Andrew’s IMPACT Wrestling Results & Match Ratings: 8.4.2022

It’s IMPACT Thursday again folks! The Motor City Machine Guns are in tag team action! PCO is in the main event and we get to see if Masha continues her rampage!

I guess we also can’t overlook the announcement that went out earlier about Madison Rayne joining AEW, so does that mean she’s going to get written out of IMPACT in the next few weeks, or will she be working with both companies? Lots of interesting potential tonight!

Let’s start with Killer Kelly’s vignette about her debut first though:

.@Kelly_WP makes her in ring debut NEXT WEEK on #IMPACTonAXSTV! pic.twitter.com/ViEXQPc5yN

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) August 5, 2022

Ratings:

• Deonna Purrazzo vs Rosemary w/ Jessicka & Taya: Deonna wins via Double Leg Cradle – **
• Digital Media Championship: Brian Myers (c) vs Black Taurus w/Crazzy Steve: Myers retains via Dirty Roll-Up – ** 1/2
• Gisele Shaw vs Masha Slamovich: Masha wins via Russian Death Device – **
• Deaner & Joe Doering vs The Motor City Machine Guns: Sabin wins via Cradle – ***
• Raj Singh vs Sami Callihan: Sami wins via Crossface Chickenwing – Squash
• Derby City Street Fight: PCO vs Doc Gallows: PCO wins via Avalanche Thumbtack Fist Drop – *** 1/4

Results:

Deonna Purrazzo vs Rosemary w/ Jessicka & Taya

Rosemary starts with more of the bruiser style, even hitting a Corner Bulldog, before Deonna starts to slowly build her position. Deonna was applying most of her anticipated offense before Rosemary caught moments with her Upside Down and dual strike spot when Rosemary’s Shotgun Kick connected at the same time as Deonna’s Pump Kick. Deonna tries the Fujiwara, Rosemary rolls to counter, Deonna gets kicked out of the ring, bad mouths the stupid party and causes Jessicka to get angry. Rosemary hits the Spear for a visible pinfall, but Jessicka has the referee distracted. By the time the referee is disengaged, Deonna hits a Double Leg Cradle for the inadvertent cheap win.

.@TheEddieEdwards has questions about @PCOisNotHuman! #IMPACTonAXSTV pic.twitter.com/tYXKHQdCfI

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) August 5, 2022

Digital Media Championship: Brian Myers (c) vs Black Taurus w/Crazzy Steve

Myers has a few moments where he was on the early receiving end, but starts to turn it around and put the boots to Taurus. It’s not until a Back Roll into a few quick strikes, Dropkick and then the Tope con Hilo. Taurus is trying to reestablish himself as a mid card threat at least, but he’s been eating so many losses or in low impact angles, it’s hard to believe.

Commercial hits and Taurus loses any moment with Myers smacking him around and pulling off his Baseball Slide Trip. Backdrop gives Myers a near fall, but we’re not quite done yet here. Myers gets a little cocky, Drop Toe Hold in the corner has Myers eat the turnbuckle. Corner Tiger Feint, into a Missile Dropkick for 2. Quick Kick, into Edgecution from Myers gives him a two.

Roster Cut attempt, countered by the Spear from Black Taurus for 2. Black Taurus goes for PowerBull, Myers pokes the eyes through the mask, Roll-Up with the ropes and Myers retains.

Bhupinder comes out, throws Myers back in the ring, Steve and Taurus get in a few pot shots, Bhupinder hits the Gargoyle Spear and then pose over Myers. Not exactly a normal babyface position, but should get Bhupinder title shot soon. 

Gisele Shaw vs Masha Slamovich

Gisele tries to use the ropes like Toru Yano, then Masha gets her in a full mount ground and pound. Gisele tries to reverse an Irish Whip with a wrist clutch break and a Backfist, Masha ducks, lands her own Backfist. Gisele goes to the corner, leaps over and catches Masha with a Knee Strike for a near fall. The first near fall in Masha’s Impact career.

Strikes into a German Suplex Hold, but Gisele kicks out. Russian Death Device gives Masha another win, but the most competitive so far.

ImpactPlus Flashback Moments: 4/5/2016 – Gail Kim vs Jade vs Madison Rayne – Knockouts Championship Match

Deaner & Joe Doering vs The Motor City Machine Guns

Shelley and Deaner start, but before they lock up, Doering jumps Shelley and Deaner wipes out Sabin. VBD tries to keep Shelley in a corner, but Shelley works out with some quick action and Sabin climbs back up and strings a few moves together. Missile Dropkick/Flatliner for a near fall. Shelley gets knocked off the ropes by Doering, Deaner hits a TKO Jawbreaker into a Lariat for 2. Doering gets tagged in, Rebound Elbow, Shelley kicks out at 1.

After some normal focus on Shelley, Deaner gets tagged back in, the Shinsuke Style Corner Drape Knee Lift, Deaner goes for a Standing Headbutt, but misses. Sabin gets the hot tag, takes out Doering and starts lighting up Deaner. MCMG quick attacks, Guerrilla Warfare, into the Five Hole Dive to wipe out Doering. Deaner tries to sneak a win but Sabin is legal so the pinfall attempt on Shelley doesn’t matter, Sabin flies in with the rolling cradle to turn one pinfall into another. Sabin wins!

Kushida comes out for the save when Doering and Deaner do their usual post match beatdown, but Eric Young hits the ring to take out Kushida.

Raj Singh vs Sami Callihan

Sami doesn’t take this match seriously, which he shouldn’t. So Raj manages a little quick offense and a 1 count before Callihan baits him into a bad corner Splash and then rocks him with combination strikes. Cactus Driver ’97 into a Crossface Chickenwing, and Raj taps immediately.

Sami calls out Moose and Maclin, Moose’s music plays, but Maclin shows up on the ramp. Moose is in the ring, goes for the Lights Out Spear, but Sami dodges. Maclin hits the ring, they try for the numbers game but Sami fights them both off. Thumbs Up, Thumbs Down but Maclin hits the Low Blow. Lights Out from Moose, K.I.A. from Maclin, and Sami is left laying. 

Derby City Street Fight: PCO vs Doc Gallows

Gallows tries to take it outside of the ring fast and right at PCO, but PCO gets the momentum back and drives LG into the steps and the ramp. PCO sets up two chairs, throws Gallows into the ring to try and Suplex him back out, but as PCO climbs up, Gallows charges with the Big Boot and sends PCO through his chairs.

Commercial break allows LG to throw a few chairs into the ring, as PCO chucks a Wet Floor sign at Gallows’ head, then goes for a few Sabu style chair throws and dueling Chairshots. LG tries to put a pile of chairs legs first, but PCO stops him then sets up 6 chairs with Spines aligned, drapes Gallows on the chairs, goes to the top rope and LG tosses PCO into the spines of all the chairs. Very close near fall where PCO barely grabs the ropes and the referee allows it to break the count.

PCO Chokeslams Gallows through a table and then goes looking for toys. He passes a drum set, to cut the ring skirt and canvas, to expose the wood, most likely. Gallows empties a trash can as PCO hears it and runs over to pepper Gallows with multiple trash can shots, LG has Festus face as he crumples. Honestly PCO is taking soo damn long to expose the ring, its starting to make an already ridiculous match even more so. PCO does sent LG head first into the bass drum. PCO is looking to hit the  Deanimator on the exposed apron. LG gets up, goozles PCO and then Chokeslams him back into the ring and the ring caves in at the impact point of PCO.

10 Count starts, PCO comes back to life at 9, strike exchange. Reverse DDT from PCO on the partly expose mat. He loads up a glove with thumb tacks, hits an Avalanche First Drop with tacks. Gallows falls into the hole, PCO stands on him and the ref counts the pinfall.

This was ridiculous to the point of being a bit stupid…but it was entertaining and the crowd seemed to be into it.

Overall Score: 7.25/10

There was a decent amount of storyline movement, decent matches with an assortment of gimmicks and characters you don’t see weekly; as well as fan favorites. PCO is beloved by most of the hard core crowd, Motor City Machine Guns are always a high point and Myers getting his comeuppance got a decent pop. We also got to see a little chink in the armor of Masha Slamovich with Gisele putting up a little more of a fight, as well as Killer Kelly giving us a little more into her persona. Is she a little schizophrenic with the repeating her lines in Portuguese? How scary is she? Will she dethrone Masha as the monster of the Knockouts?

Also even if the set up seemed coordinated, the way Moose and Maclin interact; doesn’t really scream working together. They could have a common enemy and conveniently work out for the other. Either way, there’s enough threads to get us through to Emergence and maybe even sustain into Bound For Glory. Josh Alexander got a lot of weird things being said to, and said by him.