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Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (3/21/22)

3, 2, 1, RAW!

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WWE Raw 2022

Grudges all over this Monday night!

The Raw Women’s Champion, Becky Lynch, will explain herself, while RKBRO takes on The Alpha Academy, and Finn Balor goes after Austin Theory!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • The Mysterios VS The Dirty Dawgs; The Mysterios win.
  • 2v1 Handicap Match: Apollo Crews & Commander Azeez VS Omos; Omos wins.
  • Liv Morgan & Rhea Ripley VS Shayna Baszler & Natalya; Shayna & Natalya win.
  • Finn Balor VS Austin Theory; Balor wins.
  • RKBRO VS The Alpha Academy; RKBRO wins.
  • Tornado Mixed Tag Match: Dana Brooke & Reggie VS Tamina & Akira Tozawa; Dana & Reggie win.
  • AJ Styles VS Seth Rollins; Styles wins, by disqualification, and will face Edge at WrestleMania 38.

PLAY BY PLAY

STONE COLD is here?!

Fans fire up for the glass shattering, but it’s really just Kevin Owens doing a bad Steve Austin cosplay. The Prizefighter tricked everyone in Chicago, and perhaps even us here watching at home. Fans now boo as Kevin continues to copy Austin’s mannerisms. Kevin then gets a mic to ask Chicago if they wanna see him open up a can of whoop ass on Stone Cold. Kevin says if they’re ready to see him raise hell on that sorry SOB, give him a hell yeah! They boo instead. What? What? What? WHAT?! Fans chant “You Suck!” but Kevin continues the charade.

Kevin pretends to be Austin as he says he heard all the things that Kevin said about Texas. And they were horrible things, but all true! That got Austin’s attention, and so when Kevin invited Austin to the most stupendous KO Show of all time, we all saw that horrible video. Austin stood in the middle of nowhere and pretended to be badass in front of his little golf cart! Austin didn’t know what to do so he just decided to run his mealy mouth and accepted the invitation without thinking. But that’s the problem, Austin doesn’t think much these days. The lights are on but is anybody home? UH-UH!

Fans boo but Kevin keeps going. “Now, well, here we are. I am goin’ to WrestleMania, I am goin’ to the KO Show.” Fans chant, “We Want Austin!” and then the glass shatters again! Kevin freaks out, looks around, but this was another fake-out. Kevin laughs and fans boo more. “What’s that saying? Fool you once, shame on you. Fool you twice, shame on… well, you, for being absolute idiots! And that’s the bottom line, because Stone Cold said so!” Now the only thing left to do for ol’ Stone Cold is drink some beer, get that liquid courage before Kevin gives Austin the ass kicking of a lifetime!

Kevin catches- Well, nope. He drops that first one. And the second. As if Kevin didn’t feel foolish before coming out here. He has the music stop and he asks the bald guy where he learned to throw beer. Maybe he’s from Chicago! Just take a beer, get in the ring, and hand it to Kevin. The guy does as he’s told, and Kevin congratulates him. “Now get your sorry ass out of my ring. No, wait.” STUNNER! Kevin even mocks Austin’s way of talking trash to someone. Kevin then pops the beer cans open, says cheers, and pours it all out on the poor guy. Kevin then throws the beer to the stage, cuz he doesn’t drink beer.

Kevin steps on the guy, goes up the corner, and Kevin’s music plays. But while he’s joking around now, will he be doing anything but laughing after WrestleMania?

 

Backstage interview with Seth Rollins.

What is the Visionary’s state of mind knowing he still is not on WrestleMania’s card? Rollins takes a moment to think while fans chant, “Cody! Cody!” Rollins then starts to laugh… Rollins says he’s going to borrow this mic. Rollins heads out, but what will he have to say?

 

The Mysterios VS The Dirty Dawgs!

Rey & Dominik are preparing to take down The Miz & Logan Paul, by going up against the NXT Champion, Dolph Ziggler, and Robert Roode! Will one of the Mysterio familia end up earning an NXT Championship opportunity while warming up for the A-Lister and the influencer?

Raw returns as the Dawgs make their entrance. But of course, The Miz makes his entrance, too! The Most Must-See Superstar is going to join commentary while his buddies take on his WrestleMania opponents. The teams sort out, Dom starts against Ziggler and they circle. They tie up, Dom headlocks but Ziggler powers out. Things speed up, Ziggler hurdles, Dom rolls and arm-drags! Ziggler shakes out that arm, Dom fires off forearms! Dom knuckle locks, goes up and up and FLYING ARM-DRAGS! Ziggler flops out of the ring and Dom goes out after him, only for Ziggler to RAM him into the apron!

Ziggler puts Dom in, tags Roode, and the Dawgs double whip Dom to double hip toss for the POWERBOMB NECKBREAKER! Cover, Rey breaks it! Ziggler ROCKS Rey, throws him out, but Rey shoulders back in! Rey slingshots to headscissor Ziggler up and out! Dom slips out of Roode’s back suplex, dropkicks Roode to ropes, then the Mysterios coordinate! They both build speed, DOUBLE DIVE at the corner! Down go the Dawgs, but here comes Rollins?! The Visionary says “cut it down,” because no no no, this show isn’t going to move another second until the world hears what he has to say!

Rollins wants a WrestleMania spot, and he’ll get a WrestleMania spot, because he is Seth FREAKIN’ Rollins! And he doesn’t want just any spot! He wants a spot on WrestleMania that- Wait, his mic is cutting out. Rollins says he wants a spot that’ll live forever! He- Wait, it cut again. What’s going on? Hey, leave him on! Rollins wanted Stone Cold last week because that’ll live forever, but now he- The mic’s cut again! So they’re trying to shut Rollins up, huh? Huh?! Well you can’t! But then Raw cuts to break.

Raw returns and Ziggler has Rey up top! Rey resists the superplex, throws body shots, and he CLUBS Ziggler down! Rey headbutts Ziggler away, BOOTS Roode, then adjusts to leap, SEATED SENTON! Both men are down and fans fire up! Rey crawls, Ziggler grabs a foot, but Rey ENZIGURIS Ziggler away! Roode tags in, and he hurries to get Rey’s foot! Roode drags Rey away, then DECKS Dom! Roode scoops Rey, carries him around, but Rey swings to TORNADO DDT Roode down! Hot tag to Dom! Dom goes up, he leaps, CROSSBODY! Then he dodges Roode, RANAS Roode, and runs in, but is put o the apron.

Dom HOTSHOTS Roode, fires up and slingshot sentons! Dom then gets around Roode to NECKBREAKER! Cover, Ziggler breaks it! Ziggler swings, Dom gets around, CUTTER! Rey leaps but Ziggler avoids it! Roode gives Dom a SPINEBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Miz says that’s Dom’s inexperience, he should remember to keep his head on a swivel. Roode gets Dom up, but Dom slips out of the DDT to roll Roode up! TWO!! Dom drop toeholds Roode to ropes! 619 from Dom! Dom goes up, FROG SPLASH! Cover, Mysterios win!

Winners: The Mysterios, by pinfall

SUPERKICK from Ziggler to Dom! Rey chases Ziggler, Miz BODIES Rey! Then SKULL CRUSHING FINALE to the floor! Miz gets his shot in, and then he TAKES REY’S MASK!! The ultimate disrespect from the ultimate glory hog! Will he and Logan Paul do just as awful to the Mysterios at WrestleMania?

 

Seth Rollins talks with management.

He’s almost still laughing as he says Adam Pearce & Sonya Deville are of course trying to shut him up. They know what he wants: the biggest spotlight possible at WrestleMania! It doesn’t matter if it’s night one or night two, he wants it! Pearce tells him disrupting the show like a lunatic won’t get him what he wants. And what will? Relying on these two buffoons for anything? Sonya says they understand he’s frustrated. But they gave him a chance to beat Kevin Owens and replace him, but he failed. Pearce says we can all calm down, and maybe there is something they can do. Rollins laughs and leaves, but will management be able to find him anything? Will they want to?

 

The Miz talks on the phone backstage.

He and Maryse are both giddy over what he just did. The mask came right off! The easiest thing he’s ever done! But Kevin Patrick interrupts and Miz does the “No I love you more” with Maryse before hanging up. KP asks why Miz did that to Rey, and Miz says that KP may not know this, but as a child, Logan Paul was a huge Mysterio fan. Logan’s always wanted a Mysterio mask of his own. But as the saying goes, never meet your heroes. Logan found out Rey was a jerk, and that Dom is even worse. The Mysterios have shown Miz and Logan nothing but disrespect, and have done nothing but try to humiliate them! But Miz didn’t try, he DID humiliate Rey!

Miz goes Hamlet and says, ‘To humiliate, or not to humiliate. To humiliate the Mysterios!” The Most Must-See Tag Team will beat them at WrestleMania! And Logan, this is all for you! And Miz dares Logan to wear it next week! BOOYAKA BOOYAKA! But will this disrespect not go unpunished before WrestleMania?

 

2v1 Handicap Match: Apollo Crews & Commander Azeez VS Omos!

The Pride of Nigeria and his personal bodyguard have already been dominated by this mountain of a man 1v1, but will working together be what topples him? Or will Omos reach another level of unstoppable?

Raw returns and Apollo & Azeez make their entrance. They flank the ring, Omos goes after Azeez but he gets away and Apollo dropkicks Omos in the back! Omos stay sup, but then Azeez anchors a foot! Omos still shoves Apollo away, then he grabs Azeez by the hair! Apollo ENZIGURIS Omos, and Azeez drags Omos down to fire off haymakers! But Omos choke grips! Apollo runs in but into another choke grip! Azeez clubs free, kicks low and fires off forearms Omos UPPERCUTS and Azeez wobbles! Omos choke grips Apollo, but Azeez POSTS Omos! Omos staggers, Apollo gets in the ring and he wants the bell!

The ref says they have to wait for Omos. Omos gets up, palms Apollo’s head like a basketball and shoves him away! Omos gets in the ring, he shouts at the ref for the bell and the bell sounds! This is finally official and Apollo runs in, into a BOOT! Apollo tags Azeez in, and Azeez circles with Omos again. Omos tells the punk to show him something! Azeez runs in, Omos dodges and then scoops! He carries Azeez around and then SLAMS Azeez down! Apollo leaps but into Omos’ arms! Omos laughs as he pops Apollo up to a fireman’s carry and TOSS! Azeez runs in again, into a ROUNDHOUSE!!

Omos drags Apollo up, shows him what happened to Azeez, and says it is Apollo’s fault! Azeez tries to get up but Omos TWO HAND SLAMS Apollo down right next to him! Omos stacks these two, covers them, and wins!

Winner: Omos, by pinfall

There’s just no way Omos is merely human! And he gets a mic to say, “It doesn’t matter how big they are. It doesn’t matter how many of them there are. All that means is I am undefeated and I am unstoppable! And anybody who has the BALLS to step up against me, whether it’s Monday Night Raw or WrestleMania, they are all gonna be dominated!” Will Omos prove his supreme dominance time and time again?

 

AJ Styles is back!

After being gone for weeks because of what Edge did to him, the Phenomenal One returns! And he’ll respond to the Rated R Superstar’s ramblings, after the break!

Raw returns and Styles looks at the WrestleMania sign. Styles has the mic to say, “Chicago.” Fans fire up and chant his name. Styles continues to say that for the past two weeks, he’s been missing out on stuff like this. He’s been at home, nursing an injury. He had nothing but time on his hands. And if you have enough time on your hands, it can be a dangerous thing. Styles watched that clip of what Edge did to him with that chair over, and over, and over again, tot he point where he was going crazy! Styles didn’t want to be around his wife and kids, he just wanted to be alone. And lo and behold, who’s on TV but Edge?

Edge has his mood lighting and his mouth is spewing nonsense as he answers, “Why?” But Styles doesn’t care why. He isn’t here to ask why or to get answers. He’s here to kick Edge’s teeth down his throat! Styles says Edge wanted the Pitbull, so he’ll get him! But why wait until WrestleMania?! Edge can come out now and get what’s coming to him! “Be a man and get out here!” Styles paces and waits, but when Edge doesn’t show, Styles calls him a coward! But wait! Here comes Seth Rollins! The Visionary has a mic again and he joins Styles in the ring. Fans chant “Cody!” at him but Rollins has that simmer down. Rumors are fun, but they don’t make moments! And Rollins is living for W WrestleMania moment!

Styles tells Rollins to “cut the crap” and get to what he wants. Rollins says he’s here because like everyone else, he is concerned about Styles’ health and safety. After what Edge did to Styles, is Styles physically and emotionally capable of fighting Edge at WrestleMania? Rollins has a proposition. Styles should go home to his wife and kids, hug them close, get 100%, and come back after WrestleMania. Let Rollins do what he should’ve done in Hell in a Cell and end Edge’s career on the Grandest Stage of Them All! Because THAT is a moment worthy of Seth Freakin’ Rollins! Think about it, Styles.

No, he doesn’t have to think about it. Styles won’t let Rollins take his spot. So long as he can walk, Styles will be at WrestleMania facing Edge. Oh, so as long as he’s able to walk, hmm? So if for some unfortunate reason, Styles got taken out, Rollins could have the spot? Styles sees what this is. This is what Rollins tried to do to Kevin. Rollins admits it sounds pretty great to him. What about it, Chicago? Rollins VS Styles, winner takes on Edge at WrestleMania! Desperate times call for desperate measures! And Rollins is running outta options! Styles says Rollins comes out, dressed like an idiot, and also delusional. Styles is NOT giving up his spot at WrestleMania.

But y’know what? Styles will do what Rollins couldn’t. Styles will destroy Edge, and then we can get back to this. How does that sound? Adam Pearce walks out, and Sonya is also here. Rollins doesn’t want them raining on his parade! But he’s been talking about getting a WrestleMania moment, and they talked it over. Rollins will get one last chance. If he can defeat AJ Styles tonight, he will replace AJ Styles at WrestleMania! Rollins is fired up but Styles is furious, much like Kevin Owens last week! So Styles DECKS Rollins and rains down fists! Rollins bails out and gets back up the ramp, laughing all the way!

Rollins has one more opportunity to go to WrestleMania, but will he win it this time? Or will Styles beat him, just as Kevin Owens did last week?

 

Queen Zelina finds Carmella backstage.

But Mella is too busy on her phone. What’s up, girl? Uh, what’s up is Mella’s total lack of focus just two weeks away from WrestleMania! They’re supposed to have each other’s backs, but all Mella can do is focus on herself. Mella says Zelina needs to stop freaking out. Mella is focused on Mania. It might be Vega not watching Mella’s back while Mella has very important things going on in her life. Well, Vega is doing enough work for the both of then. Mella is too busy with her wedding and her stupid little reality YouTube show! Their titles are on the line in a FATAL 4 WAY!!

Yes, Mella knows how those work. Four teams competing at once, the champs don’t have to be pinned or submitted to lose the belts. Blah, blah, blah. Vega snatches the phone and throws it away! Is the “ugly bridezilla” seriously not taking this seriously? Uh, that phone cost more than that tacky dollar store crown on the little hobbit’s head!! And then Mella SLAPS Vega! Vega takes off the crown, to fire off on Mella! They’re brawling and security rushes over to stop it! How are these two supposed to retain their titles when they’re at each other’s throats?!

 

AJ Styles barges into the management office.

What are they doing?! Why are they risking Styles’ match with Edge because Rollins is crying like a child? And don’t waste your breath explaining, Pearce sucks at this. And Styles hasn’t exactly heard good things about Sonya, either. Styles will beat Rollins and keep his WrestleMania moment.

 

Liv Morgan & Rhea Ripley VS Shayna Baszler & Natalya!

Speaking of that coming WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship match, #Liv4Brutality is in action again, looking to settle things with the Queen of Spades & Queen of Harts after what happened on SmackDown! Will Liv & Rhea make Shayna & Natty pay for raising the stakes? Or will someone #TapNapOrSnap to these submission specialists?

Raw returns and the Queens make their entrances. The teams sort out, Shayna starts against Rhea. They circle, tie up, and Rhea gets around to waistlock and slam! Shayna fights up, pries free and bends Rhea’s arm around to a double wristlock! But Rhea scoops and SLAMS free of it! Rhea drags Shayna back up, but Shayna swings on Rhea. Rhea blocks to ROCK Shayna, but Shayna hits back! Shayna fires off strikes, kicks but the knee misses! Rhea HEADBUTTS, then runs to dropkick! Fans fire up with Rhea and she atomic FACEBUSTERS! Tag to Liv, and Liv runs to get a boost from Rhea, SENTON! Cover, TWO!

Liv drags Shayna up but Shayna wrenches the arm and drags Liv over. Tag to Natty, the Queens mug Liv, and then Natty whips Liv to a corner. Liv goes up and over and rolls back, then RANAS Natty down! Natty ends up in a corner, SHINING WIZARD from Liv! Liv shoves Natty down, Shayna storms over but Liv swipes at her! Shayna stays back, Natty gets Liv for a rebounds SIT-DOWN! Tag to Shayna, Natty steps on then basement dropkicks Liv! Shayna KNEES Liv down, cover, TWO! Liv survives but Shayna has a top wristlock. Shayna twists the wrist, focuses on the elbow, but Liv endures.

Wait, Mella storms out to ringside? She complains to Corey Graves about Vega, and Graves does his best to calm her down. Shayna ignores this while she keeps on Liv, but Liv fights up and arm-drags free! Liv runs, but Shayna keeps her from Rhea! Tag to Natty while Shayna throws hands, Liv fights back, throws Shayna out and BOOTS Natty down! Liv hurries over to the corner, but Shayna trips Rhea off the apron! Natty gets in but Liv cradles her, TWO! DISCUS from Natty! Natty hurries to tag Shayna, and the Queens drag Liv up. They coordinate, HART ATTACK! Cover, the Queens win!

Winners: Shayna Baszler & Natalya, by pinfall

Rhea rushes in but Shayna & Natty bail out! Mella complete missed the point of the match in the ring, but then Vega gets in to CLOBBER Rhea with her scepter! And then Mella RAMS Shayna into the apron! And ROCKS Natty, to whip her into steps! Mella dodges to FABULOUS KICK Shayna down! Mella and Vega stare down in the ring, but they realize they actually took care of everyone else. So they hug and make up! The champions are refocused, but will they still be able to defy the 25% odds?

 

WWE has a medical update on Bianca Belair.

Given Becky Lynch’s attack that involved a chair around Bianca’s neck, The EST has a fractured hyoid bone in her throat, and has been ruled out of action for an unspecified amount of time. Does this put her WrestleMania match with Becky in question? Speaking of…

Becky Lynch is here!

The Man has her Raw Women’s Championship and the chair that damaged Bianca, as well as somewhere between Tron and something Charlotte Flair wore not too long ago for an outfit. But what will #BigTimeBecks have to say about the roughEST attack she committed just last week? We find out, after the break.

Raw returns and Becky has taken a seat in the chair. She also has a mic to say, “There’s a question that I ask myself a lot. Maybe you ask it, too, but your minds don’t think in symphonies like mine does. ‘What does it profit a man to gain the world and lose is soul?'” Well first, what does it mean to even gain the world? To a lot of people, that can mean different things. Becky’s answer was about eight months ago, when she first faced Bianca at SummerSlam. But she’ll come back to that because it was 15 long months that Becky went without holding the belt. Not because anyone had beaten her for it, no. No one has beaten her for a title in three YEARS.

No, Becky was forced to give up the belt. Every day that went by grew more and more painful and agonizing. When the time came, Becky knew she’d do everything it took to get back Her Precious. “So what does it profit a man? It profits him this! The only thing that matters inside and outside the confines of these ropes! For this is everything I am. I am power, I am glory, I am the prize at the top of the mountain!” This is Becky’s world. When she came back, and all of us chose Bianca over her, that is when Becky knew! That is when she knew that she would sell her soul to keep the title.

Becky wants Bianca to know, she doesn’t have what it takes to beat Becky! Whip her with that hair, scar Becky’s body, crush her throat, but Becky will crush her worse. Bianca didn’t mean to damage Becky, but Becky meant to damage her, and that’s the difference! Eye for an eye, throat for a throat! And last week, Becky said she would come for the hair. But Bianca’s not here. Maybe that’s because Becky hospitalized Bianca like Bianca did her. Or maybe that if Becky takes the thing that means the most to Bianca, Bianca’s hair, crown, identity, that she will lose a part of her soul.

“Bianca, you don’t wanna lose your souls. I’ve already sold mine.” And Becky will sell it every day of the week and twice on Mondays if it means keeping the title on her shoulder! So then, Bianca. Becky will ask you: What does it profit a man to gain the world and lose his soul? Becky will show Bianca and everyone at WrestleMania, if Bianca makes it. The Man has said her piece, but how, and where, will Bianca respond?

 

Backstage interview with Austin Theory.

What is his reaction to Pat McAfee’s “apology” on SmackDown? Theory doesn’t care if Pat wasn’t sincere or not. He’s just a dumb jock! But he did do something smart: he apologized and kept his job. Smart man. But while Pat had a great NFL career, he has no business getting in the ring with Theory. Theory’s mentor, Mr. Vince McMahon, will see Theory beat Pat at WrestleMania. Theory could even get Pat fired as a commentator! Well, then how has Theory prepared for tonight’s match with Finn Balor? Theory has so many selfies of a knocked out Balor in his phone, Theory’s running out of storage! But he might have room for just one more on HIS road to WrestleMania!

Since Theory is WrestleMania bound, Finn knows what it is: A Town Down! But will it be Theory who is down on the mat this close to his showdown with Pat McAfee?

 

Veer is finally coming!

April 4th, the Raw after the most stupendous WrestleMania Weekend, the Million Dollar Arm finally arrives! But who will this lion on the hunt choose to go after first?

 

Finn Balor VS Austin Theory!

Raw returns and the WWE United States Champion makes his entrance. But then we’re getting a special guest commentator? It’s PAT MCAFEE! Theory is furious but what does he expect given all the visits he’s made to SmackDown? The bell rings, Theory ties up with Finn and Finn waistlocks. Theory elbows out and headlocks but Finn powers out. Theory runs Finn over but Finn gets up while Theory is shouting at Pat. Pat tells him to shut up, and Finn rolls Theory up! TWO and Theory kicks Finn low! Theory throws forearms, then puts Finn against ropes for shots to the back.

Theory whips Finn but Finn reverses. Theory sunset flips but Finn rolls through to basement dropkick! Finn KICKS Theory at the ropes, stomps him down, but Theory falls out of the ring. Fans fire up, Pat creeps over and mocks Theory’s pain. Theory is mad, Pat does windmilling “SUCK IT” chops! Theory is furious, Finn SHOTGUNS Theory into barriers! Pat does a Finn Freeze, and he gets Too Sweets from Finn! The fans fire up and Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Theory has a rear bearhug. He squeezes and thrashes Finn to the mat, but Finn endures while fans rally up. Pat leaves commentary again to drum the apron and rally the fans more. Theory is distracted, Finn fights up, and Finn pries free, only for Theory to knee low. Theory puts Finn in a corner but Finn BOOTS back! Finn rallies with forearms, whips but Theory reverses, only to get a FLYING FOREARM! Finn then trips Theory and DOUBLE STOMPS! Pat gets ideas for what he’ll do to Theory, as Finn runs in and CHOPS Theory in the corner! Finn whips corner to corner, but Theory blocks!

Theory kicks Finn out literally, then he bumps Finn off the desk! Theory says this will be Pat at Mania! But Finn blocks and body shots to smack Theory off the desk! Again and again! Pat says hell yeah that’ll be him! FInn puts Theory in to SLINGBLADE! And then SHOTGUN DROPKICK! Theory hits buckles and falls into the drop zone! Fans fire up as Finn goes up! COUP DE- NO! Theory dodges, cradles, TWO!! Finn escapes, but Theory CLOBBERS him! Theory rains down fists, Pat gets on the apron to shout at Theory! Theory snarls, Pat jumps away and the fans fire up for “PAT! PAT!” Theory drags Finn up, fireman’s carry, but Finn slips off to KICK!

Finn KICKS Theory more, then gets around to dragon sleeper. Theory powers through, fisherman hooks the leg, AOI SHODOU! Cover, TWO!! Finn survives and Pat is fired up again! Theory snarls, tells Pat to watch this, and he goes to the apron. But Pat distracts him again! The ref warns Pat but Pat just says he’ll stay over here. Theory slingshots, but Finn catches him in a cradle! FINN WINS!

Winner: Finn Balor, by pinfall

Theory is furious but Pat and Finn are celebrating! Will Theory go complain to Vince McMahon about this? Will Vince just chalk it up to, “Expect the unexpected?”

 

BREAKING NEWS!

The Raw Tag Team Championship match at WrestleMania will now be a TRIPLE THREAT! The Street Profits get their shot, but so does the Alpha Academy! And speaking of…

RKBRO VS The Alpha Academy!

The tables have turned and now the Viper and Stallion will be in a match that doesn’t mathematically favor them. But will they prove they still have the number of Chad Gable & Otis here 2v2? Or is this the chance for Gable & Otis to win it all back #ForTheAcademy?

Raw returns and the Academy makes their entrance. Gable has the mic and he of course says, “SHOOOOSH! Shoosh, please. So that I can explain that what you witnessed us do last week was called retribution.” Gable knows the crime rate is much higher than the literacy rate in Chicago, so he’ll spell this out for the dumdums! That means they got vengeance for being wronged. And believe him when he says RKBRO committed a wrong when they accepted a title match with anyone other than the Academy. Luckily, vengeance was served! You can’t get one over on Master Gable and his big, beautiful brain.

Especially when Gable is standing next to this tree trunk of a man, his greatest student, Otis! Step aside, Batman, this is the new face of vengeance! They get in the ring now, and Gable says RKBRO messed things up making it a Triple Threat. But the Academy will prevail, and it will be the most stupendous night when they walk out the Raw Tag Team Champions. A THANK YEW~! The teams sort out, Orton starts with Gable and fans fire up as the two tie up. Gable wrenches, hammerlocks, headlocks, then wrenches to wristlock. Orton endures but Gable steps over to wrench the arm more.

Orton fights up, wrenches out and EuroUppers Gable down! Tag to Riddle, they work together for an ASSISTED FLOATING BRO! Cover, ONE! Gable uppercuts Riddle, and BUTTERFLY SUPLEXES, with a bridging cover! TWO, but Gable tags Otis in. Gable tackles Riddle and has the legs, catapult into Otis’ BODY BLOCK! Fans boo while Otis roars, and Otis stomps Riddle down. Otis tags Gable back in, Gable bumps Riddle off buckles. Gable fires off forearms, whips corner to corner, but Riddle goes up and over and spins Gable for a PELE! Riddle handsprings, runs in and forearm smashes, then he DECKS Otis!

Riddle gets Gable for a BROSPLODER! The Academy regroup but Riddle goes out. Gable blocks the Penalty Kick to trip Riddle! Then Otis POUNCES Riddle to barriers! Fans boo but the Academy stands tall as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Riddle runs into a ROLLING ELBOW! Gable chickens wings, but Riddle victory rolls through! TWO, Riddle DECKS Otis! Riddle dodges Gable, hot tag to Orton! Orton rallies on Gable, dodge sand POWERSLAMS! Fans fire up and Orton puts Gable through ropes! But Otis hurries up, only for Orton to fire off on him! Orton climbs up the corner to CLUB away on Otis’ back, then he DECKS Otis! But Gable HOTSHOTS Orton back! Only for Orton to KICK him in the ropes! Orton has Gable back in position, DRAPING DDT! Fans fire up and Orton hears those voices!

Orton waits on Gable, but Gable powers out! Tag to Riddle, Gable gets around to GERMAN SUPLEX Orton !Orton staggers up, Gable clotheslines him out! Gable turns around, ducks the roundhouse and waistlocks to put Riddle in a corner! CHAOS THEORY!! But Riddle slips out!? FINAL FLASH, to a gut wrench! BRO DEREK!! Cover, RKBRO wins!

Winners: RKBRO, by pinfall

But Otis RAMS Orton into barriers, and then gets in to CLOBBER Riddle! The Dozer does not care that they lost the match, he’s going to ensure they have the edge going into the title match! Otis has Riddle in a drop zone, then he goes up top, but here come the STRET PROFITS! They DUMP Otis out, whip Gable and hit a FLAPJACK DDT!! Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins help Riddle up, and Riddle is thankful, but he gets the ANOINTING! And then Ford goes up, and comes in FROM THE HEAVENS! The Profits are wearing Chicago Bulls style jerseys, are they going to have a Jordan style performance at WrestleMania?

 

WWE shares a digital exclusive.

Dana Brooke says it is thanks to Reggie that she is still WWE 24/7 Champion. Well maybe it was their good luck kiss? Yeah, Dana did feel a little inspired. But wait! Akira Tozawa drops in while sliding down a pole! Reggie wants Tozawa to wait, but Tozawa says Dana cheated! Dana cheated the woman of Tozawa’s dreams out of that title! No she didn’t! But then Tamina attacks from behind! A brawl ensues, Dana manages to put Tamina into a trunk but Tamina knocks her down! R-Truth pushes Tamina aside but Tamina keep shim from covering! Reggie shoves Tozawa into Tamina and then he gets Dana outta there!

Tamina and Tozawa are down on the ground together, and Tozawa asks, “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Tamina grabs him by the face, and says, “Yeah. You let them get away!!” Tamina denies Tozawa a kiss now, but will he earn a kiss in tonight’s rematch?

Tornado Mixed Tag Match: Dana Brooke & Reggie VS Tamina & Akira Tozawa!

No more need for tagging in or out, what happens when these two very different pairs of love birds battle it out with no limitations?

Raw returns and Tamina & Tozawa make their entrance. The bell rings and Dana and Reggie combine! They want to do a game of chicken! But Tozawa can’t lift Tamina… So instead, Tozawa gets on Tamina’s shoulders! They tie up like this, Dana SLAPS Tozawa! Tamina kicks Reggie! Reggie drops, so Dana kicks Tamina! Tozawa falls on his face, then staggers up into Reggie’s kick! Reggie and Dana double whip Tozawa into Tamina! Dana then handspring back elbows them together! Tozawa falls first, but then Tamina falls head first into Tozawa’s ninja stars! Dana then KICKS Tamina out of the ring!

Reggie hits the 450 SEATED SENTON! Cover, Reggie & Dana win!

Winners: Dana Brooke & Reggie, by pinfall

Dana mocks Tozawa’s pain, then dances with Reggie. Tamina drags Tozawa out of the ring. He can’t really walk, so Tamina carries him away. Will they make a comeback and get that title from Dana somehow?

 

Raw has BIG plans for next week!

After the utter disrespect The Miz showed Rey Mysterio, the A-Lister and King of Lucha will go 1v1 before the tag match at WrestleMania! And speaking of tag matches, after the Profits went hard on RKBRO and the Alpha Academy, Ford & Dawkins take on Gable & Otis days before the Raw Tag title match! Plus, the four teams in the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship Fatal 4 will go 4v4! 8 Woman Tag of Liv, Rhea, Sasha Banks & Naomi VS Shayna, Natty, Mella & Vega! Will the teams be able to coexist? Which side comes away with the momentum going into the most stupendous WrestleMania Weekend ever?

 

AJ Styles VS Seth Rollins!

This is it! Either the Visionary beats the Phenomenal One and takes away his showdown with Edge, or there is absolutely NOTHING for Rollins at WrestleMania! Will the Pitbull inside Styles take a bite out of Rollins? Or will Rollins get a chance at redemption from Crown Jewel?

Raw returns and Rollins makes his entrance. The bell rings and fans sing Rollins’ theme as he circles with Styles. They tie up but Rollins slips away to soak up the admiration. Rollins and Styles tie up again and Styles wrenches an arm to a wristlock. Rollins rolls, handsprings, breaks free, and does Scott Hall fingers at Styles. They circle again, tie up, and Styles headlocks now. Styles grinds Rollins, Rollins powers up but Styles holds tight. Rollins fights up, throws Styles away and then dodges. Things speed up. Rollins goes the other way to redirect Styles and SLINGBLADE! Fans are torn as Rollins paces around.

Rollins brings Styles up, underhooks, but no Pedigree as Styles back drops free! Styles runs corner to corner but Rollins dodges! Rollins runs in but Styles throws him out and Rollins hits apron! Styles aims and slingshots, FLYING FOREARM! Rollins is down and fans fire up as Raw goes to break!

Raw returns again and Rollins has Styles in a cravat neck wrench. Rollins grinds Styles down but fans rally as Styles endures. Rollins tells Styles this isn’t personal, it’s WrestleMania. Styles fights up, reaches out, but Rollins keeps him from ropes. Styles throws body shots, but Rollins KNEE Styles down! Rollins gets Styles up, back suplexes, but Styles lands on his feet! Styles CHOPS and CHOPS and whips, but Rollins kicks, only for Styles to block! Styles CLUBS the leg, KNEES the knee, and hits a DRAGON SCREW! Rollins goes to a corner, Styles storms over, but Rollins throws haymakers!

Styles runs back in, but Rollins dodges and Styles COLLIDES with buckles! Styles flops out of the ring, the count begins! The count is 5 of 10, Styles drags himself up at 7, hobbles over at 8 and gets in at 9! Rollins stomps Styles at the ropes but the ref counts. Rollins drags Styles up to hit a NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Rollins grows frustrated but he stalks Styles to a corner. Rollins CHOPS Styles now, then CHOPS him again! Styles falls over, fans cheer and jeer, but Rollins gets Styles up to the top rope backwards, Tree of Woe! Rollins runs corner to corner, HESITATION DROPKICK! Rollins drags Styles to a cover, TWO!

Styles is dazed but somehow he survives. Rollins is annoyed, he pushes Styles’ hand away, then tells him this is HIS WrestleMania moment! But Styles hits back with counter punches! Styles fires off more haymakers, but Rollins knees low! Rollins whips corner to corner, but Styles BOOTS him back! Styles goes out, springboards, but Rollins trips him up! Styles takes another tumble out of the ring, and Rollins builds speed! DIVE! Direct hit and Styles hits the desk! Rollins looks to the WrestleMania sign with wild eyes and a smile as Raw goes to break.

Raw returns once again and Rollins again has Styles in a cravat neck wrench. Styles endures and fights up again but Rollins headbutts him and throws elbows! Fans boo but Rollins tells Styles that this isn’t personal! Rollins actually likes Styles! He wants Styles to go home to his family! Rollins SLAPS Styles down, then slaps him more! Rollins says he needs this then he slaps Styles again! Styles SLAPS and SLAPS and forearms Rollins back! Rollins throws just as many forearms back, but Styles fires off the Phenomenal Blitz! LARIAT! Fans fire up as Styles hits a SLIDING FOREARM!

Rollins gets to a corner and Styles runs in, BIG forearm smash, to USHIGOROSHI! Cover, TWO! Rollins survives but Styles keeps his cool. Styles gets himself back up, brings Rollins around and reels him in. But Rollins jackknifes, TWO!! Styles dodges to CHOP and atomic FACEBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Styles and Rollins are both down, Chicago says “This is Awesome!” Styles gets up, drags Rollins up and reels him in, but Rollins slips out! Rollins spins Styles to ROLLING ELBOW! Then a FALCON ARROW! Cover, TWO! Rollins gets to a corner, he aims as Styles rises, but Styles catches the stomp for a-

NO! No bomb as Rollins ranas through! TWO, and Styles sunset flips, TWO! Rollins high stacks, TWO, to a deadlift, but Styles fights the buckle bomb to snap suplex into buckles! Both men are down in the corner and fans rally up. Styles drags himself up, he steps over Rollins and goes up the corner. But Rollins gets up to ROCK Styles first! Styles sits on the corner, Rollins climbs up to join him. Rollins goes to the very top but Styles resists! Styles knocks Rollins down, adjusts, but Rollins gets right up top! Styles slips out and trips Rollins! Then torture rack, for a TOWER HACKER BOMB! Cover, TWO!!

Both men are down but stirring. Styles gets up first, he goes to a corner and aims from the apron! Springboard, PHENOMENAL SUPERKICK! Rollins gets Styles out of midair, then gets him up for a BUCKLE BOMB! Rollins goes up top, looks to the sign, FROG SPLASH onto knees!! Both men are down again as Styles saves himself! Styles resets on the apron, Rollins rushes over, but Styles ROCKS him with a forearm! But then someone SMACKS Styles with a chair!! It’s EDGE!!

Winner: AJ Styles, by disqualification; will still face Edge at WrestleMania 38

The Rated R Superstar, the Ultimate Opportunist, SMACKS Styles with the chair again! He not only robbed his enemy Rollins of a WrestleMania moment, he just ensured his WrestleMania opponent in Styles is still not 100%! Two birds, one chair shot! Rollins is livid, understandably, and he starts throwing things around ringside! He snatches a mic from Mike Rome and gets up on the desk to vent. “This! Is! BULLSH*T!!” Rollins says next week, Raw will not happen unless Rollins gets what he deserves! He WILL have his WrestleMania moment!

Rollins keeps shouting BS and fans chant for “CODY! CODY!” as Rollins tarts ripping at the ringside barrier! Rollins even tips over the announce desk, the steel steps, and he pulls off part of the LED casing on a corner post! Rollins’ rage finally quiets, but will it reignite on the last Raw before WrestleMania?


My Thoughts:

This was a pretty great Raw. For one, what a great little swerve from Kevin Owens pretending to be Steve Austin. He kept character the whole time, maybe even for when that guy failed to throw him beer cans. Well, that could’ve been Kevin’s honest feelings, too, but it still worked. The Mysterios get a tag win to keep up momentum on Raw, though the Dirty Dawgs taking the loss makes me think RawDown needs to expand by at least one tag team each. Dawgs could have just been left out while they’re also part of NXT and that other team could’ve taken the loss. But the main thing was, Miz snatching away Rey’s mask was to get him more heat. Chances are, Logan really does wear that mask for next week’s go-home.

Omos gets another win but I say again, is this really doing Omos any good? He’s becoming the strongest superstar without a title. And honestly, why doesn’t he already have a title? Realistically speaking, his undefeated singles streak should have put him in the US Championship story a long time ago. But then, Finn probably wouldn’t have the title. Finn had a very good match with Theory, but Pat McAfee showing up was also a great part of it. I was hoping Pat would visit Raw like this, and he helps Finn win over Theory, but let’s just hope the story doesn’t become Finn having to defend that title against a lot of people as punishment. Actually, maybe it should. Finn winning a big match would be great for him. But I just fear that it would be Vince’s way (kayfabe and shoot) of getting that title off Finn.

I really like what we got out of the RawDown Women’s Tag Division. Vega and Mella brawling backstage was a bit premature of the tensions I was hoping would boil over, but of course they only tease it to have these two patch things up on the same night. Rhea & Liv VS Shayna & Natty was great stuff, and at least we got a decision before Mella & Vega attacked everyone. The 8 Woman Tag will be a lot of fun, but I feel like the Heels win to have the go-home math say the champs lose. At least, I hope so. That tension tease tonight, the fact there are three other teams, Mella and Vega really should have a story against each other.

Veer finally has a date! At this point, of course they’re waiting until after WrestleMania. For his sake, let’s hope he doesn’t get Dan Matha’d. The 24/7 Division has become an extension of the NXThirst we see on Tuesdays, but there’s still good chemistry and comedy in the segments. I was hoping that the co-ed nature of the Tornado Mixed Tag was going to lead to Tozawa taking the title off Dana, and then literally lying down for Tamina to give the title to her. Becky had a very good promo, though part of it was based on her social media post from when her throat got injured. But I suppose that’s the poetic justice off her promo. Hopefully Bianca’s injury is just kayfabe and they’re using it so Bianca has a “miraculous” return to then have her Mania match and title win.

We got a great segment out of the Raw Tag Team Championship picture. Another Triple Threat has been made so WWE is really going hard for this WrestleMania season. RKBRO VS Academy was great stuff, great win for RKBRO and what a way for the Profits to show off their new aggression. But wow, that Flapjack DDT is nuts, I almost thought Gable got hurt there. Profits VS Academy is going to be a good go-home match, and there will be a lot of telling signs in the go-home math there for who wins at Mania.

And last but not least, in a rehash that was actually creative, Rollins tries to take away Styles’ moment while also going after his old foe, Edge. Great promos from Rollins and Styles, as well as interactions with management, and naturally a phenomenal match. Edge attacking was actually brilliant stuff. It’s exactly what Heel Edge, whether now or in the past, would’ve done. We still get Edge VS Styles, and Rollins got to throw one heck of a tantrum. Haven’t seen someone rip up the post casing like that before, so that was cool. And Rollins wanting to hijack the go-home episode next week, that will definitely be a great moment to set up Rollins’ real Mania moment <cough> Cody Rhodes </cough>.

My Score: 8.4/10


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Coverage

Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (4/26/24)

It’s Draft Day!

Published

on

And with the first overall pick of the 2024 WWE Draft, SmackDown selects…

The WWE Draft returns for 2024, the first four rounds being right here on Friday Night SmackDown! With champions protected, who ends up where to challenge them?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Rey Mysterio & Dragon Lee w/ Zelina Vega & Carlito VS Angel Garza & Humberto Carrillo; Rey & Dragon win.
  • Bron Breakker VS Cedric Alexander; Bron wins.
  • WWE Women’s Championship #1 Contender’s Match: Naomi VS Tiffany Stratton; No Contest.
  • Cody Rhodes VS Carmelo Hayes; Cody wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Backstage interview with Paul Heyman.

Kayla Braxton is with the Wise Man and says that here on night one of the Draft, there are already rumors circulating, including those about The Tribal Chief, Roman Reigns. Heyman will clarify these are not rumors regarding The Tribal Chief, Roman… Reigns. These are facts! Ladies and gentlemen, Your Tribal Chief, Roman Reigns, has voluntarily withdrawn from eligibility for this year’s Draft. That is not a negative but a positive. Who built SmackDown since the Pandemic? Roman Reigns. Who is the biggest star in the entire industry? Roman Reigns. Why would Roman Reigns hog the number one draft pick spotlight when he won’t be returning in the immediate future?

Read into his words, Kayla, that is not what a real Tribal Chief would do. Instead now, the pressure is on Nick Aldis. Because if Roman Reigns isn’t the first draft pick, then who is? The first two picks make history in a brand new era. And Heyman doesn’t know about you, but he is intrigued. No Tribal Chief up for grabs, who gets their opportunity to shine in the spotlight?

 

SmackDown throws it to the NXT Performance Center.

Jackie Redmond says the emotion down here is palpable! There is excitement, hope, and a little bit of nerves. But for these NXT Superstars, tonight is the culmination of a lifetime of hard work, dedication, a little bit of luck and a whole lot of self-belief. It was just last year that the NEW WWE Tag Team Champion, Grayson Waller, was hoping his name would be called. And it is funny this is NXT, but time to buy a vowel, throw in an E! Who is next? We find out tonight! The draft pool is deep, who rises to the top of the list?

 

Corey Graves is in the ring.

Corey welcomes Cincinnati and all of us at home to night one of the 2024 WWE Draft. Understandably, the GMs have their hands full, so Corey will be moderating the contract signing for the WWE Championship match that takes place next Saturday for Backlash: France. Without further ado, it’s the #1 contender, The Phenomenal AJ Styles! Styles makes his entrance, taking a seat at the table on camera right. And now, the Undisputed WWE Champion, the American Nightmare, Cody Rhodes! Cincy fires up and sings along, “WHOA~ OH~!” as Cody makes his entrance and gets his pyro before joining everyone in the ring.

Styles looks over the contract, absolutely tuning out the fans going wild for “CODY! CODY!” Styles then gets the mic to say before he signs, he doesn’t know if we realize that we’ve got two Georgia boys about to mix it up for the first time, and for the biggest prize in the game. Styles understands why they boo, but they gotta know that he doesn’t respect LA Knight, LA Knight got under his skin. He accepts that. But that’s why Styles lost at Mania. But what happened? Styles got his composure back and realized that he is Phenomenal. Styles BEAT Knight to earn the right to face Cody Rhodes at Backlash.

Now unlike Knight, Styles does respect Cody. They hadn’t crossed paths yet, but they’ve been down the same roads. They had to prove themselves outside of the WWE. And Styles is willing to believe that the same man who gave him advice a long time ago gave Cody the same advice, on how to stand on their own two feet and be the men they are today. That man was The American Dream, Dusty Rhodes. The fans cheer for “DUSTY! DUSTY!” Styles learned a lot from Dusty. Styles gets a little emotional thinking about Dusty, he was a good man. Dusty taught Styles how to carry himself, and to carry the weight of a championship.

And Styles looks at this WWE Championship here. The weight of this isn’t just the leather and gold. And at Backlash, we see if Cody can carry it. Styles goes back to his table, signs the contract, and then hands it off to Corey. Corey brings that to Cody, and Cody picks up his mic. “So… Cincinnati…! Whadda we wanna talk about? Certainly, we can talk about respect. There is not a locker room on Earth that you’ll find where everyone in it, every single person, they all respect AJ Styles. Last week, I went on to say you are the modern day Excellence of Execution. I respect the roads that you have traveled down to get here, the parallel paths that perhaps you and I have.

“Mutual respect, much respect. But that respect goes by the wayside at Backlash. I can feel it in your words to a degree. You’ve been here before. And it seems you’re implying that I cannot carry the weight of that championship. Well, good thing the man who trained me not far from where I sit now used to tell me all the time, it’s not about winning the title, it’s about keeping it.” The fans cheer that. Cody says boy does he respect Styles’ familiarity with Cody’s last name. But when you put C O D Y in front of it on this paper, that means they’ve never touched before. That means Backlash is a level playing field.

That means no matter how Phenomenal Styles is, this isn’t a dream match for Cody. It’s a must-win! Cody signs while the fans cheer, and it is official! Cody even throws the pen to the crowd as a free souvenir. Cody then offers a handshake, and Styles says y’know what? It was a beautiful thing to see Cody #FInishTheStory and win the title. But it’s a shame that Cody’s title reign will end at Backlash. Styles still shakes Cody’s hand, and then walks away. Cody picks up the belt and holds it high, will he get to hold it high again in Lyon, France?

Triple H is here!

Just as Cody was on his way to the back, The Game makes his way out here! HHH raises Cody’s hand, then invites him over to the podium. HHH welcomes us to the first round of the 2024 WWE Draft. It is a night that changes the landscape of the WWE going into the future, and things are a bit different this year. As the GMs ponder their next steps, they have to understand it is about protecting the roster they have as it is making the roster they want. Meaning that when they use their picks, they have just as much of a chance gaining a superstar as they do losing one they already have.

HHH just felt that since champs are protected and Cody will be staying here on SmackDown, maybe Cody could help read the SmackDown picks and HHH can read the Raw picks. And since SmackDown goes first, Cody reads first. Cody takes the card to say that with the first pick of the 2024 WWE Draft, SmackDown selects… The E S T, Bianca Belair! The stongEST, fastEST, roughEST, toughEST stays on Friday nights! HHH reads that for the second pick of the 2024 WWE Draft, Raw selects… YEET! JEY USO! Monday nights will still have Main Event Jey Uso! And the fans “YEET!” Cody says for the third pick, SmackDown selects… NXT’s Carmelo Hayes!

The fans fire up as SmackDown manages to snag… HIM! The former NXT Champion makes history again by being the first NXT superstar to be chosen this high in the Draft! HHH says that’s a hell of a pick. But then the fourth and final pick of this first round, Raw selects… SETH! FREAKIN’! ROLLINS! It is still going to be Monday Night Rollins as the Visionary stays on the red brand! Cody and HHH shake hands, and then Melo makes his way out! Melo has the mic to say when they talk about who’s next up, about who’s the hottest out, they don’t call them “the hottest out,” they just call him “Carmelo Hayes.”

The fans chant “WHOOP DAT TRICK!” to remind Melo how he’s leaving NXT. Melo says okay, okay. But then to Cody Rhodes, ever since Cody won the title, he’s been talking about “If you aim for the king, you best not miss.” Well, funny how that works. Because when Melo shoots, Melo don’t miss. And as a first round draft pick, what better way to shoot his shot on SmackDown than to shoot it right at Cody? Melo leaves the mic with Cody but Cody picks it up to say, “Fortune certainly favors the bold, but I dunno. You folks don’t wanna see me in action tonight, do ya?” The fans go wild! Oh, but what if Cody forgot his gear?

Oh that’s right! He didn’t forget his gear! And this title right here, for Cody, means absolutely 100%, Melo’s on! They shake on it, and we’re about to see a huge first-time-ever showdown! But will this bold first move work out for… HIM?

 

Rey Mysterio & Dragon Lee w/ Zelina Vega & Carlito VS Angel Garza & Humberto Carrillo!

The LWO is still not convinced Legado Del Fantasma had nothing to do with the beating that took the Boy Wonder out ahead of WrestleMania. Will the King of Lucha help get to the bottom of things? Or will Angel & “Berto” make it as easy as ABC, 1-2-3?

The teams sort out, Dragon runs up on Humberto but Humberto LARIATS him down! Humberto drags Dragon up, tears the shirt away and CHOPS! Humberto whips, Dragon ducks ‘n’ dodges to RANA! Humberto tumbles out, Dragon builds speed and FLIES! Direct hit and down goes Humberto! The fans fire up as Dragon pushes Humberto into the ring, goes up a corner, and then CROSSBODIES! Cover, TWO! Dragon facelocks to drag Humberto up, but Humberto wrenches out to CLUB Dragon down. Humberto waistlocks but Dragon throws elbows. Angel tags in as Humberto shoves Dragon. Dragon ducks but Angel holds ropes open, and Dragon tumbles to the floor!

The fans boo and LWO hurries to check on Dragon! Angel & Humberto just soak up the heat as SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and both Dragon and Humberto are down! They crawl, hot tags to Angel and Rey! The fans fire up as Rey ducks ‘n’ dodges and tilt-o-whirl RANAS! Angel ends up in a corner, he puts Rey on the apron, but Rey ROCKS Angel! Rey goes up to SEATED SENTON! Rey keeps moving, wrenches and kicks, then hops on! CODE RED! Cover, Humberto breaks it! The fans boo but Humberto hauls Rey up. Rey fights and RANAS Humberto up and out! But Angelo kicks, scoops, but Rey slips free! Angelo kicks low, reels REy in, and underhooks, but Rey fights those to RANA Angel onto ropes! Rey dials it up to 619!

Tag to Dragon and he takes aim! Angel stands, into the tilt-o-whirl, PROJECT DRAGON!! Cover, LWO wins!

Winners: Rey Mysterio & Dragon Lee, by pinfall

Carlito and Zelina hug it out with the team, but then Santos Escobar & Elektra Lopez walk out here. Santos says whoa, whoa, whoa, hold that celebration. Because Santos is many things, but a liar is not one of them. And when Santos said he did NOT attack Dragon that night before Mania, he meant it. Elektra has been working for weeks to track down the security footage from that night. And Rey… Oh, Rey. What you’re about to see, you will find very, very interesting. The footage plays, and it was CARLITO!! Carlito throw Dragon around backstage! No one can believe it, because of how well Carlito fooled even Dragno.

Speaking of, Carlito RAMS Dragon into Rey, then hits a BACKSTABBER! Never has that move’s name been more fitting! Carlito runs away in a panic, and Rey stands back up in a rage! Santos says he told Rey that he was right all along. They were supposed to be family, and yet look how that turned out. How will the LWO recover from this shocking development?

 

Bron Breakker VS Cedric Alexander!

The Big Bad Booty Nephew has been making a case for himself ever since showing up on SmackDown, and he’s already bringing the straps down! Is he going to break PRIMED Alexander while also breaking match time records? Or will Cedric prove he’s too fly for Bron?

The bell rings and Cedric dodges Bron to CHOP and ROCK! Cedric whips, Bron reverses and Cedric handsprings, into a SPEAR!! Cover, Bron wins!

Winner: Bron Breakker, by pinfall

Well, hard to say if that’s an all-time fast match, but that was a fast match! QR Code stuff going on, but will we all see Bron take the world by storm?

 

Nick Aldis heads out.

And waiting is Tiffany Stratton. She asks if he saw what she did last week. Wait, of course he did. Because she is the Center of the Universe. She dropped Naomi and Bayley, where is her title match? Aldis tells Tiff to look at his watch. It is NOT set to #TiffyTime. And he was this close to sending her to the back of the line. But then someone convinced him otherwise, good for her. Tonight, she goes 1v1 with Naomi again, and the winner faces Bayley for the title at Backlash. Whose stupid idea was that?! Bayley says DING DONG, it was hers. It is a win-win situation here. If Naomi wins, she gets the match she got cheated out of.

And if Tiff wins, then she’ll find out when she attacks the Role Model. Tiff gasps as she has a #TiffanyEpiphany. Bayley should be ringside for that match so she can see Tiff do what Bayley couldn’t, and that’s beat Naomi. Tootles. Tiff leaves, but will the only thing she gets is to #FeelTheGlow?

 

Michelle McCool and Torrie Wilson are here!

One is a former WWE Women’s Champion, the other is a WWE Hall of Famer, but they’re both here to present Draft picks! Michelle says with the first pick of the second round, SmackDown selects… The Viper, Randy Orton! SmackDown will still have to watch out for an RKO outta nowhere! Torrie says that with the second pick of the second round, Raw selects… BRON BREAKKER! We just saw Bron make quick work of opponents here on SmackDown, but now he’s gonna be rampaging on Raw!

Michelle says that with the third pick of the second round, SmackDown selects… NIA JAX! The Irresistible Force may have to change targets from the Women’s World to the Undisputed Women’s title, but will she be unstoppable all the same? And with the fourth and final pick of this round, Raw selects… LIV MORGAN! The Revenge Tour will still be part of Monday nights, will we watch Liv rise to the top?

 

The Bloodline arrives backstage.

Paul Heyman is there to greet them and open the door to the SUV. He apologizes for not being faster about that, but Solo Sikoa asks The Bloodline if they’ve been drafted. Not yet. Then give Solo the details. Okay, well, Roman Reigns withdrew right before the show began, and then Solo keeps adding members, so no one really knows what they’re getting if they draft The Bloodline! Solo sighs, and here comes Tama Tonga. Heyman asks they be patient but Solo wants Heyman to repeat that for him. Heyman gets scared, but then KEVIN OWENS jumps in! Kevin fires off on Tama, security and refs rush in to stop it!

The Prizefighter wants Solo’s “MFT” to bring the fight like he did last week! Security still drags Kevin away, but will he get that fight he wants?

 

Kayla Braxton is on stage.

SmackDown returns and Kayla welcomes us back to the show. And please welcome out the first overall pick, Bianca Belair! The fans fire up as The EST walks out on stage, and Kayla congratulates her on being the first overall pick. But let’s talk Backlash. Breaking news, Bianca and Jade Cargill are going to challenge for the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championships, against the Kabuki Warriors. How satisfying would it be to dethrone them on the stage of this magnitude? Bianca says so satisfying. She really hopes Jade gets drafted to SmackDown because given all this history with Damage CTRL, all the partners by her side, Bianca has never been the one to finally end it with them.

For everything they’ve done to her and this division, Bianca feels Jade is the perfect woman to help her end this. Now, DMG CTRL is falling apart piece by piece, and that final piece is the tag titles. So once Bianca & Jade take the gold at Backlash, the Kabuki Warriors won’t even have a reason to come back to SmackDown. But wait, they’re here now! Asuka & Kairi walk out here and Kayla moves aside. The Empress of Tomorrow and the Pirate Princess taunt the EST, but here comes The Storm! Jade makes her way to stand right by Bianca’s side. The four shout and argue, but this will be settled on May 4th!

WHOA! Tama and Kevin are brawling their way out here! The ladies move aside so the gentlemen can brawl all the way down to ringside! Tama hits low, gets in the ring, but Kevin pursues! Kevin TACKLES Tama, but Solo CLOBBERS Kevin! The fans boo as The Bloodline beats Kevin down! The refs hurry out here but clearly Solo’s Bloodline won’t listen! Tama DECKS producers, DECKS guards, HEADBUTTS them, throws hands and even THROWS the guards! Tama and Solo beat Kevin down again, but here comes Randy Orton! The Viper is still on SmackDown and he’s still pals with Kevin, so here he comes!

Orton DECKS Tama, fires hands on Solo, then RK- NO, Solo gets free and gets away! Orton wants to pursue, almost runs Jamie Noble and refs over to do it, but the Bloodline has gotten away! The fans cheer Randy on, and KAevin even hugs him! But then Kevin and Randy try to give chase! Security stops this, when and where will we see #RKKO strike down Solo and Tama?

 

The Dudley Boyz are here!

The fans fire up as Bubba Ray & D-Von are both here for the next round of picks! Cincy chants for “E C DUB! E C DUB!” Bubba and D-Von look at the cards, it’s hard to read. So out come the glasses! Bubba says with the first pick of the third round of the 2024 WWE Draft, SmackDown selects… L A KNIGHT! YEAH!! The Mega Star stays on Fridays! D-Von says with the second pick of the third round, Raw selects… RICOCHET! Mondays still has the One and Only, is Ricochet going to bring that WWE Speed Championship home to Raw, too?

Bubba says with the third pick of the third round, SmackDown selects… THE BLOODLINE! That means Solo Sikoa, Tama Tonga and Paul Heyman are staying right here on Friday nights. And D-Von says with the final pick of this round, Raw selects… SHEAMUS! The Celtic Warrior just got back, but he won’t have to worry about going anywhere else but Monday nights.

 

WWE Women’s Championship #1 Contender’s Match: Naomi VS Tiffany Stratton!

It’s time to run it back once again! The Glow got robbed by the Spoiled Rich Girl, but supposedly, it’s #TiffyTime. Will Naomi prove there’s no such time on the clock? Or will Bayley be the one feeling the Backlash over giving Tiffany one more chance?

The bell rings and Naomi hits a THESZ PRESS! Naomi rains down fists, Tiffy shoves her away and goes to ropes, but Naomi gets up in Tiff’s face. Naomi whips, Tiff holds ropes to bail out and fans boo. Naomi scowls, runs in and WRECKS Tiff with a dropkick! Naomi then gets Tiff up, SMACKS her off the apron, and then SMACKS her off it again! And again! Naomi puts Tiff in, goes up a corner, but Tiff gets under the jump! Naomi runs back up but Tiff YANKS her into ropes! Tiff runs to HIP ATTACK! Naomi sputters, Tiff scowls and drags Naomi up, to then put through ropes. But Naomi RAMS into Tiff!

Naomi reels Tiff in, for a HEATSEEKER! Tiff flops to the floor, and then Naomi SPLIT LEG DROPS! Naomi says it’s #NaomiTime, but SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and Naomi runs, but into a SPINEBUSTER! High stack, TWO! Naomi survives and Tiff is frustrated but the fans rally up. Tiff drags Naomi up, whips her to a corner, but Naomi goes up and sunset flips! TWO! Tiff escapes, knees Naomi low, then whips. Naomi slides under the lariat to then mule kick! Then she headscissor SPIKES Tiff down! Cover, TWO! Tiff survives but barely, and Naomi keeps her cool. Naomi headlocks, but Tiff shoves her into buckles! Tiff runs, but Naomi follows, DOUBLE RUNNING FACEBUSTERS take them both down! The fans fire up as the two rise!

Naomi KICKS, ROCKS and ROCKS Tiff again! Naomi fires shots again and again but Tiff knees low! Tiff reels Naomi in, but Naomi wrenches out to ENZIGIRI! And then BUCKLE BULLDOG! But then NIA JAX attacks Bayley!? Nia SMACKS Bayley off buckles, rains down fists, and this momentarily distracts Naomi. Naomi refocuses, but by now, Tiff’s slipped away! Nia KICKS Bayley in the side, so Naomi goes out to ROCK her! Nia POSTS Naomi and that throws the match out!

No Contest

The fans boo as Nia ruins the fun, then runs Bayley over! Nia smiles as she blows kisses to Cincy. Tiff smiles, she drags Naomi up and puts her in the ring. Then she drags Bayley in! Tiff wants a repeat of last week as she puts them side by side in the drop zone! Tiff then goes up and up for the PRETTIEST MOONSAULT EVER!! Tiff says it’s her time, but the #1 contendership is still in question. Who gets their shot at the Role Model at Backlash?

 

B-Fab and the Street Profits meet up backstage.

Angelo Dawkins has a “WHO-DEY” sign, but Montez Ford is wondering where Bobby Lashley is right now. B-Fab says calm down, he’ll be here. Byron Saxton walks over and apologizes for interrupting. He doesn’t know what the Draft destination for this group will be until Monday Night Raw, but we do know that The Profits will challenge A-Town Down Under for the WWE Tag Team Championships. YESSIIIIIIR~! B-Fab says it doesn’t matter where they get drafted. The Profits are going to take down A-Town Down Under and take those titles. Then they’ll have their first class tickets right back to SmackDown.

SmackDown? Did someone say SmackDown~? In walk Austin Theory & Grayson Waller, showing off the titles. And Theory says you can’t have SmackDown without the GREATEST undefeated tag team of all time. And sorry, Dawkins, but these are championships, something the Bengals know nothing about! B-Fab keeps Dawkins back, but then in steps Bobby Lashley! The All Mighty scares Theory & Waller right off, and Dawkins says see y’all next Friday! Will there be nothing keeping these Profits down the night before Backlash?

 

The Final Testament speaks.

Karrion Kross says good evening. What’s going on here? You guessed it! More random acts of violence! Just follow him. Kross & Scarlett lead the way to show The Authors of Pain beating down New Catch Republic! Rezar beats down Pete Dunne while Akam victimizes Tyler Bate! Paul Ellering says they will know about sacrifice! Kross says whether they get drafted to Raw or stay on SmackDown, the violence will continue until they get what they want! So sayeth The Final Testament!!

 

Teddy Long and JBL are here!

The Hall of Famer General Manager and the Hall of Famer WWE Champion are both here, ready to give us the fourth and final round of picks tonight! Teddy gets right to it! The first pick of the fourth round, SmackDown selects… AJ STYLES! The Phenomenal One is really an obvious choice, because one way or another, the WWE Championship stays with SmackDown! JBL says the second pick of the fourth round, Raw selects… THE ALPHA ACADEMY! Raw keeps Chad Gable, Otis, Maxxine Dupri & Akira Tozawa, A THANK YEW~!

Teddy says with the third pick of this round, SmackDown selects… ANDRADE! A big move as now El Idolo will be part of Friday nights. And with the final pick of this fourth round, Raw selects… NXT’S Kiana James! The Calculator, the former NXT Women’s Tag Team Champion, has the Raw hat to put on, and after a quick hype package, Jackie Redmond is there to interview her. Kiana, congratulations! You are heading to Monday Night Raw! How much does this mean to her? This means the world to her. She is filled with gratitude, but also knows every decision she has made up to this point has been by design to get her here.

Kiana is so proud of her time in NXT, but she’s ready to show Raw why she is the One Percent. Was she surprised? Of course she was! HBK is here to wish her luck and congratulations. Is Kiana going to start the hostile takeover of the Raw Women’s Division?

 

Backstage interview with Nick Aldis.

Kayla is with the SmackDown GM and says that with night one in the books, how does he feel about SmackDown’s selections? He feels really good about them. SmackDown’s future is bright, he can’t wait for the new recruits to show up and show out for the blue brand. But he also wants to turn attentions to Backlash, because he’s got some new matches to announce! The first PLE in France, this is exciting stuff, Kayla. Aldis says that the WWE Women’s Championship will now be on the line in a Triple Threat! Bayley VS Naomi VS Tiffany Stratton! Will the odds make it that much harder for the Role Model to succeed?

There’s one more match to announce, but Aldis will let the GM GOAT take it from here. Teddy Long steps in, and don’t forget. We’ll talk about this tag team match. The Bloodline VS Kevin Owens & Randy Orton! Holla, players. Solo & Tama will have to face The Viper and the Prizefighter, will #RKKO strike fast and strike hard?

 

Cody Rhodes VS Carmelo Hayes!

The American Nightmare just put pen to paper for his match with the Phenomenal One, but he isn’t one to shy away from a challenge. The former NXT Champion is shooting his shot, but will this be nothing but net? Or will it be a frustrating airball?

The bell rings and the two circle. They tie up, the fans rally for Cody as he puts Melo in a corner then arm-drags him away. Melo runs up, Cody headlocks, Melo powers out then drops. Melo hurdles, but Cody kicks low to RHODES UPPERCUT! Melo staggers to ropes, the fans fire up, but then melo throat chops and springboard FLYING LARIATS! Melo says that’s why he’s a first round pick! But then Cody CLOBBERS him! Cody asks if Melo’s ready for this, and SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns once again and Cody has a headlock. Cody hits a takeover, Melo flails and kicks around, but Cody grinds him down. Melo pushes with his forearm, then headscissors, but Cody kips free. Melo CHOPS, the fans “WOO~!” but Cody brushes himself off. Melo pie faces Cody! Cody fires forearms on Melo, then whips, but Melo reverses. Melo ELBOWS Cody, then runs up to KICK him in the side! Melo fires forearms and CHOPS in a corner, then throws body shots. Melo digs his boot in, the ref counts, and Cody goes to another corner. Cody eggs Melo on, Melo storms up, but Cody puts him in the corner to CHOP!

Cody swings, Melo dodges and CHOPS! Cody turns things around to CHOP! The fans rally, Cody whips corner to corner, then he back drops Melo away! Melo staggers up, Cody runs, and he rallies on Melo with forearms! Cody goes up and over in a corner but Melo tilt-o-whirls, LA MYSTICA! Melo springboards, FADE AWAY! Cover, TWO! Cody survives that flying DDT, but we see the NXT roster all fired up watching Melo take it to the champ. Melo sits Cody up, drags him into a facelock, but the fans rally for Cody. Cody fireman’s carries but Melo slips free to dragon sleeper! Melo grins, but Cody cradles! TWO!!

Melo swings, Cody boots, then Cody springboards to BEAUTIFUL DISASTER! Melo flips inside-out, Cody covers, TWO! Melo is still in this and he snarls up at Cody. Melo gives a forearm, Cody gives it back, and the fans rally up. Cody scoops Melo, storms around, and then hits a RUNNING POWERSLAM! Cover, TWO! Melo survives and Cody grows frustrated. Cody pounds the mat, the fans rally up, and then Cody goes to ropes. Cody springboards again, CODY CUTTER! Cover, TWO!! Melo survives yet again, proving why he’s a former NXT Champion, on top of NXT North American Champion! But then Cody drags him up!

Cody back suplexes, Melo lands out of it, then FIRST 48! Doe goes Cody and Melo goes up! Melo is setting up for the game winner! NOTHING BUT- NO, Cody avoids the flying leg drop! Melo rolls through, Cody dodges to SUPERKICK! Cody brings Melo around, but Melo gets free! They both run, both springboard, but completely miss each other, and Cody takes a rough landing! Melo drags Cody up, reels him in, but Cody wrenches out to dragon sleeper! CROSS RHODES!! Cody shakes out the bad arm but still makes the cover, and Cody wins!

Winner: Cody Rhodes, by pinfall

Melo took his shot but it was blocked! Even so, Cody sits Melo up to show him respect and tell him he’s still the future. But did this match end up more of a trap game for Cody after that crash landing? Or will he be alright in time for Backlash and his phenomenal opponent?

Speaking of, Styles sneaks right into the ring! Cody sees him in time and Styles stays back. Cody and Styles stare down, but Styles says it was that close. Styles offers a handshake, and Cody takes it. There’s still respect here, for now. But will nothing stop Styles from turning Cody’s story into a tragedy after all?


My Thoughts:

A great SmackDown to open the WWE Draft but to also set up Backlash. To recap, SmackDown took Bianca, Melo, Orton, Nia, LA Knight, The Bloodline, Styles and Andrade while Raw took Jey, Rollins, Bron, Liv, Ricochet, Sheamus, The Alpha Academy, and Kiana. Many of those choices made sense, as picks won’t be wasted on keeping champions on brands, and just need to be used to keep most stories alive and change up a few others. Kiana is perhaps one of the more surprising moves, but well-deserved. She has been a solid character and solid in-ring performer almost from the start, she’s a solid addition to Raw.

Bron of course demolished his opponent tonight, it’s just a shame it was Cedric and not local enhancement talent. But Bron will also be a good addition to Raw, but maybe he can move past his squash match phase and get right to story. Melo being a first round pick was great stuff, and he had a great promo with Cody to give us tonight’s main event. That double springboard whiff was definitely a timing problem, but at the same time, a Fade Away countered into a Cody Cutter would’ve been way too epic just for TV. Cody with a great win, and we got a really good contract signing segment, but you can bet Cody retains.

Really good tag match from LWO VS Legado but naturally Rey & Dragon won. I knew it was only a matter of time before Carlito was outed, and how he handled being exposed was pretty good. And with Andrade being drafted to SmackDown, you just know that means Andrade joins the LWO. The Final Testament attacking New Catch Republic was a wild moment, I almost thought Ellering was going to use the pliers in his hands to grab at fingers. Maybe we get that next week for SmackDown in France. Good promos from A-Town Down Under and the still technically unnamed faction of Bobby Lashley’s. As great as The Profits are, it feels like Theory & Waller will cheat to retain.

Really good promo with Tiff and Bayley to set up Naomi VS Tiff round 3, but I did not think Nia Jax would disrupt all that. A Triple Threat at Backlash is good stuff, it will protect Bayley if she loses, but can also protect Naomi and Tiff if Bayley uses them against each other to win. Good promo from Bianca that then turned into the shouting match of Bianca & Jade with Kabuki Warriors. Their tag title match is official, and I’m pretty sure Bianca & Jade win. I also liked that this segment ended up having Kevin and Tama brawl right through it. Orton saving Kevin was a great move, RKKO VS Solo & Tama is going to be awesome stuff, I can’t wait to see it.

My Score: 8.8/10


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 4.25.2024

We just got done with Rebellion, and Under Siege is two weeks away! Gotta see how these dots connect!

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Rebellion had quite a few returns, Mike Santana, Sami Callihan and Broken Matt Hardy. All three of these guys could easily be main event players, and its nice to mix up and expand what felt like a rather small pool of potential challengers.

Under Siege is only like 2 weeks out, so we’ll see how the dots connect in such a short period of time.

Ratings:

  • Mike Santana vs Myron Reed w/Trey Miguel & Zachary Wentz: Santana wins via Spin the Block – ** 1/2
  • #1 Contender: Frankie Kazarian vs Josh Alexander: Josh wins via Grapevine Ankle Lock – ***
  • ASH by Elegance vs Xia Brookside: Xia wins via School Girl Roll-Up – ** 3/4
  • Sami Callihan vs The Good Hands: Sami Callihan wins via Cactus Driver ’97 – SQUASH
  • Eddie Edwards w/Alisha Edwards & Brian Myers vs Nic Nemeth: Eddie wins via Boston Knee Party – *** 1/4

Results:

A weird opening that is just framed to put Nemeth and Hardy together against The System. Feels a little awkward, but who knows how it will play out. 

Mike Santana vs Myron Reed w/Trey Miguel & Zachary Wentz

Ahh I didn’t really pay attention to Santana’s theme at Rebellion, but its pretty damn cool. Good stuff. 

Rascalz blindside Santana early, but the heel advantage doesn’t last more than a few moves. Santana whips Myron from corner to corner, hits a few Hip Attacks before Myron finally dodges one and starts using his unique offense and agility to his advantage. Matrix dodge, into an Leaping Outside Back in Slingshot Codebreaker. Some more offense and Santana powders to the ramp, Myron jumps over the rope and tries a Flying Cutter, but Santana blocks it, turns things around, gets pushed forward and hits the Rolling Cutter. Santana takes out the Rascalz, heads back into the ring, Myron tries to catch him unawares but eats the Spin the Block off the rope run! Santana wins fairly quickly.

Maclin’s music hits, he tries to employ the help of The Rascalz to attack Santana, but as soon as Maclin positions himself to get in, The Rascalz bail and flip off Maclin. Maclin makes it out of the confrontation relatively unscathed, but at least we know where he’s going for Under Siege probably.

OH FUCK ME WITH RUSTY KNIVES. Because Cardona is hurt Kon is paired with SDL, and she just challenges Jordynne and PCO to a tag match. WHY!? STOP IT. This is hot garbage. 

Josh Alexander comes out…I wonder who’s Super Finisher he’s gonna conveniently kick out this time? Brian Myers? Frankie Kazarian? Rich Swann? Because yes, I’m still annoyed that Hammerstone has been in TNA for half a sandwich, he already connects with a Super version of his finish on tacks, and that’s not a finish. Oh Kaz’s music hits. Okay, so time for Josh to kick out of Fade to Black or Flux Capacitor. Kaz talks smack, says he won his match too so he should have a say in who’s number one contender. Josh challenges him, Kaz says not right now, but a referee runs out and says the match is official. 

#1 Contender: Frankie Kazarian vs Josh Alexander

Kaz throws his jacket on Josh’s head, and attacks him with some strikes before Josh fights back and throws Kaz out. Commercial break, we see Kaz misses his Apron Guillotine, Josh goes for the Low Crossbody but Kaz dodges and Josh goes flying. Kaz starts throwing some chops and claws at the cauliflowered ears of Josh. Russian Leg Sweep from Kaz for a near fall. Josh swings wildly and Kaz ducks the strike and levels Josh with a Lariat.

Josh blocks a Vertical Suplex attempt, but Frankie pulls off a Fisherman’s Suplex after a few overhead strikes for a near fall. Josh stands up and connects with a straight right, rocks Kaz, Back Body Drop, into a Charging Forearm, Rolling Senton, 2 count! C4 Spike attempt countered into a Back Stabber and then Chicken Wing, but Josh fights it off, rolls through and into an Ankle Lock, Kaz kicks off and into a Head and Arm Cradle for a near fall and then the Guillotine Leg Drop into Slingshot DDT spot from Kaz for another 2 count!

Fade to Black, but its fought off, Big Boot but then Kaz counters the next move with a Power Slam into the Springboard Guillotine Leg Drop, but Josh grabs the Ankle Lock! Locomotion German Suplex time from Josh, Halfhatch Suplex after the Germans, floats over for a 2 count! C4 Spike attempt again, but Kaz fights it off, dumps him over the top rope, slingshots him in and into the Cutter for a near fall for Kaz! After the 2 Kaz grabs a chair and chain, the referee stops the chair of course, so he tries the chain, EY runs down and grabs the chain so Kaz pulls the Eddie Guerrero and the referee admonishes EY, but doesn’t DQ Josh. So as Kaz is busy laughing at EY, Josh picks the ankle, Ankle Lock with the Grapevine, Kaz taps.

ASH by Elegance vs Xia Brookside

Both are jawing at each other and then throw hands before Xia gets the upper hand with a Headscissors from the Top Turnbuckle, Charging Knees, a Flurry of Kicks, but when the ref forces some space in the corner, ASH is finally able to dodge and work over Xia with her Twisting Body Splash, a few choking moves, a corner Stomp into a Snap Suplex for 2. ASH is in charge elegantly, but the referee keeps forcing space on both of them when they go for corner attacks. Xia manages to take advantage a little, but ASH regains control, kicks Xia up the ramp and then lands her Cartwheel Back Elbow up the ramp. It actually looks pretty cool executed like that.

Headlocks and Hair Pulling to keep Xia down and using energy to kick out. ASH is getting frustrated but Xia is remaining persistent. ASH goes back to the Headlock, but Xia fights up, Jawbreaker, Back Elbow, Kick to the gut and Drop Toe Hold sends ASH face first into the middle buckle. Xia rips off 4 Double Knee Smashes to the back of ASH’s head into her Flying Crossbody for a close 2! Xia pulls her up, but ASH spins out, then Xia slips it, but ASH kicks her in the chest and deposits her to the outside and demands a count from the referee. Iceman puts Jeweled Knuckles/Rings on ASH’s hand, the referee catches her, removes the stuff from her fingers and Xia hits the School Girl Roll-Up for the flash win.

Sami Callihan vs The Good Hands

So the Good Hand Jobs are about to do their job to Sami. I’m just gonna assume Sami beats the hell out of both and wins with a Cactus Driver ’97. If anything interesting happens I might actually cover it, but come on now.

Kaz makes a Metallica reference with the “Wash Your Back So You Won’t Stab Mine”…and Sweet Amber is the only good song on St. Anger. So…I ain’t mad.

Eddie Edwards w/Alisha Edwards & Brian Myers vs Nic Nemeth

A little early ground wrestling and headlocks for control from both men. Nothing super flashy to start until we get to the rope run and Nemeth goes for the Flying Body Press to drop Eddie. Before Nemeth can follow up, Lish grabs his foot. Nic does have his brother Ryan in the crowd, trying to get chants going and do the old school ‘power up the babyface’ thing, but Eddie has been in control since Lish got involved. Simple offense, chokes, strikes, Snap Suplexes, Knee Drops, simple yet effective. But then Eddie ducks his head too early, Nemeth kicks him in the face, bounces his head off the buckles a few times, Dropkick sends Eddie reeling to the corner, Nemeth starts the 10 Count Punches but Myers hits the apron to distract and Eddie manages to slip the situation and push Nemeth to the floor.

Commercial break happens, Nemeth is trying to fight back with Chops, but a Kitchen Sink from Eddie puts Nemeth on the floor again! Clubbing blow from Eddie, but Eddie then misses the Hip Attack in the corner and Nemeth counters with the Rude Awakening into the 10 Count Rain of Elbows. Fame Ass-er miss, Eddie tries something but Nemeth turns it into that hesitation DDT for 2! Tuning up the band starts to build and Eddie powders to avoid it. Nemeth throws Eddie back in, goes to the top, but Eddie crotches him, rises up and hits the Superplex into Tiger Driver for 2! Eddie starts mocking with Tuning Up the band but Nemeth hits his own Superkick into an Olympic Slam for 2!

Both men just trade strikes Fighting Spirit style, Eddie says “Always Trust the System” and Nemeth shuts him up with a Headbutt. Danger Zone is blocked, Boston Knee Party gets ducked, they level each other with Lariats! Myers and Ryan Nemeth start fighting to distract the referee, Moose hits the ring and hits Nemeth with the belt. Eddie lands Boston Knee Party and The System wins again!

 

Overall Score: 6/10

A lame opening segment, a squash match, ASH by Elegance getting her first loss, and a weird way of just pulling the number one contender out of mid air makes for an awkward show. Also Kon still be involved in, literally anything, is negative. However, I can say there was a ton of stuff thrown at the wall this episode, so there’s a chance that some things landed better with other people than myself. The ballot segments were amusing, they overused the “I need to talk to you Santino” gimmick a bit much and personally I feel like having Jake versus Hammerstone is booking yourself into a weird corner.

But hey, the main event was fun, Nemeth getting laid out to the point that there could be a story reason to take him out of the Under Siege match. Kaz with the Metallica reference was pop worthy and I guess its a lot of ‘let’s see where it goes’ kind of angle creation. So it wasn’t complete trash, but its definitely a wait and see episode.


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