Entertainment
Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (11/8/20)
November’s event is set!
HPW has a special announcement!
With the year ending in HyruleMania, HPW is paving the road to their biggest event yet! November will be one final stop before what HPW is already calling a #CelebrationofGreatness!
Instead of having another press conference, HPW management has recorded a video message.
Starfish McMaguro says hello and introduces herself before saying, “I am proud to announce that Hyrule Pro-Wrestling has a location for our next monthly event. On Saturday, November 28th, HPW will literally climb to new heights as we go to the Biron Snowshelf in the Hebra mountain range.”

“And though Hebra is very cold, even during the summer months, we promise to heat things up with this event.” While the Triforce Championship match up has been set with a rematch from Treasure Island, Starfish promises we will know the match-ups for the Goddess, Trios and newly instated Termina Championships by the end of the night.
Firstly, after the confrontation and challenges issued by both the “Doom Bringers,” Doomknocker, Darkhammer and Gooma, and “The Studly Guys,” Tingle, Skull Kid and Groose, the two teams will face off in a #1 contender’s match for the HPW Trios titles. Both teams are new to HPW, but the champions, Forged By Violence, were part of the discussion and were more than happy to face “Iron Knuckle’s old friends.” To be fair to Groose and his team, they are being given a chance to prove themselves, as they made the challenge first.
Then, because Igos du Ikana was the one to call HPW, there will be a contender’s match. “But it won’t just be a simple one-on-one match. It will be a Triple Threat!” And HPW has already made a decision, basing things on the performance in the Hyrule Warriors match as well as previous HPW records, the three contenders will be… The Zora Rock ‘n’ Rolla, Fin Balure! The Burning Berserker, Volga! And the Gleaming Yellow Light, Osphala! Balure was the 13th entrant, a contender in the Treasure Island Eventide Challenge, and has done well overall. Volga has been HPW Trios Champion and has had impressive showings in battle royals. Osphala may have been the 31st entrant, but he held his own against Gold Lynel on his first night back in the ring, and had an amazing 1v1 showing against Link.
“And lastly, the HPW Goddess Championship.” But wait, something’s going on with the video.

Midna is taking over! She has a big smile as she waves and says hi. She apologizes to Starfish but she felt it’d be best if THE HPW Goddess Champion introduced her contenders, that she had a hand in picking. Midna puts on a pair of rather studious glasses and brings out a paper. “Ahem… Firstly, because I’ve always looked up to her for her energy and charisma and acrobatic style, The Great Fairy. Second, because I’ve always looked up to her for her strength, her toughness and her great hair, Nabooru. Thirdly, and in relation to strength, though she had a tough time on Eventide Island, it’ll be much more fair… Fairer? Fairer to her in Hebra, Ashei!”
Now, Midna knows that’s three for a Triple Threat, and that’s great already. But Midna wants to really know her contender of HyruleMania is going to be the best possible opponent. And to make up for not having her dream of Triforce Champion VS Goddess Champion Winner Takes All, Midna wants to give Zelda one more chance to earn a shot at this title. Cia cheated her before Treasure Island, and then Zelda shifted to the Triforce title, so Midna wants to see if Zelda can win her way to another shot. “If not now, it’ll probably be a long, long time before she gets another one. Okay, see everyone in Hebra~!” Midna waves bye then gives the video back to Starfish.
Starfish is not happy. But she takes a deep breath and calms down. “Thank you, Midna, for sharing that news.” Starfish confirms, it will be a Fatal 4 Way #1 contender’s match of Great Fairy, Nabooru, Ashei and Zelda. And Starfish does want to repeat Midna’s note about Zelda. If Zelda doesn’t win this contender’s match, even with her win-loss record, she will essentially have to start over, earning her way back up the rankings from the bottom. “As impressive as she has been, even in defeat, losses are still losses. Zelda lost in the Triforce Championship Triple Threat in April, lost to Cia in a contender’s match, and lost to Ganondorf one-on-one for the title at Clash of Fates.” If Zelda can’t win “the big one,” then she will have to move aside and allow others to move up and have their opportunities. With that, Starfish thanks us for tuning in, and hopes to see us at Biron Snowshelf.
My Thoughts:
Going to a snowy region in the Fall, almost Winter? That’s not an awful idea at all for the wrestlers! But obviously what does it matter? This is truly 100% fictional. Hopefully I’m not telegraphing too much, but then again, that can happen with any kind of storytelling and especially in pro-wrestling. But this is going to be a lot of fun, and one big push towards HyruleMania’s own epic card.
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PROWRESTLINGTEES.COM/TheChairshot – Makes a GREAT GIFT!!!
About Bandwagon Nerds
Join Patrick O’Dowd, David Ungar, PC Tunney, Rey Cash, and DPP as they keep everyone up on all things nerd and maybe add some new nerds along the way. It’s the Bandwagon Nerds Podcast!

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MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds (entertainment & popular culture)
TUESDAY - 4 Corners Podcast (sports)
WEDNESDAY - The Greg DeMarco Show (wrestling)
THURSDAY - Nefarious Means
FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)
SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast
SUNDAY - 30 Mindless Minutes
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