Andrew’s IMPACT Results & Match Ratings: 3.17.2022

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! We get Deonna Purrazzo in a triple threat match with both her titles on the line! Also Jay & Bey go toe to toe with the Motor City Machine Guns!

Another solid reason for some people could be the Josh Alexander versus Matt Taven match. I don’t expect a ton of time for it, but who knows. Does Bey eat the pinfall to give the Guns a little momentum in this Bullet Club angle?

Did someone say school!?

.@swinger_johnny's dungeon is now open! #IMPACTonAXSTV pic.twitter.com/k7AaDyppeI

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) March 18, 2022

Ratings:

• Jay White & Chris Bey vs Motor City Machine Guns: MCMG wins via Skull & Bones – *** 1/2
• Steve Maclin vs Rhino: Maclin wins via Gore – ** 1/4
• Larry D vs Bhupinder Gujjar: Gujjar wins via Middle Rope Spear – ** 1/2
• Champ/Champ Challenge: Deonna Purrazzo (c) vs Giselle Shaw vs Lady Frost: Deonna retains via Queens Gambit – ** 1/2
• Jonah vs Zicky Dice: Jonah wins via Tsunami – N/A
• Masha Slammovich vs Arie: Masha wins via Russian Death Device – N/A
• Matt Taven vs Josh Alexander: Josh wins via C4 Spike – ****

Results:

Jay White & Chris Bey vs Motor City Machine Guns

MCMG put on a clinic early on, wrestling circles around Chris Bey and chiding Jay on the outside. Tandem strikes, sweeps, takeovers, just classic MCMG offense leads towards a potential Doomsday Dropkick spot. Jay finally gets sick of being left on the outside and breaks up the attempt.

This allows us to finally see Bey pull out some of his offense, a jumping Gamengiri sends Sabin to the outside, Jay sets up the guns and Bey dives on both of them to get things moving for Bullet Club. Jay tags in and starts working over Sabin, they do a good job at making Shelley and Jay touch more infrequently but both look fairly equal.

The Guns manage a little sudden offense, send Jay flying to the outside and set up Skull & Bones on Bey. Sabin makes the cover 1-2-3// or was it? Jay slides in and makes contact to break up the pin as soon as the referee’s hand hits for 3. Ref stands strong with his 3 count, and the Motor City Machine Guns win, if not a slightly contested finish.

Steve Maclin vs Rhino

Anthony “Don’t call me Santino” Carelli is back on commentary. I guess they’re going to start utilizing him as an on-air talent. Maclin takes things to Rhino pretty quickly and pretty often. We get the usual E-C-DUB chants and Rhino fires up a little at different points to rock Maclin and starts looking for openings to hit a Gore.

The crowd calls for The Gore, Maclin hits Rhino in the corner, side steps a Lariat, and then hits his own GORE…and Rhino falls. Rhino lost to a stolen finisher.

Check out what happend when @JessicaMcKay & @CassieLee found @kalebKonley in the back!#IMPACTonAXSTV pic.twitter.com/dKSPB07OWh

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) March 18, 2022

Before the next match, we also get a little HEATH and Rhino discussing that they’re better as a team. Rhino buys in, and it looks like we’re getting the band back together!

Larry D vs Bhupinder Gujjar

This was a solid clash of styles. Gujjar has had a pretty easy time of his matches so calling this his hardest match up is a low bar. Larry did have a gorgeous Rolling Lariat which dropped Gujjar into a near fall.

Gujjar pulled off his copy and paste Seth Rollins for the comeback. Sling Blade, Ripcord Knee, and a Samoan Drop rocked Larry D. A small attempt from Larry to stay in the fight, then the Middle Rope Spear and we’re done!

Gujjar also still doesn’t care for Raj Singh, and pushes him into Massive Cassidy’s warpath since he loves to come out to haunt Brian Myers lately.

"IMPACT Wrestling is going down the wrong path!"@TheEddieEdwards #IMPACTWRESTLING pic.twitter.com/ILL0JuuBHk

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) March 18, 2022

Champ/Champ Challenge: Deonna Purrazzo (c) vs Giselle Shaw vs Lady Frost

Early on Giselle and Deonna had their moments where they decided to check the baby face in Lady Frost and send her flying. After that we get the usual Triple Threat formula with mostly 1v1 and the third person flies in to do something interesting.

Deonna puts Giselle in a Fujiwara, so Frost slides in and gets the Knee Bar on Deonna, causing a Double Submission spot, but Giselle getting to the ropes breaks it all up. Frost’s athleticism rocks Giselle and Deonna, so Deonna goes flying. Frost gets to the top, hits a Blockbuster on Giselle and then Deonna slides in to hit a quick Queen’s Gambit for the pinfall! Giselle was too dazed from the Blockbuster to break the pin and Deonna retains.

Jonah vs Zicky Dice

Wow, Zicky got the already in the ring Jobber entrance. Zicky tries to bail, gets grabbed, horny bonked, Tsunami and Jonah wins. At least Zicky is getting a paycheck.

Honor No More music hits, PCO is wheeled out on a gurney, neck brace, and he comes walking down to the ring. He’s not done with Jonah! Rumors of PCO’s death are greatly exaggerated. Pull apart brawl time! PCO gets free and Sentons into the pile of security and officials as Jonah retreats looking concerned.

.@JONAHISHERE crushed @ZickyDice and @PCOisNotHuman is here! #IMPACTonAXSTV pic.twitter.com/sGppuYKdXD

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) March 18, 2022

Masha Slammovich vs Arie

Arie looks for a hand shake, Masha hits the Saito Suplex, but Arie dodges the Yakuza Kick. Masha turns around a little offense from Arie, Axe Kick, Russian Death Device, and 3 count.

Sad Zicky Dice realizes he’s missing something, Gia suggests he should head to a wrestling school.

Matt Taven vs Josh Alexander

Josh put on a clinic and Taven showed up game, and the match got more time than I expected. After a little typical back and forth, Taven was working over Josh’s left arm while Josh was going for his amateur wrestling style. After the Angle Triple Germans gets blocked at 2 and Taven hits a Spinning Neckbreaker, we start to see Josh sell some of the effects of Tavens handy work.

Taven did a great job avoiding the C4 Spike about 4 different times, countering Roll Ups, connecting on Just the Tip, but Josh just wouldn’t stay down very long. Surprisingly Taven grabbed the ropes during the Grapevine Ankle Lock, and tried to get to the ropes after dropping Josh’s left arm across the top. Josh meets Taven on the ropes, Superplex, holds on as they roll through, C4 Spike and Josh wins!

A much better match than I really expected from Taven.

Overall Score: 7.5/10

Now this was a damn good episode. A few really good matches to bookend the show, some decent angles established with PCO and the way Moose ended the show going to Josh’s house. Deonna barely getting by in the Triple Threat match finally shows a real possibility of her losing one of those titles soon. And the IInspiration’s little bit was fantastic, plus the way Jessie said KALEB, had to remind people of the “HEY KAYLA” stuff.

Also yes, Swinger’s Dungeon is a fantastic gimmick. Not sure if it will be as entertaining as his Casino, but the initial pitch is pretty awesome. Good stuff, and a little bit for everyone!