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Andrew’s JCW Lunacy Results & Ratings: Ep# 98

Kerry Morton 5 Minute Challenge! Is Barnabas sorry? Who’s side are the Headbangers on? JCW LUNACY 98!

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So last week’s episode was one of the worst episodes in a few months, but still not bad. Sally Boy got chosen to be a JWO member and seems to be enjoying his drunken Juggalo phase. Kerry Morton had a long promo, that was fun but also bit him in the ass when he was asking for 5 more minutes Caleb Konley. Russo decided to create a 5 minute challenge for Kerry, and over the next 3 weeks, if he can’t win his matches in 5 minutes or less, his career is over. James Storm also won a number one contender match for the Lunacy World Championship.

Let’s also not forget GCW invaded and attacked the JWO…the thing I hated the most about the show because GCW is garbage. Unfortunately GCW will be back this week, let’s hope this is a short angle.

Ratings:

  • Facade vs Painful Paul: Paul wins via Chokeslam – **
  • 5 Minute Challenge: Kerry Morton vs The Backseat Boyz: Kerry wins via Showstopper – ** 3/4
  • Special Guest Referee Mad Man Pondo: James Storm & Josh Bishop w/Joel Gertner vs Caleb Konley & Krule: Krule wins via Choke Bomb – ** 1/4
  • Hokane w/Barnabas the Bizarre vs Alice Crowley: Alice wins via Victory Roll – ***

 

Results:

Facade vs Painful Paul

This barely seems fair.

Facade tries to stick and move, working on being elusive, but Paul catches a foot, chucks Facade into a corner but Facade hits the Hand Stand. He tries to kick Paul, but Paul grabs him, there’s some fighting, Facade turns things into a multiple revolutions Tilt-a-Whirl Headscissors. Paul smashes Facade but is visibly dizzy. Facade tries to take advantage of lack of equilibrium, but Paul hits him with a Big Boot. Gordebuster from Paul, and Paul lifts Facade up to stop the pinfall. Paul wants the Chokeslam, but Facade rocks him with successive kicks, two Ninzaguiri’s, Flying Kick, “Go Ninja Go Ninja Go” chant, but when Facade pins Paul, Paul kicks out at two and sends Facade out of the ring.

Facade goes for a Springboard, but gets caught in mid air, Chokeslam and Paul wins.

Facade put up more of a fight than expected on paper, but Paul still turned him into a stain on the match.

Mac Davis is in the back talking to Moshpit Mike in a Bigfoot Hunter gimmick. Mike wants to capture Bigfoot and turn him into the greatest wrestler. 

The Backseat Boyz are talking to Violent J, bitching that they haven’t been booked. So J decides to make them Kerry’s first 5 Minute Challenge. 

Another Orange Phantom promo with him scaling different tall things. I am liking his little gimmick saying of “The rhyme of it is…NOTHING RHYMES WITH ORANGE”. 

5 Minute Challenge: Kerry Morton vs The Backseat Boyz

This is a hell of a first draw, seems messed up since Violent J made it and Russo didn’t even stack the deck against Kerry. But Kerry does come out to play with the crowd before getting in the ring. The crowd loves Kerry.

Tommy and JP distract Kerry early, but Kerry fights back, manages to use them both to take each other out. JP powders, Tommy claws the eyes and the Backseats go for some quick tags, and Kerry really hasn’t found an opening, Backseats even do their goofy little boy band spin and Double Superkick. Snapmare, into multiple knees to the back and a Chinlock, but Kerry finally fights up. Sunset Flip but nope. There’s two minutes left and Kerry is finally fighting out of a Double Team. Throwing strikes, Power Slam on JP. Hip Attack on Tommy, then a flying Back Elbow as Kerry hits the Kip Up. Kerry wants Kiss It Goodbye, but JP grabs the foot and Tommy blindsides him.

Wishbone into a ground and pound and there’s 1 minutes left. They go for a tandem move but Kerry shoves JP into Tommy, then Kiss it Goodbye on JP and Showstopper on Tommy! Kerry wins with 33 seconds left on the clock.

Not bad at all, Kerry was getting beat on nearly the entire time, but a solid underdog style. 

Special Guest Referee Mad Man Pondo: James Storm & Josh Bishop w/Joel Gertner vs Caleb Konley & Krule

Caleb calls out James first, and they actually fight. Caleb doesn’t pussy out, he cracks James with a few punches, Pie Faces James in the corner but Pondo actually puts a stop to closed fists and James fires back. Arm Drags, strikes and levels Caleb. Storm tags out so Caleb quickly scatters to tagging out to Krule. Josh gets the best of Krule because Krule sucks for a 7 footer. Quick tag, they go for a little tandem offense, Storm tries a pinfall but Krule kicks out at 1.

Krule and Caleb do start taking control of the match after the initial flourish. Krule walks down Pondo so Caleb can get in some cheapshots, then Caleb takes a cheapshot on Bishop to allow for more illegal contact. Krule throws Storm back in, Caleb works him over then tags out to Krule. Krule just kicks Storm straight in the face. Krule wipes out Bishop, and then Caleb tags in and they go for a tandem move on Storm again. Bishop actually is trying to rally Storm, Storm gets up, Elbows, Sole Butt into a Discus Lariat!

Simultaneous tag, big men doing big stuff! Bishop is dominating Krule though Corner to Corner, Shoulder Tackle, Death Valley Driver, Storm with a blind tag, but Krule knocks Bishop out of the ring, so Storm attacks Krule. Pondo is getting sick of Caleb’s bullshit, so Pondo starts beating on Caleb. Back in the ring, Codebreaker from Storm, but Shane Mercer attacks Storm! Shane goes right after the surgically repaired ankle! Pondo knocks out Caleb with a Stop Sign, and when he turns, Krule hits the Choke Bomb on Storm. Pondo counts 3, and even thought Caleb is dead on the ramp, he won.

Blast from the Past: Bloodymania: Pogo the Clown vs Abdullah the Butcher vs Jake Roberts, August 12, 2007

Mac interviews Sally Boy in the bathroom, he says the Faygo juice is alright and the Juggalettes are better. He wouldn’t consider himself a Juggalo, but he’s enjoying his time. Vito walks in and starts to berate Sally Boy. Paul walks in to protect Sal. Vito tries to ask Sally to team up against Paul, but Sal just walks off. The door closes and Vito and Paul can be heard fighting. 

Hokane w/Barnabas the Bizarre vs Alice Crowley

Hokane has a very…Devil’s Carnival inspired entrance song and Barnabas comes out reluctantly…seems like Hokane is in charge of him now.

Hokane with the hair pull tie up, shoves Al into the corner and Hokane hits a Chop, but Al takes her down with a few Arm Drags, then kicks her in the knee and Knee Lift rocks Hokane. Al looks to dive but Barnabas grabs the foot saying “I’m Sorry”. Hokane attacks Al, throttles her against the ropes, takes her down with a Back Elbow and then Elbow Drop. Hokane goes for an arrogant cover, so Al kicks out. Al retreats to the ropes, fights back, but Hokane keeps the momentum after a Back Elbow and a choking her against the ropes. Hokane misses a Corner Splash, but turns into a Diving Lariat and Alice eats it. Hokane smashes her head into the mat, and as Hokane lifts her, Jawbreaker, Al tries the Lariat but Hokane ducks it, German Suplex into a Senton for two.

Alice fights out of the corner, a few boots into Back Elbows and Lariats. Al hits the Saito Suplex, but only two. Big Al wanted a Tilt-a-Whirl Backbreaker but Hokane counters into her own Choke Breaker. Hokane goes up, Diving Senton with a cute bridging pin, so Al kicks out since it wasn’t a real pin. Hokane shoves Al into the corner, Shoulder Tackles, perches Al, then goes for an elevated Bootwash as Hokane cackles. Hokane has her in a Electric Chair, but Alice turns it into a Roll-Up! Al wins via Victory Roll!

CoKane comes out, Hokane is giddy thinking he’s there for her. She jumps into his arms, he drops her and then hits the Cokeslam on Hokane.

Show ends with Bigfoot Hunter Mike and Mac Davis talking about finding a Sasquatch in the city, there’s a Bigfoot in the background, and they get tipped off by the cameraman to start chasing him down.

Overall Score: 7.75/10

Now see this is more like it. Get the GCW garbage out of the way early, and have a fun variety show of side show ridiculousness. The matches weren’t bad, Bigfoot Hunter Mike could be a funny gimmick for a few weeks and even though he hasn’t wrestled yet, I already like the Orange Phantom more the Green and Purple. Paul being the enforcer for the JWO is nice, as Vito keeps running his mouth and can’t back shit up. So watching the Lucianos fall apart is pretty fun. The Headbangers laying out Choppa City is interesting, but to me it just screams that the JWO will get involved in that match to cost Headbangers since Violent J still holds a grudge, thus, allowing Choppa City to continue being the most undeserving tag champions in wrestling (remember, I do like their gimmick, but the only thing they can do cleanly is wipe their own asses…I hope).

The twist with Barnabas showing regret but Hokane now pulling the strings is interesting. They remembered there was a women’s division for more than just Dani’s family segment. Even though, Dani trying to teach The Outbreak how to hit on Juggalettes was actually pretty funny. And Kerry Morton lives to fight another week! They really need to get the belt back on Kerry, he’s money.

Anyway, really good show! Passable wrestling, crazy story stuff, good comedy and GCW’s involvement was done in the first 5 minutes. I couldn’t have asked for much else.

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