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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 1.15.26

TNA had some time to cook up their big debut. Did they burn it, or make a succulent feast?

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AMC era has begun! Granted it’s not without a big loss, being The Rascalz seem to be headed to AEW. Which honestly I’m conflicted. If it was their decision because the money was astronomical, then I can’t fault TNA for not being able to compete with the TK Bank Account. But if TNA didn’t even try and let them walk for money that could’ve been negotiated…then TNA fumbled harder than CJ Stroud. Jake Something is a non-factor, but The Rascalz could be a big mistake.

Ratings:

  • Elijah & The Hardyz vs Order 4: Jeff wins via Swanton Bomb – *
  • TNA Knockouts Tag Titles: The IInspiration (c) vs The Elegance Brand: Maggie wins via pinfall – (-) *** – TITLE CHANGE!!!
  • TNA World Championship: Frankie Kazarian (c) vs Mike Santana: Santana wins via Spin the Block – *** 3/4 – TITLE CHANGE!!!

 

Results:

AJ Styles comes out to kick off TNA episodes on a new network. He walks out to the WWE theme, makes a quick hype promo, doesn’t interact with anyone aside from the crowd. Definitely feels like more could’ve been done with AJ, but it was nice to see him. 

Elijah & The Hardyz vs Order 4

The Hardyz come out with some guitar guy, Justin Lyonz or something…BDE and another streamer buddy? Definitely already feels overbooked just on the intro.

Order 4 tries to start fast but things back fire quickly and…this is starting off like an old episode of like WCW Thunder. Just messy overbooked intros, hot start into a commercial. 13 minutes in and it’s not a good start. Coming back from the commercial, Ali had the advantage but then Jeff Hardy is turning it around, all the apron dwellers are down. Ali tries the Rolling Neckbreaker, Jeff catches him with a Twist of Fate. Tasha tries to get in the way, Ali gets shoved into her, Matt hits the Twist of Tasha draped over Ali…shmoz spot. The Great Hands actually turn things around after the pinfall break, but Elijah stops them with some Mule Kick action, into a Twist from Matt and Swanton from Jeff. I think we saw maybe 3 minutes of this and it was all just cliche chaos crap.

Loser Agent Zero attacks after the fact…even though Elijah laid him out last week and the luster is off of Zero. He’s a joke. The Righteous come out to make a…Save? Dutch hits Death Walks on Matt and Vincent pulls out…a pad lock or something and then chains Jeff to the post via his eat gauge. This is…an embarrassing mess of crap just happening.  If this is anyone’s first episode, I apologize for the Crash TV whiplash effect of this so far. 

20 minutes of worthless D List Star spotting that leads to a comedy spot with Ryan Nemeth (which is fine, I love Ryan) but then it goes into Santino finding a new General Manager type because he’s been compromised. And it’s…Sonya Deville with Daria Rae as her new gimmick name. She comes out as the heel “management” type who wants to get rid of Santino. And…she apparently signed Elayna Black. Yikes, back to back no one cares reveals. Sonya Deville and Cora Jade. Cora’s hot, but wrestling competence…ya that’s non-existent. 

I can almost tolerate Sonya since she’s supposed to come out and be a heel immediately, so the lack of current love, buzz and pop, is fine. But bringing Cora Jade along like she’s anything more than eye candy is…pathetic. It has been 30 minutes since the last actual wrestling match happened.

WHY DO WE GO INTO ANOTHER GOOFBALL TALK SEGMENT?!?!? The Elegance Brand, with Perez Hilton…has he even been relevant since like 2008? What is this? I get that it’s a dumb shtick before the match but STOP TALKING. This…Mr Elegance thing is complete garbage. 

TNA Knockouts Tag Titles: The IInspiration (c) vs The Elegance Brand

The IInspiration comes down to stop the awful segment and as soon as things start we cut to commercial again. WHY. M has control cause of course the heels are in control until Cassie gets the knees up and M crashes and burns on the Moonsault. Jessie hot tag, lays out both Elegance members. She dispatches of M, Armbar Suplex on Heather but the Concierge pulls out Jessie. Jessie blocks the numbers game but eats combination kicks from Heather. They go for their Bow and Arrow, Stomp combo but Cassie shoves off Heather, IInspiration double teams M, Mr Elegance hops on the apron and gets slapped.

This is a sloppy mess of over booked gimmicked garbage. Idolizer on Maggie but interference for days and Maggie gets the pin and the…I don’t care. Get rid of these titles. I love Maggie, but this is pathetic and the fact we need NXT tag teams to flesh out a contender bracket is sad. What the actual FUCK is this episode? This feels like a fever dream.

Jesus, okay the Visa issue is legit because I know there’s problems in e-sports and other professional mediums. But now Lei Ying Lee comes out because her title match becomes an Open Challenge because Dani can’t compete at Genesis. ZaRuca comes out, and I don’t care who challenge Lei, but I swear if TNA makes Lei drop the title to an NXT wrestler again. Sol actually says Zaria deserves the shot, which surprises Zaria…kind of a nice moment. But still…I swear, no more NXT wrestlers taking TNA gold. 

Christ on a crutch, another talking segment. The System has to say stuff because Dango is retiring on Saturday, but come the hell on. So far there have been 2 matches, we saw 3 minutes of the first one, some people missed the entire second match because AMC ran back to back commercial breaks. But even seeing it, there’s was about 4 minutes of interference in that match. 90 minutes so far, and there’s been 7 minutes of visible wrestling. They’ve done garbage shows like this before, but I was hoping they would know better than to give us some gum flapping imbecile show. But NOOO.

TNA World Championship: Frankie Kazarian (c) vs Mike Santana

Collar and Elbow tie up, Kaz tries the early Chicken Wing, but Santana fights it off and tries to catch him with a Spin the Block, but easily dodged and we reset. Santana hits the Shoulder Tackle and the crowd pops probably because it’s actually wrestling for what feels like the first time all night. Frankensteiner sends Frankie to the floor, Escalera Plancha from Santana keeps Kaz on the receiving end. Santana launches off the steps but misses and Kaz connects with a Belly to Belly.

Back from yet another terribly timed commercial, we see Kaz get shoved off the ropes, Santana tries the Rolling Buck Fifty, but Kaz connects with a Backstabber. He then decides to talk smack to Santana and big brother him. Santana absorbs Kaz’s shots, fires and then throws his own haymakers. Santana going a little Sting with a big Woo, catches Kaz’s foot and then Gamengiri. Kaz cuts him off, Santana cuts off Kaz, Rolling Buck Fifty out of the up and over, but only a 2 count.

Kaz claws the eyes, shoves Santana away, but Santana climbs the buckles again, Spanish Fly, no sell, into a struggle for signature moves when Santana snaps off a Code Red for another near fall. Santana takes too long to go for the Cannonball, knees up, Kaz hits the Angel’s Wings for two. Chicken Wing attempt two, but Santana rolls over into the pinfall, Kaz kicks out. A little cat and mouse on the Guillotine, but Slingshot Cutter into the Springboard Guillotine Leg Drop for two again!

Frankie tries to bring in the belt, it gets taken away, finisher counters, Fighting Spirit, Spin the Block misses, Kaz goes for a Shotgun Kick but ref bump. Santana hits the Spin the Block but the ref is dead. Kaz looks for the discarded belt, clocks Santana with it while the referee is still dead. Kaz aims for Fade to Black on the apron and connects! Throws Santana back into the ring, cover, Santana kicks out at two and fires! Kaz with the Canadian Destroyer but Santana no sells, Spin the Block! 1-2-2.999. Kaz kicked out of it. Kaz dodges the next STB, tries one of his own, but then Santana connects with another!

Overall Score: 2.5/10

This was an awful trainwreck of a fever dream. The Main Event was the only thing worth watching, and if you’re not a TNA fan, I wouldn’t expect people to have stuck around that long. The Main Event is 2 of the 2.5 points, the only other slightly decent part was utilizing Sonya Deville’s relative lack of interest and expected lack of pop, to just make her a heel out of the gates.

Everything else about this show was complete unadulterated dogshit. Mr Elegance talks like young Chris Jericho, Ryan Nemeth and Peter Brady did a failed fusion dance. The concept was cringe the execution is worse. The constant commercials at the start of matches and coming back for 2-3 minutes of trash is a 90s formula that doesn’t work nowadays. 80% of this show was useless talking, highlight segments of the history of TNA and running around to fix Genesis matches because all the UK wrestlers can’t make the show.

This was pathetic. If this was people’s first time watching TNA, it probably will be their last. This show made WCW Thunder look competent. I yearn for the days of Disco Inferno vs Lodi. Van Hammer vs Mike Awesome during his fat chick thriller era, would be better writing and television than whatever this was.

Mc Lyte Garbage GIF by ALLBLK

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