The time has come to talk of many things: Of shoes and ships and sealing wax, of cabbages and kings.

The countdown to HyruleMania 6 begins, and sanity is slipping away as The Six Sages prepare to face their FOE in Absolute Anarchy!

The King of Hyrule brings out an ancient tome.

“I shall tell you a story,” Nicholas Foolyere says, “of a time long ago. A golden age of great heroes and great villains locked in an epic struggle for power and glory. It was a war of warriors from around the world. Every nation, every race, every style represented in a constant clash. Champions were crowned, grudges were forged, and sides were chosen. It all culminated in the birth of a match type so dangerously, violently chaotic that it could be only known as ‘Anarchy.'”

(For your listening pleasure)

Foolyere turns the page to show a picture of his younger self. “Nick Fooly” assembled a mighty team known as The Red Lions. Fooly led Humpback Hook Halibut, “Hot Head” Max Murphy & The Hawk against The Yiga Clan’s “Zany” Zohga, “Powerful” Pohga, “Violent” Vohga, and “Dangerous” Dohga. Highlights of that match are shown in a combination of art in the tome and video footage from the time before high-definition cameras. Even so, the violence and the blood comes through nice and clear. The Yiga Clan members lived up to those nicknames, but the Red Lions prevailed, the lasting image of them standing on stage together the final image in the book.

“The match was of such brutality that it’s legend spread far and wide, but it also struck fear into the hearts of Hyrule. It has only ever been used in the most extreme of circumstances. And as someone with firsthand experience, I know that this is that time. Ganon usurping control of The Dark Forces, leading the Faces of Evil, the unruly nature of the entire faction, must be stopped in the most definitive way possible. I am grateful to those that have stepped forward to stop them. Yunobo, Sidon, Riju, Ladrona, Teba, and Donny B. Kool, I know you have what it takes to overcome your FOEs. Begin at the beginning, and go on ’til you come to the end, then stop.”

Majora meets with the Faces of Evil.

In a dark room, lit only by a lantern, the Monster Mask leans forward into the light. He slowly looks to Harlequin, Lupay, Militron, Glutko and newest FOE, Hektan. “You are strong… You are ruthless… But you lack power.” Majora drags a trunk out from the darkness and into the light. He opens the trunk, and it somehow puts out the lantern! But then there’s an eerie glow from inside the trunk. Despite being in the dark, the Faces of Evil rummage around in the trunk, and they each bring out an item. They’re simply glowing silhouettes, but they seem to be weaponry. Wait, he’s giving the Faces of Evil weaponry?!

“If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn’t. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn’t be. And what it wouldn’t be, it would. You see? But who in the world am I? Ah, that’s the great puzzle.” Majora may have just tipped the scales in favor of the Dark Forces, but will they win the war? Or can anything happen with Absolute Anarchy?