The Legend of Zelda: The Ring of Destiny, Chapter 78

Golden opportunities are so close, the stars of HPW can almost taste them! But who will be going to HyruleMania with golden tickets in hand?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

• Moon Madness – Princess Plate: Zelda VS Majora; Zelda wins.
• HPW World Trios Championships #1 Contenders Elimination Triple Threat: Arrow Club VS Forged By Violence VS The Gerudo Sisterhood; The Gerudo Sisterhood wins and will challenge The MagicaLadies for the titles at HyruleMania.
• HPW Death Mountain Championship Six Pack Qualifier: El Toro Blanco VS Iron Knuckle VS Torbevito VS The Great Fairy VS Grim Creeper VS Mipha; Grim Creeper loses, the rest advance to HyruleMania.
• HPW Goddess Championship “Just Desserts” No Disqualifications Match: Tali w/ Shabonne VS Ladrona; Tali wins and retains the title.
• Undisputed HPW Triforce World Championship #1 Contender’s Triple Threat: Link VS Kage VS GANON; No Contest, ALL THREE will challenge for the title at HyruleMania.

PLAY BY PLAY

HPW and HXS TV set the scene!

It’s that time of year again. Families and friends gather together around the table to share a meal, give thanks, and enjoy each other’s company. And maybe, just maybe, they tune in to watch the stars of HPW do anything but that! The chaos from Clash of Fates spills over and heats up tonight’s main event as Link, Kage and Ganon all battle to be THE #1 contender to the Undisputed HPW Triforce World Championship! Will it be the Hero of Hyrule, the Hero’s Shadow, or the Gerudo Ace that heads for HyruleMania?

But they’re not the only ones fighting for their spot on New Year’s Eve! HPW serves up another Death Mountain Championship Six Pack Challenge Qualifier, and only the strong survive! Who will take the loss and be on the outside looking in? Plus, three Trios battle until there’s only one team left, all to challenge for the HPW World Trios Championships! Arrow Club, Forged By Violence or The Gerudo Sisterhood, who will meet the MagicaLadies at the end of the year?

The HPW Goddess Championship has hot potato’d just a bit, going from Ruto to Ladrona to Tali. But the Desert Colossus used a bit of chicanery to cheat that title off the Thief Girl, will she pay the price for it? Or will Tali defeat Ladrona once and for all? But first, The Princess of Hyrule is in action for a massive “appetizer!” She wants revenge on Majora for his part to play at Clash of Fates, will she be satisfied? Or is she just falling for a trap? HPW Fyter Feast in Irch Plain starts now!

Moon Madness – Princess Plate: Zelda VS Majora!

This isn’t about the title, but a matter of respect! The Monster Mask went after the King of Hyrule to hijack the Hyrule Warriors match, and now the Princess of Hyrule, THE Undisputed Triforce World Champion, needs to teach him a lesson! But will Zelda be able to keep up as the orders fly in? Or will it be all too much for her to stomach?

The introductions are made, and it’s time to spin the wheel! The first “serving” will be…

First Blood!

Oh, well, that’s certainly a brutal way to start this. The bell rings and we’ve got three minutes, but Zelda is right on Majora! The fans fire up as Zelda throws furious fists and backs Majora into a corner! Zelda climbs up and rains down fists so fast, the fans have a hard time keeping up! She goes past TEN, and all the way to TWENTY! The fans fire up as Zelda then CLAWS at Majora’s face! The ref reprimands but that’s all he can do before Majora SHOVES Zelda away. Zelda tumbles but gets to her feet, TORPEDO MAJORA!! The fans boo and Majora covers, but the ref reminds him, this is First Blood!

Majora is furious, he HAMMERS Zelda, then looks around at the ring. Majora goes to a corner and he starts untying buckle pads! The fans boo but he’s exposed the top buckle while Zelda shakes out the stars. Zelda stands as Majora has loosened the middle buckle pad. Zelda runs up and DROPKICKS Majora into the bare buckles! Majora sputters and coughs, it hit him high in the chest as opposed to the head. Zelda hurries to CHOP BLOCK Majora’s leg to get him down! The fans fire up as Zelda ELBOWS Majora in the head again and again! Majora claws at Zelda, but Zelda grabs his hands and pulls his arms into the motorcycle stretch!

The fans cheer as Majora endures, but time is running out on the round. Zelda digs her boot into Majora’s back, then STOMPS him down! The fans fire up, and Zelda goes outside the ring. Zelda grabs a chair and she brings it into the ring, and the fans fire up as she takes aim. Majora sits up, HEADSHOT! The fans go nuts as Majora flops over, the ref checks Majora’s forehead, but still no blood. Time is ticking away as Zelda JAMS Majora in the gut with the chair! “Three! Two! One! BRR!” The wheel spins again, and now we’re “served…”

Dog Collar Match!

Zelda throws the chair down in frustration while the ring crew brings the dog collar to the ring. Zelda backs off to take her collar and put it on. Majora coughs and sputters but he rises up to take his collar. The bell rings again and we have another three minutes. Zelda and Majora tug-o-war with the chain right away, and it is a dead heat as Majora is bigger but he’s also more beat up! Majora reaches for ropes, but that lets Zelda gain ground. The fans rally as Zelda reels Majora in little by little. Majora manages to grab the ropes with one hand, but then Zelda stops pulling to run up and CLOBBER Majora against the ropes!

The fans cheer as Zelda fires off on Majora again! She KICKS, KICKS, and KICKS Majora against the ropes! Zelda then gathers up the slack in the chain to LASH Majora with it! The fans fire up again while Majora writhes! Majora tries to crawl but he can’t get away as Zelda holds him back. And she LASHES him again! Zelda drags Majora from the ropes and CHOKES him with the collar! The fans rally while Majora kicks and flails, but Zelda stops choking him to get an ARMBAR! The fans cheer while Majora endures! Majora grabs the chain and pulls! The fans boo but Majora uses this to roll and stack Zelda for a cover, TWO!

Zelda lets go of the arm, but Majora YANKS the chain to reel her in! SPINEBUSTER! The fans boo while Majora seethes as he looms over Zelda. Majora uses the chain to sit Zelda up, then reaches down to facelock and deadlift into a suplex! Majora SLAMS Zelda down, then covers, TWO! The fans cheer but Majora grows frustrated, and he drags Zelda around by the chain! The fans boo again, but Majora puts her in the corner. Majora stomps a mudhole, and for a very long time because of the no disqualifications. Majora finally stops after at least ten stomps, then drags her out of the corner by the legs. Majora turns her over for the SAND CRAB!

The fans boo but Zelda endures, and the countdown is back! The third “serving” is…

Bull Rope Match!

The ring staff hurries back in, and the ref says Majora has to stop so they can put the bull rope on them! Majora is confused and furious but this saves Zelda from the Sand Crab! The dog collars are taken off while Zelda coughs and sputters, and she manages to stand up to strap on the bull rope’s cuff. Majora seethes at what he calls a clear bias, and the bell rings for the new round. Majora rushes Zelda and CLOBBERS her against the ropes! The fans boo but now Majora uses the bull rope slack to LASH Zelda! And LASH her again, and again, and again! The fans boo more while Zelda writhes and Majora soaks up the heat.

Majora drags Zelda up by her arm, scoops, and BACKBREAKER! The fans boo again as Majora bends Zelda back against his knee. Zelda endures, then kicks at Majora from below! The fans cheer as Zelda kicks free, and then she UP KICKS Majora! Majora staggers, Zelda reels him back in with the rope, and drags him down into a cradle! TWO, the two watch for the bull rope, and Zelda KICKS Majora in the leg! And KICKS! And KICKS! The fans fire up while Majora hobbles around, and then Zelda uses the rope to bring Majora around. Zelda slides under Majora, and she uses the bull rope to pump handle Majora into a cradle! TWO!!

Majora narrowly escapes the modified Minuet of the Forest, but Zelda jumps on for a GUILLOTINE FACELOCK! The fans fire up as Majora endures! Majora fires body shots, but Zelda lets go of the facelock, while keeping the body scissors! She sits up to get the arm and has the KIMURA! The fans fire up as Majora endures all over again! Majora reaches out for the ring ropes, but then Zelda lets go of the Kimura to wrap the bull rope around Majora’s neck! The fans go nuts as Zelda CHOKES Majora! Majora drops to his knees, Zelda lets the body scissors go, and the fans cheer as she pulls harder on the bull rope!

Majora grabs at the rope and THROWS Zelda off! Majora frees himself from the choke and the countdown is back! Majora uses the rope to YANK Zelda in for a BACKDROP as the wheel spins! The “fourth” serving is…

Biker Chain Match!

Zelda lands hard on the mat while the ring staff throws in the heavy metal chain. Zelda reaches out for it, but Majora ELBOW DROPS on her back! The fans boo but Majora HAMMERS away on Zelda’s back and shoulders! Majora huffs ‘n’ puffs as he looms over Zelda, but she still reaches out. Majora takes the chain for his own, and he wraps it around her neck! Majora CHOKES Zelda using the chain! The fans boo as Zelda endures being choked and bent back! Majora lets go, but then uses the chain in a waistlock for a deadlift GERMAN SUPLEX! Bridging cover, TWO!! Zelda survives but Majora is furious. He rips the bull rope away from his wrist to go to the corner.

Majora aims at Zelda and the fans boo as hard as they can. Zelda stands up, TORPEDO- CHAIN FIST!! Zelda hits Majora first!! The fans go nuts while both are down on the mat! The ref checks them both, and somehow Majora is still in this. A standing count begins, and Zelda crawls backwards to the ropes. Zelda watches Majora stir as the count climbs to 5 of 10, and she uses the ropes to stand at 6. Majora sits up slowly, and he rolls out of the ring to be safe at 8. Zelda shakes out the hand that used the chain to punch before she goes outside. Zelda creeps around the way, chain at the ready, and she runs up on Majora!

Zelda DECKS Majora with another CHAIN FIST!! The fans fire up while Majora falls in a heap! Zelda drops the chain and shakes her hand out again. That attack is proving to be double-edged, but Zelda drags Majora up off the ground. But he’s dead weight and she’s got a bad hand! Zelda still forces Majora up and props him against the apron. Zelda shoves Majora into the ring, then pushes him from the ropes to cover, TWO!! Majora barely survives and Zelda is beside herself! Zelda grabs the bull rope to LASH Majora with it again and again! Majora flounders as Zelda LASHES him again, and then the countdown is back! The “fifth” serving is…

Barbed Wire Match!

The fans go nuts as the ring staff brings out several spools of barbed wire! They do their best to wrap the ring ropes and corner posts, but that’s as far as they go. Zelda is wary as she drags Majora back up. And then Majora SHOVES her into the ropes! The fans either boo or wince as Zelda hits the barbed wire! Zelda staggers, Majora runs up, but Zelda dodges! Majora runs into the barbed wire and now the fans cheer! Majora staggers back, Zelda jumps up, POISON-RANA! The fans fire up, and then freak out as Majora is right back up! TORPEDO MAJORA!! Both Zelda and Majora are down and the fans go nuts again!

“This is Awesome!” as both Zelda and Majora stir. The ref checks them again, they’re both still in this, so another standing count starts. Zelda and Majora crawl towards the ropes, Majora reaches out, but he pokes his hand on the barbs! Majora falls back while clutching that hand, but Zelda stands on her own. Zelda goes after Majora and that bad hand! The fans fire up but Majora fights the Impa Lock! Majora stands with Zelda as a backpack, RAMS her into a corner, and is free. Majora huffs and puffs and stomps Zelda in the corner. Majora drags Zelda up to put her on the top rope, then he climbs up after her.

The fans rally for Zelda and she throws body shots. Zelda then HYLIAN KISS HEADBUTTS Majora down! The fans fire up as Zelda adjusts up top, and MISSILE DROPKICKS! They’re both down again and the countdown is here! The sixth “serving” is…

I Quit Match!

The fans go nuts again as things really escalate! Zelda rises, and she looks at everything strewn around the ring. Zelda gathers up the dog collar, the bull rope, and even the biker chain. Zelda LASHES Majora with the biker chain! Majora writhes, and Zelda clamps the dog collar back on him. Then she LASHES him with the biker chain again before she uses the chain to tie up his hands behind his back! She stomps him as he resists, and then LASHES him with the bull rope. Zelda throws the dog collar up and over the top rope, then she slides out under the bottom rope. Zelda pulls on the collar to reel Majora into the barbed wire!

The fans fire up while Majora suffers! Majora can’t get at the collar because his hands are tied up! Zelda uses her entire body weight to pull Majora back! The fans chant “QUIT! QUIT! QUIT!” at Majora as he suffers! Zelda LASHES Majora with the bull rope! The fans go nuts as she LASHES Majora again and again while pulling the dog collar! MAJORA QUITS, ZELDA WINS!

Winner: Zelda

The Princess of Hyrule survives Mood Madness, though she herself perhaps went a little wild to do it. Majora coughs and sputters as he feebly slithers away, has he learned his lesson? Will Zelda be ready no matter who she faces at HyruleMania?

HPW World Trios Championships #1 Contenders Elimination Triple Threat: Arrow Club VS Forged By Violence VS The Gerudo Sisterhood!

The Hyrule Warriors match ended up faction warfare, and now we get another helping! Midna, Cia & Lana need challengers for HyruleMania, and it’ll come down to the last trio standing! Who survives when the odds are stacked?

With other members in other matches later tonight, Arrow Club sends the unique combination of Fin Balure, Bad Croc Scaly and the Zora Princess, Ruto! Similarly, FBV sets up the three Dark Nut brothers together, and the Sisterhood sends Aveil, Buliara & Nabooru! In this form of Triple Threat, every team has an active member, so we start with Ruto, Nabooru, and Silver Nut. The bell rings and the fans cheer as the two classic rivals stare down, but then Silver steps up. Silver eggs them on, but the rivals look back at each other. They both smile, and then they DOUBLE DROPKICK Silver down!

The fans fire up as Nabooru and Ruto then stand back up. Ruto swings but Nabooru ducks! Nabooru swings but Ruto ducks! Nabooru BACK ELBOWS, but Ruto spins through to ROLLING ELBOW! The fans duel while Nabooru staggers. Nabooru kicks low, runs, but Ruto dodges the lariat! Ruto waistlocks, Nabooru fights the lift, and Nabooru fires elbows. Ruto holds on, but Silver Nut is back! Silver waistlocks Ruto and DOUBLE GERMAN SUPLEXES! The fans fire up while Silver rises and flexes. Silver then storms over to Ruto and brings her up. Silver whips Ruto to the open corner, then runs to the FBV corner to tag Blue Nut.

Silver runs corner to corner to SPLASH Ruto! Silver then sends Ruto to Blue and Blue scoops Ruto for a SIDEWALK SLAM! Cover, TWO! Nabooru gets up, Blue kicks her to the ropes, then CLUBS her down. Blue goes back to Ruto, Ruto fires body shots, then she stands to fire forearms. Blue ROCKS Ruto, Nabooru KICKS Blue in the leg. Blue hobbles, swings, but Nabooru bobs ‘n’ weaves. Nabooru KICKS Blue in the leg again, Ruto ELBOWS Blue, then she ROCKS Nabooru! Blue fireman’s carries Ruto, Nabooru runs up, but Blue catches her! Blue hits a GORON DROP FALL AWAY COMBO! The fans fire up while Nabooru tumbles to her corner.

Buliara tags in and the fans fire up even more. Buliara RAMS Blue, Blue rebounds, and he RAMS Buliara! Buliara stays put and flexes as the fans fire up. Blue huffs ‘n’ puffs and pumps up to LARIAT! Buliara stays standing and the fans fire up again! Buliara LARIATS Blue in return and the fans fire up as he staggers around! Blue huffs ‘n’ puffs again, comes back, but Buliara ROCKS him with a forearm! Ruto sneaks over to her corner and tags in Scaly! The fans really fire up now, chanting for “MEAT! MEAT! MEAT!” Scaly takes a swing but Blue ducks, so Scaly ROCKS Buliara! Blue hits Scaly with a BODY BLOW!

Buliara returns to BOOT Blue, Blue staggers to ropes, and Buliara fires body shots from all sides! Scaly pulls Buliara  back and throws her aside to fire shots on Blue! The fans boo but Buliara runs back up to CLOBBER Scaly! The fans cheer as Buliara CLUBS away on Scaly, but then Blue ROCKS Buliara with a sucker punch! The fans boo again, but Aveil tags in and she springboards to MISSILE DROPKICK Blue! Scaly runs up but Aveil avoids the senton! Aveil then DOUBLE STOMPS Scaly! Cover, TWO! Aveil keeps Scaly down with a chinlock, but that lets Blue Nut tag in Red Nut! Red runs up, Aveil gets away, the ELBOW DROP hits Scaly!

Red steps over Scaly, Aveil kicks but Red blocks, then he ducks the enzigiri, but not the HEEL KICK! Red staggers, Scaly fireman’s carries, GORON DROP! Aveil then LYNEL-SAULTS onto Scaly! Cover, Fin breaks it! Buliara rushes Fin but Ruto goes after Buliara! Nabooru rushes Ruto, the fans fire up as they brawl, but the ref reprimands. Buliara & Nabooru LARIAT Fin & Ruto up and out of the ring! But then Scaly and Red CLOBBER the Gerudo! The fans are torn, but then Scaly grabs Red by the neck! Red breaks the grip, JABS Scaly, then winds up, but Scaly just guzels Red again! GRENADE! Cover, but Blue & Silver both break it!

The fans are torn as the Dark Nuts beat up on Scaly. Aveil runs up but Silver pops her up for a gorilla press! Silver aims to the outside, and THROWS Aveil out onto Fin, Ruto & the Gerudo Sisterhood! The fans fire up as The Dark Nuts then get Scaly up. Silver feeds him to Red & Blue, then runs up, HAMMER ‘N’ ANVIL!! Cover, The Dark Nuts ELIMINATE Arrow Club!! The fans are shocked, Fin & Ruto are furious, but Silver taunts them by waving bye. Fin & Ruto help Scaly out of the ring while the Gerudo Sisterhood composes themselves. Now it comes down to 3v3 as Aveil gets back in the ring and resets with Red Nut.

The two circle, feel things out, then tie up. Red headlocks and grinds the hold, but Aveil powers up and out. Red RUNS Aveil over, but Aveil kips up, only for Red to THROW her down by her hair! The ref reprimands and the fans boo but Red drags Aveil back up. Red RAMS Aveil into the corner, and RAMS again, and again, and again! The ref counts but Blue tags in. Red keeps Aveil trapped while the ref counts, then Red moves aside as Blue runs in, LARIAT! Aveil slumps down in the corner while the fans boo, but then Blue stomps a mudhole in! The ref counts, Blue stops at 4, then he tags Red back in.

Now Red stomps a mudhole into Aveil! The fans boo, the ref counts, but Red stops at 4 to tag Silver. Now Silver stomps a mudhole into Aveil! The fans boo again, Silver stops at 4, and the Dark Nuts soak up the heat. Silver taunts Nabooru & Buliara, but Aveil ELBOWS Red and ROCKS Blue! The fans fire up as Silver turns around into a BOOT from Aveil! Silver staggers, Aveil goes for her corner, but Silver yanks her right back! Silver back suplexes but Aveil lands out! Aveil kicks, Silver blocks, but he ducks the enzigiri, only for the REWIND HEEL KICK to hit! The fans fire up as Aveil crawls for her corner, but Red & Blue Nut rush in!

Red & Blue BLAST Nabooru & Buliara off the apron! The fans boo, but then they turn around into a DOUBLE RANA from Aveil! The fans fire up, but there’s no one for Aveil to tag! Silver CLOBBERS Aveil in the corner! The fans boo as Silver drags her away before Nabooru can get back up! Silver stands Aveil up with the guzel, but Aveil ducks the Silver Spike! It’s really the same as Scaly’s Grenade but still. Aveil then mule kicks Silver, front kicks, then ENZIGIRIS him down! Aveil hurries and now hot tag to Nabooru! The fans fire up as Nabooru rallies on the Dark Nuts with FLYING FOREARM after FLYING FOREARM!

Nabooru roars, the fans fire up more, but Blue rushes up! Nabooru baits him in and DUMPS him out to the floor! Buliara is there to CLOBBER Blue Nut! The fans fire up as Nabooru then dodges Red Nut to SNAP GERMAN SUPLEX! But Red is right back up! Nabooru ducks down as Aveil springboards and MISSILE DROPKICKS Red! The fans fire up as Red tumbles out of the ring, and Buliara is there to CLOBBER him, too! Silver runs up, Aveil goes Matrix while Nabooru fireman’s carries! Aveil goes up, up, and then FLYING KNEES Silver into Nabooru’s LANDSLIDE DRIVER!! Cover, The Gerudo Sisterhood wins!

Winners: The Gerudo Sisterhood, by pinfall (NEW #1 Contenders to the HPW World Trios Championships)

Silver takes a Fall from The Great Cliffs, and now the Gerudo Sisterhood is rising up! And then surprise, Midna, Cia & Lana are here! The MagicaLadies stand on stage and they hold up the titles. The Gerudo Sisterhood pump their fists and shout, “SA’OTEN!” HyruleMania is about to be ladies’ night, but who wins that fight when the lights are bright as they can be?

There’s a roundtable set in catering.

It has quite the feast on it: turkey, ham, corn on the cob, stuffing, mashed potatoes, a strange looking gravy boat, and even cranberry sauce. And walking up to the table are The UnderWorld Order’s Hollywood ReDead, Gomess, Death Sword & Ted Beedle Ossi. Then from the other side, it’s the OG Dark Forces! Volga, Wizzro & Million Rupee Champion, Kevin Gibdo, all sit down across from the OG uWo, Beedle standing to the side. ReDead thanks Kevin and his side for joining them. “I know we’ve put each other through a lot. I left you guys to build the UnderWorld Order, but then you put Alex in a casket, but now he’s Scaldera.

“I became Million Rupee Champion, the greatest Million Rupee Champion, maybe even the greatest champion period here in HPW. But then you took that title from me, and have beaten everyone else to keep it. If I had to do it all again, I’m pretty sure I would, and so would you. And while we’re not friends, I know there is respect here.” Kevin slams his fist on the table and says, “Get to the point, ReDead.” ReDead frowns but he sits up to lean in. “What I’m saying is, for all this history between us, it has to end somehow. And I don’t mean for the title. Go ahead, keep it, you earned it. I’m talking about all of this, between all of us.

“And the best place to end this is where it all began: HyruleMania. One last Six Man Tag, Gomess, Death Sword and myself against you three. It’ll be a fair fight, with not even Beedle ringside. We’ll finally see who was right all along: you for staying, or me for leaving. Until then, a toast, and let’s enjoy a meal together.” ReDead raises a glass, followed by Gomess & Death Sword. Kevin, Volga, and Wizzro look to each other, but they still lift their glasses. They clink with the others, and these factions in fact have a nice dinner together. This surprisingly peaceful moment aside, who will win the final war of UnderWorld Order and original Dark Forces?

HPW Death Mountain Championship Six Pack Qualifier: El Toro Blanco VS Iron Knuckle VS Torbevito VS The Great Fairy VS Grim Creeper VS Mipha!

Another year, another six stars get their chance to go to HyruleMania. However, HPW continues to turn the tables as the loser of this match will be stuck on the outside looking in! Who gets left behind with a capital L?

The bell rings and the six watch each other closely. Then Torbevito SUPERKICKS Knuckle! Torbevito goes after Knuckle as payback for the Trios match, and Toro Blanco goes after Mipha while Grim Creeper goes after The Great Fairy! The fans fire up as the brawling goes all around the ring, and while Torbevito stomps Joe out of the ring, Blanco ROCKS Mipha and Creeper CHOKES Great Fairy against the ropes! The ref can only reprimand Creeper, and Creeper stops to run the ropes and DROPKICK Great Fairy! Great Fairy dangles out of the ring while the fans boo. Blanco whips Mipha corner to corner, runs up, and forearm SMASH!

Blanco sits Mipha down, stomps a mudhole in, then jumps up to stomp away! The fans are torn, but then Blanco goes to the opposite corner. On the outside, Knuckle turns things around to CHOP Torbevito against railing! Blanco runs corner to corner, but then stops short so he can BOOT Mipha! Blanco rolls back to tranquilo, but then Creeper grabs the arm! The fans are torn but Blanco fights the armbar! Blanco clasps hands and stacks Creeper, TWO! Creeper lets Blanco go, Great Fairy DECKS Rush while Mipha SHINING WIZARDS Creeper! The fans fire up, and it seems Mipha and Great Fairy work out a truce to focus on Blanco.

The fans rally as Mipha & Great Fairy drag Blanco up and double whip him to a corner. Great Fairy sends Mipha in for a BACK BODY BLOCK! Mipha then runs back to Great Fairy, they dosido, and now Mipha sends Great Fairy in for a SPLASH! Great Fairy then feeds Blanco to Mipha for a RANA! Cover, TWO! Mipha and Great Fairy regroup, they run up on Blanco, but Blanco ducks the double lariats, and Creeper is up to DOUBLE DROPKICK! Knuckle whips Torbevito at a barrier, but Torbevito hurdles over it! The fans fire up, and Torbevito turns back around to go up and leap again to WHIRLPOOL DDT on the floor!

The fans go nuts seeing Torbevito wipe Knuckle out, but back in the ring, Creeper and Blanco now work together as they stomp Great Fairy and Mipha. Creeper drags Great Fairy to a corner while Blanco has Mipha in another. They climb up and each rain down fists. The fans either boo or count along, but Great Fairy stops Creeper at five as she carries him off the corner! Blanco makes it to TEN, hops off the corner, but then turns around as Great Fairy RUNNING POWERBOMBS Creeper right at him! The two fall down and the fans fire up again! Torbevito then slingshots in, somersaults, and jumps up to FLATLINER Great Fairy! Cover, TWO!

The fans are torn as Torbevito now squares off with Mipha. They feel things out, Torbevito shoots in and around to waistlock. Mipha fights the lift, switches, and pushes Torbevito to the ropes. Torbevito bucks the O’Conner, Mipha kips up, but Torbevito SUPERKICKS her! Mipha wobbles, Torbevito drop toeholds her onto ropes, then runs, only for Blanco & Creeper to trip him up! Creeper goes to the apron while Blanco slides in. Creeper slingshots to ELBOW DROP on Torbevito’s back! Blanco runs to then slide out the other side, and UPPERCUT Mipha! Creeper drags Torbevito around to get a leg for a HALF CRAB!

Blanco slides back in, drags Mipha to a cover, and Creeper is a bit conflicted. TWO, Creeper is relieved, but the distraction lets Torbevito turns back over! Torbevito kicks at Creeper and kicks free! Blanco basement DROPKICKS Torbevito! Knuckle is back and he has Creeper at the ropes with the SLEEPER! The fans cheer while Creeper flails! Creeper HOTSHOTS free, and Blanco runs up to DECK Knuckle! Knuckle falls to apron then floor, Creeper thanks Blanco, but then Blanco HEADBUTTS Creeper! The fans fire up while Creeper falls over and Blanco shakes out the stars. Great Fairy is back and tightrope walks! FLYING RANA!

Blanco tumbles away, Torbevito is back on the apron and he springboards in, but Great Fairy dodges. The fans rally as Great Fairy runs back up and wrenches Torbevito to reel him in for a clinch. Torbevito fights with elbows, reels Great Fairy in for a facelock, and runs to the corner! WHIRL- NO! Great Fairy powers out of the DDT and sends Torbevito tumbling. Great Fairy then runs up to SHOTGUN Torbevito down! The fans rally behind Great Fairy, but Knuckle is back! The fans fire up seeing these two circle, and Great Fairy bobs ‘n’ weaves as Knuckle throws hands. Great Fairy SMACKS Knuckle, but Knuckle HEADBUTTS in return!

Great Fairy staggers back, rebounds off ropes, and BOOTS, only for Knuckle to block! Knuckle then JABS Great Fairy in return! And JABS! JABS! JABS! The fans fires up as Knuckle fires off fast hands and backs Great Fairy down to the corner! Then Knuckle tops it off with a RIDGE HAND CHOP! Great Fairy sits down, Creeper runs up, but Knuckle catches him and URENAGES! Creeper flounders away, Knuckle goes back to Great Fairy, and he blocks another kick! But then Great Fairy uses the Zora Reel and KICKS Knuckle away! Great Fairy hops up the corner, then LEAPS, but Knuckle just walks away! Great Fairy FLOPS on the mat!

Knuckle chuckles, but then Creeper CHOP BLOCKS Knuckle’s leg! The fans boo but Creeper stomps the leg! Knuckle kicks from below but Creeper just stomps Knuckle in the chest! Creeper stands on Knuckle at the ropes and soaks up the heat. But then Mipha runs up and uses the ropes to flip into a CUTTER on Creeper!! Cover, Mipha wins and Creeper loses! Creeper is NOT going to HyruleMania!

Loser: Grim Creeper, by pinfall (El Toro Blanco, Iron Knuckle, Torbevito, The Great Fairy & Mipha advance to HyruleMania)

A Tubular ending sees Mipha score the victory, and she’s leaving Grim Creeper behind in her wake! But will she use this momentum to climb Death Mountain? Or will she wish she’d eliminated one of the other contenders instead?

HPW Goddess Championship “Just Desserts” No Disqualifications Match: Tali w/ Shabonne VS Ladrona!

The series is tied 1-1 after The Dame of the Dunes’ dastardly manager pulled an underhanded trick last time. The Thief Girl wants her revenge, but the Goddess of the Sand is ready to do anything and everything she can to deny her! If revenge is a dish best served cold, then who gets their just deserts?

As implied by the match name, there are tables upon tables at ringside, with all sorts of cakes, pies, pastries and ice creams on display. Shabonne sneaks a swipe of chocolate frosting as she accompanies Tali to the ring. The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and we who tastes sweet, sweet, sweet victory!

The bell rings and the two circle while the fans rally up. And then Ladrona brings out a FORK!? The fans go nuts and Tali shouts WTF! Ladrona rushes Tali, Tali bails out of the ring, but Ladrona pursues! Tali runs around the way, Ladrona keeps after her, but then Ladrona spots a cherry pie and stabs her fork into that. Ladrona eats a piece of the pie, “Mmm!” and gives a thumbs up. Tali is furious, steps back to Ladrona, but Ladrona again brandishes the fork as a weapon! Tali stays back again, but then sees what else is on the table. Tali shouts, “EAT THIS!” and throws a pumpkin pie! Ladrona goes Matrix to dodge it, and fans boo the waste of good pie!

Tali throws an apple pie at Ladrona, that one hits, and Ladrona stumbles a bit. Tali CLUBS Ladrona, then grabs at the fork in her hand! The fans fire up as the two struggle, and Tali gets Ladrona’s hand open. Tali has the fork now! Tali tries to stab at Ladrona’s face but Ladrona holds the fork back! But not for long as Tali is just that much bigger and stronger! Tali DIGS the fork into Ladrona’s forehead while the fans tell her she’s sick! Tali SHOVES Ladrona down, and it’s hard to tell if that’s blood or just the cherry pie on the fork. Tali shows off the possibly bloody fork while fans boo and continue to call her sick.

Tali laughs as she drops the fork on the table, and yep, Ladrona’s bleeding from the forehead. Tali picks up another pie while Shabonne stomps away on Ladrona! The fans boo but duh, No Disqualification, this was bound to turn into an unofficial handicap match. Shabonne drags Ladrona up as Tali storms over. Shabonne holds Ladrona back as Tali winds up, but Ladrona drops down! Tali literally pie faces Shabonne! It was a cream pie! The fans laugh at Shabonne as she stumbles and sputters, and she takes off her sunglasses that’re now covered in cream. Ladrona drop toeholds Tali onto the floor! Ladrona takes the next pie and SLAM DUNKS it on Tali’s face!

The fans fire up as now Tali flounders with cream all over her face! Ladrona hands out the desserts to the fans so she can clear off one table, and the fans cheer as she moves it closer to the ring. But then Tali kicks Ladrona low! The fans boo as Tali puts Ladrona in the ring. Tali storms in and stomps away on Ladrona while Shabonne looks under the ring. Shabonne brings out metal baking sheet after metal baking sheet and slides them into the ring! Tali grabs one and she SMACKS Ladrona on the back with it! The fans boo while Ladrona writhes, but Shabonne puts a few more sheets in the ring. Tali piles the sheets together at the center of the ring.

Tali drags Ladrona up, Shabonne trolls fans by offering cake but then putting it in the ring instead. Shabonne tells Tali, “Let her eat cake!” Tali brings the cake over to Ladrona, and then SMASHES Ladrona’s face in the cake! The fans boo as Tali basically SMOTHERS Ladrona with the decadent chocolate-on-chocolate cake! Tali then wheelbarrows Ladrona to lift her out of the cake and BIG back suplex onto the pile of baking sheets! The fans wince while Ladrona writhes, and then Tali pushes her down for a cover. TWO!! Ladrona survives and the fans fire up, but Tali is frustrated now. Tali grabs a baking sheet and SMACKS Ladrona with it again!

Tali wedges the baking sheet in a corner while Ladrona writhes again. Tali then stands Ladrona up, brings her around, and whips her at the corner! Ladrona manages to slide to a stop first! Tali runs up, Ladrona dodges, but Tali stops short of hitting the sheet! Tali turns around, but Ladrona CHUCKS a baking sheet in her face! The fans fire up as Tali wobbles and Shabonne freaks out! Ladrona reels Tali and DDT on a baking sheet! The fans lose their minds again while Ladrona pushes Tali over for a cover, TWO!!! The fans can’t believe Tali survives, but Shabonne is very relieved. Shabonne then coaches Tali while Ladrona goes outside.

Ladrona clears off another table by giving away the desserts, and she folds the table up so she can put it in the ring. The fans fire up as Ladrona then sets the table up in the drop zone. Ladrona drags Tali up and SMACKS her off the table! The fans cheer as Ladrona then pushes Tali onto the table. Tali resists so Ladrona CLUBS away on her again and again! Shabonne storms into the ring! The fans boo as Shabonne sucker punches Ladrona! Shabonne then aims for the table on the outside! Shabonne whips but Ladrona reverses to TOSS Shabonne up and over! Shabonne lands safe on the apron, Ladrona storms up, but Shabonne grabs Ladrona!

The fans rally for Ladrona as she and Shabonne struggle at the ropes, but here comes Tali! Ladrona slips away again, and Tali BOOTS Shabonne down through the table! The fans fire up, and then Ladrona rolls Tali up! TWO, but into a STRETCH MUFFLER! The fans fire up as Ladrona THRASHES Tali’s leg around! Tali reaches out, but Ladrona’s glowing!! Tali scrambles and backstrokes her way to the ropes! There are no ropebreaks in a No DQ match, but Tali uses the ropes to lift herself up! Tali kicks at Ladrona, but Ladrona DUMPS Tali to the apron! Tali lands safe, HEADBUTTS Ladrona, then steps in, only for Ladrona to get the leg! DRAPING DRAGON SCREW!

The fans cheer while Tali hobbles around. Ladrona CHOP BLOCKS the bad leg! Tali drops to her knees, then Ladrona CURB STOMPS Tali down! Cover, TWO! Ladrona hurries to drag Tali over to the table, but Tali pops Ladrona up! Tali aims for the table but Ladrona rains down fists! Tali stumbles, and Ladrona RANAS Tali up and outta the ring! The fans fire up and Ladrona aims from the apron. Ladrona leaps, but Tali catches her! Tali APRON POWERSLAMS Ladrona! The fans boo while Ladrona writhes, but then Tali drags her up for a fireman’s carry. Tali then goes up the steel steps to be on the apron!

Tali climbs up the corner near the table! The fans freak out as Tali carefully steps up and over the top rope! But Ladrona fires elbows! Ladrona hooks Tali’s arms, but Tali grabs the ropes to fight the crucifix takedown! Ladrona fires more elbows but Tali still holds on! Ladrona shifts around to have a SLEEPER! The fans fire up as Ladrona squeezes tight! Tali claws at the hold but Ladrona just thrashes around! Tali holds onto the ropes, but she’s fading! But then Tali climbs up the corner! And she SUPER BACKPACK SENTONS down through the table!! The fans lose their minds, and it’s a cover?! TALI WINS?!?

Winner: Tali, by pinfall (still HPW Goddess Champion)

The Desert Colossus made a desperate play, and it worked out for her in the end! Though, she and Shabonne can barely stand as they celebrate the moment. They lean on each other as Tali raises the belt, BUT WAIT! URBOSA is here! The iconic star and mentor to the Gerudo Sisterhood is here, and she goes right to the ring to get in Tali’s face. Then she looks at the title in Tali’s hand as Tali’s arm dangles at her side. Tali frowns and does her best to stand upright so she can stare Urbosa down. Tali dares Urbosa to do something, but Urbosa just smiles. It is clear what she wants, will she take Tali down at HyruleMania to get it?

Undisputed HPW Triforce World Championship #1 Contender’s Triple Threat: Link VS Kage VS GANON!

The Hero of Hyrule, the Hero’s Shadow, and the Gerudo Ace. Former world champions all, and they were the final three in the Hyrule Warriors battle royal. However, wild circumstances brought about a historic three-way tie, bringing about this Triple Threat! Who will be the one moving on to challenge Zelda at HyruleMania?

The bell rings and the fans rally up as the three stare down. The chanting is all over the place, with “LINK! LINK! LINK!” and “KA~GE! KA~GE!” dueling, but also “GANON SUCKS! GANON SUCKS!” The three approach, watching the others, and they circle. Kage ELBOWS Ganon and ROCKS Link with a forearm! Link staggers, Kage fires off more shots, and the fans are torn as Kage has Link cornered. Ganon storms up and CLUBS Kage! Ganon then THROWS Kage aside, and he stomps Link in the corner. The fans boo as Ganon digs his boot in, then even stands on Link! Ganon flexes while he soaks up the heat.

Ganon steps off, and Kage CLOBBERS him in return! The fans cheer as Kage fires off fast hands on Ganon now! Ganon SHOVES Kage down, Kage kips up, but Ganon DECKS him! The fans boo, but Link is up to HOOK SHOT Ganon! The fans fire up as Ganon stumbles away. Link KICKS Ganon’s leg, Ganon hobbles, and Link shoves Ganon at the ropes. The fans fire up as Link fires off KICK after KICK after KICK into Ganon’s chest! Kage runs up, Link gets outta the way, and Kage UPPERCUTS Ganon against the ropes! The fans cheer while Ganon sputters and stumbles again. Kage swats Link’s kick to ELBOW Link to the corner.

Kage storms up, Link slips around and KICKS Kage! And KICKS! And KICKS! Kage eggs Link on, so Link feints the kick to JAB, then KICK! Kage slumps down, Ganon’s back up, so Link SUPER- NO, Ganon blocks the kick and CLUBS the leg! Ganon whips Link to the ropes, Link stops himself, and DUMPS Ganon out! Kage runs at Link but Link TOSSES Kage up and out, onto Ganon! The fans fire up while those two fall down! Link goes out to fetch Ganon, puts him back in the ring, then goes up the corner. ICE ARROW! Direct hit and Link covers Ganon, but Kage slingshots to ELBOW DROP and break it apart!

The fans are torn, Kage drags Link up, and Kage runs him to the corner to POST him! Kage brings Link out of the corner to then TOSS him out of the ring! Kage goes back to Ganon, stomps him, then puts him on the ropes. Kage stomps away on Ganon, CHOKES him on the ropes, then lets off to run the ropes. MASTER SWORD against the ropes! Cover, TWO! Kage drops an ELBOW on Ganon, then sees Link getting up. Kage runs to WRECK Link with a dropkick! The fans are still torn but Kage goes back after Ganon. Kage stomps Ganon, but Ganon just gets mad now. Kage stomps again but Ganon sits up.

Kage BUZZSAWS, but Ganon stays up! Ganon stands up, pushes the leg away, and ROCKS Kage with a forearm! The fans boo but Ganon waistlocks to GERMAN SUPLEX! Kage tumbles to a corner while the fans chant, “GANON STILL SUCKS!” Clap clap, clap clap clap. Ganon tells the fans to shut up, then he lines up a shot. Ganon runs corner to corner to CANNONBALL! Link MASTER SWORDS Ganon! The fans fire up as Link reels Ganon into a facelock, but Ganon fights the suplex! Ganon tries to suplex but now Link resists! Link fires body shots, then he suplexes Ganon! But Kage SWEEPS Link’s legs, making Link GOURD BUSTER Ganon!

The fans are torn, but Kage lines up a shot. Ganon and Link both sit up, Kage runs in, BLINDSIDE LARIAT on Link and DROPKICK on Ganon! Cover on Link, TWO! Cover on Ganon, TWO! Kage is frustrated, and he stomps Ganon on the back. Ganon writhes, Kage kicks him to the ropes and CHOKES him! Kage goes to Link while Ganon coughs and sputters. Kage drags Link up, whips him to the corner, but Link goes up and over! Kage stops from hitting buckles, blocks Link’s superkick, then throws the leg down, but Link SUPERKICKS after all! Kage flounders against ropes, Link reels him into a full nelson, but Kage fights the lifts!

Kage breaks the full nelson, ELBOWS Link, then Kage runs. But Link Tiger Wall Kicks! Kage ducks the enzigiri! Kage waistlocks, but Link fights the lift! Link switches, Kage fights the lift, and now Ganon waistlocks Link! DOUBLE GERMAN SUPLEX!! The fans boo and chant “GANON STILL SUCKS!” while all three men are down! Oh no, wait, who is creeping out from the crowd? It’s the Faces of Evil! The fans boo as Harlequin, Lupay, Militron, Glutko, and even newest member, Hektan, slither out here! And three guesses as to who they’re here to help! They go right up to the ring and stand on the apron while Ganon sits up.

Ganon sees his minions here, then turns to grin at Link and Kage. The fans boo harder, but then wait! Riju, Yunobo, Sidon, Thunderbird & Donny B. Kool are rushing out here from the stage! The fans cheer as these five stand on the apron and support Link! Link, Ganon and Kage all stand up, Kage stuck in the literal middle. Kage looks at Ganon and the FOE, he looks at Link and the others, then straight ahead at the camera. Kage just flips both sides off and bails out! Then the other twelve all brawl! The fans are thunderous, but Kage just leans against the railing to watch. Ganon throws hands with Link in the ring at the center!

Riju and Harlequin, Yunobo and Glutko, Sidon and Militron, Thunderbird and Lupay, Donny and Hektan, they all throw hands all around the ring! Hektan fires hands, whips Donny, but Donny reverses! Hektan stops himself at ropes, Donny runs up, PULL UP TO THE CLUB LIKE! Down goes Hektan and Donny drags him out of the ring! Glutko RAMS Yunobo into the corner, Link dodges Ganon’s haymaker to PELE! Lupay whips Thunderbird, he goes up and over, and then Thunderbird STEP-UP KNEES Lupay! Lupay flops out of the ring, then Thunderbird PLANCHAS out onto him!

Sidon throws haymaker after haymaker on Militron, winds up, but then Militron ducks the big haymaker to get up and under Sidon! Militron DUMPS Sidon out of the ring! Harlequin holds Riju and Militron runs up on her! But Riju switches and shoves Harlequin into Militron! Militron sends Harlequin tumbling out of the ring! Riju then ENZIGIRIS Militron! Sidon is back and he CROSSBODIES Militron and himself out of the ring! The fans fire up and Riju KICKS Glutko in the leg! Yunobo and Riju mug Glutko, then double whip, only for Glutko to DOUBLE SHOULDER TACKLE them!

The fans boo as Yunobo and Riju tumble out of the ring! Glutko soaks up the heat, but then Kage returns to MASTER SWORD him in the head! Glutko tumbles, Yunobo gets up, and Yunobo sees Glutko is outside. Yunobo runs in around the way and he CLOBBERS Glutko! The fans fire up, Kage SUPERKICKS Link! Link rebounds and SUPERKICKS Kage! Ganon CALAMITY KICKS Link!! Cover, but Kage returns to DOUBLE STOMP Ganon! The fans fire up as Kage HAMMERS away on Ganon! But MAJORA is here! He KNEES Kage right down! The fans boo again as Majora stomps away on Kage!

Ganon gets up and he stomps Link. The fans boo, but here comes LADRONA! The Thief Girl is still banged up and a mess from earlier, but she’s got a kendo stick! Ladrona SMACKS Majora on the back! The fans cheer as she SMACKS and SMACKS and SMACKS Majora with the stick! Majora then grabs the stick! Majora takes it from Ladrona, glares at her, but then Ladrona LOW BLOWS Majora! The fans fire up as Majora falls over! Ladrona takes the stick back to SMACK Majora until he’s out of the ring! But then Ganon LARIATS Ladrona up and out of the ring! The fans boo again, and then the dozen extras all gather at ramp side with Ladrona and Majora.

The brawling continues as a cluster while Link MASTER SWORDS Ganon against the ropes! Kage runs up on Link, Link DUMPS him out onto the apron! Kage flounders but he gets back up. Link takes a swing, Kage ducks it and HOTSHOTS Link! Kage then drags Link out to join him on the apron, and this is starting to feel like deja vu! Ganon gets up and takes a swing, but both Kage and Link duck! They both RAM into Ganon! The fans fire up as Link and Kage look at each other. They look at Ganon, then the cluster of brawling enemies and allies! Kage and Link then climb up the ropes to bring Ganon up!

The fans freak out already as Kage & Link DOUBLE DEADLIFT SUPERPLEX, onto the entire cluster!! All fifteen fall into a heap and the fans go wild! “This is Awesome!” but then King Nicholas Foolyere storms out here! “ENOUGH! EEENOUGH! This insanity must stop! You maniacs wanna fight so much? Then lemme tell you something, brothers and sisters! The Faces of Evil and Majora, at HyruleMania, you six will fight Riju, Ladrona, Yunobo, Sidon, Thunderbird AND Donny B. Kool in… AB-SO-LUTE AN-AR-CHYYYYY!!” The fans go wild as Foolyere is bringing back the infamous match type from his youth!

Foolyere waits for the fans to calm down a bit, and shouts, “As for YOU three…” He points to Link, Kage and Ganon at the center of the cluster. “Since you three can’t seem to break away from each other, you three will ALL fight at HyruleMania! The Undisputed HPW Triforce World Championship match… will now be a FATAL 4 WAY!!” The fans fire up again while Ganon, Link and Kage each glare at each other. Zelda makes her way out from the back and gets her father’s attention. She shrugs and looks at him as if to ask, “What’re you doing!?” Foolyere doesn’t say anything, seemingly standing by his decision.

Zelda looks at her three challengers, they look at her, and the fans are still fired up as the tension rises. Who will survive Absolute Anarchy? Who will defy the odds and reign supreme as the Undisputed Champion?

My Thoughts:

This Fyter Feast feels stuffed to the brim, and I sure hope it was satisfying. Fyter Feast has always been a feeder event for HyruleMania, and it definitely did that here, the main event creating two massive matches that I hope I can live up to.