Andrew’s JCW Lunacy Results & Match Ratings: Ep# 92

Jasmin St Claire was banging the monsters in the Monster Corp…and Mr Happy knocked her up! It was nice to see Mad Man Pondo again, and that led into his appearance on the VICE doc for Necro Butcher and Samoa Joe. Josh Bishop got screwed by Caleb and Vince Russo’s new crew with Father Bronson and Krule. The referee screwed over Yabo and Ruffo by disqualifying them against the Lucianos. J-Rod, Freya and Sophia Rose could be a new faction in the women’s division. Plus Barnabas send HoKane on a hit to blind side Dani Mo.

Time to see what extra ridiculousness we get today, and look…we get Choppatunistic Booking!

JCW Co-Owner Vince Russo puts Choppa City in charge.

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— Juggalo Championship Wrestling (@jcwlunacy) July 23, 2026

Ratings:

• Mr Happy vs Kerry Morton: Kerry wins via Kiss it Goodbye – ***
• JCW Tag Team Championship: Malcolm Monroe III & Purple Phantom vs Choppa City: Choppas retain via Sucka Butsa – SQUASH
• Bacardi on a Pole Match: Backseat Boyz vs 2 Tuff Tony & Willie Mack: Tony wins via Meteorite – ** 1/2
• Josh Bishop w/Joel Gertner vs Krule: Bishop wins via DQ – N/A

Results:

The Luciano Family walk out, it’s only Sally Boy and Vito right now. They won Vincenzo back, but do they physically have him back in their ranks? Vito says that Vincenzo isn’t here tonight, because he had a little “accident”. The JWO music hits, Violent J says that the Brothers beat their asses last week and sends Willie Mack and 2 Tuff Tony to beat the shit out of Vito and Sally. 

Tony is beating the crap out of Sally, hitting a Crossbody into the wall. Vito was holding his own against Willie and that’s way more back and forth. Sally Boy is getting dog walked by Tony, and even letting the fans get shots in on Sal. Tony heads to where Vito and Willie are, and they trade opponents. Willie now starts beating the piss out of Sal. Tony tries to use an older woman in a wheelchair to hit Vito, but Vito bails. So Willie knocks down Sal and grabs the same woman to have her run over Sally Boy. 

Vito is back in the ring with Tony, and he’s actually beating on Tony. Big Lariat levels Tony, but Willie is behind him. Willie taps the shoulder, Bitch Slap, Double Back Drop and Tandem Punches. Sal tries to get involved but Willie Spears Sal. Vito pulls Sal out and they retreat as the JWO music plays. 

"Mr. JCW" Kerry Morton has outsmarted Vince Russo and is back early from India.

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— Juggalo Championship Wrestling (@jcwlunacy) July 23, 2026

Choppa City and JWO in the background, Choppas let J know they’re the show runners. So they say how about a Tag Title Match versus two worthy dudes. Tony & Willie in a Bacardi on a Pole match against Backseatz. And then Kerry Morton versus Mr Happy because they flew him back from Mumbai. Krule versus Bishop in a Grudge Match. That’s the Chop Show and Violent J, loves the card. J tells them not to fuck it up, and if one messes up the other is responsible. 

Mr Happy vs Kerry Morton

He is being announced as Jasmin St Claire’s baby daddy and walks in with the masked Mr Happy bear. Mr Happy is like 3 Kerry Mortons in terms of weight, but I’m a big Kerry fan.

Kerry and Happy are both getting fan chants. Kerry doesn’t know how to approach this situation since Happy is simple but huge. They eventually tie up, Happy clean break, Up and Over, tries a Shoulder Tackle but Kerry bounces off of Happy and rethinks how he makes life decisions. Kerry points down to distract and grab a Headlock, tries another Shoulder Tackle but doesn’t move Happy at all. Happy wants to Shoulder Tackle now and shows Kerry where to stand so Happy takes the bump from Kerry, lets him cover him and then tosses Kerry sky high. Kerry kicks and slaps Happy, but then side steps Kerry. Happy…okay no, Kerry cuts off the Happy Dive and starts choking him on the ropes.

The crowd calls for a 619 and Kerry obliges and then does his little thrust and Jackie Fargo strut. Kerry wants an Irish Whip, but it gets reversed and Kerry tries to avoid but gets Squished and then Happy hits a Capo Kick! Happy starts playing with his bear, Happy dance into a Running Splash, but Kerry barely slips out. Happy is smothering Kerry, but he finally fires with the fan chant, Back Elbow, Crossbody and near fall, but Happy tosses him across the ring on the kick out. Kerry throws hands, Whip Reversal, Double Ducks and a Flying Forearm from Kerry, but Jasmin walks out as Kerry is measuring Happy, Happy wanted to counter Kerry’s attack, but Jasmin tells Happy that he’s gonna be taking care of the kid alone and she wants nothing to do with it. Happy looks heartbroken, Kerry hits the Kiss it Goodbye! Kerry wins!

Kerry actually looks conflicted after winning. He hands the teddy bear to Happy, and this new turning face Kerry is wonderful. He still has his heel moments but you can see he’s trying to be a decent guy. 

JCW Tag Team Championship: Malcolm Monroe III & Purple Phantom vs Choppa City

Okay, this is El Dandy level of layup when it comes to “defending against a team who deserves it”. 

Choppa City throw Phantom to the floor, the bell rings, they Double Hip Toss Malcolm, Clubbering of Chops, but Phantom hits a Double Clothesline, then Splashes, and tandem Splashes both. Tags in Malcolm, he sweeps Atiba, Atiba tries to turn it around but a few kicks, Gamengiri and Phantom wants the tag but Malcolm doesn’t want to but gets too close and Phantom tags himself in. Sucka Busta lays out the Phantom because of all the silly stalling and the match is over.

Can we please stop having any more of the Phantom? I’d rather watch Jasmin give birth than another bad attempt at comedy with Phantom.

Barnabas the Bizarre, with The Outbreak & Hokane, has a message for his daughter Dani Mo.

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— Juggalo Championship Wrestling (@jcwlunacy) July 23, 2026

God dammit…Purple is talking to the screen saver of Vince Russo and lets us know that his twin brother, is the true hero…the Orange Phantom. See now this annoys me, since my favorite color is orange and we’re still gonna get more of this doofus in a different color.

A backstage segment with Joel Gertner and Josh Bishop. Gertner makes fun of all the stuff Vince had to do and the fact that Josh broke the bat over his knee. Josh speaks a little and then says “Tell ’em what other shit I’m gonna do Joel!” – and Joel says “I don’t need to, because everything you do, you do well, well, well”. 

Bacardi on a Pole Match: Backseat Boyz vs 2 Tuff Tony & Willie Mack

The match breaks down instantly. Tommy and Tony throw hands, Willie and JP are smacking each other around. Tony slingshots JP in the hard way, JWO simultaneous Back Drops, and the JWO are rolling. Violent J mentions something about an event called “GoreGames” in the future.

Backseats manage to turn things around, drop the veterans out, Double Plancha. Tommy goes for the MASADA pokers into the skull spot on Willie, but Willie turns it around. Tony is having random kids in the audience beat on JP, before Slamming him into the ramp. Willie Chops and then dumps Tommy into the front row. Tony tries for the Bacardi, but JP grabs his foot and Superkicks Tony. RIght before JP can grab it, Willie cuts him off, hits the Stunner and Willie goes for the Bacardi. Tommy hits a Twist of Fate to stop Willie and now Tommy nearly has it. Tony hits Tommy in the balls, then lifts him with one arm by the crotch and Reverse Flapjack kills Tommy.

Tony grabs JP, then Willie slides back in and all four start throwing hands. Backseats are in control for now, but a few fists and Enzuigiri from Willie gives him and opening, but Tommy stops him. Double Avalanche Powerbomb, Tony and JP are left standing. They start a slobber knocker, Tony obviously wins the strikes but it turns into rope runs and a double down Lariat. Willie pulls himself up before anyone else, Tony hits the Piledriver on JP as Willie grabs the bottle. A Piledriver for Tommy from Tony and Tony opens the bottle and takes a big swig. Pours the Bacardi down JP’s throat and does the same to Tommy. Both Backseats get drown in Bacardi, Meteorite incoming! JWO wins but the Luciano Family hits the ring right afterwards and the beatdown continues!

J is upset on commentary because Willie and Tony told him not to get involved, and he hates not being able to help. 

Blast from the Past: Big Baby Bitch Boy vs The Jail Bird Man w/Eugene JCW Monster’s Island #2, March 2012

Josh Bishop w/Joel Gertner vs Krule

Bishop and Krule start off hot just tossing each other, both trade suplexes and no sells, as they glare at one another and then just club at each other. Just a bar fight between two big boys. Krule tries to toss Bishop but Bishop skins the cat, grabs Krule’s leg and Suplexes him. The double goozle, dueling boots, but Krule gets the best of that. They trade splashes in the corners, but Bishop cuts Krule in half with the shoulder tackle! Krule pulls the referee in the way, Jeff the ref crashes. Bishop eats a Full Nelson Slam, Caleb hands Krule the title, Krule hits Bishop but Bishop no sells the belt shot. Bishop gets lifting and Dumping Krule, Attitude Adjustment, but the ref is still down. Caleb pulls out Bishop, Gertner revives the referee and can see Caleb is interfering. Krule pulls Bishop back into the ring forcibly and a Choke Slam from outside in just to send a message.

We end with Alice Crowley getting a call from Vince Russo that she’ll be the show runner next week and Kerry Morton has a proposal for her. 

Overall Score: 7.25/10

The Phantom gimmick has grown stale for me, but at least he changes colors…so I guess that’s something. Kerry Morton, I liked when he was a heel and am enjoying this weird tweener situation we find ourselves in. Choppa City booking themselves in an easy match was funny, Bacardi on a Pole match was kinda dumb, but it also was perfect as an homage to the running joke of Russo loving “on a pole” matches.

Barnabas getting more threatening is interesting, Alice having the book next week really implies that Dani’s days are numbered and they actually are doing an okay job at making Mr Happy somewhat sympathetic given his awful situation with Jasmin. I am starting to grow tired of the Luciano Family versus JWO thing, but the fact that it’s gonna be a GoreGames thing should imply a blow off. So I can only be so mad, when it looks like it’s coming to a head.

All in all, solid show, entertaining, and a few moments of salient wrestling to remind you that it’s a wrestling show. But as I always say, you don’t tune in for the wrestling. And if you do, you’re going to be disappointed, so don’t screw yourself and just go in expecting Crash TV and Jerry Springer type crap. It’s fun.