Andrew’s IMPACT Results & Match Ratings: 3.24.2022

Last week’s episode set up a lot. We get a Tag Team Titles match, with lumberjacks around the ring; we get a Knockouts Philly Street fight and I mean we know Josh Alexander is gonna be more of a Stomping Weapon. With Moose ending the show waltzing into Josh’s house and confronting his wife Jade and scaring one of his sons, that’s not going to be brushed off.

Now we’re probably opening with Josh calling Moose out, but hopefully we start hot and continue strong. The next few episodes are filmed at the 2300 Arena in Philadelphia, so it should have a certain ambiance. Let’s not disappoint.

Tomohiro Ishii is coming to #Rebellion to face @JONAHISHERE!#IMPACTonAXSTV @njpwglobal pic.twitter.com/7hFk6kajG4

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) March 25, 2022

Ratings:

• Willie Mack vs Laredo Kid vs Speedball Mike Bailey: Bailey wins via Ultima Weapon – *** 1/4
• Steve Maclin vs Heath w/Rhino: Maclin wins via Dirty Pin – ** 1/4
• Tag Team Championship Lumberjack Match: The Good Brothers vs VBD (Eric Young & Joe Doering) (c): VBD retain with help from Honor No More – **
• Rocky Romero vs Eddie Edwards: Eddie wins via Submission Counter Cradle – ***
• Knockouts World Championship Philly Street Fight: Tasha Steelz (c) vs Mickie James: Tasha retains via Splash – ** 3/4

Results:

Josh comes out to open the show, of course to address Moose’s actions from the end of the show last week. This spills into Moose actually being there, a big scuffle, that leads to the balcony and implying Josh was going to kill Moose but Fulton pulled him off as the locker room started to empty to break things up. 

Willie Mack vs Laredo Kid vs Speedball Mike Bailey

Now we all know that X Division style is fast paced so a play by play is crazy man’s work. Things kick off fast, Willie uses his side mixed with speed, Speedball utilizes great strikes and really starts rocking everyone. Laredo is on the outside, Willie moves so Bailey misses the Yakuza Kick; but he follows his momentum. Perches the middle rope, Moonsault to the outside to wipe out Laredo. Not to be out done, Laredo gets some momentum and pulls off a sky high beautiful Tornillo.

Big moves after big moves, Mack does his Pop Up Forearm, Standing Moonsault, and then Laredo tries to work through the offense, gets caught by Mack and he pulls off a Razor’s Edge with the obvious tribute and kiss to the sky, but Bailey breaks up the pin. Laredo gets dumped, Willie gets caught with that Tornado Knee in the corner, Bailey hits Ultima Weapon and qualifies for the triple threat X Division match at Rebellion.

Steve Maclin vs Heath w/Rhino

Maclin gets introduced first and then it cuts to a Promo from Maclin like an old 90s video game. Maclin is mostly in control early, so when he finally gets dumped out, Rhino starts looming and Maclin gets an idea. So he throws himself into the steps and sells that Rhino threw him in there.

Ref throws out Rhino and Maclin stabilizes after a Heath comeback and starts controlling the narrative until he says EC-DUB sucked! So babyface comeback time! Heath counters the middle rope move and lights up Maclin, Maclin is hanging off the ropes, Heath tries a Wake Up Call, but Maclin holds on. Heath crashes, Maclin Jacknife Pinfall, puts his feet on the ropes and gets the win!

Rhino comes back and Gores Maclin’s shoes off, for the EC-DUB pop.

Tag Team Championship Lumberjack Match: The Good Brothers vs VBD (Eric Young & Joe Doering) (c)

Big boys start things off and it was a solid slugfest with not a lot of overuse of the lumberjacks, but part of the fun was that Sabin and Shelley were actively getting licks in on people even not in the match.

As the match goes on, the God Bros hit some tandem moves, they even hit the Magic Killer, but Deaner climbs on the apron. Distractions abound, Doering dives out to murder people, but OGK slides in during the distraction, Low Blow and Climax on Karl Anderson, and EY pins him to retain.

Honor No More making a clear statement. 

Rocky Romero vs Eddie Edwards

A lot of solid chain wrestling to start with, Wristlock takedowns, transitions, joint locks, and then we get the chop exchange and the crowd chants “Kyle Schwarber” at Eddie Edwards. Tom has a great line explaining it to Rehwoldt and punctuating it with “cause I know you’re a nerd”.

The commentary line helped during the solid but not exactly spicy chop exchange, then Rocky pokes the eyes and we get some out of the ring shenanigans. Head Scissors and Sentons from Rocky keep the Hooligan rolling. He goes for Forever Lariats when back in the ring, and after two, Eddie counters the move.

After Eddie catches Rocky’s Tope attempt, he smashes him into the apron and steps a few times, and then moves the elbow pad to his left arm. That’s subtle yet clever since Rocky was working over the left arm, so it’s a little attempt to reinforce the more damaged limb.

Rocky ties him in the ropes for a few strikes, Rewind Kick, then tries the Shiranui, but Eddie counters, Misawa style elbow, Blue Thunder Bomb, for a near fall. Eddie hits a standing Tiger Driver, charges almost like he was setting up the Knee Party, Rocky catches him in a flying Triangle, goes to look for the Diablo Armbar, but Eddie turns it into a pinfall and wins the match.

Afterwards, he baits Rocky with a handshake attempt, looks for the Die Hard Driver…but Jonathan Gresham makes his return/save.

The "Chump Chump Challenge" starts next week!@ZickyDice @swinger_johnny #IMPACTonAXSTV pic.twitter.com/rmFb3GVbvH

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) March 25, 2022

Knockouts World Championship Philly Street Fight: Tasha Steelz (c) vs Mickie James

Well Mickie does well in these kind of matches and it helps protect Tasha from getting exposed. We’ve all seen Tasha’s matches and her inexperience tends to bite her in extended bouts. So a rough hardcore style match is exactly what is needed. Solid chair spots, trash can usage, chains and signs, hell Tasha even screamed “I hate you” while hitting Mickie repeatedly with a parking sign.

Things get interesting since, of course Savannah Evans shows up, since that’s the dynamic. But Chelsea Green eventually comes down with a chair. She slides in, and then just props it up and sits down with a grin. She allows Tasha and Savannah to do their thing, Tasha hits a Splash and that’s all she wrote.

After the match Mickie looks hurt, Chelsea is grinning since Mickie told her to stay back and Mickie needed her but she’s over it. Mickie goes after Chelsea, then Chelsea powders and Mickie yells at her from inside the ring. Cardona hits the ring, Radio Silence on Mickie, and then Chelsea slides in, poses and removes the soft cast. So the re-break was either a clever work or is being worked that way for the story.

Overall Score: 7.25/10

We finally get the Chelsea Cardona turn that we’ve been expecting, Good Brothers are out of the tag title picture for a little bit while Honor No More make a statement and Jonathan Gresham’s return implies what could be an amazing match with Edwards.

Also we’ve got a great comedy segment with Swinger and Zicky. I mean Swinger is amazing how he finds ways to incorporate his gimmick in a completely ridiculous way, but it also just feels right. Swingman and the Outlandish One could really be a solid segment to continue until at least Slammiversary. I do appreciate how Impact seems to find ways to keep even lower card/gimmick guys relevant in the grand design without necessarily needing titles or a high stakes match to push their character work.

Nice show, a few decent matches and you know, maybe we’ll get some NWA crossover since Cardona did put his hands on Mickie, so I feel like Aldis should have something to say about that. He doesn’t seem like the beta type to allow that to happen when you know the door is open.