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Mitchell’s NJPW G1 Climax 33 Results & Report! (8/9/23)

D Block, FINAL ROUND!

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The round robin is finally through!

And it all comes down to this! D Block finishes the round robin, and only two more men can make it to the G1 Climax quarterfinals!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Eddie Kingston & Yuto Nakashima VS EVIL & SHO; Evil & Sho win.
  • Kaito Kiyomiya & Ryohei Oiwa VS Mikey Nicholls & Kosei Fujita; Mikey & Kosei win
  • Six Man Tag: Shota Umino, Hikuleo & Master Wato VS Bullet Club; Shota, Hikuleo & Wato win.
  • Tomohiro Ishii VS Tomoaki Honma VS Great-O-Khan & HENARE; Khan & Henare win.
  • Six Man Tag: Team Strong Style VS Los Ingobernables de Japon; Team Strong Style wins.
  • G1 Climax 33, D Block: Toru Yano VS Alex Coughlin; Coughlin wins.
  • G1 Climax 33, D Block: Jeff Cobb VS Shane Haste; Double Count Out Draw.
  • G1 Climax 33, D Block: Hirooki Goto VS Zack Sabre Jr; ZSJ wins.
  • G1 Climax 33, D Block: Hiroshi Tanahashi VS Tetsuya Naito; Naito wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Here are the current D Block standings.

Jeff Cobb: 4-2, 8 points
Tetsuya Naito: 4-2, 8 points
Zack Sabre Jr: 4-2, 8 points
Hiroshi Tanahashi: 3-3, 6 points
Hirooki Goto: 3-3, 6 points
Shane Haste: 2-4, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
Alex Coughlin: 2-4, 4 points [ELIMINATED]
Toru Yano: 2-4, 4 points [ELIMINATED]

 

G1 Climax 33, D Block: Toru Yano VS Alex Coughlin!

These two are out of the running, both are 2-4, so this is about avoiding the bottom of the block! Will the Clown Prince be able to pull one over on the Android? Or will he be sunk by the Deadeye Dreadnought?

Oh no, GABE KIDD attacks Yano during his entrance! The War Dogs go after Yano together, even choking Yano with his own red chair! Fans boo but then the War Dogs rip the railings apart and SLAM piece upon piece onto Yano! Fans boo as the War Dogs stand on Yano, then continue to add pieces of railing. The ref reprimands, Gabe pushes him away and flips off the fans. The War Dogs Too Sweet and then drag Yano out of the wreckage. They CHOKE Yano with his own Mr. Hokkaido sash! Gabe DECKS Yano, Coughlin stomps Yano’s legs, then they drag Yano up and down the ramp. Gabe sets up the red chair and makes Yano take a seat.

Coughlin storms back up the ramp, runs in, but Yano gets free! Drop toehold sends Coughlin into the chair! Yano JAMS Gabe, SMACKS him on the back, and fans fire up! Yano JAMS and SMACKS Coughlin, too! Yano then uses a normal chair to JAM and SMACK Gabe! Yano whips Coughlin into railing! Yano puts the normal chair around Gabe’s head and drags him back up the ramp! Fans cheer as Yano gets Gabe all the way back up to the stage, and then shoves him backstage! Yano then storms his way back to the ring. Yano tells some fans they’re gonna need to move, and he brings Coughlin out there!

Yano BOWLS Coughlin into the chairs! Fans cheer as Yano drags Coughlin up, but Coughlin KNEES low, CLUBS Yano, and throws him into chairs! Coughlin throws some chairs around and goes King Kong on this! Coughlin drags Yano up, but Yano JAMS Coughlin with a chair! And SMACKS him on the back! The ref reprimands, he wants this in the ring so the match can actually start! Yano sends Coughlin into the wall instead! Yano tells the ref to shut up and then he drags Coughlin back up. More fans have to clear out, Yano BOWLS Coughlin in! Fans fire up as Yano unties the red buckle pad, then goes back for Coughlin.

Yano drags Coughlin up and into the ring, and fans fire up as this is finally a match! Yano stomps Coughlin around, drags him up, and whips him into the bare buckles! Coughlin falls and fans cheer! Yano drags Coughlin up, whips him to ropes, and then uses a wrist tape trap to CHOKE Coughlin! Fans cheer, the ref reprimands, but Yano shoves the ref away! Yano drags Coughlin to the ground and covers, but the ref says no way! Not after all the shenanigans! Yano says fine, he’ll just do it again! But Coughlin whips him into the buckles! And then runs him over! Coughlin growls and he stomps away on Yano.

Coughlin fires off forearms, then an UPPERCUT, and a CHOP! Coughlin SLAPS Yano around, “Who do you think you are?!” Coughlin runs, into a Manhattan Drop! And then CATAPULT into the bare buckles! Fans fire up as Yano lifts Coughlin, for ONI- NO, Coughlin fights free! Coughlin gets around, and shoves Yano into the ref! Down goes Marty Asami! Coughlin stomps away on Yano, then digs his knee in! Gabe returns and he stomps away on Yano, too! Fans boo but the War Dogs just soak up the heat. Gabe goes out, Coughlin drags Yano up, and Gabe finds a TABLE! Fans are a bit torn seeing Gabe set this table up ringside.

Coughlin brings Yano over, Gabe makes sure the table is just right, and Coughlin suplexes! Yano fights it with all his might! And then POSTS Coughlin! But Gabe trips Yano! Gabe stomps Yano, Coughlin throws down fists! Coughlin whips Yano, but Yano reverses and Coughlin hits railing! Gabe CLUBS Yano, whips him, but Yano reverses and Gabe hits railing! Fans fire up as Yano is taking care of both NJPW Strong Openweight Tag Team Champions! Yano gets Gabe up, ONIGOROSHI through the table!! Fans fire up as Gabe tastes a bit of karma! Yano goes after Coughlin, smacks him off the apron, and fans rally up again.

Yano puts Coughlin in, and then goes looking under the ring. He finds SCISSORS!? Yano’s scary side is coming out and Coughlin wants him to hold on! But the ref is back! He stops Yano from going after Coughlin’s face! Coughlin grabs his belt! The ref takes the scissors from Yano, and Yano turns around into a BELT SHOT!! Coughlin drags Yano up, reels him in, suplex to the JACKHAMMER!! Cover, Coughlin wins!

Winner: Alex Coughlin, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Yano earns 0)

The War Dogs still win out and fans boo! Coughlin gets in the faces of fans, then he DECKS Young Lions! Coughlin also gets Gabe up out of the wreckage. Will Bullet Club take over NJPW one way or another?

 

G1 Climax 33, D Block: Jeff Cobb VS Shane Haste w/ Kosei Fujita!

The Imperial Unit is still in the fight, but Hysterical Haste is not! But will it be hysterical when Shane ruins Cobb’s chances? Or will even The Mighty kneel before The United Empire?

The bell rings and fans rally up. The two circle, tie up, and Cobb powers Shane to ropes. The ref calls for the break, Cobb lets off, and fans applaud. They reset and circle again, then tie up. Shane waistlocks but Cobb is too big to lift. Cobb pries the hold open, wrenches, and wristlocks. Shane reaches out but Cobb keeps him from the ropes. Cobb YANKS the arm, wrenches it again, but Shane rolls, kips up and arm-drags! Shane has the armlock now and fans rally up. Cobb fights up, Shane wrenches and RAMS the shoulder, then keeps on the wristlock. Shane keeps Cobb from ropes now, but Cobb rolls, and kips up, and arm-drags!

Fans fire up as Cobb runs in but only gets buckles. Shane runs, Cobb drops then hurdles, but Shane shoves and leaps, into Cobb’s arms! Cobb pops Shane around to a suplex! Cobb holds Shane up for a count of- Wait, Shane slips free and UPPERCUTS! Shane runs, but into a DROPKICK! Cobb sends Shane out and then slowly rolls out after him. Cobb waves hi to commentary and he drags Shane up. But Shane KICKS Cobb, and RAMS him into railing! And then POSTS him! Shane reels Cobb in, and gets him for an APRON POWERBOMB?! Shane leaves Cobb behind for the ring count to start. Fans rally but Cobb is down even at 10 of 20.

Cobb stirs at 13, sits up slowly, and drags himself up and in at 16! But Shane stomps away! Shane digs his knee into Cobb, but lets off as the ref counts. Shane drags Cobb around, wraps on a straitjacket and then hits a BACKSTABBER! Cover, TWO! Shane is annoyed but the fans rally up. Shane drags Cobb to center, digs his knees into Cobb’s back again, and pulls him back in a chinlock stretch. Cobb fights up, with Shane right on his back! Shane ELBOWS Cobb, we hit five minutes, and Shane KICKS! Cobb throws body shots, but Shane kicks then BOOTS Cobb back! Shane drags Cobb back up, and tries to suplex?!

Cobb is still big to suplex and he throws body shots. Shane UPPERCUTS, then fireman’s carries!? Cobb slips off and shoves Shane to a corner, to then UPPERCUT in return! Fans rally up as Cobb whips Shane into the corner and clotheslines! Cobb fires off point-blank clotheslines again and again and again! Cobb lets off after TEN, and Shane sits down in the corner. Cobb storms back up, hoists Shane up, and RUNNING BACK SUPLEXES! Cover, TWO! GACHIMUCHI MOONSAULT! Cover, TWO! Shane survives but Cobb says time to go for a ride! Cobb whips but Shane holds ropes! Shane BOOTS Cobb, then LARIATS!

Cobb stays up! Shane tries again, DOUBLE LARIATS collide! Neither man falls, so Cobb eggs Shane on. Shane ROUNDHOUSES Cobb, then SHANE-ING WIZARD! Cover, TWO!! Cobb survives but Shane drags Cobb up to suplex!? FALCON ARROW! Cover, TWO!! Cobb survives and fans fire up! Shane grits his teeth and Kosei cheers him on with the fans. Shane slashes his throat, he plans to end this! Shane drags Cobb up, fireman’s carries, but Cobb fights free. Cobb ROCKS Shane, Shane ROCKS Cobb, repeat! They go back and forth, Cobb CHOPS and Shane CHOSP! Cobb fires a forearm, and Shane wobbles!

Cobb talks trash, Shane UPPERCUTS! Cobb JABS and Shane drops to a knee! Cobb powers up and runs, but Shane DROPKICKS him down! Fans fire up while Cobb tumbles out of the ring! Shane hurries out to CHOP! Shane brings Cobb around, he and Cobb brawl, and they go up the ramp. Cobb CLUBS Shane, Shane CHOPS and JABS Cobb! They keep going, but Cobb shoves Shane. Shane headlocks Cobb and they go right to the stage! Cobb fireman’s carries Shane! Shane slips off to fire UPPERCTS and KICKS! Shane reels Cobb in, pushes the ref away, but Cobb fights the lift! Cobb back drops Shane to the ramp!

Both men are down, and we hit the ten minute mark. Cobb sits up and fans rally. Cobb hurries back as he hears the ring count. Shane hurries after Cobb, and waistlocks! Cobb throws him off and keeps going as we hit 10 of 20. Shane keeps trying, Cobb scoops him! TOUR OF THE- SLEEPER! Shane is a backpack on Cobb as we hit 15 of 20! Cobb THROWS Shane off, but Shane anchors a foot! Cobb tries to get in but Shane hooks a leg around railing! The count hits TWENTY, it’s a DRAW!!

Double Count Out Draw, each man earns 1 point

Shane smiles, he may have just cost Cobb his spot! Cobb is furious, and he throws the timekeeper’s table! Will having 9 points keep the Imperial Unit from conquering the quarterfinals?

 

G1 Climax 33, D Block: Hirooki Goto VS Zack Sabre Jr w/ Kosei Fujita!

The Fierce Warrior and the Front Man are reliant on what the rest of the block does, but each man still needs to win in their own right! Will Goto make the Mighty NJPW World Television Champion kneel? Or will he #JustTapOut to ZSJ?

The bell rings and fans rally up as the two circle. ZSJ and Goto feel things out, but then back away. They go again, tie up collar ‘n’ elbow, and are in a deadlock. Goto uses his muscular edge to power ZSJ to ropes but ZSJ turns things around. Red Shoes calls for the break, and ZSJ lets off slowly. Then ZSJ UPPERCUTS! And UPPERCUTS! And UPPERCUTS again! ZSJ whips, Goto turns hip toss into hip toss, then he runs ZSJ over! Fans fire up and Goto stomps ZSJ. Goto brings ZSJ up to fire forearms, then bumps ZSJ off buckles. Goto fires forearm after forearm and fans fire up as ZSJ sits down.

Goto whips corner to corner, runs in and MURA- NO, ZSJ catches the leg to an ANKLE LOCK! Then he drops an elbow on Goto’s back! ZSJ hurries to scoop Goto to a BACKBREAKER! Fans cheer and Goto bails out. ZSJ pursues, and he drags Goto up to elbow him in the back! And again! And again! Goto hobbles, ZSJ swaggers after him, and then brings Goto up to put back in the ring. Fans cheer and ZSJ drags Goto around into a HEEL HOOK! ZSJ digs his knees into Goto’s back, and then ties up the legs and hooks Goto’s face. Red Shoes reprimands, but ZSJ pulls Goto into a BOW ‘N’ ARROW!

Goto fights, ZSJ hooks an arm, but Goto has the ROPEBREAK! Fans cheer as ZSJ lets off. ZSJ paces around, sits Goto up, and KICKS him in the back! Goto snarls and sits up, but ZSJ gives him more kicks. ZSJ stands Goto up but Goto fires off CHOP after CHOP! ZSJ RAMS Goto, whips, but Goto reverses, only for ZSJ to catch Goto to a COBRA TWIST! Goto endures and marches his way over, but ZSJ drags Goto down! GROUND COBRA! Goto endures all over again, and then ZSJ shifts to an almost Koij Klutch! Goto fights around, reaches out, and has the ROPEBREAK! Fans cheer again as ZSJ reluctantly lets go.

ZSJ stomps Goto, almost toying with him. ZSJ stands Goto up to a FULL NELSON! Goto breaks it, elbows ZSJ, but ZSJ UPPERCUTS! ZSJ runs, Goto follows and LARIATS! Fans fire up as both men are down! We pass five minutes, and both men slowly rise. Goto is on ZSJ first and he bumps ZSJ off buckles. Goto whips corner to corner, runs in, but blocks a boot! Goto puts that leg in the ropes to KICK the leg! Then he MURAMASAS! Goto brings ZSJ around, SAIDO! Cover, TWO! ZSJ hangs tough but Goto stays on him. Goto fireman’s carries but ZSJ fights! ZSJ wrenches, but Goto DECKS ZSJ! Fans fire up with Goto!

Goto goes to a corner, and climbs!? But ZSJ RAMS into Goto first! ZSJ climbs, he goes after an arm, but Goto throws body shots! ZSJ ROCKS Goto in return! And again! And again! But Goto hits back with forearms and a HEADBUTT! ZSJ falls, but then springs up, only for Goto to ROCK him! Goto reels ZSJ in, HANGING HEADSCISSORS LOCK! Red Shoes reprimands and counts, Goto lets off at 4, and then Goto storms back in. Goto drags ZSJ up, ROCKS him with more forearms, then whips corner to corner again. Goto runs in, and clotheslines! ZSJ falls and fans rally as Goto goes back up!

Goto aims, for the ELBWO DROP, into an ARMBAR! ZSJ shifts, has a mounted armbar but then shifts again to have a form of Clarky Cat! Goto endures, kicks around, and has the ROPEBREAK! Fans cheer and ZSJ again lets off in frustration. ZSJ runs up to KICK! And KICK! But Goto blocks that one! Goto stands, ZSJ throws a forearm! And another! And another! Goto ROCKS ZSJ in return! ZSJ runs back in, DOUBLE LARIATS collide! ZSJ staggers, comes back, DOUBLE LARIATS collide again! And DOUBLE LARIATS again, but Goto stays standing! Goto fireman’s carries, for an USHIGOROSHI!

Fans fire up as Goto drags ZSJ back up, dragon sleepers, but ZSJ slips out, SAIDO! Goto rises right up to SAIDO in return! But ZSJ is right up to SAIDO BACKBREAKER! Fans fire up as both men are down again! ZSJ drags Goto up, runs, but Goto follows! ZSJ LARIATS! Cover, ONE?!? ZSJ runs in, Goto LARIATS! Cover, TWO!! Goto roars, he drags ZSJ up but ZSJ spins it around, ZACK DRIVER!! Both men are down and we hit 10 minutes! Kosei coaches ZSJ and the fans rally up! ZSJ sits himself up with ropes, and crawls over to Goto. Goto throws a forearm! And another! ZSJ hits Goto back with a forearm!

Goto throws another forearm but ZSJ shakes his head. ZSJ throws another forearm, but Goto comes back with his own! They both stand up, and the forearms continue! ZSJ staggers to ropes, shakes out the stars, and comes back to throw forearms with Goto again! Fans fire up as they go faster and faster! Goto ROCKS ZSJ again, and then stands ZSJ up to ROCK again! Goto runs, ZSJ BOOTS and wrenches to PELE an arm! ZSJ kicks a lariat away, UPPERCUTS, but Goto KICKS from the left side! Goto roars and fans fire up! Goto aims, to BUZZSAW! Then he drags ZSJ back up, fireman’s carries, G T W!! Cover, TWO!?!?

ZSJ survives and shocks Goto but the fans are thunderous! Goto drags ZSJ up, dragon sleepers, G T- NO, ZSJ slips around to backslide! Goto fights it so ZSJ SLEEPERS! And then spins, scoops, but Goto slips free! But ZSJ drops down! EURO CLUTCH!! TWO!?!? Goto escapes and fans fire up again! PENALTY KICK! But Goto rises! Goto blocks a boot to HEADBUTT ZSJ down! Goto drags ZSJ up again, but ZSJ HEADBUTTS the ribs! ZSJ wrenches, flips Goto around, tucks him in, IRON OCTOPUS!! Goto endures as ZSJ pushes, but Goto pries at the hold! ZSJ drags Goto down, GROUND OCTOPUS!!

Goto reaches out, moves around, fights part of the hold, but ZSJ shifts around to omoplata! ZSJ has the legs tied up, too! CREMATION LILY!! Goto gets his arm free but ZSJ ELBOWS away on him! ZSJ then has both arms with a leg scissors! Cremation Lily fused with Hurrah Another Year?! Goto has no limbs to fight with, he verbally quits! ZSJ wins!!

Winner: Zack Sabre Jr, by submission (gains 2 points; Goto earns 0)

And the Front Man has done it! One way or another, he is into the quarterfinals! But now, who of his many rivals in this block will join him?

 

G1 Climax 33, D Block: Hiroshi Tanahashi VS Tetsuya Naito!

The Ace of the Universe and the Uncontrollable Charisma have seen the rest of the block fight it out, and as it stands, only Naito’s way is clear! Tanahashi needed Cobb AND Goto to win, and we saw Goto #JustTapOut to ZSJ. So then, can Tanahashi be the Once in a Century spoiler? Or will the G1 continue to be tranquilo?

Tanahashi is patient with Naito as he takes his entrance attire off. The fans rally and duel already, and the bell rings. Red Shoes assesses that the chanting between “NA-I-TO!” and “TA-NAHA-SHI!” is leaning towards Naito by just a bit. The two circle, approach, but then Naito backs off. Fans applaud the usual Naito tactic. The two approach again, and then Tanahashi inside cradles!! TWO!!! Naito barely escapes and he then bails out of the ring! Fans cheer as Tanahashi waits patiently on Naito. Naito returns, but he wants Tanahashi to stay back. Red Shoes has Tanahashi back up, and Naito rolls inside.

Naito and Tanahashi circle, they tie up, and are in a deadlock. Naito powers Tanahashi back a step, but Tanahashi gets around. Naito has the arm, wrenches to a waistlock, but Tanahashi switches. Naito pries at the arm again, wrenches, and he wristlocks to bring Naito to his knees. Tanahashi fights up, slips around, and hammerlocks to a headlock. Naito powers up but can’t power out as Tanahashi holds tight! Fans cheer, and Naito fights his way back up. Naito powers up but still can’t power out! Fans rally up as Naito keeps fighting. Naito pulls hair and Red Shoes reprimands, but now Tanahashi pulls hair!

Red Shoes reprimands both men, counts, and Tanahashi throws a body shot! Fans cheer and Tanahashi storms up on Naito in the corner. Tanahashi fires another body shot, then whips corner to corner. Naito reverses, runs in, but into an elbow! Tanahashi goes up to CROSSBODY! Fans fire up and Tanahashi air guitars. Tanahashi then arm-drags Naito down to have an armlock. Naito fights up, Tanahashi wrenches, but Naito pulls hair again! Red Shoes reprimands, Tanahashi swings, but Naito dodges to pull more hair! And he hits a NECKBREAKER! Tanahashi scrambles to ropes but Naito kicks him to the apron.

Naito stands Tanahashi up, and pulls hair to pull Tanahashi back against ropes! Red Shoes reprimands, Naito lets go, but then he HOTSHOTS Tanahashi down! Naito builds speed to baseball slide Tanahashi! Tanahashi hits railing, and then Naito builds speed again? Oh, he still tranquilos. Fans cheer as Naito relaxes, and we hit five minutes. Tanahashi slowly rises, drags himself in, and fans rally up again. Naito drags Tanahashi up, dragon sleeper and NECKBREAKER, into PLUMA BLANCA! Tanahashi endures the leg scissor full nelson, and he fights around. Naito thrashes Tanahashi but he still makes his way over to the ROPEBREAK!

Naito lets off quickly for once, and he drags Tanahashi up to a NECKBREAKER! Cover, TWO! Fans fire up and Naito brings Tanahashi up. Naito cravats for the neck wrench, but Tanahashi goes to a corner. Red Shoes calls for the break, Naito lets off, but then Naito throws heavy back elbows! Tanahashi drops to a knee but Naito stands him back up. Naito whips corner to corner, runs in, but Tanahashi BOOTS him! And then BOOTS him again! Fans fire up as Tanahashi runs, FLYING FOREARMS! Tanahashi fires up and the fans are with him! Tanahashi drags Naito up, fires off fast hands, then scoops and SLAMS Naito into a drop zone!

Fans fire up as Tanahashi hops up the corner. SUNSET SENTON! Cover, TWO! Fans rally as Tanahashi waits on Naito. Naito rises, Tanahashi runs, but Naito ducks Slingblade! Tanahashi still dropkicks legs, and then grabs one for a DRAGON SCREW! Naito writhes, Tanahashi drags him around by the legs. Naito pulls hair to fight the Cloverhold, then he scrambles for the ROPEBREAK! Tanahashi lets off, but he stomps Naito around. Tanahashi gets a leg but Naito fires off haymakers! Tanahashi kicks, Naito blocks, and he shoves Tanahashi to arm-drag! And ELBOW! And basement dropkick! Fans fire up while both men are down and we hit 10 minutes.

Tanahashi crawls, Naito storms over and drags Tanahashi up. Naito ROCKS Tanahashi with a forearm, whips corner to corner, then runs in to JUMP KICK! But Tanahashi elbows Naito first! And has the leg through ropes, DRAPING DRAGON SCREW! Naito flops to the apron while fans rally up! Naito goes to the floor, Tanahashi fires up and the fans rally with him. Tanahashi climbs the corner! ACE’S HIGH FLY ATTACK!! Fans are thunderous for that direct hit! The ring count starts while both men are down. Tanahashi drags himself up with railing at 7 of 20, he hobbles over and drags Naito up at 12.

Tanahashi puts Naito in at 15 of 20 and fans cheer the sportsmanship! Tanahashi wants to win this right, and he fires up! Fans rally up, Tanahashi runs, SLINGBLADE! Tanahashi fires up more, and he goes back up the corner! Naito stands, for another HIGH FLY ATTACK! Tanahashi goes right back up, for the HIGH FLY FLOW, onto knees!! Naito turns things around on Tanahashi and both men are down! Fans rally up as both men stir. Naito and Tanahashi crawl over to each other, and Naito throws a forearm! Tanahashi throws one back! Naito smirks and he drags Tanahashi up to throw another forearm!

Tanahashi throws a forearm back, Naito throws another, and they stand. The forearms go back and forth, fans rally as Naito gets the edge! Tanahashi fires off a strike fest, but Naito hooks arms, Manhattan Drop and some heavy back elbows! We hit 15 minutes as Naito lets off. Tanahashi flops down but Naito drags him back up. Naito goes up a corner, reels Tanahashi in, ESPERANZA! Fans fire up as Naito watches Tanahashi. Naito aims from the corner as Tanahashi rises, and fans rally up as Naito runs in! But Tanahashi elbows! Naito ENZIGURIS! Wrench and- CRADLE! TWO!!! Another close call!

Naito swings, Tanahashi spins him, TWIST ‘N’ SHOUT! And then another TWIST ‘N’ SHOUT! And then another CRADLE!! TWO!!! Tanahashi almost had Naito that time! Both men stand, Tanahashi whips, but Naito reverses, only for Tanahashi to reverse and SLINGBLADE! Ghost pin, TWO!!! Naito keeps escaping but Tanahashi doesn’t let off! Fans are thunderous as we hit the three minute warning! Tanahashi full nelsons, Naito breaks free, but now Tanahashi GERMAN SUPLEXES! Bridging cover, TWO!!! Tanahashi is frustrated at Naito still escaping! Tanahashi drags Naito up, brings him around, and scoops, but Naito knees free!

Naito throws an elbow! And another, and another, and another! Tanahashi DRAGON PALMS! Naito SPITS, and then spins Tanahashi, TORNADO DDT!! Into a cradle! Naito wins!!!

Winner: Tetsuya Naito, by pinfall (gains 2 points; Tanahashi earns 0)

Naito trumps The Ace, and now Tanahashi is OUT! And as such, Jeff Cobb is OUT! Will Tanahashi and Cobb have to try harder next year?

As for Naito, he refreshes with some water, then gets the mic to say, “BUENAS NOCHES, HAMAMATSU~!” Fans cheer, and Naito continues to say the NJPW G1 Climax, in Act City, Hamamatsu, D Block’s final round was red hot. He asks the fans if they enjoyed the show tonight, and they cheer because they did! Naito notes that with this, the quarterfinals have been decided! Fans cheer that, too! Naito says that tomorrow, in Funabashi City, the next phase begins. How far do they think Naito will advance? “The answer is, of course… TRANQUILO! Assen na yo.” And he hopes that everyone here will have fun with the rest of the G1.

Fans applaud, and Naito continues to say that everyone knows how they have to close this. Here in Act City, Hamamatsu, it’s been seven YEARS, August 2016, that they’ve done this! Is everyone ready? They are! Then to close NJPW G1 Climax in Act City, Hamamatsu, there’s naturally only one way to end this. Roll call! “Bushi! Hiromu! Takagi! Titan! Yota! Y Naito. NOSOTROS! LOS, INGOBERRRRRRNABLEEEEES~! DE! JA! PON!!” Naito only has 24 hours to turn around and be ready, will he pull off a rise back to the top?

 

Here are the FINAL D Block standings!

Tetsuya Naito: 5-2, 10 points [QUALIFIED, D1]
Zack Sabre Jr: 5-2, 10 points [QUALIFIED, D2]
Jeff Cobb: 4-2-1, 9 points [ELIMINATED]
Hiroshi Tanahashi: 3-4, 6 points [ELIMINATED]
Hirooki Goto: 3-4, 6 points [ELIMINATED]
Alex Coughlin: 3-4, 6 points [ELIMINATED]
Shane Haste: 2-4-1, 5 points [ELIMINATED]
Toru Yano: 2-5, 4 points [ELIMINATED]


My Thoughts:

A great final round for D Block and for the G1 Climax round robin. Good stuff even out of the do-nothing match of Yano VS Coughlin, with Gabe getting involved and them both beating down Yano. Yano brought out that scary side and yet it cost him, which is a good move since the War Dogs don’t owe Yano anything but Yano is still strong in a way. And as with C Block, the match order made for maximum drama as we got closer to the end. Cobb beating Shane was the logical move, and was needed to plant the seed that maybe Tanahashi makes it through. But then Goto losing to ZSJ was also the logical move, as ZSJ is going stronger as NJPW World TV Champion.

And then Naito VS Tanahashi was awesome stuff. Tanahashi was out by that point but he was fighting for pride, and to keep Naito out. Naito changed up his usual match flow to show how serious this moment is, and he gave a great change in his moves with that tornado DDT right into a cradle. Naito winning is a great move, he and ZSJ could potentially meet again. If I have it right, Naito faces Hikuleo and ZSJ faces Okada for some great possibilities there. Honestly, it is a star-studded quarterfinals, this is going to be great stuff in the last three days of the tournament.

My Score: 8.9/10


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Not gonna mislead anyone here, Under Siege looks nearly as bad as a Steven Segal film by the same name. Lots of useless tag matches, only really the X Division title to care about. It reminds me of a “Road to” show that New Japan does. Bunch of worthless matches with a few story wrinkles but entirely skippable.

Hopefully something crazy happens or the show is good enough to cover the bad card. But let’s hope something happens tonight to maybe create some reason to watch.

Ratings:

  • Mustafa Ali vs Chris Bey w/Ace Austin: Ali wins via 450 – **
  • Dani Luna w/Jody Threat vs Alisha Edwards w/Masha Slamovich: Lish wins via Russian Death Device – ** 1/4
  • Hammerstone vs Cody Deaner: Hammerstone wins via Torture Rack – *
  • #1 Contender Match: Ace Austin w/Chris Bey vs Trey Miguel w/Zachary Wentz: Ace wins via The Fold – ***
  • TNA Knockouts Championship: Jordynne Grace (c) vs Miyu Yamashita: Grace retains via Juggernaut Driver – *** 1/2

 

Results:

Mustafa Ali vs Chris Bey w/Ace Austin

Ali with a simple Headlock takeover, Bey fights back up and tries to create something with a rope run; but Ali gets the best of things with a Back Elbow. Ali gets cocky as Bey retreats to the corner, Bey turns things around quickly, lands the 10 Count Punches in the corner, Ali tries to fight back but Bey snaps off a quick DDT for a near fall. As Bey goes to continue the offense, Ali Drop Toe Holds Bey into the ropes neck first. Ali again, demonstrating some of the worst in-ring trash talk, Bey turns things around since Ali is running his mouth too much. Ali gets set in the Tree of Woe, Bey goes across to another corner and does a Coast to Coast Elbow Drop as Ali tries to sit up. Honestly, stupid looking since its obviously too coordinated. No one would stay half sat up just to eat an elbow.

While the move looked cool, I now care significantly less about what’s going on. Illogical spots just because “they’re cool”, should not be rewarded. Bey controls the match after the stupid spot, hits his Corner Uppercut Hip Attack, Ali tries to duck a few moves and create something but eats a Spinebuster for 2. Art of Finesse attempt, but Ali shoves him to the outside. Working back inside Ali goes for his Rolling Neckbreaker but Bey connects with a Roundhouse Kick to stop Ali in his tracks. Fighting Spirit spot, they run into the ropes, Ali has a bad Double Leg takedown that he tries to turn into a Cradle with feet on the ropes, but Ace pushes the feet off.

As security starts to move on Ace, Ali hits a Suicida, then Bey connects on a Tope con Hilo. Bey starts rocking Ali, hits the Kudome Valentine but Ali manages to pull himself under the bottom rope just enough to avoid losing. Bey climbs the corner, Ali German Suplexes Bey to the apron, Ali goes for the 450, misses, Bey goes to finish the match but the security get involved again, hit Bey with the flag and then Ali lands the 450 for the win.

I liked when the Security Guards were window dressing instead of mooks to cheat with. This just makes the matches dumber and significantly less interesting, especially when its nameless mooks and its not even a talent getting heat. 

Dani Luna w/Jody Threat vs Alisha Edwards w/Masha Slamovich

Dani starts strong and fast, forearm shots, lariats and a quick near fall sends Alisha retreating to the ropes to get some advice from Masha. Dani goes to attack Lish, Lish with a Drop Toe Hold, Masha takes advantage of the distracted ref and Lish hits a Satellite DDT and then taunts entirely too much. As Lish talks too much, Dani stands up and starts beating the hell out of Lish, Suplex into the rope assisted Blue Thunder Bomb. Dani goes for the Luna Landing, but Masha climbs on the apron, distraction happens, then Lish goes after Jody and the ref stays distracted with Lish. Masha slides into the ring, Roundhouse Kick into the Russian Death Device and Lish turns around for the win!

Sami’s little segment is aptly named DMTv since it feels like a weird hallucination or trip with the way he does stuff. 

Hammerstone vs Cody Deaner

Am I supposed to care about this? Hammerstone looks like he’s chiseled out of granite and Deaner looks like he’s fished out of a trailer park. Hammerstone says a lot of how I feel that the Deaner schtick is pathetic. Deaner says he’s given the power to add a stipulation, Hammer says Arm Wrestling Match, Deaner wants a Sin City Street Fight. So we know what the crowd will pick. Christ this is so carny even Court Bauer blushed.

Deaner bonks Hammer with the mic, low dropkick, goes to grab a trash can lid and hits Hammer…but it just pisses off Captain Hammer. Stomps a mudhole in him, Irish Whip into a Back Elbow and Hammer deposits him to the outside to utilize the gimmick I would assume. This is going on much longer than it should, Deaner finds a chair, clocks Hammer once, goes for Twice, but this isn’t Kpop; so Hammer says no and hits him with a Backbreaker. Then Hammer hits him with a chairshot, 10 Count Punches in the corner, Sack of Shit, Deaner goes for the Ricky Morton lean against the ropes and sell to the crowd spot, but Hammer leans into him and starts using the chair again.

Deaner does his nerd Hulk Up, tries to call for a Body Slam but Hammer doesn’t move and drops the dweeb down. Deaner is back to the begging the crowd Ricky Morton spot…but the crowd doesn’t care since Deaner is a jabroni. Hammer tosses Deaner like a pizza ribs first into the back of the chair and just takes a few moments to revel in his handwork. Deaner fights back, lands a few right hands, tries to call for the Body Slam again like an idiot, gets Hammer half way and falls over so Hammer just rains down punches (can we end this waste of time please). Hellavator, I mean Nightmare Pendulum but Deaner floats over and lands the Scoop Slam onto the steel chair for only 2.

The crowd starts chanting for table, so of course Deaner obliges…this is going on so damn long. Hammer no sells the forearm, Vertical Suplex, goozle, and then Hammer Chokeslams Deaner through the table and calls to for the Torture Rack. Deaner is Rack’d and dead. ‘Bout damn time.

Like a Torpedo, Something is there…

I’m mad at myself that I popped for Ball of Speed. I’m not even sure why, but I like it.

If I’ve said it once I’ve said it at least 3 dozen times, Joe Hendry is a treasure. Starting with a medley of the insult songs to lead into the Creed parody is genius. Odd apology, but I respect it. “Can you please get fired…”, such a great song.

#1 Contender Match: Ace Austin w/Chris Bey vs Trey Miguel w/Zachary Wentz

Typical Junior style start with counters and some chain wrestling and then a quick tension spot where Trey slaps Ace and then they fire off on each other for a few seconds before they get broken up because its just a shmoz. Trey baits Ace to the outside, Up and Over but Ace lands on the apron and then Wentz picks the ankle as Trey feigns injury to distract the referee. Back Rake back into the ring and just insulting Knife Edge Chops at a deliberate pace. Commercial break happens and Trey is still in charge. Ace shoots the Double and turns it into a Jacknife Cradle for 2 but Ace is still visibly hobbled.

Trey tries to keep Ace grounded but he tries to fire up and Trey finds different ways to keep Ace grounded including a Running Bodyscissors into Full Mount. Kick combination rush from Trey as he goes for the Asai Moonsault to punctuate it but Ace gets the knees up. Short range Knee Strike, Click Click Boom, Corner Splash Seated Lariat spot into a Triangle Kick for 2! Ace looks to set up The Fold, Wentz distracts, Trey grabs tights! But Ace kicks out! Trey with the Backflip Back of the Head Dropkick. Bey levels Wentz and Trey is talking shit to the fans, Ace goes for the Crucifix Pin, but kicks out at 2.

Jackie Bryant Headlock Kick from Trey, but Ace blocks it. Triangle Kick misses, Ace tries to jump on him but misses, Cheeky Nandos, then Trey heads up but Ace cuts him off. They struggle on the top rope, Trey Bell Claps Ace, Ace tries to duck but Trey turns it into the Sunset Flip, locomotion float away, Ace Face Stomp into The Fold! Ace wins!

The Bald Bearded Canadians, good ole team BBC…wait…

TNA Knockouts Championship: Jordynne Grace (c) vs Miyu Yamashita

They start off respectfully, which is what you expect since Miyu is well respected in this generation. A few Headlock Takeovers, Shoulder Blocks and finally Miyu drops Jordynne with a Switchblade Kick. Miyu goes to follow up, but Jordynne catches the kick and T-Bone Suplex gives Jordynne a near fall. Juggernaut Driver early, but Miyu counters, rams Jordynne into the corner, Triangle Kick from Miyu for 2! Cravat into Knee Strikes and then a PK to the spine keeps Miyu in control. Miyu lets Jordynne up and they trade strikes a bit, Jordynne’s arms prove to be a little stronger than Miyu’s legs, takes out the legs and then the Jackhammer on the floor from Jordynne!

Jordynne tries to roll Miyu back in, but Miyu continues to roll out to buy some space, Jordynne goes for a dive and eats a foot. Miyu looks for an Apron Death Valley Driver, Jordynne fights it a while but Miyu eventually gets her over and down on the apron for 2. Miyu with a Headlock Takeover, but both ties the other one up and the ropes save the awkward but effective exchange. Strike exchange number 2. Miyu no sells a few Scoop Slams and lands Round Kicks. Spinning Backfist and Round Kick connect simultaneously for both women to drop.

Jordynne charges, Pink Striker tries to block with the front kick, but Jordynne plows through with a Back Elbow. Kinniku Buster attempt but Miyu knows how to get away from that and fights off with Knee Strikes, Jordynne is rocked but fights back up and Avalanche Back Body Drop for 2! Jordynne no sells a Roundhouse Kick, Miyu no sells a Lariat then another kick from Miyu and a Back Kick to the face for 2. Skull Kick attempt, blocked, Juggernaut Driver out of nowhere to retain!

 

Overall Score: 6.25/10

The second half of the show was pretty damn good, but God was the first half useless. Hammerstone and Deaner went on far too long, that was dumb, it looked dumb, I felt dumb watching it. Ali’s match was garbage with the stupid spot monkey indie garbage spot. If I want to watch wrestling that makes less sense than Chinese Dramas with Hindi subtitles, I’ll watch AEW and have a stroke.

Thankfully, Joe Hendry got a good chunk of time, the Trey and Ace match was pretty good and overlooking the stupid run in after match stuff, the Knockouts match itself was pretty damn good. So the new bookers have really consistently done this stuff, where there’s a ton of overbooked stupidity, but they sprinkle in enough okay stuff to make me not completely lose faith. OH – and we do get Kushida versus Gresham tomorrow, so at least that strengthens the lackluster card.

Lets see if they ever figure out how to really book, or if they eventually go full TNA 2015.


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Coverage

Mitchell’s ROH Results & Report! (5/2/24)

The Queen is chasing the crown!

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Will the One and Only become the #1 contender?

Queen Aminata wants after Athena and the ROH Women’s World Championship, but she will still earn her way to a shot, starting with a match tonight!

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • The Infantry VS The Outrunners; win(s).
  • ROH World Tag Team Championships Proving Grounds: The Undisputed Kingdom VS The Qrown; wins and
  • Aaron Solo VS Jon Cruz; wins.
  • Nyla Rose VS ???
  • Toa Liona w/ The Mogul Embassy VS ???
  • Six Man Tag: The Dark Order VS ???
  • Queen Aminata VS Robyn Renegade; wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

The Infantry VS The Outrunners!

Captain Shawn Dean & Carlie Bravo have had it with Turbo Floyd & Truth Magnum! It’s one thing to use the same finishing move and rename it, but then The Outrunners’ new gear is camouflage, and they start using the Infantry’s catchphrases! Will Turbo & Truth get sent to Boot Camp? Or will Dean & Bravo be sent into Miami Overdrive?

 


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