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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (12/29/20)

The FINAL COUNTDOWN~ to HyruleMania begins!

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HPW First Day

HPW takes a closer look at the Trios and Termina Championship match-ups!

Before the #CelebrationofGreatness, Hyrule Puro-Resu takes a closer look at major match-ups! First: the HPW Trios and HPW Termina Championships!

 

Forged By Violence is stacking weights onto a bar.

Red Nut and Blue Nut spot Iron Knuckle as he prepares to squat 500 pounds! He gets the bar up, brings it down, down, with perfect form, and rises right back up. A new personal best! Knuckle says he has to be stronger now more than ever. “Knocker’s no joke. You take him lightly for one second, you get crushed. The same goes for Darkhammer and Gooma.” Groose’s team learned that, but what happened in Hebra wasn’t even the half of it. Knuckle knows these guys, from their days going around the country. “HWH, Skull Lake, Mesa League, NWS. We almost had a spot with Akkala Wrestling Alliance, but some honestly childish mistakes cost us that.”

Things shift from the weight room to a fire pit now. Knuckle stares into the fire as it shines off his helmet. “I’m still honestly surprised to this day those mistakes didn’t cost us more.” Knuckle and Knocker, Knocker and Knuckle, they were like brothers from different mothers. Teaming together, facing each other, Knuckle understands why Knocker would be upset only one of them got chosen by HPW. What would one be without the other? But Knuckle told Knocker that if HPW only wanted one, what could Knuckle do? “A company can’t take everyone. Didn’t AWA teach us that?” If Knocker hasn’t learned that all these years later, then maybe HPW was right not bring him in right away.

The Darknuts finish shining up their gear as they sit in their garage. Knocker tried to make it seem like they are blindly following Iron Knuckle, can’t think for themselves, “typical henchmen s*it like that.” Red and Blue will say it for themselves so the Doom Bringers and the fans “get it through their heads.” They had a goal: have championship gold. HPW offers Trios Championships, so they needed a third. Knuckle was the one who heard them out, and now look? Red and Blue hold up their belts, with the little emblems of themselves on the side plates. “We reached the goal.” They’re working with Knuckle, not for him. That’s how they’ll beat all there Doom Bringers.

“Forged By Violence stands together in all meanings of the phrase,” Knuckle says as we see the three walking together. “Forged By Violence joined together because we all understand the hard work it took, the sacrifices it took, and the strength it took to make it here. We’re part of HPW’s revolution. We’re part of HPW’s dominance. And at the Celebration of Greatness, we’ll be cornerstones of HPW’s future.”

“Yeah, keep telling yourselves that,” Doomknocker says as now it’s his turn to talk.

“You’ve known Knuckle what? A couple months? I’ve known that guy for years.” Knuckle is aggressive, tough, “strong as an ox and stubborn as a jackass,” and that’s why Knocker respects him. But Knocker wants the Nuts to know, Knuckle’s competitive and demanding. “If you mess up, or if you mess his stuff up; if you hold back, or if you hold him back, he won’t take that.” It’s one of the reasons Knocker always had a hard time teaming with him. “Knuckle ‘n’ Knocker could’ve been Skull Lake Tag Team Champions for way longer, but one time I’m too late to breaking a pin, and he’s on my ass.”

There’s footage of Knocker, Darkhammer and Gooma lifting weights, flipping boulders, chopping logs and various other practical work-outs as narration continues. Knocker wants to clear things up for the Nuts. He isn’t saying this to stir up trouble. They all had fun talking, drinking, hanging out, remember? Knocker is just saying, the Nuts need to be real careful. Their match being an elimination match means they “can’t just lean on each other to get the job done, first fall and you cash out. You need to be on the ball for no less than three falls. Knuckle’s going to expect excellence, 191%, bell to bell. Can you handle that pressure?” Gooma jokes that they should be called the “Nutcrackers” after they win.

Other narration pops in now. “Two trios, built by the blood, sweat and tears they’ve shed. Iron sharpens iron, and the bonds of friendship are still strong, but will it be gold that shatters it all to pieces?”

 

Osphala sand surfs in the Arbiter’s Grounds.

Cameras watch the Gleaming Yellow Light start at the top of a seven story sand dune. It’s steep, but he makes it all the way to the bottom, to the excitement of friends and onlookers. Osphala pulls his gaiter down to take a quick drink of water before wanting to go again. Osphala speaks to HPW as he climbs back up the dune. “I sand surf, snowboard, skateboard, and of course surf on water. I like testing myself against the elements.” Footage plays to fit his descriptions: “The hot desert; the freezing snow; the scraping, bludgeoning stone; and the turbulent tides. They’re great coaches, trainers, sparring partners, that don’t tire out or give up before you do.” When no one else is willing to keep up with Osphala, nature’s always there for him.

Osphala reflects on being injured earlier in the year. Returning on October 31st, at Clash of Fates, that meant he was out a few days short of 11 months. Yuga’s “Picture Frame” hold is not to be taken lightly, that’s for sure. But he’ll worry about Yuga later. Osphala wants to seize the opportunity given to him by HPW to make up for lost time. Osphala respects the history of Termina Championship Wrestling, the legacy the HPW Termina Championship represents, and Igos du Ikana as the Termina Champion. “But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to take that title from him. What better way to show respect for all of that than to want to carry that banner myself?”

“I believe you,” Igos responds.

The Ruler of Ruin narrates over a montage of him training, with him kicking a heavy bag and sparring with his “royal family.” “I believe you when you say you respect TCW. I believe you when you say you respect this title. And I believe you believe you’ll win this title. But you won’t.” Igos commends Osphala on making it back in under a year’s time. The Picture Frame submission targeting a leg and an arm each, Igos wondered which was going to give out first. The leg tear was not some simple injury. Footage of Osphala’s recovery and rehab plays at this time. “But facing me with a target on your body is more dangerous than swimming in shark infested waters. Don’t take it personally when I go after that leg. This is just like facing those sharks in the water; it’s about survival.”

Obviously, TCW isn’t around anymore. Management meant well but they weren’t ready to run a company. All that’s left is the history and the legacy, the things Osphala respects. “Those of us who wrestled for TCW carry those with us. I carry those with me. Now literally, because my people and I salvaged this belt from the wreckage. This belt is part of us. Part of our bodies, part of our hearts, part of our souls. You will not take that from me, no matter how hard you try.”

Once again, other narration pops in. “One whose legacy has barely begun. Another who wishes for a legacy to carry on. Only one can hold the title that represents so much to so many. Whose legacy will be cemented with precious metals? The entire world finds out on December 31st, at the Celebration of Greatness, HyruleMania!”


My Thoughts:

How’d you like my attempts at creating NXT Prime Target/AEW hype vignettes? This will be the first of three articles like these, with the third one of course publishing on New Year’s Eve, just before THE HyruleMania article!


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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (5/1/24)

The Gerudo Sisterhood is (not) fine.

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Mayday! Mayday!

The Triforce Anniversary did not go their way, and now The Gerudo Sisterhood sits down to talk it out. Will things (not) be okay again?

 

The Gerudo Sisterhood meet up.

In Gerudo Town, Riju sits in the throne room, Buliara by her side. Aveil, Nabooru and Urbosa arrive together. Riju asks where Tali and Shabonne are, and Aveil says she has no idea. Nabooru and Urbosa also don’t know, no one’s heard from either all month. Did she go back to sand seal racing? Nabooru checked around the track, checked the Great Dunes, no one there had seen her, either. Is Tali feeling that guilty about the spear? Everyone watched the tape back, it was by accident, she has nothing to feel bad about.

The group argues about that a bit. Tali went out there when she wasn’t supposed to. And even if it was an accident, she should still apologize, shouldn’t she? That’s a good point. Well, for now, they’ll just have to wait until Tali comes to them. For now, everyone needs to turn their attention to what’s coming: ThunderStruck.

The Gerudo Sisterhood double check the match card.

An Open Challenge for the Death Mountain Championship starts things off. Nabooru and Aveil tried to get that spot, but it seems someone already called their shot. Who do they think it was? Urbosa says, “Does it really matter? The Sisterhood will be right on the heels of the winner either way.” The others are all for that. Then The Dark Forces seem to be making moves. Cia has Ganon by her side, but who will Ruto have? Between Fin Balure and Bad Croc Scaly, she’s got strong choices, and Arrow Club could even parlay this tag match into a shot at the Termina Championship.

How’d Arrow Club figure out how to avoid Blood & Thunder this year? That’s anyone’s guess, but watching the UnderWorld Order battle it out with the rest of the Dark Forces will be just as much fun for the Sisterhood as it will be for the HPW Trios Champs. Kevin Gibdo, Volga, Zant and Wizzro aren’t exactly the friendliest bunch, but hopefully they give ReDead, Scaldera, Gomess & Death Sword the beating they deserve for all their underhanded moves. And it’d keep them from getting another chance at the HPW Trios titles at that.

The sore spot is the Triforce World Championship match. Yunobo has his shot at the title, and again Tali’s involvement in the Triple Threat cost the Sisterhood. But Link’s a three-time HPW Triforce Champion for a reason. For one, he won the Hyrule Warriors match, and he won the Eventide Challenge. Buliara points out that the other reason is that he lost the title along the way. If things come in threes, then will he lose a third time? Personally, Riju hopes not. She only survived that Beat the Clock Challenge against Link, and wants to settle things in a proper match. That’s also something the Sisterhood can get behind.

There’s thunder in the distance and they all look out the window to see a storm rolling across the desert. Thundra Plateau awaits, but who will rumble their way to victory?


My Thoughts:

Hooray for a hype article! Just imagine this as a really cool vignette video you’d see a major company put out. Also, I did need to keep the story of the Gerudo Sisterhood going, don’t want that slipping through the cracks. I’m feeling some intrigue as we move deeper into the Spring, this should be fun.


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Hockey Talk- Power Players [043024]

Hockey Talk reviews the action from the first round of the 2024 NHL Playoffs and looks forward to some intriguing matchups looming in the second round.

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Chairshot Radio Large

On this week’s edition of Hockey Talk, the guys take a look at the first round of the 2024 NHL Playoffs. The best teams and highest seeds flexed their muscle during the opening round of the playoffs. Out East, it was Chalk City as the Rangers, Hurricanes, Bruins, and Panthers took firm control of their respective series. The West, on the other hand, was far less certain as most of those series were shaping up to be tough, hard-fought, battles to the very end. Which teams impressed the guys the most and which likely second round series are they most excited about? Tune in and find out!

Today’s hosts: Dave Ungar (@AttitudeAgg) and Patrick O’Dowd (@WrestlngRealist)

  • 2024 NHL 1st Round Playoff Recap
  • The East goes according to form
  • The West is wild

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Created in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts, including POD is WAR, Women’s Wrestling Talk, Chairshot Radio daily editions, The #Miranda Show, Badlands’ Wrestling Mount Rushmores, The Outsider’s Edge, DWI Podcast, Bandwagon Nerds, the Greg DeMarco Show, 3 Man Weave, Five Rounds, Turnbuckle Talk, The Reaction and more! You can find these great shows each week at theChairshot.com and through our distribution partners, including podcasting’s most popular platforms.

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