Can the One and Only be the one again?

Two SmackDowns ago, Ricochet lost the WWE Intercontinental Champion. But can he win it back before Money in the Bank? Or will Der Ring General still reign?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

• Men’s Money in the Bank Qualifier: Sami Zayn VS Shinsuke Nakamura; Sami wins and advances to MITB.
• Dance Challenge: The New Day VS Jinder Mahal & Shanky; No Contest.
• 2v1 Handicap Match: Raquel Rodriguez & Lacey Evans VS Sonya Deville; Raquel & Lacey win.
• WWE Intercontinental Championship: GUNTHER w/ Ludwig Kaiser VS Ricochet; Gunther wins and retains the title.
• Women’s Money in the Bank Qualifier: Shotzi Blackheart VS Aliyah Tamina; Shotzi wins and advances to MITB.
• Men’s Money in the Bank Qualifier Tag: Drew McIntyre & Sheamus VS The Usos; McIntyre & Sheamus win and still advance to MITB.

PLAY BY PLAY

Drew McIntyre heads to the ring!

The Scottish Warrior raises his sword for the pyro, and fans are fired up to see him! McIntyre may not have won against Sheamus in their Money in the Bank qualifier, but both he and the Celtic Warrior are going to Las Vegas because of just how badass they are! McIntyre welcomes Austin, Texas and the world to the show, and says when he was first drafted to SmackDown, he was willing to fight up from the bottom and reach the top to get a world title match. “And yet, no matter how many wins I seem to get, no matter how many moments I make, our Tribal Champion just keeps ducking me!”

So McIntyre will just have to force the issue and become Mr. MITB! And speaking of earning title matches, Brock Lesnar showed up and just has one at SummerSlam. But that’s alright, good for him, that’s the Brock way. McIntyre does things the hard way! McIntyre will be watching them very closely, and hopes those lads tear each other apart in the Last Man Standing match. Use all the weapons in the building, because whoever survives, just expect Mr. MITB to Claymore your ass! But wait, here comes Sheamus! Ridge Holland keeps Pete Dunne back as Sheamus mocks McIntyre’s claim, “I’m going to Claymore your ass~!”

McIntyre dares Sheamus to get in the ring and see what happens. But Sheamus tells “McHaggis” to cool his jets. But yeah, that Last Man Standing match is the perfect chance to cash-in after Brock and Roman destroy each other. But McIntyre is off his rocker if he thinks he’s the one to do it. Sheamus says McIntyre is only in this match because Adam Pearce felt sorry for him! The truth is, McIntyre doesn’t belong! Fans boo but Sheamus says McIntyre is a bigger bust than that new recruit to the Longhorns, Arch Manning! Fans boo more but Sheamus says the truth hurts.

So let’s be honest, these two go back a long way. McIntyre’s experience with the MITB contract is someone else cashing in on him and taking a title. Oof, that must’ve been rough. But ol’ Sheamy is a former Mr. MITB! And wouldn’t ya know, the man HE cashed in on was none other than Roman Bleedin’ Reigns! But then “Ladies and gentlemen… My name is Paul Heyman. And I serve as Special Counsel to your Tribal Chief, the Undisputed WWE Universal Heavyweight Champion, Roman… Reigns! The same Roman Reigns as you two have so aptly described, will defend the Undisputed Title at SummerSlam against BRRROCK. LESNARRR… In a Last Man Standing match.

“A Last Man Standing match, I might add, that will not be won by Brock… Lesnar…NO! The victory in that match and still Undisputed Champion: Roman. Reigns.” Fans boo but Heyman says there is a problem. Even though Roman is the GOAT, the Greatest Of All Time, after a Last Man Standing match with Brock Lesnar, Roman Reigns will be vulnerable to a cash-in of the MITB contract by someone like Sheamus or McIntyre. And that’s not a knock on the Tribal Chief. Even Lesnar will be vulnerable, not that he has a chance of winning! The point Heyman is making is that the champion, Roman, will be vulnerable, and as Sheamus said, it has happened before.

Heyman says he is here to ensure it won’t happen again. Don’t boo him! McIntyre wants Heyman to get tot he point. Heyman says he is here with “this great man, this top executive, this man whose reputation is beyond reproach” Adam Pearce, because Pearce has an important announcement to make. Pearce tells McIntyre and Sheamus that it has come to his attention that he was perhaps… a bit “hasty” in his decision to put them both in the MITB Ladder match, since neither of them lost yet neither of them won their qualifier.

“And after some, shall we say, influence by Mr. Heyman, it is my duty to inform you that WWE Management has decided to overrule my decision. Gentlemen, neither of you will be a part of the MITB ladder match.” Sheamus says Pearce is spineless! HOWEVER, there is a path forward! They can both qualifier together, so long as they put their grudge aside and team together to defeat the Undisputed WWE Tag Team Champions, the Usos! Jimmy & Jey make their way out while Heyman is grinning ear to ear. The Usos are doing the dirty work of the Head of the Table, but will the Celtic Connection make a one night stand against them?

Men’s Money in the Bank Qualifier: Sami Zayn VS Shinsuke Nakamura!

The Honorary Uce kinda got the Tribal Chief into that match with Matt Riddle last week, but he looks to redeem himself and even be an insurance policy. Kayla Braxton interviews Sami at gorilla to ask him how the King of Strong Style is waiting. Sami says this is going to be a great night for the Bloodline. The Usos have a chance to rid the MITB match of Drew McIntyre and Sheamus, which will happen. And why? Because they- no, “we” always do what’s right for Roman. Sami can say that cuz he’s an honorary member of the Bloodline. So he is dedicating this match to the Tribal Chief! He will BEAT Nakamura, go to Vegas and climb the ladder and take the contract as Mr. MITB!

And then cash-in on Lesnar or Roman at SummerSlam? No no no, don’t put words in his mouth, Kayla. That is not why Sami is doing this. He isn’t going to cash-in on Roman. He is doing this to protect Roman! Sami’s music hits, he heads out, but will he be heading to MITB?

The bell rings and Sami rushes in, but into a rolling ARMBAR! Sami flails, reaches, and gets the ROPEBREAK! Nakamura lets off and follows Sami to ropes. Nakamura fires off shots, KICKS Sami to a corner, then KICKS him again! Sami staggers around, he blocks a kick but not the ENZIGURI! Nakamura sees Sami go to another corner, runs in, but blocks boots. Nakamura puts Sami in the ropes, ROUNDHOUSE and SLIDING GERMAN! Fans fire up and Nakamura slides in to then dodge and DYNAMIC DROPKICK! Cover, TWO! Sami is still in this but Nakamura drags him right up. Sami gets away and out of the ring.

Fans boo but Nakamura pursues. Sami lurks and kicks Nakamura low, to then POST him! And EXPLODER into barriers! Fans chant “SAMI SUCKS!” while he leaves Nakamura behind. The ring count is 5 of 10, then 7! Nakamura manages to flounder up at 8 and he slides in at 9.9! Fans fire up and Sami is furious about the count! But then Nakamura cradles, TWO!! Sami escapes, and he CLOBBERS Nakamura! Sami is upset about that other count, and he stomps Nakamura in frustration. Sami stands on Nakamura’s neck but lets off as the ref counts. Nakamura gets up but Sami reels him in to whip to a corner.

Fans chant for Nakamura as Sami runs in at the corner. Nakamura BOOTS Sami, then goes up. Sami blocks the kick to TOSS Nakamura out to the floor! Fans boo while Nakamura is down in a heap, and SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and fans rally as Nakamura endures. Sami throws him down then talks trash. Fans boo, Sami goes up a corner, but Nakamura anchors a leg! Sami kicks at Nakamura and Nakamura staggers away. Sami leaps, into an ENZIGURI! Fans fire up as both men are down! Nakamura crawls to a cover, TWO! Sami and Nakamura slowly rise, Nakamura fires off a strike fest! Knee and AX KICK! Nakamura runs, but Sami scoops for a MICHINOKU DRIVER! Cover, TWO!! Nakamura survives and Sami can’t believe it! Sami is furious with the ref but he drags Nakamura to a drop zone.

Sami goes up the corner, fans boo but Nakamura trips Sami up this time! Nakamura climbs up after Sami, fans rally up as Sami flails and throws body shots. Sami CLUBS Nakamura down with elbows then headbutts him away. Sami adjusts, but Nakamura trips him up worse! Sami just landed on his honorary Uce! Nakamura aims, runs in, but is sent into a buckle! Cover, with feet on the ropes! The ref sees it! Sami is upset but the ref IS doing his job! Sami keeps arguing but Nakamura climbs up, FLYING KNEE! Cover, TWO!! Sami survives and he swings, misses, Nakamura kicks but Sami ducks, only for the WHEEL KICK to hit!

Both men are down and fans rally up. Nakamura gets back to a corner, takes aim and “YAO~!” But Sami runs away! Nakamura goes right out after him, to KINSHASA on the outside! Sami is in a daze but Nakamura has to get him in the ring! Well, the ring count is climbing, Nakamura could leave Sami down. Nakamura puts Sami in at 6, slides in at 8, HELLUVA KICK OUTTA NOWHERE!! Sami covers, Sami wins!!

Winner: Sami Zayn, by pinfall (advances to MITB)

The locker room leader snatches victory from the jaws of defeat! Nakamura is furious, but is he completely out of the running? And as for Sami, will he keep his word by simply keeping the MITB contract out of the hands of the Bloodline’s enemies?

Dance Challenge: The New Day VS Jinder Mahal & Shanky!

Ya bois, Xavier Woods & Kofi Kingston, are giving the Modern Day Maharaja and Skyscraping Shanky a rematch, but you’re reading that right. It won’t be a normal match, it’ll be all about the groove! Will Jinder let Shanky embrace the music in his heart if it means getting a win? We find out, after the break.

SmackDown returns as Jinder & Shanky make their entrance, and then the New Day get the mics to say, “Hold on, hold on, hold on.” “Hold on hold on hold on.” “Hold onhold onhold on.” “Hodohodohodo.” Woods says that last week, they beat these two clean as soap. Who wants to see this match again? Who who who who? NOBODY~! Ya bois the NEW~ DAY~ don’t do rematch after rematch after rematch, it just makes no sense. But more importantly, they have a bone to pick with Jinder. Jinder took away something from all of us that we all wanted to see: The Skyscraping, Dancing Machine SHANKY~! Fans cheer, they do like the dance.

So the good people of Austin, Texas are going to get what everyone wants. Do they want to see the dancing Shanky? They do! Do they? THEY DO! So then, give ’em what they want. Woods plays his trombone, and Shanky gets his groove. The music hits and Shanky really gets into it! But Jinder is mad again! He tells Shanky to stop goofing around, but Shanky shoves Jinder away! Jinder leaves, letting Shanky dance like a fool. Well that’s fine! Jinder walking out on Shanky like he did on 3MB! But then wait, what horn is that? That wasn’t the trombone. That’s the WAR HORN! The Viking Raiders are coming!

New Day and Shanky are ready, but where are Erik & Ivar? BOOM, the pyro goes off, but where are they? The Viking Raiders attack from behind! They CLOBBER Shanky, then they go after New Day! Erik is after Kofi, Ivar is after Woods! The Viking Raiders are fully embracing their heritage, and Ivar feeds Woods to Erik’s ELBOW! Then Ivar HEEL KICKS Kofi down! Fans boo but the Viking Raiders aren’t done! They get Kofi up for a DOUBLE POWERBOMB!! And then they drag Woods up, and Erik sends Woods up to Ivar on the top rope! SUPER POWERSLAM!! The raid has begun, will there be blood and gold in their future?

Adam Pearce sees his text messages.

And then Sonya Deville walks. He asks her how she’s been, and she says better than him. She saw him out there take McIntyre & Sheamus out of the MITB match after just putting them in. It gave her secondhand embarrassment. Not that he has to explain it to her, but these decisions come from above his head. Oh, a classic Pearce excuse. But what IS his excuse for treating the Women’s Division? What? Oh, he doesn’t know? Well, she shouldn’t say. But if she were him, she would want to know if someone was saying if she was in over her head. Is there a reason she’s here? Yes, several.

First, she’s been back on SmackDown for weeks and hasn’t had one match! Yet this Raquel Rodriguez walks in from some ranch in Texas and gets a MITB qualifier? Then “crocodile tears” Lacey Evans, after being gone a year, comes back and she gets a qualifier! Yet, Sonya? Just nothing? She is asking as a superstar for some respect! And for Pearce to not take it out on her that HIS in-ring career was a failure. Oh, didn’t he tell her? She’s in the ring with Lacey Evans and Raquel. If she wants competition, then she has a Handicap match, and that’s NEXT. Now excuse him. Sonya stuck her foot in her mouth, will she be able to get it out in order to survive what’s coming?

2v1 Handicap Match: Raquel Rodriguez & Lacey Evans VS Sonya Deville!

Big Mami Cool and the Model Soldier are already in the Women’s MITB Ladder match on behalf of SmackDown, but they did earn their spots. Will they show Sonya exactly how they did that? Or will Sonya find a way to survive her own karma?

SmackDown returns and Sonya makes her entrance, but with back-up. Shayna Baszler & Xia Li are following her, because they have bones to pick with the women who eliminated them from the running. The ref makes sure only Sonya is in the ring, and the bell rings. Lacey starts with Sonya, ties up, and Lacey trips Sonya to cover. ONE, Sonya avoids a sweep but Lacey blocks a kick! Lacey drops an elbow, covers, ONE! Shayna distracts Raquel just as Lacey wants a tag, and Sonya rolls Lacey up! Lacey slips out, and UPPERCUTS Sonya down! Sonya flounders, Shayna taunts Raquel, but Lacey drop toeholds Sonya down!

Lacey runs, Xia sweeps at her and Lacey glares at her, only for Sonya to CHOP BLOCK her leg! Sonya drags Lacey up, throws her down, then runs in to KNEE Lacey down! Cover, Raquel breaks it! Raquel keeps her eye on Shayna but she calls to Lacey. Fans rally up, Lacey crawls, but Sonya gets Lacey’s leg then her hair! Sonya brings Lacey around, but Lacey breaks free. Sonya jumps another leg sweep but Lacey ducks the roundhouse! DOUBLE BOOTS take both women down! Fans rally up while Raquel coaches Lacey. Lacey crawls, Sonya has no one, hot tag to Raquel! Fans fire up as Raquel ROCKS Sonya, then knees her low!

Raquel UPPERCUTS Sonya, then runs her over! Raquel drags Sonya up but Sonya kicks back! Sonya runs, but Raquel scoops her to a SLAM! Fans fire up and Raquel drags Sonya up again. Another scoop, and a LAWN DART in the corner! Sonya wobbles into the TEXAN- NO, Shayna distracts! Raquel drops Sonya, swipes at Shayna, but Sonya runs in to ROCK Raquel! Lacey tags in, Raquel blocks the punches to then whip Sonya into the WOMAN’S RIGHT! Cover, Lacey & Raquel win!

Winners: Lacey Evans & Raquel Rodriguez

But then Xia and Shayna attack! They all brawl, fans boo as Xia and Shayna have the advantage but Raquel turns it around! Sonya jumps on Raquel’s back for a SLEEPER, but Raquel stays on her feet! Xia runs in, but into a scoop and SLAM! Raquel then TOSSES Sonya, and Lacey shoves Shayna for a LARIAT! Raquel & Lacey stand tall and fans fire up, but will one of these two be this year’s Ms. MITB?

The Street Profits are here!

Angelo Dawkins is fired up, because next Saturday, it’s MITB! It’s Takeback Season! And while they’re here, they’re checking out the future crib to see how they’re gonna live! Oh, Los Lotharios are treating one young lady to a preview of the Kiss Cam. Sheesh! Well, alright. The Profits move on and… Drew Gulak is doing triceps lifts with the ladder! “Uncle Drew, what it do~?” Alright, alright, good workout. The Profits then come across MAD CAP MOSS! They say hey, and what Moss did to Corbin was “off the chain.” Now, this ain’t Dawkins’ expertise, but can Dawkins tell a joke? Uh, sure, go for it.

“Why did the coach go to the bank? To get his quarter back!” Dawkins sure thinks that’s a good one. Ford and Moss, not so much. But will the Profits make sure to stay serious when it comes time to take those titles from the Usos?

Ronda Rousey is- Wait, that’s not Ronda.

That’s Natalya in a Ronda cosplay, with a baby stroller with no baby in it! Just what is the Queen of Harts getting at here? We’ll see, after the break.

SmackDown returns and Natty has the mic. Natty pretends to be Ronda Rousey, and is sure we all know Ronda as the Baddest Woman on the Planet. There’s two reasons for that. One, Ronda doesn’t shut up about it. And two, just like her own mom, she never tapped out. But two weeks ago, Ronda almost did and here’s the footage to prove it. Natty shows us footage from a couple weeks ago, when Natty attacked the real Ronda and put on the Sharpshooter. Ronda did not tap, and it’s hard to say if she would have at all.

Back in present, Natty mocks Ronda’s punches, then says “After the incredibly brave, strong, talented and courageous Natalya almost made me submit, I realized two things: the Sharpshooter is way more deadly than the Armbar; and that I don’t stand a chance against Natalya at MITB.” So Natty, pretending to be Ronda, is going to get on her knees and then tap out right now. And also, “Ronda” wants to apologize to her fans around the world. The best thing to do right now is just hand over the SmackDown Women’s Championship to Natalya, retire, grab the diaper bag and push the stroller, and leave while she still can.

Fans boo but Natty says as a competitor, Ronda would be the SADDEST Woman on the Planet! But then here comes the REAL Ronda, and Natty is scared! Fans fire up to see the champion, and Ronda says, “Natty, that’s you? I almost didn’t recognize you without your rack out.” But obviously, while Natty can dress up like Ronda, the two of them couldn’t be any more different. But yeah, Natty’s right, Ronda isn’t gonna pass up having kids or miss a day of wrestling. But she also won’t mutilate her body chasing the industry’s impossible beauty standards. Oof… But that doesn’t mean Ronda will bend over and hand Natty a title just because Natty thinks she earned it.

That’s Natty’s problem. She thinks she’s owed something. She’s been here longer, taken more hits than anyone, and by God, Natty is a HART, we all owe her so much. But the truth is, Natty is so lacking in actual talent or charisma that despite her unrivaled pedigree and work ethic, the closest she’ll get to being a main event attraction in this company is dressing up as Ronda. Oh, nice jacket, by the way. Ronda goes and YANKS it off Natty! Natty throws the stroller! And again! And again! But Ronda blocks, they fight over it, and Natty shoves Ronda down with it! Natty goes in retreat, but will there be no running and hiding come MITB?

Backstage interview with Drew McIntyre & Sheamus.

Oh, and the Brutes, “Butch” and Ridge are there, too. But Sheamus keeps Pete Dunne back as Megan brings up the Celtic and Scottish Warriors will both have to put their grudge aside if they want to be back in the MITB match. Sheamus says yeah, and he is stuck with this big dorky, hairy lump of haggis dragging him down again. McIntyre says he can call Sheamus names, too! Doof! Idiot! Buffoon! Jackass! But here’s an idea: the Brutes can take the night off, McIntyre will fight the Usos on his own, and do us all a favor and get the job done. Oh, yeah, Sheamus would love to take the boys to the bar early, but the thing is, McIntyre can’t get it done on his own!

Sheamus says McIntyre is jealous of Sheamus being on the cusp of winning that MITB contract again and be the NEW World Universal Champion! The jealousy is eating McIntyre up but it is Sheamus’ time! McIntyre better bring his A Game, and Sheamus will see him out there. The Brutes head out and McIntyre corrects Sheamus that it’s the WWE Universal title. But will these two focus on the common enemy tonight?

Ludwig Kaiser is on stage.

“Ladies and gentlemen… Your Intercontinental Champion…! DER RING GENERAL~! GUNTHER…!” And with that, the champion makes his entrance! Will Imperium’s ruthless leader continue to “restore” this title to its former glory? Or will the One and Only be champion once again?

WWE Intercontinental Championship: GUNTHER w/ Ludwig Kaiser VS Ricochet!

SmackDown returns and Ricochet makes his entrance. The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see if Gunther can beat Ricochet twice!

Ricochet rushes Gunther at the bell and DRPKICKS him! Then Ricochet fires off fast hands in the corner, Gunther shoves him back, but Ricochet dodges the chop to fire off more forearms! Gunther blocks the kick and reels Ricochet into a scoop and SLAM! Ricochet writhes, Gunther drags him up to whip him to ropes and BOOT him down! Ludwig enjoys it as Gunther stalks Ricochet to ropes. Gunther stomps Ricochet, drags Ricochet up and EuroUppers Ricochet right down! Gunther looms over Ricochet, grinds his foot into Ricochet’s face, but Austin rallies up for Ricochet. Ricochet throws hands, goes for a leg, but Gunther sprawls to block.

Gunther then reaches out to get the leg for a HALF CRAB! And it’s deep! Ludwig says he has goosebumps watching this as Gunther shifts to an STF! Ricochet endures, moves around, reaches out, and gets the ROPEBREAK! Gunther lets off quickly and waits on Ricochet to get up. Ludwig talks trash, Gunther clinches Ricochet in the corner to EuroUpuper! Gunther whips corner to corner, runs in, but Ricochet dodges to GAMANGIRI! Ricochet springboards, but into Gunther’s arms! GERMAN SUPLEX, but Ricochet lands on his feet! ENZIGURI! Gunther stays up and he shoves Ricochet, but Ricochet JUMP KNEES!

Ricochet JUMP KNEES again! Gunther wobbles, Ricochet runs, but Gunther CLOBBERS him! Ludwig says “NEIN!” and Gunther CHOPS Ricochet! Uppercut! CHOP! Uppercut! CHOP!! GERMAN SUPLEX! Ricochet flounders up into the SHOTGUN! Gunther drags Ricochet back up, reels him in, GENERAL BOMB!! Cover, Gunther wins again!

Winner: Gunther, by pinfall (still WWE Intercontinental Champion)

The belt stays with Gunther, just as he and Ludwig promised! Will the title, the mat and all of the WWE be sacred under Imperium’s reign?

Backstage interview with Paul Heyman.

Kayla asks Heyman about using his influence to alter things in the Men’s MITB match in regards to Sheamus and McIntyre. “Ironically, you could be doing Brock Lesnar the greatest favor in the world.” Heyman smirks and sighs. But then Sami steps in to say he doesn’t have to answer any question this supposed journalist asks. Kayla knows what she did! She twisted Sami’s words, implying that if Sami won- No, when Sami wins the MITB match, he would dare cash-in on Roman Reigns! Wise Man, the Honorary Uce would never, never do that. Heyman smiles and Sami says he’d cash-in on Lesnar, though.

Oh, wait. The smile is gone and Sami tries to explain what he meant by that, but no words come out. Sami just leaves. Heyman then looks at Kayla, but he is also speechless. Will Sami stop sticking his foot in his mouth long enough to get up the ladder and win that contract?

Women’s Money in the Bank Qualifier: Shotzi Blackheart VS Tamina!

Cards are subject to change, and as much as the wild child wanted payback on #Aliyah316 on the road to MITB, Aliyah is not cleared to compete. So instead, the Daughter of Superfly is here to get her opportunity at the ladder match! Will Shotzi learn there really is no one meana than Tamina? Or can Shotzi welcome Tamina to the ball pit?

SmackDown returns as Shotzi makes her entrance. The bell rings and the two tie up. Shotzi waistlocks, jumps on for a SLEEPER, but Tamina isn’t even bothered! Tamina THROWS Shotzi off, Shotzi gets to a corner but Tamina RAMS into her. Tamina whips Shotzi corner to corner, runs in to back elbow, then she brings Shotzi around to whip to ropes for a POWERSLAM! Cover, TWO! Tamina keeps on Shotzi with a bump off buckles, then she hoists Shotzi up top. Shotzi fights Tamina off but Tamina ROCKS her! Shotzi BOOTS Tamina, and reels her in for a HANGING HEADSCISSOR! The ref counts, Shotzi lets off at 4!

Shotzi runs back in and DROPKICKS Tamina! Tamina staggers into a ROLLING ELBOW! Shotzi fires off, Tamina shoves her, but Shotzi ENZIGURIS! Shotzi runs and hits the BALLPIT SENTON on the ropes! Tamina staggers to a corner, Shotzi goes up the corner and leaps, into a SUPERKICK! Cover, ROPEBREAK!! Shotzi survives but Tamina fires off hands in anger. Tamina runs, but is sent into the POST! Tamina staggers, Shotzi reels her in, FISHERMAN DDT! Cover, Shotzi wins!

Winner: Shotzi Blackheart, by pinfall (advances to MITB)

Shotzi just made sure Tamina will #NeverWakeUp, and now Shotzi is moving on to Vegas! Will Shotzi have a golden ticket to the title?

The Viking Raiders speak.

Erik says, “The time for fun and games is over.” Ivar says, “For far too long, we’ve been pushed to the side. We’ve been forgotten.” The Viking Raiders are here to rip apart anyone who stands in their way. No one, and they mean no one, is safe. Who will find themselves on the warpath of these more vicious Viking Raiders?

Max Dupri gives his client(s) a pep talk.

We can’t see who he’s talking to, but it seems it is finally time to see who joined Maximum Male Models! Will they live up to the hype?

Maximum Male Models heads to the ring!

Or… Not. Dupri is in Pearce’s face and he asks Pearce if he’s really a WWE Official. Dupri can’t tell. Based on his actions, or rather, inaction, Pearce has again ruined the debut of Dupri’s clients! Pearce’s title should be “WWE Saboteur.” First the lighting, now maybe the birthday boy partied too hard because he forgot to provide the dressing room accoutrement! Pearce tries to talk but Dupri tells him to NOT interrupt! How hard is it to provide a dressing room at the specific temperature of 68.3 degrees with a mini-fridge stocked with the finest locally-sourced water from the nearest spring? They aren’t asking for green M&M’s or something crazy! They’re models, not monsters.

But if Pearce can’t handle this job, then Dupri can’t send his clients out there to debut. Get this right! Fine, next week it is. Good! Because Dupri and his models are ready to fulfill the MMM Mission: To titillate the juices of your guilty pleasures!! But will it be good enough for Dupri next week?

Pat McAfee gets on the desk.

“One week ago, a lowlife scumbag named BUM ASS CORBIN~!” Fans echo that, and Pat continues with, “stumbled his bitch ass over to the commentary table and let the world know that apparently, he doesn’t love the way I do my job.” A recap video shows just what McAfee means, and it was after Corbin lost the “Last Laugh Match” to Moss. Corbin said if they were to get in the ring, McAfee would wish he were dead. “That’s not possible! That’ll never happen! I love my life! I enjoy every single moment! So much so, that when I walked into the WWE ThunderDome for the first time, all I could think was, ‘I feel alive!'”

Fans cheer and McAfee says that when he puts on this headset or talks into a mic for the MILLIONS~! “And millions~!” Shout out to The Rock, but McAfee says when he’s in front of the fans, he feels alive! So “Bum Ass” can catfish all he wants, acting like he’s not some insufferable, arrogant DOUCHEBAG, maybe he can ponder this? SummerSlam, in Nashville, Tennessee, Corbin VS McAfee! And when McAfee kicks Corbin’s teeth down his throat, the only thing McAfee will think is, “I feel more alive than I’ve ever felt in my entire life, right here at SummerSlam!” McAfee closes with another chant of “BUM ASS CORBIN~!” and tells Corbin not to be a coward!

Men’s Money in the Bank Qualifier Tag: Drew McIntyre & Sheamus VS The Usos!

For one night only, and for as long as they can hold it together, the Celtic Connection is back in action! But we’re already off to a bad start with McIntyre cutting Sheamus’ music short. Will the Scottish Stud and the Fella of Fight Night win back their spots in MITB together? Or will Jimmy & Jey sweep these two under the rug so that the Tribal Chief doesn’t have to even worry about them?

SmackDown returns and the Undisputed Tag Team Champions make their entrance. But wait! The Profits make their way out to ringside, because they want to keep an eye on the champions ahead of their title match on MITB. The teams sort out and McIntyre argues with Sheamus. Dunne gets in, HE wants to start! But he’s not part of the match so Ridge brings him out of the ring. Jimmy goes after McIntyre so the decision is made for them! Jimmy fires off haymakers while the Profits are on commentary. Jimmy lets off in the corner, but he whips corner to corner. McIntyre comes right back to CLOBBER Jimmy!

McIntyre warns Jey that he’ll be next, and then he brings Jimmy up to tag Sheamus. The Celtic Connection double whip, then double hip toss Jimmy! The teamwork is still there, Sheamus EuroUppers Jimmy then fireman’s carries. Jimmy fights free, shoves Sheamus to the corner, and Jey tags in. Jey runs in to forearm smash! Jey ROCKS Sheamus against ropes, then glares at the Profits. But Sheamus throws Jey out and ROCKS him, to then gives him Beats of the Bodhrain! Sheamus goes all the way to nine, then winds up for a TENTH! Sheamus then fireman’s carries, ROLLING SENTON!

Sheamus goes to a corner and he soaks up the cheers and jeers. He’s copying McIntyre’s countdown, but Jey bails out! Dunne wants after Jey, but McIntyre intercepts him, and TOSSES him into barriers! Sheamus is upset but Dunne would’ve cost them! Ridge keeps these two from fighting, but no good! They’re throwing hands, and the Usos DOUBLE DIVE! Down go Sheamus & McIntyre, and they’re blaming each other as SmackDown goes to break!

SmackDown returns again and Jey has Sheamus in a chinlock. Fans rally as Sheamus endures and fights up to his feet. Sheamus throws elbows to get free, but Jey throw hands. Sheamus counter punches, ROCKS Jey, then shoves him. Jimmy tags in before Jey takes the IRISH CURSE BACKBREAKER! SUPERKICK takes Sheamus down! Cover, TWO!! Sheamus survives and the Profits are laser focused, telling the Usos to focus on the match, too. Sheamus is in a corner, Jimmy fires off hands on him. Jimmy DECKS Sheamus, and again, and then stomps away! The ref counts, Jimmy lets off and seethes while fans cheer and jeer.

Jimmy goes back to Sheamus but Sheamus kicks from below! And again! Sheamus gets up to throw haymakers but blocks Jimmy’s kick. But Jimmy hits the DRAGON WHIP! Jimmy raises the finger, #WeTheOnes, and then he runs corner to corner to HIP ATTACK! The Usos raise their fingers to the sky and fans are torn. Jimmy wants one more, “UCE! SO!” and Jimmy runs in again, into a KNEE! Sheamus takes Jimmy down and Jey is shocked! Fans are thunderous and the Profits are standing up for this one! Sheamus and Jimmy crawl, hot tags to McIntyre and Jey! McIntyre rallies on Jey as the Profits are fired up for him!

McIntyre whips, CLOBBERS Jey, then clinches in a corner for an OVERHEAD Belly2Belly! Jey staggers but swings on McIntyre, but McIntyre gets around him. Jey denies the neckbreaker and POSTS McIntyre instead! McIntyre flops back in, into a SUPERKICK! Tag to Jimmy, he SUPERKICKS Sheamus off the apron! The Usos DOUBLE SUPERKICK McIntyre! Jimmy goes up top and fans fire up, USO SPLASH!! Cover, Sheamus breaks it!! Fans are fired up again as Sheamus whips Jey but Jey reverses to toss Sheamus. McIntyre dodges Jey to NECKBERAKER this time! Then a NECKBREAKER for Jimmy!

McIntyre kips up, fans fire up, and the countdown begins! But Jey drags Jimmy out, so McIntyre pursues them both! SUPERKICK from Jimmy! McIntyre flops, but here comes Dunne and Ridge! They were sent to the back after that scuffle earlier, but no one can control Butch! The ref is distracted and Ridge gets Dunne to back down. Sami is here! He aims for McIntyre, but Dawkins POUNCES him instead! The Profits stop the Honorary Uce, and then they talk trash on Usos! But then McIntyre FLIES onto everyone!! Fans are thunderous with McIntyre as he glares at Jey. Jey retreats, but into a BROGUE from Sheamus!!

McIntyre hurries to put Jimmy in, and he hurries to count it down! “THREE! TWO! ONE!!” CLAY- SUPERKICK! But McIntyre stays up to rebound and CLAYMORE!! Cover, McIntyre & Sheamus win!!

Winners: Drew McIntyre & Sheamus, by pinfall (still advance to MITB)

And in the end, the field stays the way it was! The Celtic Connection are back in the MITB Ladder Match, but will this momentum help one of them take that contract?

My Thoughts:

A pretty good SmackDown with a lot of good build towards MITB. For one, we saw a somewhat clever way of filling out the night by teasing Sheamus & McIntyre were going to be out of the Men’s MITB Ladder match. Great promos from McIntyre and Sheamus and a great tag match to close the night. Sheamus & McIntyre win to stay in the match, and it is a good detail that Heyman did this because he was most worried about these two coming for Roman Reigns. Now, there’s a good chance neither of them win the contract, and McIntyre already called his shot for Clash at the Castle, so this works to give Seth Rollins the contract.

Great qualifier match from Sami VS Nakamura, and within story, it makes a lot of sense for Sami to get in the match, because as his promo said, he’ll totally cash-in on Brock if Brock wins. And in saying that, there is tension again between him and the Bloodline. We also got a fairly good qualifier for the Women’s MITB after having to adjust for Aliyah being out. Shotzi winning makes sense since she was likely going to beat Aliyah for this spot. The segment with Natty and Ronda was also decent, with the very cheesy idea of Natty impersonating Ronda. The only flaw was that she had too much charisma. Ronda did have some good burns on Natty, though, and Ronda stands tall here to get even from last time. Expect Natty to stand tall in the go-home segment next week so that the math favors Ronda.

This “delaying” of the Maximum Male Models clients is getting a bit tired, but it could again just be because they don’t know who is in the faction. Again, it should just be Mansoor and “Mace” Dio Maddin after the test runs they did at house shows. Mansoor and Mace both need to do something, and this is better than nothing. I liked the meta in the New Day’s promo about having rematches again and again after the feud with the Brawling Brutes. But what a surprise that Viking Raiders returned to SmackDown with a new look and a new Heel edge. Hopefully this time around, we get a more War Machine ROH World Tag Team Champions run from these guys, for their sake.

Sonya is back on SmackDown and technically back to her old tricks in having Shayna with her, and now she’s added Xia Li. Sonya trying to turn the Handicap Match around was a clever enough Heel move, but of course Raquel & Lacey win for the momentum going into MITB. Ironically, Lacey & Raquel look like a good team for the WWE Women’s Tag Team Championship tournament the WWE will probably never go through with. But Gunther VS Ricochet was not what it should’ve been and I don’t know why. Both are great competitors, but this was shorter than the first and as such, not as good. I hope they figure out how to make Gunther actually feel as awesome as he did when he was Walter in NXT UK and even NXT 2.0.

My Score: 8.2/10