No one is ready for Raw Talk!

The WWE United States Champion, Raw Women’s Champion, MC M I Z and Johnny Drip Drip are all here for some Raw Talk on the Road to WrestleMania!

Kevin Patrick welcomes us back to the show!

Getting ever closer to the two-night extravaganza, the greatest spectacle in sports entertainment, WrestleMania! The road is a little clearer now after Monday Night Raw. Kevin welcomes his new cohost, MVP! MVP asks when Kevin got here. Where did he go to journalism school? Dublin, Ireland. Dublin, okay. Well on to business. Kevin wants to ask MVP about The Hurt Business. The family seems fractured. No, he has it wrong. The Hurt BUSINESS, not family. They let associates go. The All Mighty WWE Champion, the Chief Hurt Officer, makes the decision. Shelton Benjamin and Cedric Alexander had their opportunities to prove themselves, and they didn’t get their jobs done, so they were given their pink slips. But that’s just business, not personal.

So severing the business connections two weeks before WrestleMania, was that a smart thing to do? Yes, all business cut the unnecessary weight. It’s good for business and the share holders. Well to be devil’s advocate, but Kevin says that Bobby Lashley challenging others to take out Drew McIntyre before WrestleMania, why do that? It’s business! It’s that simple. When Lashley is in the ring, he isn’t paid by the minute or the hour. He’s paid to win. Tactically, if a diminished and broken McIntyre makes it to Mania, that means Lashley’s job is that much easier, and he can dispense with McIntyre to then go and celebrate, as he should.

Kevin makes sure people who missed Raw are caught up here. McIntyre received the news about the All Mighty Lashley had challenged others that if they can take out McIntyre, they can get a title match. MVP says it was a business proposal. Those who can take out McIntyre before Mania could take McIntyre’s place in the title match. That was an extremely generous offer. And it happened, with Ricochet and Mustafa Ali. But when it was all said and done, the night ended with Lashley standing over McIntyre. MVP was on commentary and said he’d never seen Lashley this intense before. MVP meant that. MVP’s known Lashley for years, and he has never seen this level of intensity.

To be honest, the WWE Championship is the most treasured prize. It changes you. Once you’ve held that title, and you can ask any former WWE Champion, you never want to let it go. And it changes something in you so that you’ll keep it no matter what. But did MVP know that King Corbin was going to show up. MVP will neither confirm or deny, but he likes the “entrepreneurial spirit.” It’s never personal, always business. What about approaching Ricochet. Well there’s history there. The Hurt Business tried to recruit Ricochet, he wasn’t interested, but MVP was happy to see Ricochet was thinking like a businessman. Ricochet tried being the stalwart hero, but that’s not what this business is about. This is about the bottom line, the money you make. This isn’t about being cool, this is about being a winner.

So in MVP’s business, is it safe to say he is now recruiting again? MVP always has his eyes open for talent. They are the Hurt Business, they are always looking for talented individuals who will join them. Does MVP need eyes in the back of his head now? No, he has Lashley. That is pretty good, huh? And so, on to the outstanding episode, with phenomenal guests- Well, no, AJ Styles isn’t here, but there is Matt Riddle, Asuka, The Miz and John Morrison. Was MVP bouncing to Hey Hey, Hop Hop? No, it was garbage. Wow. Is MVP going to tell them that to their faces? Yes, he will. Then stick around through a short commercial break.

Matt Riddle joins Raw Talk!

The Bro is back, and Riddle is feeling fantastic. Kevin wants to ask something really quick, but MVP shuts him down. Riddle says he’ll always be the Most Valuable Player to him. MVP wants to say something, but then “doesn’t remember.” MVP is of course poking fun at how Riddle spaced out talking to Asuka during Raw. It happens, bro. But Kevin brings up Riddle being polite as he rode over on his scooter to talk with Sheamus, and then Sheamus attacks Riddle with that scooter, and then again tonight! Is Riddle feeling disrespected? Kevin took the words out of Riddle’s mouth. Sheamus is trying to get under Riddle’s skin, try to figure him out, but he can’t. Sheamus can ambush Riddle, have sweet matches with him, and Sheamus got lucky tonight.

But now they fight on the Grandest Stage of Them All, and Riddle vows to leave United States Champion. MVP says he’s disappointed. What Sheamus did wasn’t luck, it was fair and square and Riddle can’t write that off. This is Riddle being disrespectful and why he gets what he gets. Riddle brings up that he beat Lashley in the Triple Threat to get the title. MVP says Riddle did not beat Lashley, he didn’t pin Lashley. Riddle has before. Victory roll, it happened. MVP asks if Riddle has anything left of what he’s on. Kevin does note Riddle’s mouth looks a little stretched out. MVP says Riddle’s probably been stuffing down Bronutts or something. Riddle says MVP had his chance to get in on that and he skipped on it.

But is Riddle feeling okay after the “Dublin Smile?” Riddle knows Sheamus got those hooks in, very aggressive. Not legal, not even in the WWE, the ref counted, but damage is done. Riddle figures it’ll be normal back in a couple days. It’ll make for good gifs or memes or whatever the kids call them. Kevin asks if Riddle would ever consider going after Sheamus like Sheamus did. MVP points out Riddle kinda did that after the match. Riddle admits to that, that wasn’t very sporting of him. But to be fair, Sheamus attacked first when Riddle was just rolling by, talking with Titus O’Neil about the WrestleMania roast. MVP says the US Champion should hold the title with distinction and honor, but Riddle didn’t do that. That’s why MVP is disappointed.

Riddle says he’s hurt by MVP’s words. But wouldn’t MVP have done the same? He’s been champion. He never attacked someone from behind? MVP says no, but Riddle is sure there’s footage in the archive. He doesn’t have that authority here. Kevin, ask him questions. Kevin wants to ask Riddle about his bro-pack. “Save some abs for the rest of us.” Riddle doesn’t want us to be jelly of his abs. MVP says if Kevin’s into that, that’s cool. Kevin’s just admiring abs. Riddle says it’s alright to admire a bro’s abs. If MVP feels uncomfortable, no one is making him stay here. Keith thanks Riddle for his time, MVP says the pleasure was all Riddle’s. Always is, bro. Fist bump! But will the Bro still hold the gold after facing Sheamus again at WrestleMania?

Asuka joins Raw Talk!

The Empress of Tomorrow is feeling good, and Kevin brings up her coming match with Rhea Ripley. But why Rhea? She walks in, Asuka accepts? Asuka doesn’t want to say this, Rhea is great, but don’t you know who Asuka is? MVP does! She’s Asuka, the Raw Women’s Champion! ORA~! MVP understands Rhea wanting to step in and make a big impact, but you can’t start right at the top. Rhea is biting off more than she can chew. Asuka is pretty sure she wins and keeps the title. Then MVP offers to celebrate at Izakaya and “ikki-ikki!” Then they’ll sing karaoke or something. Asuka isn’t sure what song he’s referencing, though. Maybe they’ll go to hostess clubs, then. Gomen, gomen.

Kevin asks if he can hang out with them. They don’t even know you! Well Asuka just met Rhea and they’re going to Mania together. Kevin apologizes for bringing up Shayna Baszler. Asuka says she still has temporary teeth. Why would he disrespect the champion? A few days ago, Asuka had to have dental surgery. Yet she is here tonight, representing the most prestigious title. But then Rhea throws that table in her face! What did she do to deserve that? No idea! Rhea’s the one who accepted and then she’s so disrespectful. Asuka is so angry! Rhea calls herself the Nightmare, is Asuka having nightmares about her? No! She’s not afraid. Well Kevin had to ask. MVP says be better. Don’t disrespect the national treasure. C’mon, man! Yeah, c’mon, man! Asuka and MVP agree on that.

But Asuka is not just up against Rhea at Mania, but they’ll team up as “best friends.” No! BAKA BAAAKA! But she has to at least work with Rhea against Shayna and Nia because Rhea accepted the challenge. Baka ero! Kevin is just saying what’s happening. MVP apologizes on Kevin’s behalf. But how excited is Asuka for Mania? She is so excited to go to Mania as Raw Women’s Champion! Well MVP is correct there. This is an INTERNATIONAL treasure. It has been an honor to have her. MVP again apologizes for Kevin. Asuka accepts, and says mata ne~! But will Asuka still be champion when she shows up for Raw Talk again?

Raw Talk encores Hey Hey, Hop Hop, the music video.

The Miz and John Morrison join Raw Talk!

Wow, only 30 seconds of the video? MVP says just 30 seconds still makes it the WORST video! These two can’t rap, sing or dance worth anything! ELIAS’ music is better than their stuff! WHAT?! MVP is sipping the Haterade. Well the Great Pumpkin here, talking about haters. Hey, this is a high quality jacket! Don’t you know how much this costs? Way too much. Kevin says he’s a fan. Morrison says his haircut is now being named after him, and not even Aqua-Man is as moist as Johnny Drip Drip. BOOM! GOTTEE! Zinger for Morrison! Jump into the pool, bro! Miz says MVP is speechless! That’s what you get for messing with Peanut Butter ‘n’ Johnny!

MVP says the stupidity is what leaves him speechless. Miz says he has more titles than MVP can even count as the ONLY Two-Time Grand Slam Champion! Right, yeah, he was like, champion just a few weeks ago. What happened? Miz says that every champion eventually loses the title. But how long did Miz have it? Miz says Lashley will lose his title to McIntyre! Well, Miz was world champion for two weeks, which is two weeks longer than MVP’s ever been! BOOM! Zinger number two! MVP says it’s the same for Morrison, but they ignore that. MVP say she never got the opportunity! Every time you’re on TV is an opportunity.

But all that is besides the point. They’re talking about the garbage music video! The video that is trending worldwide? Hasn’t MVP heard the people? It is a virtual dance party! MVP won’t even dignify this with a response. Maybe MVP’s too old, hobbling around on his cane. Well, someone younger than all of them, who has had his say, Bad Bunny. What is this? Kevin is attacking them! No, he’s asking a question. He wants to give context. Miz felt disrespected that Bunny, a very talented artist, was walking into their world of wrestling. Does Bunny have the right to feel disrespected with Miz and Morrison going into his world of music?

MVP says they can definitely ask Miz if Bad Bunny has a right. That was a sucker punch! Yeah, right to his face! And do you know what Miz will do about it? He’ll settle this at WrestleMania! The Grandest Stage of Them All! And Miz will make sure Bunny understands that he must earn respect in the WWE, and he hasn’t earned anything! And trust Miz, when Miz is done with Bunny… Morrison says Miz didn’t want to say this on camera, but says that Miz wants to cut Bunny’s foot off, dip it in gold and rub it for good luck. Miz is surprised by that because that’s not what he said. But Morrison says Miz holds grudges. Miz says he wasn’t going to go that far. He doesn’t need luck, anyway!

MVP doesn’t get what Morrison is going for here. Taking someone’s foot and rubbing it? Kevin says he’s into abs, Morrison’s into feet, it’s a wild night. Morrison says if anyone knows lucky charms, it’s Kevin. Two weeks and he went there. Did Miz encourage Bunny to hit him with that? Was that a mind game? Miz says that’s not encouragement. He sees a guy like Bad Bunny, or any celebrity that comes to the WWE, he demands a level of respect. Even MVP would, despite the arguing here, MVP would agree with that. When Bunny first came here, Miz put a hand out to shake but Bunny rejected him. Miz is sick of it.

Morrison had other song ideas, Bunny never got back to them about the collaboration. They were extending an olive branch, he turned a could shoulder. Well Kevin is excited for Mania, and feels Raw Talk was disrespectful. Kevin asks the producers to play the rest of the song! Hey Hey, Hop Hop plays us off, and MVP wants to get out of here. Kevin has fun, Raw Talk fades out, see you next week!

My Thoughts:

A very good episode, and MVP was great here. Of course he doesn’t confirm or deny what’s going on with Baron Corbin, that probably hasn’t been fully sorted out yet so he can’t give an answer. I’m still thinking there’s a trade in the works so that SmackDown gets a midcarder or two post-Mania. MVP bringing up continuity with Riddle was good, and his smooth use of Japanese with Asuka was great. I like the idea that MVP and Asuka are buddies, we get very little about Asuka as a character within the WWE Universe, so at least she spends time with somebody. Miz and Morrison were great again, but they get so chaotic it’s hard to keep up with them.

Overall, I wonder if this is a sign of changing hosts for Raw Talk. Charly Caruso is apparently on her way out, hence why Kevin Patrick is here, but what about R-Truth? Is he, like Samoa Joe, just off because of COVID concerns? Will MVP or someone else be the new regular WWE Superstar co-host? I’m sure we’ll see past WrestleMania.