Hi, hello & welcome to News From Cook’s Corner! My name is Steve Cook, and I have to lead off with a question. Who Dey? Who Dey? Who Dey think they gonna beat them Bengals?

We thought it would be the Kansas City Chiefs. For a half, it looked like they’d get the job done. I thought it was looking like a blowout for a few minutes, but the Chiefs couldn’t put the Bengals away. The turning point was when they got cute at the end of the half and didn’t put a few extra points on the board, leaving the door open. I can’t even say they were getting all analytical, they just got dumb and cute and lost track of the time.

Once that second half started, the mood changed. The Bengals made some stops on defense & made some plays on offense while the Chiefs were wondering what the hell was going on. I was too, so I can’t blame them. KC did manage to force overtime and win the coin toss, but it wasn’t enough for them this time. A rare INT from Mahomes, a kick from Shooter McPherson, and now I’m going to be distracted from this wrestling nonsense for a couple more weeks. I would apologize if I felt the least bit sorry, but I don’t.

Yeah, I forgot all about looking for Royal Rumble gambling picks last week since I was more interested at looking at football lines. My bosses here at The Chairshot know better than to get mad over it. As the legend once said: It is what it is.

We do have a couple of wrestling stories to talk about this week, and they share a similar theme, which is always convenient.

Danhausen to A&W

AEW held a beach event in Cleveland on Wednesday. While the hours before the show were dominated by opinion over how Orange Cassidy & Adam Cole looked in a beach picture, the hours after the show were dominated by opinion over someone that made their debut appearance during Cassidy & Cole’s Lights Out match.

WHAT A VERY NICE AND VERY EVIL SURPRISE #AEWDynamite: #BeachBreak pic.twitter.com/jliaFMfZRo

— AEW on TV (@AEWonTV) January 27, 2022

As somebody that pays attention to AEW & Danhausen, what happened was a welcome surprise purely due to timing. Danhausen signing with AEW wasn’t surprising at all in & of itself. He’d been interacting with AEW stars for months prior on social media, doing as much to get the company’s angles over as anybody else. If one was paying attention, they knew it was only a matter of time.

It seemed like an obvious thing to me, but not so much to a certain segment of the Internet wrestling fanbase. Some lost souls out there were shocked and appalled that AEW would sign a man like Danhausen. Either they don’t get Danhausen’s particular brand of entertainment, or they’re still hung up on the idea that Cody Rhodes said during an interview back in 2019 that AEW was going to be a super-serious sports-based presentation. You can say a lot of things about AEW, but one thing you can’t accuse them of is being super-serious. Some would call that their downfall. God forbid we take professional wrestling anything but super seriously, right?

Listen, I think one of the great things about pro wrestling is that taking things seriously is optional. I know a lot of people out there prefer to be miserable all the time. They sit all day watching television & reading Internet sites that reaffirm their belief that everything is terrible, and people should feel bad if they enjoy something going on in the world. There are also wrestling fans that prefer to be miserable all the time, and hate the idea of watching wrestlers that might make people laugh, or do something remotely entertaining that doesn’t involve pretty wrestling moves.

AEW has a lot of pretty wrestling moves. If you’re into high spots, there are plenty of segments on their shows that’ll strike your fancy. Another important part of AEW? The comedy. Specifically, the Internet meme type of comedy that gets tons of likes, hits, views and purchases. Not only does Orange Cassidy get a lot of likes, hits & views, he also sells a good amount of merchandise. Danhausen has already proven to be a master of this on the indy level, and will surely become one of AEW’s biggest merchandise movers. It might not be your bag, but Danhausen definitely plays to AEW’s base.

Good signing for AEW. I wouldn’t have recommended him for WWE, but Danhausen fits AEW’s style like a glove.

The Royal Rumble was WWE to a tee

Serious Question: Is there a wrestling event that generates more complaints than the Royal Rumble?

A number of factors play into it. One being the Rumble’s status as one of those shows that brings the older audience back. Most of us fogies have a bit of an emotional attachment to the Royal Rumble as one of the highlights of our childhood entertainment options. My friends at offtheteam.com don’t watch much if any WWE these days, but they were all over the Rumble Saturday night. It’s easy to get excited about something that brings back so many fond memories.

There’s a slight problem with the concept that rears its ugly head in the aftermath of the Royal Rumble. All of these fans that are drawn back with the promise of the Royal Rumble…most of them remember why they stopped watching in the first place. And, let’s be honest, WWE doesn’t spend much time thinking of how to bring back those lapsed fans. Certainly not during WrestleMania Season.

WrestleMania is all about the biggest stars under the biggest lights. That’s what draws the vaunted casual fan. They want to see stars that are worth caring about. That’s why Ronda Rousey came back and won the Women’s Rumble match, because people care about her. I know some of you diehard fans don’t like her, and I know y’all have some kind of attachment to Liv Morgan or Bianca Belair or whoever, but Rousey made UFC women’s fighting a thing, and made women main eventing WrestleMania a thing. So, if there’s any chance that a women’s match is going to main event a night of WrestleMania, it’s because Ronda Rousey is involved. That’ll hurt some feelings, but it’s true. As much as some folks out there want to tell you that Liv Morgan or Bianca Belair are a top girl, they really aren’t. Wish they were, but the facts tell me otherwise.

Ronda Rousey is. She’ll give that rub to Charlotte Flair or Becky Lynch, hopefully. Y’all might want her to give it to somebody else, but it’ll be a tough ask. Brock Lesnar is also in that class. People need to know that Brock vs. Roman will be a Mania match. I mean, some people want to tell me that maybe Brock & Ronda didn’t need that Rumble winner rub. Maybe they didn’t, but maybe it’s easier when people know that Brock & Ronda will be working WrestleMania? I mean, those are the people that WWE wants to have supporting them care about.

Brock coming down at #30 and winning the men’s Rumble really rubbed some people the wrong way. One one hand I understand their consternation, but on the other hand I get why it happened, and figured it was going to happen the second that Roman Reigns came down and convinced Paul Heyman to screw over his old daddy.

This all leads to another issue, which affects the regular WWE viewer more than the non-regular WWE viewer that checks in on the major events. The Royal Rumble results reinforced the commonly held view that the regular wrestlers don’t really matter. Watching the Rumble matches made that crystal clear. The women’s match featured a ton of women from back in the day, with a few women from the now mixed in that didn’t do much of anything. The men’s match had more current people, but none of them really mattered in the match. Most of the men & women left at the end of the matches weren’t men or women you would see on a weekly basis on Raw or SmackDown.

That’s the sort of thing that would matter to people that have tuned WWE out & only check in on major events. People that watch WWE every week? They don’t care. Doesn’t affect them whatsoever. People that WWE wants to tune in for the major events? They see names like Brock Lesnar & Ronda Rousey and get interested. Heck, Bad Bunny, Shane McMahon & Lita appeal to them more than Big E, Kevin Owens & Liv Morgan. That sounds silly to people that would clock on websites like this one, but it’s true.

WWE does not book the Royal Rumble for old fans looking for something to grasp onto. They book it for new fans they hope to reach. We can debate whether or not booking an old, wheezing , out of shape Shane McMahon is a good way to reach these people, but it’s what WWE thinks will work. And more often than not, Shane ends up in a WrestleMania match that’s better than what we expected.

Both of this week’s main wrestling stories involved wrestling companies booking towards the audience they’re courting. Personally, I’m more of a fan of Danhausen than Shane McMahon or Ronda Rousey, but that’s my taste. Plenty of folks out there would prefer Shane or Ronda. We all have our cups of tea.

I thank you for choosing my writing as your cup of tea. I’ll write about some NFL topics of conversation later this week since we don’t have any real games to gamble on. Until then, keep your stick on the ice.