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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (5/1/23)

THUNDER!

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HPW News 2023

Who will have the advantage at ThunderStruck?

Before there can be a battle for the HPW Trios Championships in Blood & Thunder, management must decide who has the tactical advantage!

 

HPW Management once again meets at HQ.

General Manager Nicolas Foolyere, President Starfish McMaguro and COO Humpback Hook Halibut are back in the boardroom to discuss ThunderStruck 2’s HPW Trios Championship Blood & Thunder Match of the UnderWorldOrder, Arrow Club and the Dames of the Dunes. Starfish says, “Controversy seems to follow these titles around.” Foolyere says it also seems to follow the uWo. Hook says with no time to have representatives battle it out, it falls to the three of them to decide. That in itself doesn’t really seem fair, does it? Foolyere says it wasn’t fair for the uWo to cheat in order to be champions, this is management restoring balance.

Starfish says in that case, who would Foolyere favor in granting the advantage to? Well, who else? The former champions who were cheated. Riju, Buliara & Tali lost the titles because instead of a fair 3v3, it turned into 5v3 with Hollywood ReDead and Ted Beedle Ossi interfering. Starfish sees that logic. In fact, with them already putting a ringside ban in effect during Kage VS Skull Kid, perhaps they should do the same for the Blood & Thunder match. Hook asks, “But isn’t that what the cage is for?” Well, how many times in Hook’s wrestling career did he see cages in cage matches be completely ineffective against interference? Hook admits that’s a good point.

Starfish says that since it’s already two votes for the Dames between herself and Foolyere, it’s decided. The Dames will be given the one-up advantage every round, but then comes the other side: who would have the disadvantage, aka have their members sent out last? Foolyere says that is also rather easy to figure out. The uWo should be punished for cheating, so they should have the disadvantage. Hook agrees with that, as clearly fines don’t matter with Beedle around, and suspending the uWo while they are the champions would mean having to vacate the titles, and that just creates “a huge mess we shouldn’t have to clean up.”

Starfish says, “Then it’s final. The order of entry for the Blood & Thunder match will be the Dames of the Dunes first, Arrow Club second, and the uWo last.” The teams will be notified, and the match can go on. Will having the advantage help Riju, Buliara & Tali regain the gold that was stolen from them? Will the uWo find a way to win with the odds stacked against them? Or will Bad Croc Scaly & The Young Ducks be back on top?


My Thoughts:

Had to put this one together as both a formality and a necessity. I didn’t really schedule out the Trios title build that well this time, and should’ve made it clear much sooner that we’d get Blood & Thunder 2. But I can only do so much, as I’m truly a one man show here.


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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (5/1/24)

The Gerudo Sisterhood is (not) fine.

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Mayday! Mayday!

The Triforce Anniversary did not go their way, and now The Gerudo Sisterhood sits down to talk it out. Will things (not) be okay again?

 

The Gerudo Sisterhood meet up.

In Gerudo Town, Riju sits in the throne room, Buliara by her side. Aveil, Nabooru and Urbosa arrive together. Riju asks where Tali and Shabonne are, and Aveil says she has no idea. Nabooru and Urbosa also don’t know, no one’s heard from either all month. Did she go back to sand seal racing? Nabooru checked around the track, checked the Great Dunes, no one there had seen her, either. Is Tali feeling that guilty about the spear? Everyone watched the tape back, it was by accident, she has nothing to feel bad about.

The group argues about that a bit. Tali went out there when she wasn’t supposed to. And even if it was an accident, she should still apologize, shouldn’t she? That’s a good point. Well, for now, they’ll just have to wait until Tali comes to them. For now, everyone needs to turn their attention to what’s coming: ThunderStruck.

The Gerudo Sisterhood double check the match card.

An Open Challenge for the Death Mountain Championship starts things off. Nabooru and Aveil tried to get that spot, but it seems someone already called their shot. Who do they think it was? Urbosa says, “Does it really matter? The Sisterhood will be right on the heels of the winner either way.” The others are all for that. Then The Dark Forces seem to be making moves. Cia has Ganon by her side, but who will Ruto have? Between Fin Balure and Bad Croc Scaly, she’s got strong choices, and Arrow Club could even parlay this tag match into a shot at the Termina Championship.

How’d Arrow Club figure out how to avoid Blood & Thunder this year? That’s anyone’s guess, but watching the UnderWorld Order battle it out with the rest of the Dark Forces will be just as much fun for the Sisterhood as it will be for the HPW Trios Champs. Kevin Gibdo, Volga, Zant and Wizzro aren’t exactly the friendliest bunch, but hopefully they give ReDead, Scaldera, Gomess & Death Sword the beating they deserve for all their underhanded moves. And it’d keep them from getting another chance at the HPW Trios titles at that.

The sore spot is the Triforce World Championship match. Yunobo has his shot at the title, and again Tali’s involvement in the Triple Threat cost the Sisterhood. But Link’s a three-time HPW Triforce Champion for a reason. For one, he won the Hyrule Warriors match, and he won the Eventide Challenge. Buliara points out that the other reason is that he lost the title along the way. If things come in threes, then will he lose a third time? Personally, Riju hopes not. She only survived that Beat the Clock Challenge against Link, and wants to settle things in a proper match. That’s also something the Sisterhood can get behind.

There’s thunder in the distance and they all look out the window to see a storm rolling across the desert. Thundra Plateau awaits, but who will rumble their way to victory?


My Thoughts:

Hooray for a hype article! Just imagine this as a really cool vignette video you’d see a major company put out. Also, I did need to keep the story of the Gerudo Sisterhood going, don’t want that slipping through the cracks. I’m feeling some intrigue as we move deeper into the Spring, this should be fun.


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Hockey Talk- Power Players [043024]

Hockey Talk reviews the action from the first round of the 2024 NHL Playoffs and looks forward to some intriguing matchups looming in the second round.

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Chairshot Radio Large

On this week’s edition of Hockey Talk, the guys take a look at the first round of the 2024 NHL Playoffs. The best teams and highest seeds flexed their muscle during the opening round of the playoffs. Out East, it was Chalk City as the Rangers, Hurricanes, Bruins, and Panthers took firm control of their respective series. The West, on the other hand, was far less certain as most of those series were shaping up to be tough, hard-fought, battles to the very end. Which teams impressed the guys the most and which likely second round series are they most excited about? Tune in and find out!

Today’s hosts: Dave Ungar (@AttitudeAgg) and Patrick O’Dowd (@WrestlngRealist)

  • 2024 NHL 1st Round Playoff Recap
  • The East goes according to form
  • The West is wild

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