Talking Smack has the Role Model and royalty!

WWE is heading for the Fastlane, but DING DONG, HELLO~? There’s Talking Smack first, with Bayley, the Mysterios and APOLLOOO~!

Kayla Braxton welcomes us back to the show!

We’re on the Road to WrestleMania but we’re going to stop at Fastlane first! And speaking of Fastlane, we saw Daniel Bryan celebrating atop the Steel Cage after defeating Jey Uso! That’s because we will now get Bryan VS Roman at Fastlane for the Universal Championship! Does Paul Heyman have any comments? Kayla is for one proud of Bryan. Kayla congratulates her on her bias. He does have a bias, too, but that doesn’t make him wrong.

“Daniel Bryan is a very interesting human being. He has everything a man could want: he has a wonderful wife who loves him; he has healthy children who adore him; he has the WWE Universe which appreciates his unique worth ethic; and now, he has a path to the main event of WrestleMania. Everything a man could want. Except what Daniel Bryan doesn’t have is a strategy to beat Roman Reigns! That’s where Daniel Bryan comes up short.” Heyman assures us, as unique of a human and as much momentum Bryan has right now, Bryan is NOT man enough to beat Roman Reigns. He is not capable of taking Roman out of the main event of WrestleMania. All Bryan has now is “an ass-kicking at Fastlane that Roman Reigns will bestow upon him as a message to Edge.”

Ladies and gentlemen, that is not a prediction, that is a spoiler. The Tribal Chief, the sun around which the WWE Universe shall continue to orbit is the Reigns-ing, Defending, Undisputed, Uncontroverted, WWE Universal Heavyweight Champion and T H E main event of WrestleMania, Roman… Reigns…! Kayla says we’ll on the Talking Smack after Fastlane. Heyman says that shouldn’t be her comment. She asked a question, he answered it, that’s it. Stop flirting with him, he’s married! But Kayla ignores Heyman and says we have our first guest, who has her own hit talk show, DING DONG, HELLO~! It’s the longest reigning SmackDown Women’s Champion ever!

Bayley joins Talking Smack!

Heyman greets Bayley with a kiss to her hand and she swoons?! Bayley says she’ll show Kayla has it was, and kisses Kayla’s hand. Kayla just says thanks, and Bayley can’t believe it! This is why Bayley is here! She needs to improve this show! Heyman thanks Bayley for the honor of kissing her hand. Bayley thanks him for the honor of having her hand kissed. But Bayley is here because she’d love to take over. What? Well Bayley is the host of the newest and the best WWE talk show right now, and Heyman agrees. It is T H E E Best! Bayley feels she could add more flavor and entertainment, and viewership, to this show. If Kayla would like, she could be competition in the ring while Bayley joins Heyman here.

Heyman says Kayla did great on Raw Talk. From what he heard, he doesn’t watch. Bayley takes a seat and complains about the chairs. Kayla says she did like Raw Talk because at least she had a cohost who understood what it was to be a cohost. Seriously? Bayley says she went on Raw Talk when this is her show? Bayley would never do that as THE host. Heyman says, “Ding dong, Hello!” Kayla is a ding dong, and he says hi to Bayley! Kayla brings up the Sweet Tweets and how the last one was apparently sour. What was it? Well depends, was Kayla “WWESuperfan?” But Bayley is wearing her host sweater, glasses and watch, so maybe she’ll ask the questions here. Oh really? Well fine. Ask Kayla whatever you want. She can’t say she’ll answer but she’ll try. Well that doesn’t seem fair.

Bayley takes her glasses off to get serious, and she asks if Kayla was WWESuperfan, who tweeted that Ding Dong Hello is “an abomination, the worst thing you’ve ever seen in your life,” because that’s what that person said! Kayla can get in the cage and meet Bayley right here and now. Kayla confirms she is NOT WWESuperfan, but whoever they are, she applauds them. Kayla will retweet it. Oh, okay, fine then. Bayley breaks her glasses! Is she upset? No. Then will Bayley ask more questions? No, Kayla can ask. Kayla asks who Bayley would have as a guest, in the whole world, for Ding Dong Hello. The whole world? A line is forming from Jerry Seinfeld to Ellen to Wendy Williams to Ricki. Remember her? Ricki Lake! Bayley was trying to spark Kayla’s brain there. Does Kayla do homework?

Heyman says Kayla is too busy going to Raw Talk on Mondays. Well, Kayla wants to make sure Bayley knows that Twitter account, EllenDegeneres1, is not the REAL Ellen. Yes, she is aware, because THE Ellen could just text Bayley. DING DONG, Bayley’s a STAR! Kayla agrees, Bayley is a star, and Ding Dong Hello is a show. Wow, how rude. Kayla invited Bayley here! Well Bayley said she wants to take over so… Well now Bayley broke her glasses because of Kayla. Heyman apologizes on behalf of Kayla because she has no conscience. She cheats on Talking Smack with Raw Talk. He is protecting Bayley from Kayla, the “wanton pseudo-journalist who is besmirching” Bayley’s reputation.

Bayley agrees, there should be brand loyalty. That is why Bayley is the Role Model and gets the Sweet Tweets, and still runs the show! So Kayla should get off the show so Bayley can run things with Heyman! Well Kayla says not anyone can do this job, it’s not that easy. Bayley breaks what’s left of her glasses and then takes her leave. Heyman asks what’s going on with Kayla today. Kayla was just giving Bayley a chance to step up and prove she is a good host. Heyman agrees, Kayla should test Bayley in all aspects, and that includes getting into the ring.

Heyman claims that before the show started, Kayla got all snotty about Bayley and said she’d slap Bayley around in the ring. Lying is never good, Paul. Then Kayla needs to stop lying. Well this isn’t a lie, our next guests are Nigerian royalty and his royal guard!

Apollo Crews (and the Elite Guard) join Talking Smack!

Heyman asks if it is okay to shake Apollo’s hand. Apollo tells his guards it is okay, he is engaging. He and Heyman are okay. How is Heyman? He is doing great, now that he is in Apollo’s presence. Apollo thanks Heyman and asks if Kayla is happy to be in his presence, too. She is! She is very impressed with seeing Apollo’s change. How did it feel to finally introduce “the real” Apollo? It felt fantastic. This is who Apollo is and who he has been, but he’s hidden it for so long. As he said on SmackDown, Apollo was embarrassed to embrace his roots because of how he’d be made fun of by the other children. They’d call him names, not embrace him, so he couldn’t embrace his heritage.

But now, it feels good to be who he is. He loves it! He loves dominating people like he did Big E. Big E is home, and if he were smart, he’d stay home. But at the same time, Big E has something Apollo wants and that is the WWE Intercontinental Championship. Big E must come back and Apollo will hurt him again. Apollo’s birthright is to be a warrior, like the Tiiv people. Apollo will live up to his family’s greatness by taking the championship. Heyman says question asked and question answered, so next question. Kayla brings up how Apollo had chances to take the title and failed, so how- Apollo laughs and says he never failed. That loss was not a failure.

The difference is now, look at who Apollo is. Big E doesn’t want to face Apollo after seeing what Apollo is capable of. The world knows what Apollo is capable of! And Big E will learn that again. Apollo wants Heyman to relax, they are fine. Heyman says he is very impressed by everything Apollo is doing physically, strategically, and in action. Apollo says Heyman understands. Big E will understand. Does Kayla understand? Is she really hearing what he is saying? We’re just a week away from Big E’s return, and Apollo will be waiting. Then Apollo will show the world just who good, how GREAT, Apollo really is. Apollo shakes Heyman’s hand again and Heyman says he is in awe.

Kayla thanks Apollo for his time, and Apollo leaves with his guard in toe. Kayla will say that the last few times we’ve seen Apollo on Talking Smack, and Heyman’s motivational speeches have perhaps helped light that fire in Apollo. Well like most women in Heyman’s life, they don’t give him credit when it is due. But Heyman has been right about great talent for over 34 YEARS. With that credibility, Heyman assures all of us that Apollo Crews is a main-event talent. “He’s going straight to the top. Apollo Crews, 2021, will be a top tier WWE superstar, and that’s also not a prediction. That’s a spoiler.” Kayla doesn’t agree with the tactics, but she knows Apollo is someone to watch out for. But finally, a duo to watch for, it is the Mysterios!

Rey & Dominik Mysterio join Talking Smack!

Kayla thanks them for being here. Rey and Dom have found themselves in an “interesting” situation with Alpha Academy, Chad Gable & Otis. They have a target on the Mysterios, but do they know why? Heyman speaks up as someone who has known Rey for a long time. It is apparent there is a lot going on. All respect to Kayla, they don’t need to be fielding questions. Rey has something he needs to say. So with that, Heyman lets Rey take the floor. Rey says that as we all know, he has been working very hard to teach his son how to be a man. They’ve been training so hard day in and day out, in the ring, to make Dom the best version of himself.

But on the other hand, Chad Gable is “puppeteering” Otis into doing his dirty work. Chad is making Otis his BITCH! Sorry for the language, but that is the heat within Rey. Rey says it’s okay that for the past two weeks, Otis has dropped Rey and used that 300+ pounds to crush Rey’s ribs. But that fires Rey up like they wouldn’t believe. They have underestimated the Mysterios because Rey has been in the ring with some of the baddest men in the wrestling world! No matter how big, how heavy, how badass, Rey has found a way to take them down! “Chad, Otis, you have no idea the magnitude of the hurricane that’s coming your way!”

Rey says it in Spanish, too, that they have no idea what it is to face a Mysterio. But they will feel the power of the 619. With that, Talking Smack closes. Will Rey & Dom have Alpha Academy’s number?

My Thoughts:

A pretty good episode this week, though I don’t remember any of this being advertised last night on SmackDown. Bayley trying to expand as a talk show host was a funny way for her to get on Kayla’s nerves. I feel like Bayley should’ve read some of that supposed mean Tweet on SmackDown to set this up, as she could’ve said anything today and it would’ve been what it was. Maybe “WWESuperfan” continues to mean Tweet her and there’s some big reveal of who it is, but at the same time, I don’t know how that would go. Apollo had a good segment, partially reworking what he said on SmackDown, but maybe a little clumsily. Point is, Heyman got to comment that Apollo is going places, and I don’t doubt it.

The Mysterios had a good closing segment, and I like that Heyman helped set it up because of that ECW connection. Rey Mysterio here adds a great bit of heat and depth to the story that had only been told in the ring so far. As I said for the SmackDown article, I am sensing a big stakes rematch of the Mysterios VS Alpha Academy, winners go to Fastlane to face the tag team champions, which might also annoy the Street Profits.