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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News! (8/15/20)

Another major event announcement!

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Hyrule Puro-Resu again gathers media for a press conference!

Not only is the King of Hyrule, Nicolas Foolyere, on stage, but so are Humpback Hook Halibut and Starfish McMaguro! King Nicolas starts by thanking everyone for coming, and is very excited for today’s announcements. But Halibut takes it from here. “To transition into the Fall season, Hyrule Pro-Wrestling will have two major events!” The media is already buzzing with that statement! “September 12th and 19th, HPW goes to Gerudo Canyon to hold a special tournament to name new #1 contenders to the HPW Trios Championships.” The first round will be two semifinals matches featuring four trios, and that will leave the winners to face off on 9/19. The winners will then move on to face Forged By Violence in the October event that is still in the works. And biggest of all, this tournament will feature co-ed wrestling! Trios can be made of males and females!

Starfish says she is as excited for that news as the fans are. She also announces that one major match up in the short tournament is already decided. The former champions, The Dark Forces’ Volga, ReDead and Gibdo will take on King Baron Bulblin’s squires, the Bulblin Triplets. Both teams are being given their second chances at these titles, so that will be an exciting first round match. The second match up will be determined in the coming days, as there are only so many trios currently in HPW. There will be a deadline for trios to form and put their names in the running for which two teams will be in the second opening round match.

“Outside of these tournament matches, there will be a special exhibition trios match featuring the HPW Triforce, Goddess and Death Mount- I’m sorry, Exquisite Champions. Ganondorf Dragmire, Cia and Ghirahim Mazokucho will take on the team of Zelda, Midna and… Igos du Ikana.” Zelda is the #1 contender to the new HPW Triforce Champion, Ganondorf, while both Midna and Igos du Ikana lost their matches in controversial fashion. On that note, Midna and Igos will each be given rematches for those titles for the 9/19 event. The exhibition trios match will be an “exceptional preview” of the three respective title matches.

And now, to address this news in person, the HPW champions and their challengers! Media applauds as Ganondorf leads Cia and Ghirahim, as well as The Dark Forces, in from stage right while Zelda, Midna and Igos walk in from stage left. While Ganondorf and Igos wear nice, crisp suits and while Cia and Zelda wear dresses (Zelda’s being less revealing than Cia’s), Ghirahim wears the same outfit that acts as his ring gear and Midna still has her Fused Shadow crown. Starfish thanks them all for being here, and opens things up to questions from the press.

 

“What is everyone’s reactions to this Trios match?”

Ghirahim says it’s ridiculous that she and the other champions have to do this. Where was the original Triforce Champion when he wasn’t putting the title up on the line? Why didn’t he have matches along with everyone else? Starfish admits to the oversight, but that and this are two different situations. Ghirahim blatantly violated the rules of his title match with that low blow, so Igos deserves another chance. And that same line of thinking is why Midna deserves a rematch for the HPW Goddess Championship when Cia had Wizzro get involved in that title match. And before Cia protests, Starfish points out that if Cia thinks Midna does not deserve another chance, then perhaps Volga and team can be removed from the trios tournament. Cia has to stifle what she wanted to say and lets others speak.

Ganondorf actually welcomes this. A trios match like this allows him to not only show Zelda is not going to defeat him for the Triforce Championship, but can show that Igos and Midna shouldn’t even be considered contenders. Three birds with one stone, as it were! Zelda actually likes that logic. Because when Ganondorf’s team loses, it’ll prove Zelda, Midna and Igos can all defeat him, and that they’re all contenders! Midna seconds that, and says, “After I shred Cia to bits, I can still go after the Triforce Championship now that it’s open gender!” Midna has her sinister smirk that worries Zelda.

Igos ignores Midna to say he mostly wanted a “revenge match,” and that the title is a bonus. Ghirahim could’ve used Champion’s Advantage any number of ways, but he chose the worst possible way to do it. Now Igos will not just end his reign, but end Ghirahim’s HPW career. Igos will save time and wish Ghirahim well on his future endeavors ahead of time. Ghirahim asks Igos to speak up, his voice “sounds a little squeaky.” Igos seethes while Ganondorf and Cia laugh lightly. HPW management agrees to dismiss their champions and challengers before things get any tenser. Ghirahim runs his hands through his hair one more time before the many wrestlers exit the way they entered. Halibut thanks the media for coming, the fans for watching, and hopes to see everyone in the Gerudo Canyon.


My Thoughts:

There I go giving myself a lot more to do for this. But what better way to get better at writing Six Man Tag matches than to write more Six Man Tag matches? Four matches between the short tournament’s three and the special exhibition, I hope I can make those all very impressive to really build the HPW Trios Division. Also I should get used to calling them Trios matches because obviously it’s not always going to be six men with the growing co-ed aspect.

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