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Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (3/21/22)

3, 2, 1, RAW!

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WWE Raw 2022

Grudges all over this Monday night!

The Raw Women’s Champion, Becky Lynch, will explain herself, while RKBRO takes on The Alpha Academy, and Finn Balor goes after Austin Theory!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • The Mysterios VS The Dirty Dawgs; The Mysterios win.
  • 2v1 Handicap Match: Apollo Crews & Commander Azeez VS Omos; Omos wins.
  • Liv Morgan & Rhea Ripley VS Shayna Baszler & Natalya; Shayna & Natalya win.
  • Finn Balor VS Austin Theory; Balor wins.
  • RKBRO VS The Alpha Academy; RKBRO wins.
  • Tornado Mixed Tag Match: Dana Brooke & Reggie VS Tamina & Akira Tozawa; Dana & Reggie win.
  • AJ Styles VS Seth Rollins; Styles wins, by disqualification, and will face Edge at WrestleMania 38.

PLAY BY PLAY

STONE COLD is here?!

Fans fire up for the glass shattering, but it’s really just Kevin Owens doing a bad Steve Austin cosplay. The Prizefighter tricked everyone in Chicago, and perhaps even us here watching at home. Fans now boo as Kevin continues to copy Austin’s mannerisms. Kevin then gets a mic to ask Chicago if they wanna see him open up a can of whoop ass on Stone Cold. Kevin says if they’re ready to see him raise hell on that sorry SOB, give him a hell yeah! They boo instead. What? What? What? WHAT?! Fans chant “You Suck!” but Kevin continues the charade.

Kevin pretends to be Austin as he says he heard all the things that Kevin said about Texas. And they were horrible things, but all true! That got Austin’s attention, and so when Kevin invited Austin to the most stupendous KO Show of all time, we all saw that horrible video. Austin stood in the middle of nowhere and pretended to be badass in front of his little golf cart! Austin didn’t know what to do so he just decided to run his mealy mouth and accepted the invitation without thinking. But that’s the problem, Austin doesn’t think much these days. The lights are on but is anybody home? UH-UH!

Fans boo but Kevin keeps going. “Now, well, here we are. I am goin’ to WrestleMania, I am goin’ to the KO Show.” Fans chant, “We Want Austin!” and then the glass shatters again! Kevin freaks out, looks around, but this was another fake-out. Kevin laughs and fans boo more. “What’s that saying? Fool you once, shame on you. Fool you twice, shame on… well, you, for being absolute idiots! And that’s the bottom line, because Stone Cold said so!” Now the only thing left to do for ol’ Stone Cold is drink some beer, get that liquid courage before Kevin gives Austin the ass kicking of a lifetime!

Kevin catches- Well, nope. He drops that first one. And the second. As if Kevin didn’t feel foolish before coming out here. He has the music stop and he asks the bald guy where he learned to throw beer. Maybe he’s from Chicago! Just take a beer, get in the ring, and hand it to Kevin. The guy does as he’s told, and Kevin congratulates him. “Now get your sorry ass out of my ring. No, wait.” STUNNER! Kevin even mocks Austin’s way of talking trash to someone. Kevin then pops the beer cans open, says cheers, and pours it all out on the poor guy. Kevin then throws the beer to the stage, cuz he doesn’t drink beer.

Kevin steps on the guy, goes up the corner, and Kevin’s music plays. But while he’s joking around now, will he be doing anything but laughing after WrestleMania?

 

Backstage interview with Seth Rollins.

What is the Visionary’s state of mind knowing he still is not on WrestleMania’s card? Rollins takes a moment to think while fans chant, “Cody! Cody!” Rollins then starts to laugh… Rollins says he’s going to borrow this mic. Rollins heads out, but what will he have to say?

 

The Mysterios VS The Dirty Dawgs!

Rey & Dominik are preparing to take down The Miz & Logan Paul, by going up against the NXT Champion, Dolph Ziggler, and Robert Roode! Will one of the Mysterio familia end up earning an NXT Championship opportunity while warming up for the A-Lister and the influencer?

Raw returns as the Dawgs make their entrance. But of course, The Miz makes his entrance, too! The Most Must-See Superstar is going to join commentary while his buddies take on his WrestleMania opponents. The teams sort out, Dom starts against Ziggler and they circle. They tie up, Dom headlocks but Ziggler powers out. Things speed up, Ziggler hurdles, Dom rolls and arm-drags! Ziggler shakes out that arm, Dom fires off forearms! Dom knuckle locks, goes up and up and FLYING ARM-DRAGS! Ziggler flops out of the ring and Dom goes out after him, only for Ziggler to RAM him into the apron!

Ziggler puts Dom in, tags Roode, and the Dawgs double whip Dom to double hip toss for the POWERBOMB NECKBREAKER! Cover, Rey breaks it! Ziggler ROCKS Rey, throws him out, but Rey shoulders back in! Rey slingshots to headscissor Ziggler up and out! Dom slips out of Roode’s back suplex, dropkicks Roode to ropes, then the Mysterios coordinate! They both build speed, DOUBLE DIVE at the corner! Down go the Dawgs, but here comes Rollins?! The Visionary says “cut it down,” because no no no, this show isn’t going to move another second until the world hears what he has to say!

Rollins wants a WrestleMania spot, and he’ll get a WrestleMania spot, because he is Seth FREAKIN’ Rollins! And he doesn’t want just any spot! He wants a spot on WrestleMania that- Wait, his mic is cutting out. Rollins says he wants a spot that’ll live forever! He- Wait, it cut again. What’s going on? Hey, leave him on! Rollins wanted Stone Cold last week because that’ll live forever, but now he- The mic’s cut again! So they’re trying to shut Rollins up, huh? Huh?! Well you can’t! But then Raw cuts to break.

Raw returns and Ziggler has Rey up top! Rey resists the superplex, throws body shots, and he CLUBS Ziggler down! Rey headbutts Ziggler away, BOOTS Roode, then adjusts to leap, SEATED SENTON! Both men are down and fans fire up! Rey crawls, Ziggler grabs a foot, but Rey ENZIGURIS Ziggler away! Roode tags in, and he hurries to get Rey’s foot! Roode drags Rey away, then DECKS Dom! Roode scoops Rey, carries him around, but Rey swings to TORNADO DDT Roode down! Hot tag to Dom! Dom goes up, he leaps, CROSSBODY! Then he dodges Roode, RANAS Roode, and runs in, but is put o the apron.

Dom HOTSHOTS Roode, fires up and slingshot sentons! Dom then gets around Roode to NECKBREAKER! Cover, Ziggler breaks it! Ziggler swings, Dom gets around, CUTTER! Rey leaps but Ziggler avoids it! Roode gives Dom a SPINEBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Miz says that’s Dom’s inexperience, he should remember to keep his head on a swivel. Roode gets Dom up, but Dom slips out of the DDT to roll Roode up! TWO!! Dom drop toeholds Roode to ropes! 619 from Dom! Dom goes up, FROG SPLASH! Cover, Mysterios win!

Winners: The Mysterios, by pinfall

SUPERKICK from Ziggler to Dom! Rey chases Ziggler, Miz BODIES Rey! Then SKULL CRUSHING FINALE to the floor! Miz gets his shot in, and then he TAKES REY’S MASK!! The ultimate disrespect from the ultimate glory hog! Will he and Logan Paul do just as awful to the Mysterios at WrestleMania?

 

Seth Rollins talks with management.

He’s almost still laughing as he says Adam Pearce & Sonya Deville are of course trying to shut him up. They know what he wants: the biggest spotlight possible at WrestleMania! It doesn’t matter if it’s night one or night two, he wants it! Pearce tells him disrupting the show like a lunatic won’t get him what he wants. And what will? Relying on these two buffoons for anything? Sonya says they understand he’s frustrated. But they gave him a chance to beat Kevin Owens and replace him, but he failed. Pearce says we can all calm down, and maybe there is something they can do. Rollins laughs and leaves, but will management be able to find him anything? Will they want to?

 

The Miz talks on the phone backstage.

He and Maryse are both giddy over what he just did. The mask came right off! The easiest thing he’s ever done! But Kevin Patrick interrupts and Miz does the “No I love you more” with Maryse before hanging up. KP asks why Miz did that to Rey, and Miz says that KP may not know this, but as a child, Logan Paul was a huge Mysterio fan. Logan’s always wanted a Mysterio mask of his own. But as the saying goes, never meet your heroes. Logan found out Rey was a jerk, and that Dom is even worse. The Mysterios have shown Miz and Logan nothing but disrespect, and have done nothing but try to humiliate them! But Miz didn’t try, he DID humiliate Rey!

Miz goes Hamlet and says, ‘To humiliate, or not to humiliate. To humiliate the Mysterios!” The Most Must-See Tag Team will beat them at WrestleMania! And Logan, this is all for you! And Miz dares Logan to wear it next week! BOOYAKA BOOYAKA! But will this disrespect not go unpunished before WrestleMania?

 

2v1 Handicap Match: Apollo Crews & Commander Azeez VS Omos!

The Pride of Nigeria and his personal bodyguard have already been dominated by this mountain of a man 1v1, but will working together be what topples him? Or will Omos reach another level of unstoppable?

Raw returns and Apollo & Azeez make their entrance. They flank the ring, Omos goes after Azeez but he gets away and Apollo dropkicks Omos in the back! Omos stay sup, but then Azeez anchors a foot! Omos still shoves Apollo away, then he grabs Azeez by the hair! Apollo ENZIGURIS Omos, and Azeez drags Omos down to fire off haymakers! But Omos choke grips! Apollo runs in but into another choke grip! Azeez clubs free, kicks low and fires off forearms Omos UPPERCUTS and Azeez wobbles! Omos choke grips Apollo, but Azeez POSTS Omos! Omos staggers, Apollo gets in the ring and he wants the bell!

The ref says they have to wait for Omos. Omos gets up, palms Apollo’s head like a basketball and shoves him away! Omos gets in the ring, he shouts at the ref for the bell and the bell sounds! This is finally official and Apollo runs in, into a BOOT! Apollo tags Azeez in, and Azeez circles with Omos again. Omos tells the punk to show him something! Azeez runs in, Omos dodges and then scoops! He carries Azeez around and then SLAMS Azeez down! Apollo leaps but into Omos’ arms! Omos laughs as he pops Apollo up to a fireman’s carry and TOSS! Azeez runs in again, into a ROUNDHOUSE!!

Omos drags Apollo up, shows him what happened to Azeez, and says it is Apollo’s fault! Azeez tries to get up but Omos TWO HAND SLAMS Apollo down right next to him! Omos stacks these two, covers them, and wins!

Winner: Omos, by pinfall

There’s just no way Omos is merely human! And he gets a mic to say, “It doesn’t matter how big they are. It doesn’t matter how many of them there are. All that means is I am undefeated and I am unstoppable! And anybody who has the BALLS to step up against me, whether it’s Monday Night Raw or WrestleMania, they are all gonna be dominated!” Will Omos prove his supreme dominance time and time again?

 

AJ Styles is back!

After being gone for weeks because of what Edge did to him, the Phenomenal One returns! And he’ll respond to the Rated R Superstar’s ramblings, after the break!

Raw returns and Styles looks at the WrestleMania sign. Styles has the mic to say, “Chicago.” Fans fire up and chant his name. Styles continues to say that for the past two weeks, he’s been missing out on stuff like this. He’s been at home, nursing an injury. He had nothing but time on his hands. And if you have enough time on your hands, it can be a dangerous thing. Styles watched that clip of what Edge did to him with that chair over, and over, and over again, tot he point where he was going crazy! Styles didn’t want to be around his wife and kids, he just wanted to be alone. And lo and behold, who’s on TV but Edge?

Edge has his mood lighting and his mouth is spewing nonsense as he answers, “Why?” But Styles doesn’t care why. He isn’t here to ask why or to get answers. He’s here to kick Edge’s teeth down his throat! Styles says Edge wanted the Pitbull, so he’ll get him! But why wait until WrestleMania?! Edge can come out now and get what’s coming to him! “Be a man and get out here!” Styles paces and waits, but when Edge doesn’t show, Styles calls him a coward! But wait! Here comes Seth Rollins! The Visionary has a mic again and he joins Styles in the ring. Fans chant “Cody!” at him but Rollins has that simmer down. Rumors are fun, but they don’t make moments! And Rollins is living for W WrestleMania moment!

Styles tells Rollins to “cut the crap” and get to what he wants. Rollins says he’s here because like everyone else, he is concerned about Styles’ health and safety. After what Edge did to Styles, is Styles physically and emotionally capable of fighting Edge at WrestleMania? Rollins has a proposition. Styles should go home to his wife and kids, hug them close, get 100%, and come back after WrestleMania. Let Rollins do what he should’ve done in Hell in a Cell and end Edge’s career on the Grandest Stage of Them All! Because THAT is a moment worthy of Seth Freakin’ Rollins! Think about it, Styles.

No, he doesn’t have to think about it. Styles won’t let Rollins take his spot. So long as he can walk, Styles will be at WrestleMania facing Edge. Oh, so as long as he’s able to walk, hmm? So if for some unfortunate reason, Styles got taken out, Rollins could have the spot? Styles sees what this is. This is what Rollins tried to do to Kevin. Rollins admits it sounds pretty great to him. What about it, Chicago? Rollins VS Styles, winner takes on Edge at WrestleMania! Desperate times call for desperate measures! And Rollins is running outta options! Styles says Rollins comes out, dressed like an idiot, and also delusional. Styles is NOT giving up his spot at WrestleMania.

But y’know what? Styles will do what Rollins couldn’t. Styles will destroy Edge, and then we can get back to this. How does that sound? Adam Pearce walks out, and Sonya is also here. Rollins doesn’t want them raining on his parade! But he’s been talking about getting a WrestleMania moment, and they talked it over. Rollins will get one last chance. If he can defeat AJ Styles tonight, he will replace AJ Styles at WrestleMania! Rollins is fired up but Styles is furious, much like Kevin Owens last week! So Styles DECKS Rollins and rains down fists! Rollins bails out and gets back up the ramp, laughing all the way!

Rollins has one more opportunity to go to WrestleMania, but will he win it this time? Or will Styles beat him, just as Kevin Owens did last week?

 

Queen Zelina finds Carmella backstage.

But Mella is too busy on her phone. What’s up, girl? Uh, what’s up is Mella’s total lack of focus just two weeks away from WrestleMania! They’re supposed to have each other’s backs, but all Mella can do is focus on herself. Mella says Zelina needs to stop freaking out. Mella is focused on Mania. It might be Vega not watching Mella’s back while Mella has very important things going on in her life. Well, Vega is doing enough work for the both of then. Mella is too busy with her wedding and her stupid little reality YouTube show! Their titles are on the line in a FATAL 4 WAY!!

Yes, Mella knows how those work. Four teams competing at once, the champs don’t have to be pinned or submitted to lose the belts. Blah, blah, blah. Vega snatches the phone and throws it away! Is the “ugly bridezilla” seriously not taking this seriously? Uh, that phone cost more than that tacky dollar store crown on the little hobbit’s head!! And then Mella SLAPS Vega! Vega takes off the crown, to fire off on Mella! They’re brawling and security rushes over to stop it! How are these two supposed to retain their titles when they’re at each other’s throats?!

 

AJ Styles barges into the management office.

What are they doing?! Why are they risking Styles’ match with Edge because Rollins is crying like a child? And don’t waste your breath explaining, Pearce sucks at this. And Styles hasn’t exactly heard good things about Sonya, either. Styles will beat Rollins and keep his WrestleMania moment.

 

Liv Morgan & Rhea Ripley VS Shayna Baszler & Natalya!

Speaking of that coming WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship match, #Liv4Brutality is in action again, looking to settle things with the Queen of Spades & Queen of Harts after what happened on SmackDown! Will Liv & Rhea make Shayna & Natty pay for raising the stakes? Or will someone #TapNapOrSnap to these submission specialists?

Raw returns and the Queens make their entrances. The teams sort out, Shayna starts against Rhea. They circle, tie up, and Rhea gets around to waistlock and slam! Shayna fights up, pries free and bends Rhea’s arm around to a double wristlock! But Rhea scoops and SLAMS free of it! Rhea drags Shayna back up, but Shayna swings on Rhea. Rhea blocks to ROCK Shayna, but Shayna hits back! Shayna fires off strikes, kicks but the knee misses! Rhea HEADBUTTS, then runs to dropkick! Fans fire up with Rhea and she atomic FACEBUSTERS! Tag to Liv, and Liv runs to get a boost from Rhea, SENTON! Cover, TWO!

Liv drags Shayna up but Shayna wrenches the arm and drags Liv over. Tag to Natty, the Queens mug Liv, and then Natty whips Liv to a corner. Liv goes up and over and rolls back, then RANAS Natty down! Natty ends up in a corner, SHINING WIZARD from Liv! Liv shoves Natty down, Shayna storms over but Liv swipes at her! Shayna stays back, Natty gets Liv for a rebounds SIT-DOWN! Tag to Shayna, Natty steps on then basement dropkicks Liv! Shayna KNEES Liv down, cover, TWO! Liv survives but Shayna has a top wristlock. Shayna twists the wrist, focuses on the elbow, but Liv endures.

Wait, Mella storms out to ringside? She complains to Corey Graves about Vega, and Graves does his best to calm her down. Shayna ignores this while she keeps on Liv, but Liv fights up and arm-drags free! Liv runs, but Shayna keeps her from Rhea! Tag to Natty while Shayna throws hands, Liv fights back, throws Shayna out and BOOTS Natty down! Liv hurries over to the corner, but Shayna trips Rhea off the apron! Natty gets in but Liv cradles her, TWO! DISCUS from Natty! Natty hurries to tag Shayna, and the Queens drag Liv up. They coordinate, HART ATTACK! Cover, the Queens win!

Winners: Shayna Baszler & Natalya, by pinfall

Rhea rushes in but Shayna & Natty bail out! Mella complete missed the point of the match in the ring, but then Vega gets in to CLOBBER Rhea with her scepter! And then Mella RAMS Shayna into the apron! And ROCKS Natty, to whip her into steps! Mella dodges to FABULOUS KICK Shayna down! Mella and Vega stare down in the ring, but they realize they actually took care of everyone else. So they hug and make up! The champions are refocused, but will they still be able to defy the 25% odds?

 

WWE has a medical update on Bianca Belair.

Given Becky Lynch’s attack that involved a chair around Bianca’s neck, The EST has a fractured hyoid bone in her throat, and has been ruled out of action for an unspecified amount of time. Does this put her WrestleMania match with Becky in question? Speaking of…

Becky Lynch is here!

The Man has her Raw Women’s Championship and the chair that damaged Bianca, as well as somewhere between Tron and something Charlotte Flair wore not too long ago for an outfit. But what will #BigTimeBecks have to say about the roughEST attack she committed just last week? We find out, after the break.

Raw returns and Becky has taken a seat in the chair. She also has a mic to say, “There’s a question that I ask myself a lot. Maybe you ask it, too, but your minds don’t think in symphonies like mine does. ‘What does it profit a man to gain the world and lose is soul?'” Well first, what does it mean to even gain the world? To a lot of people, that can mean different things. Becky’s answer was about eight months ago, when she first faced Bianca at SummerSlam. But she’ll come back to that because it was 15 long months that Becky went without holding the belt. Not because anyone had beaten her for it, no. No one has beaten her for a title in three YEARS.

No, Becky was forced to give up the belt. Every day that went by grew more and more painful and agonizing. When the time came, Becky knew she’d do everything it took to get back Her Precious. “So what does it profit a man? It profits him this! The only thing that matters inside and outside the confines of these ropes! For this is everything I am. I am power, I am glory, I am the prize at the top of the mountain!” This is Becky’s world. When she came back, and all of us chose Bianca over her, that is when Becky knew! That is when she knew that she would sell her soul to keep the title.

Becky wants Bianca to know, she doesn’t have what it takes to beat Becky! Whip her with that hair, scar Becky’s body, crush her throat, but Becky will crush her worse. Bianca didn’t mean to damage Becky, but Becky meant to damage her, and that’s the difference! Eye for an eye, throat for a throat! And last week, Becky said she would come for the hair. But Bianca’s not here. Maybe that’s because Becky hospitalized Bianca like Bianca did her. Or maybe that if Becky takes the thing that means the most to Bianca, Bianca’s hair, crown, identity, that she will lose a part of her soul.

“Bianca, you don’t wanna lose your souls. I’ve already sold mine.” And Becky will sell it every day of the week and twice on Mondays if it means keeping the title on her shoulder! So then, Bianca. Becky will ask you: What does it profit a man to gain the world and lose his soul? Becky will show Bianca and everyone at WrestleMania, if Bianca makes it. The Man has said her piece, but how, and where, will Bianca respond?

 

Backstage interview with Austin Theory.

What is his reaction to Pat McAfee’s “apology” on SmackDown? Theory doesn’t care if Pat wasn’t sincere or not. He’s just a dumb jock! But he did do something smart: he apologized and kept his job. Smart man. But while Pat had a great NFL career, he has no business getting in the ring with Theory. Theory’s mentor, Mr. Vince McMahon, will see Theory beat Pat at WrestleMania. Theory could even get Pat fired as a commentator! Well, then how has Theory prepared for tonight’s match with Finn Balor? Theory has so many selfies of a knocked out Balor in his phone, Theory’s running out of storage! But he might have room for just one more on HIS road to WrestleMania!

Since Theory is WrestleMania bound, Finn knows what it is: A Town Down! But will it be Theory who is down on the mat this close to his showdown with Pat McAfee?

 

Veer is finally coming!

April 4th, the Raw after the most stupendous WrestleMania Weekend, the Million Dollar Arm finally arrives! But who will this lion on the hunt choose to go after first?

 

Finn Balor VS Austin Theory!

Raw returns and the WWE United States Champion makes his entrance. But then we’re getting a special guest commentator? It’s PAT MCAFEE! Theory is furious but what does he expect given all the visits he’s made to SmackDown? The bell rings, Theory ties up with Finn and Finn waistlocks. Theory elbows out and headlocks but Finn powers out. Theory runs Finn over but Finn gets up while Theory is shouting at Pat. Pat tells him to shut up, and Finn rolls Theory up! TWO and Theory kicks Finn low! Theory throws forearms, then puts Finn against ropes for shots to the back.

Theory whips Finn but Finn reverses. Theory sunset flips but Finn rolls through to basement dropkick! Finn KICKS Theory at the ropes, stomps him down, but Theory falls out of the ring. Fans fire up, Pat creeps over and mocks Theory’s pain. Theory is mad, Pat does windmilling “SUCK IT” chops! Theory is furious, Finn SHOTGUNS Theory into barriers! Pat does a Finn Freeze, and he gets Too Sweets from Finn! The fans fire up and Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Theory has a rear bearhug. He squeezes and thrashes Finn to the mat, but Finn endures while fans rally up. Pat leaves commentary again to drum the apron and rally the fans more. Theory is distracted, Finn fights up, and Finn pries free, only for Theory to knee low. Theory puts Finn in a corner but Finn BOOTS back! Finn rallies with forearms, whips but Theory reverses, only to get a FLYING FOREARM! Finn then trips Theory and DOUBLE STOMPS! Pat gets ideas for what he’ll do to Theory, as Finn runs in and CHOPS Theory in the corner! Finn whips corner to corner, but Theory blocks!

Theory kicks Finn out literally, then he bumps Finn off the desk! Theory says this will be Pat at Mania! But Finn blocks and body shots to smack Theory off the desk! Again and again! Pat says hell yeah that’ll be him! FInn puts Theory in to SLINGBLADE! And then SHOTGUN DROPKICK! Theory hits buckles and falls into the drop zone! Fans fire up as Finn goes up! COUP DE- NO! Theory dodges, cradles, TWO!! Finn escapes, but Theory CLOBBERS him! Theory rains down fists, Pat gets on the apron to shout at Theory! Theory snarls, Pat jumps away and the fans fire up for “PAT! PAT!” Theory drags Finn up, fireman’s carry, but Finn slips off to KICK!

Finn KICKS Theory more, then gets around to dragon sleeper. Theory powers through, fisherman hooks the leg, AOI SHODOU! Cover, TWO!! Finn survives and Pat is fired up again! Theory snarls, tells Pat to watch this, and he goes to the apron. But Pat distracts him again! The ref warns Pat but Pat just says he’ll stay over here. Theory slingshots, but Finn catches him in a cradle! FINN WINS!

Winner: Finn Balor, by pinfall

Theory is furious but Pat and Finn are celebrating! Will Theory go complain to Vince McMahon about this? Will Vince just chalk it up to, “Expect the unexpected?”

 

BREAKING NEWS!

The Raw Tag Team Championship match at WrestleMania will now be a TRIPLE THREAT! The Street Profits get their shot, but so does the Alpha Academy! And speaking of…

RKBRO VS The Alpha Academy!

The tables have turned and now the Viper and Stallion will be in a match that doesn’t mathematically favor them. But will they prove they still have the number of Chad Gable & Otis here 2v2? Or is this the chance for Gable & Otis to win it all back #ForTheAcademy?

Raw returns and the Academy makes their entrance. Gable has the mic and he of course says, “SHOOOOSH! Shoosh, please. So that I can explain that what you witnessed us do last week was called retribution.” Gable knows the crime rate is much higher than the literacy rate in Chicago, so he’ll spell this out for the dumdums! That means they got vengeance for being wronged. And believe him when he says RKBRO committed a wrong when they accepted a title match with anyone other than the Academy. Luckily, vengeance was served! You can’t get one over on Master Gable and his big, beautiful brain.

Especially when Gable is standing next to this tree trunk of a man, his greatest student, Otis! Step aside, Batman, this is the new face of vengeance! They get in the ring now, and Gable says RKBRO messed things up making it a Triple Threat. But the Academy will prevail, and it will be the most stupendous night when they walk out the Raw Tag Team Champions. A THANK YEW~! The teams sort out, Orton starts with Gable and fans fire up as the two tie up. Gable wrenches, hammerlocks, headlocks, then wrenches to wristlock. Orton endures but Gable steps over to wrench the arm more.

Orton fights up, wrenches out and EuroUppers Gable down! Tag to Riddle, they work together for an ASSISTED FLOATING BRO! Cover, ONE! Gable uppercuts Riddle, and BUTTERFLY SUPLEXES, with a bridging cover! TWO, but Gable tags Otis in. Gable tackles Riddle and has the legs, catapult into Otis’ BODY BLOCK! Fans boo while Otis roars, and Otis stomps Riddle down. Otis tags Gable back in, Gable bumps Riddle off buckles. Gable fires off forearms, whips corner to corner, but Riddle goes up and over and spins Gable for a PELE! Riddle handsprings, runs in and forearm smashes, then he DECKS Otis!

Riddle gets Gable for a BROSPLODER! The Academy regroup but Riddle goes out. Gable blocks the Penalty Kick to trip Riddle! Then Otis POUNCES Riddle to barriers! Fans boo but the Academy stands tall as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Riddle runs into a ROLLING ELBOW! Gable chickens wings, but Riddle victory rolls through! TWO, Riddle DECKS Otis! Riddle dodges Gable, hot tag to Orton! Orton rallies on Gable, dodge sand POWERSLAMS! Fans fire up and Orton puts Gable through ropes! But Otis hurries up, only for Orton to fire off on him! Orton climbs up the corner to CLUB away on Otis’ back, then he DECKS Otis! But Gable HOTSHOTS Orton back! Only for Orton to KICK him in the ropes! Orton has Gable back in position, DRAPING DDT! Fans fire up and Orton hears those voices!

Orton waits on Gable, but Gable powers out! Tag to Riddle, Gable gets around to GERMAN SUPLEX Orton !Orton staggers up, Gable clotheslines him out! Gable turns around, ducks the roundhouse and waistlocks to put Riddle in a corner! CHAOS THEORY!! But Riddle slips out!? FINAL FLASH, to a gut wrench! BRO DEREK!! Cover, RKBRO wins!

Winners: RKBRO, by pinfall

But Otis RAMS Orton into barriers, and then gets in to CLOBBER Riddle! The Dozer does not care that they lost the match, he’s going to ensure they have the edge going into the title match! Otis has Riddle in a drop zone, then he goes up top, but here come the STRET PROFITS! They DUMP Otis out, whip Gable and hit a FLAPJACK DDT!! Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins help Riddle up, and Riddle is thankful, but he gets the ANOINTING! And then Ford goes up, and comes in FROM THE HEAVENS! The Profits are wearing Chicago Bulls style jerseys, are they going to have a Jordan style performance at WrestleMania?

 

WWE shares a digital exclusive.

Dana Brooke says it is thanks to Reggie that she is still WWE 24/7 Champion. Well maybe it was their good luck kiss? Yeah, Dana did feel a little inspired. But wait! Akira Tozawa drops in while sliding down a pole! Reggie wants Tozawa to wait, but Tozawa says Dana cheated! Dana cheated the woman of Tozawa’s dreams out of that title! No she didn’t! But then Tamina attacks from behind! A brawl ensues, Dana manages to put Tamina into a trunk but Tamina knocks her down! R-Truth pushes Tamina aside but Tamina keep shim from covering! Reggie shoves Tozawa into Tamina and then he gets Dana outta there!

Tamina and Tozawa are down on the ground together, and Tozawa asks, “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Tamina grabs him by the face, and says, “Yeah. You let them get away!!” Tamina denies Tozawa a kiss now, but will he earn a kiss in tonight’s rematch?

Tornado Mixed Tag Match: Dana Brooke & Reggie VS Tamina & Akira Tozawa!

No more need for tagging in or out, what happens when these two very different pairs of love birds battle it out with no limitations?

Raw returns and Tamina & Tozawa make their entrance. The bell rings and Dana and Reggie combine! They want to do a game of chicken! But Tozawa can’t lift Tamina… So instead, Tozawa gets on Tamina’s shoulders! They tie up like this, Dana SLAPS Tozawa! Tamina kicks Reggie! Reggie drops, so Dana kicks Tamina! Tozawa falls on his face, then staggers up into Reggie’s kick! Reggie and Dana double whip Tozawa into Tamina! Dana then handspring back elbows them together! Tozawa falls first, but then Tamina falls head first into Tozawa’s ninja stars! Dana then KICKS Tamina out of the ring!

Reggie hits the 450 SEATED SENTON! Cover, Reggie & Dana win!

Winners: Dana Brooke & Reggie, by pinfall

Dana mocks Tozawa’s pain, then dances with Reggie. Tamina drags Tozawa out of the ring. He can’t really walk, so Tamina carries him away. Will they make a comeback and get that title from Dana somehow?

 

Raw has BIG plans for next week!

After the utter disrespect The Miz showed Rey Mysterio, the A-Lister and King of Lucha will go 1v1 before the tag match at WrestleMania! And speaking of tag matches, after the Profits went hard on RKBRO and the Alpha Academy, Ford & Dawkins take on Gable & Otis days before the Raw Tag title match! Plus, the four teams in the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship Fatal 4 will go 4v4! 8 Woman Tag of Liv, Rhea, Sasha Banks & Naomi VS Shayna, Natty, Mella & Vega! Will the teams be able to coexist? Which side comes away with the momentum going into the most stupendous WrestleMania Weekend ever?

 

AJ Styles VS Seth Rollins!

This is it! Either the Visionary beats the Phenomenal One and takes away his showdown with Edge, or there is absolutely NOTHING for Rollins at WrestleMania! Will the Pitbull inside Styles take a bite out of Rollins? Or will Rollins get a chance at redemption from Crown Jewel?

Raw returns and Rollins makes his entrance. The bell rings and fans sing Rollins’ theme as he circles with Styles. They tie up but Rollins slips away to soak up the admiration. Rollins and Styles tie up again and Styles wrenches an arm to a wristlock. Rollins rolls, handsprings, breaks free, and does Scott Hall fingers at Styles. They circle again, tie up, and Styles headlocks now. Styles grinds Rollins, Rollins powers up but Styles holds tight. Rollins fights up, throws Styles away and then dodges. Things speed up. Rollins goes the other way to redirect Styles and SLINGBLADE! Fans are torn as Rollins paces around.

Rollins brings Styles up, underhooks, but no Pedigree as Styles back drops free! Styles runs corner to corner but Rollins dodges! Rollins runs in but Styles throws him out and Rollins hits apron! Styles aims and slingshots, FLYING FOREARM! Rollins is down and fans fire up as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns again and Rollins has Styles in a cravat neck wrench. Rollins grinds Styles down but fans rally as Styles endures. Rollins tells Styles this isn’t personal, it’s WrestleMania. Styles fights up, reaches out, but Rollins keeps him from ropes. Styles throws body shots, but Rollins KNEE Styles down! Rollins gets Styles up, back suplexes, but Styles lands on his feet! Styles CHOPS and CHOPS and whips, but Rollins kicks, only for Styles to block! Styles CLUBS the leg, KNEES the knee, and hits a DRAGON SCREW! Rollins goes to a corner, Styles storms over, but Rollins throws haymakers!

Styles runs back in, but Rollins dodges and Styles COLLIDES with buckles! Styles flops out of the ring, the count begins! The count is 5 of 10, Styles drags himself up at 7, hobbles over at 8 and gets in at 9! Rollins stomps Styles at the ropes but the ref counts. Rollins drags Styles up to hit a NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Rollins grows frustrated but he stalks Styles to a corner. Rollins CHOPS Styles now, then CHOPS him again! Styles falls over, fans cheer and jeer, but Rollins gets Styles up to the top rope backwards, Tree of Woe! Rollins runs corner to corner, HESITATION DROPKICK! Rollins drags Styles to a cover, TWO!

Styles is dazed but somehow he survives. Rollins is annoyed, he pushes Styles’ hand away, then tells him this is HIS WrestleMania moment! But Styles hits back with counter punches! Styles fires off more haymakers, but Rollins knees low! Rollins whips corner to corner, but Styles BOOTS him back! Styles goes out, springboards, but Rollins trips him up! Styles takes another tumble out of the ring, and Rollins builds speed! DIVE! Direct hit and Styles hits the desk! Rollins looks to the WrestleMania sign with wild eyes and a smile as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns once again and Rollins again has Styles in a cravat neck wrench. Styles endures and fights up again but Rollins headbutts him and throws elbows! Fans boo but Rollins tells Styles that this isn’t personal! Rollins actually likes Styles! He wants Styles to go home to his family! Rollins SLAPS Styles down, then slaps him more! Rollins says he needs this then he slaps Styles again! Styles SLAPS and SLAPS and forearms Rollins back! Rollins throws just as many forearms back, but Styles fires off the Phenomenal Blitz! LARIAT! Fans fire up as Styles hits a SLIDING FOREARM!

Rollins gets to a corner and Styles runs in, BIG forearm smash, to USHIGOROSHI! Cover, TWO! Rollins survives but Styles keeps his cool. Styles gets himself back up, brings Rollins around and reels him in. But Rollins jackknifes, TWO!! Styles dodges to CHOP and atomic FACEBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Styles and Rollins are both down, Chicago says “This is Awesome!” Styles gets up, drags Rollins up and reels him in, but Rollins slips out! Rollins spins Styles to ROLLING ELBOW! Then a FALCON ARROW! Cover, TWO! Rollins gets to a corner, he aims as Styles rises, but Styles catches the stomp for a-

NO! No bomb as Rollins ranas through! TWO, and Styles sunset flips, TWO! Rollins high stacks, TWO, to a deadlift, but Styles fights the buckle bomb to snap suplex into buckles! Both men are down in the corner and fans rally up. Styles drags himself up, he steps over Rollins and goes up the corner. But Rollins gets up to ROCK Styles first! Styles sits on the corner, Rollins climbs up to join him. Rollins goes to the very top but Styles resists! Styles knocks Rollins down, adjusts, but Rollins gets right up top! Styles slips out and trips Rollins! Then torture rack, for a TOWER HACKER BOMB! Cover, TWO!!

Both men are down but stirring. Styles gets up first, he goes to a corner and aims from the apron! Springboard, PHENOMENAL SUPERKICK! Rollins gets Styles out of midair, then gets him up for a BUCKLE BOMB! Rollins goes up top, looks to the sign, FROG SPLASH onto knees!! Both men are down again as Styles saves himself! Styles resets on the apron, Rollins rushes over, but Styles ROCKS him with a forearm! But then someone SMACKS Styles with a chair!! It’s EDGE!!

Winner: AJ Styles, by disqualification; will still face Edge at WrestleMania 38

The Rated R Superstar, the Ultimate Opportunist, SMACKS Styles with the chair again! He not only robbed his enemy Rollins of a WrestleMania moment, he just ensured his WrestleMania opponent in Styles is still not 100%! Two birds, one chair shot! Rollins is livid, understandably, and he starts throwing things around ringside! He snatches a mic from Mike Rome and gets up on the desk to vent. “This! Is! BULLSH*T!!” Rollins says next week, Raw will not happen unless Rollins gets what he deserves! He WILL have his WrestleMania moment!

Rollins keeps shouting BS and fans chant for “CODY! CODY!” as Rollins tarts ripping at the ringside barrier! Rollins even tips over the announce desk, the steel steps, and he pulls off part of the LED casing on a corner post! Rollins’ rage finally quiets, but will it reignite on the last Raw before WrestleMania?


My Thoughts:

This was a pretty great Raw. For one, what a great little swerve from Kevin Owens pretending to be Steve Austin. He kept character the whole time, maybe even for when that guy failed to throw him beer cans. Well, that could’ve been Kevin’s honest feelings, too, but it still worked. The Mysterios get a tag win to keep up momentum on Raw, though the Dirty Dawgs taking the loss makes me think RawDown needs to expand by at least one tag team each. Dawgs could have just been left out while they’re also part of NXT and that other team could’ve taken the loss. But the main thing was, Miz snatching away Rey’s mask was to get him more heat. Chances are, Logan really does wear that mask for next week’s go-home.

Omos gets another win but I say again, is this really doing Omos any good? He’s becoming the strongest superstar without a title. And honestly, why doesn’t he already have a title? Realistically speaking, his undefeated singles streak should have put him in the US Championship story a long time ago. But then, Finn probably wouldn’t have the title. Finn had a very good match with Theory, but Pat McAfee showing up was also a great part of it. I was hoping Pat would visit Raw like this, and he helps Finn win over Theory, but let’s just hope the story doesn’t become Finn having to defend that title against a lot of people as punishment. Actually, maybe it should. Finn winning a big match would be great for him. But I just fear that it would be Vince’s way (kayfabe and shoot) of getting that title off Finn.

I really like what we got out of the RawDown Women’s Tag Division. Vega and Mella brawling backstage was a bit premature of the tensions I was hoping would boil over, but of course they only tease it to have these two patch things up on the same night. Rhea & Liv VS Shayna & Natty was great stuff, and at least we got a decision before Mella & Vega attacked everyone. The 8 Woman Tag will be a lot of fun, but I feel like the Heels win to have the go-home math say the champs lose. At least, I hope so. That tension tease tonight, the fact there are three other teams, Mella and Vega really should have a story against each other.

Veer finally has a date! At this point, of course they’re waiting until after WrestleMania. For his sake, let’s hope he doesn’t get Dan Matha’d. The 24/7 Division has become an extension of the NXThirst we see on Tuesdays, but there’s still good chemistry and comedy in the segments. I was hoping that the co-ed nature of the Tornado Mixed Tag was going to lead to Tozawa taking the title off Dana, and then literally lying down for Tamina to give the title to her. Becky had a very good promo, though part of it was based on her social media post from when her throat got injured. But I suppose that’s the poetic justice off her promo. Hopefully Bianca’s injury is just kayfabe and they’re using it so Bianca has a “miraculous” return to then have her Mania match and title win.

We got a great segment out of the Raw Tag Team Championship picture. Another Triple Threat has been made so WWE is really going hard for this WrestleMania season. RKBRO VS Academy was great stuff, great win for RKBRO and what a way for the Profits to show off their new aggression. But wow, that Flapjack DDT is nuts, I almost thought Gable got hurt there. Profits VS Academy is going to be a good go-home match, and there will be a lot of telling signs in the go-home math there for who wins at Mania.

And last but not least, in a rehash that was actually creative, Rollins tries to take away Styles’ moment while also going after his old foe, Edge. Great promos from Rollins and Styles, as well as interactions with management, and naturally a phenomenal match. Edge attacking was actually brilliant stuff. It’s exactly what Heel Edge, whether now or in the past, would’ve done. We still get Edge VS Styles, and Rollins got to throw one heck of a tantrum. Haven’t seen someone rip up the post casing like that before, so that was cool. And Rollins wanting to hijack the go-home episode next week, that will definitely be a great moment to set up Rollins’ real Mania moment <cough> Cody Rhodes </cough>.

My Score: 8.4/10

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