Andrew’s JCW Lunacy LIVE! Results & Ratings: Ep # 96

Lunacy rocking at a special time! Early morning or late night Lunacy leading to Bloodymania 19! The Gathering of the Juggalos in full swing, lifting and switching the flow during the show. We get to see who gets an advantage for GoreGames, HoKane and Barnabas are gonna have something in store for Dani Mo and Kerry Morton gonna try to avoid getting screwed over the by Russo crew so he can get a clear shot at Caleb Konley.

Maybe we even get the Orange Phantom bouncing in the gatheration while breathing Faygo and snorting fire ants or some crap. Josh Bishop might get involved because the day ends in Y and he likes to hear Vince Russo cry.

Ratings:

• Number 1 Contender Qualifier: J-Rod vs Mickie Knuckles: J-Rod wins via DQ – ** 1/2
• JCW Battle Royal Championship: Kongo Kong wins – *** 1/2 – TITLE CHANGE!!!
• Number 1 Contender Qualifier: Sonny Kiss vs Hollyhood Haley J: Haley wins via Stomp – * 1/2
• JCW Lunacy Championship: Caleb Konley (c) vs Kerry Morton: Caleb retains via Burning Hammer – *** 3/4
• Dijak w/Team Luciano vs EC3 w/JWO: I…don’t know…the referee started fighting people…no contest? – N/A

Results:

The show started 45 minutes late…JCW just doesn’t like to start on time. And Big Al comes out as a Special Guest Commentator for the qualifier. 

Number 1 Contender Qualifier: J-Rod vs Mickie Knuckles

Mickie seems to have lost a bit of weight and is walking out with a turkey leg…this is a little different. 

I do love J-Rod…so I’m biased here. J-Rod tries to over power Mickie, but Mickie gets weird with some quirky, Toru Yano style of avoiding and quirky retreat, J-Rod wants the Test of Strength, but Mickie grabs J-Rod’s breast and takes her by surprise slightly. They go for a strike exchange, Mickie Shoulder Checks but J-Rod lifts Mickie, Snake Eyes into a Big Boot and Ground & Pound. J-Rod snaps off a quick Snap Suplex, but Mickie kicked out at one. Jawbreaker from Mickie stuns J-Rod, but J-Rod grabs the hair and cuts off Mickie’s momentum. J-Rod keeps Mickie in the corner, but when J-Rod Charges, Mickie moves and J-Rod posts herself. Hip Attacks from Mickie as J-Rod is getting rocked. Mickie charges but J-Rod dodges as she smashes Mickie’s face in the buckles. J-Rod bounces Mickie from corner to corner.

Mickie fires up, multiple shoulder checks, T-Bone Suplex and Mickie is crawling to her turkey leg for a snack. Mickie starts charging Headbutts, but then she swings wildly and a big Sidewalk Slam from J-Rod for a near fall. J-Rod starts talking shit to Big Al, and Alice walks down the ramp. J-Rod uses the distraction to grab a steel chain, but Mickie hits the Spinning Back Fist to take the chain. The referee turns around and he sees Mickie hit J-Rod with the chain wrapped around the fist. So J-Rod qualifies for the Triple Threat due to DQ.

Barnabas and HoKane have an interview calling out Dani with a proposition to address the entire situation. So our next segment is Dani coming out into the ring in a D.A.R.E. shirt which is ironic since she was the drug dealer supplying The Outbreak, a little of her neon clown face paint, looking cute as hell. She calls out Barnabas and we’re gonna see what the proposition is. Barnabas wants to know where Jackson and Abel are. Barnabas says they don’t care about her, just the drugs she can give them. HoKane goes to attack Dani from behind, but Dani anticipates it and cuts her off. Barnabas gets involved, they beat on Dani, but then Jackson and Abel make the save for Dani.

Jackson and Abel follow Dani up the ramp, Dani challenges HoKane to a title match at Bloodymania. The match will be, If HoKane wins she gets the title but if Dani wins, she gets Jackson and Abel. Barnabas doesn’t want to agree but HoKane agrees to the terms. Barnabas’ whole side show may collapse after Bloodymania. 

JCW Battle Royal Championship

Shane Mercer is number 1, Mike Wormfinger, who is Moshpit Mike with one of his 1000 gimmicks, this time he’s a fly fisherman. Bell rings and Shane just throws Mike across the ring but Mike pulls out a net and tries to catch Mercer but it just makes him made, then Mercer snaps the fishing pool around Mike’s neck and eliminates him, but Mike takes a messy fall. Bootleg Dave is next and Exploder Suplex sends the homeless Godwin over head, tosses him around, chokes him across the rope, but FTG slides in and then Mercer just X-Plexes him for fun, throws one dude into another dude, and just works them over. Buzzsaw Nate is next out, he tries to light up Mercer, all three random dudes gang up on him, Stunner from Buzzsaw but Mercer levels them, kicks the Hillbilly in the head and eliminates him, Double Backdrops the other two and takes out the trash. The ring is empty again.

Ring Rat is next! Rat is a cutie with a giant booty, so Mercer might not be able to throw her around too easily. Rat is crawling around and getting on her knees to try and convince him to play nice, but he just grabs her, lifts her up the corner, Moonsault and Battery, then he dumps her out ass first. Matt Cross is the next one out. Are they gonna work together or fight?

Shane and M-Dogg shake hands and tie up a bit. M-Dogg with a quick kick, roll and launch, but Cross gets elevated, holds on, Stomps Mercer’s back but Mercer with the Lariat and M-Dogg Low Bridges so Mercer eliminates himself so Mercer pulls out Cross, the ring is empty as Cross and Shane brawl into the crowd. Choppa Man Atiba is next, and there’s no one to fight, so he just gets to dance and Chop. Hollywood Choppa Bruce Wayans is next out? Will Choppa City fight or just wait…my money is on wait and just have a Chop party. They go through some funny Chop kata, but CoKane comes out next. The crowd tosses in straws to help CoKane chop his breakfast on a mirror and chop down the Choppas. He rocks them both, back and forth Forever Lariats in opposing corners. But before an elimination we get new music. Moshpit Mike is back out in a Convict gimmick. Convict Mike shanks CoKane, then works him over and face washes Bruce. Steven Flowe is next out with his busted ass Gold Guitar.

Flowe is on CoKane, CoKane tries to fight back, but now we gets some Luciano Family music for Sally Boy to make-a da pasta. More Luciano music, Vincenzo is out next to throw hands at CoKane. Choppas and Lucianos are working together, no eliminations yet, just brawling. Joel Gertner starts talking, so that means Josh Bishop is coming out. Bishop is taking a little time but no sells Choppa City. Then Sally Boy tries to jump Bishop but eats a Chokeslam and then gets thrown out. Convict Mike charges, gets tossed. Vincenzo charges but eats a Boot then gets Lariated out. CoKane and Bishop stare at each other, CoKane rope run, but then gets turned inside out and then Lariated out. Stage Dive from Flowe and Bishop throws Flowe up the ramp. Only the Choppas are still int he ring with Bishop. Facade is out next, the Neon Ninja….go ninja, go ninja! Facade flies at Bishop, the quick feet of Facade get Bishop a little off balance but not too bad, Facade Springboards but Bishop catches him. Father Bronson comes out next, and Bishop is distracted. Facade tosses Bishop because Bronson distracted him.

Facade and the Choppas have a plan to work together. Tarzan Duran is next! Elusive and even though it’s a 3 on 1, Tarzan is rolling. Mikey Funk is next, Moshpit Mike on gimmick 3! Funk goes for Tarzan first, then tries the Sharpshooter on Facade, but Facade is rocking the Funker. Kongo Kong is net! The longest reigning JCW World Champion in his instantly eliminates Funk. Facade hits a Ninja Kick on Kong, but Kong no-sells. Facade is out! Tarzan goes after Kongo, but Kongo just Suplexes Tarzan out to the floor. Kerry Morton is the final entrant as Kongo slaps Choppa City around a little. Kerry walks in with the huge Battle Royal championship. Caleb Konley attacks Kerry before he can even enter the Battle Royal. Chair attack, Rocket Launcher into the ring. Choppas are fighting Kongo and they say that Kerry has until the count of 10 to get in or he’s eliminated. Kerry isn’t fully in at the 10 count, so he’s eliminated, which adds heat to World title match. Kong eliminates Atiba, Bruce and Kongo are left. Kongo hits Bruce with a Discus Headbutt and tosses him. Kongo Kong is the Battle Royal Champion.

Mr Anderson can’t make Bloodymania, so Steven Flowe asks Shane Mercer to help him out. He tries to offer Ring Rat, Shane rejects that, he then offers the Golden Guitar and Shane works with that. 

Number 1 Contender Qualifier: Sonny Kiss vs Hollyhood Haley J

Haley and Sonny had a small partnership for a while but they start the match by twerking until Sonny Double Legs Haley and then Haley turns it around they brawl. Ohtani Facewashfollowed by a Twerk, Knee right to face of Sonny and Reverse Meteora for a one count. Haley charges but gets tripped, rocked, and Sonny hits the Back Handspring Bitch Slap. Sonny then Chokes Haley by bouncing her ass off Haley’s head. Haley counters a Whip into a Satellite Crossbody for only two. Discus Lariat from Sonny, and Haley slowly fights back up. Scoop Slam into the Moonsault from Sonny, only a two count. Sonny Presses Haley, but Haley slips it, a few Backfists, Thrust Kick, Tilt-a-Whirl DDT but Sonny gets the foot on the ropes.

Sonny pulls Haley’s hair, Sonny wants the Back Handspring Knees but Haley moves and Stomp gives her the three count. So at Bloodymania the Triple Threat will be: J-Rod vs Alice Crowley vs Haley J

Not a great match, but I’ve seen worse earlier today. 

Kerry Morton jumps Caleb in the back, steals the belt and says “Follow me to the fuckng ring”. Kerry talks about Caleb’s pure silver belt, wants to melt it down, Kerry wants to fight Caleb right now. Kerry calls out Vince and Violent J for right now.

JCW Lunacy Championship: Caleb Konley (c) vs Kerry Morton

Caleb’s music hits and Caleb slides in, they start fighting and the bell rings. Kerry thinks about using the belt but realizes the bell rang. So he just likes up Caleb and Lariats him to the outside. Nick Gage however is in the crowd as is Brett Lauderdale, Vipress and Parrow. Kerry with the Enzuigiri and Caleb is begging off in the corner. Kerry is just staring him down. Kerry is bouncing Caleb from corner to corner, musses the Discus Lariat and Caleb posts Kerry. Caleb stays on Kerry, a clubbing blow, chokes him with the foot and and Caleb hits the ropes but Kerry drops down to try a Cradle, but Caleb kicks out, Back Elbow into a Brainbuster, but Kerry kicks out at one.

Kerry is annoyed but still getting smacked around and turned inside out. Caleb goes back to choking Kerry with his foot and then wraps Kerry’s arm around the post. Caleb continues to focus a limb. Caleb has pressure on the shoulder trying to hyper extend it. But a Jawbreaker into the Dropkick gives Kerry some space. Kerry charges and misses, so Caleb works on the arm he’s been focused on. Kerry trying to punch up, but eats a Ripcord Backfist. Only a two count, but Kerry is getting rocked and they pan to the GCW crew but they aren’t doing anything yet. Caleb wants an Avalanche move, but Kerry slips it, Uppercut and then he starts punching Caleb in the face, Superplex!

Slugfest continues, kicks, forearms, a Discus Forearm from Kerry into the his pelvic thrusts, but they both hit Pump Kicks into the Tully Blanchard Special, Slingshot Suplex for a two count! Kerry finaly acknowledges the GCW losers, but looks for Kiss it Goodbye and misses, Enzuirgiri, Caleb wants the Burning Hammer, but ref bump! Kerry slips the move, hits Kiss it Goodbye, but the referee is dead. Kerry wants a Piledriver to continue the offense while the ref is down, but Caleb with the Back Drop. Caleb grabs the belt, swings, misses, Kerry grabs it, Kerry doesn’t want to cheat, puts it down, goes for his Kiss it Goodbye and Caleb catches him with the belt! Caleb shakes the ref, 1…2…Kerry kicks out!

Kerry is showing a lot of grit, Caleb is talking shit, Kerry fires, misses the Discus and eats the Combo Breaker. Caleb goes up top, Turn Around Moonsault, Kiss it Goodbye! But too close to the ropes! Caleb gets his foot on the ropes. Kerry is determined, Caleb is still trying to crawl back up, Kiss it…but Caleb uses the referee as a shield! Low Blow, Burning Hammer and Caleb retains.

Gutsy match from Kerry, pretty good honestly. A little clunky here or there, but Kerry is a star. 

Dijak w/Team Luciano vs EC3 w/JWO

Mad Man Pondo gets added as Special Guest Referee.

Dijak tries a Discus immediately but EC3 avoids it and mauls Dijak into the corners. Jasmin and Vito are already annoying EC3 so Dijak attacks him. JWO team is having issues with the GCW guys. In the ring, EC3 is getting rocked, Violent J tells security to kick out GCW. Dijak levels EC3 and then looks to see what’s going on with GCW. Dijak starts just doing his “Feast your Eyes” taunt a few times and taking things lightly. Side Slam from Dijak, but a kick out at 1. Dijak argues with Pondo, and EC3 starts to fight back, EC3 keeps trying to chop down Dijak, but it’s not working yet, EC3 hits a Stunner and that rattle Dijak, so now finally back to back Lariats drops Dijak, STO Back Heel Trip, EC3 wants the 1 Percenter, but Dijak rakes the eyes.

Pondo keeps trying to break the fact that Dijak isn’t listening to 5 counts, Dijak starts fighting with Pondo, and Pondo doesn’t care, he starts lighting up Dijak. Vincenzo and Sally Boy get involved, then Krule gets in, 2 Tuff Tony is in…it just turns into a complete melee. When the referee is fighting people, you know there will be no DQs. Painful Paul comes out to flatten the JWO, Vito calls for a microphone. Vito says he’s not participating, Paul is the fifth guy, Vito is a coach just like Violent J. Lucianos have 3 guys 6’7″ or taller. JWO might die.

Overall Score: 8/10

Absolutely crazy with some pretty good wrestling at times. J-Rod and Alice Crowley kicked off the show, so that makes me happy for aesthetic reasons. The Outbreak being on the line is an interesting twist. Getting the Kerry Morton vs Caleb match as an impromptu match was a little bit of old school that I liked. The Battle Royal having it’s own insanely huge title belt is hilarious to me. It was a pretty entertaining rumble as well, so I have no complaints about that. Haley vs Sonny was probably the low point and the audio issues mixed with a 45 minute delay didn’t help anything, but it was fun. It’s 4am eastern right now, and I’m more entertained than I am tired…so I consider that an absolute win.

Kerry did have the visible pinfall, so he should still have some claim. But the swerve from Vito with being only a coach and having another gigantic dude on his team is gonna do one of two things. It’s gonna make the JWO look like heroes overcoming those odds…or it’s gonna be an expected murder. I really enjoyed this. Now I can only hope that Bloodymania is even half as fun as this show was.