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Andrew’s Impact Wrestling Ratings & Analysis 8/16/2019

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Tessa teams with Tommy Dreamer to take on Sami Callihan and Dave Crist! Does Sami keep the upper hand?

Aside from the Tessa versus oVe match, we also get to see more of the Moose and Fallah Bahh story.

Will Eddie Edwards murder Ace Austin? Will Alisha get better acting skills? Why is the Boston accent so awful?

Before you answer those questions, get some Arby’s, calm down and watch the show.

Ratings:

  • Moose vs Fallah Bahh: Moose wins via Spear – **
  • Jordynne Grace & Alexia Nicole vs Madison Rayne & Kiera Hogan: Madison wins via CrossRayne – ** 1/2
  • The Rascalz vs RVD, Willie Mack & Rich Swann: Swann wins via Phoenix Splash – ***
  • Desi Hit Squad vs The Deaners: Deaners win via Time to Giver – ** 1/2
  • Tessa Blanchard & Tommy Dreamer vs Sami Callihan & Dave Crist: Blanchard wins via Magnum w/Kendo Stick – *** 1/4 

 

Analysis:

Moose vs Fallah Bahh – This whole thing has been bubbling for a couple weeks since Moose went on a tirade about deserving a shot. As for a match, it was okay. Some hard striking and a lot of resiliency from Fallah to try and check the ego of Mr. Impact Wrestling. Sadly Moose counters the BAHHnzai Drop and hits the Spear for the pinfall and more bragging rights.

Dreamer gives one of his impassioned feel good promos that are becoming a little cliche, but damned if he ain’t good at them:

We get a quick video of Su Yung and her Undead Bridesmaids pouring rose pedals on a casket with Havok on it. Also, Su Yung is muttering in what could be Japanese, could be gibberish, could be Klingon…not really sure, but neat.

Jordynne Grace & Alexia Nicole vs Madison Rayne & Kiera Hogan – Classic set up of the face coming in to save a face in peril, and then they decide to team up for vengeance. Not a bad match at all, Kiera and Madison use heel tactics to keep Alexia in the ring for like 90% of the match. So it was fun watching the heel shenanigans, but it was very one sided. Even when Jordynne hit the hot tag, it didn’t last very long and she tried to give Alexia a big victory spot, but Alexia hit the Flying Crossbody on Kiera, who wasn’t the legal person. So Jordynne and Kiera roll out and then Madison takes advantage of the rookie.

-Lights go out and Rosemary intercepts the continued heel beat down-

ImpactPlus Flashback Moment: Chris Sabin vs Juventud Gurrera, Super X Cup Finals,  September 3, 2003

Alisha and Ace have a backstage moment with Ace trying to gain sympathy cause Eddie Edwards is crazy. Alisha is very difficult to watch. Poor acting, Boston accent, just…ugh…we’ve all seen Ted. We know that accent sucks.

Back to the awful crap with Ace and Alisha…ugh.

Okay Bravo and Taya are pretty damn funny. It’s campy, but it’s amusing.

The Rascalz vs RVD, Willie Mack & Rich Swann – The match starts off with each of the Rascalz marking out while squaring off with RVD. Rascalz start to make a small comeback, but then it boils down to nearly a tornado tag match. Nice interceptions and momentum changes between both squads. Finish sees Wentz and Swann square off for a while, Swann gets the best of Wentz, RVD hits a 5 Star Frog Splash, followed by the Phoenix Splash. Fun match.

Desi Hit Squad vs The Deaners – So this match got set up last week. Winner basically makes the loser into personal servants or helpers in their world. As for the what went on, I mean, both teams are heavily gimmick based. Desi Hit Squad are solid heel wrestlers and The Deaners are good dumb country boys. The babyface team goes over in the match and now we’ll get to see the spoiled brats work on a farm.

Tessa Blanchard & Tommy Dreamer vs Sami Callihan & Dave Crist – Tessa and Tommy start off fast, a bunch of brawling, Dreamer teaches Tessa how to drink a beer and then spit it in someone’s face. From thereon we had a chaotic but fun match. It felt like it was mostly tornado since Kid Ref had no real control, capped off by Sami wiping him out with an Elbow Drop. Dave Crist trying to low blow Tessa was pretty funny. New ref showed up but tended to Kid Ref so there were a few more unsupervised minutes. Tessa and Tommy get the best of oVe, and everyone goes home happy with Tessa looking ready to tear Sami’s head off.

 

Overall Score: 6.5/10

Numerous stories kept moving forward, even though the Ace Austin and Alisha Edwards one is god awful. Rosemary’s inclusion in the main angle with Madison and Kiera’s Frenemies clique is a nice wrinkle. Desi Hit Squad and The Deaners will most likely be funny, and Tessa against oVe continues to build more heat.

Nothing jumped off the page as fantastic, but a lot of solid work in ring and in videos made this an easy watch. Plus once Ethan Page got on Twitch, we saw some great content. Solid show.

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