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Andrew’s Impact Wrestling Ratings & Analysis: 12/17/2019

Impact has seen a nice resurgence in 2019. Moving towards the holiday do we get more build to Hard to Kill or Christmas phoning it in?

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Impact has seen a nice resurgence in 2019. Moving towards the holiday do we get more build to Hard to Kill or Christmas phoning it in?

Sami Callihan is supposed to expose Tessa Blanchard, Tenille Dashwood returns, Joey Ryan faces Acey Romero as his Wrestler’s Court punishment and RVD continues to act like the douchey college jock.

I don’t have anything else cute to say. and no real clever promos tonight.

Well…umm…take a look? It’s in a book? Reading Rainbow?

I got nothing, continue on.

Ratings:

  • Jordynne Grace vs Tenille Dashwood: Jordynne wins via Head and Leg Cradle – ** 1/2
  • TJP w/Fallah Bahh vs Daga: TJP wins via Iron Maiden – *** 1/2
  • Ethan Page w/Josh Alexander vs Rich Swann w/Willie Mack: Page wins via DQ – ***
  • Acey Romero vs Joey Ryan: Joey Ryan wins via Sweet Tooth Music – ** 
  • Petey Williams vs Ace Austin: Ace wins via The Fold – ** 1/2

 

Analysis:

Jordynne Grace vs Tenille Dashwood – We haven’t seen Tenille in a hot minute since her loss at Bound for Glory, but it’s nice to see her return to Impact. The match was pretty competitive, Tenille had Jordynne on the backfoot most of the match, especially after a Hanging Neck Breaker. Tenille hits her Taste of Tenille, and then goes for a Butterfly Suplex instead of a finisher. SO that’s kinda awkward, La Magistral attempt turns into Jordynne stopping the momentum and turning the pin attempt in her favor. Jordynne picks up a surprising win after a decent match, Taya attacks Jordynne and Tenille makes the save.

Moose confronts Rhino in the back teasing him that Moose’s Spear beat RVD, something the Gore couldn’t do. So Rhino Gores Moose for his trouble. I guess this is building to an eventual match.

TJP w/Fallah Bahh vs Daga – TJP and Daga come out to put on a hell of a match. TJP’s first match in a few weeks for Impact and Daga doing the damn thing. This went through the commercial break and got a good amount of time. Daga had a few opportunities, but TJP kept his head above water most of this match. For a random match with no build up, this was still pretty damn good.

Desi Hit Squad attack Fallah and TJP, Daga helps out and Shera returns from his spiritual journey. Maybe we get a 6 man in the future. 

RVD comes out basically to continue saying he’s been ripped off by every current wrestler, in between making out with Katie Forbes. He’s doing a great job being the douchey guy from college that we all hate. 

ImpactPlus Flashback Moment: Motor City Machine Guns vs Generation Me, Tag Team Championship Full Metal Mayhem, Final Resolution, December 5, 2010

This clueless mortal Suzie gimmick has been amusing, and it looks like we’re creeping closer to the pay off.

We see Taya ask Madison Rayne and Keira Hogan for help, and like any smart wrestlers, they want something if they decide to help Taya. Taya says if she’s still champ after Hard to Kill, she’ll give both of them title shots.

Ethan Page w/Josh Alexander vs Rich Swann w/Willie Mack – Page and Alexander start their mind games against the number one contenders,and for some reason Page thought a singles match would be a good time. Page shows he’s more than just a loud mouth by keeping up with Swann. Alexander interferes a little on the obvious side to distract the referee, so when Willie Mack tries to say something, it costs Swann in the form of a tandem DDT. Page then follows that up with a nice Gotch Neutralizer before the twist came in. Alexander eats a dive from Swann and Page takes a swing at Mack, causing him to get in the ring and fire back, which gets Swann disqualified. Will The North succeed in breaking apart Willie and Rich?

Acey Romero vs Joey Ryan – Johnny Swinger comes out for commentary and starts making tons of references. Heenanisms, How Much Does This Guy Weigh, just good winks to general idiocy. Acey dominated most of the match until the lollipop went into Kid Ref’s mouth and I guess that counts as a ref bump. Touch it, Swinger interferes to try and do a Fanny Pack version of the Dick Flip, but fails. We get a Dick Flip, second lollipop and Sweet Tooth Music for Joey Ryan to overcome his Wrestler’s Court sentence.

Petey Williams vs Ace Austin – Ace gets a random X Division match just so he can make some comments towards Trey’s mom after the match. The match itself was alright, nothing crazy, but Petey this year has just been trying super hard to pull off Canadian Destroyers even when he could do…anything else…makes the matches a little bland. Not a bad match, but it definitely didn’t stand out that much. Just solid work.

The show ends with Sami Callihan talking about how he’s actually the good guy because he treats Tessa like an equal. Which is effectively an extension of the same stuff he said leading up to Slammiversary but now he’s champion. Tessa comes out, we get a brawl, Fulton jumps Tessa but Shamrock comes out to equalize the numbers. Sami and Tessa brawl to the back and then outside.

Overall Score: 6.25/10

There was a lot of good in ring action in this show, but none of it really had repercussions. Ethan Page versus Rich Swann played into their coming title match, but everything else was more of a stepping stone in the respective storylines. Tenille might find a way into the Hard to Kill match depending on what her level of involvement ends up being, Daga might help Fallah and TJP against the Desi Hit Squad, Ace Austin used the Petey Williams win to get in Trey’s head and Joey Ryan…well that’s some comedy or something.

We get good ring work, not a lot of story build and the show ends on a fade to black during the Tessa and Sami brawl. The episode didn’t bother me, but it felt lackluster and a lot of X Division style matches started to make the episode bleed together. It could’ve been better served with change of pace matches instead of just back to back vignettes, but it wasn’t awful. Just not their best work this year.


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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 6.20.2024

Against All Odd Fallout! Slammiversary World Title Qualifiers!

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Against All Odds is over, and it was a much better show than the shows leading up to it would’ve lead you to believe. Maclin and Santana was a fantastic pairing, Nemeths worked fairly well together but came up short and the main event was over booked, but enjoyable. So we have a bunch of  questions: Is Dango officially in The System, where does Mustafa Ali go from here with his facade broken, do we even care about the Octopus anymore, where do the Hardys play into things and who really stands a chance at dethroning Jordynne Grace?

Hopefully we see how some of these stories start to evolve heading towards Slammiversary!

 

Ratings:

  • The Hex (Allysin Kay & Marti Belle) vs Spitfire (Dani Luna & Jody Threat): Spitfire win via Firecracker – ** 1/4
  • Chicago Street Fight: Ace Steel vs Frankie Kazarian: Kaz wins via Fade to Black – ***
  • ASH by Elegance w/Personal Concierge vs Heather Reckless: ASH wins via Rarefied Air – N/A
  • JDC vs Ryan Nemeth: JDC wins via Down and Dirty – **
  • Slammiversary World Title Match Qualifier: Eric Young vs Josh Alexander: Josh wins via C4 Spike – ***

 

Results:

The System walk out, with Dango in tow. As soon as Lish starts talking, the chorus of boos drown her out a bit, which is impressive cause girl is loud. Ahh so Dango gets reintroduced as “Johnny ‘Dango’ Curtis”, so I guess he’s going back to the Johnny Curtis gimmick now. After Dango cuts a promo on his connections to everyone, Moose says he’s not a part of the group…’yet’. Santino cuts off Moose giving the big best group ever speech. He useded his brains, and he’s making a Road to Slammiversary tournament to qualify people into a 6 Way Title match. Curtis Stoogerman is a good joke name from Santino about Dango. 

This Road to Slammiversary qualifier could be a clever way to put the belt on Hendry while he’s still hot without needing to pin Moose. So it keeps Moose strong and pushes Hendry to the top without any major wrinkles.

https://x.com/i/status/1803946459131449560

The Hex (Allysin Kay & Marti Belle) vs Spitfire (Dani Luna & Jody Threat)

To be completely shallow for a second, if you like thicc gals with athleticism and strength, this is your match. 

Jody and Marti start, Jody get the upper hand, T-Bone Suplex from the corner causes Marti to retreat and tag in Allysin. But Allysin is accosted quickly, tandem offense with Shoulder Tackles, Sliding Lariats, Suplexes and the whole nine, but only near falls. Marti does manage to distract the ref after Allysin kicks out, so Allysin can take a few short cuts to take the advantage. Hex connect on a Flipping Neckbreaker, Senton, PK combination for a near fall before shoving Jody into their corner and hitting the Double Knees and keeping Jody isolated. Allysin tries to pick the ankle of Luna to ruin the tag attempt, but Luna shakes off Allysin and Jody shakes off Marti to get the tag in anyway. Dani cleans house until she tries to go for a pinfall and gets double teamed.

Hex tries to set up Hex Marks the Spot, but Dani fights through, tags in Jody, guards the corner for Jody to hit a Stage Dive Senton. They hit a kind of sloppy version of their tandem finish…but they still win anyway.

Alan Angel’s awful interview show has Kushida. So we’re getting information about the stupid DDT Doc Brown Ink thing, on a joke garbage segment. This is either going to be so stupid its clever, or it will be unmitigated cringe. Cringe it is…Alan Angels has the charisma of a dead fish buried in the sand. 

Chicago Street Fight: Ace Steel vs Frankie Kazarian

Ace walks out with a trash can, chucks it across the ring from the outside, Kaz is distracted so Ace just goes right after him. Ace has total control, Lariats Kaz out of the ring and pegs him with the trash can. Rolls King Kaz back in, and looks to kill the king with the Brainbuster into the trash can. Early pinfall, obviously no finish. Kaz reverses the whip, Ace eats the corner with his chest, gets whipped again and spills out of the ring. Kaz takes the remnants of the trash can and pegs Ace with it before chasing him out and bouncing Ace off the steps and ring posts. Kaz chokes Ace with the camera cable to chants of “Dad from Spy Kids”. Kaz throws Ace back in, Slingshot Guillotine Leg Drop for 2.

Kaz goes searching for chairs and throws them into the ring and then also finds a kendo stick. A few chairshots into a Scoop Slam on the chair and Kaz poses to be a cocky dick. One more attempted chairshot and Ace ducks and it bounces off the ropes and hits Kaz in the face. Ace tries to take advantage, whips Kaz to the corner, looks for a Discus Clothesline, but Kaz bails through the ropes so Ace eats buckles, then Kaz scoops the Kendo Stick and hits Ace a few times. Kaz starts to focus on the left arm, traps it in a chair and goes for the Leg Drop, but Ace gets out! Numerous chairshots from Ace even the score, as he grabs the kendo stick and starts lighting up Kaz. Kaz gets hung up in the corner astride the middle ropes, eats a Dropkick from Ace and then Swinging Neckbreaker into a chair for 2! Ace looks for a DVD or something, Chicken Wing slip, but Ace gets out of that with the ropes. Kaz quickly uses the ropes to Slingshot back in with the DDT for 2. Kaz tries a Chicken Wing with Kendo Stick, but a Low Blow breaks the hold.

Ace tries to hit Kaz with the chair, but Kaz double legs him and Rocket Lauchers him into the corner with the chair in his hand. Fade to Black on chairs, Kaz wins!

After the match Kaz with the Chicken Wing on Ace. Hendry makes the save, Kaz tries to cut him off but runs right into the Standing Ovation. 

https://x.com/i/status/1803956389800481278

PCO has a bunch of people clapping for him and his date in the back, but he attacks them. SDL walks out look like Elvira and…I’m not upset about it. SDL poses a little for PCO during his entrance, holds open the ropes and SDL seems very very into things so far. She even pulls out his chair, and then he grabs her chair and looks like he’s gonna hit her with it, but she calms him down a little. PCO is now lighting the candles and Tom says what I was thinking “I thought he would’ve been afraid of fire”. SDL calls PCO a normal guy, and PCO returns the comment with the Frankenstein grunt. SDL is translating what he says. PCO then drinks some kind of liquid from a decanter, but SDL isn’t a fan of it so calls over the wine and PCO pours the wine for SDL and goes a little overboard. Black spaghetti is the main dish apparently. PCO actually speaks and says it’s the “Stephanie special”. SDL tries to teach him what a fork is, they almost have the Lady and the Tramp moment…but First Cla$$ cuts it off. 

They throw wine into PCO’s face and Rich Superkicks him, SDL actually gets in their face to protect PCO. She gets shoved to the side, AJ Attitude Adjustments PCO and zip tie him to the ropes. SDL slaps the hat and glasses off AJ Francis. AJ Chokeslams SDL through the table as PCO watches. First Cla$$ stands triumphant as PCO wails in the corner tied up.

ASH by Elegance w/Personal Concierge vs Heather Reckless

I mean we all know this is an enhancement match. ASH takes most of the momentum until she gets too cocky, Jawbreaker into some quick spots from Heather in a corner. ASH tries to kick her away can go to the top, Heather with a Shotei, goes for the Spanish Fly, but the Concierge holds ASH’s foot so she doesn’t go with the move, Rarefied Air for the win!

Concierge calls ASH a juggernaut, ASH tries to go for the Juggernaut Driver, but Jordynne comes out to destroy ASH. The concierge actually attacks Jordynne to stop her from Juggernaut Driver-ing ASH, so ASH attacks, claws her eyes from behind, smacks Jordynne with the title and poses with the belt over Jordynne. 

JDC vs Ryan Nemeth

Dango tries to go after Ryan immediately, but he dodges and rocks JDC with a Dropkick. Dango is reeling and Ryan starts bouncing him from pillar to post, Irish Whip and then a Shoulder Tackle into the corner. Ryan goes for a Rude Awakening, but JDC claws the eyes and then hits a Backbreaker to finally get in some offense. JDC with locomotion European Uppercuts into the corners, but Ryan dodges the third, hits the Jumping DDT, into the Rude Awakening, but JDC powders. Ryan throws him back in, tries to follow, but JDC kicks the middle rope, Air Raid Crash into Down and Dirty, JDC wins!

Myers and Edwards come out to celebrate, and mug Ryan. Nic Nemeth runs down to make the save and cleans house. 

Slammiversary World Title Match Qualifier: Eric Young vs Josh Alexander

Things start off slow, collar and elbow tie ups, Arm Wringers, Rope Run, Back Elbow…oh EY does the Flair corner flop, Josh chases and EY ducks and connects with the shoulder into the gut, slides in through the five hole and starts rolling a little. After reeling a bit Josh counters and tries to slap on a Sharpshooter, EY counters into his own Sharpshooter, but Josh breaks at the ropes. EY wrestles Josh down and puts him in a Chin Lock, before Josh starts to finally fire back. EY telegraphs the Back Drop off the whip, Josh kicks him, throws him and lands his own Back Drop. Bounces EY off the corner buckles, hits a King Kong Knee Drop for 2. Josh starts up the Angle German Suplexes, but EY stops it before the third. EY tries the Discus Forearm, Josh kicks the arm, tries something but EY counters it into the Death Valley Driver. EY looks for a chance to continue but Josh fights him off, EY gets seated onto the apron, Low Crossbody spot, EY gets throw back in, Josh goes for the Moonsault – BUT MISSES!

EY slowly heads to the top for the Elbow, Josh tries to cut him off, but EY fights him off and hits the Macho Elbow for a near fall! Wheelbarrow Neckbreaker into Piledriver from EY! 1-2-FOOT ON THE ROPES! Josh still on his Scott Hall shit of “Can’t wait to kick out of your finish”. EY goes for an Avalanche Piledriver, but Josh fights him off, rips him off the corner and goes for the Ankle Lock. EY kicks off the submission, tries the Small Package but on 2. Discus Lariat from EY for 2, another Discus attempt but Josh blocks, peppers a few of his own strikes, C4 Spike, Josh wins lol.

 

Overall Score: 5.5/10

I mean we had a few good matches, but this was a set up show. We got the Slammiversary qualifier set up, Dango gets a story of potentially joining The System, Matt Hardy seems…unbroken but on a rampage, and Jordynne wants ASH immediately. So not a lot of concrete stuff happened today, but that’s to be expected with 5 shows until Slammiversary.

Did it set the table decently? Sure. Did it feel like they shoe horned a Hendry save just because he’s their hottest male wrestler at the moment? Also yes.

There’s potential in the angles, but this episodes was essentially skippable. Did anyone expect Ace or EY to win? Yeah, didn’t think so.


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Andrew’s TNA Against All Odds Results & Match Ratings: 6.14.2024

Broken Matt attempts to procure the Championship of the World! Joe Hendry faces Frankie Kazarian! Jordynne issues an open challege, all at Against All Odds!

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I’ll be honest, since the lead up hasn’t exactly sparked much excitement from me, I can’t really tell what might get relegated to Countdown and what will be on the main show aside from major title stories. So with that being said, I’ll cover the Countdown this time around, because well…who knows what will be on it.

Let’s hope that the bit of momentum with the WWE working relationship and the stories coming out about the locker room being seemingly happy with the direction of things; have to hope that will start to equate to a product that makes some damn sense.

Ratings:

  • Countdown to Against All Odds: Jonathan Gresham vs Sami Callihan: Sami wins via Cactus Driver ’97 – ** 1/4
  • Countdown to Against All Odds: TNA Knockouts Tag Team Titles: DeMALISH (Masha Slamovich & Alisha Edwards) (c) vs The Hex (Marti Belle & Allysin Kay): DeMALISH retain via Steinerizer – ** 3/4
  • Mike Santana & Steve Maclin vs The Rascalz (Trey Miguel & Zachary Wentz): Tri State Exchange wins via Assisted Spin the Block – ****
  • PCO vs Rich Swann w/AJ Francis: PCO wins via PCO-SAULT – **
  • TNA Tag Team Championships: The Nemeth Bros (Ryan & Nic Nemeth) vs The System (Eddie Edwards & Brian Myers) (c): The System retains via Boston Knee Party – ** 3/4
  • Joe Hendry w/Ace Steel vs Frankie Kazarian: Kaz wins via Loaded Fist – ** 1/2
  • X Division Championship: Trent Seven vs Mustafa Ali (c): Ali retains via Scorpion Deathlock – *** 3/4
  • Josh Alexander & Eric Young vs The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey): ABC wins via The Fold – *** 1/2
  • TNA Knockouts Championship: Jordynne Grace (c) vs Tatum Paxley: Jordynne retains via Juggernaut Driver – *** 1/4
  • BROKEN RULES – TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Moose (c) vs Broken Matt Hardy: Moose retains via Lights Out – *** 1/2

 

 

Results:

Countdown to Against All Odds: Jonathan Gresham vs Sami Callihan

Callihan attacks The Octopus on the outside before the bell rings. A few chops around the ring and bounces Gresham’s face off the post twice. Sami goes for the Cactus Driver on the outside, but Gresham rotates all the way through to grab the ropes and counter Sami. Gouges Sami’s face, breaks fingers Pentagon style, and Sami retreats to a different side of the outside of the ring. Octopus chases and keeps working on the hand, but Sami counters and starts going for a few more Knife Edge Chops. Sami tries to Lawn Dart Gresham into the post, but Gresham slips and shoves Sami into the post. Now Octopus back to working on the left hand and arm. Arm Wringers and Uppercuts right into the elbow.

Sami gets some control back, rolls Gresham into the ring and now the match can officially start…OR NOT! Gresham rolls back out and heads under the ring so Sami goes hunting for Octopus. Gresham grabs the left arm from under the ring, uses a chair since the ring obscures the referee’s vision, and then slowly they head back in the ring. Soccer Ball kick to the injured arm, and Gresham continues to try and work on the arm, but Sami is fighting back. Sami tries to Irish Whip, but the sells the left arm! Callihan adjusts his offense and tries to use his legs and only the good right arm. But as soon as he goes for a Cactus Driver, the arm sell happens again.

Gresham rips the mask off the referee, Kushida shows up in a Doc Brown gimmick and with a mask. He attacks Gresham while the ref is distracted to swab out the ink and place it into a vial. Sami connects with the Cactus Driver ’97 and wins.

Insanely gimmicky, extremely stupid. Feels like a dumbass thing that would happen on DDT, not an American program. So they made Gresham talk last night, which ruins the essence of a evil character, and now they have him lose with Kushida trying to do science on what the ink is. I can’t properly express how many brain cells I feel like I lost. 

Countdown to Against All Odds: TNA Knockouts Tag Team Titles: DeMALISH (Masha Slamovich & Alisha Edwards) vs The Hex (Marti Belle & Allysin Kay)

Marti and Alisha start, Marti uses Alisha’s face like a speed bag, tags in Allysin, quick tandem work gives The Hex a nearfall. Alisha manages to run to make the tag, and Masha comes in, but immediately starts dominating Masha. Tandem Snapmare, Fun Splash, Senton, PK, for another near fall from The Hex. Allysin tries to shoot Masha across, Masha gets the Arm Wringer, drives Allysin into her corner, but a Boot stops Masha. Allysin tries to get out and Alisha grabs Allysin by the hair to pull her back.

Alisha gets in a few quick shots, Allysin tries to fight back, but the Eye Rake evens the score. Alisha tags out, Hip Attack from Masha into repeated Snapmares with the hair into a near fall. Short Arm Lariats, Masha connects on two, Allysin counters the third, they both hit the ropes, stereo Clothesline spot into the simultaneous tags. Marti beats on Alisha in the corner, Double Knees into a two count. SAVAT KICK from Masha to level Marti, Allysin takes out Masha, Delish from Alisha, Marti hits The Stroke, and all four are down for a few moments. Rolling Forearm into Saito Suplex for another near fall on Alisha. Hex Marks the…nope Alisha slips the move, Masha gets in things breakdown into a sloppy fight, Alisha tries to shove Allysin into Marti but hits Masha. HEX MARKS THE SPOT, Masha makes the save, barely! Dual spots in corners, Alisha fights off Allysin with the Avalanche Powerbomb, Masha Electric Chairs Marti, STEINERIZER! DeMALISH retain.

Mike Santana & Steve Maclin vs The Rascalz (Trey Miguel & Zachary Wentz)

Rascalz try to utilize their speed and teamwork advantage with a tag out the gates as Trey distracts Santana, Wentz runs in, and they match each other. Counters, dodges, really fun equal footing but different styles opening. Simultaneous tags Trey and Maclin are in, Maclin quickly takes advantage of Trey, tags in Santana and they go for a Dual Suplex, but Wentz catches Trey and then takes out Maclin. Santana gets surprised by Trey, Body Scissors into a Double Stomp, then Trey tags in Wentz and a quick Tandem kick. Santana tries to fight back against Wentz, but Wentz eats a few chops and then turns it around. Tag out to Trey, Trey connects with a low single leg Dropkick for a near fall. Kick Rush from Rascalz, Wentz tries to punctuate with a Stomp on the back of the head but Santana dodges and Double Lariats The Rascalz. Maclin tags in and starts stacking up the Rascalz and beating them like they owe him money. Maclin tries a SCUD but Wentz catches him with a Cutter in the ropes, shortcut double team offense.

The ref was distracted with Santana trying to get in to stop the double team, so Maclin kicks out easily because of a slow start to the count. Trey with a cheap choke, then he tags in, goes for a disrespectful Half Crab and Santana just kicks Trey in the back. Rascalz find interesting ways to keep working over Maclin, Trey goes for a Popping Meteora, but Maclin stop it, turns it into an Electric Chair style counter and tags in Santana. Santana with the hot tag, takes out both Rascalz, stacks them interestingly to pull off a tandem DDT. Maclin and Santana work together, Maclin kicks Santana to send him into his Rolling Buck Fifty, Maclin then connects with a Busaiku Knee, and only 2 since Trey breaks it up! Rascalz finally get the best of things, a tandem Rope Assisted Pedigree with a Swanton from Wentz, but Maclin kicks out.  MACLIN EATS THE CHELSEA GREEN FUCK YOUR FACE IN THE CORNER DROPKICK SPOT!  Rolling Double Stomp! Santana rolls in to make the save, Hot Fire Flame attempt but Maclin gets the knees up. Cradle attempt, but they push off Maclin into Santana. Superkick Party on Maclin, Buckshot Lariat from Santana wipes out Trey, Enzuigiri from Santana. They set each other up, Caught in the Crosshairs , Spin the Block! Santana and Maclin win.

This is the first objectively smart thing TNA has done in the post-Scott era. Maclin and Santana were amazing together. This is a pairing that people will want to see again, and if they double down on it being a “one off”, it will make people want to see it again. Damn good stuff here.

PCO vs Rich Swann w/AJ Francis

Swann runs around tries to get frisky, but PCO grab him, Boots him, chucks him into the corner, Hesitation Dropkick to the back of Rich’s head for a near fall. AJ tries to pick the ankle, PCO kinda cares, but then eats a Superkick that does nothing. PCO charges, Rich hits the Low Bridge and PCO crashes to the floor. 450 from the apron, and Rich throws him back in and starts kicking PCO and hits a Bronco Buster.PCO fires back up, levels Rich, drapes him over the bottom rope and hits the Guillotine Leg Drop, driving Swann’s face into the mat. AJ grabs Rich’s foot and puts it on the bottom rope, then faceplants PCO on the apron. Rich takes too long to capitalize, PCO trips Swann, Lungblower from the corner spot, PCO Dives on AJ to try and equal the playing field. PCO-SAULT, 1-2-3, PCO wins.

SDL’s music hits, she walks out smiling and looking like a snack. Asks for the mic, and SDL plays with the crowd about different ways to say yes or no. Her answer is: OUI! 

TNA Tag Team Championships: The Nemeth Bros (Ryan & Nic Nemeth) vs The System (Eddie Edwards & Brian Myers) (c)

Brian Myers starts with Ryan, Ryan gets a quick advantage, they go for a tandem Arm Wringer/Neckbreaker combo. Myers tags out, Nic tries to throw a Superkick but Lish grabs the foot. WAIT DIRTY DANGO shows up out of nowhere and rats out Alisha?! We haven’t seen him in months since they punked out Oleg Prudius and him against Josh Alexander. So Lish gets ejected but The System jumps on Nic and tries to get in a few quick shots to try and end this quickly now they don’t have insurance.

Belly to Back Suplex from Myers after Eddie uses the ropes for a cheap choke, Eddie officially tags back in, and just quick tags and snappy offense from The System. Myers goes for the Manhattan Drop but Nic gets away from him, tags out to Ryan and a few quick attacks into a Rude Awakening for a near fall. Myers checks Ryan with a Boot to the gut, Eddie tags in, Eddie bounces off the ropes and Body Checks Ryan, while Myers connects with the Spear, but Nic makes the save! Myers shoves Ryan into their corner, Ryan tries to fight out to get to Nic, but a Drop Toe Hold puts a stop on the surge. Ryan counters with a Sunset Flip, but Myers manages to make the tag before falling over, so the pinfall doesn’t count and Eddie starts laying into Ryan. We get an “Ooo fuck Eddie Edwards” chat that pops up. Eddie goads the crowd a bit and tags in Myers. Headlock on Ryan, Ryan tries to Elbow out, but Myers stays in control and the crowd keeps talking shit to Eddie even though he’s not the legal man “fuck your fo-hawk”. Myers poses, Ryan hits a Reverse X Factor, simultaneous tags. Nic is on fire, laying everyone out, Jumping Leg Drop on Eddie for 2. Fame-ASSER! But only another 2 count.

Moose is down at ringside now, Eddie and Myers with their System Overload combo of Backpack Stunner and Elbow Drop for 2! Ryan grabs Eddie to stop Boston Knee Party, Superkick, into their Highway to the Danger Zone finish! 1-2-SOMEONE PULLS THE REF! Moose points at Dango, the ref is confused, Nic dives on Moose, Dango shows his true colors and clocks Ryan Nemeth. Boston Knee Party, The System retains the gold!

Joe Hendry w/Ace Steel vs Frankie Kazarian

Frankie Kazarian getting compared to Antonio Banderas and then calling him the dad from Spy Kids is fantastic. 

Hendry and Kaz Shoulder Tackle each other, trade a couple shots and then Hendry lifts him for the stalling suplex. Kaz tries to break it with punches to the body, but Hendry holds strong and connects with the Vertical Suplex. Kaz powders to the apron, Hendry tries to collect him but gets caught with the Guillotine Leg Drop. Kaz throws a few moves together, including his Side Russian Leg Sweep for a near fall. Scoop Slam from Kaz, Springboard Guillotine Leg Drop for 2! Kaz tries to cinque in the Body Scissors and Headlock, but Hendry powers through and turns it into a Suplex to break Kaz’s momentum.

Kaz gets whipped into the corner, gets the boot up, tries a Crossbody but Hendry catches him and his the Sack of Shit into the kip up! Kaz tries the Chicken Wing to slow down Hendry trying to keep momentum, a flurry of strikes with a big PK to give Kaz some space. Fade to Black attempt, but nope, Hendry tries a Powerbomb but Kaz slips it and connects with a Back Stabber! Runs the ropes and Kaz gets caught in a Pop-Up Powerbomb for 2! Kaz tries to bait in Hendry to the apron, Hendry grabs a roll of quarters from his tights, Hendry connects with an outside in Belly to Back Suplex, but Kaz pops him with the loaded fist and gets the win!

Post match, Kaz goes for a Chicken Wing to add insult to injury, Ace Steel finally comes all the way out and clocks Kaz. 

X Division Championship: Trent Seven vs Mustafa Ali (c)

Trent said the tape machines kept rolling, they show post-interview footage where Mustafa says the X Division title is a prop, he doesn’t even live in Chicago, and just freaking out. Mustafa charges Trent, Trent dodges and Mustafa bounces his face off the buckles, SEVEN STAR LARIAT! 1-2-Kick out! That was nearly a quick loss. Ali slows down Trent a few times, and the crowd is dumb and gives the “we still love you” to Ali. Ali with a Jumping DDT, then a Dive on Trent, but Trent shoves Ali into the apron and then a Dragon Suplex onto the floor. Back in the ring, Trent goes for the Corkscrew Senton but misses everything and grabs his leg.

Shotgun Dropkick into the corner from Ali, Trent absorbs and follows with a Lariat, Ali reverses Trent for another Dropkick, goes for a third but Trent catches him and Powerbombs him into the middle of the ring for a near fall. Birminghammer attempt, but Eye Gouge from Ali, Trent with an open hand Chop but Ali baits him into the corner, Gamegiri into the Rolling DDT for 2. Ali with some hammering Forearms, but Trent with a Flowsion out of nowhere to get some separation. Fighting Spirit spot, Ali does my favorite thing! He doesn’t fall for the Bop and Bang and just Roundhouse Kicks Trent in the face. Too bad Ali falls for it like 2 moves later. Ali DDTs the leg, then tries another Rolling DDT, but Trent connects with a Dragon Suplex into the Sitout Powerbomb for two. X Plex attempt, but Ali shoves Trent and the ref cowers in the corner almost bumped, Low Blow into in a Lariat for a near fall!

Ali heads to the top, Trent cuts him off, Ali flips forward out of it, Superkick rocks Trent, Ali runs up the ropes for a Superplex but AVALANCHE FLOWSION! Only 2. Birminghammer attempt, Eye Gouge again, Birminghammer attempt again, but Ali grabs the ropes, throws off Trent, slips out and then Dragon Screws the leg into the apron. Ali goes to the top, Trent meets him, they fight in the corner, Headbutt from Trent and they both crash down into the apron and bounce off to the outside. 10 Count starts, Ali decides to climb the corner, Trent slides in at 9 and eats a 450 to the back for a 2 count. Ali goes to get his belt, the referee stops him, Trent hits a Low Blow as the ref is putting the belt back, BIRMINGHAMMER! 1-2-NO!

Mustafa tries to bail, grabs the ring apron as Trent pulls him back, Chops him in the back a few times, crotches him in the corner, Avalanche BIRMINGHAMMER? Eye Gouge fights back, kicks out the leg, and then 450 to the injured legs into a Scorpion Deathlock! Trent taps out.

Josh Alexander & Eric Young vs The ABC (Ace Austin & Chris Bey)

Early on we get the typical watered down Japanese tag style of a few fancy counters like La Magistral Cradles and Suplex counters and stuff, but nothing really worth typing about. Which is smart since the last match was pretty hot, so you want to start simple and build. ABC start going for a few higher risk moves with Tandem Shoot Ins for Jumping High Kicks and Back Head Kicks. EY Up and Overs Bey, whips him into the opposite corner and tags in Josh. Josh goes for his locomotion Shoulder Tackles, Bey tries to counter it and go for an Art of Finesse, but Josh catches him and Release German Suplexes him. Teamwork from Josh, Gutbuster and Elbow Drop combination for a 2. Ace tries to get involved and Josh and Bey go for THE OLE DICK TWIST! I’m not really sure what I’m looking at beyond a meme and it’s Chicago…so I’m not surprised. But just…why.

Things break down a little everyone’s doing stuff, Josh perches Ace for the Low Crossbody but Ace dodges it! Then Ace does his Handstand dodge, Josh just grabs his Ankle though. Ace tries to hold onto the ropes to he doesn’t completely fall, Bey dives over Ace and lays out Josh but then EY flies and takes out Bey. Ace posts EY, Josh walks back in the ring and calls Ace in. Josh goes for an Avalanche Death Valley Driver, Ace fights it off, Ace hits the Flipping Outside In Headscissors. Goes for an Overhead Spin Kick, but Josh catches the foot. Ace fights out, ABC try to team up on Josh but a Suplexes both and tags out to EY. Discus Lariat into a Spicolli Driver on Ace! Bey kicks him, Ace tries something, but EY stacks them on his shoulders, they both slip him, Dual Roundhouse Kicks! But only a 2 count.

Everyone doing things in the ring, a cameraman gets taken out literally, the camera looks like scrambled porn in the 90s. Powerbreaker from Josh for 2! Rolling Senton into the Macho Elbow, but Ace makes the save. EY accidentally lays out Josh, EY tries to Piledriver Bey but Ace jumps over the world and hits The Fold on EY! Bey with the Jacknife cover and ABC win!

TNA Knockouts Championship: Jordynne Grace (c) vs Tatum Paxley

Personal concierge shows up after Tatum makes her entrance, ASH by Elegance will show up…to watch the match, as per usual. 

Things start a little slow, Tatum brings that quirky unhinged Hot Topic girl energy, and Jordynne is Thicc Mama Pump. Okay Tatum counters Jordynne’s rope run by very suggestively enticing her to come into full mount. Jordynne manages to grab her foot and get her to stand up to just Reverse Side Slam her and go for the Camel Clutch. Tatum gets out of it with biting her hand, and then heads under the ring. ASH is actually telling her where she is, Jordynne tries to grab her, but Tatum pulls her into the steel ring frame. She tries to Suplex her, but Jordynne blocks a few times, so Tatum just drives her into the post.

Tatum pulls off the old Lance Storm counter into the Half Crab, but Jordynne gets out of it. Back Kick from Jordynne, Jordynne tries the Vader Bomb, but Paxley cuts her off first, tries a Rope Hung Neckbreaker, but Jordynne holds on. Hits two Vader Bombs only for near falls. Juggernaut Driver attempt, but Tatum stops it, Jordynne hits the Rolling Fent Back Elbow. They fight in the corner, Uppercut from Jordynne, KINNIKU BUSTER! We know that won’t finish the match, Tatum tries a slide and we go into a Locomotion Cradles. Paxley connects with a Spear that she rolls through beautifully, but both women have counters for counters for counters. Tatum is perched in the corner, they’re fighting on the middle rope, AVALANCHE LOBOTOMY, 1-2-NOPE! Tatum starts clawing at the ears since she had the stitches after the Roxxane Perez match. Tatum with a Seated Head and Neck Choke, but Jordynne fights through and they start slapping each other. Jordynne goes for a lazy cover, and Tatum tries to surprise her with a Guillotine Choke! Grace stands up, Jackhammer for 2!

Jordynne clubs with a few Vader Hammers, Tatum tries to counter, Grace goes for the Sp inning Backfist but Tatum ducks it the first time, but not the second. Death Valley Driver into Juggernaut Driver, and Jordynne retains!

ASH attacks Jordynne after the match but Jordynne fights her off. Covers ASH in her bottle of champagne, then takes a swig herself and walks off victorious while ASH and concierge are slipping and looking like dorks.

BROKEN RULES – TNA World Heavyweight Championship: Moose (c) vs Broken Matt Hardy

The Nemeth Fuschnikens show up and take out The System! Only Lish is now left. 

Matt takes advantage of the early distraction, Twist of Fate attempt but Moose spins out but Matt turns it into the DDT. Side Effect from Hardy on the apron, then he hits the Twist of Fate on the outside. Moose sells dead weight well, Matt finally rolls him in, then Moose keeps rolling. Moose and Lish find weapons, and Moose hits Matt with a trash can lid and Baking Sheet. Moose takes one of many chairs, and just lays into Matt a handful of times. Moose barks at the camera that he’s “Gonna end his damn career”, so he fishing out a ladder from under the ring.

Moose smacks Matt with a few more chair shots and then makes a Ladder + Chair ramp contraption. Jacknife attempt from Moose, Hardy drops to his knees and Upper Cuts Moose’s balls! Then Matt starts using a chair of his own. Moose powders, Matt follows and they take this throw the crowd and goes somewhere…the camera work is a little useless. It’s like N.E.W. Indy level of “we can’t see”. I’m just assuming moves were attempt, looks like maybe a Jacknife that Matt counters and goes up high, just to do a Delete chant. I want a Balcony Level Extreme Leg Drop! But they head back to the ring, so at least now we can see, and Matt bounces Moose’s face off the post and rolls Moose in. Vertical Suplex from Matt, then he goes to the second rope, Elbow Drop for 2! Matt sets up for Twist of Fate, Moose pushes off and URANAGE counter! 1-2-kick out! Moose wanders out to find more weapons and drags out a table, as the peasants rejoice.

Propping the table in the corner, we see Moose trying to set up Matt for the Spear. they both dodge attempting to be put through the table, so Moose Sabu’s Matt with a chair. Moose sets up a pile of chairs, grabs Senor Hardy and they go up the turnbuckle Superplex into the chairs, only for 2! Alisha is also yelling at this very audible annoying Chicago fan. Moose goes for a second Chair spot, but Matt slips the Suplex and Avalanche Powerbomb into the chairs! Matt goes for the cover, but Moose kicks out! Hardy goes under the ring for a…. CARDBOARD BOX! A PARCEL OF CHIPBOARD! Moose decks Matt, opens the box and it’s Moose’s throwback Patriots Helmet. Moose puts his old helmet on, charges Matt Hardy and Matt Back Drops him into the Chekov’s Ladder+Chair. Matt goes for a table and another ladder. Is Matt gonna go for another crazy bump? OH Hardy gets a Bears helmet. Now it makes sense why it was a throwback Patriots helmet, because of the 1985 Bears Super Bowl. Matt clocks Moose with the Bears Helmet, the crowd chants “CTE”, Matt puts Moose on the table, EXTREME LEG DROP from the ladder!

Hardy puts the chair around Moose’s head, TWIST OF FATE into the chair! Goes for the cover and Alisha brings out Kendra and lights up Matt. REBY COMES OUT! She takes her earrings off and someone else is holding her baby! Spanish girl serious fighting 101! Reby hits the Twist of Fate on Lish and tries to help out Matt. Moose sees Matt coming and pulls Reby in the way! Matt spears his wife through the table and then Moose hits LIGHTS OUT!

 

Overall Score: 7.75/10

Well admittedly the first half of the show had a good bit of gimmicky extra bodies overbooking. Kushida, Dango and Jeff Hardy being back is definitely a positive thing with Slammiversary next up. Nic Nemeth hopefully picks up a little more steam, because early splitting time with New Japan stifled his initial impact, now with two title losses in like 4 months of activity is a little silly. Hendry getting a hold over rivalry to slow roll his rise in popularity could be ok. I think they’re not on a large enough scale to benefit more from a slow burn as opposed to cashing in now. But it’s wrestling, you never know. Plus if he gets some shine in NXT, it could be better to ride that exposure wave as well.

The card had overall solid action, even if booking was suspect at moments through the night and the audio for the Ali tape was awful…ruined the intended effect. Jordynne with the opening challenge and an at home annoyance is a good angle. System will probably get into a feud with The Hardys, ya know, while neither is injured. Moose has Hendry looming, but again, not sure how they’re gonna play that card. Also for personal reasons I wanna see if Xia continues to be SDL’s love council bestie type character now that she agreed to date PCO.

So yeah, pretty good show all things considered. The end of the show sends people home happy with Jeff Hardy returning to stand tall with Reby, Matt, Joe Hendry and the Nemeths. There’s a lot to play out. Even if somethings sound super stupid right now (looking at you Octopus and Doc Kushi). But, at least there different levels of storylines to figure out. So when it comes down to the bare bones, the show did its job and was a pretty enjoyable watch.


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