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Andrew’s Impact Wrestling Ratings & Analysis: 12/17/2019

Impact has seen a nice resurgence in 2019. Moving towards the holiday do we get more build to Hard to Kill or Christmas phoning it in?

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Impact has seen a nice resurgence in 2019. Moving towards the holiday do we get more build to Hard to Kill or Christmas phoning it in?

Sami Callihan is supposed to expose Tessa Blanchard, Tenille Dashwood returns, Joey Ryan faces Acey Romero as his Wrestler’s Court punishment and RVD continues to act like the douchey college jock.

I don’t have anything else cute to say. and no real clever promos tonight.

Well…umm…take a look? It’s in a book? Reading Rainbow?

I got nothing, continue on.

Ratings:

  • Jordynne Grace vs Tenille Dashwood: Jordynne wins via Head and Leg Cradle – ** 1/2
  • TJP w/Fallah Bahh vs Daga: TJP wins via Iron Maiden – *** 1/2
  • Ethan Page w/Josh Alexander vs Rich Swann w/Willie Mack: Page wins via DQ – ***
  • Acey Romero vs Joey Ryan: Joey Ryan wins via Sweet Tooth Music – ** 
  • Petey Williams vs Ace Austin: Ace wins via The Fold – ** 1/2

 

Analysis:

Jordynne Grace vs Tenille Dashwood – We haven’t seen Tenille in a hot minute since her loss at Bound for Glory, but it’s nice to see her return to Impact. The match was pretty competitive, Tenille had Jordynne on the backfoot most of the match, especially after a Hanging Neck Breaker. Tenille hits her Taste of Tenille, and then goes for a Butterfly Suplex instead of a finisher. SO that’s kinda awkward, La Magistral attempt turns into Jordynne stopping the momentum and turning the pin attempt in her favor. Jordynne picks up a surprising win after a decent match, Taya attacks Jordynne and Tenille makes the save.

Moose confronts Rhino in the back teasing him that Moose’s Spear beat RVD, something the Gore couldn’t do. So Rhino Gores Moose for his trouble. I guess this is building to an eventual match.

TJP w/Fallah Bahh vs Daga – TJP and Daga come out to put on a hell of a match. TJP’s first match in a few weeks for Impact and Daga doing the damn thing. This went through the commercial break and got a good amount of time. Daga had a few opportunities, but TJP kept his head above water most of this match. For a random match with no build up, this was still pretty damn good.

Desi Hit Squad attack Fallah and TJP, Daga helps out and Shera returns from his spiritual journey. Maybe we get a 6 man in the future. 

RVD comes out basically to continue saying he’s been ripped off by every current wrestler, in between making out with Katie Forbes. He’s doing a great job being the douchey guy from college that we all hate. 

ImpactPlus Flashback Moment: Motor City Machine Guns vs Generation Me, Tag Team Championship Full Metal Mayhem, Final Resolution, December 5, 2010

This clueless mortal Suzie gimmick has been amusing, and it looks like we’re creeping closer to the pay off.

We see Taya ask Madison Rayne and Keira Hogan for help, and like any smart wrestlers, they want something if they decide to help Taya. Taya says if she’s still champ after Hard to Kill, she’ll give both of them title shots.

Ethan Page w/Josh Alexander vs Rich Swann w/Willie Mack – Page and Alexander start their mind games against the number one contenders,and for some reason Page thought a singles match would be a good time. Page shows he’s more than just a loud mouth by keeping up with Swann. Alexander interferes a little on the obvious side to distract the referee, so when Willie Mack tries to say something, it costs Swann in the form of a tandem DDT. Page then follows that up with a nice Gotch Neutralizer before the twist came in. Alexander eats a dive from Swann and Page takes a swing at Mack, causing him to get in the ring and fire back, which gets Swann disqualified. Will The North succeed in breaking apart Willie and Rich?

Acey Romero vs Joey Ryan – Johnny Swinger comes out for commentary and starts making tons of references. Heenanisms, How Much Does This Guy Weigh, just good winks to general idiocy. Acey dominated most of the match until the lollipop went into Kid Ref’s mouth and I guess that counts as a ref bump. Touch it, Swinger interferes to try and do a Fanny Pack version of the Dick Flip, but fails. We get a Dick Flip, second lollipop and Sweet Tooth Music for Joey Ryan to overcome his Wrestler’s Court sentence.

Petey Williams vs Ace Austin – Ace gets a random X Division match just so he can make some comments towards Trey’s mom after the match. The match itself was alright, nothing crazy, but Petey this year has just been trying super hard to pull off Canadian Destroyers even when he could do…anything else…makes the matches a little bland. Not a bad match, but it definitely didn’t stand out that much. Just solid work.

The show ends with Sami Callihan talking about how he’s actually the good guy because he treats Tessa like an equal. Which is effectively an extension of the same stuff he said leading up to Slammiversary but now he’s champion. Tessa comes out, we get a brawl, Fulton jumps Tessa but Shamrock comes out to equalize the numbers. Sami and Tessa brawl to the back and then outside.

Overall Score: 6.25/10

There was a lot of good in ring action in this show, but none of it really had repercussions. Ethan Page versus Rich Swann played into their coming title match, but everything else was more of a stepping stone in the respective storylines. Tenille might find a way into the Hard to Kill match depending on what her level of involvement ends up being, Daga might help Fallah and TJP against the Desi Hit Squad, Ace Austin used the Petey Williams win to get in Trey’s head and Joey Ryan…well that’s some comedy or something.

We get good ring work, not a lot of story build and the show ends on a fade to black during the Tessa and Sami brawl. The episode didn’t bother me, but it felt lackluster and a lot of X Division style matches started to make the episode bleed together. It could’ve been better served with change of pace matches instead of just back to back vignettes, but it wasn’t awful. Just not their best work this year.

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Coverage

Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 12.5.2024

Final Resolution is in 8 days, so what can TNA string together in that amount of time? Let’s find out!

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Two more shows left until Final Resolution, and then that’s probably the end of “new content” from TNA until 2025. With how miserably bad Turning Point was, and a bunch of the lead up shows were awful as well…I guess it might not be a bad thought to give them some time to cook because this ain’t it. TNA really needs someone who can write logical stories, I don’t anticipate anything groundbreaking, but logic and keeping the perception of factions correct isn’t difficult.

Also I’m looking forward to a few weeks away from how much I’ve been disappointed in the recent weeks. The TNA name coming back was the point that sold all the hype this year, and they did literally everything wrong all year. They’re just riding on brand nostalgia, but when that runs out…I fear for how badly the product as been lately.

Ratings:

  • Number 1 Contender 5 Way: Ace Austin vs Trent Seven vs Kushida vs Leon Slater vs JDC: Kushida wins via Back to the Future – ***
  • PCO & Sami Callihan vs The Good Hands: PCO wins via Quebecer’s Crash – ** 1/4
  • TNA Tag Team Championships: The Hardyz (c) vs The System w/Alisha: Hardyz retain via DQ – **
  • Tasha Steelz vs Jordynne Grace: Tasha wins via Victory Roll w/feet on ropes – **
  • Jonathan Gresham, Eric Young, Mike Santana & Steve Maclin vs The Northern Armoury & Frankie Kazarian: Armoury wins via Shenanigans – **

 

 

Results:

Number 1 Contender 5 Way: Ace Austin vs Trent Seven vs Kushida vs Leon Slater vs JDC

Kushida, Ace and Trent are the early ones to stay in the ring, Trent takes advantage of things a little, Leon flies in for something opportunistic, but Trent catches him and looks for The Bitter End, but Slater counters that and now we get into Dive cut offs, brawls and then Ace hitting a Fosbury Flop for good measure. JDC and Kushida both look to slow down Ace, but Ace does his apron antics to avoid contact and land a PK. He looks for the Triangle Kick but Trent puts the brakes on that, and now Trent and JDC have a heels alliance against Ace. After a few quick strikes, Leon comes in and breaks up the double team, but then the doubles turn on Leon.

We get the typical shenanigans of quick spots and then JDC is the heel to try and turn on Trent, which causes a pause for explanation but then everyone comes in for a signature spam. Kushida misses his Back Handspring Elbow, and Ace catches him with an Art of Finesse. Ace goes to the top, Kushida cuts him off, Spanish Fly Avalanche Cross Arm Breaker! Ace looks like he might tap, but Leon flies out of nowhere with the Crossover Splash and then jumps over to post to wipe out Ace and Kushida. Leon throws Kushida in and heads up to the top to try and finish the match but Trent and JDC brawl into Leon. Ace runs up Trent and JDC, Superplex on Leon, Bop and Bang from Trent, Ace looks for The Fold, but Leon stops it, JDC forces Leon off the top rope, Kushida hits the Soccer Ball Kick counter to a Back Handspring and then hits BACK TO THE FUTURE! Kushida wins and will challenge Moose for the X Division title at Final Resolution.

It’s been a hot minute since I’ve seen God’s Last Gift, so that’s always nice when Kushida breaks it out. 

PCO & Sami Callihan vs The Good Hands

Callihan and Hotch start, and Hotch eats a few Knife Edge Chops, into a big toss across and then PCO gets tagged in for a quick right hand. Hotch tries to send PCO into the ropes and avoid him to pick his spot, but PCO just runs him over and Hotch falls out of the ring. Skyler starts trying to protect Hotch on the outside, PCO lets the be dumb, Skyler officially tags in and eats a right hand from PCO, PCO tags back in Sami and a tandem Brain Chop for fun. Callihan hits the ropes to continue momentum but Hotch takes a cheap shot, Callihan gets distracted so finally the Good Hands take a little bit of control after a Slingshot Spear from Skyler and Rolling Neckbreaker from Hotch. Skyler leans on Sami, tries to keep him down but a big Lariat causes the simultaneous tag out and now Hotch it treated like PCO’s personal hackysack.

The Jabroni Hands try to double team PCO and fail, PCO tags in Sami, PCO Double DDTs the Hands, they powder and Sami gives PCO the Back Body Drop assist on his Senton to the outside, so he goes over the top rope and into the dorks. Sami brings Skyler in, makes sure he’s not fighting back and tags PCO back in, PCO heads to the top and Sami raises his hands, the ole Quebecer’s Crash! PCO and Sami win!

After the match we get a weird tron of the number 23 flashing a few times. Michael Jordan, Jim Carey, who is it?

TNA Tag Team Championships: The Hardyz (c) vs The System w/Alisha

As is the usual with System matches, they are completely useless in the beginning. Hardyz hit a few classic spots with the Tandem Polish Hammer on the extended arm and the corner buckle face smashes, but then Myers powders so the heels can be heeling, Matt gets tripped and then we go to picture in picture because of course we do. So here comes the slow heel offense for about 2 minutes until the commercials end just in time for the comeback. No one wants to hear about Snapmares, rest holds and futile attempts to fight out of the System corner because I need to know more about Super Beets.

We come back, Myers is focusing the left leg so Matt hobbles more than usual and he’s in a half hearted Stump Puller, but Myers is doing it mostly to send a message. Myers goes for the home run shot, loads up the Roster Cut…but Matt catches him with the Side Effect! Jeff and Eddie come in and Jeff has full control until Myers cuts off the momentum just in time to for both to eat a Whisper in the Wind! Myers hits an Edge-esque Spear but Jeff kicks out at two. They go for System Overload, but Jeff slips it, shoved Eddie into Myers, then Matt comes in and Plot Twist! Myers has to break the count, but the Hardyz are rolling, they go full Hardy and find a table! Both trade a few shots, the Hardyz look to put the System through the table but Lish takes Kendra to the Hardyz to force a disqualification!

Eddie hits a Boston Knee Party on Jeff into the steps, Matt tries to fight back, but his laid out on the table. Lish beats Jeff a few times, chokes Matt, and then Myers and Eddie go for a Tandem Crucifix Bomb on Jeff through Matt on the table, and the table breaks nice.

I’m guessing this gets dragged out to Final Resolution, as long as its a decent match…I’m fine with that. Spitfire has promo, and I repeat, I love Dani Luna…but Jody Threat is worthless and cringe.

Tasha Steelz vs Jordynne Grace

Jordynne comes out in a Kojima inspired outfit and if she loses here…then I guess she’s on the putting people over on her way out side of the game. 

Rosemary is looming in the rafters as Tasha and Jordynne don’t really do much of anything early. Tasha tries a Sunset Flip but Jordynne won’t budge, Tasha tries something but eats a Back Fist into a Snap Gutwrench Reverse Side Suplex and then just shoves Tasha into the corner, tries to beat on her on the way up for a Superplex, but Tasha slips it, tucks Jordynne’s head against the top rope, Cheeky Nandos into a Springboard Stomp to give Tasha some offense and to give us an official commercial break.

Returning, commentary makes sure to let us know Tasha was in control the whole time but Jordynne of course starts working towards a comeback. Tasha tries an Avalanche Sunset Bomb, but fails and ends up hitting what looks more like an Avalanche Landslide. Steelz tries the Blackout, Enzuigiri, and tries again but Jordynne catches her and Release Overhead German Suplex puts the ball back in Jordynne’s court. After trading a few strikes, Jordynne connects with the Backfist, then Kudome Valentine for two! Jordynne rams Tasha’s head into the buckles, referee breaks it, Tasha tries the Sliced Bread but no, Jordynne tries the Vader Bomb, but Tasha kicks her feet out, Tasha tries the Hanging Backstabber but Jordynne holds on, hits a Vader Bomb, looks for another corner move but Tasha flashes up and connects on the Sliced Bread for both to sell. Jordynne gets the best of the subsequent attacks, Short Arm Lariats is giving the advantage but Jordynne looks increasingly more annoyed. Lish comes back out with Kendra to distract Jordynne, Tasha tries a Schoolboy but Jordynne kicks out. Looks for the Kinikku Buster, Lish distracts again, Victory Roll from Tasha with feet on ropes.

Tasha wins, it devolves into Lish and Tasha beating on Jordynne, so Masha comes out to make the save.

Joe Hendry comes out to join commentary, because of course he does. When they don’t want to put a damn title on him, they just shoehorn in other way to make sure he’s on the show. It’s a very tired trope. 

Jonathan Gresham, Eric Young, Mike Santana & Steve Maclin vs The Northern Armoury & Frankie Kazarian

Things just start off as an all out brawl until 26 referees come out and try to settle the jimmies that got rustled. Bell finally rings and its Gresham against the bald jabroni. Couple quick chops and a snap Vertical Suplex from Gresham force bald jabroni to tag out to Josh. Josh’s comes out a little arrogant, but a Soccer Ball kick to the hand and Octopus attempt forces bald jabroni back in, Gresham levels him but it gives Josh a chance to fight back. Jabroni with hair tags in, immediately loses control and Gresham tags out to Maclin who hits a Backbreaker and clubbing blows in the corner across the shoulder blades. OH bald jabroni tries something but Maclin puts both losers in Tree of Woe, Caught in Crosshairs hits on bald, hair sits up, Maclin saves himself from posting himself, jabroni with hair tries to go after him and then Maclin beats the hell out of the jabroni. Josh distracts Maclin so jabroni can roll in and tag out to Kaz. Kaz hits the Springboard Leg Drop as Maclin slides back in, and now we go to picture in picture with the heels throwing Maclin into their corner and taking turns hitting offense.

Coming back, Eric Young already started the comeback, he heads to the top rope for the Macho Elbow but one of the jabronis hits the ropes and EY takes an ugly crash down. Josh tags in Kaz, Kaz starts working over EY, throws him into the corner so EY does the Flair Flop, blocks Kaz’s attack, tries to slide in but the heels grab EY and beat the hell out of him while the ref is distracted with the face team. A chant of “ref you suck” is actually quite loud. Kaz hits a Suplex and meticulously lays in offense on EY. Kaz shoots him in, telegraphs and almost eats a Piledriver, but Kaz counters it into Fade to Black, but EY gets out of that. They run the ropes and Lariat spot for both to drop. Simultaneous tag, Santana is in and one of the jabroni’s is legal I think but all the heels come in, faces fight him off, jabroni squad tries to double team Santana but he gets the best of things with a Double Rolling Buck Fifty for a near fall. Josh pulls out jabroni with hair to stop Santana’s momentum, Maclin flies into Josh, jabroni duo keeps trying to stay on Santana, but Santana gets the best of things, tags in Gresham and it’s buttery smooth how Gresham comes in and starts with sweeps, takedowns, interesting ground combat. Heels try to all in and keep away with Gresham, but Maclin breaks up the pinfall by just flying into a jabroni and having him fall into the pinfall.

Gresham locks in the Octopus, but the heels distract the referee because this ref is stupid, Kaz comes up from behind Gresham and clocks him with the Call Your Shot Trophy. So the heels win.

 

Overall Score: 4.5/10

The only match that really mattered was the opener because we know Kushida versus Moose is gonna be a good match, so it guarantees at least one thing to look forward to. The rest of the show either ended in overbooked gimmick stupidity, or involved Tasha Steelz which just encapsulates how bad the Knockouts Division is if after we run out of Masha vs Jordynne we get Tasha as the filler match to save Masha versus Rosemary for Genesis (is my guess).

But when all of these outcomes look like nothing more than filler until we get to Genesis, its hard to care because literally nothing matter until 2025. When you can’t add a measure of tension in your angles TO GET TO THE PLE, then there is no tension for the match at the PLE. So if TNA is saying none of this really matters, surely this can’t be a good episode.

Now if you’re a more casual fan of wrestling in general, or a fan of the Hardyz, maybe you care a little more about The System getting their comeuppances. But that’s build on 20 years of nostalgia, not anything TNA has really done. This is the equivalent of someone kicking Tom Hanks in the balls. We hate the person who did it, not because of why or any story…but because of who he did it to. Easy and lazy booking, so this gets an easy and lazy 4.5/10.

About Chairshot Radio Network

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Coverage

Andrew’s TNA Turning Point Results & Match Ratings: 11.29.2024

BROOO – Turning Point…is definitely a thing. Live from WrestleCade, with their crew…it’s gonna look low budget, but can the matches save it?

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So Turning Point is truly a question mark to me. Perhaps TNA is palatable to the casual observer, but trying to watch it weekly, this has been a miserable build with story threads held together with chicken wire and prayer. At this point I can only really hope the matches are good quality because nothing has real weight on this card. Everything feels like a filler angle including Trey Miguel and PCO needing to be replaced because of “travel issues”.

My expectations are lower than a Chicago Bears fan, and I still may get disappointed…also…like a Bears fan. Okay I’m not gonna punch down on that fandom, at least you guys got good news with Eberflus getting his walking papers. Let’s find out which way I get surprised!

Ratings:

  • Mike Santana vs Frankie Kazarian: Santana wins via Spin the Block – * 1/2
  • Thanksgiving Turkey Bowl Match: Joe Hendry vs John Skyler vs Rhino vs Hammerstone vs Brian Myers vs Eric Young: Hendry wins via Standing Ovation – ** 1/4
  • X Division Championship: Moose (c) vs Laredo Kid: Moose retains via Lights Out – ** 1/2
  • NoDQ Match: Steve Maclin vs Josh Alexander: Maclin wins via Avalanche K.I.A. into shell casings – *** 1/2
  • The Hardyz & Ace Austin vs Kushida, Zachary Wentz & Riddle: Jeff wins via Swanton Bomb – *** 1/2
  • 2 out of 3 Falls Match TNA Knockouts Championship: Masha Slamovich (c) vs Jordynne Grace: Masha retains 2-1 after Package Piledriver – *** 1/4
  • TNA World Championship: Eddie Edwards vs Nic Nemeth (c): Nemeth retains via Danger Zone – *** 1/4

 

 

Results:

Mike Santana vs Frankie Kazarian

A simple Arm Drag starts things off and Kaz slows things down to complain to the referee…and then an Arm Wringer trade counter spot with a staredown. Aren’t opening matches supposed to hype the crowd with hot action or a big match? Why is this here? Oh my Christ, they go for the Arm Drag during a flurry at the same time and block each other and just keep up with half paced Cruiserweight stuff. I am not sports entertained.

We get typical slow burn moves of a Hip Attack into a pinfall, more weird Arm Drag fascinations which turns into locomotion cradles. This is just slow, boring and there’s no real story between the two, so its just two dudes in the ring doing moves. They try to go for an apron spot which turns into Kaz’s control but he tries the inside out Slingshot DDT and Santana’s head kinda misses the apron and they just crash. Back in Kaz hits his Springboard Leg Drop, but this is a bad match. I really can’t even bring myself to transcribe the action because its basic, lame and I stopped caring almost immediately.

Inane moves that don’t matter, near fall enrages Kaz, Fade to Black gets slipped, a few counters for position and Santana pulls off the Spin the Block to win. No one cares, completely useless match.

Thanksgiving Turkey Bowl Match: Joe Hendry vs John Skyler vs Rhino vs Hammerstone vs Brian Myers vs Eric Young

This is a gimmick bunch of stuff match, so even if its entertaining not a ton of play by play to be had until things eventually boil down to two or three in the ring. Oh look, Hendry and Skyler are the last two in the ring, Skyler lands a few shots until he tries to run the ropes, eats a Shoulder Tackle and then a Stalling Vertical Suplex into a pinfall but Myers slides in to break up the pinfall and throw both out, so Rhino is Myers’ new dancing partner. Bell clap, Irish Whip, Rhino looks for The Gore, but Hammer rips him out of the ring, EY takes Myers out and then EY and Hammer have some time together.

Hammer is either selling a leg injury really well or he pulled something. Hammer powders, Skyler and Myers team up to beat on EY and play defense of the ring to keep EY isolated. Tandem Suplex from Skyler and Myers but Hendry tries to get into the ring and is promptly dumped out. Hammer limps back in, tries to triple team EY, but is obviously favoring the leg. They try to set up a Tower of Doom, but Hendry connects with a few uppercuts, Rhino Gores Hammerstone and Rhino finishes the Tower of Doom spot. Hendry starts working on the three heels who are still comparatively ok, but Hendry goes for Locomotion Sack of Shits into Kip Ups, Skyler first, then Myers, and after a struggle spot…gets Hammerstone up and over! Myers stops the Standing Ovation, the Heels turn on each other, another Gore for Hammer, Gore for Skyler, Spear from Myers! Myers looks for the Roster Cut, Hendry moves Skyler out of the way and Standing Ovation on Myers! Hendry wins and Myers has to wear the Turkey Suit or get fired.

X Division Championship: Moose (c) vs Laredo Kid

Laredo starts with Low Round Kicks, Overhand Chops, tries to Old School walk the ropes, but Moose just shoves him to his demise and starts ragdolling him on the outside. This is the what your parents see when you “rough house” with younger siblings or cousins. Moose throws Laredo back in the ring and aims for the mask, the referee stops him, Jacknife Powerbomb attempt but Laredo slips it, two Enzuigiris, Laredo hits the ropes and a Big Boot stops Laredo from remembering Spanish for a minute. Moose perches him, claws at the mask again, Tree of Woe for some disrespectful stomps and Moose looks for a Spear, but Laredo manages to dodge. Tries to rally an Uno Mas chant for his Hip Attacks, but the crowd doesn’t care. Laredo keeps trying to counter Moose’s power moves with Back Slides, Sunset Cradles, Frankensteiners, but gets caught with a Uranage giving Moose a two count. Lish chokes Laredo on the ropes as Moose distracts the ref, Moose talks smack and then smacks Laredo across the face. Laredo tries to fire up, but he gets insta-dropped by a Moose chop.

Moose charges the corner a few times but Laredo has answers, Missile Dropkick sends Moose to the outside, Senton Atomico from the post to the outside! Laredo throws Moose back in, charges the corner, eats a boot, Moose perches, Laredo tries the Avalanche Frankensteiner but Moose holds on. Laredo gets back up, Laredo Fly! The small delay in making the cover allows Moose to kick out. Laredo goes to the top rope, 450 into Knees, Moose pops up, Lights Out, Kip Up and another! Moose retains as we all expected.

NoDQ Match: Steve Maclin vs Josh Alexander

Maclin comes out hot, lays Josh to the outside, SCUD, and stays on top of him with Chops and the usual “offense around the outside of the ring”. Like this is NoDQ 101. Maclin goes to find a table super early, first time we really hear the crowd all show. Maclin tries to go for a quick Spicolli Driver through the Table but Josh claws the eyes and slips the move, Josh tries to rock Maclin from the apron through the table, but a Slingshot Spear stops Josh’s offense and puts Maclin back in the driver’s seat. Beatings in the corner will continue until morale improves…or until Josh slips to the back and pulls off the German Suplexes that never end. After eating like 8, Maclin returns one back and is somehow up to his feet before Josh. Some corner spots and Josh dodges a charge and Release German sends Maclin neck first into a turnbuckle.

Both roll out of the ring, Josh finds another table, Steve tries to remember where he is. Josh wants to German Maclin into the table, but Maclin blocks, fires back, looks for a Powerbomb but eats a Back Body Drop onto the concrete. Josh wants the Power Bomb, but Maclin counters into the Spicolli Driver into Josh’s table! Maclin finds a trash can, a chair, a box of donuts, 4 hamsters in a shoe, a trash can lid…you know, the essentials. Josh goes for the Ankle Lock out of desperation, but Maclin has been using the Lid like spray bottle for a disobedient dog, and manages to make Josh powder. A Backbreaker gives Josh the advantage, he starts using the outside to further the advantage, throws the trash can on Maclin’s head…punches it and sells his hand hurting. Okay, a little funny, but a little stupid too. Canned Maclin gets sat on the apron so Josh can do his Low Crossbody through the ropes spot and then starts beating the hell out of Maclin with Trash Cans, Lids, burnt dinner rolls…oh and he finds a door. Why has the door become popular in the last few years? Because of GCW crap? Ugh.

Door backfires and Maclin Dropkicks it into Josh and then drops the Elbow in Josh through the Door. Then Maclin starts beating Josh with a tattered piece of door (a weird thing to write even in wrestling). Maclin tries to throw Josh back in, but Josh slips out, wraps Maclin’s leg into the post and then uses pieces of door to work over the leg further. Josh starts goading Maclin to do stuff knowing he’s worked over the leg, so that slows the pace even further…somehow. Josh sets up some chair art, peppers in a few more leg shots, Josh tries to set up the C4 Spike into the chairs, but Maclin counter and Alabama Slams Josh through the chairs. Some cripple fight moments, Josh grabs a chair, Maclin ducks it, kicks him in the gut to grab the chair, tosses the chair at him to hold and then Busaiku Knee into the chair. Maclin looks for Jar Headbutt, Josh Sabus the chair at Maclin. Puts Maclin up on his shoulders for a Torture Rack Bomb but throws Maclin out to into his table he set up in a very messy and dangerous way.

Josh brings Maclin back in, goes for the cover, Maclin kicks out, Ankle Lock but Maclin rolls forward to break the hold and sends Josh into a perched Trash Can. Tree of Woe, Caught in the Crosshairs connects! Maclin hits another! And a another! K.I.A…and that’s all…oh Maclin lifts up Josh’s head and says “My terms”. Maclin goes to find the bag of tacks…oh no, they’re shell casings! Maclin tries a KIA into shell casings but Josh kicks him in the dick and takes time to catch his breath. They trade shots in the corner, Josh wants an Avalanche C4 Spike into the Shells, but a Headbutt from the Marine proves deadly, Avalanche KIA into Shell Casings, Maclin wins!

It was slow, but the story it told over the last year or so does help a bit. But between the awful camera work, and generally bad card, its hard for me to get really excited. 

The Hardyz & Ace Austin vs Kushida, Zachary Wentz & Riddle

Ace and Wentz start off, nice quick counters, leg picks, cartwheels, headscissor grabs, just solid Junior stalemate work. After the stalemate, Wentz asks Ace to tag Jeff, the crowd pops and Wentz looks like a kid playing at school and Jeff seems amused also. They even trade Rascalz fingers before locking up, Wentz tries something, chases Jeff out, Matt makes the blind tag as Wentz doesn’t see it so Matt surprises Wentz and we get the double team Hardy Backbreaker/Polish Hammer. Matt hits a Shoulder Tackle but Wentz Kips Up, Arm Drag and Twist, Wentz chases Matt into the corner but Matt moves so Wentz hits the Twists Crossbody from the middle rope. Works Matt to his corner, Kushida tags in, works Matt down and locks in the Liger style Surf Board. Kushida tries to transition to something else, but Matt gets away from him, tags out to Jeff, some double team work allows Jeff to tag Ace and we see some cohesion with the Ace Hardyz. Kushida does manage some space with a Front Dropkick, points to Riddle, the crowd pops and Riddle comes in. Some nice Gutwrench Side Suplexes, FIgherman’s Suplex Hold for two. Wentz tags in, Riddle and Wentz go for a tandem move but Ace manages to fight through and get knees up during Riddle’s Senton. Ace tags in Jeff, and Wentz is getting rocked.

Wentz continues to eat Irish Whips, Dropkicks to the back, Jeff tags out to Matt and Matt eats the Delete Headsmashes, a Rocket Launcher into the middle rope, and now Matt tags out to Ace. Ace with the Front Facelock and Knee in Wentz’s back..tries to keep control but Wentz fights out of the enemy corner, Ricky to Robert to Riddle. Pele, Rip Chord Knee and starts beating on Matt and Ace. T-bone Suplex into a PK on Ace, Bro-Trigger for two! Kushida tries to work on the arm, Ace starts to fight back, Simultaneous High Kicks drop both men. Same time tags Wentz and Jeff are in, Jeff hits all of his classic jams for a two. Twist attempt, but a Jumping Knee from Wentz says no. Kushida tags in, they try to double Jeff but eat a Whisper in the Wind instead. Poetry in Motion takes Wentz out of the ring, Ace takes Riddle off the apron, but Riddle recovers enough to break up the pinfall. Signature spam, Side Effect, Tanaka Punch, Twist of Fate, Jeff and Riddle slowly get to their feet…fist bump and then throw fists. Flurry turns into Jeff hitting a Canadian Destroyer on Riddle! Kushida gets doubled by the Hardyz, Double Back Handspring Elbow levels them both, Plot Twist from the Hardy, Swanton from Jeff on Kushida wins the match!

2 out of 3 Falls Match TNA Knockouts Championship: Masha Slamovich (c) vs Jordynne Grace

Since its a two out of three falls match, its of course gonna start slow, especially since Riddle and Hardyz popped the crowd pretty hard last match. So some simple tie ups and missed Spinning Backfists makes sense, a snap Spinebuster from Jordynne is an early pinfall attempt. Grace goes for a Powerbomb, Masha slips it, Hook Kick into a Gory Special that she drops into the ropes. Big Knee Lift into a Lariat gives Masha an near fall. Masha then goes to the hair use Snapmares, PK misses, Jordynne powders and Masha sees it so she just dives onto Jordynne in one fluid motion. Jordynne is rocked early, Masha looks for something on the apron, Grace throws Masha back into the ring so Jordynne can recover, but Masha hits the PK through the ropes. Struggling on the apron commences, Round Kicks to the chest and a Push Kick from Masha, but Jordynne hits a Spinning Back Fist and then a Package Piledriver onto the apron. Jordynne finally has some control in the match. Picks up Masha, rolls her back in, Jordynne follows but Masha rolls back out to buy some time.

Jordynne throws forearms, looks for Snake Eyes onto the apron, but Masha slips it and they brawl on the outside. Locomotion Piledriver counters, Masha finally gets the best of it, Package Piledriver from Masha to Jordynne on the floor! Masha breaks the count at 8 and decides their gonna make things definitive. She rolls Jordynne into the ring, goes for the pinfall, but Jordynne kicks out at two. Jordynne fires out of nowhere after a few Round Kicks with Body Slams, Slamovich hits the Back Fist followed by a Buzzsaw Kick, Grace counters a Masha kick into an Air Raid Crash for two. Kinikku Buster attempt but Masha slips it, they struggle, throw fists and then go into locomotion Cradles which Jordynne gets the best of, folds Masha up and scores the first fall. Jordynne 1-0

Masha hits the gas right after the break, two charging Front Kicks, Waterwheel Kick into a near fall. Masha looks for a suplex, Jordynne fights it off, but Masha gets the best of it, throws Jordynne into the corner and locks in some kind of Straight Jacket Double Chicken Wing, but Jordynne fights it off and they trade a few submission attempts before Jordynne pancakes Masha and gets a near fall. Short arm Lariat from Grace for only two. Kudome Valentine attempt from Jordynne but Masha slips it, Body Scissors Cradle from Masha into a Double Stomp and a near 2 count. Masha goes right into the Sleeper Hold, but Jordynne is fighting it off. Masha gets dumped, Kudome Valentine again but this one connects! 1-2-2.9! Juggernaut Driver attempt, but Masha keeps fighting, Enzuigiri from Masha, Tornado DDT into riding it down and locking in a Guillotine Choke! Jordynne refuses to stop, World’s Strongest Slam, Vader Bomb, Juggernaut Driver…countered by Masha with a Small Package and Masha ties it up! TIED 1-1

They both just start punching each other instead of going to the corner for the breather between falls. Referee forces the break, Masha throws kicks, Jordynne throws fists, Thrust Kick, Back Fist, but a Spinning Heel Kick rocks Jordynne so Masha goes for a Back Slide only 2. Running Knee from Masha, Gutwrench Sitout Powerbomb into the Package Piledriver from Masha for the decisive fall! Masha wins 2-1

TNA World Championship: Eddie Edwards vs Nic Nemeth (c)

Yet another match that starts slow. Does it make sense, sure, but nothing really starting hot and staying hot makes a fairly lame show just drag further. Just Shoulder Tackles, Drop Toe Holds, Submissions or Amateur Wrestling pinfall attempts, very slow stuff until Eddie just fires across the ring with a Charging Polish Hammer. Eddie puts Nic in the corner, one big NOAH chop and Nic sells like he’s shot in the chest. Nic has been on the receiving end of high impact but simple offense and going for repeated pinfalls. Lish gets involved a little with a rope choke, but we’ve grown to expect that from our Queen of Boston. Another Chop to the chest kills Nemeth, Eddie Irish Whips Nic chest first across…but when Eddie goes for something else Nic slips it and starts stringing together a few moves, Straight to the Heart Elbow Drops, Eddie powders before the 10th elbow, and tries to dodge and play coy.

Eddie dodges a Superkick on the outside and Nic takes out the time keeper. Nic hits the Elbow from the Top Rope eventually, looks to connect with a Superkick in the ring, but Lish causes a distraction and Eddie manages a Knee Breaker and to take back control. Nic tries to fire back up, a few traded punches, they both hit the ropes and do the simultaneous Lariat lay out spot. They get up, trade punches again, Nic levels Eddie with a Headbutt, Lish grabs Nic’s ankle as he tries to continue but the referee sees it all clearly. Even though Eddie rocks Nic, the referee ejects Lish and Eddie is distraught. Nic hops on him and goes for the 10 Count Punches, into a Thesz Press and more punches FameASSer gets countered into a Blue Thunder Bomb for a near fall! Backpack Stunner from Eddie after the Enzuigiri but only a two count. Eddie stops a Nic flurry, charges forward and eats a FameASSer!

Lish comes back down to the ring to talk shit after being ejected, she tries to hit Nic, but he ducks Eddie’s sneak attack, Eddie stops himself from hitting his wife, Lish grabs the belt, hits Nic with the belt, Eddie hits the Boston Knee Party…but Nic kicks out!? Die Hard Flowsion attempt but Nic slips it into a Danger Zone! Eddie kicks out of the Danger Zone! Fighting Spirit spot, into both spilling over to the outside after a Lariat. TURKEY MYERS COMES OUT! JBL comes out of the crowd! He charges to the ring, lays out Turkey Myers! Lish is beside herself. JBL looks over at Nic and walks away.

Both men pull each other up in the corner, Pop Up, counter, Headbutt, Danger Zone no, Boston Knee Party misses, Superkick into another Danger Zone and Nemeth retains.

 

Overall Score: 3/10

WrestleCade is a terrible production crew, the camera was bad, the lightning was bad, this reminded me more of the dark rinky dink 2015 era TNA. It also doesn’t help that the first few matches sucked, Xia Brookside looked like a snack and a half on the countdown pre-show, but she jobbed out to day old demon past her prime. Santana and Kaz was a waste of time, a bad match and a worse opener. Turkey Bowl was a mess and with Hammerstone pulling up lame 4 minutes into the match that just annoys me since I love Hammer, and if he’s legit hurt that really blows. Laredo Kid is really just a diversity hire and always has been, they give him no personality, no real momentum, he is just a generic luchador. He’s like Temu Suicide.

Jordynne and Masha was solid but the last fall felt really rushed and awkward, especially with all the slow start matches. The 6 man was more entertaining than it had any business being, but that’s also because Matt Riddle is awesome. Maclin and Josh was good storytelling, just wrapped in a bad show so hard to click into. Main event was fine, over booked, definitely silly, but okay. All in all, if this was a long episode of iMPACT! it would be fine, but this was a PLE/App Event whatever, and that really just gives me no hope for Final Resolution.

Genesis better be the start of new stories and a new booker. Because whoever it is (I think its Dreamer, but don’t know), is terrible and needs to be bumped down to an agent at best. This has been some of the worst story TNA has done these last 8 months. Just pissed away the hype that Scott D’Amore created.

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