Andrew’s IMPACT Wrestling Results & Match Ratings: 11.2.2023

Well you know the last few weeks have been weird. Halloween is a big deal in my friend group and given everything that happened this year, I figured I’d entertain a party or get together…and they just happened to be on Thursdays and the Saturday that Bound for Glory was on. So with that being said, I shouldn’t have any inherent setbacks until Thanksgiving (since that is always on Thursdays), so we’ll get some measure of consistency at least.

I know Alex Shelley retained, I know TNA is on its way back and Will Ospreay apparently had one hell of a banger with Mike Bailey; which I still need to check out. But aside from that, I haven’t been keeping a super close eye on results, so time for one of those classic “How Fun is this episode without perfect knowledge leading up to it”!

Ratings:

• Glasgow Cup Finals: Joe Hendry vs Frankie Kazarian: Hendry wins via Cradle – *** 1/4
• Most Professional Wrestling Gods (Moose & Brian Myers) & Deonna Purrazzo vs SubCulture (Dani Luna, Mark Andrews, Flash Morgan Webster): Moose wins via Lights Out – *** 1/4
• Grado vs Trey Miguel: Grado wins via Wee Boot – *
• Trinity vs Emersyn Jane: Trinity wins via Pinfall – *
• Motor City Machine Guns vs Eric Young & Josh Alexander: Sabin wins via Cradle Shock – *** 1/2

Results:

Glasgow Cup Finals: Joe Hendry vs Frankie Kazarian

Ahh so because Turning Point is…tonight, this is more of a clip show from some of their house tours that have never been televised. Kaz versus the Scottish Hendry is smart booking for the home crowd and should be a good rub for Joe, regardless of outcome.

A slow start where Hendry seems to go with more of a World of Sport open while Frankie tries to wrestle him to the ground. Announcers do mention this is the first time in 8 years they did a major event in the UK, which any long time TNA fans will know that sounds crazy. There was a point in time when TNA was more popular in the UK than WWE thanks to their deal with…I believe it was SKY Sports?

Yes the start is basic and slow enough where a good nugget from Rehwoldt and Hannifan makes it into coverage, oh Hendry tries to get cute in the corner and Kaz just lariats him over the turnbuckle and ropes, tumbling to the outside. Commercials break leads us to more offense from Kaz, he rolls in Hendry, drops Hendry and hits the Springboard Guillotine Leg Drop. Things speed up a little after Kaz goes for a Leg Lariat in the corner. He hunts for the Chicken Wing twice and that allows Hendry to fight back and counter him. A Trust Fall into a Cutter gives Hendry his first near fall.

The crowd gets behind Hendry as he slowly rises and looks for something on Kaz, but Kaz surprises him with Fade to Black for 2. Kaz goes to the top, potentially for the Guillotine Leg Drop, but an Uppercut from Hendry into plucking him down with a Vertical Suplex leads to a small respite and then the slow rising slugfest spot. We get locomotion trading Rollups and Cradles, that Hendry eventually pulls off the 3 count! Smart to have the guy win in his home country.

.@joehendry talks about what it meant to him to win the Glasgow Cup moments ago on #IMPACTonAXSTV! NEXT UP, @SimonMiller316 at #TurningPoint TOMORROW NIGHT! pic.twitter.com/GlfEhm8aDp

— IMPACT (@IMPACTWRESTLING) November 3, 2023

Most Professional Wrestling Gods (Moose & Brian Myers) & Deonna Purrazzo vs SubCulture (Dani Luna, Mark Andrews, Flash Morgan Webster)

Myers spends the first like 40 seconds yelling at the crowd and getting chided in return. Myers is toying with Webster a little until he hits a Flipping Arm Drag, sends Myers into the corner, Double Enzuigiri with Mandrews and Dani Luna comes in to assist the boys with some Backflip Splashes. Myers sees Dani is the legal competitor, and he doesn’t feel like fighting her so tags in Deonna. Deonna gets thrown around a little and tags in Moose as they both smile at the matchup. A Collar and Elbow tie up, Moose throws Dani, then tags in Webster, same thing and Webster gets tossed, Mandrews tags in and his strikes are…not very effective.

Moose gets annoyed, charges the corner, misses, and Mandrews hits the Dropkick to give himself a moment. Myers distracts so Moose can cut him off, then Deonna comes in to keep him grounded, and a few quick tags from the heel team. When Myers gets tagged in, he gets serenaded with “Myers is a wanker”. Moose tags himself in, looks for a Jacknife Powerbomb but the Frankensteiner gives Mandrews a chance that Moose stops in midair. Myers comes back in and starts to lose the control, Deonna hits the blind tag to counter the pinfall attempt, and then takes a few cheap shots at Dani on the apron. Myers comes back in, looks for the Roster Cut but Mandrews hits a counter Enzuigiri. Both Knockouts get tagged in, and we’re getting a hard hitting power versus technique style of match until Deonna tags in Moose.

Signature spam moment from everyone which gives SubCulture the small advantage, Moose tries to cut off Webster from a top rope move, but he slips down and it takes all 3 SubCulture members to Shield Bomb Moose. Deoona and Myers break up the dogpile pinfall. We’re back to the Knockouts being legal, Russian Leg Sweep, Fujiwara Deonna, as Myers takes out Webster, Mandrews slips past Moose to break up the submission, but now Moose it working against both men. Okada Dropkick on Mandrews, plucks Webster off the top with a Superplex, but Mandrews hits the Splash on Moose as both Knockouts level each other.

Mandrews counters Moose’s Uranage, then Moose tries something else that gets countered into Stun Dog Millionaire. Some hectic moments from the rest of the team members, Mandrews dodges the first Lights Out, but not the second one off the ropes. Most Professional Wrestling Virtuosas win!

Grado vs Trey Miguel

I…hate this match. Grado was a cute gimmick initially and then eventually became insufferable, while Trey is just straight trash. If they can both lose, I would be overjoyed. He’s basically Grado is UK Toru Yano, but his stuff just feels stupid and not nearly as endearing.

Dumb joke spots start off the match like pretending to rope run which gets Trey to Leap Frog nothing twice and then miss the charge and get Table Topped. This just looks dumb…I hate everything about this. Grado’s derpy Flip Flop and Fly, looks for the Rolling Slice but eats a Superkick and then a Springboard Moonsault for 2. Trey goes for a Diving Stomp and Grado moves and hits the Death Valley Driver. Wee Boot attempt gets countered, Trey bounces off the ropes, Small Package 2 count, Trey goes back to the ropes and eats a Wee Boot for the win.

Eww…Grado wins. I need to take a shower in bleach.

Trinity vs Emersyn Jane

So Trinity is facing local talent, there’s no threat here. Trinity offers the handshake early and Jane kicks it away for Trin starts to work her over rather easily. Trin goes for the Knee Slide Slap, Jane guards which causes Trin to stop, she tries to ask to “start again” by offering her hand. So the face shakes the hand, but ducks the cheap shot and lands the Enzuigiri.

Jane gets a few big counters to make the match longer and more competitive than it had any business being, but the Bubba Bomb into the twist cover gives Trinity the win. Hard to really go into depth here since there was no suspension of disbelief.

Motor City Machine Guns vs Eric Young & Josh Alexander

Alex Shelley and Josh Alexander start off the match. Shelley and Josh start off very respectful but technical. A few clean breaks, interesting ways to get out of Top Wristlocks, and just very nice World of Sport influenced chain wrestling. Sabin tags in and the crowd demands EY, so Josh obliges. EY and Sabin have a bit more quick striking involving Shelley so we see classic MCMG tandem, not always super legal, tag team attacks. EY manages to eventually counter the Guns team work and get Josh back in the match when Shelley is the legal wrestler.

Both men show great recognition of each other’s move set given their recent singles encounter. Numerous counters, every Ankle Lock attempt had Sabin fly in to break things up. But repeated Dragon Screws from the Guns after Shelley knocks EY off the apron, gives the Guns a solid advantage. Sabin tags in the the Dragon Screws and leg focus continues. Sabin with the Liger-esque Surfboard into the Knee capture double stomp, Wishbone and double Soccer Kick. Shelley continues to work the legs though, leg lace into a Reverse Figure Four. Shelley uses about four and a half of the five count, Shelley then locks in the OG Figure Four, EY tries to break it up but Sabin stops him and we have Stereo Figure Fours until the breaks happen. Shelley keeps the pressure up but a desperation Fisherman’s Suplex gives Josh breathing room.

EY tags in, Crucifix Pin attempt, Northern Lights Suplex Hold, but only 2 counts. EY keeps rolling, takes out Sabin, looks for the Piledriver but Shelley counters that. Shelley looks for Sabin doesn’t see him so he has to plant EY into the middle Turnbuckle. Sabin pops up, tags in, Missile Dropkick but then Josh comes in. Two German Suplexes, the third is blocked but turned into a Belly to Belly. Running Kick from Sabin, EY breaks up the pinfall but now the Guns with some tandem moves. Dropkick/Flatliner combination for 2. Sabin moves close, Josh hits the Drop Toe Hold for the Ankle Lock. Sabin tries for the ropes, Josh says no and turns the Ankle Lock into a Sharpshooter but Sabin grabs the ropes. Team Canada 2023 tries a Doomsday Device but Sabin slips it and pushes Josh into the perched EY. Cradle Shock levels Josh, then Sabin goes for EY. EY bites him, hits the Macho Elbow for 2. EY looks for something else but the Springboard Tornado DDT stalls EY. Cradle Shock from Sabin into the Jacknife cover and MCMG win!

Overall Score: 7.25/10

Well they did a good job at reminding people of the Turning Point card as well as getting over the fact that in 2024 we’re getting the TNA return. Glasgow was a fun environment, the matches were generally okay even if I hate Trey and Grado, it makes complete sense in Scotland.

Glasgow Cup was a good idea, six man with UK talent was fun and Guns vs Canada Squad was a pretty damn good match. So its really hard to complain about the show even if it wasn’t a typical show. Fun matches, fun announcer nuggets and the crowd was cool.

Turning Point should be a good time.