Andrew’s IMPACT Results & Match Ratings: 3.31.2022

So we get a gimmicky Chump/Chump challenge with Zicky and Swinger, Jonathan Gresham gets to start his revenge tour against Kenny King and Honor No More, while Josh Alexander takes out some of his frustrations on Madman Fulton.

Those are just some of the larger points, there will probably be a little bit of play towards the Multiverse of Matches event during Mania weekend. But the larger focus should be Rebellion, and where we go with the Knockouts Division and Heavyweight Tag Teams need some clarity.

Let’s see what we get tonight!

Check out what the Motor City Machine Guns have to say before they go head to head with Bullet Club tonight!@SuperChrisSabin @fakekinkade #IMPACTonAXSTV pic.twitter.com/zhm2fBhkH0

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) April 1, 2022

Ratings:

• Jonathan Gresham vs Kenny King: Gresham wins via Toe Loop Pinfall – **
• Chump/Chump Challenge: Zicky Dice & Johnny Swinger vs The Good Brothers: Good Brothers win via Magic Killer – N/A
• Madman Fulton w/Ace Austin vs Josh Alexander: Josh wins via Ankle Lock – SQUASH
• Knockouts #1 Contender Battle Royal: Rosemary wins – *
• Aiden Prince vs Bhupinder Gujjar: Gujjar wins via Middle Rope Spear – * 1/2
• Masha Slamovich vs Abby Jane: Masha wins via Russian Death Device – SQUASH
• Bullet Club (Jay White & Chris Bey) vs Motor City Machine Guns: Bey wins via Art of Finesse – ****

Results:

Jonathan Gresham vs Kenny King

Gresham starts off on the mic announcing that he has a match against Eddie Edwards at Rebellion, then the Honor No More music hits and Kenny King comes out to check Gresham verbally. King has some great jabs, even calls the ROH title a “worthless piece of metal from a dead company”. So little bit of quick hype.

This match has kind of a weird pacing. King keeps things deliberate, but that also plays into Gresham’s gameplan. A few Eye Rakes and shortcuts give King some momentum, King even has a great Dragon Suplex into Tiger Driver sequence. However we all knew Honor No More wasn’t getting a win, I’m just always weirded out when Gresham has awkward half submission/pinfall victories. King is on his back, fighting through a Toe Loop/Ankle Lock, but King gets I suppose overwhelmed with the pain and doesn’t lift his shoulders. SO King loses in an awkward finish that just looked bad.

Eddie Edwards slides in for the beatdown, Rocky Romero makes the save to return the favor to Gresham, and I guess we might see a tag match in the next week or so before Rebellion. 

Chump/Chump Challenge: Zicky Dice & Johnny Swinger vs The Good Brothers

Well the Good Brothers answer the open challenge, and now they’re just not amused because of how they lost their rematch. They’re just ruining fun now.

Zicky starts and…stops. Gallows hits the ole Sack of Shit, a corner splash, high kick, Magic Killer and a 1-2-3.

PCO is in the back near the loading docks, looking for Jonah. And well, he doesn’t have to scream long. Monster brawl goes down, and no matter what happens at Multiverse of Matches, I could see a Monster’s Ball match with these two in the near future.

The battle between @JONAHISHERE and @PCOisNotHuman rages on!#IMPACTonAXSTV pic.twitter.com/fuA5CZkZBf

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) April 1, 2022

Madman Fulton w/Ace Austin vs Josh Alexander

Alexander destroys Fulton. He over powers him, comes at him like a freight train, tosses him around, forces him to tap and then holds on…scares Ace away and then seemingly “snaps” Fulton’s ankle.

Remember when Fulton was a force? Pepperidge Farms remembers, but he’s done nothing but lose lately.

.@TheTreyMiguel ran into @SpeedballBailey and reminded him what kind of person @The_Ace_Austin is! #IMPACTonAXSTV pic.twitter.com/0psSUr9aTH

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) April 1, 2022

Knockouts #1 Contender Battle Royal

Usual chaos, Alisha gets mad and does the dumb thing by picking Havok to start attacking, so that doesn’t work out well. Alisha is the first eliminated. But then everyone except Rosemary gangs up to eliminate Havok, typical “take out the biggest one” moment. Also note, Jessie McKay is in the ring in her little Harlem Heat inspired outfit since Cassie is apparently not cleared to compete. Jessie and Tenille fight on the outside, Jessie eliminated Tenille, then Madison tries to knock off Jessie, but Kaleb catches her koala bear style. Madison then gets eliminated, Kaleb walks Jessie back to the apron, The Influence chastise Kaleb, but Jessie gets eliminated by Savannah Evans shortly after.

Savannah and Jordynne square off, Savannah eliminates Grace, but then the remaining women gang eliminate Savannah and we see Lady Frost, Giselle Shaw and Rosemary as the last 3. Lady Frost goes to the top rope to try her Temperature Drop, Shaw kicks her off but Frost doesn’t fall all the way down. Shaw also thinks she eliminates Rosemary but they’re both on the apron. Shaw charges, Frost and Rosemary catch her, pull her over, then Frost and Shaw crash to the floor as Rosemary hangs and smiles in the ropes.

Rosemary is enough of a fan favorite for people to care about this match, but I doubt Rosemary really has a chance. She’s not what she used to be and isn’t really positioned well in the division.

Aiden Prince vs Bhupinder Gujjar

This was mostly an exhibition match. Prince got destroyed, had a small moment where he got a move in, but that was just to try and make the corner propped Spear make some sense.

As good as Gujjar has been, the Spear looks dumber and dumber as a finish. It takes too much set up, and the fact that Prince had to run clear across the ring INTO what we know is the finisher…is just moronic. If you can’t make the move make logical sense, it’s a shit move. Stop doing it as a finish, move it to a signature.

Massive Cassidy’s music hits, Myers barely gets away and Prince eats the BQE through the table.

Masha Slamovich vs Abby Jane

Abby is kinda cute in this little cheerleader kind of outfit, but Masha will kill her. Masha turns her back to give Abby the first shot, 2 quick hits and the Russian Death Device, and that’s all she wrote.

Bullet Club (Jay White & Chris Bey) vs Motor City Machine Guns

Early on the Guns focus on taking apart Jay White and it’s pretty effective. Classic tandem offense, quick hits, they try to hit Bey while he’s on the outside, but he blocks the initial attempts, tries to capitalize and then eats stereo Round Kicks for his attempt.

This match had a great pace and great references to the first match and even the singles match with Shelley and Jay. Shelley moves while Jay is holding him on the outside, so Bey crashes into him. Sabin hits a Yakuza Kick on Jay in one corner, had Bey in the Tree of Woe, so he hits the KENTA Stalling Dropkick, and we see MCMG start to roll.

Thunder Express is hit, there Run & Gun sequence where Shelley has a Bridging Cravat as Sabin does the Sliding Dropkick, but Jay is determined to make a point. He keeps himself active and making saves for the team, he interrupts Made in Detroit. Bey tries a Middle Turnbuckle Art of Finesse, but Sabin turns it into a Flying German Suplex. Sabin looks for Cradle Shock, Jay slides in with the Sleeper Suplex, Bey hits the normal Art of Finesse (Oscutter), Jay goes to block Shelley and Bullet Club even the score in a tremendous match!

Overall Score: 6.75/10

With Multiverse of Matches tomorrow at 10pm, along with Rebellion proper in 3 weeks, IMPACT did a really good job keeping everything in mind. Mickie had a solid promo tying in the NWA angle and how she acted on IMPACT, PCO and Jonah with a cinematic brawl was a fun usage of something we haven’t seen much since quarantine started to lift. Some points have to come off for Gresham’s finish just looking stupid, though the angle it was building towards is fine. Plus Gujjar’s finish looks worse and worse, especially with a smaller guy who bumps too big on the set up move. Let’s also not forget that the Knockouts Battle Royal did more to emphasize how lacking they are on credible threats. Deonna is doing her own thing away from the main title, so it allows the others to build up; but only Jordynne, Rosemary (just because the IMPACT faithful love her) and Savannah have any real cache with suspension of disbelief. There’s also the fact that Josh destroyed Fulton, so in one regard is helped to paint a picture for Speedball going into the Triple Threat, but in helping along an angle, you made someone with a great look, size and athleticism look like a jabroni.

Good Brothers got momentum for the Briscoe Brothers match, Bullet Club gets the win back so we’ll get a rubber match that hopefully goes the way of MCMG and we are still getting teased about Massive Cassidy murdering Brian Myers. So there were definitely good things, and building blocks made a degree of sense, I just don’t agree with some of the strategies.