Andrew’s IMPACT Results & Match Ratings: 7.14.2022

Coming into tonight all we really knew was Tenille Dashwood is getting sacrificed to Masha, Maclin and James Storm have some beef and the rest could spin out into who knows what. With VBD in flux since Eric Young is trying to reign his lackeys back in to remember their place and Honor No More having trust issues; the rest of the night can go any way really.

Only one way to find out what happens! Oh and it looks like Taya and Rosemary are traveling to go find Havok. So adventures in the Undead Realm are back!

Check out what happened when @thetayavalkyrie and @WeAreRosemary went looking for @FearHavok in the UNDEAD REALM!

……Jessica?#IMPACTonAXSTV pic.twitter.com/QCnmlSRNzy

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) July 15, 2022

Ratings:

• Violent by Design (Joe Doering, Deaner & Eric Young) vs Motor City Machine Guns & Josh Alexander: Shelley wins via Border City Stretch – ***
• James Storm vs Steve Maclin: Maclin wins via Exposed Turnbuckle – ** 1/2
• Chelsea Green vs Mickie James: Chelsea wins via Roll-Up w/Feet on Ropes – *** 1/2
• Tenille Dashwood w/Gisele Shaw & Madison Rayne vs Masha Slamovich: Masha wins via Russian Death Device – Squash
• Honor No More (Eddie Edwards, Kenny King, Matt Taven & Mike Bennett) vs Bullet Club (Ace Austin, Chris Bey, Karl Anderson & Doc Gallows): Taven wins via Aurora Borealis – ***

Results:

Violent by Design (Joe Doering, Deaner & Eric Young) vs Motor City Machine Guns & Josh Alexander

The match looks to starts as a 3v2 since EY doesn’t come out with Doering and Deaner, but right as the bell rings, the music hits again and EY walks out not acknowledging Deaner and Doering. He’s making his point from last week clear that he is in charge of this group and he sets the pace. 

Josh Alexander starts against Deaner while he’s preoccupied with EY ignoring him, and then constant tags, pass off spots and Deaner is getting smacked around a bit. Deaner gets caught in the Ankle lock and Doering finally grabs his little buddy to the outside. EY suddenly sneak attacks Josh while he’s distracted but he’s still acting like the outsider in the team while Doering and Deaner are the only ones working together.

EY calls for a tag while Deaner chokes Josh on the ropes. He slaps on a simple headlock, gets pushed into his friendly corner and Doering tags in to work on the champion. This dynamic gives old vibes of Raven and The Flock. Where they are his tools to achieve victory and not equals. Josh tries to fight back against Doering, but right when he starts building some momentum, Fun Splash from Doering, Josh is a pancake and then we go to commercial.

After commercial both legal men are down and Josh finally tags in Sabin and we get some erratic hot tags clearing the ring. After  a few MCMG classics, Thunder Express, Missile Dropkick/Flatliner combo for a near fall and then Josh and EY lock horns again. EY fights off the Ankle Lock, Shelley tags in and EY has an advantage over Shelley. Jumping Cutter from EY, 2 count, he tags in Deaner but there’s too much talking and High Speed Dirt on Deaner. EY tries his luck, Double Superkicks send EY out, Doering tries to swing things back for VBD but Josh and the Guns run him around in circles and knock him out of the ring.

Shelley locks on the Border City Stretch, Josh locks in an Ankle Lock on EY and the stereo submissions for the stereo tap outs. Shelley does a little bit of a Keiji Mutoh tribute after the victory. As Sabin hands the belt to Josh, there’s one of those pauses of maybe we can see a Gun go for the World title. Sabin has held it…Shelley never has.

James Storm vs Steve Maclin

I’ve always loved Storm’s “Long Necks and Rednecks” intro music. 

Little bit of quick back and forth, Dosido Hip Toss from James, looks for the early Last Call Superkick…but Maclin powders. Maclin comes back in after some chirping, Storm lights up Maclin in the ropes, we go to commercial, and Maclin is in charge now. Storm fights his way back a little before Maclin hits the STO from the corner to put the brakes on the Cowboy.

Maclin drops the knee across his neck on the middle rope then starts introducing him to each top turnbuckle, but Storm slowly starts to fire like an old Sting or Hogan hulk up. Sends Maclin into the corner, Maclin dumps him over, Enzuigiri though, Storm comes in, runs the ropes and Flying Neckbreaker. Storm takes it to the top rope as he’s looking for something, but Maclin slips through, Tree of Woe on Storm, Caught in the Crosshairs for a near fall.

Mayhem for All attempted, countered into the old Eye of the Storm, but Maclin slides down before the spins gets started and they keep trading blows. An Uppercut rock Maclin, Avalanche Frankensteiner from Storm into a Macho Man Style Elbow…but Maclin kicks out! Storm tries to figure out what to do, hits a Codebreaker as Maclin flies. Last Call attempt, run into the corner, Maclin rips off the pad as he gets Victory Rolled, kicks off at 2 to send Storm into the exposed turnbuckle and picks up the win.

Lights out, Sami Callihan shows up but Maclin is already up the ramp. Maclin outsmarted Sami and Sami is pissed. 

Ric Flair Moment of the Week presented by Starcast: Lockdown 2010, Lethal Lockdown: Team Flair vs Team Hogan

BREAKING: @ScottDAmore has made it it official! @SuperChrisSabin takes on @fakekinkade NEXT WEEK on #IMPACTonAXSTV and the winner gets @Walking_Weapon at #EMERGENCE for the IMPACT World Championship! pic.twitter.com/o5FlrVqSFm

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) July 15, 2022

Chelsea Green vs Mickie James

I’ll admit, I didn’t expect Mickie’s involvement with Impact to last as long as it has but I’m not mad. 

Chelsea starts off chirping says she knows what she likes, and kisses Mickie. Mickie smirks and says “oh yeah” and returns the make out session, before they actually remember this isn’t a Pornhub parody of wrestling.

Thesz Press from Mickie and then she drives Chlesea into the corner, doesn’t really relent so the referee gets involved causing Chelsea to go after her but they literally roll around and out to the apron before Chelsea grabs her and tosses her to floor from the apron. This definitely is more of a cat fight than a wrestling match to start with.

Another Thesz Press from the apron has Mickie in control, she goes to the top rope and Chelsea stops her. Chelsea lands a few strikes, a hesitation dropkick and starts focusing on Mickie’s back and shoulders with a few attacks and a Camel Clutch. Mickie fights off, manages to get a few shots in, and slowly gets more aggressive. Chelsea trips up Mickie and starts hammering elbows into the neck, knees into the back and a Bow & Arrow submission before Mickie powers out a little.

Chelsea has a done a great job focusing on Mickie’s head/neck area for the I’m Prettier. Chelsea even gets the best of Mickie and then Curb Stomps her into the bottom turnbuckle. Arrogance takes over and Chelsea sits on the bottom rope and tells Mickie to get out of her ring, Mickie is washed up, so Mickie kicks the crap out of her.

Things move up the ramp and they are straight up brawling. They head back to the ring, Mickie hits a Flying Neckbreaker as both need time to recover before we lead into rope run matching strikes. Forearm shivers are traded before Mickie ducks one and beats on Chelsea, Flapjack, Kip Up, Avalanche Thesz Press for 2. Mickie picks her up, Chelsea slaps Mickie, MICK KICK, for 2 because Chelsea was too close to the ropes and grabbed it. Chelsea kicks Mickie’s foot out from under her, Curb Stomp and 1-2-referee catches the tights grab. Counters left and right, I’m Prettier counter, MICK D-T counter and Chelsea hits the School Boy roll-up with feet on the ropes for the win.

Tenille Dashwood w/Gisele Shaw & Madison Rayne vs Masha Slamovich

Masha has been murdering everyone, Tenille wants nothing to do with this match, Gisele is kind of amused since she’s seen this happen before (and at least its not her) and Madison is confused.

Tenille tries to use the ropes and powder away from the Russian. Tenille catches her with a Back Elbow, but a Dragon Screw, in a Yakuza Kick…Russian Death Device and Masha wins as we all knew it was going to happen. Madison looks terrified.

Going home?.. What next for Mickie James?!#IMPACTonAXSTV pic.twitter.com/mfAK8qUCTg

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) July 15, 2022

Honor No More (Eddie Edwards, Kenny King, Matt Taven & Mike Bennett) vs Bullet Club (Ace Austin, Chris Bey, Karl Anderson & Doc Gallows)

Honor No More comes out first and as the non-participant members start to leave Heath flies in and hits a Wake Up Call on Vincent as he bails into the crowd. Heath doing his best Diamond Dallas Page impression. 

Early on there’s no reason to discuss things, it’s just a donnybrook that turns into a lot of bodies flying and Bullet Club standing tall into the final commercial break. After the break Karl is working over Taven, but you have to assume the Trend can turn this around. Big LG comes in and Taven absorbs those dumb hamhocks in the corner that Gallows throws. Here we go, Taven fires back but then eats a Lariat for his trouble. Bey gets tagged in, tandem assisted Leg Drop for 2.

Kick in the face, smack talk baits Taven into the corner, Bey slips out, Tiger Feints back in to trip up Taven. Also takes out Bennett and Bey is rolling, Pops everyone before HNM finally grabs him on the ropes, holds him and Taven hits the Slingshot Leg Sweep and tags in King. King trips up Bey, locks in a Half Crab and tags in Eddie.

Chris Bey becomes the punching bag for Honor No More, everyone gets a few shots in, Just the Tip from Taven for 2. Eddie comes back in, desperation Pele Kick, Eddie grabs the foot, HNM distracts the referee so he doesn’t see the tag to Karl. Taven comes back in and does the Nash Foot Choke in the corner. Eddie and Bennett try to clear the Bullet Club members and hit some teamwork moves on Bey. Bey gets a Frankensteiner, for space, a strike and then just side steps Bennett to tag in Karl. Senton on Taven starts to slow things down and clear the picture.

Taven tries to turn things around, eats a boot, then an Avalanche Neckbreaker lays out Taven. It’s time for a Magic Killer but now we get the signature spam to break up the attempted finish. Magic Killer attempt 2, Bennett distracts the ref, Maria Low Blows Gallows, Blockbuster from King on Karl. Discus Elbow, Boston Knee Party and Aurora Borealis from Taven pins Gallows and gives Honor No More the win!

Overall Score: 7.25/10

This show did a little bit of everything. It set up next week with the huge announcement of Alex Shelley versus Chris Sabin, it gives OGK an avenue to challenge for the tag titles, Mickie and Chelsea put on a hell of a match and we even got an Undead Realm campy segment. Let’s also not overlook that Maclin is building a solid program with Sami and just generally being a cerebral mercenary.

Small glimmers of things from WCW amuse me, EY and VBD are like Raven and the Flock, Heath with the drive by attacks on HNM while exiting through the crowd remind me of DDP dealing with nWo. Little nostalgia pulls like that bring me more enjoyment than the average person, perhaps, but even without the reminiscing, its solid angles that aren’t always done to death.

Also purely biased note, Killer Kelly is someone I’m very much looking forward to returning to IMPACT. She’s got a great look, awesome personality and pretty damn good in the ring. I’d totally be okay for her to break Masha’s undefeated Squash-fest.

All in all, good show, lots of solid points and fun for many different fans of the product. Good variety programming.