricks. A couple odd spots, but generally fun. Granted I don’t know how the Undead Maid of Honor became the legal wrestler, so even though Rosemary wins, it’s up for argument. But we see Rosemary put a collar and leash on Allie and drag her up the ramp.

Glenn bumps into Konnan, says Don Callis hired him to be a mascot, tells him he’s in his office. Glenn storms in, runs off at the mouth thinking it was Don, but it ended up being Killer Kross. Good comedy.

More Glenn after the break:

Scarlett comes out to declare her first opponent. A little playful banter with her and Josh in the ring talking about the people she was scouting before. She says Disco Inferno was the worst candidate. Glenn gets mad, cuts a misogynistic promo, Scarlett is all fired up and challenges Disco. Disco says if she feels the same way next week, she won’t have to look too hard to find him. Against All Odds in 3 weeks is the official match between Scarlett and Glenn.

Tessa being interviewed by Melissa in the back. Jordynne Grace and Tessa Blanchard confirmed for next week in a number 1 contender match.

Rascalz and Lucha Bros have a quick paced match with a good bit of personality back and forth. Rascalz hung in there for a while, pulling off some fun high risk moves. Rascalz get effectively outclassed in this match. Fenix and Pentagon hit a little harder with the tandem moves and pull off the win with the Pentagon Driver/Superkick combo which we haven’t seen in a while Usually they finish matches with the Spiked Fear Factor.

 

Overall Score: 6.5/10

Above average, but the show did feel a little flat. The Dark War was really the biggest thing in a show that furthered all of the stories, but didn’t seem to have a great flow. Still not bad at all with good comedy with Glenn, Dark War entertainment and the main event was solid…but things were odd. Like I pointed out with the Dark War, I don’t know why the pin counted when I’m fairly positive Allie was the legal wrestler (maybe I missed a tag, but that bothered me), plus the fact that Allie doesn’t seem to have her soul back so what could’ve been a big culmination feels more like a comma.

Twitch Views:

  • Week 1: High – 10,350 / Low – 8,500
  • Week 2: High – 8,000 / Low – 6,500 
  • Week 3: High – 8,500 / Low – 7,900  
  • Week 4: High – 7,100 / Low – 5,300
  • Week 5: High – 7,450 / Low – 5,650
  • Uncaged: High – 9,000/ Low – 8,000
  • Week 6: High – 8,025/ Low – 5,300
  • Week 7: High – 14,400/Low – 9,800
  • Week 8: High – 7,200/Low – 4,500

This show started off slow with the viewers (hence why the low is where it’s at), but once the show got moving, it held steady at around 6,000. Coming off the huge spike last week, this is a little disappointing, but honestly the show didn’t feel extremely important either. So this seems to happen if you look back at Week 4. It’s either the fact that Friday is a rough day for a product with no Video On Demand, or people just pick a week or two to tune out and then come back before or after (or during) named events.

Again, the show was above average and still a very solid product to continue to show some love to.

 

 

 


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Coverage

Andrew’s TNA Rebellion Results & Match Ratings: 4.20.2024

Moose takes on Nic Nemeth fka Dolph Ziggler in the main event for the World Championship!!

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We get Josh Alexander vs Alexander Hammerstone 3, Moose versus Nic Nemeth for the World Championship and Steph De Lander challenging Jordynne Grace for the Knockouts World Title! This should be a solid card, so lets get to predictions.

 

  1. The Rascalz (Myron Reed, Trey Miguel & Zachary Wentz) vs Leon Slater & The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey) – Hard for me to see the actual team losing here, so I’m going with The Rascalz, but it could go either way.
  2. Knockouts Tag Titles: Spitfire (Dani Luna & Jody Threat) (c) vs Decay (Havok & Rosemary) – I don’t need to see Decay with the belts again, especially if Da-MALISH is next up. So my playlist has Spitfire retaining.
  3. Digital Media Championship: Crazzy Steve (c) vs Laredo Kid – I mean, Laredo Kid rarely ever wins. Does the story lead us to believe he’ll get revenge? Sure. Do I believe in him? Not at all. So Steve retains.
  4. X Division Championship: Mustafa Ali (c) vs Jake Something – Mustafa should find a way to win. Even though him losing and starting some kind of “Recount the 3 Count” campaign would be hilarious, I don’t see Mustafa losing just yet.
  5. Full Metal Mayhem: Franke Kazarian vs Eric Young – I just like Kaz better here. I don’t have a ton of logic beyond, I’d like to see Kaz win.
  6. Joe Hendry vs Rich Swann w/AJ Francis: Rich Swann wins because Hendry’s real beef is with Flop Dollah.
  7. Last Man Standing: Josh Alexander vs Hammerstone: I am growing tired of Josh winning every feud or small angle. He’s getting as redundant as Kento Miyahara in All Japan. So I’m on team Hammer.
  8. Tag Team Titles: The System (Eddie Edwards & Brian Myers) (c) vs Speedball Mountain (Trent Seven vs Mike Bailey) – Too early to beat the System.
  9. Knockouts World Championship: Jordynne Grace (c) vs Steph De Lander – I think Steph has more tricks up her sleeve than Jordynne is anticipating.
  10. TNA World Championship: Nic Nemeth vs Moose (c) – It is too early to beat The System, didn’t you hear me the first time?

 

Ratings:

  • X Division Championship: Jake Something vs Mustafa Ali (c): Ali retains via Dirty Pin – *** 1/4
  • Joe Hendry vs Rich Swann w/AJ Francis: Rich wins via 450 Splash – **
  • Full Metal Mayhem: Frankie Kazarian vs Eric Young: Kaz wins via Flux Capacitor – *** 1/4
  • Steve Maclin vs Mike Santana: Santana wins via Spin the Block – ** 3/4
  • TNA Tag Team Championship: The System (Eddie Edwards & Brian Myers) (c) w/ Alisha Edwards vs Speedball Mountain (Trent Seven & Mike Bailey): The System retain via Roster Cut + Boston Knee Party – *** 1/4
  • Last Man Standing: Josh Alexander vs Hammerstone: Josh wins via C4 Spike – *** 3/4
  • Knockouts World Championship: Jordynne Grace (c) vs Steph De Lander w/The Good Hands: Jordynne wins via Juggernaut Driver – ** 1/2
  • TNA World Championship: Moose (c) vs Nic Nemeth: Moose retains via Lights Out – *** 3/4

 

 

Results:

As we know, I don’t cover the Countdowns, but Rascalz lost, Spitfire won and Laredo Kid actually won! So my predictions are 1-2 coming out of the Countdown. 

X Division Championship: Jake Something vs Mustafa Ali (c)

Early goings are a lot of Jake using his size and power to his advantage, literally throwing Ali around and treating him like a dog treats a chew toy. Ali catches Jake with a few Shotgun Dropkicks but, it just stuns Jake as he levels Ali with a Lariat. Chops to the throat from Ali again, only a small respite and he tosses him to the outside. Ali runs from the big man, slides through the turnbuckles, Jake follows head first to go for a Spear, but Ali turns it into a DDT.

Jakes shoves away from Ali and tries to retreat back to the ring, Rolling Neckbreaker from Ali sends Jake powdering to the ramp and Ali follows him with another Rolling Neckbreaker. Ali lets the referee count, Jake gets his head in by 9 and Ali connects with another Neckbreaker. Ali tries a Flying Tornado DDT, but Jake puts the brakes on, shoves Ali into the ropes and Ali hits a Satellite DDT for 2. Standing Moonsault just pisses off Jake, he sits up and starts absorbing Ali’s offense. Flying Headscissors is floated through by Jake and turned into a Sitout Powerbomb and then Jake deadlifts Ali and hits Shock Therapy!!

Heading to the corner, Jake is looking for an Avalanche move but Ali slips up, Up Kicks rock Jake, and then a rough looking German Suplex drills Jake into the apron and then the Secret Service show up, throw Jake into the ring, hold him down while one distracts the referee and Ali hits the 450! 1-2-…NO Jake kicks out! Jake Warrior fires up, Ali retreats to the arms of the Secret Service and then Jake jumps and takes them all out. Ali goes for a desperation School Boy but Jake kicks out, Ali goes for a Crossbody but Jake punches his lights out. Into the Void! 1-2-FOOT ON THE ROPES!

Powerbomb set up, but Ali gouges the eyes, Jake misses the Spear and posts himself, Head and Arm Cradle from Ali with rope leverage! Ali retains!

Joe Hendry vs Rich Swann w/AJ Francis

Hendry deepfake AI edited his entire tron to have Rich and AJ Francis. It’s genius.

Swann plays around early, dodge rolls and ducking Hendry’s offense. Just being a smarmy asshat. Hendry gets his hands on him briefly, before Rich powders and then tosses Hendry into the steps and then grinds his face on the corner. Some referee distraction and cheapshots from both AJ and Rich lead to Rich’s little Kick Back move. Swann keeps control and tries to keep Hendry grounded, but he eventually powers out. AJ tries to get involved but Hendry clocks him, throws Rich and then AJ low bridges Hendry out.

AJ grabs a weapon from his friend but Shawn Merriman stops him. They jaw, and Merriman gets in the ring to challenge Francis. The referee is trying to figure out what’s going on, AJ backs down but Shawn Merriman lays out Joe Hendry! A former Charger would be a heel in Las Vegas, so its all beautiful. Rich hits the 450 Splash and wins.

It was overbooked and Francis’ female influencer friend does a split on Hendry and twerks on him or something. Like it feels like the ratchet version Hit Row. But, Shawn Merriman looked good and as we learned with DeAngelo Williams…some football players just get it. 

Full Metal Mayhem: Frankie Kazarian vs Eric Young

EY cracks the Casey Jones mask off Kaz’s face and then the bell rings. EY stays on Kaz, tries the Piledriver but Kaz powders, EY connects on the Baseball Slide and drives Kaz’s face into the barricade and then starts working him over with the ladder. Kaz starts to work his way back, rocks EY with a few punches and then hits the Slingshot DDT. Kaz goes to get the big ladder and just hucks it at EY. Scoop Slam onto the ladder, Kaz goes for the Guillotine Leg Drop and MISSES! EY moves the ladder to the corner and flings Kaz into it causing him to flip upside down. EY looks for more weapons, Kaz tries to crawl after him and EY bounces a cookie sheet and trash can lid off of his face.

Rethinking heading back into the ring, EY goes back under the ring and finds JANICE (Abyss’ 2×4 with the nails in it). EY swings and misses as it gets stuck in the buckle. Kaz tries to take advantage but he misses too and then Whips EY into the far corner, EY Flair Flops through it, walks the apron and Kaz hits a Spear through the ropes and then goes through a table! They both crawl into the ring, Kaz goes for the cover and EY kicks out. Then they start throwing punches as they slowly stand up. Brawl happens and they start fighting over a metal chain, EY gets the best of the chain fight, chokes Kaz with it, throws him off the top rope, crowns the king with a trash can and starts laying into him. Kaz is dropped with the trash can on him, EY hits the Macho Elbow! It takes a few seconds to get the can off of Kaz, so its only a 2 count.

EY tries to set up a ladder, Kaz finds a lid, smacks EY with it and hits the Killswitch on the ladder of 2! Kaz decides we need more tables, so he starts setting it up and the crown chants “we want fire”. Kaz drapes EY on the table, grabs a trash can, but EY pops up and crotches Kaz! EY looks for an Avalanche Piledriver but Kaz stops it with a Low Blow! Kaz hits the Flux Capacitor and only gets the corner of the table! EY split the hard way but he rolls on EY and wins the match!

Even if the finish was a little missed, it looks more vicious and its a damn hardcore match…so as long as EY is fine, the finish is better being ugly.

Steve Maclin vs Mike Santana

Maclin walks out with his new contract talking about how he re-signed but he wants a match. Santino Marella says he just signed another guy, and out comes Santana!

Maclin and Santana go at each other quick! Big strikes, working outside, then back in, a few fast strikes and back breakers. Early intensity is exactly what you expect from a fairly hype return and a nice re-signing of Maclin. Maclin with a Rope Run Lariat for two, a rope hung Leg Lariat follows that up and Maclin is on top of Santana not relenting.

Maclin Tree of WOE, Caught in the…NO! Santana sits up, Maclin slides through, runs back in the ring and eats a Rolling Cutter! Hip Attack into an Enzuigiri, catches Maclin on his shoulders for a quick Death Valley Driver! Santana calls for his Rolling Lariat, but a Busaiku Knee blind sides Santana! Jar-HEAD Butt for 2! Santana reverses the whip to the corner and hits a Yakuza Kick into Rolling Senton for 2! Rolling Lariat call number 2, but Maclin ducks it and hits a Michinoku Driver for 2! Back and forth for a while, KIA gets countered, rope run turns into SPIN THE BLOCK! Santana wins with his Spinning Lariat!

TNA Tag Team Championship: The System (Eddie Edwards & Brian Myers) (c) w/ Alisha Edwards vs Speedball Mountain (Trent Seven & Mike Bailey)

Eddie gets worked over early, Bailey and Trent show some good tandem work. The way The System counters that is with Lish distracting the referee and Myers with a cheap shot Thrust Kick on Trent. Eddie doesn’t need a big opening to start working someone over and drops Trent knee first into the steps, we see the beginning of isolating Trent and focusing the leg. Eddie and Myers use some quick tags to keep Trent cornered, but Eddie falls for that stupid Bop and Bang spot. Simultaneous tags, Bailey comes in hot and lays out both System members, then lights up the legal Myers with multiple kicks into a Running Shooting Star. Tope from Bailey is stopped with Eddie popping up on the other side, causing Bailey to just hit him with a Yakuza Kick. Bailey takes Myers to the top turnbuckle, Myers fights off Bailey, but Trent flies in for a Superplex! Bailey is set up on a different corner, SHOOTING STAR PRESS! Only a 2 count, but that’s a nice Power & Glory style of move.

Eddie pulls out Bailey by the foot, Myers Chop Blocks Trent and tags back in Eddie. Eddie takes the taunting big brother angle since Trent is hobbled, Trent fires, a bunch of Chops but Eddie kicks out the bad knee, Tiger Driver transitions into a Half Crab on the bad leg! Speedball tries to make the save and Myers cuts him off with a Crossface but Bailey fights out and Superkicks Myers. A series of Round Kicks into Eddie’s chest, but Eddie refuses to release the submission until Bailey hits the Flurry of Kicks into a Triangle Moonsault on Myers. Tornado Super Kick into a Dragon Suplex, but only for 2!

Trent tries to get Eddie up for a Birminghammer, but the knee gives out, clocks Bailey, Backpack Stunner + Myers Elbow for another near fall! Bailey hits the ring, the Seven Star Lariat and Ripcord Superkick! Birminghammer into Ultima Weapon, 1-2-Myers shoves Bailey onto the pinfall to break it! Myers misses a Shoulder Block in the corner, but when Bailey goes to follow up, Myers Spears him out of the air! Trent and Eddie are in the ring both exhausted, Eddie tries a chop but Trent grabs the fingers and Finger Snap! Trent goes for the Bitter End Fowsion but Myers gets involved, Roster Cut into Boston Knee Party! The System retain!

Last Man Standing: Josh Alexander vs Hammerstone

Josh goes right at Hammer at the bell, flurry of punches, Hammer turns it around and gives back a little  before Josh gets the best of things for a second, and then Hammer hits the Single Arm Spinebuster. Just haymakers for days, Josh with a German Suplex, Hammer no sells, hits a Belly to Belly Suplex, Josh no sells, a little more back and forth; one more German Suplex from Josh! Back Elbow and a strike from Hammer, he tries to charge but Josh stops him, pulls him to the apron and bounces him off the apron! Hammer is out until 7, Josh keeps control, heads up to the turnbuckle for something big but Hammer pops up and shoves Josh, sending HIM bouncing off the apron.

Getting up at 6, Hammer stays right back on him, Guerrilla Press right into the barricade! Josh gets up just to get dropped again! Match isn’t over yet, so Hammer peppers the strikes and smack talk. Josh tries to fight back but eats a Back Elbow. Hammer goes for a few more Back Elbows, but Josh grabs him into a Halfhatch Suplex and bounces Hammer off the apron again! Back up by 8, Josh just hammers right on Hammer’s legs. Hyperextension, wrapping it around a post. Setting up the Ankle Lock and taking away some of the power base is a smart attack. A few more Legs against the steel post, and then the Figure Four around the post!

Hammer retreats to a corner, grabs the head gear and busts Josh open with gear! Josh seems dizzy and Hammerstone clobbers him with forearms and the referee starts counting. Barely up at 9, wobbly legged slaps, Hammer squats him and then Sack of Shit! Hammer stops the officials count, drapes Josh on the apron and drops big Forearm Clubs right across the chest. Pins his head against the ring post and then Pump Kicks his head into the steel post! Hammer calls for the Rack, Racks Josh and Josh Alexander seems to go limp. Hammer discards him and the count starts. Josh gets up and he’s laughing. Pump Kick levels Josh while he laughs and Hammerstone is just confused. So he delays just long enough for Josh to grab the ankle and immediately go for the Ankle Lock, into a few stomps and Falling Knees. Hammer is in the Tree of Woe, Josh clubs him over and over, makes some space, and Josh goes for the Low Crossbody while Hammer is still in the Tree. Josh sells all the previous damage and Hammer is back up by 5.

Josh goes for the C4 Spike, multiple short Knee Lifts drops Hammer and before the referee can count again, Josh attacks Hammer. Josh goes to beneath the ring and pulls out the thumbtacks. Josh rocks Hammer, Hammer is draped on the top corner, Superplex attempt, blocked once, Hammer with some jabs, but back and forth as Josh leans towards the tacks. Hammerstone lifts him up… AVALANCHE NIGHTMARE PENDULUM INTO THE TACKS!! Hammer is selling falling in tacks, as the referee counts, Josh is gonna roll out the ring to take the shortcut to roll to his feet and break the count!

Hammer grabs the headgear and beats Josh with it, looks for a Nightmare Pendulum on the ramp but Josh fights through, Forearm Strike into another Halfhatch Suplex on the ramp. C4 Spike on the stage! Hammer almost gets up by 10, but not quite and loses.

While the match was good and it makes sense for Josh to win, I don’t need him in the main event. 

Knockouts World Championship: Jordynne Grace (c) vs Steph De Lander w/The Good Hands

Steph literally picks up Jordynne, drives her into the corner and talks some shit. Jordynne tries to fire through things, but its a lot of cardio. Rope Runs, Corner Charges, quick counters and just go go go. Grace hitting a Suicida is the first real move of the match. Grace tries for an apron drop, Steph blocks and then hits a TKO Stun Gunning Jordynne off the ropes. Near fall into Snake Eyes and then a Big Boot. Steph trying for a power move but Jordynne slips behint her for a Rear Naked Choke. Steph gets worn down a little, but Steph drops Grace, props her in a corner, Big Boot into a Backpack Stunner.

Jordynne grabs the ropes for dear life, uses the ropes to lift her up, fights back, tries to use the ropes to her advantage for the Slingshot Pedigree type move, but Steph throws her off and both go crashing into each other. Small power exchange that Steph gets the best of and decides to bask in the boos. Jordynne with a big knee strike and then latches the Rear Naked Choke on again! Steph slams into her a few times but Jordynne won’t get go. Steph goes out but then the Good Hands make their presence known. It gets a little sloppy at the ref bump distraction spot in the match, but Jason Hotch just puts on the referee shirt and makes a count. 1-2-LIGHTS OUT! PCO appears out of the darkness! He levels The Good Hands, as an awkwardly sexually charged interaction with SDL (but its funny), then… FUCK NO – NO GOD! Kon interferes and takes out PCO. Then Kon shoves Jordynne, Jordynne sells it to bait him int, Low Blow and then she deadlifts Kon! The Good Hands hit the ring again, go for the neck snap on Jordynne, LIGHTS OUT AGAIN!

SAMI CALLIHAN! FINALLY GOOD NEWS IN THIS MATCH! So the assumption of Lights Out being Sami, looks like it was correct. Thumbs Up, Thumbs Down, Cactus Driver ’97. Sami grabs SDL, rolls her in, eats a big strike from Jordynne, Juggernaut Driver and still overbooked to high hell! I mean Jordynne wins.

TNA World Championship: Moose (c) vs Nic Nemeth

Moose palms his face real quick and then Nemeth snaps. A few double leg take downs, full mount strikes and continuing to smack him before Moose head out. Nemeth tries to chase with a dive, but Moose catches him and Snake Eyes on the apron! Nic is getting rocks by big Chops and Boots from Moose. Nemeth ducks through the ropes and rocks Moose on the ramp. Goes for a Fame-Asser but Moose catches Nic. Nic slips the catch and then drops Moose on the ramp! They head back into the ring, Nic is setting up a Sweet Chin Music, but Lish gets involved and then Brian Myers, so the referee kicks them all out. A good 30 seconds are spent on kicking out Eddie, Lish and Myers. Nemeth catches Moose with a Superkick but only a 2 count!

Rear Naked Choke from Nemeth, Moose tries to slam into Nic a few times but he won’t let go! He’s tenacious like Minoru Suzuki. Moose keeps trying to slam him to the corners and Nic won’t let go still! Moose climbs a corner, with some slips to sell the locked in Rear Naked Choke, then an Avalanche Trust Fall finally breaks the submission! Moose sets up the stairs a certain way, takes Nic into the crowd, goes for some kind of Jacknife but Nic counters! Doubles over Moose, Fame Asser off the ramp! They barely make the 10 count, Moose retreats into a corner slowly, Nemeth stalks, Stinger Splash! Now the 10 Count Flashing Elbows! One more Kairi Sane style Elbow for only 2!

Nemeth tries a Superkick, Moose catches, Headbutt, Nemeth connects with a boot, Moose charges, Nemeth kicks off, tries a Dive, but Moose hits GO TO HELL for 2! Moose goes for Lights Out, and there’s a hell of a nice sequence with both men countering finsihes and signatures, but through all the float overs Moose catches Nic and lands a Jacknife Powerbomb. Moose goes for another Jacknife on the ramp, Nic blocks and tries to pull off the Frankensteiner but Moose stops it. Jacknife on the ramp and knocks the lens out of a camera! 10 Count happens, Nemeth gets in at 9.5 and Moose tries to quickly catch him, but the sequence doesn’t work. Moose went for the Moonsault/Superkick Spot, but he was short so Nemeth had to audible. Fighting Spirit spot, Moose gets a head of steam, eats a Superkick, Nemeth eats a Pump Kick, big haymakers, Nemeth turns Moose inside out with a Lariat, Fame ASSer from Nemeth for a 2.5. Moose looks glassy eyed and rocked, a few kicks into a Spear from Nic but only 2 again! Nemeth tunes up the band, Moose falls to a knee before the kick lands, Nemeth tries to readjust but Moose ducks and hits the ropes, as Nic turns he eats the Lights Out. Moose retains!

OKAY speaking of Lights Out it may not have been Sami because BROKEN MATT HARDY appears and attacks Moose! Twist of Fate leaves him laying. 

 

Overall Score: 6.5/10

The match quality was fairly mediocre given the fact it was a PPV that’s been promoted for a while, on a very easy to remember unofficial holiday. Now I liked all the debuts/returns we got. Mike Santana, Broken Matt, Sami Callihan, all generally good stuff. The whole show does lose points though just because they’re still trying with Kon. Also I got like 4 matches wrong?

I suppose the storyline implications have some meat left on them since Under Siege is fairly soon. The returns are great news for a roster that was starting to feel small and I’m really curious where we go with Jordynne as Knockouts Champion now. So pretty decent show all things considered if work rate isn’t your main determining factor.


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 4.18.2024

Motor City Machine Guns either go out on their backs, or head to Rebellion as champs! Lets see how they finish their current run in TNA!

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No burying the lead here! The Main Event is The System versus Motor City Machine Guns, and it’s the Go Home episode before Rebellion! So we’re guaranteed a damn good tag match, and we should get either new wrinkles, or ways to keep the storylines cooking going into the Pay-per-View.

With all the rumors and innuendo about the Guns being on their way out, I think we all assume that MCMG is losing, but my inner fanboy is still excited.

Ratings:

  • Little Guido w/New FBI vs Hammerstone: Hammerstone wins via Torture Rack – SQUASH
  • LSG vs Joe Hendry: Hendry wins via Standing Ovation – SQUASH
  • Mustafa Ali & GYV vs Cody Deaner, Jake Something & Rhyno: Ali wins via 450 Splash – ** 3/4
  • Rosemary w/Havok vs Jody Threat w/Dani Luna: Rosemary wins via Spear – ***
  • Motor City Machine Guns (Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley) vs The System (Eddie Edwards & Brian Myers) w/Alisha Edwards: System wins via Roster Cut + Knee Party – *** 1/4

 

Results:

So we kick off the match with Josh coming out to commentary again to watch Hammerstone’s match. They really need a new way to try and keep heat without reusing the same tired gimmick of “ring side seat” to a Squash match.

Little Guido w/New FBI vs Hammerstone

Guido tries to shoot the half, but Hammerstone shrugs him off, lifts him like a child and runs him into a corner, few short shots and then just tosses him across the ring. Hammer gets a little distracted talking smack to Josh and eats a foot, but then tosses Guido with the ole Sack of Shit move and keeps working over Guido.

Hammer shoves Clayton, and provokes him to push him back right in front of the referee. She ejects them, Guido tries to take advantage but when he goes for the pinfall Hammer kicks out immediately and presses Guido out of thing through the ropes. Continues to dog walk Guido, puts the head gear on the ECW Original and then Torture Racks him while staring directly at Josh, and of course picks up the submission victory.

LSG vs Joe Hendry

Hendry cuts a little promo, mentioning the Fat Uncle Phil joke…something about shopping at the TOP Dollar Store. Solid mic work.

LSG is a damn good local talent, he’s been seen in ROH and AEW in the past (perhaps others, but that’s what comes to mind immediately for me), but we all know this is an enhancement match. A few nice chain wrestling spots early, but Hendry uses his power to stop the smaller wrestler, Sack of Shit into Standing Ovation and the match is over quickly.

Mustafa Ali & GYV vs Cody Deaner, Jake Something & Rhyno

Well okay, having Deaner ask the crowd if they wanted a 3v2 or their third member…RHYNO…is pretty much a no brainer in Philly. But at least the gimmick isn’t quite as cringe as I expected.

Jake starts with Zack Gibson and throws him around. Jake goes for the tag and Deaner asks the crowd who Jake should tag, and the crowd picks Rhyno. Rhyno Whips Gibson into a corner, Drake actually softens the impact, allowing Gibson to fire back, tag out, but Rhyno levels both GYV members and then even knocks Ali off the apron. Rhyno tries to call to the crowd to tag in Deaner and that goes over like a fart in church. He tags him in anyway, and the crowd is kinda dead and doing whatever it wants after the obvious ECW chants when Rhyno tagged in.

GYV take a couple lumps but they of course start to work over Deaner and capture some momentum. Solid tandem work from GYV, they cut off Deaner from making a tag and goad Jake a little to cause the ref to block off the babyfaces so the heels can take a few shortcuts. Cody eventually makes the tag to Rhyno, hot tag, he tries to set up the Gore but the GYV manage to stop him in his tracks and hit an Enzuigiri to daze the Man Beast, he falls to his corner and Jake tags himself in. Jake literally runs them all over, tags in Cody and Launches him from the Top Rope into Zack Gibson. Ali makes the save and Jake tries to get his hands on Ali, but the GYV keep throwing themselves at him, literally. The triple team finally gets the best of Jake, they hit 3 Dives and then post Jake, so they gather around Cody like hyenas.

They forgot about Rhyno, he’s set up for a Gore, he Gores Drake, Gibson and Ali take out Rhyno, but then Cody starts to fight back. Ali stops Deaner’s offense with an Avalanche Sunset Bomb, then hits his 450 Splash. Jake barely misses being able to break up the pin.

Rosemary w/Havok vs Jody Threat w/Dani Luna

Jody tries to start quickly with Shoulder Tackles, Lariats and Scoop Slams, and it does seem somewhat effective. Rosemary is having trouble finding offense against the intensity, but she keeps kicking out. Shotgun Dropkick finally gives Rosemary an opening, she goes into full mount and rains down strikes. Rosemary shoves Jody into a corner and Bites her in the corner. Jody tries to fight out, they go across and Rosemary catches her with the legs and puts her in the Upside Down. Splash in the corner from Rosemary, Exploder Suplex and Jody is eating a lot of offense.

Rosemary looks like she’s caught after she gets tripped up into the ropes and Jody goes for her Rope Knee into the German, but Rosemary dodges. Rosemary hits her own suplex and pulls out a beautiful Last Chancery! I haven’t seen her do that in a long time. Jody manages to fight to the ropes, Rosemary is a little slow to capitalize and eats a Pump Kick. Rosemary goes flying into the ropes, Jody hits the Double Knees into the German this time for 2, and they trade a few haymakers after that. Jody folds Rosemary with a low Lariat, Zombie rise spot a few times, Jody goes for a pinfall and Rosemary kicks out.

Havok jumps up on the apron, Dani meets her and they decide to step down, but the distraction was enough. Jody turns around and eats a Spear. Rosemary wins!

Motor City Machine Guns (Chris Sabin & Alex Shelley) vs The System (Eddie Edwards & Brian Myers) w/Alisha Edwards

Eddie and Shelley start off, and its a very simple slow start. Mostly an early stalemate, the typical Japanese style the TNA seem to love to employ. Starters tag out, but then Shelley with the blind tag, Sabin Baseball Slides out, picks Eddie’s ankle and sends his face bouncing off the apron, while Shelley sneaks up being Myers and they hit a tandem move before we cut to commercial. Off of the commercial it looks like Eddie and Myers regained control. But a nice Jawbreaker from Shelley sends Eddie falling back into the MCMG corner. Dragon Screws to both legs from Sabin and Shelley, and we get the Dragon Screw dissection spot for the Guns.

Myers gets sick of things, tries to get involved, but Simultaneous Figure Fours from the MCMG makes The System look silly. Alisha does the classic “push the rope forward” gimmick to assist Eddie in breaking the hold. She keeps chirping at Shelley until she finally grabs his foot. Shelley doesn’t take kindly, tries to grab her by the hair but she gets away, Shelley eats a strike and falls back to the ropes so Lish can just throttle him with the rope, Sabin walks over and acts like he’s going to PK her and the look of disgust on her face is hilarious, like “how dare he threaten to kick her”. Would I be mad is Masha decides to team with Lish and they win the Knockouts Tag titles? No, because the Knockouts Tags are trash. But I still prefer Lish as valet/manager.

Shelley starts fighting back after another commercial break, Eddie tries to cut him off, but Sabin clocks Eddie and Shelley manages to make the tag and Sabin comes in. Lights up both System members, Kick off Tornado DDT, into a Running Gamengiri. Eddie tries to counter but Shelley assists, tandem strikes, Double Baseball Slide into the classic MCMG spot 5 Hole Dive! Keeping up with the classics Shelley stacks the System members on each other and hit the Missile Dropkick/Flatliner spot. As the Guns are rolling, Sabin accidentally catches Sabin with his foot and The System take control! They hit their pieces of the System Overload spot, but Sabin kicks out. Roster Cut attempt from Myers, but Shelley is back. High Speed Dirt, Machine Gun Sandwich, but Lish grabs Shelley’s foot when they’re setting up Skull and Bones. Shelley gets dropped on the turnbuckle and thrown out, Sabin eats the Roster Cut followed up with Boston Knee Party and System retains!

Its a little weird to have had the two commercial cuts and the fact there’s still Nic Nemeth to follow. So it feels a little flat, I hope this wasn’t their swan song match, because it was nice to see some classic spots, but it was entirely too abbreviated. 

Nemeth comes out, goes into the crowd and finds a kid with a kendo stick and borrows a beer from someone, so he does a bit of a Sandman tribute. Moose cuts off his promo basically immediately. He throws out the “can’t beat the system” line again, and Nic rolls with the punches well. Moose uses a few cute analogies about Nic having a failure laden past, but Nemeth bites back and its really damn good. He says he can see it in Moose’s eyes that he thinks he’s getting in the ring with Dolph Ziggler, but no, there is no more old Dolph Ziggler, just the new Nic Nemeth. And Moose’s cool seems to be slightly shaken after those words. Good promo.

Overall Score: 6.5/10

So this was okay, if it didn’t end as strongly as it did, I would’ve rated this much lower. Two squash matches in the beginning, reusing the Josh comes out to the announce table to watch trope is boring, hell even Clayton’s shove to Hammerstone was super lame looking. The Deaner match was luke warm at best, but things picked up around the Rosemary match.

Lets also not overlook the segments with ASH & Xia, Jonathan Gresham’s whole deal and EY having to return to the violence/sickness/world class maniac, whatever you want to call it, were all great building blocks. This definitely wasn’t what I would call a strong Go Home, but it didn’t hurt things for Rebellion. The whole injury of Cardona was addressed, which honestly sounded weird since Jordynne basically said she was expecting them to have a backup plan so she has a backup plan. I don’t really like how that video package came across.

But who knows, all I know is, this wasn’t an awful episode, it just wasn’t really strong either.  Here’s to hoping Rebellion Saturday is still strong.


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