Andrew’s IMPACT Under Siege Results & Match Ratings: 5.15.2021

Your friendly neighborhood drunken Impact lifer has returned for the ImpactPlus event! Impact is Under Siege by AEW, NJPW and soon to be AAA! Can they fend off the invaders? Are they doomed to be swallowed?

A bunch of #1 Contender matches, a few titles on the line and Massive Cassidy looking to get his first PPV win. This could be amazing or I could be bored to tears.

Flip a coin and lets find out!

Ratings:

• Brian Myers vs Black Taurus w/Decay: Myers wins via Roster Cut – ** ¾
• Susan & Kimber Lee vs Tenille Dashwood & Taylor Wilde: Taylor wins via German Suplex Hold – *
• Tag Team #1 Contender Match: Ace Austin & Madman Fulton vs TJP & Petey Williams vs XXXL vs Rohit Raju & Shera: Ace wins via Tandem Splash – *** ¼
• Morrissey vs Willie Mack: Morrissey wins via East River Crossing – ** ½
• Knockouts Tag Team Championship: Jordynne Grace & Rachael Ellering (c) vs Fire N Flava: Tasha via Frog Splash – ** – TITLE CHANGE!!!
• X Division Championship: Josh Alexander (c) vs El Phantasmo: Josh retains via Ankle Lock w/Grapevine – *** ½
• Knockouts Championship: Deonna Purrazzo (c) w/Kimber & Susan vs Havok: Deonna wins via Fujiwara Armbar – * ½
• FinJuice & Eddie Edwards vs Gallows, Anderson & Kenny Omega: Eddie wins via Boston Knee Party – *** ½
• #1 Contender for World Championship: Moose vs Trey Miguel vs Sami Callihan vs Chris Sabin vs Matt Cardona vs Chris Bey: Moose wins via Lights Out – *** ¾

Results:

Brian Myers vs Black Taurus w/Decay

Early on Taurus was wrestling circles around Myers. Myers tried to slow things down, but Taurus used the rope for some acrobatics to get out of the holds. It wasn’t until Myers took a cheapshot on Crazzy Steve on the outside that caused a pause in Taurus’ strategy. Myers dominated the match for a good while as he stayed a step ahead of the lucha beast.

Taurus manages to hit a desperation Rolling Crucifix Powerbomb to stun Myers, but a few shortcuts and a well-placed thumb to the eye staggers Taurus enough to stumble into the path of the Roster Cut. Myers wins!

Susan & Kimber Lee vs Tenille Dashwood & Taylor Wilde

So early on we have Tenille trying really hard (in character) to work with Taylor. Opportunistic tags, saves, tandem attempts. It’s all interesting to see how much Tenille is trying to make this team work. However, so much of this was just messy, trainwrecks and awkward.

Susan’s a great gimmick, but a clunky wrestling gimmick thrown into a clunky wrestling match, just looks like a really bad practice bout. Sure, Taylor won after Kaleb Enzuigiri’d Susan, so Taylor technically won after a dirty assist; but I’m assuming that will play into the future stories. I just want Tenille to go back to wrestling competently or bring in the IIconics so they can just be charmingly cringe together.

Tag Team #1 Contender Match: Ace Austin & Madman Fulton vs TJP & Petey Williams vs XXXL vs Rohit Raju & Shera

Rohit and the team of Petey and TJP did most of the early work in this match. It took a while to pick up, but once Ace and Madman came in, we saw a whole tone change. Rohit had moments where he tried to take advantage of moments, TJP and Petey tried to out wrestle everyone and XXXL tried to pick their spots and use their size…but it wasn’t meant to be. Madman and Ace are just too perfect of combination, they save each other at perfect times, Madman has great athleticism and it’s great. Madman hits the End of Days, followed up by Ace jumping off Fulton’s back for a Splash and discount Heartbreak Hotel, let’s call them Econo Lodge, wins the match!

Morrissey vs Willie Mack

Hey! Its Massive Cassidy…using mostly his shoot name I guess? No Massive Cassidy is better…W.Morrissey is dumb.

This was a glorified squash, which did show a lot of heart from Willie, he even managed to take Massive Cassidy off his feet and get a near fall. So Willie had a valiant showing, but Cassidy is just too big, to dangerous and too…well in the Kevin Nash zone of how to wrestle a match. East River Crossing basically won the match, but Morrissey wanted to continue this head attack story and kicked Willie in the back of the head before the pinfall.

Post-match, Massive went for the continued beat down, but Rich Swann hits the ring and fends him off. So Morrissey moving up the card quickly.

Knockouts Tag Team Championship: Jordynne Grace & Rachael Ellering (c) vs Fire N Flava

The story for Jordynne and Rachael winning last time was just because Fire N Flava weren’t on the same page. This time, they’re more focused but Jordynne and Rachael do dominate early. It takes a hot minute to pick up, but we do finally see some solid teamwork from Fire N Flava, Rachael and Jordynne seem to be a step behind, and Tasha wins with a Frog Splash!

2 time Knockouts Tag champs! And thank God for that, Ellering is terrible.

.@swinger_johnny EJECTED @THEACEYROMERO and @legendoflarryd from Swinger's Palace. #UnderSiege @MrsAIPAlisha @SuperMexCTM @JohnEBravo1st pic.twitter.com/DNkmQr4nwQ

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) May 16, 2021

X Division Championship: Josh Alexander (c) vs El Phantasmo

This match starts off…well slow, for a lack of better words. Some feeling out, some basic clash of styles with ELP’s flashy rope work sprinkled in here or there. But it didn’t really start to pick up until ELP focuses on Alexander’s hands and Alexander fights back.

A few big spots, like ELP’s jumping Frankensteiner into the Flying Splash. ELP was never able to hit the Loaded Superkick, or big shots, though he tried. Alexander tried to stay on top of ELP, especially when wounded and went after the ankle viciously. While the match turned into a nice counter hold style of match, it did start slow. But Alexander managing to wear down ELP and then get him to tap to the Grapevined Ankle Lock.

Knockouts Championship: Deonna Purrazzo (c) w/Kimber & Susan vs Havok

This was the least interesting and least surprising finish on the card. Deonna challenged Faby Apache for Triplemania and Havok has been as impressive as a wet paper bag in a wind storm. So thankfully Havok had a little early offense and then Deonna wrestled her down, worked over the arm, and we’re done. No more. Thank you, it’s over.

FinJuice & Eddie Edwards vs Gallows, Anderson & Kenny Omega

We saw a lot of early back and forth. FinJuice and Guns & Gallows traded blows and seemed to protect Eddie from getting in since he came in with tape on his left shoulder. Kenny Omega picked and chose his spots, Eddie was definitely the wrestling guru glue in the whole match.

There was a few corner train spots, tandem moves, very typical Japanese stuff. They hinted a little towards Eddie and Kenny, when they touched for maybe a total of 20 seconds. With Eddie picking up the win after the signature spam, there’s a good chance that whoever wins the #1 Contender’s Match, may be losing to Omega…thus leaving the door open for someone just as decorated in Japan.

Just a thought. If Moose doesn’t bring the belt home, Eddie Edwards should.

#1 Contender for World Championship: Moose vs Trey Miguel vs Sami Callihan vs Chris Sabin vs Matt Cardona vs Chris Bey

This was a great match with stellar pacing, solid in and out of the ring action. Bey and Trey had a few moments where they applied their high flying attacks together to try and even the playing field. It looked a little weird since I hate cooperative spots, but in a way it almost worked.

Cardona hit the Rough Ryder and the Broski Boot but he was protected in a lot of the turmoil. Trey and Bey were throwing their bodies at people but coming up a little short on exchanges. Sami had the match won, about to hit the Cactus Special, but the Good Brothers pull him out of the ring and wail on him to put an end to his aspirations.

Sabin hits Cradle Shock, but Moose pulls the referee out of the ring. Sabin and Moose come in, Moose clips Sabin, works on the notoriously injured leg. Flips Sabin inside out twice, then Lights Out and Moose wins!

Overall Score: 5.5/10

Holy indifferent malaise Batman! The main event moved at a good pace, had plenty of things to enjoy, some storyline setup with Good Brothers costing Callihan the match and then the finish was the correct guy. Deonna having Faby Apache in the not so distant future is hopefully a turning point with the Knockouts. Because a division that was once flourishing about 3 months ago, now feels awkwardly small and devoid of talent at the top. Not sure if that’s Deonna’s general dominance or how the addition of a women’s tag belt always seems to injure a division.

X Division was a nice match, just took too long to build especially given the fact that ELP hasn’t made much of a name in Impact and is resting on his laurels from New Japan and Super J Cup glory for most of the audience. Massive Cassidy coming to blows with the recently defeated World Champion should make for an interesting potential main event scene. Moose vs the Massive one, is something I wouldn’t hate.

So long and short, mediocre show, ended with the right guy winning, and now Moose better become champion.