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Mitchell’s WWE WrestleMania 39 Results & Report! (4/1/23)

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WrestleMania is ready for its close-up.

WWE is ready for the spotlight as WrestleMania Goes Hollywood! Austin Theory opens night one, but will he still be The Now after facing John Cena?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • WWE United States Championship: Austin Theory VS John Cena; Theory wins and retains the title.
  • Men’s WrestleMania Tag Team Showcase Fatal 4 Way: The Street Profits VS The Alpha Academy VS The Viking Raiders VS Braun Strowman & Ricochet; The Street Profits win.
  • Seth Rollins VS Logan Paul; Rollins wins.
  • Six Woman Tag: Becky Lynch, Lita & Trish Stratus VS Damage CTRL; Becky, Lita & Trish win.
  • Rey Mysterio VS Dominik Mysterio; Rey wins.
  • SmackDown Women’s Championship: Charlotte Flair VS Rhea Ripley; Rhea wins and becomes the new SmackDown Women’s Champion.
  • The Miz VS Pat McAfee; Pat wins.
  • Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championships: The Usos VS Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn; Kevin & Sami win and become the new Undisputed WWE Tag Team Champions.

PLAY BY PLAY

It’s the WrestleMania Kickoff Show, part 1!

Join Kayla Braxton, Wade Barrett, Booker T and Peter Rosenberg in discussing, analyzing and predicting all the action for this opening night of WrestleMania’s Hollywood weekend!

 

Backstage interview with Johnny Knoxville.

Cathy Kelly is with the Jackass lead man and brings up Sami & Kevin VS The Usos. What is Johnny feeling watching that match? Johnny still can’t stand Sami “snake in the grass, wolf in a creep’s clothing.” So the hatchet has not been buried? Nope, the hatchet has not been buried. Johnny wants to bury that hatchet into Sami’s back. Johnny thinks Kevin is gonna be dragged down by Sami. Well, maybe Kevin and Sami buried their hatchet, but Johnny says the Usos are gonna bang on Sami like the bottom of a Heinz 57 bottle. Well, thanks for joining the preshow, enjoy the night.

 

Here to sing America the Beautiful: Becky G!

 

Hollywood has its leading man.

There’s only one person on Earth distinguished enough to open tonight. The international intrigue, the biggest name with a smaller-than-average frame… Hey! The voiceover’s gonna do him like that? Good thing it’s just a voice or he’d get a boot and leg drop, brother. Ladies and gentlemen: Kevin Hart! As a storyteller, he’s here to tell a story. A Once Upon a Time in Hollywood type legend, full of legends. WrestleMania’s near four DECADE long legacy, the greatest show in live entertainment, now takes over Tinsel Town.

“Tonight, everybody’s going Hollywood. And I mean everybody!” Trailer after trailer, reference after reference, star power upon star power, action and adventure, romance, and always room for more. “Welcome, world, to WrestleMania Goes Hollywood.” What’s the pyro budget on this thing?

 

The Miz and Snoop Dogg are in the ring!

The Hollywood A-Lister, the host of WrestleMania, is here with the #DoggFather and WWE Hall of Famer, and Miz welcomes us to WrestleMania! “Tonight, my friend, Snoop, D O Double G, Snoop Dogg, the Dogg Father of WrestleMania and I are the perfect tag team to kick off WrestleMania Goes Hollywood, because believe it or not, we have a lot in common.” Snoop is a multi-time platinum recording artist, the King of Hip Hop, and Miz was in WrestleMania the Musical. Snoop has been in over 80 movies, and The Miz has been in the last four The Marine movies! Snoop is a WWE Golden Champion, and Miz is a TWO-TIME Grand Slam Champion!

So what Miz is saying is, he and Snoop are the same? Yep! Well, check it out, dawg, this isn’t about these two champions. It’s about the champions in the audience. Miz says Snoop is correct. Tonight, we will see some of the best of the best in a sold out SoFi Stadium! LA, Hollywood, worldwide, are you ready!? Tonight, you will see Charlotte Flair VS Rhea Ripley for the SmackDown Women’s Championship! The Usos VS Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn for the Undisputed Tag Team Championships! Miz told Snoop the pop would be good. And those are just a taste of how awesome tonight is gonna be.

But no more talk! Time to get to the action! Snoop says “Let’s fire it up!” And starting off this already massive weekend is…

 

WWE United States Championship: Austin Theory VS John Cena!

The Youngest WWE United States Champion in WWE history says he is The Now of WWE. But he is facing the SIXTEEN TIME World Champion! Cena already said that Theory was not ready for WrestleMania, but will he prove it? Or will Austin prove he isn’t just a theory?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see if The Now is still the future!

The bell rings and fans rally behind Cena. Theory and Cena circle, feel things out, and knuckle lock. Cena goes for a leg, Theory gets away, and Cena smirks. The two go again. tie up collar ‘n’ elbow, and Theory headlocks. Cena powers up and powers out to run Theory over! Theory gets up in a huff and Cena dusts himself off. The two go again, tie up, and Cena chinbars to wrangle Theory down. Theory gets up but Cena headlocks. Cena headlocks for a takeover, fans rally, and Theory fights up. Fans duel, “Let’s Go, Cena!” “Cena Sucks!” Theory pries the hold open, wrenches to headlock back, but Cena powers out, to run Theory over!

Theory scrambles to ropes and Cena smirks as he dusts himself off again. They tie up, Cena puts Theory in the corner, and Cena lets off as the ref counts. Theory huffs and puffs, he and Cena go again, and Cena powers Theory back. Theory turns things around, he has Cena in the corner, and he BITES Cena’s ear! Cena gets pissed but Theory runs away. Cena protests to the ref but Theory CLOBBERS him! Fans boo as Theory rains down fists, then Theory talks trash. Cena sits up, Theory brings him into a facelock and snap suplex. Cover, TWO! Theory smirks as he stands over Cena. “This is the past!”

Theory brings Cena up to snap suplex again. Cover, TWO! Theory grins, “You think he’s still got it? No!” Theory soaks up the heat from all the booing fans, then he brings Cena back up. But Cena blocks the suplex to suplex back! Fans fire up while both men are down! Cena and Theory stand, Cena ROCKS Theory but Theory ROCKS Cena! Cena fires off more hands, whips Theory to a corner, then runs in, into an elbow! Theory somersaults to BLOCKBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Theory grows frustrated but he gets his smirk back as he paces around. Theory goes out to the apron and climbs up the corner.

Theory soaks up the heat as he poses, and then he goes back to the apron. Slingshot, somersault, SHOTGUN! Cover, TWO! Cena is still in this and Theory grows further frustrated. Theory goes back out, climbs up the corner again just to taunt the fans, then he reloads. Slingshot, somersault, but Cena dodges! Cena drags Theory into the STF! Theory flails and fans fire up! Theory pries at the crossface, and BITES Cena’s hand! The ref counts, Cena lets go, and Theory CLOBBERS Cena! Fans boo more but Theory just mocks the “You Can’t See Me.” Theory taunts the fans, he mocks Cena, and he ROCKS Cena with haymakers.

Theory says Cena is wrong, and so are the people. Theory ELBOWS Cena down and then stands on him with cocky cover. TWO, but Theory grins. Theory brings Cena up to snapmare and stomp! Fans boo as Theory continues to mock Cena. “You’re gonna believe in me!” Theory brings Cena up to snapmare and stomp again! Theory dusts his boot off, taunts the fans with it, then mocks the shoulder shimmy. Theory snapmares, and stomps, but Cena blocks! Cena stands, fireman’s carries, but Theory flails! Theory gets free to DDT! Cover, TWO! Theory argues the count, saying it was more like five, but the count was fair.

Theory waits on Cena to stand in the corner. Theory runs in to clothesline! Cena falls, Theory flexes, but fans boo more. Theory does laps in the ring, “That’s All Day!” Theory runs in at Cena, but Cena dodges! Theory hits buckles, Cena ROCKS him with a haymaker! Theory hits back, they go haymaker for haymaker! Cena whips, Theory reverses and Theory puts on a SLEEPER! Cena flails, but he starts fading! Theory squeezes tight, but Cena gets a second wind! Theory jumps onto Cena to be a backpack! Cena drops to a knee, but fans rally and Cena gets a third wind! Cena rises and RAMS Theory into buckles!

Fans fire up as Cena gets free. Cena runs, and he throws those SHOULDER TACKLES! Theory swings, into the SPIN-OUT BOMB! Fans fire up, because “YOU CAN’T SEE ME~!” Cena runs to FIVE KNUCKLE SHUFFLE! Theory staggers around, into the fireman’s carry! But Theory grabs ropes! Cena yanks Theory away but they knock the ref over! Drop toehold, STF!! Theory is caught but the erf is down! Theory taps and Cena thinks he’s won, but he didn’t realize what happened to the ref! Theory LOW BLOWS!! Fireman’s carry, A-TOWN DOWN!! Cover, THEORY WINS!!

Winner: Austin Theory, by pinfall (still WWE United States Champion)

Fans boo but there’s nothing that can be done! Theory cheated the living legend to get the biggest win in his career! Is this proof Cena was right? Was Theory not ready? Or is this a sign of Theory’s veteran savvy?

 

Titus O’Neil is here!

The WWE Global Ambassador and Real Deal is on commentary because he knows a bit about tag teams!

 

Men’s WrestleMania Tag Team Showcase Fatal 4 Way: The Street Profits VS The Alpha Academy VS The Viking Raiders VS Braun Strowman & Ricochet!

Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins, Chad Gable & Otis, as well as Erik & Ivar, have all been teams for a considerable amount of time. However, the Monster of All Monsters and the King of Flight have been on a roll since forming their team. Will Braun & Ricochet prove that they are truly a winning combination? Or will another duo stand out under the bright lights?

In this type of Fatal 4 Way, only two teams are legal at one time. Gable starts against Ricochet, they circle but are wary of the other teams. Ricochet shoots in to roll Gable up, TWO! Gable swings, misses, Ricochet handsprings but into an ANKLE LOCK! Ricochet scrambles, reaches out, rolls and throws Gable away! Gable avoids the Profits, Ricochet headlocks for a takeover, Gable headscissors. Ricochet kips free, rolls reverse, Gable kips free and whips Ricochet, Ricochet stops from going tot he Viking corner. Ricochet tackles Gable, jackknifes, but Gable bridges up and spins to a backslide, ONE!

Ricochet stands but into a kicks! Gable points to Otis, “A Thank Yew!” Gable whips, Ricochet reverses, Gable goes up and over but Otis tags in. Gable sunset flips, Ricochet rolls through, Otis CLOBBERS Ricochet! Otis tags back to Gable, the Academy whip and CLOBBER Ricochet! “SHOOOSH~!” Fans boo, but Ricochet hurdles Gable! Hot tag to Braun! But Otis steps to him! But so do Dawkins and Ivar! The biggest men get in, but then so do their teammates! All eight men are in the ring, the ref wants order, but it’s just a brawl! Fans fire up as Ivar fires off on Dawkins, Erik has Gable, Braun has Otis and Ricochet has Ford!

Braun ROCKS Otis, but Erik KNEES Braun, then Ivar HEEL KICKS! Braun falls out, Erik CLOBBERS Dawkins! Ivar KNEES Gable, then feeds Gable to Erik’s KNEE! Ricochet runs in, into a pop-up, and LARAIT GERMAN SUPLEX COMBO! Ford returns but the Vikings mug him, then lift him up! RAGNAROK!! The Viking Raiders stand with “Valhalla” Sarah Logan, but Braun creeps up behind them! Fans fire up and the Vikings turn around, into a DOUBLE SHOULDER TACKLE! Fans fire up with the Monster, but Gable waistlcosk him!? Braun elbows free, scoops Gable, but Gable scoops free and goes to the corner! CHAOS THEORY!!! Bridging cover, TWO!!

Fans are thunderous while Gable is shocked! Gable is shocked he didn’t win, but we’re all shocked he pulled that off! Gable goes to the corner, climbs up, “A THANK YEW~!” But Dawkins tags in. Gable DIVING HEADBUTTS but flops! Dawkins goes up, but Ivar tags in! Dawkins SWANTONS, but FLOPS! Ivar goes up, and Valhalla says put a twist on it. Ivar turns around to WARBEARD MOONOSAULT! But he FLOPS, too! Braun goes up top!? MONSTER SPLASH!! Cover, EVERYONE breaks it! Hollywood is going wild for that one! Otis roars and he brings Braun up to scoop, WORLD’S STRONGEST SLAM!!

Otis tears off the shirt and gets the truffle shuffling. Otis goes to a corner, goes up top, but Ford GAMANGIRIS him first! Otis falls, Ricochet tags off Braun! But Ford GAMANGIRS Ricochet, too! Gable trips Ford, he and Erik go up after him. Otis and Ivar join in, and then Ricochet joins in! We get a TOWER OF DOOM!! The Double Electric Chair Superplex Crossbody makes everyone lose their minds! Fans are thunderous as Dawkins tags back in. Braun DECKS Dawkins first, then looks outside. Braun gets on the tracks! The Strowman Express TRUCKS Gable, TRUCKS Erik, Dawkins hides so Braun TRUCKS Otis!

Round two! Ivar, Gable, Dawkins POUNCES Braun!!! Dawkins is fired up as he derails the Strowman Express! Dawkins and Erik brawl, Ricochet SPRINGBOARD SHOOTING STARS them down!! LA is electric as Ricochet puts Dawkins in! GAMANGIRI, and then Ricochet goes up top! For the SHOOTING STAR, onto knees! Dawkins keeps Ricochet in place, as Ford comes in FROM THE HEAVENS!!! Cover, PROFITS WIN!!

Winner: The Street Profits, by pinfall

Dawkins & Ford celebrate, they just took down the dynamic duo of Braun & Ricochet! With this big win, will the Profits be waiting on the other side of Usos VS KO & Sami for another shot at the tag titles?

 

Xavier Woods is backstage.

Woods welcomes us to the set of UpUpDownDown, and he’s got Liv Morgan, Tyler Breeze, Pete Dunne & Ridge Holland here ahead of Seth Rollins VS Logan Paul. They used WWE 2K23 to sim the match to see who has the best chance of winning tonight. They like the entrances, the very accurate recreations of the gear, and the expansive moveset each man has. According to the sim, Rollins wins 58% of the time. But will that be how it plays out in real time? Liv thinks so but the proof will be when that bell rings.

 

Seth Rollins VS Logan Paul!

The Visionary, the revolutionary, the Architect does NOT like the ImPAULsive Influencer. Logan just wants fame and fortune, but Rollins feels Logan can do that by staying in his lane. Will Rollins force Logan to do that by running him off the road? Or will #OneLuckyPunch be all it takes for Logan to go from influencer to legit?

“City of Angels, I’m back. Did you miss me?” Logan is lifted into the air and recreates HBK’s iconic zipline entrance, because it’s Logan’s birthday! And then he has a Prime energy drink mascot dancing around to walk with him to the ring. Meanwhile, Hollywood musical conductor, Jasper Randall, helps lead the fans in singing, “OH~ OHH~ OHHH~!” before the “BURN IT DOWN!” Rollins then struts down the ramp in a massive red jacket and shining red pants. Rollins takes a moment to revel in the Los Angeles choir singing, and then the bell rings. Rollins and Logan stare down, and the two circle.

The two tie up, Rollins headlocks and laughs, then shifts around to hammerlock and shove Logan away. Fans cheer and Rollins revels in it again. Logan shrugs it off, and the two go again. They tie up again, Rollins headlocks again, but Logan wrenches free to a top wristlock. Logan headlocks, Rollins works on the escape, and he powers out. Things speed up, Rollins hurdles but then redirects to run Logan over! Fans fire up but Logan is right back up. Rollins dodges to mule kick, run, but Logan avoids the stomp! Logan kips up and the two stare down again. They tie up, Rollins headlocks, but Logan powers out.

Things speed up again, Logan hurdles and drops, then hurdles again, to TOSS Rollins up and out! Flashback to the Royal Rumble! Fans boo but Rollins keeps cool, even as Logan mocks the singing. Rollins returns to TACKLE Logan! Rollins throws hands, Logan shoves him away, they end up in a corner. Rollins goes after Logan but he gets out, only for Rollins to drag him up by his hair! Logan HOTSHOTS! ROUNDHOUSES! Slingshot, BUCKSHOT! Logan grins and taunts Rollins. Rollins rises, Logan prepares that metal fist, mocking Roman Reigns’ lock ‘n’ load. BODY SHOT! Rollins falls, but Logan fires off more shots!

The ref has Logan back off with Rollins on the ropes. Logan comes back, whips, and kitchen sink knees! Fans boo but Rollins writhes. Logan paces, gets the legs, and he stomps Rollins in the stomach! Logan digs his heel in, lets off, then waits on Rollins. Rollins stands, Logan fireman’s carries, but Rollins fights free! Rollins shoves Logan toa  corner, runs in, but Logan dodges! The splash hits buckles, and Logan springboards, CROSSBODY! STANDING MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Another cover, TWO! Logan is annoyed and covers again, TWO! Rollins is frustrated now, mostly in himself.

Fans sing for Rollins again but Logan kicks low. Logan whips, Rollins reverses and ROCKS Logan with a forearm! And again! But Logan turns things around to a RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP, into a GROUND OCTOPUS! Rollins endures, fans rally, and Logan pushes up to put on the pressure! Rollins powers up, gets one leg off of him, and he CHOPS Logan down! Logan elbows back! Rollins CHOPS, Logan ELBOWS! Fans keep signing, the brawl on the mat continues, and Rollins gets the edge with the CHOPS! And a fishhook of Logan’s nose! Rollins swings, into a GUT WRENCH SLAM! Cover, TWO!

Logan rains down fists on Rollins but fans boo. The ref reprimands, those are closed fists, so Logan lets off. Logan watches Rollins stir, and he goes to the corner. Logan box jumps up, MOONSAULTS but FLOPS! Rollins avoids a bit of disaster, and Logan crawls to ropes. Rollins runs in and forearms! And he fires off furious fists! The ref backs Rollins off, but fans fire up with Rollins. Logan swings! Rollins dodges, and he rallies with clotheslines! Rollins doesn’t let Logan rest! “You wanna play with the big boys? C’mon, bitch!!” Rollins TOSSES Logan out, revenge for the Rumble, but that’s just the start.

Fans sing, Rollins builds speed, and he DIVES! Direct hit on Logan into barriers! Rollins reloads, to DIVE again! And then Rollins DIVES again! The hattrick is complete and fans are thunderous! Rollins is all fired up and he glares down at Logan. Logan crawls toward Mr. Prime, but Rollins runs in to STOMP the hand!! Logan clutches his punching hand, and Rollins grins. Rollins and Logan both get in the ring, and Rollins kicks low. Rollins reels Logan in, underhooks the arms, but Logan lifts Rollins up! Rollins sunset flips, TWO! Logan stacks Rollins, TWO! Rollins sunset flips! TWO, cradle! TWO, ghost pin, TWO!

ONE LUCKY PUNCH!!! But Logan clutches the hand! Rollins is still down, Logan crawls to the cover, TWO!?!? Rollins survives and Hollywood is loving it! Logan goes to a corner, the fans are singing, but Logan runs in! CURB- NO! SIT-OUT POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO!! Logan escapes in time, and both men go to the corners. “This is Awesome!” as Rollins aims again. But Mr. Prime drags Logan to safety? Because it’s KSI!! Logan’s business partner and best friend! But Rollins WRECKS Logan with a dropkick! Rollins gets in KSI’s face, but Logan POSTS him! Logan and KSI celebrate, then clear off the Spanish announce desk!

Logan drags Rollins over, puts him on the table, and KSI has a phone out. Logan wants to revisit Crown Jewel, but Rollins puts KSI on the desk!! VLOG SPLASH through KSI!! Rollins puts Logan in, brings him in, underhooks and PEDIGREE!!! Cover, TWO!??!? Logan survives and no one can believe it! It is a standing ovation in every section of SoFi! Rollins goes to the corner, he watches Logan rise, and the singing returns. Rollins runs in, ROLLING ELBOW! But Rollins keeps Logan up to turn him, DREAM SMASHER ELBOW! Logan is down and Rollins resets in the corner. Rollins aims, runs in, but Logan fireman’s carries!

Logan hits a GO TO SLEEP!! A shout out to another guy Rollins isn’t really into these days, and Logan hurries up top! FROG SPLASH!! Cover, TWO!!! Rollins survives and Hollywood is shocked again! Logan stomps Rollins to a corner, stomps him a little more, then goes to the adjacent corner. Logan climbs up, to go COAST2COAST into a SUPERKICK!! Fans are thunderous again as Logan flounders! Rollins is electric as he runs in, CURB STOMP!!! Cover, ROLLINS WINS!

Winner: Seth Rollins, by pinfall

Happy birthday, Logan! Here’s your song: “OH~ OHH~ OHHHH~!” Blow out the candles and make a wish, but just remember who won at WrestleMania! Will this victory bring the Visionary back to the top of the mountain?

 

Six Woman Tag: Becky Lynch, Lita & Trish Stratus VS Damage CTRL!

The Man has been dealing with the Role Model, #CobraKai and the Evil Genius since SummerSlam back in August, beat them at WarGames, but nothing has stopped them from messing with her. So now, as a WWE Women’s Tag Team Champion with one “extreme daredevil,” and bringing in “the blonde bombshell” to even the odds, will this story finally have its Big Time finale? Or will Bayley, Dakota Kai & Iyo Sky be the ones with the last say?

The trios stare down, and then they start brawling! Fans fire up, Lita kicks Sky out, Trish does the same ot Dakota and Becky does the same to Bayley. Then Becky runs to WRECK Kai with a dropkick! Becky puts Kai back in, the bell rings, and Becky dodges a boot to clinch. Kai fights the Manhandle Slam! Sky slides in but slips away as Becky rushes over. Kai SCORPION KICKS then fires off on Becky in the corner. Tag to Bayley, Bayley fires off, then tag to Sky. Sky digs her boots in, swings and DOUBLE KNEES! Bayley talks trash, Sky covers, TWO! Sky drags Becky up and around, whips her, but Becky reverses to put Sky int he ropes.

Becky CLUBS, UPPERCUTS, but Sky blocks the sobat to trip her! SPRINGBOARD MISSILE DROPKICK! Cover, TWO! Fans rally while Sky drags Becky back up. Tag to Bayley, then tag to Kai. DMG CTRL brings Becky around, DOUBLE BACK SUPLEX NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Kai grows frustrated but she smiles as she stands over Becky. Kai mocks Becky to reach for her team, then hip drops her down. Kai drags Becky up, bumps her off buckles, then kicks the legs out. Kai goes side to side to BOOT WASH! Cover, TWO! Kai drags Becky over, tags Bayley, and Bayley hip drops Becky now.

Bayley taunts Lita, brings Becky up, but Becky JAWBREAKERS! Kai tags in before Becky TOSSES Bayley. Kai runs in but Becky DROPKICKS her first! Both women are down, they crawl for their corners, and Kai grabs Becky’s foot. Bayley trips Trish! No tag, Kai bumps Becky off buckles! Tag to Sky, she and Kai double whip. Kai & Sky set up but Becky KICKS Kai and CLOBBERS Sky! All three women are down, Becky crawls again, but Kai keeps her from Lita! Kai whips Becky to a corner, runs in, but Becky puts her on the apron! Kai stumbles, Becky crawls, but Kai just runs at Lita! Lita DECKS Kai, then tags in!

Lita rallies on Sky, BLASTS Bayley, goes after Sky more, then whips, Sky reverses, Lita tilt-o-whirls and ranas Sky away! Lita whips, Sky goes up and over, but Lita goes upside-down to DEADLY NIGHTSHADE! Fans fire up, Lita runs in to KNEE Sky in the back! Lita waistlocks, Sky switches, but Lita elbows and CRAVAT DRIVERS! Cover off “Vertigo,” TWO! Fans rally as Lita brings Sky back up. Lita whips, Sky reverses, but Lita elbows her away. Then headscissor SLAM! Lita goes back up but Bayley distracts! Lita DECKS Bayley, BOOTS Sky, but Kai ENZIGURIS! Lita falls, Sky covers, TWO!!

Sky drags Lita over, tags Kai, and Kai tags Bayley. DMG CTRL surround Lita, count it out, TRIPLE SUPERKICK! Cover, TWO!! Lita survives and Bayley is furious! Bayley mocks Trish now, bumps Lita off buckles, and DMG CTRL gets away with mugging Lita. Bayley stands on Lita, DMG CTRL poses together, and fans boo. The ref counts, Bayley steps off, and then Bayley tags Sky. Sky has Lita against ropes and bends her back! Sky talks trash in Japanese, Bayley talks trash in English, but the ref reprimands them all. Tag to Kai, she CHOKES Lita on the ropes! Kai lets off as the ref counts, then covers, TWO!

Lita is hanging tough but DMG CTRL keeps focus. Kai drags Lita up, bumps her off buckles, and tags Bayley. Bayley tags Sky, they bring Lita around to double lift, but Lita slips through! DOUBLE DDT! Fans fire up as all three women are down! Kai panics, but Lita crawls her way over, hot tag to Trish and Kai! Trish dodges Kai, BOOTS Bayley, fires off on Kai, but Sky runs in, Trish SMACKS Sky, whips Kai and hits a THESZ PRESS! Fast hands! Kai pushes Trish away but Trish bumps her off buckles. Trish CHOPS, CHOPS, and puts some stank on it before she CHOPS again! Trish headlocks, gets Bayley involved, DOUBLE TAKEOVER!

Fans fire up as Trish dodges Kai to hit a NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Fans fire up as Trish whips Kai to a corner. Trish runs corner to corner, but into an elbow! Kai goes up, but Trish headscissors! Kai pushes Trish away, no Stratusphere here! Kai adjusts, but Trish ROCKS her! Bayley & Sky drag Trish down, Trish fights them off! FLYING FOREARMS from Becky and Lita! They give Trish the boost, to SUPER STRATUSPHERE onto DMG CTRL! Fans are thunderous as the heroes put Kai back in! Trish baits Kai in, into a SPINEBUSTER! High stack, TWO!! Kai survives but Trish drags Kai around.

Trish bumps Kai off buckles, tags in Lita, and the old rivals whip Kai to the corner. They set up, POETRY IN MOTION! Tag to Becky, the legends double snapmare Kai so Becky can drop THE MAN’S LEG! Cover, TWO!! But into the DISARM-HER!! Lita & Trish intercept DMG CTRL but Bayley gets free! KNEE for Becky! DROPKICK for Trish! Bayley drags Kai to the corner, tags herself in, and she says, “This is who you love, huh?! The Man?” Bayley drags Becky up but Becky SLAPS her! Becky eggs Bayley on, Bayley DECKS Becky! BLINDSIDE LARIAT! ROSE- NO, Becky body shots to a SAIDO!

Becky clinches, MAN- NO, Bayley slips out, shoves Becky at the ref! The ref dodges, Sky SHOTEIS! ROSEPLANT!! Cover, Lita breaks it! Fans fire up as Lita says no no no. Lita TOSSES Sky, Kai BOOTS Lita down! Trish gives Kai some STRATUSFACTION! But Bayley hits a BAYLEY2BELLY! But Becky rolls Bayley, TWO!! Becky SPEARS Bayley to the floor! Sky goes up the corner! For the OVER THE MOONSAULT onto everyone!! Fans fire up with all six women down on the outside! The ring count is climbing , though! We’re at 8 of 10! All six women spring in at 9.5!! The teams regroup and Becky stares Bayley down.

Bayley talks trash on Becky, but she tags Sky. Lita tags in, then she tags Trish. Sky tags Kai, and now all six women brawl again! Sky puts Trish in a corner, Kai avoids Twist of Fate! Lita gets Sky to TWIST OF FATE her! Kai runs in, to get a CHICK KICK! Lita goes up, she gets the LITASAULT on both Kai & Sky!! Bayley FLAPJACKS Becky, hoists her up top, then climbs up after her! But Becky turns things around into a SUPER MANHANDLE SLAM!! Cover, Becky’s team wins!!

Winners: Becky Lynch, Lita & Trish Stratus, by pinfall

The Man and the legends conquer DMG CTRL! Will this mean Becky & Lita can finally move on from Bayley and her buddies? Or will there still be a sequel coming?

 

Bad Bunny is here!

The hit rap artist and host of Backlash in Puerto Rico this year is here to watch this lucha libre family affair.

 

Rey Mysterio VS Dominik Mysterio!

Just a year ago, this father and son were tag team champions together. But something, or rather someone, dark corrupted Dominik and turned him against his lucha libre legend father. Rey tried so hard not to lose his temper, but Dom would not stop pushing him. Now, this blood bond becomes a blood feud. Will Rey quite literally smack some sense into his son? Or will Dom end his father’s Hall of Fame career with his own two hands?

“Ex-Con Dom” has a video package dramatizing his time in prison, and making it as if he’s being transported directly from there to the arena. In fact, a police escort brings the correctional facility van to ringside. And many more officers exit the van before Dom hops out, wearing a version of his father’s purple Phantom mask! Fans boo the disrespect as Dom is being brought to ringside in cuffs. And mother and sister ringside are even more disappointed. As for Rey, he comes out with Snoop in a low rider! “Da game is to be sold, not to be told.” And then it’s EDDIE GUERRERO’S THEME!! Fans fire up for that Latino Heat!

Rey high-fives Snoop, hops out, and now Rey’s theme of Booyaka 619 plays. Rey is cosplaying The Flash, will he look to finish this match as quickly as possible? Rey and Dom stand face to face, the ref has the bell ring, and fans fire up. Dom shoves Rey, but Rey nods. They circle, Dom flexes, but Rey just sighs. The two tie up, Dom uses his height to push Rey back but Rey puts Dom on ropes. Dom turns that around, Rey powers Dom away, and Dom arm-drags Rey away. Fans boo as Dom soaks up the heat. Dom and Rey reset, Dom soaks up the heat some more, and the two tie up again. Dom waistlocks, SLAMS Rey down, then keeps on him.

Rey moves around, Dom holds on tight, and the two stand. Rey throws elbows, then runs to throw Dom out of the ring! Fans fire up, Rey eggs Dom on, and Dom gets frustrated. Dom slides in, storms up on Rey and shoves him. Rey shoves back! Dom headlocks, Rey powers out, but Dom runs him over! Dom SPLASHES, runs, but Rey drops. Dom kicks low, whips, but Rey reverses and follows to RANA! Dom flounders to a corner and wants a timeout, Rey flexes now. Fans fire up and Rey revels in the cheers. Dom gets flustered but he gets back up. Dom and Rey circle, fans rally behind Rey, and that annoys Dom.

Dom and Rey feel it out, but Dom SLAPS him! Dom whips, Rey reverses then runs in, tilt-o-whirl rana POSTS Dom! Rey takes off his belt! Rey SPANKS Dom with the belt! Dom flops out of the ring and fans fire up! Dom is upset, and he asks mom, “You gonna let him do that to me?” Mom says “YES!” Dom takes his sister’s drink and SPLASHES her with it! Rey keeps Aalyah from getting in, and Dom CLOBBERS Rey! Dom CATAPULTS Rey into the POST! Aalyah is upset but she has to stay on that side of the barriers. Dom goes after Rey, puts him in the ring, and does the Latino Heat. Fans boo, so Dom just soaks it up.

Dom slingshots to SENTON! Cover, TWO! Dom puts Rey on the ropes and CHOKES him! The ref counts, Dom lets off, and Rey goes to a corner. Dom RAMS into Rey, then whips him corner to corner hard! Rey bounces off buckles, and Dom climbs up to soak up all the heat. Dom then kicks Rey around, brings him up, and hooks him up in the Cobra Twist. Dom mocks Rey to give up, but Rey endures. Fans rally up, Dom digs his elbows in, but Rey fights. Rey hip tosses free! Rey runs, Dom drops, Rey slides under, and then Rey arm-drags Dom! Dom wrenches to kick low and ROCK Rey! Dom goes up and up to FLYING ARM-DRAG!

And Dom holds onto the knuckle lock to reel Rey back in! MICHINOKU DRIVER! Cover, TWO! Rey survives but Dom talks more trash. Dom kicks Rey around, brings him up and runs with him, to BULLDOG HOTSHOT! Rey falls, Dom smirks at his mom and sister, and then goes back to Rey. Dom YANKS Rey out to the floor! Dom talks some trash on mom and sister, saying they won’t do anything. Mom SLAPS Dom!! Rey POSTS Dom! Rey kisses Angie and fans cheer more! Rey puts Dom in the ring, then climbs up the corner. Dom stands, into the SEATED SENTON! Rey keeps moving, springboard CROSSBODY! Cover, TWO!

Rey drags Dom up, whips him to the ropes, but Dom KICKS back! Dom whips Rey to the corner, but Rey goes up an dover to sunset BOMB! Cover, TWO!! Dom survives but Rey gives us some Latino Heat and fans fire up. Rey paces around Dom as fans chant for “EDDIE! EDDIE!” Rey eggs Dom on, Dom wants mercy, but Rey kicks low. Dom RAMS Rey into the ring! Wait! Damian Priest and Finn Balor are here! Dom runs in but Rey BOOTS him! Rey whips Dom, Dom reverses, but Rey reverses back. Dom reverses again, Rey goes up and over then runs in, but Dom ALLEY OOP BOMBS Rey into buckles!!

Judgment Day is all fired up for that! Dom drags Rey to a cover, TWO!! Rey survives but Dom gives more Latino Heat. Dom brings Rey up, to snap suplex! Uno Amigo! Fans boo as Dom continues, Dos Ami- NO, Rey slips free! Rey CLUBS Dom, goes up and over and RANAS Dom onto ropes! Rey dials it up, 619!! Fans are thunderous as Rey goes up the corner! But Finn distracts the ref! Priest grabs at Rey, but Rey kicks him away. Dom DECKS Rey! Priest takes off his jacket while he coaches Dom up. Dom and Rey rise, Dom drags Rey up, and Dom whips Rey hard into a corner. Dom then Electric Chair Lifts, but Rey throws hands!

Rey RANAS Dom and himself out of the ring! They’re at Finn’s feet, but Priest joins him. Fans boo, but here comes LWO!! Cruz, Wilde and Escobar beat up on Judgment Day! Fans fire up, Priest fights off Cruz and Wilde, LARIAT for Wilde and BOOT for Cruz! But Escobar DIVES! Priest hits the desk! Rey and Dom get in the ring, Dom LARIATS Rey! Dom gets the legs, CATAPULT! Rey is on the ropes, Dom dials it up! Fans boo for Dom’s 619!! Dom goes to the corner, climbs up top, and hits the FROG SPLASH!! Cover, TWO!?!? Rey survives and Dom can’t believe it! The fans are thunderous, though, as Rey survives!

Dom blows snot at the fans, then unties a crossbar! The ref reprimands as Dom completely bares the buckle. The ref has Dom back off, then tries to fix the situation. But Dom goes to Priest’s jacket, and he brings out a CHAIN! The ace in the hole! Dom aims, but Bad Bunny snatches the chain! Rey DROPKICKS Dom onto ropes! Redial, 619!! Rey goes up top, for the FROG SPLASH!! Cover, Rey wins!!

Winner: Rey Mysterio, by pinfall

Bad Bunny helps out as justice is served! Rey celebrates with his wife and daughter while Finn & Priest get Dom outta there. Will there ever come a time when Dom returns to his senses? Or is this only going to push him further into the darkness?

 

SmackDown Women’s Championship: Charlotte Flair VS Rhea Ripley!

As the Queen said herself, the more things change, the more they stay the same. Three years ago, Charlotte won the Royal Rumble to challenge a champion, in one NXT Women’s Champion, Rhea Ripley. But now, Rhea won the Rumble and is going after champion Charlotte. Will Rhea eradicate Charlotte’s reign this time? Or will the Queen still have her crown?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we see who reigns over SmackDown!

The bell rings and fans fire up already. Rhea and Charlotte stare down, Rhea smirks, and the two circle. Charlotte tests the ropes and grins back as fans “WOO~!” Rhea and Charlotte approach, tie up, and go around. Charlotte goes for an arm, wristlocks, and slaps Rhea around! Charlotte headlocks but Rhea powers out. They RAM shoulders, Rhea rebounds and she runs Charlotte over! Rhea says ‘SUCK IT!” then things speed up. Charlotte blocks hip toss to get a leg up and flip around. Rhea swings but misses, and now Charlotte runs Rhea over! Charlotte clotheslines Rhea up and out! Fans “WOO~!” while Rhea scowls.

Charlotte eggs Rhea on, Rhea slides back in, and the two reset. Rhea shoves Charlotte, “You think you’re the queen, huh?” Charlotte says she is. They shove each other, then Charlotte CHOPS! Rhea RAMS Charlotte to a corner, RAMS into her more, but lets off as the ref counts. Rhea tells the ref to shut up, but Charlotte ROCKS Rhea! And ROCKS her again! Charlotte whips, Rhea reverses, but Charlotte goes up and out. Charlotte BOOTS Rhea, hurries up a corner, and CROSSBODIES! Charlotte bounces off the cover, brings Rhea up, but Rhea elbows her! And again! Charlotte GAMANGIRIS in return!

Charlotte puts Rhea’s leg on the ropes, but Rhea stops the knee drop! Electric Chair SNAKE EYES! Fans rally, Rhea stomps and kicks Charlotte around, then smacks her off the mat. Rhea hip drops Charlotte down, then she soaks up the cheers and jeers. But Charlotte ROCKS Rhea! And again! Rhea kicks low, bumps Charlotte hard off buckles, and Charlotte falls tot he mat. Rhea drags Charlotte to a cover, TWO! Rhea kicks Charlotte, CLUBS her, then CLUBS her again. Rhea wraps on a body scissor and she puts on the squeeze. Charlotte endures, Rhea pulls hair but the ref reprimands. Rhea lets go of hair to focus on the squeeze.

Rhea CLUBS away on Charlotte’s back, makes it a full rear mount, and she taunts Charlotte while digging her face into the mat. Rhea keeps on the squeeze, pulls hair, but then Charlotte pulls hair! Charlotte rains forearms down, Rhea kicks her away, and Rhea gets up, only for Charlotte to roll her up! TWO, Charlotte swings into a spin. Rhea ROCKS Charlotte with a forearm to the back! Then another one! Rhea seethes, she ROCKS Charlotte again! Charlotte drops to her knees while Rhea seethes and fans fire back up. Rhea brings Charlotte up, whips her again, but Charlotte elbows Rhea away!

Charlotte BOOTS, but Rhea ducks the chop! GERMAN SUPLEX! Cover, TWO! Rhea grows annoyed with Charlotte but she looms over her. Rhea taunts Charlotte, brings Charlotte up and short arm LARIATS! Rhea stands Charlotte up again, for another short arm LARIAT! Rhea grins and fans rally up as Rhea drags Charlotte back up. But Charlotte swings, only for Rhea to ripcord. But Charlotte ROCKS and ELBOWS Rhea! Rhea runs in, into a BACKBREAKER and BUCKLE SHOT! Rhea flounders away but Charlotte takes aim! Charlotte rallies with lariats on Rhea! Fans fire up, Charlotte brings Rhea up and CHOPS!

Charlotte CHOPS more, and fans “WOO~!” CHOP after CHOP against the ropes, Rhea end s up in a corner but Charlotte just CHOPS more! The ref counts, Charlotte stops, but then CHOPS one more time to top it off. Charlotte then puts Rhea’s leg on the ropes, to KNEE DROP the knee! Rhea screams and scrambles away while clutching that knee! Charlotte revels in the cheers and jeers, runs in but Rhea puts her on the apron. Charlotte ROCKS Rhea first, then bumps her off buckles! Rhea staggers away, Charlotte fires herself up and climbs the corner. Charlotte CROSSBODIES again! But Rhea rolls through!

Rhea picks Charlotte up, but Charlotte throws elbows! Charlotte gets free, but Rhea pump handles! RIP- DDT!! Cover, TWO!!! Rhea survives the sudden counter and Charlotte is shocked! Charlotte refocuses, goes for legs, but Rhea kicks her away! And again! Then Rhea cradles, TWO!! Charlotte escapes, but DOUBLE BOOTS take both women down! Fans are thunderous as Rhea and Charlotte both sit up in a daze. Rhea slaps some sense into herself, and she crawls her way over to Charlotte. Rhea throws a forearm, but Charlotte gives it back. They stand, Rhea CLUBS Charlotte, but Charlotte ROCKS her back!

Charlotte counter punches again and again but Rhea kicks low! Rhea stomps a foot, smashes Charlotte off her knee, but swings into a scoop! EXPLODER! Both women are down again, but Charlotte kips up! Fans fire up, Charlotte feeds off the energy, and she sees Rhea in the drop zone. Charlotte steps on Rhea on her way to the corner, then climbs up top. But Rhea springs up behind her! Charlotte fights Rhea off, but Rhea returns! SUPER GERMAN SUPLEX!! Cover, TWO!!! Charlotte survives and Rhea is beside herself! Rhea snarls, drags Charlotte back up, and she back suplexes, only for Charlotte to land on her feet!

CHOP BLOCK! NATURAL SELECTION! Cover, TWO!!! Charlotte is stunned, but Rhea bails out. Rhea crawls, Charlotte makes her way over to ropes, but the ring count is climbing. Charlotte goes out after Rhea, runs in, but Rhea sends her into steel steps! Charlotte clutches her shoulder, but Rhea puts her back in. Rhea hurries to drag Charlotte up! Atomic FACEBUSTER! Cover, TWO! Rhea is again stunned, and she snarls as she stalks Charlotte. Rhea drags Charlotte up, pump handles, RIP- NO, Charlotte slips free to GERMAN SUPLEX! Rhea flounders away to a corner, but Charlotte waistlocks again!

Rhea holds the buckle pad, Charlotte gets her to let go, and she GERMAN SUPLEXES again! Charlotte still holds on, she brings Rhea back up but Rhea elbows her! And elbows again! Rhea is free, she switches and GERMAN SUPLEX Charlotte completely upside-down! Rhea drags Charlotte up again, “This is Awesome!” as Rhea ROCKS Charlotte and waistlocks again. Charlotte fights the waistlock, throws elbows, and Rhea lets go. Charlotte BOOTS Rhea down! Cover, TWO!! Rhea survives and Charlotte checks her jaw. The fans rally up as Charlotte gets Rhea’s legs. Charlotte steps through, but Rhea kicks at Charlotte!

Rhea throws forearms, Charlotte lets go and stumbles away. Charlotte’s got some blood in her mouth but she just ignores that. Rhea is on the apron, Charlotte runs over to BOOT Rhea down! Charlotte then goes to the apron, but has a devious idea on her mind. Charlotte climbs the corner! Fans fire up as Charlotte ARIHARA MOONSAULTS! Direct hit at the ramp and Charlotte is all fired up! Charlotte puts Rhea back in, hurries after Rhea and tackles her! But Rhea kicks Charlotte away! Charlotte run sin, but is almost sent into the ref! Rhea HEADBUTTS Charlotte! Pump handle, RIPTIDE!!! Cover, TWO?!!??!

Fans cannot believe that Charlotte survives, and neither can Rhea! Rhea pleads with the ref, but no, that was still just two! Rhea snarls, she drags Charlotte back up, and uses a chinlock to stretch her out! Rhea throws Charlotte back down, then drags her back up, but Charlotte cradles! TWO!!! Rhea escapes in time, and grabs the legs! PRISM TRAP!!! Charlotte endures the inverted Cloverleaf and fans are thunderous! Rhea thrashes Charlotte around as she hangs off the mat! Charlotte claws her way forward, reaches out, and manages the ROPEBREAK! Rhea won’t let go, but then Charlotte rolls to send Rhea into the ref!

Rhea apologizes to the ref, and turns around into a SPEAR!! Cover, TWO!!! Now Rhea shocks Charlotte! Charlotte is flabbergasted and upset, but she says, “You want my place? You want me?!” Rhea and Charlotte start throwing forearms! They go back and forth, faster and rougher, again and again! Fans are loving this as Rhea ROUNDHOUSES! But Charlotte BOOTS! And she gets the legs! But Rhea scrambles to the ROPEBREAK!! Charlotte is frustrated but lets go at 4. Rhea drags herself to the apron while Charlotte sits and seethes. “This is Awesome!” as Charlotte mutters to herself about Rhea’s defiance.

Charlotte drags Rhea up, POSTS her, then climbs up the corner. Charlotte drags Rhea up to join her, but Rhea fights with elbows! Rhea is free, but Charlotte CHOPS! Rhea wobbles, but she SMACKS Charlotte off the top of the post! Charlotte is slumped up there, an d Rhea grins an evil grin! Rhea says this is HERS now! Rhea climbs up, pump handles Charlotte, SUPER RIPTIDE!!! Cover, RHEA WINS!!!

Winner: Rhea Ripley, by pinfall (NEW SmackDown Women’s Champion)

The brutality makes the dream a reality! Rhea almost can’t believe it, but she really has dethroned The Queen! And yet, Charlotte smiles? Is she oddly proud of the woman who took her title? Will Rhea make sure every Friday is now Judgment Day?

 

Backstage interview with Austin Theory.

Byron Saxton is with The Now, and says some “nefarious” tactics gave Theory a win over the GOAT, John Cena. Where is Theory’s head at right now? “I said it, I did it, and I made John Cena believe. Do you believe in Theory now?” Theory laughs and leaves, but will anyone accept this reality?

 

The Miz and Snoop Dogg are back in the ring!

Miz says what an incredible first night it has been! Ladies and gentlemen, tonight’s attendance is… 80,497!! Snoop says the only thing better than that would be if Miz had a match tonight. Wait, what? Yeah, Miz should’ve had a match tonight. Well, Miz does agree with him. So Miz sent out a text, an email, posted to Twitter, Instagram and even MySpace. He put out an open challenge, but no one responded! Everyone knows Miz is the toughest man in the WWE! Why? Because he’s the Miz! And heeeeee’s… AWESOME! But wait, what? PAT MCAFEE IS HERE?!? And it ain’t no April Fool’s, either!

Corey Graves is upset but Michael Cole is pumped! McAfee gets in the ring, he gets himself a mic, and he says, “Hello, beautiful people~! Sup, Snoop? Sup. Legend Dogg! Bets Dogg! Hello, Miz. I think I speak for all of us, and I think I live on social media, I’ve been on the Twitter, I’ve been on the Instagram, I’ve been on the Facebook. None of us saw this alleged open challenge that you set. But good news: This is my WrestleMania tank top. I see nothing but space and opportunity, magic on the horizon. If you would still like a match, why don’t you let me beat your ass right here, right now?”

Miz asks the fans if they wanna see Miz VS McAfee right here and now? They do! Miz takes off the jacket, and says there is nothing that he would rather do than whoop McAfee. But he is the host, and he cannot make matches official. Uh, what? Miz, your tiny balls are showing. “TI-NY BALLS! TI-NY BALLS!” Fans echo that and Miz gets annoyed. Snoop asks wait, what? Well, if Miz can’t make this official, there are 80,497 people here. Someone has to be able to make a match official, right? Snoop says as the Dogg Father and cohost, he can make that happen! We got a ref, we got Miz and we got Pat, let’s do it!

The Miz VS Pat McAfee!

Miz says wait! But Miz said he wanted to. Snoop gets outta the ring, the bell rings, and Miz turns around! Pat fires off hands! The ref counts, Pat lets off and fans fire up. Miz staggers, but he runs in, into a SPINEBUSTER! Fans fire up as Pat stands on the corner. Pat then storms up on Miz, puts him on the top rope, and he goes up to join him! Miz fights back, shoves Pat away, but Pat flips to land on his feet! Miz leaps, into a SUPERKICK! Miz flounders out of the ring in a daze, and Pat waits on him. Fans chant “TINY BALLS!” while Miz flounders up. Pat mocks Miz and his meat. Corey tells Miz to think big!

Miz says to hell with it. Miz goes to leave while fans boo, but then he sucker punches George Kittle! But that just pisses Kittle off! He hops the railing, Pat distracts the ref, and Kittel CLOBBERS Miz!! Fans fire up and Kittel tells Pat to go up. Pat goes up, he aims at Miz, SUPER CANNONBALL! Fans fire up, Pat and Kittle high-five and put Miz in the ring. The ref reprimands Kittle, but Pat aims from the corner. Fans fire up with Pat and he unlocks the leg. PUNT!! Cover, Pat wins!

Winner: Pat McAfee, by pinfall

Fans cheer as Pat humbles the Hollywood A-Lister! Will we get even more big surprises on night two?

 

Lil’ Uzi Vert is here!

Fans fire up as Vert performs live, I Just Wanna Rock. And that’s all to cue up #WeTheOnes!

Undisputed WWE Tag Team Championships: The Usos VS Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn!

For over 620 DAYS, Jimmy & Jey have been the ones in the WWE Tag Division. But because of Bloodline’s family drama full of manipulation, deception and betrayal, they are now facing two men as close as brothers who both have a reason to stop the madness. Will the Prizefighter and Great Liberator accomplish both goals of winning gold and helping the Usos break away from The Tribal Chief? Or will Jimmy & Jey put “WrestleZAYNIA” on lockdown?

The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see if night one has either a happy or tragic ending!

The teams sort out and Jimmy starts against Sami. Fans fire up as Jimmy talks smack on Sami. Fans sing “OLE~, OLE OLE OLE~!” for Sami while Jimmy talks with Jey. Jimmy fires Jey up, and tags him in. Fans fire up as now Jey and Sami circle. They tie up, are in a deadlock, but then Jey shifts to headlock. Sami powers up and out, but Jey runs him over. Jey eggs Sami on, then raises the finger. Fans are torn but Sami keeps cool. Sami and Jey circle, tie up again, and they’re in another deadlock. Jey headlocks again, but Sami powers up and out again. Sami drops, then CLOBBERS Jey! Sami rains down fists from all sides!

Fans fire up as Sami paces around Jey. Sami stands Jey up, ROCKS him, then whips. Jimmy tags in and Jey reverses the whip. Sami ducks but Jimmy dumps him out! Jimmy waist on Sami to stand up, then CLOBBERS him! Jimmy eggs Sami on, brings him up and POSTS him! Jimmy stalks Sami, refreshes the ring count and tags Jey. Jimmy then holds Sami for Jey to DIVE! Direct hit and Sami hits barriers! Kevin storms over but the ref has him stay back. The Usos talk trash on Sami, Jey brings Sami up, and snap suplexes to the floor! The ring count is climbing, Jey refreshes it again, and he drags Sami into the ring.

Jey stands Sami up, ROCKS him with a right, and Sami sits down. Jey pie faces Sami to ropes, then CLUBS away on him! The ref counts, Jey let off, but Jimmy BOOTS Sami down! Fans boo but Jimmy soaks up the heat. Jey holds up the finger, but Sami lurches for Kevin! Jey drags Sami back, tags Jimmy, and Jimmy stomps Sami down. Jimmy then sucker punches Kevin! The ref reprimands but Jimmy taunts Kevin. The ref has to stop Kevin from rushing in, and Jimmy stands Sami up. Jimmy CHOPS Sami, and Sami staggers into the Uso corner. Tag to Jey, Jimmy holds Sami in place for the forearm smash! Cover, TWO!

Jey keeps his eyes on Kevin, and he keeps Sami from him. Jey wraps on a chinlock, fans rally up, and Sami fights up. Sami throws body shots, reaches for Kevin, but Jey whips Sami away. Sami holds ropes, BOOTS Jey, then he DECKS Jimmy! Jey runs in but Sami TOSSES him! Fans fire up as Sami crawls his way over! Hot tag to Kevin! Kevin goes up the corner to SUPER CANNONBALL the Usos! Kevin drags Jimmy up to POST him! Then he CLOBBERS Jey! And he CLOBBERS Jimmy! Kevin puts Jey in, then FROG SPLASHES Jimmy on the floor! Kevin goes up top, FROG SPLASH on Jey! Cover, TWO!

Jey survives but Kevin aims at him. Jey stands, Kevin kick slow, but no stunner! Jey POP-UP NECKBREAKERS! Cover, TWO! Jey stalks Kevin, puts him in the Uso corner, then snarls as he storms up. Jey puts Kevin up top, climbs up after him, but Kevin fights back! Jimmy tags in, but Kevin fights him off, too! Kevin HEADBUTTS Jey down! Kevin adjusts, SWANTON BOMBS but onto knees! Jimmy USO SPLASHES! Cover, TWO!! Kevin survives and fans fire up! Kevin crawls to a corner, Jimmy aims from the opposite. “UCE! SO! UCE! SO!” Jimmy runs in, but Kevin avoid the hip attack! SUPERKICK! ANOTHER SUPERKICK!

Kevin runs corner to corner, “SUCK IT!” CANNONBALL! Fans fire up and Kevin goes up top again! But Jey anchors him! Kevin fights Jey, Sami gets Jey with an APRON BRAINBUSTER!! SWANTON BOMB!! Cover, TWO!?!? Jimmy survives and the fans can’t believe it! Sami hurries to the corner, Kevin tags him in! Sami goes up top now, he aims at Jimmy, and he raises the finger! SAMI SPLASH!! Cover, TWO!!! Jimmy survives Sami’s take on the Usos’ favorite move! Sami shakes his head, and fans sing for him again. Sami drags Jimmy up, but Jimmy blocks the lift! Jimmy CLUBS away on Sami, and SUPERKICKS Kevin!

Sami shoots around, to BLUE- NO, Jimmy still fights it! Jimmy HEADBUTTS, tags Jey, but Sami BLUE THUNDER BOMBS Jimmy! Jey SUPERKICKS! Jey drags Sami up, whips him and SUPERKICKS him down! Cover, TWO!! Jey snarls, he tells Sami to get up, and Sami sits up. SUPERKICK! Jey pushes Sami back down, then he takes off his shirt. Jey throws the shirt at Sami, tags in Jimmy, and Jimmy SUPERKICKS! Jey SUPERKICKS! The Usos DOUBLE SUPERKICK! Cover, Kevin breaks it!! Jey SUPERKICKS Kevin! Kevin flops out of the ring, Jimmy says it’s time to execute. Tag to Jey and the Usos stalk Sami.

Jey sits Sami up and tells him this is it. The Usos DOUBLE BLINDSIDE SUPERKICK!! Cover, TWO?!?! Jey is growing further frustrated but the fans rally up. Sami feebly grabs at Jey but Jey pushes him away. Jey talks with Jimmy, and Jey tags Jimmy back in. Sami sits up but then flops over. Sami tries again, he’s on his knees, and the Usos SUPERKICK SANDWICH!! Cover, TWO!?!?? How is Sami doing this!? The Usos are pissed with the ref but the count is the count! Tag to Jey again, they circle Sami like sharks, and they bring him back up. The Usos say this is what he gets, and they double whip, but Kevin trips Jimmy!

Sami sunset flips Jey, TWO!?!? Jey escapes, but Kevin SMACKS Jimmy off the desk! And again and again and again! Kevin clears off the desk, drags Jimmy up onto it, and reels him in! But Jey hurries to save Jimmy! Jimmy UPPERCUTS then SUPERKICKS! Kevin wobbles, the Usos hurry up onto the desk with him, DOUBLE UREANGE through the OTHER table!! Jey says that’s what he gets! “Look at you now!” The ring count climbs, but the Usos leave Kevin behind to go back to Sami. Sami sits up in a daze, Jey tags Jimmy. Jey reels Sami in, ONE AND DONE!!! Cover, TWO!?!?!? IS SAMI EVEN HUMAN!?!?

Jimmy and Jey are in utter disbelief, but Jimmy tags Jey back in. Jey taunts Sami as Sami flounders to the corner. Why won’t Sami quit? HUH!? WHY!? Jey SLAPS Sami and wants a response. Sami mutters and mumbles as Jey keeps SLAPPING him! Jey throws forearms now! The ref counts, Jey UPPERCUTS Sami! Sami leans against the buckles, and Jey backs away. Jey watches Sami flop in the corner, drag himself back up, then flop down again. Fans rally for Sami as hard as ever, but Jey runs in, to HELLUVA KICK!!! Sami falls against Jey, and Jey says this is what they do. Sami should’ve never left-

EXPLODER INTO THE CORNER!! Sami had one last gasp in him!! And somehow, Kevin is back!? Kevin’s just as inhuman as Sami! Sami crawls his way, to hot tag Kevin! Jimmy rushes in, but Kevin dodges, to POP-UP POWERBOMB! POP-UP POERBOMB for Jey!! Kevin calls to Sami, Sami runs in to HELLUVA KICK Jimmy! Kevin STUNNERS Jey!! Cover, TWO!?!? Jey survives and Kevin can’t believe it! All four men are down, exhausted, and the fans are thunderous! “This is Awesome!” as Sami and Kevin regroup on one side of the ring and the Usos go to the other. Kevin helps Sami stand, the Usos help each other.

Kevin and Sami stare down with Jimmy and Jey. Fans fire up all over again, and Kevin shouts, “LET’S END IT!” THE BRAWL IS ON! SUPERKICK for Sami! SUPERKICK for Jimmy! SUPERKICK for Jey! Kevin whips, Jimmy tags Jey and Jey leap frogs! SUPERKICK! SUPERKICK! DOUBLE SUPERKICKS!! DOUBLE SUPERKICKS for Sami! The Usos set Kevin up in the drop zone and the Usos each take a corner! DOUBLE USO SPLASH!!!! Cover, TWO?!?!?!?! THIS IS UNHEARD OF!!!! The Usos have no explanation for how Kevin and Sami have lasted this long! Kevin drags himself up with the ropes, but Jey is right on him.

Jey stands Kevin up, to then back off and tag Jimmy. The Usos run in, DOUBLE SUPERKICKS!! Kevin slumps right down, and Jimmy says to finish this with “a big one.” Tag back to Jey, they hoist Kevin up top, but Sami drags Jimmy out! Sami TOSSES Jimmy, Kevin hits the SUPER FISHERMAN BUSTER!! Jey flounders around, Sami hurries back over! Kevin crawls, to hot tag Sami! The hottest tag ever! Sami glares right at Jey, and then he runs in to HELLUVA KICK!!! Jey falls against Sami now, and Sami says, “I’m sorry, Uce.” He sets Jey up for another HELLUVA KICK!!!! Jey is wobbling, Jimmy returns, into a STUNNER!!

Sami sets Jey up for a THIRD HELLUVA KIIIIICK!!!!! Cover, SAMI & KEVIN WIN!!!!

Winners: Sami Zayn & Kevin Owens, by pinfall (NEW Undisputed WWE Tag Team Champions)

621 days, and DONE! The Hollywood ending comes true for Kevin and Sami! They are not only tag team champions for the first time in either man’s WWE career, they are finally tag team champions TOGETHER! Jimmy & Jey are no longer the ones, that title, and the tag team titles, belong to Kevin & Sami! Is this only the beginning of the Bloodline’s fall?


My Thoughts:

What an awesome first night for WrestleMania! Now, a two hour kickoff show where there’s no kickoff match is a bit much, and it seems they’re gonna do it again tomorrow, probably with more reactions to tonight than predictions, since they took care of most of that today. Though, we did get great stuff from all the celebrity guests, and I like that Knoxville stood by not liking Sami Zayn. And really good opening vignette from Kevin Hart, he’s always great.

Anyway, every match tonight was great from top to bottom, even that surprise appearance of Pat McAfee to face The Miz. Pat is hilarious, and he is kinda the perfect crossover celebrity since he’s also a big part of traditional sports talk. Plus, fans love seeing Miz be humbled so that was a good move there. But someone not being humbled is Austin Theory, as he cheats to win. But of course he was gonna do that, he’s the Heel. Theory inflates his ego more, though not as much as I was expecting, i.e. partying backstage the whole time. Being obnoxious to that level is still more a “Happy” Baron Corbin thing, I suppose.

The Showcase tag matches may have just been put together to get more teams on the shows and all that, but the whole match turned out to be great stuff. I’m a little disappointed there was no involvement from Maximum Male Models, but maybe MMM will find Otis on Raw to try and get it through to him to join them. And in terms of the win, I didn’t see the Profits winning, but fans love the Profits so that was fine. Nice plug for UUDD and WWE 2K23, and y’know what? Turns out they were right, Rollins won. Logan again impresses, regardless of what side he plays or if fans like him, but it was clever for him to have a buddy in disguise. But Rollins winning, he’s gonna do nothing less than MITB this year, can’t wait to see what happens for Backlash in a month.

Great Six Woman Tag, and I liked the Sin City comic book superhero stuff for the Face team entrance. And again, another “make the fans happy” move by having the Faces win, but from storytelling, it doesn’t seem right. What does DMG CTRL do other than break up? How are Kai & Sky supposed to get the titles like this? Granted, the Women’s Showcase is tomorrow, maybe Ronda & Shayna win so they can challenge Becky & Lita. Rey VS Dom was great stuff, especially in the storytelling department. Getting the rest of the family involved was logical, but wow, Dom splashing his sister with her drink. I was surprised Finn showed up with Priest, but great move for the new LWO, aka Legado, to show up and fight them off, and have Bad Bunny stop the cheating.

And of course, holy crap the final two title matches tonight. No wonder WWE was torn between the women’s title and the tag titles for main event. In the end, Charlotte VS Rhea goes before the tag titles, but they definitely gave us a main event performance just to show everyone what they can do. That was high level, they deserve to be in the conversation for match of the year. The tag titles main eventing does make sense on the level that it’ll parallel Cody VS Roman tomorrow. The story of the Bloodline’s dominance has, well, dominated the WWE for over a year, and this tag title match was definitely worthy of the spot. Great action, great storytelling, though quite a lot more false finishes than I expected. Kevin & Sami winning was the right call, and was definitely catharsis for Sami. And this will all definitely affect Roman tomorrow, can’t wait to see that main event.

My Score: 9.1/10


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Coverage

Mitchell’s WWE Raw Results & Report! (7/22/24)

Scores will be settled!

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Will this be the Final Chapter for Xavier Woods?

The Final Testament have tried to tear The New Day apart, but Xavier Woods is still standing. Otis & Akira Tozawa stand with him, but will they win?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • WWE Intercontinental Championship #1 Contender’s Match: Ilja Dragunov VS Bron Breakker; Bron wins and will challenge Sami Zayn for the title.
  • Lyra Valkyria w/ Kayden Carter & Katana Chance VS Sonya Deville w/ Shayna Baszler & Zoey Stark; Sonya wins.
  • Six Man Tag: Xavier Woods, Akira Tozawa & Otis w/ Maxxine Dupri VS The Final Testament; The Final Testament wins.
  • Bronson Reed VS Pete Dunne; No Contest.
  • Zelina Vega VS Zoey Stark w/ Sonya Deville & Shayna Baszler; Zelina wins.
  • Sami Zayn & Jey Uso VS Finn Balor & JD McDonagh; Sami & Jey win.

PLAY BY PLAY

PROGRAMMING NOTE for Raw!

Because of the 2024 Summer Olympics, Raw moves over to SyFy for the next TWO weeks! Check your cable guides and DVRs to make sure you don’t miss a thing!

 

GUNTHER is here!

Green Bay is torn as Der Ring General walks to the ring. Gunther gets the mic, and as the fans boo, he says, “I know, I know. I know.” The fans boo more, but Gunther still says, “Let me explain myself real quick. I took some time to reflect on the things I said to Damian Priest last week. And I agree.” The fans chant “YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!” Gunther says we should just skip that. HE MEANT EVERY WORD HE SAID! Priest and everyone in this arena here are BUMS! Because what is at stake is what is nearest and dearest to Gunther, and that is the honor and prestige of this great sport, and the World Heavyweight Championship,

“Ask yourself why did they send me out here first and not Damian Priest? That is because everybody in this company, and every one of you know, he does not live up to it. And that cute little sob story about fighting from the streets and whatever, that does not cover up the fact that Damian Priest is a pretender and a wannabe.” There is a saying where Gunther comes from. He says it in German first, then says, “Show me your friends, and I show you who you are.” We know Priest’s friends, The Judgment Day. And today’s the day when The Judgment Day will be judged by Der Ring General. And he judges them all collectively as TRASH!

The fans boo more but Gunther tells Priest that we know he’s back there. So for the last time, here is a generous offer. Just come on out, lift that weight off his shoulders that he’s not up to carrying, and hand Gunther his championship. Come on, let’s get this over with so we can move past this. Priest can even go home to the trailer park. But here comes El Campeon, and he is storming to the ring! The fans fire up as The Punisher then DECKS Gunther! The fans fire up for the brawl, but then refs run in! Gunther BOOTS Priest but Priest fires back! The brawl continues, security runs out there, and Gunther kicks Priest again!

Producers get in this, too, and the two are separated. But the fans want to “LET THEM FIGHT! LET THEM FIGHT!” Priest gets loose enough to SUPERKICK Gunther down! Gunther falls out of the ring, pushes guards aside, but then Priest fires off on guards, too! And he TOSSES one out onto the rest! Security falls but Gunther gets away! So Priest LEAPS out onto him! The brawl continues at the ramp, but the producers do everything they can to stop this! Gunther retreats, but Priest pursues! Priest CLOBBERS Gunther and Raw goes to break! Will this chaos continue through the commercials?

 

Raw returns and…

Jackie Redmond reports in that she’s about to get word from Gunther, but then Priest runs up outta nowhere! Priest CLOBBERS Gunther again, and fires off more hands! Gunther CLAWS Priest’s eyes, shoves him back, and security has to rush back in! Producers get in there, too, and Adam Pearce shouts for this to stop! It spills out into the backlot, and Gunther is sent into a road case! Priest still wants after Gunther but Gunther gets away, will either man even make it to SummerSlam?

 

WWE Intercontinental Championship #1 Contender’s Match: Ilja Dragunov VS Bron Breakker!

From one championship battle to another, The Mad Dragon wants some payback on this rabid dog called Bron Breakker. Dragunov was battling his heart out against Sami Zayn but Bron had to go and ruin that. Will Dragunov kill two birds with one Torpedo Moscow? Or will the Big Bad Booty Nephew prove he’s #MeanerThanEvil?

The bell rings and the two rush in! Bron avoids a boot to waistlock but Ilja throws elbows. Ilja then CHOPS and fans “WOO~!” Ilja eggs Bron on but Bron runs up to TACKLE Ilja! Bron HAMMERS Ilja, Ilja bails out, but Bron goes out to rain down forearms! Bron asks, “Anyone else wanna try to slap the crap?!” Bron SMACKS Ilja off the apron, hears the ring count, and pushes Ilja in at 6 of 10. Bron then storms up but Ilja fires off forearms and boxing elbows! Ilja ROCKS Bron, runs up, and KNEES Bron down! Ilja fires up and Green Bay is with him, and he stalks Bron to a corner. Ilja CHOPS Bron, bumps him off buckles, then CHOPS again!

Ilja keeps Bron up but Bron fires forearms in return. Bron UPPERCUTS, Ilja rebounds to BOOT! Bron tumbles out to the apron and the fans fire up with Ilja again. Ilja goes out, CLUBS Bron, then CHOPS! Bron fires body shots and haymakers! Bron CLUBS Ilja, Ilja body shots back! Ilja fireman’s carries Bron, the fans fire up again, but Bron holds ropes! Ilja lets go to get around Bron, and CLUBS him in the back. Bron goes to the other side of the corner, Ilja stands him up, and Ilja fires forearms. Bron SMACKS Ilja off the buckle! The fans rally, Bron drags Ilja back up, and they go up the corner! The fans rally up and Ilja fights the suplex!

Ilja throws body shots, but now Bron fights the suplex! They go to the very top, and Bron GOURD BUSTERS Ilja on the post! Ilja falls to the floor, Bron laughs, and Raw goes to break.

Raw returns and Ilja endures a bearhug! Bron squeezes but the fans rally for Ilja. Ilja CLUBS Bron, is free, and he SLAPS Bron! And SLAPS! And SLAPS! Bron shakes his head, catches Ilja to a fireman’s carry, and a GUTBUSTER DROP! Cover, TWO! Ilja survives but Bron grins. Ilja shakes his head, Bron drags him up, and the fans rally as Bron reels Ilja in. Bron lifts Ilja but Ilja punches free of the bomb to DDT! Both men are down again and the fans continue to rally. Both men rise, and Ilja CHOPS! Bron ROCKS Ilja, Ilja fires back! They go back and forth, but then Ilja CHOPS! SPIN CHOP! CHOP to the leg! Another CHOP high!

Bron staggers, Ilja ENZIGIRIS! Bron stumbles, but he gets moving! Ilja BOOTS him first! Ilja then runs up, dodges Bron, CONSTANTINE SPECIAL! Green Bay is thunderous as both men rise, and Ilja CHOPS Bron in a corner. Ilja bumps Bron off buckles, CHOPS again, then goes corner to corner and back again, for a JUMP KNEE! Bron stumbles, Ilja keeps moving, BOOT WASH in the corner! The fans fire up and Ilja drags Bron back up. Ilja reels Bron in, but Bron fights the lift! Ilja’s back bothers him but he still tries. Bron gets free, but Ilja SLAPOs, SLAPS and DISCUS SLAPS! Then he lifts Bron for a POWERBOMB!! Cover, TWO!!

Bron survives and Ilja is beside himself! The fans fire up, “This is Awesome!” and Ilja drags himself to a corner. Ilja rises up the ropes, but Bron rises. Bron anchors Ilja, Ilja CLUBS away on him. Ilja SLAPS Bron away, but Bron comes back and springs right up! SUPER STEINER! Cover, TWO!! Ilja survives and Bron is stunned! Bron hurries up a corner and he takes aim. Ilja rises, and he ENZIGIRIS a leg out! Bron is stuck on his Steiner, and Ilja goes up after him! SUPER DUPER PLEX!! Ilja rises, to H-BOMB FOREARM!! But he can’t make the cover! Bron rolls away to the apron to save himself! Ilja crawls over and fans rally up.

Ilja snarls, drags Bron up to fireman’s carry, but Bron holds ropes! Ilja still hits an APRON DEATH VALLEY DRIVER! Bron flops to the floor and the fans are thunderous again! Ilja crawls along the apron, “This is Awesome!” as he takes aim. SUPER H- SPEAR!!! Ilja gets sandwiched between Bron and apron! Bron slides into the ring and waits. The ref checks Ilja, and then calls it!? Bron wins by default!

Winner: Bron Breakker, by referee stoppage (NEW #1 Contender to the Intercontinental Championship)

The fans boo but the ref calls for medical. The medics check Ilja, who still seems knocked for a loop. Bron gets his second shot at Sami Zayn, will he end up doing the exact same thing to the champ? Or will Sami be able to turn the tide just like he did at Money in the Bank?

 

Judgment Day hangs out in the clubhouse.

They’re still playing WWE 2K, but also arguing about some things. Rhea Ripley has them all snap out of it. They might’ve lost Priest for the night, since he’s focused on his world title. But they also have the World Tag Team Championships, and she is going to get back her Women’s World Championship. JD says not long now, and she says right. Not long now until The Judgment Day holds all the gold once again. Dominik says that’s great, but he wants to talk with her. She accepts and they step aside. Dom knows they had a good week reconnecting, but… Dom just worries about what he saw online with Jey Uso asking for her number and she said, “Yeet.”

Rhea tells Dom to calm down. She’s just messing around. Unlike what Dom was doing with Liv Morgan. Rhea was watching Dom’s socials, too, y’know. Finn Balor steps in. He thinks Dom needs to take care of Jey once and for all! The boys agree, but Rhea says no, Jey doesn’t matter at all. Oh, is Rhea defending Jey? No! She’s not defending anyone. But what’s the point of starting a war with Jey? Dom, use your brain. Carlito agrees, use your brain. JD asks whose side Carlito’s on, and Finn looks at Dom. “You know what you have to do.” Is peer pressure about to get in Dirty Dom’s head?

 

Adam Pearce talks backstage with Drew McIntyre.

It seems McIntyre finally does apologize to the refs, and he shakes hands with the Raw GM. McIntyre has been reinstated, but will he be able to keep his cool with CM Punk also in the building tonight?

 

Xavier Woods and the (former) Alpha Academy celebrate.

It’s Tozawa’s birthday, so he gets a cake! He blows out the candles, and the group digs in. Otis uses his bare hands and says “OH YEAH~!” Tozawa does his shuffle and Woods says that’s naaasty~! But will things get real nasty when they take on Karrion Kross & The Authors of Pain later tonight?

 

Lyra Valkyria w/ Kayden Carter & Katana Chance VS Sonya Deville w/ Shayna Baszler & Zoey Stark!

The Morrigan and her new pals in the party gals have been beefing with this new trio of hunters, and we saw KC Squared get cheated just last week. Will Lyra humble Sonya so soon after her return? Or will Sonya go 2-0 real quick with help from her new friends?

Raw returns and Sonya makes her entrance, Shayna & Zoey by her side. The bell rings, the fans rally and the two circle. They tie up, and Sonya powers Lyra back. Lyra turns things around, they end up on ropes, then a corner. The ref counts, Lyra and Sonya move from the corner, and Sonya fires knee after knee! Sonya throws Lyra down by her hair, then soaks up the heat. Sonya gets in Lyra’s face, but Lyra SLAPS her! Lyra RAMS Sonya into the corner, RAMS her again and again, then stomps a mudhole in! The ref counts, Lyra lets off, and she blocks a boot to ROCK Sonya! Lyra whips corner to corner but Sonya reverses.

Lyra goes up and over and handsprings, tot hen sweep the legs! Sonya flounders, into a SHOTGUN! Cover, ONE!! Sonya bails out to the apron then regroups with her team. Lyra rallies the fans and builds speed, but Shayna saves Sonya! Sonya then THROWS Lyra into barriers! The fans boo but Sonya soaks it up. Kayden & Katana check on Lyra while Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Lyra ROCKS Sonya up top! Lyra climbs but Sonya CLUBS her over and over! Lyra hops down but then hops back up to fire more forearms! Lyra HAMMERS Sonya, brings her up, and the fans rally up for the SUPERPLEX! Both women are down and writhing from that rough landing, but the fans rally back up. Lyra rises, Sonya sits up, and Lyra fires a forearm! And another! Sonya hits back, then SOBATS! Sonya KICKS Lyra, KICKS her down, and Lyra sits up. Lyra avoid the sliding knee to kip up and ENZIGIRI! Lyra hurries to reel Sonya in, but Sonya wrenches out! Lyra steps over to SOBAT!

Lyra KICKS, HEADBUTTS, KICKS and HEEL KICKS! Sonya falls, Lyra brings her back around. Scoop and NORTHERN LIGHTS! Bridging cover, TWO! Sonya escapes and the fans rally up. Shayna & Zoey are stressed for Sonya as Lyra brings her up. Lyra fireman’s carries, but Sonya slips free to dragon sleeper! But Lyra snapmares free! Sonya comes back, wants a leg, but Lyra steps over to gut wrench! Lyra holds Sonya upside-down, to then GUT WRENCH BOMB! Cover, TWO!! Sonya survives but Lyra is not stopping! Lyra goes up a corner, but Shayna gets on the apron! The ref stops her but misses Zoey SHOVE Lyra down!

The fans boo but then Kayden & Katana YANK Shayna down! They TOSS Shayna, then DECK Zoey! But Sonya SHOVES Katana! Zoey SUPERKICKS Kayden! Sonya runs up, Lyra dodges to WRECK Shayna with a dropkick! But Sonya drags Lyra in for DEVILLE’S ADVOCATE! Cover, Sonya wins!

Winner: Sonya Deville, by pinfall

As the theme song says, Sonya’s a beast and a menace, but she’s also the winner. Shayna & Zoey raise her hands in victory, will these three do what they want to who they want until they are in control of the Women’s Division?

 

The Wyatt Sick6 have another video.

“Look at yourself. Look at yourself. Look at yourself!” Sister Abigail smiles. “They lied to you. Ignored you. Watched you suffer in solitude. I have been the answer all along.” Sister Abigail goes from laughing to crying to shrieking. Is that Nikki Cross? What darkness has consumed her sanity to make her into… this?

 

CM Punk is here!

Green Bay fires up for the Best in the World as he makes his way out, and he high-fives the fans by the stage area on his way to the ramp. Then Punk makes sure we know, “It’s CLOBBERIN’ Time~!” Punk continues down to ringside, high-fives some more fans, and even Samantha Irving before he steps inside the ring. The fans chant for “C M PUNK! C M PUNK!” as he gets the mic. Punk says, “Is it great to be alive on a Monday night in Green Bay, Wisconsin or what?” The fans cheer that! Punk asks if Green Bay’s bay is really green. Maybe it is, and his shoes are pink, and it is time to stain them both with the blood of a Scottish Psychopath!

Because Punk saw his surgeon on Saturday night, and Punk is CLEARED! That means Punk will get his pound of flesh, so McIntyre, come get the beating you deserve! Punk wraps up his fists with tape, the fans fire up behind him, and here comes McIntyre! The Scottish Psychopath has a mic of his own as he glares at Punk from the stage. McIntyre can’t tell us how long he’s waited for this. With how Punk has screwed him over and over, there will be nothing to stop McIntyre from getting in that ring and tearing Punk apart! Except the fact he doesn’t want to. What? Well, Punk wants to! Punk goes out, but security and refs rush in!

The fans boo and McIntyre tells Punk to relax. Their match is too big for Green Bay. This is big money. Control your emotions, Punk. McIntyre is chill. When he’s emotional, he tends to turn to family. He shows off the bracelet! Punk is even angrier, but Adam Pearce tells McIntyre that this is enough. It’s been ten minutes, McIntyre can’t help himself. What McIntyre isn’t telling everyone is that there’s a reason they’re not fighting tonight. McIntyre is officially reinstated, Punk is officially medically cleared, so IT IS OFFICIAL: McIntyre VS Punk at SUMMERSLAM! The fans love that, but Punk still wants to fight now!

Pearce says another thing that’s not clear is that if either one lays a finger on the other, not only is the match off, the first person to swing gets suspended indefinitely! The chaos has to stop! Between these two, Gunther and Priest, Pearce has a big problem, but also a big referee problem. And here comes Seth Rollins!! The Visionary swaggers out in a frilly curtain of a coat, the fans sing along with “WHOA~ OH~ OHH~!” and Rollins laughs as he passes McIntyre. Rollins promises they’ll all love this one. Rollins and Pearce shake hands, and Rollins heads into the ring. Rollins gets himself a mic, and says, “Oh yeah< Green Bay, we had ourselves a problem, didn’t we?”

See, Drew hates Punk, Punk hates Drew, and both these morons, all the chaos they’ve caused the past year has scared away everybody from getting in between them. But Rollins isn’t a problem guy, Green Bay. No, no, no. Rollins is a solutions guy! And he thinks he has a solution. Rollins knows a guy who thrives on chaos, and who would love nothing more than to put these two in their places! He is a Visionary… He is a Revolutionary…! And at SummerSlam, he is your SPECIAL GUEST REFEREE! HE is Seth FREAKIN’ Rollins!! The fans are thunderous but both Punk and Drew step up to the apron. Rollins swaggers now, but will he have to lay down the law in The Land?

 

Judgment Day searches backsatge.

Are they trying to find Jey? Carlito says divide and conquer. JD will check catering. Carlito says catering sounds good. They go that way, and then Finn says he’ll go over this way while Dom goes the other way, and they’ll double back. Dom says okay, and heads out. Only for Liv to find him first! Dom says stop it, Liv, you can’t keep doing this. Liv says she just wants to check on him. Rhea’s going off the deep end, how is Dom doing? Dom asks what she’s even doing. Liv hushes him and says it is okay. She knows how Rhea makes Dom feel. Don’t worry about it, everything will be okay.

Dom says everything IS okay, now! Rhea and Dom are perfect actually. That’s the spirit. What? Finn returns and Liv says that’s her cue. Bye, Daddy Dom. Finn says he left Dom alone for ten seconds, what happened? Dom asks back if Finn saw Jey. Maybe he went this way, aka the way Liv went. Finn stops Dom before he gets started, and they go the other way. Finn sighs, will Dom ever get his head on straight?

 

Backstage interview with Sami Zayn.

Cathy Kelley is with the WWE Intercontinental Champion and asks him about Bron Breakker being his challenger. Is he concerned seeing what happened to Ilja tonight? “Concerned” may not be the word for it, but we all saw what Bron did to Ilja. They went to war, they wanted this title, and Bron did earn his shot. “Concern” isn’t the word, but Sami is taking Bron very seriously. Sami tells Bron that Bron should be careful not to make the same mistake he did at MITB by taking Sami very seriously. Sami will do what he does every single time this title is on the line, and that is bring 100%.

Cathy says we have yet to get an update on Ilja’s exact injury, but- Wait, what is that noise? They look down the hall, and we see Judgment Day beatin up on Jey! Sami hits back! Sami fires off on JD, Jey hits Carlito, and the brawl is on! Sami SMACKS JD off the road case, but Carlito says bail out! Carlito gets JD outta there, Sami helps Jey to his feet. Will Sami & Jey have to make sure something is done about Judgment Day?

 

Six Man Tag: Xavier Woods, Akira Tozawa & Otis w/ Maxxine Dupri VS The Final Testament!

They blew out the candles, had the cake, and now this match will be the special birthday gift for the Stamina Monster! Can Woods, Tozawa & Otis be a new super trio that takes down Karrion Kross & The Authors of Pain? Or will this already be their Final Chapter?

Raw returns and The Final Testament makes their entrance. The trios sort out and Woods starts against Kross. The fans rally as the two circle, and “NEW! DAY ROCKS!” But Kross tags out to Rezar. Woods figured as much, and he dodges the Albanian Psycho to mule kick! Woods fires hands, but Rezar RAMS Woods into a corner! Rezar CHOKES Woods, lets off as the ref counts, then runs in. Woods dodges to CHOP, CHOP and CHOP! Rezar just gets mad and TOSSES Woods to the Testament’s corner. Tag to Akam, and he stomps Woods down. Rezar CLUBS Woods, and Akam soaks up heat. The fans boo but Akam CLUBS Woods.

The “Punjabi Nightmare” whips Woods, but Woods ducks ‘n’ dodges to then FLYIGN FOREARM! The fans fire up and Woods ROCKS Akam again! Woods stomps Akam, CHOPS him, CHOPS him, and CHOPS him again! Woods wrenches, Tozawa tags in, and Tozawa climbs to AX HANDLE! Tozawa runs to ROCK Akam! Akam grabs Tozawa by the neck! Akam scoops, Tozawa slips free and he DUMPS Akam out! The fans fire up as Tozawa then WRECKS Akam with a dropkick! TOZAWA TOPE and down goes Akam! The fans fire up, and Tozawa rips his shirt! The Stamina Monster is runnin’ wild while Raw goes to break!

Raw returns again and Akam knocks Tozawa over. The fans boo but Akam drags Tozawa back up, only for Tozawa to throw hands! The fans fire up and Tozawa fires haymakers! Akam shoves Tozawa to ELBOW him down! Cover, TWO! Maxxine and the fans rally but Kross tags in. Kross stomps Tozawa, stalks him to a corner, then hauls him up. Kross whips corner to corner but Tozawa goes up to CROSSBODY! Kross catches him for a fireman’s carry! F5 THOUSAND! Kross roars but the fans boo. Kross stomps Tozawa, the fans chant “We Want Otis!” Kross smirks, then sucker punches Woods! Kross runs upb ut Tozawa BOOTS him!

Kross returns but Tozawa SUPERKICKS! Tozawa then dodges Kross, hto tag to Otis! Wisconsin’s own starts rallying on The Final Testament! LARIAT after LARIAT and Green Bay is thunderous! Otis even rolls and comes back to LARIAT! The fans are electric as Otis SPLASHES Akam in a corner! Akam falls, and Otis takes off the vest! Otis wiggles those hips and hits the CATERPILLAR~ ELBOW! Akam bails out and the fans go wild! But Kross ROCKS Otis with a forearm! Kross runs up, Otis ELBOWS him, and Woods tags in. Rezar drags Otis out, Woods goes up, and Woods MISSILE DROPKICKS Kross!

Tozawa goes up to SUPER CROSSBODY Rezar! The fans fire up and Woods kips up to fire fast hands on Kross! The ref gets in there, Woods says get outta here! Woods fires more hands, then SUPERKICKS Akam! But Kross scoops Woods for a FINAL PRAYER!! Cover, Final Testament wins!

Winner: The Final Testament, by pinfall

Woods on fire, but he could not stop the apocalypse. Kross mockingly applauds Woods, but will he ever break Woods’ spirit? Wait, here comes the new Alpha Academy, Chad Gable & The Creed Brothers. The fans chant “YOU SUCK!” but what does Gable have to say? We find out, after the break.

Raw returns and…

Gable & The Creeds are in the ring with Otis, Tozawa & Maxxine. The fans still chant “YOU SUCK!” but Gable ignores that. He says, “My old crew. Now, the reason I asked for you guys to stay out here tonight is because there is something in me that needs to just keep helping my former pupils, y’know? I can’t help myself. That’s just the type of guy I am, I guess.” Gable says Otis has assumed a leadership position in the group, that’s an interesting choice. But the first thing he does is team with Xavier Woods, and loses! Now, the coach in Gable would say Otis has to lead with his mind, but we all know using his brain isn’t Otis’ strong point.

The fans boo but Gable says using his brain IS his strong suit. That’s why he has Julius & Brutus Creed, a couple fine and professional freak athletes to stand by his side. And they’ll fill in where there were some weaknesses. But this is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Otis, do the right thing and come back to your coach to rejoin the Academy. The fans boo and say “NO! NO! NO!” Gable says whoa, hey, a little incentive first. The Wyatt Sick6 is after everyone, including them, so they can get extra protection. Otis asks, “Protection? Are you sure, Chad Gable? Like you protected the Creed Brothers last week?”

Otis says oh yeah, when things get juicy, get dangerous, Gable flees the scene, leaving the other two for dead in the ring. Otis says that is the kind of man Gable is. As for Otis’ answer, it is still “No.” The fans cheer and Gable says he’s an idiot! Maxxine, Tozawa, you’re not letting this clown speak for you, are you? But they stay by Otis’ side! Green Bay cheers Otis, and Gable says well then, this is unfortunate. Boys! The Creeds CLOBBER Otis & Tozawa! Brutus TOSSES Tozawa, then the brothers mug Otis 2v1! The fans boo, Maxxine hurries to Tozawa’s side, and Otis blasts free! Otis DOUBLE LARIATS The Creeds!

Otis is face to face with Gable and Gable panics! Otis grabs Gable by the neck, pops him up, but The Creeds save Gable from a powerslam! The Creeds & Gable stomp away 3v1 now, and they sit Otis up. They POST Otis, and Otis tumbles out to the apron and then floor. The fans boo as they haul Otis up again, throw more hands, and then RAM him into the apron side! Gable brings his new boys chairs! But then the lights start turning off! Gable panics all over again as the fireflies come out! The fans tell Gable he done messed up now! The fog rolls in, the piano plays, but Julius & Brutus are ready to fight!

The eerie light shines from the stage, and out step Abigail, Huskus, Mercy & Ramblin’ Rabbit! But then wait, UNCLE HOWDY is behind Gable!! “There you are!” Gable turns around, into the SISTER ABIGAIL!! Howdy hits Gable with that wicked sidewinder! The Wyatts are here, will they make Gable learn the error of his ways?

 

Bronson Reed VS Pete Dunne!

The Colossal Aussie beat the Bruiserweight, lost to the Celtic Warrior, but he still got the better of them both in the end. Will he demolish Dunne all over again? Or will the former NXT UK Champion show us he can #StandTall all on his own?

But then Sheamus KNEES Dunne down!! Bronson says okay, let’s go! He and Sheamus fire off forearms and haymakers and the fans fire up! Bronson HEADBUTTS Sheamus, fireman’s carries, but Sheamus slips free to KNEE Bronson! Dunne is back up but Sheamus tosses him out! Sheamus has Dunne on the ropes, for BEATS OF THE BODRHAIN! The fans count all the way to TEN! Dunne flops back in, Sheamus throws his shirt for a free souvenir! Sheamus aims from a corner, and he- NO, Dunne bails out to avoid the Brogue! So Sheamus just changes targets, BROGUE for Bronson!

Bronson bails out and The Fella stands tall! Will the 15 YEAR WWE icon just have to fight everybody to remind everybody who the hell he is?

 

Judgment Day regroups backstage.

JD & Carlito are still sore and Rhea asks what the hell! They found Jey… Then Sami found them… It didn’t go well. JD says Carlito, c’mon, you don’t always have to tell the truth. Finn says he is tired of the disrespect! He talked with Pearce, so it is official! Finn & McDonagh will take down Jey & Sami! Then next week, if Gunther wants to call The Judgment Day a joke, then we’ll see who is laughing when he faces Finn 1v1! Rhea says okay, cool, but she told them not to mess with Jey! And now Sami is involved! Oh, and where were Dom & Finn when that scrap happened? Carlito chuckles and says ask Liv.

Rhea asks Dom what that means and Dom says he has no idea what was going on. Liv just- Rhea stops him there and says they’re going to the ring. The fans fire up as Rhea drags her Latino Heat out of the room. What is about to go down when Mami and Dommy go out there?

 

Backstage interview with Sheamus.

Jackie Redmond is with The Fella and brings up his attack on Bronson and former friend, Dunne. What exactly is going on here? Sheamus says he knows this business like the back of his hand. Bronson wanted to take Sheamus out of this business just so he could be the man that ended the Celtic Warrior. And as for his old brawling buddy, Pete, that’s still a head scratcher. Whatever issue Pete has with Sheamus, they can easily settle it. They can go to an ol’ Irish pub, have a pint, and settle this like proper fellas. Or they can take this to the ring and find out who the real bruiserweight is. Up for a banger? Sheamus heads out, what will be Dunne’s response?

 

Rhea & Dom go to the ring!

The fans cheer as Mami pushes Dirty Dom down the ramp and ushers him into the ring. Rhea then gets a mic to shout at Liv! If Liv wants him, then come get him! What?! Liv makes her entrance, but from the bleachers behind Rhea & Dom. Liv says hi, guys~! And Rhea, um, no, Liv’s not gonna be going to the ring, because unlike Rhea, Liv has some self control. Liv waited for Rhea all this time, she can wait until SummerSlam. And the reason Liv is here is obvious: It’s because she has feelings for Dom! Rhea glares at Dom but Liv says Dom surely has feelings for Liv, and no one can deny that.

But you know why that is? It’s because gorgeous men like Dom don’t go for girls that look like Rhea. No, gorgeous men like Dom go for girls that look like Liv. Liv shows off the shorts, and then Dom stops Rhea from storming out of the ring! Rhea pushes Dom, Dom grabs at Rhea, but Rhea glares at him! Rhea says let go, but Dom wants her to listen. What does Dom want?! Dom says he will take care of this. Liv says hold on, Green Bay, hold on, let Dom talk. The fans boo but Liv says please let Dom speak. Because she knows what he’s gonna say, and she feels the exact same way. So Dom, finally just say those three little words!

Dom asks Liv if she wants those three little words. Yes, please! Dom says “I HATE YOU!!” IS she stupid?! Deaf!? She has RUINED his life over and over again! Liv is about to cry as Dom insults her more! Dom cannot stand Liv, she’s ruined so much of his life! Liv backs away sobbing, and fans boo Dom more. Rhea smiles, proud of her Dommy. She whispers something to him and he smiles. Rhea then licks Dom on the cheek before kissing him on the cheek. How is it that Dom has these two fighting over him like he’s the championship? And speaking of the championship, will Liv’s broken heart cost her the title at SummerSlam?

 

On stage interview with Zelina Vega.

Cathy Kelley is there to ask Zelina about last week, the damaged suffered at the hands of Sonya Deville. Zelina’s arm is all wrapped up, so is she worried about having another match so soon? Zelina says she’s a Boricua, this is not going to stop her! She said it before and will say it again, no one can keep Zelina Vega down. She’s been underestimated her whole life, so it is time to prove people wrong and shutting people the hell up! Fans cheer that, and La Muneca continues to the ring. But will having a target on that arm only make it easy for The Hunter to hit the mark?

Zelina Vega VS Zoey Stark w/ Sonya Deville & Shayna Baszler!

Raw returns and Zoey makes her entrance, Sonya & Shayna by her side. The bell rings and the two circle. Zoey runs up, Zelina gets around and rolls her up, ONE! Zoey swings, Zelina ducks ‘n’ dodges to tilt-o-whirl, but Zoey powers Zelina around to head for a corner. Zelina slips free to send Zoey into buckles! Zelina kicks, kicks again, but Zoey blocks! Zoey grabs the bad arm, wrenches and WRINGS it! Zelina writhes but Zoey grabs the arm. Zoey stands on the arm, soaks up the heat, but Zelina avoids the knee drop! Zelina KICKS Zoey, runs, but is sent into ropes! Zelina sputters, and Zoey rains down fists!

The fans boo but Zoey paces around. Zoey drags Zelina up, but Zelina fires forearms. Zoey KNEES low, CLUBS her, then RAMS her into a corner. Zoey RAMS into Zelina again and again, then pulls on the bad arm! Zelina fires shots with her good arm, then BOOTS Zelina away! Zoey runs back in but is sent into buckles! Zelina runs in to METEORA! Zelina goes up and up, but Zoey CLUBS her! Zoey climbs up after Zelina, but Zelina elbows her away! Zelina goes to the very top, but Zoey is right up after her! Zoey grabs the bad arm, to HOTSHOT Zelina down! Zelina falls to the floor and Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Zoey suplexes Zelina, but Zelina cradle counters! TWO!! Zoey gets free, runs up, but into a BOOT! Zelina then sends Zeoy out, but Zoey springboards in to MISSILE DROPKICK! Cover, TWO! Zoey is frustrated but she clamps onto the bad arm for a top wristlock. Zelina endures, even as Zoey leans on the hold. The fans rally, Zelina fights up, and Zelina fires body shots. Zelina arm-drags free, then KICKS! KICKS! And KICKS! Zelina fires off shots, but Zoey blocks one, so Zelina ENZIGIRIS! The fans fire up more as Zelina runs, tilt-o-whirls, and DDTS! Zoey tumbles around and the fans fire up with Zelina!

Zelina goes to a corner, goes up and up, and MOONSAULTS! Cover, TWO! Zoey survives and Zelina is frustrated. Zelina watches Zoey rise, then hops on, but Zoey slips free. SUPERKICK! Cover, TWO! Zelina is tougher than that and Zoey is frustrated. Zoey storms up on Zelina, waistlocks, but Zelina victory rolls Zoey into ropes! The fans fire up but Sonya gets on the apron! The ref stops Sonya but Shayna trips Zelina! No 619 here and the fans boo. But the ref notices something has to be up. But then Lyra, Kayden & Katana run out here to CLOBBER Shayna & Sonya! Zoey sees that, still flits Zelina, but Zelina ROCKS Zoey!

Zelina realizes her arm brace packs a punch! So she ROCKS Zoey again! Then she hops on for CODE RED! Cover, Zelina wins!!

Winner: Zelina Vega, by pinfall

Lyra, Kayden & Katana celebrate with Zelina as she gets even with The Hunter! Will these four stand up against the new bullies on the block?

 

Woods finds Pearce backstage.

Woods knows the GM always has a lot on his plate, people complaining to him every single week, but Woods needs Kross 1v1. Pearce asks if he’s sure. Woods says yes, he can’t drag anyone else into this, he has to do this himself. Pearce says alright, consider it official. Woods thanks Pearce and heads out, but then in steps McIntyre. So Pearce didn’t think to mention Rollins as special guest referee was an important enough detail before McIntyre went out there? Hold on, McIntyre. If you have a problem with this, you shouldn’t have put hands on refs in the first place. But he wanted a match so here’s what Pearce has for him.

McIntyre points out this is Seth Rollins, though! He knows the history between them! And that Rollins and Punk are also “nasty” with each other just for stuff Punk said on the internet. But McIntyre took the world title from Rollins at WrestleMania, how is this fair? Oh, “fair?” Well, they’re all going to be in the ring together next week and we’ll see how fair Rollins is when he gives them his official referee instructions. Now if you’ll excuse Pearce, he needs a drink. Pearce leaves and McIntyre asks what he even means by that. Will The Architect’s plans for SummerSlam be fair to everyone involved? Or will he make some… special adjustments?

 

Backstage interview with Alba Fyre & Isla Dawn.

Jackie Redmond is with the WWE Women’s Tag Team Champions, and knows that later this week, they will appear on SmackDown to properly address the challenge thrown out by Bianca Belair & Jade Cargill. What can we expect this Friday? Oh, they’ll be there to meet the former champions, but they have everything right now. They run this division. Shayna asks if they’re serious right now. She, Sonya & Zoey walk in and say Alba & Isla have been visiting the other show so much that they’re not paying attention. Shayna, Sonya & Zoey have been running things week after week.

Oh, yeah? Even after Zelina just beat Zoey out there? Alba says everyone is running through these three right now. Sonya says Zelina made the biggest mistake of her career, and so did those other girls. Sonya’s trio will handle them later. But what Alba & Isla need to understand is that Bianca & Jade aren’t their biggest threat, Sonya’s trio is. And they’ll be the ones to take those titles off the champs. Isla says they’re more than welcome to try. Oh, they will. See you soon. Sonya leads her team away but the wicked witches don’t sweat them. Will Alba & Isla make all the other teams curse the day they came for the gold?

 

Gunther speaks.

“Respectable champions, impressive legacies, unmatched impact. All living out their dreams, but all weighed down by fragile egos. Fragile egos that have shattered the reputation of the World Heavyweight Championship. All simple men that will shrink in front of a titan. This is why WWE desperately needed me. And this is why the World Heavyweight Championship needs me: to create a new mountain top.” Gunther admits Rollins did a fantastic job elevating this title. But the burden of being the workhorse drove Rollins into the ground. Drew McIntyre was so concerned with an afterthought like CM Punk that he held onto the title for only five minutes!

And now, as Damian Priest honorably carries the weight on his shoulders, his foundation is starting to crack. All his work for this dream will slip away from him. It’s a shame. As Gunther looks around at the cast of challengers, it becomes truly… disgusting. He cannot respect entertainers more concerned with making the crowds sings, or hitting some clever line for the respect of the mindless. None of that means anything once you step into that sacred ring. Gunther is the only one who can redefine the prestige of the World Heavyweight Championship, and bring it to a level no title has seen before.

At SummerSlam, the future of this great sport is on the line. And just like everyone else that said they’d teach Gunther a lesson, Priest will fail. Gunther will showcase the power, dominance and prestige this sport still desperately needs! At SummerSlam, Der Ring General will become Der World Heavyweight Champion! Gunther makes that promise, but will he be able to keep it?

 

Sami Zayn & Jey Uso VS Finn Balor & JD McDonagh w/ Dominik Mysterio & Carlito!

Just as the WWE Intercontinental Champion was worrying about his plans, he came to the rescue of his friend, his “dawg,” Main Event Jey! And now they’re in the main event together, taking on the WWE World Tag Team Champions! Could we see Sami & Jey feeling ucey after tonight? Or will the Judgment Day prove they run Monday Night Raw?

Sami & Jey make their way through the crowded pavilion, and Jey says, “C’mon, Uce!” The fans ‘YEET! YEET! YEET!” as they follow this dynamic duo, and they even hand over some foam YEET hands! The secret handshake returns, and the fans cheer more! Jey says hit his music! “UUUSOOO~!” Jey & Sami then make their entrance down through the bleachers and fans bounce along with the song. Jey even high-fives Pat & Cole before getting in the ring. Will Jey & Sami YEET Judgment Day right outta the building? We’ll see, after the break.

Raw returns and The Judgment Day makes their entrance. The teams sort out and Finn starts against Jey. The fans “YEET!” already as Finn and Jey circle. They feel things out, tie up, and Finn headlocks. Jey endures the grind, powers up and out, but Finn runs him over! Cover, TWO! Finn ELBOWS Jey in the head, brings him around and bumps him off buckles. Finn fires body shots, RAMS into Jey, then tells the ref to back off. Finn whips JEy corner to corner, but Jey goes up and over! Jey UPERPCUTS Finn off his feet! Finn flounders to a corner, Jey says “YEET!” and runs up to ELBOW! And PELE! Finn falls, Jey covers, TWO!

Jey stays cool and he storms up on Finn. Jey brings Finn up, wrenches, and he tags Sami. The fans cheer as Sami goes up to AX HANDLE! Finn clutches his arm, but Sami brings him up and in. Finn RAMS Sami into the corner! Tag to JD and the tag champs mug Sami. The ref counts, the fans sing “OLE~! OLE OLE OLE~!” and JD lets off. JD CLUBS Sami, whips, but Sami goes up and over to LARIAT! The fans fire up, Sami drags JD up and bumps him off buckles. The ref has Sami back off, but then JD YANKS Sami into buckles! The ref reprimands but JD CLUBS Sami down. JD drags Sami up to snapmare and ELBOW him down.

JD soaks up the heat, runs and drops the leg, brother! Cover, ONE!! Sami is tougher than that, but JD sucker punches Jey! The fans boo, but Sami LARIATS JD up and out! Finn runs in but Sami TOSSES him! Sami then goes to the apron and mule kicks each of them, before the ARABIAN PRESS SAULT! Direct hit on Finn & JD and Green Bay fires up! Sami stands tall and storms back over. Dom storms up but Sami backs him off! The ref stops Sami, and he tells Dom to back off. But Carlito POSTS Sami behind the ref’s back! The fans boo but Caribbean Cool gets away with that, and Raw goes to break.

Raw returns again and Finn stomps a mudhole into Sami at the corner. The ref counts, Finn lets off, but JD digs his boot in now! The fans boo, Finn storms back up to jump stomp Sami down! Tag to JD, he drags Sami up but keeps him from Jey. JD reels Sami in for a BIG back suplex! Cover, TWO! The fans rally up for Sami as he reaches out for Jey. JD stomps Sami, stays between him and Jey, then facelocks. Fans “YEET! YEET! YEET!” and Sami fights up! Sami reaches out, Jey reaches out, and Sami back drops JD away! Finn hurries to tag in and CLOBBER Sami! Cover, TWO! Finn rains down fists on Sami while fans boo.

Finn stomps Sami, sits him up and ELBOWS him down! Cover, ONE!! Sami powers up but Finn RAMS him into the corner! Tag to JD and he CHOPS! And CHOPS! But Sami COHSP! And CHOPS! And CHOPS! Then he CHOPS Finn! JD ROCKS Sami, kicks and whips, but Sami KICKS JD! JD wobbles, swings, but into a BLUE THUNDER BOMB! Both men are down and the fans fire up! Sami and JD crawl, hot tags to Finn and Jey! The fans are thunderous as Jey fires haymakers on Finn! “YEET! YEET! YEET!” Jey pops, locks ‘n’ puts some stank on that YEET! Finn staggers, Jey whips, but Finn reverses. Jey dodges to mule kick!

Jey takes off the shirt, and he UPPERCUTS Finn! Finn blocks the kick but not the DRAGON WHIP! Finn goes to a corner, JD runs in! JD blocks a kick but takes a DRAGON WHIP, too! Jey sees Finn and JD in opposite corners, and the fans fire up with “UCE! SO!” HIP ATTACK for JD! HIP- NO, Finn TOSSES Jey out! But Jey GAMANGIRIS! Jey goes up and up and CROSSBODIES Finn! Cover, TWO! Finn is tougher than that but Jey stays cool. The fans rally up, Jey watches Finn flounder, and he runs in, into a KICK! But Jey stops the slingblade! Jey whips, fireman’s carries, but Finn CLAWS eyes to hit the SLINGBLADE! Cover, TWO!

Finn snarls and Dom coaches him. Finn calls to JD, then brings Jey up in the corner. JD stands up, Finn fires body shots then snapmares Jey. Tag to JD and he slingshots to ARABIAN PRESS! Cover, TWO! JD argues with the ref but the ref defends his count. JD stomps Jey’s fingers, then he tags back to Finn. JD throws down hands on Jey, then stands Jey up. Finn climbs, but Jey fights free! Finn leaps, into a SUPERKICK! The fans fire up while both men are down! Sami rises and the fans fire up more! Finn and Jey crawl, hot tags to JD and Sami! The Great Liberator catches the Irish Ace first, for a CORNER EXPLODER!

The fans fire up as Sami aims from across the way! But Carlito gets on the apron! And Dom anchors Sami! The fans boo, Sami gets loose, but JD runs up to hit a SPANISH FLY!! Cover, TWO!! Sami survives and Judgment Day can’t believe it! JD SLAPS Sami, fires more hands, then kicks low. “This is Awesome!” as JD brings Sami up. JD whips, Jey tags in! Sami BOOTS JD, Jey SUPERKICKS! JD sputters, Jey & Sami coordinate! Whip and ONE D!! The fans are thunderous, but Carlito throws Finn in to break the cover! Finn drags Sami up to TOSS him out, then drags JD over so he can tag in. Finn then storms up on Jey, but Jey UPPERCUTS!

Jey fires haymakers, “YEET! YEET! YEET!” JD is up but Jey UPPERCUTS! JD falls, SLINGBLADE from Finn! Finn fires up, aims at Jey from the corner, SHOT- SUPERKICK!! Carlito gets up, Jey DECKS him! Carlito’s apple spit goes flying! Jey DECKS Dom, then runs up on JD! JD HOTSHOTS Jey first! Jey sputters back to his feet, into a SHOTGUN from Finn! Tag to JD then Finn goes up! COUP DE GRACE, followed by a MOONSAULT! Cover, SAMI BREAKS IT!! The fans are thunderous, but Finn TOSSES Sami again! Finn & JD hurry to stand Jey up and put him up top! But Sami gets back in! He goes after Finn & JD!

Sami Electric Chair Lifts but Finn fights free! Finn whips, Sami reverses and TOSESS Finn out! Jey HEADBUTTS JD, Sami HELLVUA KICKS JD down!! Then he FLIJES out onto Finn, Carlito & Dom! Jey USO SPLASHES JD!! Cover, Sami & Jey win!!

Winners: Sami Zayn & Jey Uso, by pinfall

Green Bay celebrates the big win for the dawgs! WAIT! BRON BREAKKER SPEARS SAMI!! Bron runs away, having ruined all the fun! Bron grins, is he going to take the Intercontinental Championship away just as quickly? Or is he just adding fuel to the fire inside of Sami?


My Thoughts:

A great Raw here, but it kinda dragged in the middle. I appreciate them pushing the story of Sheamus, Bronson and Dunne forward, but the No Contest seemed like they were just filling time. That needs to become a Triple Threat already, maybe for the Raw After SummerSlam to help establish a new contender to the Intercontinental Championship. Bron VS Ilja was a great match, but I hope Ilja getting knocked for a loop was kayfabe so that Bron would seem even more dangerous. Of course, Bron added to that with how he had the final say at the end of tonight with that spear on Sami.

Sami and Jey teaming up tonight was a logical move after all they’d been through, and I like that Jey is the new point of dysfunction between the group. Great match in the main event, and great win for Jey & Sami over the tag champs. I feel like Sami is going to lose the Intercontinental Championship to Bron this time, and then maybe Sami & Jey can go after Judgment Day for the tag titles. And as such, Bron VS Sheamus could be the Intercontinental Championship story, though I feel like that keeps Sheamus from finally getting that title because Bron is just nuts and on a powerful push.

Back to Judgment Day, Priest and Gunther had a great promo segment because it almost immediately became an awesome brawling segment that even stretched to the other side of a commercial break. This with Gunther’s promo video later on, there’s some real heat going into that match, and their title match could probably go any which way. With how things are going with Rhea, Dom and Liv, we could also see that Judgment Day split happen at SummerSlam. Sure, Dom finally got the guts to tell Liv off, but that could’ve been because Rhea was right there and he had no choice. And even if Dom is loyal to Mami, JD & Finn could still defect and be on Liv’s side so that they all have belts together.

The Women’s Tag Division story tonight was alright. I figured Sonya was winning again, but I like that Lyra & KC Squared helped Zelina get one over on Zoey. We got a decent promo from Sonya’s group with Alba & Isla, a lot of nothing really when Alba & Isla really are more focused on Bianca & Jade right now. If Sonya’s group got a fourth member (Natalya is still signed, right?), I could see an 8 Woman Tag of Sonya’s team VS Zelina, Lyra, Kayden & Katana. And if they really drag this out, Sonya, Shayna, Zoey and any other two they want (Chelsea & Piper?) could take on five opponents for a Women’s WarGames, or even just a traditional Survivor Series 5v5.

Very good Six Man Tag but I figured The Final Testament would win. Woods VS Kross next week will be a solid 1v1, so long as they make it where it’s only those two out there. You just know Scarlett will help Kross cheat if she’s present, but it’d be more dramatic if it was just Woods and Kross with Kross constantly talking trash on Woods. Meanwhile, great interaction from Gable’s new Alpha Academy with the old one, and of course the Wyatt Sick6 showed up to stop Gable. Great Sister Abigail sidewinder from Bo, and c’mon, there has to be some kind of match for the Raw After SummerSlam or something with this.

And of course, great promo stuff from Punk, McIntyre and Rollins. Rollins being special guest ref instead of a third participant may seem disappointing, but it makes a lot of sense in story because of how McIntyre hates refs, and now he really does have a reason to hate this one because it is Rollins. Rollins might even go out to the ring in the wildest looking referee outfit ever and that alone is something fun to look forward to. With this match and the Intercontinental Championship being added to SummerSlam, that is seven matches, just as I was hoping. If nothing else, the “Big 4” of WWE’s calendar should be the literally bigger events. Give us the major stories, the top titles, and even go over three hours for these events, keep it trim for the others (like MITB or Bad Blood).

My Score: 8.7/10


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Mitchell’s NJPW G1 Climax 34 Results & Report! (7/21/24)

The hot opening weekend continues!

Published

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Who bounces back from opening night?

G1 Climax 34 had some shocking upsets, such as David Finlay losing to Yuya Uemura! Will The Rebel bounce back? Or will he get a Gene Blast from Yota Tsuji?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • G1 Climax 34 A Block: Callum Newman VS SANADA; Sanada wins.
  • G1 Climax 34 B Block: Boltin Oleg VS HENARE; Henare wins.
  • G1 Climax 34 A Block: Great-O-Khan VS Gabe Kidd; Gabe wins.
  • G1 Climax 34 B Block: El Phantasmo VS Ren Narita; Ren wins.
  • G1 Climax 34 A Block: EVIL VS Jake Lee; Evil wins.
  • G1 Climax 34 B Block: Yuya Uemura VS Hirooki Goto; Yuya wins.
  • G1 Climax 34 A Block: Shota Umino VS Shingo Takagi; Shota wins.
  • G1 Climax 34 A Block: Tetsuya Naito VS Zack Sabre Jr; ZSJ wins.
  • G1 Climax 34 B Block: Yota Tsuji VS David Finlay; Yota wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Here are the current A Block standings!

Shingo Takagi: 1-0, 2 points
Zack Sabre Jr: 1-0, 2 points
Evil: 1-0, 2 points
Callum Newman: 1-0, 2 points
Jake Lee: 1-0, 2 points
Tetsuya Naito: 0-1, 0 points
Gabe Kidd: 0-1, 0 points
Great-O-Khan: 0-1, 0 points
Sanada: 0-1, 0 points
Shota Umino: 0-1, 0 points

 

Here are the current B Block standings!

Jeff Cobb: 1-0, 2 points
Yuya Uemura: 1-0, 2 points
Henare: 1-0, 2 points
Konosuke Takeshita: 1-0, 2 points
Boltin Oleg: 1-0, 2 points
David Finlay: 0-1, 0 points
Yota Tsuji: 0-1, 0 points
El Phantasmo: 0-1, 0 points
Hirooki Goto: 0-1, 0 points
Ren Narita: 0-1, 0 points

 

NOTICE:

The round two match of Jeff Cobb VS Konosuke Takeshita will happen on July 23rd.

 

G1 Climax 34 A Block: Callum Newman VS SANADA!

The Prince of Pace came away with a shocker in the opening round, taking down The Roughneck, Shota Umino. However, the Cold Skull took a Face Break Shot from Jake Lee and is looking to redeem himself. Will it be a Skull End for Callum? Or will he keep on building momentum towards the Climax?

The bell rings and the fans rally. The two circle, tie up, and are in a deadlock. Callum uses his height but Sanada uses his bulk, and Sanada powers Callum to ropes. The ref calls the break, and Sanada lets off with pats on the shoulders. The fans cheer and the two reset. Callum and Sanada circle again, feel out a knuckle lock, and then Callum wrenches one to wrangle Sanada. Callum grinds that arm then stands Sanada up to wrench again. Sanada rolls, wrenches and wristlocks back. Callum spins, slips through, and waistlocks. Sanada headlocks, spins and hits the takeover. Callum headscissors, Sanada kips free, and Sanada blocks a kick!

Sanada trips Callum, goes after the other leg, but Callum kicks free. Callum ducks ‘n’ dodges and builds speed to BOOT Sanada down! The fans fire up while Sanada shakes out the stars. Sanada stands, Callum spins but Sanada dodges the kick. Sanada runs in, Callum sends him out, then DROPKICKS him off the apron! The fans fire up again and Callum goes to the corner. Callum goes up and ASAI MOONSAULTS, but Sanada moves! Callum is right up, he fireman’s carries Sanada, but Sanada slips free to hoist Callum up onto railing! MAGIC SCREW to the floor! The fans cheer while Callum curses in pain.

Sanada drags Callum up, fireman’s carries him, and he brings Callum around to SNAKE EYES off railing! Callum falls back and sputters while Sanada paces. The ring count starts, Sanada drags Callum up and around to put him into the ring. The fans cheer, Sanada stalks Callum, and Sanada CLUBS Callum on the neck. Callum staggers to ropes, Sanada follows him to CLUB him again. Sanada brings Callum up and into a clinch for the RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP! Callum writhes, Sanada covers, TWO! The fans applaud, but Sanada clamps on with a chinlock. Callum endures the squeeze, and Sanada leans on the hold.

Callum fights up as fans rally, and he throws body shots. Callum gets free but Sanada CLUBS him again! Sanada whips, Callum slides to trip and DOUBLE STOMP him! The fans cheer while both men are down. Callum rises while Sanada writhes. Sanada crawls to ropes, then to a corner. Callum runs in to UPPERCUT, then snapmare and PENALTY KICK! Cover, TWO! The fans cheer and Callum fires himself up. The fans clap along as he huffs ‘n’ puffs and brings Sanada up. Callum chicken wings but Sanada fights the lift! Callum CLUBS Sanada, tries again, but Sanad arm-drags free! Sanada blocks a kick, flips Callum, and hoists him up again! MAGIC SCREW!

Callum writhes and the fans rally up while both men are down. Sanada kips up and the fans fire up as he eggs Callum on. Callum sits up, into the SHINING WIZARD! Callum is in the drop zone and Sanada goes up, ROUNDING BODY- NO, Sanada has to land out as Callum moves! Callum runs up to BUSAIKU KNEE! The fans fire up and Callum goes back to the corner. Callum watches as Sanada slowly rises, and he runs in Around the World to DROPKICK! Sanada staggers, Callum goes up and up and- NO, Sanada avoids the stomps! But Callum avoids the Shining Wizard! Sanada avoids the screw kick to tilt-o-whirl and SKULL END!

But Callum spins through! Sanada suplexes him, but Callum STUN DOG MILLIONAIRES! OSC- NO, Sanada gets under! Callum dodges a lariat to DREAMCAST KICK! And OSCU- NO, Sanada catches Callum, spins him around, and DEADFALL!! Cover, Sanada wins!

Winner: Sanada, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Callum earns 0)

The Prince of Pace tried to speed past Sanada, but he was brought to a screeching halt! Will Callum just have to go even faster next round to make up for it? Will Sanada turn this first win into the first of many?

 

G1 Climax 34 B Block: Boltin Oleg VS HENARE!

The Kazakh Juggernaut also had a shocker in the opening round, bulldozing right through the Souled Out Ren Narita. But the Face of Fury is himself big, strong and undaunting. Will the NEVER Openweight Champion trump this NEVER Openweight Six Man Tag Champion? Or will Oleg continue to shock the world with upset victories?

The bell rings and the fans rally as the two stare down. Henare fires himself up and the two circle. They tie up, are in a deadlock, and then break. The fans applaud as the two reset and go again. They tie up, and Oleg brings Henare to a knee! Henare powers up, breaks the collar ‘n’ elbow, and then fires a forearm! Oleg fires back, and the fans rally as they go forearm for forearm. Henare fires off a flurry but Oleg answers in kind! Henare ROCKS Oleg, runs, and RAMS Oleg! Oleg stays up, they RAM shoulders again, and again, and again! They go forehead to forehead, then they both run ropes, and Oleg CLOBBERS Henare!

The fans fire up while Henare bails out! Henare fumes but Oleg waits on him. Henare storms back in, Oleg kicks and fires forearms. Oleg whips corner to corner, runs in and STINGER SPLASHES! Oleg keeps moving and he runs Henare over! Oleg runs to SPLASH down! Cover, TWO! The fans fire up and Oleg deadlift gut wrenches! Henare fights free, HEADBUTTS and ROCKS Oleg! Oleg kicks low and has Henare in the corner. Oleg goes corner to corner again but Henare dodges the splash! Henare KICKS Oleg’s leg, KICKS it again, and KICKS it again! Oleg knees, Henare runs to RUGBY KICK! The fans fire up while Oleg is down!

Henare snarls and he storms over to Oleg. Henare drags Oleg up, ROCKS him, then ROCKS him again. Henare fires forearms in the corner but Oleg comes back with forearms of his own! Henare eggs Oleg on, Oleg fires more shots, but then Henare fires off a strike fest! Henare HEADBUTTS Oleg, then snapmares him down. Henare KICKS Oleg in the back! The fans rally while Oleg grits his teeth, so Henare KICKS him again! Henare storms around while Oleg stays seated up. Henare KICKS Oleg down, then SENTONS! Cover, TWO! The fans fire up as Oleg toughs it out, but Henare stalks him to the ropes.

Henare CLUBS Oleg, whips him to the corner, then brings down the kneepad! Henare runs in, but Oleg catches him! RUNNING POWERSLAM! The fans fire up while both men are down, and Henare goes to a corner. Oleg throws off his elbow pads while the fans rally up. Oleg ROCKS Henare, stomps him in the corner, then scoops him to SLAM him into the drop zone. Oleg goes up and up and VADER BOMBS! Cover, TWO! Henare stays in this but he gasps for air. Oleg deadlifts him into the Shake, Rattle and THROW! Oleg kips up and the fans fire up! Oleg drags Henare up, fireman’s carries, but Henare fights free with elbows!

Oleg runs back in but Henare ELBOWS again! FLYING CHUCK! Both men are down and the fans fire up again! Henare grits his teeth while he watches Oleg crawl. Henare runs in at the corner, JUMP KNEE! Snapmare and Henare roars! Henare stomps the mat as Oleg rises. RAMP- SHOTGUN from Oleg!! The fans are thunderous as both men rise. RAMP- Fireman’s carry!! KAMIKAZE SENTON!! Cover, TWO!! Henare survives but Oleg roars! Oleg fireman’s carries again, but Henare fights free! Full nelson! Oleg fights off Ultima and the fans rally up! Henare HEADBUTTS Oleg in the back, and goes for the Ultima again!

Oleg powers up and out! He ROCKS Henare, ROCKS him again, but Henare roars! Oleg CHOPS, Henare HEEL KICKS! Henare runs in to JUMPING HEADBUTT!! The fans are thunderous as Henare suplexes Oleg into STREETS OF RAGE!! Cover, Henare wins!

Winner: Henare, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Oleg earns 0)

Definitely a fight worthy of the NEVER Division, but the Face of Fury proved why he’s THE NEVER Champion! The first man to 2-0, will nothing stop Henare from conquering the G1? Or can Oleg shrug off this defeat to heat back up before the Climax?

 

G1 Climax 34 A Block: Great-O-Khan VS Gabe Kidd!

The KOPW Champion and the NJPW Strong Openweight Champion both suffered defeats in the opening round, but only one of them got cheated. Will the Dominator show he can still unite “the fiefdoms” under the United Empire? Or will this #WarReady War Dog prove he’s still NJPW Strong?

The bell rings and the two feel things out. The fans rally and duel as the two circle around. Gabe smirks, taunts Khan with a relaxed pose, but then avoids Khan as he goes for legs. They keep going around, and then Gabe SLAPS, SLAPS and SLAPS! Khan just gets up and under Gabe to URENAGE! The fans fire up while Gabe flounders. Gabe and Khan clinch, fight for control, and Khan hits the BELLY2BELLY! The fans fire up again and Khan runs up to LARIAT Gabe up and out! Gabe flounders on the floor, the fans duel, and Khan goes out after Gabe. Khan whips Gabe hard into railing, then Khan opens the gate.

The fans cheer and Khan dares Gabe to come get him. Gabe frowns, runs up, and he RAMS Khan into railing! The Young Lions hurry over to clear out fans, and Khan laughs as he stands. Gabe and Khan fire forearms and move through the crowd. Khan drags Gabe up to fire more shots but Gabe gives those back! Gabe flounders over chairs, Khan CLUBS him, and the fight keeps moving through the crowd. Khan Mongolian Chops Gabe down! The fans cheer as Khan Mongolian Chops again! Khan AX HANDLES Gabe into moving along and Gabe calls for the ref. Khan stomps Gabe around, then drags him up. Gabe UPPERCUTS Khan!

Khan falls over, Gabe tells the ref to get in the ring to count. Gabe fires forearms, then he BITES Khan on the top of his head! Gabe then throws Khan down into the chairs while fans are torn. The ref finally starts the ring count and Gabe paces around. Gabe talks trash then goes back for Khan. Gabe drags Khan up by his ponytail as we pass 10 of 20. Gabe drags Khan along, then runs him up to POST him! Khan falls over, the count is 13, but Gabe puts Khan in at 15. The fans cheer and Gabe storms around. Gabe kicks railing just to get at Hiromu on commentary. Gabe even throws Hiromu’s bottle of water away!

Hiromu asks what the heck and Gabe says he doesn’t care if Hiromu’s a Junior Heavyweight, Gabe’s the NJPW Strong Openweight Champion, so come find him in the US. Gabe then leaves Hiromu behind to slide into the ring. Khan drags himself up with the ropes but Gabe is right on him with a CHOP! And CHOP! And CHOP! Then a LARIAT! Gabe runs and he runs Khan over! The fans are torn while Gabe dusts himself off. But Khan is up to lift and TOSS Gabe out of the ring! Gabe tumbles to the floor, Khan pounds the mat, and the fans rally up. Khan aims and PLANCHAS onto Gabe! The fans fire up while both men are down!

Khan rises, shakes the railing and he roars! The fans fire up and Khan looms over Gabe. Khan drags Gabe around, goes back out through the gate, and Young Lions hurry to get fans out of the way! Khan aims, and he BOWLS Gabe through railing and into the chairs! That’s a STRIKE to be sure! The fans fire up as Khan flexes, then Khan fetches Gabe. Khan laces Gabe’s arm through a chair and pulls! Gabe shouts and the ref reprimands, but then Khan sandwiches arm through chairs! Khan then traps the other arm in another pair of chairs! Gabe shouts for the ref but Khan steps up onto the chairs to pose for the peasants!

Gabe protests, so Khan hops down and BOOTS him! Khan drags Gabe up while the ring count starts. Khan brings Gabe back to ringside, wrenches his arm, and pushes Gabe into the ring. The fans cheer, Khan covers, TWO! Khan grabs Gabe’s leg for a HEEL HOOK! Gabe kicks with his free leg and Khan lets go. Khan eggs Gabe on, Gabe stands but Khan RAMS into him! Gabe fights off the takedown, CLUBS away on Khan, then suplexes him up and out of the ring! Gabe goes with Khan and the fans can’t believe it! The ref checks both men after that wild tumble. Khan clutches his back and Gabe’s in a daze but both men seem to be okay to continue.

The ring count returns, and Khan flounders for the railing. Gabe slowly sits up, but both men are still crawling as we reach 10 of 20. They go forehead to forehead, then stand to go forearm for forearm! Khan ROCKS Gabe, Gabe staggers towards the ramp, but Gabe ROCKS Khan back! The count is 15! The forearms keep going, the fans rally up, and we hit 17! 18! They hear 19 and sprint back to the ring! They both slide in safe at 19.9! Then Gabe takes a swing, into a GERMAN SUPLEX! Khan runs up, Gabe gets around to GERMAN SUPLEX! Both men rise, Gabe runs the ropes, COMEBACKER- FGO PLEX!! Cover, TWO!!

Gabe survives but Khan powers up! IRON CLAW, and then Khan drags Gabe up! ELIMI- NO, Gabe BITES those fingers! And LARIATS! Cover, ONE!?! Gabe is shocked, the fans fire up, and Gabe UPPERCUTS! Gabe reels Khan in, “I’m a Mad Man, y’know!” But Khan back drops free! The fans fire up while both men are down again! Khan stirs, Gabe sits up, and they both rise up. Gabe says stand up! Khan does stand, and Gabe CHOPS! And HEADBUTTS! Gabe says F U, Oka! Khan IRON RIGHTS! Both men wobble and stagger around, and Gabe leans on ropes. Gabe snarls, so does Khan. They run, they dodge, and the COMEBACKER hits!! Cover, GABE WINS!

Winner: Gabe Kidd, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Khan earns 0)

In a battle of wild men, The NJPW Strong Openweight Champion takes down The KOPW Champion! Will Gabe look to add even more gold now that he has this golden ticket? Is there still hope for Khan to make a comeback?

 

G1 Climax 34 B Block: El Phantasmo w/ Jado VS Ren Narita!

The Headbanga lost to Henare, and the Souled Out Son of Strong Style lost to Boltin Oleg, so at least now they’re picking on someone their own size. Will ELP tune up the band and get back on track? Or will Narita find a way to stack the deck?

The bell rings and Ren runs up to BOOT ELP in the corner! Ren CLUBS ELP, stomps him, and Jado coaches ELP up. Ren knees low, runs, but ELP hurdles, drops down then DROPKICKS! The fans fire up while Ren writhes. ELP stands Ren up to CHOP him, ROCK him, and CHOP him again. ELP puts Ren’s shirt up over his head, to then CHOP! Ren staggers, ELP knuckle locks and goes up, up and jumps around, to FLYING RANA! Ren tumbles away and ELP kips up. The fans fire up and ELP runs to LARIAT Ren up and out! Ren flounders and fans fire up more as ELP aims. PLANCHA! Down goes Ren and the fans cheer again!

ELP drags Ren up, puts him in the ring, then ELP climbs up a corner. But Ren rolls away, and fans boo as he bails out the other side. ELP hops down, to DIVE! Direct hit again and Ren is sent into railing! The fans fire up and ELP says one more thing! ELP CLUBS Ren, goes up the corner, and he ARIHARA MOONSAULTS but Ren moves! ELP tumbles, Ren drags him up to whip him hard into railing! The fans boo but Ren hooks ELP’s leg in railing and BOOTS it! The ref reprimands but Ren grins as he goes for his push-up bar! But Jado rushes up and snatches that away! The fans cheer but Ren is mad!

The ref wants Jado to let the push-up bar go, but he misses Ren grab a chair to SMASH ELP’s leg! The fans boo as Ren hides the evidence. Ren eggs ELP on, laughs at him, then grabs ELP’s leg to SMASH it on the floor! ELP writhes and clutches the knee, but Ren stalks him around the way. ELP hobbles, falls over, and Ren drags him back up. Ren pushes ELP into the ring, then stands on ELP for a cocky cover. ONE, and ELP grabs the ropes. Ren stomps away on ELP’s leg, lets off as the ref reprimands, but then Ren stands on the leg! The ref reprimands, Ren acts like he has no idea what’s going on, then “realizes” and steps away.

Ren looms over ELP, drags him up, and grabs the leg for a SHIN BREAKER! ELP falls and flounders away, but Ren is on him again. Ren puts the bad leg on the ropes, to HIP DROP onto it! The ref reprimands and ELP clutches the knee, but Ren drags ELP around again. Ren has a standing toehold but ELP kicks with his free leg. Ren lets go, the fans rally up, and ELP tries to storm up on Ren, but the leg gives out! ELP falls over and Ren slaps him around. Ren talks trash as ELP limps to a corner. Ren eggs ELP on, but ELP fires forearms! Ren CLAWS ELP’s eyes! The ref reprimands, Ren stops, and Jado coaches ELP.

Ren drags ELP up, reels him in, but ELP suplexes first! The fans fire up as ELP brings Ren down! Ren goes to ropes, and ELP kips up! Well, not the best with only the one leg, but ELP goes to a corner. Ren storms up but ELP ROCKS him first! ELP counter punches Ren again and again, fires more shots, then whips Ren to the corner. Ren reverses but ELP goes up and over, even with one leg! ELP rolls, eggs Ren on, then dodges him to springboard and CROSSBODY! Somersault, but the bad leg holds ELP back! ELP still LIONSAULTS, but he has to land out as Ren moves! Ren bails out, ELP somersaults back to ropes to then go to the apron!

ELP TORNADO DDTS Ren to the floor! The fans fire up while Ren writhes and kicks around in pain. The fans rally behind ELP as he drags himself up with railing. The ring count starts, ELP drags Ren up and into the ring. The fans applaud, and ELP climbs up the ropes! SPRINGBOARD SWANTON BOMB! And now the LIONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Ren survives but the fans fire up again! ELP goes back to a corner while Ren crawls to the other. ELP tunes up the band, even with the bad leg. Ren runs up and BOOTS ELP! Ren reels ELP in for a NORTHERN LIGHTS! Bridging cover, TWO! Ren hurries to step through, KNEEBAR!!

ELP endures as Ren pulls on that leg! ELP reaches out, fights forward, and has the ROPEBREAK, only for Ren to drag him back! Ren shifts around to a HALF CRAB! ELP endures, the fans rally for him, and ELP fights his way over! ELP reaches out, for the ROPEBREAK! Ren lets go this time while the fans applaud. Ren drags ELP up, but ELP CHOPS! Ren shrugs that off, but ELP stands. ELP fires a forearm, but Ren laughs that off! Ren eggs ELP on, but ELP stands to fire forearm after forearm! Ren gets mad and he kicks the bad leg out! ELP falls back, Ren talks trash, and then Ren looms over ELP.

ELP rises up to CHOP! Ren still laughs, and ELP hobbles up to his feet. ELP fires another forearm! Ren felt that one, so he kicks the bad leg again. Ren still toys with ELP, taunts him, daring him to high-five like he used to do with Hikuleo. ELP scowls, gets up and he RAMS Ren into a corner! ELP fires off furious fists and even stomps a mudhole in! The fans cheer but the ref reprimands! ELP grabs Ren’s push-up bar! Jado says no, ELP, don’t do it! But Ren dares ELP to do it! Give into your anger, ELP, and be like Ren! No, ELP gives the bar to Jado! So Ren shoves ELP into Jado! Backslide, TWO!

Ren knees low, reels ELP in, but ELP handstands out of the Double Crosser! And jackknife bridges! TWO!! Ren escapes, then he dodges ELP to KNEE STOMP! Cover, TWO!! ELP survives “Hell’s Guillotine,” and the fans fire up! Ren vows to end this, though, and he goes up the corner. But ELP trips Ren up! ELP CHOPS Ren, climbs up after him, and brings Ren to the top rope! ELP hits a SUPER DUPER STEINER!! Then he goes right up for THUNDERKISS 86!! Cover, TWO!!! Ren survives and the fans are thunderous! ELP is beside himself, but the fans are behind him! ELP feels that energy and he goes to the corner.

Ren is grabbing at the ref, though! The ref reprimands, ELP gives up on tuning up so he can separate Ren and ref. Ren CHOP BLOCKS ELP! And KNEES ELP, into the DOUBLE CROSSER!! Cover, Ren wins!

Winner: Ren Narita, by pinfall (gains 2 points; ELP earns 0)

The Souled Out Son of Strong Style can be a real SOB sometimes, and that includes this moment here! Ren grins as he snatches this win away, but will he do even worse on his way to the Climax? As for ELP, he continues to lose because he feels lost, what is he to do to find himself again?

 

G1 Climax 34 A Block: EVIL w/ Dick Togo VS Jake Lee!

The King of Darkness took down the Mad Man, but the Madness Dark Side outshined the Cold Skull. It is another battle of House of Torture and War Dogs, which side of Bullet Club proves to be the Strongest of the Summer?

Speaking of Bullet Club, Evil & Dick want to welcome Jake to the club with a Too Sweet. Jake steps forward, throws up the Too Sweet, but then he grabs Dick’s arm, anticipating the eye poke! Then he Too Sweet eye pokes Evil and Dick in return! The fans cheer, Jake TOSSES Evil, and he goes after Dick! Jake grins as he teases stomping Dick in his namesake, then he shoves Dick out of the ring. The fans cheer more but Evil is furious! Evil runs in, but Jake kicks him first! The bell rings and Jake CLUBS Evil. Jake whips and ELBOWS Evil down, then drags him up with a choke grip! Evil scrambles to the ROPEBREAK!

The ref counts, Jake lets go of Evil at 4, and Evil sputters as he bails out. Jake apologizes to the ref, and even bows, but they both miss Evil untying the blue buckle pad! Jake steps out to fetch Evil and CLUB him again. Dick creeps up  with a chair, but Jake glares at him. Dick backs up and drops the chair, but Evil CLUBS Jake in the back! Evil then whips Jake hard into railing! Jake falls and writhes, Evil talks trash and drags him up. Evil tells the ref to leave him alone, and then he whips Jake into more railing! Jake falls back, and Evil steals the mic from Abe-san! Evil uses the cord to CHOKE Jake, and he talks smack on Jake the whole time!

The ref reprimands, the fans boo, but Evil talks trash some more before he lets go. Jake sputters, Evil leaves him behind, and the ref gives Abe-san the mic back. Evil wants the count but Jake is already standing. Jake slides in at 4 of 20, and the ref spots Evil armed his House of Torture shirt. The ref confiscates the shirt, but surprise! Evil had a tag rope all along! Evil CHOKES Jake with that now! The fans boo but Evil throws the evidence away. The ref sees it, though! The ref reprimands as the damage is done, and Evil CLUBS Jake. Evil CLUBS Jake again, then covers, TWO! Jake is tougher than that and the fans applaud.

Evil kicks Jake around, CLUBS him down, but Jake snarls. Evil slaps Jake around, but Jake shoves him. Jake’s taller, and he fires forearms down on Evil! Jake runs, but Evil distracts the ref so Dick can trip Jake up! The fans boo but Dick blames a Young Lion! The Young Lion says he wasn’t even near the ring! Evil talks trash and stomps Jake around again. Evil mocks Jake’s gentlemanly bow, then he drags Jake up. Evil wrenches Jake’s arm, kicks his leg, and wrenches again. Evil kicks, wrenches, repeat, then he whips corner to corner! Evil runs up to LARIAT, then he FISHERMAN BUSTERS! Cover, TWO!

Evil is frustrated but he steps through Jake’s legs and turns him for a SHARPSHOOTER! The fans rally as Jake endures, but Evil sits deep on the hold! Jake fights up, pushes and hops his way over, and has the ROPEBREAK! The ref counts, Evil lets go at 4, and the fans continue to rally for Jake. Evil paces, talks trash on the fans, but the fans boo back. Evil gets on the corner to taunt them back, then stalks Jake. Evil fireman’s carries but Jake fights it! Jake CLUBS away on Evil’s back! Evil throws a body shot, runs, but Jake fakes him out! Evil still kicks low, but Jake whips Evil to KNEE low! Evil falls over and fans cheer.

Jake looms over Evil as Evil coughs and sputters. Jake drags Evil up, snapmares him then runs to fake the Penalty Kick, and clamp on a SLEEPER! Evil endures but Jake drags him up to his feet! Dick gets on the apron, so Jake lets Evil go to DECK Dick! Jake drags Evil around to turn him, but Evil resists! So Jake STOMPS Evil’s stomach! Then Jake turns Evil for the BOSTON CRAB! Jake stands tall with it, it’s almost a Walls of Jericho! Evil endures, the bell rings!? That was Dick’s doing! Jake thinks he won, though, and he lets Evil go! The ref explains, because it was Dick! Evil winds up to run in, but Jake dodges! Evil runs into the ref!

Evil now begs for mercy, but Dick gets in! Dick kicks Jake in the leg, then wraps on the SPOILER CHOKER! But Jake powers out! Jake dodges Evil, and uses the SPOILER CHOKER! The fans cheer as Evil tastes his own medicine! Then Jake lets Evil go, gives him the choker, and falls on the floor! Jake’s pulling an Eddie Guerrero and the fans cheer! The ref spots Evil with the weapon, and Evil defends his innocence! And for once, it’s true! Sorta. Jake plays like he’s hurt, then he reels Evil in! BIG back suplex! Cover, TWO!! Evil survives but Jake stays cool. Jake raises his hand and the fans rally. Evil rises, and Jake choke grips! Evil CLAWS Jake’s eyes!

The ref reprimands, Evil lets off and he reels Jake in, EVERY- NO, Jake slips free and KNEES Evil low! Choke grip, CHOKE SLAM! Cover, TWO!! Evil survives again and Jake’s eyes are still stinging. The fans rally up, Evil crawls away while the ref checks Jake’s face. Jake goes to the other corner, he staggers up, and he takes aim! Jake runs in, but Evil moves! The buckle pad goes with him, and Jake runs into the bare steel! Evil throws the pad to the ref, Dick throws POCKET SAND in Jake’s face!! Jake staggers away, EVERYTHING IS EVIL!! Cover, Evil wins!

Winner: Evil, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Jake earns 0)

Another match, another underhanded way of winning for The King of Darkness! Will nothing stop him until everything is truly Evil?

 

G1 Climax 34 B Block: Yuya Uemura VS Hirooki Goto!

The Heat Storm burned The Rebel while the Fierce Warrior took a Tour of the Islands, but this G1 has only just begun. Will Yuya add this highly decorated icon to the list? Or will Goto do as Yoshi-Hashi says and #TurnItAllAround?

The bell rings and the fans rally as the two stare down. Goto and Yuya slowly circle, feel things out, and knuckle lock. Yuya shoots for a leg but Goto slips around to waistlock. Yuya switches, Goto slips away and the fans cheer. The two reset, circle again, and tie up collar ‘n’ elbow. They’re in a deadlock, but Goto slips around to waistlock. Yuya pries the hold open and wrenches to a wristlock. Goto rolls, trips Yuya, and has the toehold. Yuya fights back with a chinlock but Goto pulls on the foot. Yuya uses his other leg to bring Goto into short arm scissors! Goto endures, even as Yuya pushes up, and Goto moves around.

Goto slips free, headlocks, but Yuya headscissors. Goto kips free, the two stand off and the fans cheer again. They reset, circle, and tie up again. Goto headlocks, grinds Yuya down, but Yuya fights up. Yuya pries at the headlock, but Goto powers it back on! The fans rally, Goto grinds, but Yuya powers up and out. Goto runs Yuya over! The fans cheer, Goto keeps moving, but Yuya drops down to DROPKICK! Yuya fires up and the fans are with him! Yuya paces around Goto, the fans rally up, and Yuya stands Goto up. Yuya CHOPS Goto to the corner! And CHOPS again! And CHOPS again! And CHOPS again!

Yuya fires CHOP after CHOP, but the ref has him back off! Goto eggs Yuya on so Yuya runs up to BOOT him! Yuya CHOPS, CHOPS and CHOPS! The fans fire up but the ref reprimands. Yuya clinches but Goto stops the hip toss to throw Yuya down by his hair! Goto KICKS Yuya, snapmares him, then KICKS him again! Goto stomps Yuya around, the fans rally, and Goto drags Yuya back up. Goto bumps Yuya off buckles, stomps a mudhole in, then KICKS Yuya down! The ref reprimands but Goto digs his boot in! The ref counts, Goto lets off at 4, and then he rains down forearms! The ref reprimands again but Goto throws more shots!

The ref has Goto stop with the forearms, but Goto digs his knee in. Yuya throws hands from below, but Goto stomps Yuya. Goto then drags Yuya out of the corner, whips him corner to corner, and runs in to MURAMASA! And then SAIDO! Cover, TWO! Yuya stays in this but Goto stays on him with a BOSTON CRAB! The fans rally while Yuya endures! Goto sits deep on the hold, almost making Yuya’s feet reach his head! Yuya still powers up and pushes his way forward! The fans rally harder, but Goto pulls on the legs harder! Yuya still endures, still pushes up, and still claws his way to the ROPEBREAK!

The fans cheer, the ref counts, and Goto lets go at 4. Goto stomps Yuya around, drags him up, and CLUBS him. Goto fireman’s carries, but Yuya fights free! Goto elbows Yuya, whips him to a corner, but Yuya goes up and over to arm-drag! Yuya then DROPKICKS! The fans fire up while both men are down. Yuya rises up first, storms over to Goto, and he CHOPS! And CHOPS! And CHOPS! Yuya whips corner to corner, runs in and CHOPS again! The fans fire up as Yuya then reels Goto in for a BIG back suplex! Cover, TWO! Goto stays in this but Yuya stays focused. The fans rally, and Yuya climbs, only for Goto to ROCK him first!

Goto climbs up after Yuya, CLUBS away on Yuya, and fires off forearms! Goto brings Yuya up but Yuya fires body shot after body shot! Yuya and Goto fire forearms back and forth, then Yuya HEADBUTTS! Goto falls back, Yuya adjusts, and Yuya leaps, but Goto gets under! Yuya comes back, kicks low, but runs into a fireman’s carry! USHIGOROSHI! But Goto can’t make the cover! The fans fire up while both men are down again! Goto grits his teeth as he rises up, and he brings Yuya around to fire a forearm! Yuya sits up, but Goto fires another forearm! Yuya fires a forearm in return! So Goto fires another!

The two stand, Yuya fires another forearm, so Goto CHOPS! Yuya CHOPS, Goto CHOPS, repeat! The fans rally as the CHOPS go back and forth, faster and faster! Yuya gets the edge as he CHOPS high, and CHOPS again! Goto sputters, Yuya DOUBLE CHOPS him! Goto drops to his knees at the 10 minute mark, but Yuya stands him up. DOUBLE CHOP, DOUBLE CHOP, and DOUBLE CHOP! Yuya runs, but into the clinch! URA G T R! Goto runs to LARIAT!! The fans are thunderous, and now Goto drags Yuya up! Fireman’s carry, G T W!! Cover, TWO! Yuya survives but Goto won’t let up! Goto drags Yuya up and KICKS him!

Yuya flops over, but Goto drags him up again. Goto KICKS and KICKS and KICKS! Yuya flops back down and the fans rally up harder! Goto drags Yuya up, fires forearms and then powers up, but Yuya BLOCKS the buzzsaw! Yuya rises, Goto fires palm strike after palm strike! Yuya HEADBUTTS Goto down!! The fans are thunderous, Yuya hauls Goto up and traps one arm. Yuya traps the other, but Goto HEADBUTTS! Yuya ENZIGIRIS, but Goto fireman’s carries! Goto throws Yuya into the dragon sleeper, for the G T- NO! Yuya blocks the arm and spins Goto around to a backslide! TWO!! Goto escapes, but Yuya has the arms! DEADBOLT!! Bridging cover, YUYA WINS!!

Winner: Yuya Uemura, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Goto earns 0)

Two rounds, two shockers for the Heat Storm! Is this a sign that Yuya could be the diamond in the rough for NJPW? As for Goto, he’s 0-2, will things be much more dire in the next round?

 

G1 Climax 34 A Block: Shota Umino VS Shingo Takagi!

The Roughneck seeks redemption after falling to Callum Newman, but the Rampaging Dragon wants to keep his roll going after defeating IWGP World Heavyweight Champion, Tetsuya Naito in last night’s main event. Will #SHOOTER fall again? Or will he keep Takagi from soaring higher than ever before?

The bell rings and Shota runs up to SHOTGUN Takagi! Shota fires forearms in the corner, the ref counts, but Shota just keeps firing shots! Takagi gets mad and turns things around on Shota! The fans fire up as Takagi HEADBUTTS Shota again and again and again! The ref wants Takagi to stop but Takagi shoves him aside to stomp Shota! Takagi knees Shota, whips him to ropes, and KNEES him again! Takagi keeps moving but Shota DROPKICKS him down! The fans fire up and Shota watches Takagi go to ropes. Shota slingshots but Takagi moves! Takagi HOTSHOTS Shota, ridge hand chops, then goes to the apron.

The fans fire up as Takagi CLUBS Shota on the back. Takagi reels Shota in but Shota grabs ropes to fight the lift! Shota then CLUBS Takagi! Takagi body shots Shota, kicks him and CLUBS him, then reels him back in. APRON BACK SUPLEX! Shota has a rough landing but Takagi shoves him off the apron. The fans fire up with Takagi but the ref checks Shota. Shota is somehow still in this so Takagi drags him up. Takagi whips Shota hard into railing! Shota hobbles away and Takagi goes into the ring. The ring count starts, the fans rally, and Shota grits his teeth. Shota rises up at 10 of 20 to roll in, but Takagi is right on him!

Takagi stands on Shota’s back at the ropes, but lets off as the ref counts. Takagi then stomps away, but the ref reprimands. Shota sits up, and Takagi clamps on a chinlock. Takagi then shifts to pull Shota’s arms into a motorcycle stretch. Shota still endures and the fans rally up. Shota reaches out and has the ROPEBREAK. Takagi KNEES Shota in the back as he lets off. A fan cheers Takagi and Takagi says, “Iine! <Nice!>” The fans applaud and Takagi stalks Shota to a corner. Takagi CHOPS, JABS, and repeat, then he brings Shota out to suplex high and hard! The fans cheer more and Takagi gives a thumbs up.

Takagi pushes Shota down to SENTON! Takagi talks a little smack, then has the fans rally up. Shota copies Takagi  by saying, “Mada mada! <I’m not done yet!>” Takagi clamps onto Shota with a chinlock and stretches him back. Takagi HIP DROPS, then talks some smack on Shota. Shota crawls, Takagi KNEES him. Shota eggs Takagi on but Takagi gives it back. Shota stands up and gives back that trash talk! Shota fires a forearm, but Takagi shakes his head. Shota fires another, but Takagi shakes his head again. Shota ROCKS Takagi, but Takagi blocks the scoop! Takagi CLUBS Shota, but Shota spins Takagi for a NECKBREAKER!

The fans rally as Shota sits up. Shota grits his teeth, storms over to Takagi, and UPPERCUTS! And UPPERCUTS! And UPPERCUTS again! Shota UPPERCUTS Takagi in the corner, whips him corner to corner, then runs in to UPPERCUT again! Then FISHERMAN SUPLEX! Bridging cover, TWO! Shota isn’t quite perfect but he isn’t deterred. The fans rally as Shota paces around. Shota brings Takagi up, but Takagi fights the clinch! Takagi throws elbows, but Shota swings, only for Takagi to get around! Atomic drop! Shota staggers, Takagi winds up, and Takagi runs in, only for Shota to drop toehold him onto ropes!

Shota then fires up and runs up to slingshot and APRON DDT! The fans fire up with Shota as he shouts! Takagi flops to the floor, the ring count starts, but Shota takes a moment to catch his breath. Shota stalks Takagi as we reach 7 of 20. Shota stands Takagi up at 10, puts him in at 11, and the fans cheer. Shota goes up a corner, and goes COAST2COAST! Then EXPLODER! Cover, TWO! Takagi is still in this and the fans rally up again. Shota goes to a corner and eggs Takagi on. Takagi rises, Shota runs in and dodges a lariat! Shota kicks low, TORNADO- NO, Takagi stops the DDT to suplex Shota into buckles!

The fans cheer while Shota is stuck upside-down in the corner. Takagi stands while Shota flops around. Takagi stomps Shota, drags him up, and then reels Shota in. Shota CLUBS away on Takagi, but Takagi ROCKS Shota in the back! Shota gets mad, but he runs into an ELBOW! JAB! YUKON feint and DDT! The fans fire up and Takagi signals  that he’s too smart for Shota. Takagi then tells Osaka, “TOKI GA KITA! <It’s time!>” The fans join in with “OI! OI! OI!” just like last night. Shota stands, Takagi runs up, but Shota boots! Takagi blocks and LARIATS through! The fans fire up with Takagi more as he reels Shota in.

But Shota fights the suplex to suplex Takagi! Shota puts Takagi up top, UPPERCUTS, and then climbs up after Takagi. Shota clinches, for a SUPER EXPLODER!! Takagi writhes and Shota fires back up! The fans rally and he aims, only for Takagi to CORNER LARIAT! Takagi evens things in an instant and the fans fire back up! Takagi points to the sky and he brings Shota to the top rope. Takagi then climbs right up after Shota, goes to the very top, and SUPER DUPER PLEXES!! Shota writhes now and the fans are thunderous! Takagi crawls his way over to Shota to sit him up. Takagi runs, SLIDING LARIAT! Cover, TWO! SENTON!

Takagi grins and flexes, reminding us that he’s the “liveliest old man” in NJPW today. Takagi wants the ref to call it as Shota writhes, but Shota refuses to let this end here. Shota grits his teeth, sits up, and seems to have a wry smile of his own! Takagi clamps onto Shota for HAMMER ‘N’ ANVIL ELBOWS! A shot at Shota’s mentor, Moxley, and then Takagi torture racks Shota! Takagi bends Shota and thrashes him, then flips him for a GUTBUSTER! Takagi whips, Shota reverses, and TORNADO DDTS! The fans fire up while both men are down! Shota fires up with “OI! OI! OI!” to copy Takagi, and fans still join in!

Shota drags Takagi up, dragon sleepers, and TRIDENT! Cover, TWO! Shota hurries to aim from a corner, and Takagi slowly rises. IGNITION! Shota fires up again and he brings Takagi in for- NO, Takagi RAMS Shota first! But Shota ENZIGIRIS back! Shota runs back up, into a PUMPING BOMBER! Takagi takes Shota down first, and the fans rally up even harder! Takagi feeds off the energy to rise again. Takagi drags Shota up, shouts for “JAPAN~!” but Shota fights the pump handle. Shota swings, into a Gory Especial, NOSHIGAMI! Takagi fires up, runs, and PUMPING BOMBERS!! The fans are thunderous and Takagi isn’t done!

Takagi hauls Shota up to pump handle, MADE IN JAPAN!! Cover, TWO?!? Shota survives and the fans are thunderous again! Takagi hears the 15 minute call and he rallies the fans. The fans get louder and louder as Takagi rises, and he kicks Shota. Takagi stands Shota up to pump handle, but Shota CLUBS Takagi first. Shota CLUBS Takagi more, so Takagi LARIATS! Shota roars and comes back into the ELBOW! JAB! YUKON LARIAT! And then pump handle, torture rack, but Shota slips free to backslide! Takagi rolls through but Shota ripcords and ELEVATED DEATH RIDER!! Both men are down and the fans rally hard as ever!

The ref checks both men, Takagi growls and pushes himself up. Shota also rises, and the two storm up to each other. Shota fires a forearm, but Takagi shakes his head. Shota fires another, Takagi wobbles, but Takagi still eggs Shota on. Shota fires another forearm, so Takagi fires boxing elbows! Takagi winds up but Shota ROCKS him first! Shota runs, but Takagi follows to LARIAT! Takagi runs, but into an EXPLODER! PUMPING BOMBER?! SNAP DRAGON!?! The fans are thunderous and Shota takes aim! Takagi rises, into the BLAZE BLADE!! Cover, TWO!! Takagi survives but Shota’s hitting another gear!

Shota drags Takagi up, underhooks, but Takagi fights the rider! Takagi wrenches, JABS, and HEADBUTTS! Shota ROCKS, ROLLING- NO, Takagi swats, CHOPS and HEADBUTTS! Both men wobble, but then Shota catches Takagi to spin and SNAP DEATH RIDER!! Cover, SHOTA WINS!!

Winner: Shota Umino, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Takagi earns 0)

The Roughneck slays the Rampaging Dragon! Is this proof that Shota is going to lead the Paradigm Shift that is the new generation taking over? As for Takagi, he breaks even at 1-1, but can he rise back up in the next round?

 

G1 Climax 34 A Block: Tetsuya Naito VS Zack Sabre Jr. w/ Kosei Fujita!

Speaking of the IWGP World Heavyweight Champion, he and the Submission Master have gone back and forth through the various tournaments of NJPW. Will Naito be able to keep the G1 tranquilo? Or will TMDK’s Front Man make him #JustTapOut?

As always, Naito takes time with his entrance attire. ZSJ is patient, he’s seen this all before. Naito finally puts the nice suit aside, the bell rings and the fans rally up. Naito and ZSJ both take their time while the fans cheer on “NA-I-TO!” ZSJ mirrors Naito’s slow pace as they circle, and then ZSJ raises the LIJ fist! Naito starts to raise his, but then SPITS at ZSJ! ZSJ kicks Naito, CLUBS him, whips him, but Naito reverses to TORNADO CRADLE! TWO!! ZSJ escapes, Naito runs but fakes ZSJ out to tranquilo! The fans cheer but ZSJ rushes in, only for Naito to catch him into a somersault clutch! TWO!!

ZSJ runs up again, but into an atomic drop! And then rolling jackknife! TWO! ZSJ has the sunset flip, TWO! Naito has a deep prawn hold, TWO!! ZSJ narrowly escapes again and the fans fire up! Naito kicks, but ZSJ fights the neckbreaker. Naito ELBOWS ZSJ down, then runs to basement dropkick! The fans fire up and Naito clamps onto ZSJ with a chinlock. ZSJ endures, even as Naito digs his knee in. ZSJ reaches out, hesitates, but then goes for the ROPEBREAK! Red Shoes counts, Naito lets off, but then ELBOWS ZSJ in the head! Naito brings ZSJ up, cravats, and then he grinds ZSJ down to the mat.

ZSJ endures, even as Naito keeps on the cravat. The fans rally, ZSJ headscissors, but Naito shrugs that off to keep the cravat. ZSJ fights around, stands back up, but Naito snapmares. ZSJ bridges up to snapmare and NECK TWIST! The fans cheer, and ZSJ stalks Naito to the apron. ZSJ goes out to NECK TWIST Naito again! Red Shoes reprimands but the fans rally up. ZSJ steps in, drags Naito back up, and UPPERCUTS! Naito falls back, ZSJ drags him up, and ZSJ UPPERCUTS again! ZSJ brings Naito around to UPPERCUT again, and Naito falls back down. The fans continue to rally, and ZSJ drags Naito up for knuckle locks.

ZSJ twists the wrists, wrenches and then wraps Naito up in a straitjacket stretch. ZSJ brings Naito to his knees, and brings him back into a STRAITJACKET SURFBOARD! Naito endures, kicks and flails, and manages to find the ROPEBREAK! The fans cheer and ZSJ lets off cleanly. ZSJ drags Naito up to cravat and return the neck wrench. Naito endures, even as ZSJ RAMS his shoulder in. ZSJ cranks the hold but Naito fires body shots. Naito is free but ZSJ UPPERCUTS him! ZSJ runs corner to corner but Naito dodges! Naito blocks boots, puts ZSJ in ropes, and hits a DRAPING NECKBREAKER! The fans rally while both men are down.

Naito shakes out the stars, ZSJ stands up, and Naito fires off forearms and kicks! Naito whips, arm-drags, and then arm-drags again! Naito runs to basement dropkick! The fans cheer, and Naito stands ZSJ up, takes his time, and then hits the NECKBREAKER! The fans cheer, Naito brings ZSJ around to cover, TWO! ZSJ bails out but Naito isn’t bothered. Naito storms over to the apron, drags ZSJ up, and turns him, only for ZSJ to throw elbows. Naito swings, but into ZSJ’s ROPE OCTOPUS! Red Shoes reprimands and counts, ZSJ lets go at 4, then ZSJ drags Naito out of the ring. ZSJ UPPERCUTS Naito, then UPPERCUTS again.

ZSJ taunts Naito, then whips him, only for Naito to reverse and send ZSJ hard into railing! ZSJ falls over, but Naito drags him right up to then put him on the apron. For a DRAPING NECKBREAKER to the floor! The fans fire up but Red Shoes and even Fujita check ZSJ. ZSJ is somehow still in this, so a ring count starts. Both men stir, and ZSJ slowly sits up. Naito has Fujita back up, the count passes 15 of 20, but Naito puts ZSJ in at 16. The fans cheer, and Naito rolls in. Naito drags ZSJ up to throw those heavy elbows! ZSJ falls over and Naito paces. Naito kicks ZSJ to a corner, goes up, and reels ZSJ in for ESPERANZA!

The fans cheer and Naito smiles while he goes back to the corner. ZSJ rises, Naito runs in, but ZSJ slips around to SLEEPER! And O’Conner into a SLEEPER with body scissors! Naito flails, but ZSJ even traps the arms before going to a DRAGON SLEEPER! Naito endures, kicks around, but ZSJ shifts into a TRIANGLE HOLD! ZSJ squeezes tight but Naito reaches out to a ROPEBREAK! ZSJ lets go and the fans applaud. ZSJ rises, Naito sits up, and ZSJ KICKS him! ZSJ grins as Naito sits up again, and he KICKS again! Naito manages to smile? ZSJ eggs Naito on, KICKS him, but Naito blocks! ZSJ UPPERCUTS back!

ZSJ whips, Naito reverses, but ZSJ denies the tornado DDT to PENALTY KICK! The fans fire up with ZSJ, and he scoops to ZACK- DESTINO!! It was outta nowhere, but also out of desperation! Both men are down and the fans fire up! The fans rally, Naito sits up first, and he brings ZSJ around. Naito wrenches, but ZSJ scoops! ZACK DRIVER!! But ZSJ can’t make the cover! The fans fire up as ZSJ and Naito are down again. ZSJ crawls over, brings Naito up, and he UPPERCUTS! Naito wobbles, ZSJ UPPERCUTS again! And UPPERCUTS again! Naito ROCKS ZSJ with a forearm! And again! ZSJ eggs Naito on!

Naito ROCKS ZSJ and ZSJ sits down! The fans rally, ZSJ stands and UPPERCUTS! And UPPERCUTS! And UPPERCUTS! Naito throws the heavy elbows! ZSJ roars but Naito ELBOWS him down! The fans fire up as we pass 15 minutes. Naito aims, runs in, CORRIENDO- NO, ZSJ scoops! But Naito somersaults! ZSJ rocks it back, EURO CLUTCH! TWO!!! Naito escapes by nanoseconds! ZSJ runs in but into an ELBOW! ZSJ BOOTS, Naito fires a forearm and SPITS! ZSJ swings, into a spin, but he ducks the enzigiri! Body scissors, JAPANESE LEG CLUTCH!! ZSJ WINS!!

Winner: Zack Sabre Jr, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Naito earns 0)

The IWGP World Heavyweight Champion loses again! And ZSJ snatches the belt, claiming it as his own! Will The Front Man finally have this title one way or another? Or will Naito stop owing golden tickets after tonight?

 

G1 Climax 34 B Block: Yota Tsuji VS David Finlay w/ Gedo!

How fitting that this is round two’s main event. While all the Reiwa Musketeers fell last round, it was the fact that Finlay was talking trash on him the whole time that really upset Yota. Will Yota get back at Finlay with a Gene Blaster? Or will this be a rebound round for the Rebel?

Finlay gets in Yota’s face but Yota just grins. The two then back off to put their duster jackets aside. The bell rings and the fans rally up. Finlay hears the fans cheering on “YOTA! YOTA!” and shrugs it off. The two circle, tie up, and they each pull hair! Red Shoes reprimands them both as they go around, and Finlay puts Yota on ropes. Red Shoes counts, Finlay pie faces Yota, then lets off. But Yota avoids the cheap shot to headlock. Finlay powers out but Yota comes back to RANA! Finlay bails out, fans fire up, and Yota DIVES! Direct hit and Finlay bounces off railing! The fans fire up and rally behind “YOTA! YOTA!” more.

Yota fetches Finlay, drags him up, and whips him hard into railing! Finlay staggers away, Gedo protests, but Yota pursues Finlay. Yota whips Finlay hard into more railing! Gedo is even more upset but there’s nothing Red Shoes can do about this. Yota tells Gedo to shut up, then he drags Finlay back into the ring. Yota steps in, runs, and runs Finlay over! High stack, TWO! Finlay grits his teeth, Yota stands him up, and Yota blocks a kick! Yota trips Finlay, has both legs, and turns Finlay over into a BOSTON CRAB! Finlay endures the hold, fights around, and reaches out to the ROPEBREAK! Yota lets off quickly and fans applaud.

Yota paces while Finlay sits up. Yota comes back but Finlay kicks from below. Yota stomps away on Finlay, CLUBS away on him, then eggs Finlay on. Finlay stands to fire a forearm, then an UPPERCUT! Finlay then stands Yota up and CHOPS! Yota CHOPS back! The fans rally, Yota stalks Finlay to a corner, but Finlay SPITS at him! The fans boo but Finlay grins. Yota also grins, and he runs up to STINGER SPLASH! Yota fires off hands but backs off as Red Shoes reprimands. Yota comes back but Finlay FLAPJACKS him off buckles! Finlay then rains down fists on Yota! Red Shoes reprimands about closed fists but Finlay doesn’t care.

Finlay paces around, drags Yota up, and scoops for a BACKBREAKER! Yota writhes, Finlay covers, TWO! The fans rally and Finlay mocks the “fighting spirit.” He claims he’s gonna beat the spirit outta Yota. Finlay whips Yota hard into buckles! Yota falls, Finlay taunts him, and pushes him around. Finlay SLAPS Yota, drags him up, and UPPERCUTS! Yota goes to a corner, and Finlay barks it up. Some fans bark for Finlay and he runs in to UPPERCUT! Then BROKEN ARROW! Finlay flexes and fans do cheer that feat of strength. Finlay kneels on Yota for a cocky cover, TWO! Finlay mockingly says, “Wow,” then he CHOKES Yota!

Finlay grinds his forearm in Yota’s face, Red Shoes reprimands, and Finlay lets off. Finlay drags Yota up, mocks the fans cheering Yota on, and then clinches. But Yota fights the lift with elbows! Finlay KNEES low, fires another knee, then whips. Yota reverses, scoops and BACKBREAKERS! Finlay flounders and Gedo is mad but the fans fire up! Yota sits up, Finlay goes to a corner, and the fans rally again. Yota runs up to ELBOW Finlay down! Yota then scoops to SLAM and SPLASH! Cover, TWO! Finlay stays in this but Yota stays on him with a GUTBUSTER! Finlay sputters and stumbles away to a corner and the fans fire up.

Yota grins but Gedo is stressing out. Yota storms over to Finlay, digs his knee in, and then KNEES Finlay again! And again! Gedo protests, Red Shoes reprimands, but Yota lets off. Yota then brings Finlay up to whip corner to corner. Finlay stops himself to ROCK Yota! Yota ROCKS Finlay in return! The forearms keep going back and forth, faster and faster! Finlay gets the edge, then catches Yota in to the clinch! IRISH- NO, Yota slips free and shoves Finlay to a corner. Yota runs in, Finlay dodges and comes back. Finlay blocks Yota’s boot, but Yota brings him in to DOUBLE STOMP! The fans fire up again while Finlay flounders.

Yota drags Finlay up, then goes up and up and MAROON- NO, Finlay pushes Yota down! Yota lands on the apron, they trade forearms again, but Finlay POSTS Yota! Finlay then runs to SHOTGUN Yota off the apron! Yota hits railing on the way down and Gedo fires up! Finlay grits his teeth as he goes out to fetch Yota. We reach 10 minutes and Finlay drags Yota up. Finlay whips Yota hard into railing! Yota slumps down, and Finlay storms back up. Finlay asks Gedo, “You wanna see a dead body?” Gedo says yeah, and Finlay fireman’s carries Yota. Finlay runs to LAWN DART Yota into a post! Gedo cheers but the fans boo.

Red Shoes checks Yota and he’s somehow still in this. Finlay mockingly offers Hiromu a Too Sweet, Hiromu says no thanks, so Finlay SPITS at him! Hiromu is annoyed, but Finlay flips Hiromu and Osaka off. Finlay then steps inside and the ring count starts. Yota is still down at 5 of 20, clutching his forehead. Yota grabs at railing, drags himself up at 10, and Finlay shows off by doing jumping jacks. Yota stands at 14 but hobbles around. Yota stumbles, falls over at 17, and drags himself back up! He slides in safe at 19, but Finlay’s on him! DOMINATOR! Cover, TWO!! Yota survives the “Canadian Hammer” but Finlay keeps cool.

Finlay says he’ll hit TEN powerbombs if he has to! Gedo says yeah, let’s do that! Finlay picks Yota up but he’s dead weight, so Finlay wants Red Shoes to call it. Red Shoes refuses, he checks with Yota first. Yota growls as he pushes up, so Finlay goes to suplex! Yota fights it, the fans rally up behind him, and Yota suplexes Finlay! Finlay fights that, suplexes Yota, but Yota turns it around into his own BIG suplex! The fans are thunderous while both men are down again! Osaka cheers on “YOTA! YOTA!” while Finlay flounders to ropes. Finlay is frustrated, but he and Yota both stand. Finlay swings, into the BACKBREAKER, FLATLINER and STOMP!

The fans cheer Yota’s triple combo, then he runs to CURB STOMP!! Cover, TWO!! Finlay survives and Gedo coaches him, but the fans still rally for Yota. Yota rises again, he drags Finlay up, and ROCKS him with a forearm! Finlay staggers away, Gedo panics, and Yota goes up, up and MAROON- NO, Finlay dodges! Finlay runs in, Yota KNEES the spear down! Then suplex, ORANGE CRUSH!! Cover, TWO!! Finlay survives and Gedo is relieved, but Yota roars! We hit 15 minutes, Gedo wants Finlay to get up already, but Yota aims from a corner! Finlay rises, Yota runs in, GENE- HEADLOCK TAKEOVER!

Finlay then drags Yota up, INTO OBLIVION!! Cover, TWO!! Yota survives and the fans are thunderous again! The fans cheer “YOTA! YOTA!” as hard as they can while he and Finlay are both down. Gedo coaches Finlay to get up and kill Yota, but Finlay has to drag himself over. Finlay grabs Yota by his hair, stands him up and reels him in, but Yota blocks the bomb! Finlay CLUBS away on Yota, hauls him up, but Yota fights free! Yota then spins Finlay, but Finlay powers out of the cravat! Yota rebounds, but Finlay rolls him for a POWERBOMB! That’s one, and Finlay hurries to haul Yota up again! BUCKLE BOMB!!

Finlay says that’s not enough, here’s the THIRD POWERBOMB!! Finlay falls over, he still has seven more if he wants to keep his promise! The fans rally for Yota but Finlay stands back up. Finlay slashes his throat, drags Yota back up, and suplexes, but Yota cradle counters! TWO!! Finlay escapes, and DISCUS LARIATS Yota down! Finlay drags Yota up again, reels him in and gives a Too Sweet, for the OVER- NO! Yota blocks the knee! Finlay CLUBS away but Yota still fireman’s carries! Finlay elbows free, ROLLING ELBOWS, and Yota staggers. Yota comes back, into another ROLLING ELBOW! Yota leans on ropes and Finlay eggs him on!

Yota stands, into a third ROLLING ELBOW! Yota falls but Finlay brings him right back up. ROLLING ELBOW! Yota drops to his knees, and Finlay looms over him. Finlay stands Yota up again, ROLLING- HEADBUTT!! Finlay rebounds, Yota dodges, GENE BLASTER!! But Yota can’t make the cover! Yota doesn’t worry about that, he hurries to the corner! The fans are thunderous as Yota goes up and up and MAROON CRUSH!! Cover, YOTA WINS!!

Winner: Yota Tsuji, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Finlay earns 0)

For the second night in a row, the G1’s main event is an epic, and an upset! Finlay has lost twice in a row, does NJPW not need The Rebel after all?

As for Yota, he gets the mic to tell Finlay, “Today was for just one of the three Marlowe Puddings you wasted at the press conference! So don’t forget, I still owe you two more.” The fans cheer that motivation. Yota then says “To the NJPW fans here in Osaka and all over the world, the hottest summer has just begun!” The fans cheer that, too. Yota says he is of course focused on total victory here, the first man to have won the Spring’s New Japan Cup AND the Summer’s G1 Climax in the same year! The fans like that idea.

“In this G1, everyone’s talking about the old and new guards, but I’m the one standing in the main event spot! This isn’t for Shingo Takagi nor Tetsuya Naito. It’s my time. Are you ready?! I’m taking this G1.” The fans cheer, and Yota drops the mic. The Gene Blast is confident no one else is reaching the Climax, but will he be ready for the long road ahead?

 

Here are the current A Block standings!

Zack Sabre Jr: 2-0, 4 points
Evil: 2-0, 4 points
Shingo Takagi: 1-1, 2 points
Jake Lee: 1-1, 2 points
Gabe Kidd: 1-1, 2 points
Sanada: 1-1, 2 points
Callum Newman: 1-1, 2 points
Shota Umino: 1-1, 2 points
Tetsuya Naito: 0-2, 0 points
Great-O-Khan: 0-2, 0 points

 

Here are the current B Block standings!

Yuya Uemura: 2-0, 4 points
Henare: 2-0, 4 points
Jeff Cobb: 1-0, 2 points
Konosuke Takeshita: 1-0, 2 points
Boltin Oleg: 1-1, 2 points
Yota Tsuji: 1-1, 2 points
Ren Narita: 1-1, 2 points
David Finlay: 0-2, 0 points
Hirooki Goto: 0-2, 0 points
El Phantasmo: 0-2, 0 points


My Thoughts:

Another awesome night for NJPW for a big G1 opening weekend. One less match, though, because for whatever reason, Konosuke Takeshita and Jeff Cobb weren’t booked for this. And less surprises because Oleg and Callum each took a loss here. Khan VS Gabe was great stuff, with another great win for Gabe. Gabe calling out Hiromu for a NJPW Strong Openweight Championship match was an interesting detail, too. And I should’ve figured Evil would win with more cheating. I really hope this leads to a proper Bullet Club Civil War angle, War Dogs VS House of Torture, but NOT in something where they tear up the ring and risk someone getting hurt.

Yuya gets another great win with that great match against Goto. Yuya could really come out of this G1 as a strong singles competitor, possibly taking that Global Championship from Finlay. But it would seem the Reiwa Musketeers are all making comebacks, too, as Narita cheats ELP, Shota takes down Takagi in a technically big upset of his own, and of course we got those big wins in the penultimate and main event matches. ZSJ has beaten Naito before, but tonight’s win was even bigger for how Naito is world champion. And Yota tops things off in an awesome match with Finlay, and a great win for Yota. A lot of golden tickets are being handed out, the NJPW Destruction tour could be really big this year.

My Score: 9/10


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