HPW takes a closer look at HyruleMania’s coming grudge matches!

Before the #CelebrationofGreatness, Hyrule Puro-Resu takes a closer look at major match-ups! Second: Rauru VS Ghirahim, and the Dark Forces’ grudge!

Wizzro, Volga and Cia sit at a table.

There are many pieces of paper on the table, organized in files. Death Sword and Gomess haven’t said anything about their third team member for the coming Trios match. Therefore, the Dark Forces are trying to figure out who it could be on their own, with what they know about the rest of the HPW roster.

Obviously, Ganondorf, Zelda, Midna and Link aren’t going to be teaming with Death Sword and Gomess. There’s nothing they have to gain joining Death Sword and Gomess, and they’re busy at HyruleMania with their own title matches. For that matter, the same goes for Forged By Violence and those Doom Bringers, for Igos du Ikana and Osphala, and everyone in the Death Mountain Championship ladder match. Wait, Igos has his “Ikana Royal Family,” and any one of those “bag o’ bones” could team with them. For all they know, Death Sword and Gomess are secretly part of that group.

So which would it be? Probably not Sir Hurr and Sir Durr, “they’re basically a package deal.” That means it’d either be Captain Keeta or StalKid. Neither has a had a match in HPW, how do they even wrestle? Just looking at them, Captain Keeta is big, so he’s probably strong but slow. And on the flipside, StalKid is small, but he probably moves really fast. But, is that really possible? Well, logically, bigger is slower but maybe Keeta defies expectations. Cia snaps at Wizzro, “No, you dolt!” She means the possibility that Death Sword and Gomess would work with Igos. They don’t seem the kind to follow orders. They seem like they’d rather be in charge. So they’d probably bring on someone they see as an equal, or below them.

“Well then that is pretty much everyone, isn’t it?” Volga says. Agahnim, L.A. Fokka, Dreadfuse, Gabora and Zabora, there’s no way they’d be able to prepare for all those possibilities! “Then don’t,” Cia says. “Just make sure you’re as strong as possible, as fast as possible, and as sharp as possible.” They just have to be ready for Death Sword and Gomess, the two opponents they know. Beat those two, and it’ll be just fine. But footage plays not just of Death Sword and Gomess making their debuts at Clash of Fates, but the terrifying things they’ve done in other promotions, and just how generally terrifying they are to look at. The looks on the Dark Forces’ faces don’t look that confident now.

Other narration pops in. “The Dark Forces have encountered forces even darker than them. The Sorceress is confident, but she’s not the one having to face her fears. Will the mystery alone be enough to unsettle Volga and his cohorts? Who is the third man?”

Rauru brings out an old chest.

He opens it up, but there’s no “nana nana, nana nana” as he brings out… An iconic set of wrestling gear in the storied career of the Wise Old Owl. It was from back in the days of him being The Sage of Light. “These sure got dusty.” He takes a moment to try everything on. “And they sure got small… Who am I kidding? I got old and fat.” Footage of Rauru in his prime plays, with him wearing the Sage of Light tights. “Now if Ghirahim was facing that Rauru, he wouldn’t stand a chance.” A six-time AWA Champion, an eight-time NWS Champion, a two-time HWH Champion, a twelve-time DMW Champion and three-time winner of the Gut Check Rock round robin. And yes, even a one-time HWF Champion. “And what all has that spoiled brat done? Defaced a title by putting his face on it.”

Footage plays of Rauru exercising as best as he can. He’s been trying to star sharp this whole time, but the last win he had was qualifying for the Triforce Championship Tournament. He lost in the first round, lost early in the battle royal on April 1st, and wasn’t even considered for anything until the Hyrule Warriors match, and that opportunity was taken from him by Ghirahim. “Maybe he had a point. Maybe that spot shouldn’t have been given to an old man who’s had his time.” But Rauru isn’t going to let “some arrogant pile of argyle” be the one to make that decision for him.

Rauru pushes through and works out even harder. “I believe the saying goes, ‘I may not be as good as I once was, but I’m as good once as I ever was.'” Rauru vows to get to whatever that Rauru will look like. “It won’t be the Rauru of my prime, that everyone looks up to, that accomplished all those things. But it also won’t be a Rauru that goes quietly into that good night.” If Ghirahim wants to make a name for himself off Rauru, “he’ll have to do it fair and square, face to face, like a real warrior would.” Rauru dares Ghirahim to “try and take this old bird down,” but warns him, “owls can watch their own backs, you know.”

Ghirahim just laughs.

“What a great sense of humor you have, old man.” As good as he once was? Ghirahim is already better than Rauru was in his prime! If Rauru wants to list off accomplishments, then he shouldn’t act like Ghirahim hasn’t accomplished anything. Ghirahim is a seven-time Skull Lake Champion, having won five Skull Lake matches. He is a three-time Mesa League Wrestling Champion, and undefeated when competing on Zirco Mesa. Ghirahim is a seven-time NWS Champion, almost as many as Rauru, and has never been pinned in Ash Swamp. And let’s not forget that Ghirahim was a Bracket of Courage Finalist, second-to-last in the April 1st battle royal, and yes, HPW’s third-ever Death Mountain Champion. “Remodeling the championship was just the cherry on top.”

But Ghirahim is glad to see Rauru is trying so hard to get ready. “Be as ready as you possibly can be. It’ll make my victory at the first-ever HyruleMania all the better. Plus, I still owe you for that owl crap you pulled!”

The other narration returns. “The torch has yet to be passed, but it might be taken by force. Will the Wise Old Owl be cut down by the Living Blade? Or can he capture former glory while backed into a corner? The entire world finds out on December 31st, at the Celebration of Greatness, HyruleMania!”

My Thoughts:

I think Ghirahim started to take on some MJF traits in that short counter promo. And it was a creative little challenge making up Rauru’s history, trying to draw parallels in my mind to what promotions exist/existed in reality. And having a segment for the Dark Forces to speak on “Who is the third man?” was natural, as was not having Death Sword nor Gomess say a thing. Those two don’t need to talk, they juts need to be scary.