Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 12.5.2024

Two more shows left until Final Resolution, and then that’s probably the end of “new content” from TNA until 2025. With how miserably bad Turning Point was, and a bunch of the lead up shows were awful as well…I guess it might not be a bad thought to give them some time to cook because this ain’t it. TNA really needs someone who can write logical stories, I don’t anticipate anything groundbreaking, but logic and keeping the perception of factions correct isn’t difficult.

Also I’m looking forward to a few weeks away from how much I’ve been disappointed in the recent weeks. The TNA name coming back was the point that sold all the hype this year, and they did literally everything wrong all year. They’re just riding on brand nostalgia, but when that runs out…I fear for how badly the product as been lately.

Ratings:

• Number 1 Contender 5 Way: Ace Austin vs Trent Seven vs Kushida vs Leon Slater vs JDC: Kushida wins via Back to the Future – ***
• PCO & Sami Callihan vs The Good Hands: PCO wins via Quebecer’s Crash – ** 1/4
• TNA Tag Team Championships: The Hardyz (c) vs The System w/Alisha: Hardyz retain via DQ – **
• Tasha Steelz vs Jordynne Grace: Tasha wins via Victory Roll w/feet on ropes – **
• Jonathan Gresham, Eric Young, Mike Santana & Steve Maclin vs The Northern Armoury & Frankie Kazarian: Armoury wins via Shenanigans – **

Results:

Number 1 Contender 5 Way: Ace Austin vs Trent Seven vs Kushida vs Leon Slater vs JDC

Kushida, Ace and Trent are the early ones to stay in the ring, Trent takes advantage of things a little, Leon flies in for something opportunistic, but Trent catches him and looks for The Bitter End, but Slater counters that and now we get into Dive cut offs, brawls and then Ace hitting a Fosbury Flop for good measure. JDC and Kushida both look to slow down Ace, but Ace does his apron antics to avoid contact and land a PK. He looks for the Triangle Kick but Trent puts the brakes on that, and now Trent and JDC have a heels alliance against Ace. After a few quick strikes, Leon comes in and breaks up the double team, but then the doubles turn on Leon.

We get the typical shenanigans of quick spots and then JDC is the heel to try and turn on Trent, which causes a pause for explanation but then everyone comes in for a signature spam. Kushida misses his Back Handspring Elbow, and Ace catches him with an Art of Finesse. Ace goes to the top, Kushida cuts him off, Spanish Fly Avalanche Cross Arm Breaker! Ace looks like he might tap, but Leon flies out of nowhere with the Crossover Splash and then jumps over to post to wipe out Ace and Kushida. Leon throws Kushida in and heads up to the top to try and finish the match but Trent and JDC brawl into Leon. Ace runs up Trent and JDC, Superplex on Leon, Bop and Bang from Trent, Ace looks for The Fold, but Leon stops it, JDC forces Leon off the top rope, Kushida hits the Soccer Ball Kick counter to a Back Handspring and then hits BACK TO THE FUTURE! Kushida wins and will challenge Moose for the X Division title at Final Resolution.

It’s been a hot minute since I’ve seen God’s Last Gift, so that’s always nice when Kushida breaks it out. 

.@MeanGiaMiller caught up with @RealTSteelz ahead her match tonight against @JordynneGrace on #TNAiMPACT!

Watch #TNAiMPACT now on TNA+: https://t.co/23FHrQ2oMH pic.twitter.com/1hl6nsTdC3

— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) December 6, 2024

PCO & Sami Callihan vs The Good Hands

Callihan and Hotch start, and Hotch eats a few Knife Edge Chops, into a big toss across and then PCO gets tagged in for a quick right hand. Hotch tries to send PCO into the ropes and avoid him to pick his spot, but PCO just runs him over and Hotch falls out of the ring. Skyler starts trying to protect Hotch on the outside, PCO lets the be dumb, Skyler officially tags in and eats a right hand from PCO, PCO tags back in Sami and a tandem Brain Chop for fun. Callihan hits the ropes to continue momentum but Hotch takes a cheap shot, Callihan gets distracted so finally the Good Hands take a little bit of control after a Slingshot Spear from Skyler and Rolling Neckbreaker from Hotch. Skyler leans on Sami, tries to keep him down but a big Lariat causes the simultaneous tag out and now Hotch it treated like PCO’s personal hackysack.

The Jabroni Hands try to double team PCO and fail, PCO tags in Sami, PCO Double DDTs the Hands, they powder and Sami gives PCO the Back Body Drop assist on his Senton to the outside, so he goes over the top rope and into the dorks. Sami brings Skyler in, makes sure he’s not fighting back and tags PCO back in, PCO heads to the top and Sami raises his hands, the ole Quebecer’s Crash! PCO and Sami win!

After the match we get a weird tron of the number 23 flashing a few times. Michael Jordan, Jim Carey, who is it?

TNA Tag Team Championships: The Hardyz (c) vs The System w/Alisha

As is the usual with System matches, they are completely useless in the beginning. Hardyz hit a few classic spots with the Tandem Polish Hammer on the extended arm and the corner buckle face smashes, but then Myers powders so the heels can be heeling, Matt gets tripped and then we go to picture in picture because of course we do. So here comes the slow heel offense for about 2 minutes until the commercials end just in time for the comeback. No one wants to hear about Snapmares, rest holds and futile attempts to fight out of the System corner because I need to know more about Super Beets.

We come back, Myers is focusing the left leg so Matt hobbles more than usual and he’s in a half hearted Stump Puller, but Myers is doing it mostly to send a message. Myers goes for the home run shot, loads up the Roster Cut…but Matt catches him with the Side Effect! Jeff and Eddie come in and Jeff has full control until Myers cuts off the momentum just in time to for both to eat a Whisper in the Wind! Myers hits an Edge-esque Spear but Jeff kicks out at two. They go for System Overload, but Jeff slips it, shoved Eddie into Myers, then Matt comes in and Plot Twist! Myers has to break the count, but the Hardyz are rolling, they go full Hardy and find a table! Both trade a few shots, the Hardyz look to put the System through the table but Lish takes Kendra to the Hardyz to force a disqualification!

Eddie hits a Boston Knee Party on Jeff into the steps, Matt tries to fight back, but his laid out on the table. Lish beats Jeff a few times, chokes Matt, and then Myers and Eddie go for a Tandem Crucifix Bomb on Jeff through Matt on the table, and the table breaks nice.

I’m guessing this gets dragged out to Final Resolution, as long as its a decent match…I’m fine with that. Spitfire has promo, and I repeat, I love Dani Luna…but Jody Threat is worthless and cringe.

Tasha Steelz vs Jordynne Grace

Jordynne comes out in a Kojima inspired outfit and if she loses here…then I guess she’s on the putting people over on her way out side of the game. 

Rosemary is looming in the rafters as Tasha and Jordynne don’t really do much of anything early. Tasha tries a Sunset Flip but Jordynne won’t budge, Tasha tries something but eats a Back Fist into a Snap Gutwrench Reverse Side Suplex and then just shoves Tasha into the corner, tries to beat on her on the way up for a Superplex, but Tasha slips it, tucks Jordynne’s head against the top rope, Cheeky Nandos into a Springboard Stomp to give Tasha some offense and to give us an official commercial break.

Returning, commentary makes sure to let us know Tasha was in control the whole time but Jordynne of course starts working towards a comeback. Tasha tries an Avalanche Sunset Bomb, but fails and ends up hitting what looks more like an Avalanche Landslide. Steelz tries the Blackout, Enzuigiri, and tries again but Jordynne catches her and Release Overhead German Suplex puts the ball back in Jordynne’s court. After trading a few strikes, Jordynne connects with the Backfist, then Kudome Valentine for two! Jordynne rams Tasha’s head into the buckles, referee breaks it, Tasha tries the Sliced Bread but no, Jordynne tries the Vader Bomb, but Tasha kicks her feet out, Tasha tries the Hanging Backstabber but Jordynne holds on, hits a Vader Bomb, looks for another corner move but Tasha flashes up and connects on the Sliced Bread for both to sell. Jordynne gets the best of the subsequent attacks, Short Arm Lariats is giving the advantage but Jordynne looks increasingly more annoyed. Lish comes back out with Kendra to distract Jordynne, Tasha tries a Schoolboy but Jordynne kicks out. Looks for the Kinikku Buster, Lish distracts again, Victory Roll from Tasha with feet on ropes.

Tasha wins, it devolves into Lish and Tasha beating on Jordynne, so Masha comes out to make the save.

Joe Hendry comes out to join commentary, because of course he does. When they don’t want to put a damn title on him, they just shoehorn in other way to make sure he’s on the show. It’s a very tired trope. 

Jonathan Gresham, Eric Young, Mike Santana & Steve Maclin vs The Northern Armoury & Frankie Kazarian

Things just start off as an all out brawl until 26 referees come out and try to settle the jimmies that got rustled. Bell finally rings and its Gresham against the bald jabroni. Couple quick chops and a snap Vertical Suplex from Gresham force bald jabroni to tag out to Josh. Josh’s comes out a little arrogant, but a Soccer Ball kick to the hand and Octopus attempt forces bald jabroni back in, Gresham levels him but it gives Josh a chance to fight back. Jabroni with hair tags in, immediately loses control and Gresham tags out to Maclin who hits a Backbreaker and clubbing blows in the corner across the shoulder blades. OH bald jabroni tries something but Maclin puts both losers in Tree of Woe, Caught in Crosshairs hits on bald, hair sits up, Maclin saves himself from posting himself, jabroni with hair tries to go after him and then Maclin beats the hell out of the jabroni. Josh distracts Maclin so jabroni can roll in and tag out to Kaz. Kaz hits the Springboard Leg Drop as Maclin slides back in, and now we go to picture in picture with the heels throwing Maclin into their corner and taking turns hitting offense.

Coming back, Eric Young already started the comeback, he heads to the top rope for the Macho Elbow but one of the jabronis hits the ropes and EY takes an ugly crash down. Josh tags in Kaz, Kaz starts working over EY, throws him into the corner so EY does the Flair Flop, blocks Kaz’s attack, tries to slide in but the heels grab EY and beat the hell out of him while the ref is distracted with the face team. A chant of “ref you suck” is actually quite loud. Kaz hits a Suplex and meticulously lays in offense on EY. Kaz shoots him in, telegraphs and almost eats a Piledriver, but Kaz counters it into Fade to Black, but EY gets out of that. They run the ropes and Lariat spot for both to drop. Simultaneous tag, Santana is in and one of the jabroni’s is legal I think but all the heels come in, faces fight him off, jabroni squad tries to double team Santana but he gets the best of things with a Double Rolling Buck Fifty for a near fall. Josh pulls out jabroni with hair to stop Santana’s momentum, Maclin flies into Josh, jabroni duo keeps trying to stay on Santana, but Santana gets the best of things, tags in Gresham and it’s buttery smooth how Gresham comes in and starts with sweeps, takedowns, interesting ground combat. Heels try to all in and keep away with Gresham, but Maclin breaks up the pinfall by just flying into a jabroni and having him fall into the pinfall.

Gresham locks in the Octopus, but the heels distract the referee because this ref is stupid, Kaz comes up from behind Gresham and clocks him with the Call Your Shot Trophy. So the heels win.

Overall Score: 4.5/10

The only match that really mattered was the opener because we know Kushida versus Moose is gonna be a good match, so it guarantees at least one thing to look forward to. The rest of the show either ended in overbooked gimmick stupidity, or involved Tasha Steelz which just encapsulates how bad the Knockouts Division is if after we run out of Masha vs Jordynne we get Tasha as the filler match to save Masha versus Rosemary for Genesis (is my guess).

But when all of these outcomes look like nothing more than filler until we get to Genesis, its hard to care because literally nothing matter until 2025. When you can’t add a measure of tension in your angles TO GET TO THE PLE, then there is no tension for the match at the PLE. So if TNA is saying none of this really matters, surely this can’t be a good episode.

Now if you’re a more casual fan of wrestling in general, or a fan of the Hardyz, maybe you care a little more about The System getting their comeuppances. But that’s build on 20 years of nostalgia, not anything TNA has really done. This is the equivalent of someone kicking Tom Hanks in the balls. We hate the person who did it, not because of why or any story…but because of who he did it to. Easy and lazy booking, so this gets an easy and lazy 4.5/10.