Joe’s AAA Review & Results (3/4/19)

Joe Dinan, The Chairshot’s resident Lucha Libre expert, has your review and results for AAA for this week!

Show starts with Psycho Clown talking to someone on the phone.

Dinastia vs Baby Extreme vs Orquidea Negra

An unscheduled match. AAA is good at just throwing things your way. I’m here to point out how small Dinastia is. They trade some spots and Dinastia and Baby do push ups. Negra misses a move and Baby Extreme takes advantage of it. Baby hurricanrana’s Dinastia to the outside then hits a tornado dive. Negra jumps off the apron and misses and slams into the barricade. Dinastia works around Baby and hits a head scissors to the outside. God bless him. He’s really athletic. Dinastia hits a Spanish fly off the middle rope on Negra. He breaks his pin to attack Baby. He pins both for a two count. Dinastia hits a springboard cutter to the outside on Baby. Negra then hits a dive through the middle rope on both of them. Negra kisses the ref for some reason. Dinastia hits a canadian destroyer on Baby. Then he hits a twisting splash on both for the pin. Dinastia wins with a twisting splash.

Winner: Dinastia

Lady Shani and Starfire vs Faby Apache and Keyra

Starfire and Keyra start the match rolling around on the ground. Shani comes in next with Faby and they posture to the crowd. Shani gets pulled down by Keyra and the heel assault begins. Keyra hits a drop kick in the corner on Starfire. They take out Shani and Starfire tries to beat on Keyra but Apache stops that. Starfire dodges an attack and Faby hits Keyra by accident. Shani hits a back cracker and then Starfire hits a code breaker. Starfire hits a tiger suplex on Faby but Keyra breaks it up with a foot stomp. Keyra gets her in a pinning combo and Shani kicks her right in the vagina to break it up. Shani hits a power bomb and then shining wizard on Keyra but Faby breaks it up. Faby hits a hurricanrana that Shani rolls into and then rolls Faby around the ring for a pinning combo. Just for two. Shani then gets an arm bar on Shani. Faby tries to lift her but can’t. She sells the arm. Starfire drop kicks Faby and then she no sells. Faby power bombs her and goes to the top in the meantime Keyra pins her. Faby is upset. Keyra pins Starfire after Faby power bombed her.

Faby cuts a promo about it but Keyra yanks the mic away from her. Keyra’s heeling it up. Keyra attacks Faby but Faby turns the tables and back breakers her. Keyra gets up while Faby thanks the crowd and attacks her again.

Winners: Faby Apache and Keyra

Golden Magic, Nino Hamburguesa, and Myzteziz Jr vs Jack Evans, Australian Suicide (Villano III Jr), and Taurus

Golden Magic and Villano III were just shoving each other during entrances. Magic and Villano start out doing some acrobatic things back and forth. Myzteziz hurricanrana’s Villano to the outside and Taurus comes into to work with him. He moves out of the way on Taurus’ attack and hits a springboard tornado splash. Jack and Myzteziz do some acrobatic things and then Jack kicks him in the face. Taurus comes in and takes out Nino at the legs but Myzteziz hits a drop kick on him. He goes for a dive but Villano spears him. Taurus back crackers Magic into a super kick by Villano. Now they’re beating on Nino in the corner. Taurus throws Myzteziz in the air then catches him for a samoan drop. Magic gets Taurus down in the corner. Myzteziz drop kicks Villano in the corner then they knock Evans into the corner. Nino does the running senton twice into the corner. Crowd’s going crazy. They all roll to the outside and Nino hits a dive through the middle rope. In the ring Myzteziz goes for a springboard 450 but just doesn’t do it. Taurus then spears him and hits a snow plow for the win. Taurus pins Myzteziz with a snow plow.

Australian Suicide and Sammy Guevara come out and lay out everyone with chairs. Well I guess we know why they weren’t in the match. They align with Evans as a new trio. And Jack cuts a pretty decent promo in Spanish actually. Vowel inflection was off but it’s fine.

Winners: Jack Evans, Villano III Jr, and Taurus

Maximo, Mamba, and Pimpinela Escarlata vs Mocho Cota Jr, Carta Brava Jr, and Tito Santana

Cota and Maximo start the match and quickly Mamba gets in and it’s all chaos. Eventually Poder de Norte starts to team up on them which is a usual formula for their matches. Escarlata uses her butt to start Carta and then Mamba slaps everyone and Maximo hits a hurricanrana on Santana. Mamba kisses Carta and he falls out of the ring. Maximo hits an arm drag on Cota then does some sexually suggestive stuff. Mamba hits an arm drag on Santana and then Mamba kisses and holds on to them. Brava takes out Escarlata then Mamba slaps him from behind. Cota and Santana hit drop kicks on Maximo and and Mamba then hit middle rope dives. In the ring Brava kicks Escarlata in the groin after she kissed the ref by accident. Maximo kisses Brava then pretends he was hit in the groin. Ref DQs Brava. Maximo wins by DQ after pretending Brava kicked him below the belt.

Maximo wants the hair vs hair match with Mascara

Winners: Maximo, Mamba, and Pimpinela Escarlata

Brian Cage, Laredo Kid, and Hijo Del Vikingo vs Texano Jr, Taurus (Sammy Guevara), and Hijo Del Fantasma (Daga)

Well Daga is back in AAA. This constitutes as a surprise. A bunch of posturing to start this match. Sammy points the finger at Laredo and Laredo kicks him in the gut. Sammy messes up a clothesline spot and completely whiffs on a drop kick. Texano quickly disposes of Vikingo then Cage comes in. Cage does a head scissors and then in the ring Sammy hits a curb stomp on Kid. Some posturing is done afterwards. Texano gets his rope in the ring and whips Vikingo with it. Not a DQ for some reason. Cage gets back on the apron and Texano squats while vertical suplexing Vikingo and postures towards Cage. Daga is just toying with Vikingo. Vikingo bounces off the ropes and flip kicks Daga, then attacks the others on the aprons. Cage military press slams Sammy and then poses. Laredo does a flipping DDT on Sammy. Daga and Kid go back and forth. Daga throws him in the air and catches him for a death valley. Then does a gutwrench suplex. Vikingo works with Sammy then Cage does an F5 on Texano and Daga interferes. Cage then double suplexes them. Vikingo hits an imploder 450 off the ropes and by hits i mean completely misses. Cage then hits a dive over the top with the help of the ropes. Sammy hits a Spanish fly and Kid kicks out. He goes to the top and Kid meets him up there. They fight but Sammy rips the mask off, while the ref is distracted and then pushes him off and hits a shooting star press. He blocks Kid’s face and pins him. Sammy pins Laredo Kid with a shooting star press.

Cage is upset and attacks Sammy but Suicide and Evans come out. Cage power bombs both then Myzteziz comes out from the back and they attack them too. Cage poses with them and Rey Escorpion comes out and attacks him with a chair. Utter chaos. Now they team up with the Mercenaries. Are they all a faction now? They laid everyone out and took their masks. Evans and Guevara put their masks on.

Winners: Texano Jr, Sammy Guevara, and Daga

Psycho Clown, Pagano, and Aerostar vs Rey Escorpion, Chessman, and Monster Clown

Clown gets attacked during his entrance….Psycho Clown I mean. A drink gets thrown and Rey throws Psycho into the crowd. Monster clown works on Aerostar as you might expect. Which leaves Chessman working on Pagano. A whole lot of beat downs. I figured since Wagner and Demon aren’t in this match that it would be more of a match. I was wrong there. Finally a come back gets made and Psycho and his pals get everyone to the out. They all go for dives through the middle rope except Aerostar goes flying into the crowd. They all get back in the ring and Aerostar gets Monster Clown out. Then Rey and Chessman team up on him. He’s able to get Chessman out and Rey launches him to the outside where he hits a hurricanrana. Psycho and Rey go back and forth and Rey wins that battle. Clown recoups though and catches fire taking everyone out. Hitting a hurricanrana on Chessman then hitting a dive through the middle rope on Escorpion. Pagano goes back and forth with Chessman, hitting a hurricanrana on him which leads to Pagano getting wroked on by Monster and Rey. Pagano hits a sloppy attack off the top  Pagano sunset flips on Chessman but his legs hit the set up table and it falls and a camera man helps it back up so then he power bombs Chessman through the table. Psycho the hit another middle rope dive on Rey. In the ring Monster Clown and Aerostar go back and forth until Monster Clown hits a move where he flips Aerostar up by his head and he lands on his back. Let’s call it a flip up slam. Monster Clown beats Aerostar with a slam where he flips him up by his head.

Winners: Rey Escorpion, Chessman, and Monster Clown

(Hijo Del Perro Aguayo Cup) La Parka vs Blue Demon vs Dr. Wagner Jr

Well they start brawling and La Parka immediately using the Cup to attack Wagner. Not a very baby face thing. So the thing here is, everyone remember the wrestler that died by accident when Rey Mysterio when he set up the 619. Very unfortunate. Blue Demon is busted open with his mask ripped. Wagner bites the wound spot. Demon clearly seems dazed from what busted him open so in true AAA fashion Wagner takes him into the crowd and him and baby face Parka beat on him. What an odd dynamic. Blue Demon feels like the baby face here. Demon looks like he’s hurt or selling like a baby face. He’s bleeding all over the place. This is so awkward. Demon is bleeding so bad. Parka is doing stuff to him. Wagner is posturing to the crowd. This has to be a double turn here. The crowd is booing when something happens to Demon. Blue Demon makes a baby face come back and hits a middle rope dive. Now Texano and Escorpion come out to beat on Parka now? What is happening. I’m guessing an audible was called to prevent an actual double turn. I could be wrong but that’s how I’m seeing it. Now they’re selling Parka as being immobile in the ring while Texano whips him. Now Blue Demon is beating on Wagner. Wagner is now bleeding tons. This match is a mess. I’m gonna have to ask Konnan about it. The Mercenaries are beating on Myzteziz who has had two failed run-ins. They tried to take Parka out on a stretcher. Now everyone is starting to leave that was interfering. Demon hits a cross body. Now there’s a ref bump. Wagner kicks Demon in the balls. No ref. Demon no sells. Demon then hits Wagner in the nuts and wins. This match….was something. Blue Demon pins Wagner with a kick in the groin. 

Winner: Blue Demon Jr