Entertainment
Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (12/12/20)
Late night at Ghirahim’s!
Who is outside Ghirahim’s house? Who who who who?
The Living Blade is getting ready to retire Rauru, but he needs a good night sleep. And for some reason, that isn’t happening. What’s going on outside?
There’s something making noise outside Ghirahim’s bedroom.
Ghirahim turns on a light and angrily goes to the window. He’s right up against the window as he peers out into the night. There’s something on the branch of a tree bare of leaves. “The hell is that…?” It turns its head to look back at Ghirahim. And then it hoots! It’s an owl! A giant owl! “The hell is an owl doing in my backyard? There’s nothing around for it to hunt! Wait. Wait…! That son of a b*tch!”
Ghirahim throws his window open and shouts at the owl! “Rauru, you old turkey, I know that’s you!” “Who.” Don’t play dumb, Rauru, Ghirahim sees through your disguise! “There’s no way there’s an owl as big and fat as you are!” “Who.” You! Rauru, the “Wise Old Owl who’s more like a big jackass keeping me up late!”
A neighbor yells at Ghirahim to quiet down but Ghirahim shouts back, “You shut up! There’s a giant owl in my backyard, that’s actually a guy whose too afraid I’m gonna beat his ass, so he’s trying to keep me up this late with his stupid hoot-hooting!” The neighbor says that’s clearly just an owl. “What?! Are you blind?! It’s as big as my couch, it’s clearly Rauru!” “Who?” “Oh don’t you start with that!”
Ghirahim ignores his neighbor to glare at the owl that may or may not be Rauru in disguise. “Listen up, Rauru. Or if you really aren’t Rauru, then you tell him this for me! Rauru isn’t going to retire just because I beat him, 1-2-3, or because I make him submit, tap, pass out, whatever. Rauru is gonna retire because I break his bones! A leg, an arm, ribs, it doesn’t matter! When this year is through, so is Rauru!” Ghirahim then closes his window, turns off the lights and goes back to bed. Will the #CelebrationofGreatness be the Wise Old Owl’s swan song?
My Thoughts:
I immediately had this idea after writing the November event article so I had to make this part of the HyruleMania build. Ghirahim starts to get some #TheJohnnyGarganoWay Johnny Gargano qualities in his promo, but that’s just because Gargano is so good at being a flippant, short-tempered Heel. If HPW was any more parody than it already is, I think this character would just be Johnny Ghirahim.
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