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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News! (8/15/20)

Another major event announcement!

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Hyrule Puro-Resu again gathers media for a press conference!

Not only is the King of Hyrule, Nicolas Foolyere, on stage, but so are Humpback Hook Halibut and Starfish McMaguro! King Nicolas starts by thanking everyone for coming, and is very excited for today’s announcements. But Halibut takes it from here. “To transition into the Fall season, Hyrule Pro-Wrestling will have two major events!” The media is already buzzing with that statement! “September 12th and 19th, HPW goes to Gerudo Canyon to hold a special tournament to name new #1 contenders to the HPW Trios Championships.” The first round will be two semifinals matches featuring four trios, and that will leave the winners to face off on 9/19. The winners will then move on to face Forged By Violence in the October event that is still in the works. And biggest of all, this tournament will feature co-ed wrestling! Trios can be made of males and females!

Starfish says she is as excited for that news as the fans are. She also announces that one major match up in the short tournament is already decided. The former champions, The Dark Forces’ Volga, ReDead and Gibdo will take on King Baron Bulblin’s squires, the Bulblin Triplets. Both teams are being given their second chances at these titles, so that will be an exciting first round match. The second match up will be determined in the coming days, as there are only so many trios currently in HPW. There will be a deadline for trios to form and put their names in the running for which two teams will be in the second opening round match.

“Outside of these tournament matches, there will be a special exhibition trios match featuring the HPW Triforce, Goddess and Death Mount- I’m sorry, Exquisite Champions. Ganondorf Dragmire, Cia and Ghirahim Mazokucho will take on the team of Zelda, Midna and… Igos du Ikana.” Zelda is the #1 contender to the new HPW Triforce Champion, Ganondorf, while both Midna and Igos du Ikana lost their matches in controversial fashion. On that note, Midna and Igos will each be given rematches for those titles for the 9/19 event. The exhibition trios match will be an “exceptional preview” of the three respective title matches.

And now, to address this news in person, the HPW champions and their challengers! Media applauds as Ganondorf leads Cia and Ghirahim, as well as The Dark Forces, in from stage right while Zelda, Midna and Igos walk in from stage left. While Ganondorf and Igos wear nice, crisp suits and while Cia and Zelda wear dresses (Zelda’s being less revealing than Cia’s), Ghirahim wears the same outfit that acts as his ring gear and Midna still has her Fused Shadow crown. Starfish thanks them all for being here, and opens things up to questions from the press.

 

“What is everyone’s reactions to this Trios match?”

Ghirahim says it’s ridiculous that she and the other champions have to do this. Where was the original Triforce Champion when he wasn’t putting the title up on the line? Why didn’t he have matches along with everyone else? Starfish admits to the oversight, but that and this are two different situations. Ghirahim blatantly violated the rules of his title match with that low blow, so Igos deserves another chance. And that same line of thinking is why Midna deserves a rematch for the HPW Goddess Championship when Cia had Wizzro get involved in that title match. And before Cia protests, Starfish points out that if Cia thinks Midna does not deserve another chance, then perhaps Volga and team can be removed from the trios tournament. Cia has to stifle what she wanted to say and lets others speak.

Ganondorf actually welcomes this. A trios match like this allows him to not only show Zelda is not going to defeat him for the Triforce Championship, but can show that Igos and Midna shouldn’t even be considered contenders. Three birds with one stone, as it were! Zelda actually likes that logic. Because when Ganondorf’s team loses, it’ll prove Zelda, Midna and Igos can all defeat him, and that they’re all contenders! Midna seconds that, and says, “After I shred Cia to bits, I can still go after the Triforce Championship now that it’s open gender!” Midna has her sinister smirk that worries Zelda.

Igos ignores Midna to say he mostly wanted a “revenge match,” and that the title is a bonus. Ghirahim could’ve used Champion’s Advantage any number of ways, but he chose the worst possible way to do it. Now Igos will not just end his reign, but end Ghirahim’s HPW career. Igos will save time and wish Ghirahim well on his future endeavors ahead of time. Ghirahim asks Igos to speak up, his voice “sounds a little squeaky.” Igos seethes while Ganondorf and Cia laugh lightly. HPW management agrees to dismiss their champions and challengers before things get any tenser. Ghirahim runs his hands through his hair one more time before the many wrestlers exit the way they entered. Halibut thanks the media for coming, the fans for watching, and hopes to see everyone in the Gerudo Canyon.


My Thoughts:

There I go giving myself a lot more to do for this. But what better way to get better at writing Six Man Tag matches than to write more Six Man Tag matches? Four matches between the short tournament’s three and the special exhibition, I hope I can make those all very impressive to really build the HPW Trios Division. Also I should get used to calling them Trios matches because obviously it’s not always going to be six men with the growing co-ed aspect.


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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (5/1/24)

The Gerudo Sisterhood is (not) fine.

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Mayday! Mayday!

The Triforce Anniversary did not go their way, and now The Gerudo Sisterhood sits down to talk it out. Will things (not) be okay again?

 

The Gerudo Sisterhood meet up.

In Gerudo Town, Riju sits in the throne room, Buliara by her side. Aveil, Nabooru and Urbosa arrive together. Riju asks where Tali and Shabonne are, and Aveil says she has no idea. Nabooru and Urbosa also don’t know, no one’s heard from either all month. Did she go back to sand seal racing? Nabooru checked around the track, checked the Great Dunes, no one there had seen her, either. Is Tali feeling that guilty about the spear? Everyone watched the tape back, it was by accident, she has nothing to feel bad about.

The group argues about that a bit. Tali went out there when she wasn’t supposed to. And even if it was an accident, she should still apologize, shouldn’t she? That’s a good point. Well, for now, they’ll just have to wait until Tali comes to them. For now, everyone needs to turn their attention to what’s coming: ThunderStruck.

The Gerudo Sisterhood double check the match card.

An Open Challenge for the Death Mountain Championship starts things off. Nabooru and Aveil tried to get that spot, but it seems someone already called their shot. Who do they think it was? Urbosa says, “Does it really matter? The Sisterhood will be right on the heels of the winner either way.” The others are all for that. Then The Dark Forces seem to be making moves. Cia has Ganon by her side, but who will Ruto have? Between Fin Balure and Bad Croc Scaly, she’s got strong choices, and Arrow Club could even parlay this tag match into a shot at the Termina Championship.

How’d Arrow Club figure out how to avoid Blood & Thunder this year? That’s anyone’s guess, but watching the UnderWorld Order battle it out with the rest of the Dark Forces will be just as much fun for the Sisterhood as it will be for the HPW Trios Champs. Kevin Gibdo, Volga, Zant and Wizzro aren’t exactly the friendliest bunch, but hopefully they give ReDead, Scaldera, Gomess & Death Sword the beating they deserve for all their underhanded moves. And it’d keep them from getting another chance at the HPW Trios titles at that.

The sore spot is the Triforce World Championship match. Yunobo has his shot at the title, and again Tali’s involvement in the Triple Threat cost the Sisterhood. But Link’s a three-time HPW Triforce Champion for a reason. For one, he won the Hyrule Warriors match, and he won the Eventide Challenge. Buliara points out that the other reason is that he lost the title along the way. If things come in threes, then will he lose a third time? Personally, Riju hopes not. She only survived that Beat the Clock Challenge against Link, and wants to settle things in a proper match. That’s also something the Sisterhood can get behind.

There’s thunder in the distance and they all look out the window to see a storm rolling across the desert. Thundra Plateau awaits, but who will rumble their way to victory?


My Thoughts:

Hooray for a hype article! Just imagine this as a really cool vignette video you’d see a major company put out. Also, I did need to keep the story of the Gerudo Sisterhood going, don’t want that slipping through the cracks. I’m feeling some intrigue as we move deeper into the Spring, this should be fun.


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Hockey Talk- Power Players [043024]

Hockey Talk reviews the action from the first round of the 2024 NHL Playoffs and looks forward to some intriguing matchups looming in the second round.

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On this week’s edition of Hockey Talk, the guys take a look at the first round of the 2024 NHL Playoffs. The best teams and highest seeds flexed their muscle during the opening round of the playoffs. Out East, it was Chalk City as the Rangers, Hurricanes, Bruins, and Panthers took firm control of their respective series. The West, on the other hand, was far less certain as most of those series were shaping up to be tough, hard-fought, battles to the very end. Which teams impressed the guys the most and which likely second round series are they most excited about? Tune in and find out!

Today’s hosts: Dave Ungar (@AttitudeAgg) and Patrick O’Dowd (@WrestlngRealist)

  • 2024 NHL 1st Round Playoff Recap
  • The East goes according to form
  • The West is wild

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