Entertainment

Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (9/19/22)

Fallout from the Dark Horse Stampede!

Published

2 years ago

September 19, 2022

Steven Mitchell

Welcome to the winner’s circle!

Ten ran the race but only five reached the goal! HPW Dark Horse Stampede has paved the way to Clash of Fates, hear from the future of wrestling!

Teba walks in.

“Oh, right, I forgot you guys do this kind of stuff.” Teba walks up to the cameraman. “Well, uh, I won fair and square, but Wyler was a sore loser. I put him in his place after, and now I’m moving on. That Hyrule Warriors match is a great opportunity, and also just a great concept to really test your resolve. I’m really looking forward to this, and I hope to see you all there.” Will the White Winged Warrior be THE Hyrule Warrior going into this year’s HyruleMania?

Ladrona walks in.

She waves hello and walks over. “Did you like what you saw? Yeah? Good stuff, huh? I think I got a bit lucky there at the end, but y’know, sometimes luck’s all you need. Heck, a lot of the Hyrule Warriors match is luck, y’know? You get sent out early, you really gotta fight through to make it to the end. But you get sent out late, you’re fresh and able to get at those who’ve been fighting for like half an hour or something. So wish me luck.” Ladrona winks and heads out. The Thief Girl’s charms have gotten her this far, will she make it to the end of the Hyrule Warriors match?

Ralph walks in.

The Lad from Labrynna is fired up after his win. “That’s how it’s done! I didn’t need to dance around and start some silly chant. I did what pro-wrestlers do, and that’s wrestle. And that is why Donny the entertainer lost! The Hyrule Warriors match is going to be full of fighters and wrestlers, and I’ll take them all on if I have to. I’m not just aiming for the top spot, I’m going to take the top spot, and I’m going to go to HyruleMania 3 and the Triforce Championship. Put money on it!” Ralph’s incredibly confident, but will he win it all betting on himself?

Donny B. Kool stops by?

This is quite the surprise, as none of the other losers wanted to stick around. “Hey guys, I know things didn’t go my way, but that’s the game we play. Ralph won fair and square, but your boy Donny’s not going anywhere. Who knows where, who knows when, but you will see me again. Alright, y’all, be cool to each other now.” Donny heads out, but what will the future hold for the Original Geru?

Odolwa walks in.

Odolwa beats his chest and growls as he flexes. “I am Odolwa, God of Woodfall… I demand tribute in the form of competition! And I shall find satisfaction in the Hyrule Warriors match! All 32 other fighters shall fall before me! And then, so will the Triforce Champion! WHOA-SHAA!” Odolwa leaves after shouting his war cry, will he sharpen his edge against the best HPW has to offer?

Byrne Lokomo and Chancellor Cole walk in.

The miniature manager leads the way, applauding and motioning towards his victorious client. “Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce myself. I am Chancellor Cole, and this is not just the Man with the Iron Claw, this is not just the man who won the main event of the first-ever Dark Horse Stampede. This is the man who will win the main event of Clash of Fates, then win the main event of HyruleMania, Byrne Lokomo. Armos Knight is big, Armos Knight is strong, and Armos Knight is tough. But if not even the big, strong and resilient Living Statue could stop Byrne, then nothing, and I mean nothing, will stop him from taking the HPW Triforce Championship.”

Byrne flexes his iron claw and says, “A train is hard to stop once it’s built momentum. I have momentum now, and I’m only going to pick up speed. Nothing will derail me from the track I’m on. So either get out of the way or get run through.” Byrne heads out and Cole follows, will this be a nonstop trip to the top of HPW?

My Thoughts:

It only felt fair to get some “fallout” promos from our Dark Horses, since we get these same kind of promos after big events with the big names. And I decided to include Donny because he’s just a really fun character. I really do want to find a spot for him in HPW, but we’ll just have to wait and see how things shake out in our homestretch (Clash of Fates, Fyter Feast and HyruleMania).

Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!

Related Topics:Entertainment Featured Featured Big HPW Hyrule Pro-Wrestling

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Entertainment

Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (5/1/24)

The Gerudo Sisterhood is (not) fine.

Published

2 days ago

May 1, 2024

Steven Mitchell

Mayday! Mayday!

The Triforce Anniversary did not go their way, and now The Gerudo Sisterhood sits down to talk it out. Will things (not) be okay again?

The Gerudo Sisterhood meet up.

In Gerudo Town, Riju sits in the throne room, Buliara by her side. Aveil, Nabooru and Urbosa arrive together. Riju asks where Tali and Shabonne are, and Aveil says she has no idea. Nabooru and Urbosa also don’t know, no one’s heard from either all month. Did she go back to sand seal racing? Nabooru checked around the track, checked the Great Dunes, no one there had seen her, either. Is Tali feeling that guilty about the spear? Everyone watched the tape back, it was by accident, she has nothing to feel bad about.

The group argues about that a bit. Tali went out there when she wasn’t supposed to. And even if it was an accident, she should still apologize, shouldn’t she? That’s a good point. Well, for now, they’ll just have to wait until Tali comes to them. For now, everyone needs to turn their attention to what’s coming: ThunderStruck.

The Gerudo Sisterhood double check the match card.

An Open Challenge for the Death Mountain Championship starts things off. Nabooru and Aveil tried to get that spot, but it seems someone already called their shot. Who do they think it was? Urbosa says, “Does it really matter? The Sisterhood will be right on the heels of the winner either way.” The others are all for that. Then The Dark Forces seem to be making moves. Cia has Ganon by her side, but who will Ruto have? Between Fin Balure and Bad Croc Scaly, she’s got strong choices, and Arrow Club could even parlay this tag match into a shot at the Termina Championship.

How’d Arrow Club figure out how to avoid Blood & Thunder this year? That’s anyone’s guess, but watching the UnderWorld Order battle it out with the rest of the Dark Forces will be just as much fun for the Sisterhood as it will be for the HPW Trios Champs. Kevin Gibdo, Volga, Zant and Wizzro aren’t exactly the friendliest bunch, but hopefully they give ReDead, Scaldera, Gomess & Death Sword the beating they deserve for all their underhanded moves. And it’d keep them from getting another chance at the HPW Trios titles at that.

The sore spot is the Triforce World Championship match. Yunobo has his shot at the title, and again Tali’s involvement in the Triple Threat cost the Sisterhood. But Link’s a three-time HPW Triforce Champion for a reason. For one, he won the Hyrule Warriors match, and he won the Eventide Challenge. Buliara points out that the other reason is that he lost the title along the way. If things come in threes, then will he lose a third time? Personally, Riju hopes not. She only survived that Beat the Clock Challenge against Link, and wants to settle things in a proper match. That’s also something the Sisterhood can get behind.

There’s thunder in the distance and they all look out the window to see a storm rolling across the desert. Thundra Plateau awaits, but who will rumble their way to victory?

My Thoughts:

Hooray for a hype article! Just imagine this as a really cool vignette video you’d see a major company put out. Also, I did need to keep the story of the Gerudo Sisterhood going, don’t want that slipping through the cracks. I’m feeling some intrigue as we move deeper into the Spring, this should be fun.

Let us know what you think on social media @ChairshotMedia and always remember to use the hashtag #UseYourHead!

Entertainment

Hockey Talk- Power Players [043024]

Hockey Talk reviews the action from the first round of the 2024 NHL Playoffs and looks forward to some intriguing matchups looming in the second round.

Published

3 days ago

April 30, 2024

David Ungar

On this week’s edition of Hockey Talk, the guys take a look at the first round of the 2024 NHL Playoffs. The best teams and highest seeds flexed their muscle during the opening round of the playoffs. Out East, it was Chalk City as the Rangers, Hurricanes, Bruins, and Panthers took firm control of their respective series. The West, on the other hand, was far less certain as most of those series were shaping up to be tough, hard-fought, battles to the very end. Which teams impressed the guys the most and which likely second round series are they most excited about? Tune in and find out!

Today’s hosts: Dave Ungar (@AttitudeAgg) and Patrick O’Dowd (@WrestlngRealist)

2024 NHL 1st Round Playoff Recap
The East goes according to form
The West is wild

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