Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 6.27.2024

We’re continuing the Road to Slammiversary qualifiers and generally building the storylines. Jordynne will probably confront ASH by Elegance after the interaction last week, we could get more information on exactly how JDC plays into The System and The ABC wanted to prove they were ready for a tag title shot, so we get to see what or who their litmus test is.

I expect a lot of building blocks, so maybe still nothing of heavy must-see stature, but here’s to hoping its decent!

Ratings:

• Masha Slamovich w/Alisha Edwards vs Xia Brookside: Masha wins via Russian Death Device – ** 1/2
• The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey) vs The Deaners (Jake Something & Cody Deaner) vs The Rascalz (Trey Miguel & Zachary Wentz): ABC win via 1-2-Sweet – ** 1/4
• Road to Slammiversary Qualifier: Steve Maclin vs Sami Callihan: Maclin wins via Rope Hung KIA – ***
• Kushida vs Alan Angels: Kushida wins via Hoverboard Lock – * 1/2
• Road to Slammiversary Qualifier: Nic Nemeth vs Rich Swann: Nic Nemeth wins via Danger Zone – *** 1/4

Results:

Things open up with Thicc Mama Pump Jordynne Grace coming out to the ring for an interview with Gia Miller. Jordynne says she talked to Santino about a match with ASH, and its for TONIGHT! Concierge and ASH come out to explain that they read the contract and made an amendment, the match will happen at Slammiversary. ASH and Concierge send security to go escort her out because ‘she’s violent’, and Jordynne beats the hell out of them. 

Masha Slamovich w/Alisha Edwards vs Xia Brookside

World of Sport chain wrestling opening, with Xia getting out of an Arm Wringer, Headlock Takeover from Xia, but Masha stands up, posts Xia in the corner, but when Masha tries to charge in to continue, Xia raises a foot, works Masha into an opposite corner, a corner Rocket Launcher with Xia’s little dance flair, before Masha powders and Xia goes for the Dive but Alisha grabs her foot. This turns the tide of momentum and now Xia is getting worked over, choked against the ropes and Alisha gets involved again leading to a Snap Suplex from Masha for a near fall. Short Arm Lariats, Garvin Stomps, and Xia keeps fighting back up. Masha misses two Sambo Kicks, Xia hits a Flurry of Shoteis, rope run into a Headscissors Takedown which causes Masha to retreat to the corner and eat Broken Wings into a Neckbreaker.

Xia connects with a Knee Lift, Alisha tries to get involved again, but Xia clocks her, but Masha takes advantage of the opening, Roundhouse Kick connects into the Russian Death Device! Masha wins!

https://x.com/i/status/1806482393785934081

So AJ Francis buys a classic belt, the International Heavyweight Championship, former MAC World Heavyweight Championship. He declares himself the new champion of a belt that’s been deactivated since 1975. If this is just some attempt at psychological warfare against PCO to bring out the man over the monster, it has my attention. 

Mustafa Ali comes out to address the tape, he basically says it was an AI generated Deepfake. A small chant for we want Speedball starts, Ali shuts it down and kicks out the people chanting against him. Nice reference to Trump kicking out certain media outlets who are against him. A ‘fan’ throws a drink in Ali’s face, Ali attacks the plant, goes crazy and Speedball makes the save for the fan. Bailey and Ali get separated, Ali starts attacking Speedball, and I guess we have our Slammiversary match set up right here. Ali makes a declaration that he’s sick of people saying he’s scared of Speedball and just over it, so Ali challenges Speedball just to silence the doubters.

The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey) vs The Deaners (Jake Something & Cody Deaner) vs The Rascalz (Trey Miguel & Zachary Wentz)

Jake is relegated to tag team stupidity with a fucking moron now? Why can’t they ever push this damn man? Why must you weigh him down with a piece of garbage like Deaner? If you’re gonna start and stop with Jake all the damn time, just fire him, its infuriating to try and watch.

Rascalz get split apart and shared between the two ‘babyface’ teams. Deaner starts with Trey in the ring, and Cody is still asking dumb things to the audience. Deaner doesn’t have “Go Away” heat, he has “Get hit by bus, watch the bus kick it into reverse to run him over again, and then shoot him in the head” heat. I can’t bring myself to care about this match until Cody is out of the ring. He’s a dweeb, he ain’t winning shit, so he’s a larger waste of space than Yoshi Hashi. Oh after Deaner bores me for a few minutes, Ace finally tags himself in and Cody out, so he wipes out the Rascalz, hits the Wheelbarrow Side Slam, Click Click Boom, and Bey and Wentz get in so we get some quick tandem shenanigans. Rascalz do get the best of things, Assisted Shotgun Dropkicks into the corner, Superkick, Backbend, Tandem Double Stomp, as Bey breaks the pin. Jake tags himself in by Chopping Trey across the chest, and just runs over all four of the smaller competitors and lands a Sitout Powerbomb on Ace! Rascalz with the Double Superkick Save, Kick Flurry, Wentz dives on to Jake but Jake shrugs it off, Trey tries the 619 Fakeout into the Headscissors, but Jake rolls through twice to Powerbomb Trey into Wentz, Ace tries his handstand dodge and Jake just grabs him  and Dumps him Release Brainbuster style on The Rascalz. Jake gets neutralized with help of the ropes, 1-2-Sweet from ABC pin Deaner, to literally no one’s surprise.

Deaner is a complete waste of space.

Road to Slammiversary Qualifier: Steve Maclin vs Sami Callihan

Maclin opens immediately with the Busaiku Knee! Tries the Jar-Headbutt, but misses and Sami rushes the Cactus Driver! 1-2-Kick out! So the fast flurry turns into both men trading shots and things just being more of a brawl. Maclin gets the early advantage with a Lariat, Sami powders, Maclin tries the SCUD and Sami sidesteps and connects with a Forearm to the temple. Sami feeds Maclin back in, gets through the ropes and EATS A BUSAIKU KNEE! Jar-Headbutt connects for a near fall!

They go outside and Maclin starts bouncing Sami’s face off the post, Maclin runs along the apron and hits a Mick Foley style Elbow Drop! Both are exhausted, take until the 8 count to get back in the ring and then start throwing hands. Strike exchanges, Maclin hits a Backbreaker for a near fall but Callihan grabs the rope and refuses to go with the Suplex. Callihan shifts his weight and rolls over Maclin, Maclin charges and Sami catches him into a T-Bone Suplex and both sell for a standing count. Sami drags Maclin to the corner, brings him to the top and is looking for an Avalanche Cactus Driver, but Maclin blocks it, big Forearm stops it and then his starts clubbing Sami across the face and chest. But Sami grabs Maclin, Avalanche Death Valley Driver, Cactus Driver ’97; MACLIN KICKS OUT! Sami tries another Cactus Driver from the apron to the floor, but Maclin fights him off, they trade shots and headbutts, but Sami Lariats Maclin back into the ring. Sami slowly heads back in, eats a Sideswipe Busaiku Knee! Rope Hung KIA (Green Killer if you will), and Maclin wins!

Kushida vs Alan Angels

Angels tries to attack Kushida before the bell because he’s garbage, but Kushida avoids Angel’s attempts at trying to wrestle. Kushida Soccer Kick’s the arm, Angels goes to the ropes and ends up using the rope to Stun Gun Kushida and starts working over Kushida, Corner Splash into a Neckbreaker for a quick near fall, but Kushida is looking like a dork giving Angels offense. Angels has Kushida in a Headlock and the stereotypical fight back up with the crowd claps spot, and Kushida hits a few kicks, goes for his Springboard Back Elbow but Angels Dropkicks him out of the ring. Angels cockily heads out to collect Kushida, but Kushida grabs an Armbreaker and then DDT’s the Arm on the outside. A little rope run, Angels tries a Springboard move but Kushida connects with the Tanaka Punch and then Hoverboard Lock to win.

Match was entirely too close to competitive. But Gresham attacks Kushida after, tries to give Kushida the Inky Hawk Tuah, but the referees and security stop it.

https://x.com/i/status/1806501016789020919

Road to Slammiversary Qualifier: Nic Nemeth vs Rich Swann

Rich comes out with AJ Francis and DJ Whoo Kid. AJ Francis going full Ryouji Sai is very amusing to me, but like I said earlier, if this is an angle to provoke the human side of PCO, I could dig on this International Heavyweight title. 

Early on there’s not a ton of important contact, Rich powders to embrace AJ and just be a generally chiding asshat, he even calls up DJ Whoo Kid to give him a drink like a corner man. AJ gets involved, the referee is distracted with Whoo Kid and Rich, AJ cracks Nic with a can of Gin & Juice, Rich rolls him up, but he kicks out. Rich tries to distract the referee again, but this time he catches AJ mid wind up, and ejects AJ Francis. Even with the ejection, Rich keeps a few kicks and back elbows flying, so Nemeth hasn’t quite been able to find an angle into the match. His momentary spurts get instantly stopped by Rich. Spinning Backfist by Rich into a Snapping Round Kick to the face. Nic retreats to a corner and manages to keep Rich at bay with some Push Kicks. Nic hits a Flying Bodypress, into a Splash in the corner, then a Neckbreaker and hits multitude of Elbows for a near fall. Rich retreats this time and keeps Nic at kicking distance, Flying Seated Clothesline from Rich gives him a near fall, but now the momentum has left Nemeth.

Rich tries to Spear Nic in the corner, misses and bounces out, FAME ASS-ER! Rear Naked Choke from Nic, but Rich fights to his feet, grabs the ropes, Danger Zone attempt, but Rich keeps hold of the ropes and then hits a big kick to the dome for a 2 count. Rich goes for the Middle Rope Frog Splash, but Nic gets his knees up and turns it into a Cradle, only 2. Rich snaps off a kick Spinning Heel Kick into a Lethal Injection for 2! Fighting Spirit spot as the fists fly. Headbutts, Traded Superkicks, Jumping DDT into Danger Zone from Nic!

Overall Score: 6/10

The expected people won the qualifying matches, AJ Francis resurrected a defunct belt from PCO’s past, Cody Deaner is more useless than Biden in a debate, Mustafa Ali became unhinged and Xia Brookside is…still goddamn adorable. WHY DID SHE HAVE TO HAVE A DECENT MATCH! I have openly cringed and hated at her wrestling since 2017, but somehow in this last month she has turned a corner OR I hit my head entirely too hard. Xia is really bringing out my inner Tsundere, because I don’t want to like her, I liked when I thought she was trash, so I t-t-totally don’t like you, Xia BAKAside! *huffs off to a vending machine for coffee*

Onto more important things, Steve Maclin and Nic Nemeth were the right choices today to win. All of house Hardy being in action in Philly is fun information, Reby and Matt vs Eddie and Alisha, Jeff will be in action as well, so that should finish selling out the 2300 Arena if it wasn’t already. But some of the bad stuff was honestly, the whole premise for the ASH and Jordynne open was stupid and convoluted, especially with a heel demanding security remove the champion from the ring because of “past aggression” but nothing that happened today…that’s just dumb. Also Jonathan Gresham’s character is dead in the water. They murdered the octopus in a month. This character seems desperate and pathetic after only like a month of existing. Good job ruining a potentially interesting gimmick.

Complaints aside, the episode was fine. It didn’t really do anything to WOW people, but in was inoffensive and added a little more clarity to Slammiversary.