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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (7/7/23)

Yo ho ho and a bottle of milk!

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HPW News 2023

Chart a course and set sail!

HPW hit Termina Velocity and is now picking up speed towards Treasure Island! We hear from this year’s Eventide Six!

 

After the Eventide Challenge Qualifier Battle Royal.

Backstage interview with Rod Wyler.

Irene is with “The Greatest Wosu-ler Alive” and congratulates him on being one of the Eventide Six. He says it was only natural, as someone of his “acumen” was not going to be thrown around like he’s nothing. He can and will use his arsenal of armlocks, leglocks, wristlocks, toeholds and suplexes to become the 2023 Mr. Eventide. But Irene points out that the Eventide Challenge isn’t a match contained in the ring, it’s part race to the golden ball and back. What? Really? Yes. Has he not been watching the last four years?

Rod is a bit flustered but he says it won’t matter. He’ll still use all of his grappling knowledge to win. Irene looks to side and says “Sure…” Will Rod’s confidence be truly tested this Summer?

 

Backstage interview with Darbus.

Seres is with the hulking Goron icon, and congratulates him on being part of the Eventide Challenge. She asks him how he feels about his chances at Treasure Island? “Oh, I’m feeling good, Seres. I’m feeling real good! Five other people in the match won’t mean anything after making it through a match with 21! I’m going to be the first Goron Mr. Eventide, I’m going to take on whoever is champion in October, and I’m going to stand atop the mountain! HA HA!” Darbus flexes, but will his muscles carry him through?

 

Backstage interview with Odolwa.

Paya is with the God of Woodfall and is fittingly nervous. She congratulates Odolwa, and asks how he’s feeling. Odolwa breathes heavy and deep, and looks right into the camera. “The island may be far removed from my realm, but I will still conquer you all. So says the God of Woodfall.” Odolwa leaves and Paya sheepishly thanks him for his time. Will it be Odolwa’s time after the Eventide Challenge?

 

Backstage interview with Sharky Shipwreck.

Irene is with the TCW legend and congratulates him on being part of the Eventide Six in his big return to wrestling, how is he feeling? “Lemme tell ya somethin’, Mean Irene! It feels so great to be back in the big leagues, and it felt so great to be mixing it up with stars new and old. But don’t get it twisted. I’m not here to have fun and ride a nostalgia train. I am going to sink my teeth into that prize and be a champion again. So get ready, HPW, because there’s a shark in these waters, and sharks don’t stop moving.” Will Sharky Shipwreck have a return to wrestling worthy of the history books?

 

Backstage interview with Aveil.

Seres is with the Desert Flower and congratulates her on being the one lady in the Eventide Six this year. Aveil thanks Seres for that, and says that being the only woman doesn’t really matter. The inaugural Eventide Challenge winner was Zelda, and she was in a pretty strong field, just like Aveil is this year. Aveil vows to be the second woman and the first Gerudo to lead the way for the Sisterhood! Will this Desert Flower bloom with gold once again?

 

Backstage interview with Militron.

The Armored Annihilator is joined by the other Faces of Evil as Paya hesitantly scoots into frame. She congratulates Militron for being in the Eventide Challenge, but also gives her condolences to Harlequin and Glutko for falling short. Harlequin says Igos’ kick was a lucky shot. But he’s also confident “Militron will maul them all and stand tall as Mr. Eventide.” Glutko says only the Faces of Evil will taste sweet victory! Militron says, “To all five of my opponents, know this. I shall light a fire that melts down your hopes and aspirations, and from them I shall forge my own future. It shall be a blade I use to cut down the Triforce Champion and take the title for my own. Then you will know what it is to face. Your. Foe.”

Paya timidly thanks them for their time and hurries away. Will HPW soon belong to FOE?

 

After the HPW Trios Championship match.

The UnderWorld Order walks in.

They’re celebrating the win that Hollywood ReDead and Ted Beedle Ossi helped Scaldera, Gomess & Death Sword get with distractions and interference. Beedle says that’s what Ladrona gets for scamming him. ReDead says it won’t matter who is put against their guys, they’ll still be golden through the Summer. Gomess says, “Speaking of, what was in that treasure chest?” Beedle starts but someone interrupts with an, “Oye, perros!” In walk Los Taros Locos! Death Sword says, “Oh look, it’s Tres Losers.” The UWO laughs, and Taros Blanco keeps Taros Rojo back.

Blanco tells the UWO that that was a rather clever trick they played on everyone. Beedle says gracias, but then Blanco says it also just shows how weak the champions truly are. Now ReDead has to hold Scaldera back. ReDead steps to Blanco and says, “At least they are champions. You lost your debut in the Wait & See Battle Royal, and now you’ve lost in the Eventide Qualifier. Winners like us are still stronger than losers like you.” Blanco says, “Then put your money where your mouth is. Oh wait, it’s all Beedle’s money, isn’t it?” ReDead gets heated but Nicolas Foolyere walks over and asks what’s going on.

Beedle says nothing, just a friendly chat. Foolyere says, “Is that so?” ReDead and Blanco glare at each other, but then ReDead backs off and says, “Yeah. Just a chat.” ReDead leads the UWO away, and Foolyere talks to Los Taros Locos. Foolyere commends them on their showings both tonight and back at the Spectacular Spectacle. Blanco says gracias, that means a lot coming from a legend like Foolyere. Foolyere shakes their hands, then leaves. Azul says ReDead did have a point about their losses here. Blanco says tranquilo, they’ve only just begun. Will Los Taros Locos bull rush their way through HPW?

 

HPW Management meets.

Nicholas Foolyere sits with Humpback Hook Halibut and Starfish McMaguro at HPW Headquarters. They’re all liking how the HPW poster looks. Not too much clutter, and just a great picture of the waves crashing on the shore. But Starfish points out that they also couldn’t advertise all the matches because they haven’t figured out all the matches yet. Hook says that on top of Kage VS Zelda, Ganon VS Shale and the traditional Eventide Challenge, they know Midna is facing Riju for the Goddess Championship. That leaves the Death Mountain Championship and the Trios Championships.

On one hand, the Death Mountain Championship is an Open Division, anyone can challenge for it, so it truly allows for track records to speak for the wrestlers. The same goes for the Trios Championships, but we already saw a lot of teams battle for a shot in the Wait & See Battle Royal. They can’t just default back to Arrow Club or the Gerudo Sisterhood, they’ve had plenty of shots already. But at the same time, it’s hard to say who had a standout showing when going against those teams.

Foolyere says he has some suggestions for those. “Iron Knuckle made it… apparent to me that he wants a match for the Death Mountain title. And as he was the runner-up in the Beat the Clock Challenge, he does deserve something for his efforts, doesn’t he?” Starfish sees what Foolyere means. Plus, it’ll be a first-time-ever match, that’s a selling point in and of itself. Hook says that will be the match, then. Midna’s second Twilight Princess Double Header will be Midna VS Riju for the Goddess Championship, and then Midna VS Iron Knuckle for the Death Mountain Championship.

Now, to Foolyere’s idea for the HPW Trios Championships. “I came across a rather tense encounter between the UWO and that new team, Los Taros Locos. They said it was friendly, but I’ve been around long enough to know what that really meant.” Hook does like Los Taros Locos. They may have joined HPW’s Training Center only back in March, but they aren’t greenhorns. They come from a long line of wrestlers, it’s why Hook put them in the battle royals at all. So if Foolyere is thinking what Hook thinks he’s thinking, he’s all for it. He supports Los Taros Locos getting their first shot at the Trios Championships at Treasure Island.

Starfish says this meeting went better than she thought. They’re all in agreement, and now they can draft up the contracts and the advertising material. Foolyere claps his hands together and says, “Alright! See everyone on Eventide then!” The card is now finalized, but will these new challengers make the most of these opportunities?


My Thoughts:

Part of this was fairly superfluous, just character stuff from our Eventide Six. But it did need to be established that Iron Knuckle’s “influence” on Foolyere is already working, and that we’re freshening up the Trios Division just a touch. This is gonna be the most packed Treasure Island yet because there is still the thing with the treasure chest to address, and trust me, that’s gonna be some fun, too.


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Mitchell’s Hyrule Puro-Resu News Report! (5/1/24)

The Gerudo Sisterhood is (not) fine.

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Mayday! Mayday!

The Triforce Anniversary did not go their way, and now The Gerudo Sisterhood sits down to talk it out. Will things (not) be okay again?

 

The Gerudo Sisterhood meet up.

In Gerudo Town, Riju sits in the throne room, Buliara by her side. Aveil, Nabooru and Urbosa arrive together. Riju asks where Tali and Shabonne are, and Aveil says she has no idea. Nabooru and Urbosa also don’t know, no one’s heard from either all month. Did she go back to sand seal racing? Nabooru checked around the track, checked the Great Dunes, no one there had seen her, either. Is Tali feeling that guilty about the spear? Everyone watched the tape back, it was by accident, she has nothing to feel bad about.

The group argues about that a bit. Tali went out there when she wasn’t supposed to. And even if it was an accident, she should still apologize, shouldn’t she? That’s a good point. Well, for now, they’ll just have to wait until Tali comes to them. For now, everyone needs to turn their attention to what’s coming: ThunderStruck.

The Gerudo Sisterhood double check the match card.

An Open Challenge for the Death Mountain Championship starts things off. Nabooru and Aveil tried to get that spot, but it seems someone already called their shot. Who do they think it was? Urbosa says, “Does it really matter? The Sisterhood will be right on the heels of the winner either way.” The others are all for that. Then The Dark Forces seem to be making moves. Cia has Ganon by her side, but who will Ruto have? Between Fin Balure and Bad Croc Scaly, she’s got strong choices, and Arrow Club could even parlay this tag match into a shot at the Termina Championship.

How’d Arrow Club figure out how to avoid Blood & Thunder this year? That’s anyone’s guess, but watching the UnderWorld Order battle it out with the rest of the Dark Forces will be just as much fun for the Sisterhood as it will be for the HPW Trios Champs. Kevin Gibdo, Volga, Zant and Wizzro aren’t exactly the friendliest bunch, but hopefully they give ReDead, Scaldera, Gomess & Death Sword the beating they deserve for all their underhanded moves. And it’d keep them from getting another chance at the HPW Trios titles at that.

The sore spot is the Triforce World Championship match. Yunobo has his shot at the title, and again Tali’s involvement in the Triple Threat cost the Sisterhood. But Link’s a three-time HPW Triforce Champion for a reason. For one, he won the Hyrule Warriors match, and he won the Eventide Challenge. Buliara points out that the other reason is that he lost the title along the way. If things come in threes, then will he lose a third time? Personally, Riju hopes not. She only survived that Beat the Clock Challenge against Link, and wants to settle things in a proper match. That’s also something the Sisterhood can get behind.

There’s thunder in the distance and they all look out the window to see a storm rolling across the desert. Thundra Plateau awaits, but who will rumble their way to victory?


My Thoughts:

Hooray for a hype article! Just imagine this as a really cool vignette video you’d see a major company put out. Also, I did need to keep the story of the Gerudo Sisterhood going, don’t want that slipping through the cracks. I’m feeling some intrigue as we move deeper into the Spring, this should be fun.


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Hockey Talk- Power Players [043024]

Hockey Talk reviews the action from the first round of the 2024 NHL Playoffs and looks forward to some intriguing matchups looming in the second round.

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Chairshot Radio Large

On this week’s edition of Hockey Talk, the guys take a look at the first round of the 2024 NHL Playoffs. The best teams and highest seeds flexed their muscle during the opening round of the playoffs. Out East, it was Chalk City as the Rangers, Hurricanes, Bruins, and Panthers took firm control of their respective series. The West, on the other hand, was far less certain as most of those series were shaping up to be tough, hard-fought, battles to the very end. Which teams impressed the guys the most and which likely second round series are they most excited about? Tune in and find out!

Today’s hosts: Dave Ungar (@AttitudeAgg) and Patrick O’Dowd (@WrestlngRealist)

  • 2024 NHL 1st Round Playoff Recap
  • The East goes according to form
  • The West is wild

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