Connect with us

Entertainment

Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (11/1/21)

Fallout from Clash of Shadows 2!

Published

on

HPW News 2021

HPW is on the Road to HyruleMania 2!

HPW made it through another Clash of Fates, and we hear from the wrestlers who made it through to the other side!

 

After the HPW Termina Championship Dangerous Hazards match.

The Ikana Royal Family meets Captain Keeta backstage.

Keta apologizes to Igos du Ikana for losing the match and besmirching the name of Ikana. Igos says it is fine, “There is still time.” He looks to Stal-Kid, Sir Hurr & Sir Durr and they nod, but we already know how that goes…

Osphala walks backstage, tissue in his nose.

He’s stopped his bloody nose and gives a thumbs up. He also gets ice packs for his back now as he sits down for a moment. “I’m beat up but I’m feeling good. Whatever’s next for me and this title, I’m up for it.” Will the Gleaming Yellow Light be bright and shining for November?

 

After the HPW Goddess Championship.

Shabonne helps Tali to the back.

Tali’s neck hurts from the Figure Four Necklock Zelda used on her, so Shabonne takes care of talking. “We have to respect Princess Zelda. We have to! She is a great talent, as we all just saw. But that will NOT stop the future of wrestling! Tali will be back, she will become Goddess Champion, and you will witness her new era!”

Zelda walks to the back.

The Goddess Champion raises her belt for a quick photo op, then puts it on her shoulder. “I have to give Tali a lot of credit. You can’t coach size or strength. If she gets another shot, I might be in trouble. But I’ll be ready for whoever it is at HyruleMania 2. And I’m looking forward to being the one champion who’s made it a full year here in HPW.” Will the Princess of Hyrule set a benchmark for all of Hyrule to chase after?

 

After the HPW Triforce Championship.

Link and Aryll walk backstage.

She wants him to go back for Kage, who turned out to be their long lost brother, but Link refuses. She asks why. Is it because he refuses to believe? She didn’t know what to make of it herself when grandma showed her the box with all the documents in it. But the birth certificate was official, and there were even photos! Aryll has it on her phone and wants to show Link. Link won’t look but she shows the camera. It’s a bit hard to see the full picture from glare, the faces of their mother and father are hard to make out but it is clear there are twin baby Hylian boys on the mother’s lap. Aryll says that’s proof enough that Kage and Link are twins, they’re both her older brothers.

HPW Media asks Aryll what happened then. How did Kage end up with the mean old sage but Link stayed with the family? There was a kidnapping. Their father was at work and the boys had been put down for a nap. Someone broke in, took one of the boys, but woke the other. Their cries alerted the mother and the kidnapper left with only one boy. The sage may have been the very person who kidnapped the twin that ended up as Kage. Aryll hopes that they can be a family. The sage isn’t around to poison Kage’s mind, he can be their brother. Link and Aryll stare down, and Link sighs. He still leaves without a word. Will Link accept the truth?

The Dark Forces wait as Kage storms in.

He kicks the table and knocks it over, the water bottles on it falling to the floor! Cia calms him down and he grumbles, “Not my brother.” Cia says that was a “horrible, controversial and almost offensive way to finish a match.” It doesn’t matter if it’s true or not, you don’t bring family drama up in the middle of a match, it’s not professional. But don’t worry, the Dark Forces will redeem themselves in the Hyrule Warriors match! Well…

 

After the Hyrule Warriors match.

Captain Bokoblin marches in.

“CAPTAIN! BOKOoOoOOoO~BLIN!” And then he marches right out, pointing his club and flapping his cape. Maybe we’ll see him again before next year’s Hyrule Warriors match.

Oaky Treetoh and her super fans enter.

Her fans work to cheer her up after being eliminated. Treetoh thanks them and says that she won’t let this get her down! She’ll be a great role model with her perseverance! Then she sings her theme song on her way out.

El Hijo del Torbellino walks in.

The Zora luchador thanks HPW for this opportunity. He got to share the ring with Fin Balure before, and he was happy to share it again, even though they didn’t make it to the end.

Ruto walks in.

She also thanks HPW for this opportunity to return to the ring. “It was great to see my old rival, Nabooru, again, as well as a lot of the newer generation. But don’t think this was a one night thing. I’ll be back for more.”

Ganondorf storms in.

HPW Media congratulates him on setting a new record for eliminations at seven. “Oh, really? Well that’s nice. Oh wait, who gives a damn?! Forged By Violence, you boys are gonna need to change your name to Broken By Violence.” He’ll be coming for them soon enough.

Ghirahim storms in.

He’s of course furious at Midna for foiling his plan but he can’t even really form words. Midna walks in next and he turns to confront her, but she tells him to not even bother. They can have it out at whatever HPW has planned for November. Ghirahim takes a second, and then says, “Fine. I’ll see you in November!”

The Dark Forces regroup backstage.

Cia shouts, “Can no one win fair and square?” What was that about pulling the buckle pads off? HPW Media points out Cia used a kendo stick in the match. But that didn’t lead to anyone’s elimination, did it? No? Then shut up! “Those three lowlifes are up to their old tricks, and now they’ve got what they want. But it doesn’t matter who faces Link at HyruleMania, we’ll be waiting on the other side.” But then the news comes in that Yuga turned on Hilda and eliminated her! Cia is surprised, and then she laughs. “Serves her right!” With things falling apart for Hilda’s trio, are The Dark Forces HPW’s strongest faction again?

Hilda storms in.

“Where’s a television? I need to see how this finishes!” The staff help her find a monitor and she watches while sipping water. She grumbles, “Traitorous rat,” while the camera is on Yuga. She gets confused as to what Ravio is doing and tells the chicken to get back in the ring. But then Ravio attacks with the kendo stick and the double knees and Hilda shouts, “YES! That’s what you get, Yuga!” But then she realizes, Ravio won?! She’d almost think she was dreaming.

Ravio walks in.

He’s very bashful and modest for having just won the biggest match of his career. Second Triforce Tournament Bracket of Courage winner and now the second Hyrule Warriors winner. But how does he feel about taking on the Triforce Champion? Ravio’s very excited, Link’s a great guy and he looks forward to a great match. Hilda enters and tells Ravio to “grow a pair already!” She tells Ravio that he’s going to beat Link and take that title from him to usher in a new era! Right? RIGHT? R-Right, Lady Hilda! Good. “Now let’s get going. You start training in the morning.” Training?! Did Ravio win a ton of baggage on top of his golden opportunity?


My Thoughts:

Just kinda whipped this up all at once. The November go-home PPV to HyruleMania 2 will have to have quite a bit in it to determine some other contenders, but there are also some feuds that can go into New Year’s Eve. I’m already thinking of setting the next “event” for Thanksgiving, so it could end up a rather stuffed full article.

Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

MONDAY - Bandwagon Nerds

TUESDAY - 4 Corners Podcast

WEDNESDAY - The Grown Ass Man Podcast

THURSDAY - The Benchwarmers Trivia Podcast

FRIDAY - DWI Podcast (Drunk Wrestling Intellect)

SATURDAY - The Mindless Wrestling Podcast

SUNDAY - 30 Mindless Minutes

CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast: The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history) Unidentified History (Ufology) & Game Gone Wrong (Game of Thrones Universe)


Chairshot Radio Network Your home for the hardest hitting podcasts... Sports, Entertainment and Sports Entertainment!

All Shows On Demand


Powered by RedCircle


Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!

Sports

Entertainment

Sports Entertainment

NJPW PPV Results6 hours ago

Mitchell’s NJPW G1 Climax 36 Results & Report! (8/2/26)

B Block, Round 6!

Results10 hours ago

Mitchell’s WWE NXT Results & Report! (8/4/26)

Return to the Underground!

Today In Pro Wrestling History20 hours ago

Today In Pro Wrestling History: August 4th

Relive iconic wrestling moments on this day in history, from WCW's Collision in Korea to Luger vs. Hogan, OVW, PROGRESS,...

Culture22 hours ago

Attitude Of Aggression #363: Unidentified History- Have We Entered The Endgame For Disclosure?

On this episode, we take a look at a plethora of events over the past few weeks and contemplate whether...

Stephanie Vaquer WWE Raw Return Stephanie Vaquer WWE Raw Return
News24 hours ago

Chairshot Wrestling News Report (8/4/2026): Big Cass Returns, Becky and Vaquer Target Liv

Big Cass returns as a monster heel, Becky Lynch and Stephanie Vaquer target Liv Morgan, LA Knight confronts Roman Reigns...

Results1 day ago

Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (8/3/26)

Tonight's gonna be big!

Today In Pro Wrestling History2 days ago

Today In Pro Wrestling History: August 3rd

Relive pro wrestling’s wildest summer showdowns from SummerSlams to ROH, AAA, and an AJPW masterclasses. See how these events made...

Chelsea Green WWE Women's Championship SummerSlam 2026 Chelsea Green WWE Women's Championship SummerSlam 2026
News2 days ago

Chairshot Wrestling News Report (8/3/2026): Owens Returns, Roman Retains and Chelsea Wins Gold

Kevin Owens returns to win a WWE Title shot, Roman Reigns finally beats Seth Rollins, and Chelsea Green, Chad Gable...

Results3 days ago

Mitchell’s WWE SummerSlam Results & Report! (8/2/26)

The Biggest Party of the Summer, Night Two!

Today In Pro Wrestling History3 days ago

Today In Pro Wrestling History: August 2nd

IWC Prime Cuts! Ron Simmons makes history! JCW Double Retirement! Bloodline rules and Rollins' Ruse! Check it out today!

Advertisement

Buy A Chairshot T-Shirt!

Chairshot Radio Network