Andrew’s JCW Lunacy Results & Match Ratings: Ep# 91

We’re supposed to get some answers on who knocked up the lead engine on the Ho Train, Jasmin St. Claire. Josh Bishop and Joel Gertner irritated Vince Russo last week with not playing ball. So we may get Caleb Konley versus Josh Bishop…maybe. With Russo leading creative, there’s a better chance at a screwed up finish than anything straight up. As long as it’s interesting, I don’t think there’s an issue regardless of the finish.

Ruffo returned to the family, Vincenzo is still being held captive by the JWO and we saw Ruffo get his pound of flesh with Vincenzo. So let’s see if we get more answers or questions tonight. Also there’s the whole HoKane and Barnabas drama. Lots of stuff to engage with.

The Brothers of Funstruction return tonight with an offer, they say, that Big Vito can't refuse.

Join the Premiere: https://t.co/CtC53i4Qb8@ruffcrossing @MadMacDavis #JCW #JCWLunacy #Wrestling #ProWrestling pic.twitter.com/DKEUIc0Kk5

— Juggalo Championship Wrestling (@jcwlunacy) July 16, 2026

Ratings:

• Sonny Kiss, Hollyhood Haley J & Alice Crowley vs J-Rod, Sophia Rose & Freya the Slaya: Sophia wins via Split Stunner – ** 1/4
• JCW Tag Team Titles: Choppa City (c) vs Backseat Boyz: Choppa City retain via Sucka Busta – ** 1/2
• Big Vito & Sally Boy vs Brothers of Funstruction: Vito & Sally win via Disqualification – **
• JCW World Lunacy Championship: Caleb Konley (c) w/Vince Russo vs Josh Bishop w/Joel Gertner: Bishop wins via disqualification – ** 1/4

Results:

Ugh, we lead off with Jasmin, so this might be a cringe opening segment like the first one with the doctor. She says time is up, but she wants answers now. She says she’s gonna slap a lawsuit on JCW for sexual harassment because just because she slept with like 50 men in 30 days, that doesn’t make her a ho, it makes her a master strategist. J says they found out who the Daddy is, but it wasn’t on her initial list. They even had to torture a few men just to get them to agree to the test. We’ll find out who’s Cartman’s father by the end of the show! The guy is apparently in transit to the show as they speak.

Sonny Kiss, Hollyhood Haley J & Alice Crowley vs J-Rod, Sophia Rose & Freya the Slaya

J-Rob, Alice and Freya in the same match? I…have zero complaints.

Sonny attacks Sophia and J-Rod instantly, Sonny with a Flying Double Lariat, stacks them up in the corner, Double Back Handspring Elbow, Sonny tries to catch Sophia but J-Rod breaks up the pin. Haley tags in, J-Rod blocks her offense, Snake Eyes her and tags in Sophia. Haley is getting stomped and choked by Sophia, she then hits the Pump Kick Facewash for two. Tries to continue with a corner charge, but Haley dodges with the ropes, Schoolgirl’s Sophia out of the corner, Running Knee Strike and Haley wants the tag, but they stop her. Freya gets tagged in since the referee is lost in the chaos. Freya is legal, starts beating on Haley, Sonny gets involved but Freya Chokebombs Sonny into the corner, knocking off Alice. Haley jumps on Freya’s back for a choke, but Freya just Cannonballs into Sonny with Haley on her back.

Sophia is legal again, but Haley gets distance, tags in Al. Haley and Freya fight on the outside, J-Rod gets picked off the apron by Sonny, Sophia is getting worked over by Alice. It breaks down into tons of bodies, Haley goes for the Power Slap on J-Rod being held by Alice, but J-Rod moves and Haley knocks out Alice. Sonny misses the Handspring Knees on Sophia, Sophia snaps off the Split Stunner, and the heel trio wins!

This was a tolerable match, that just broke down into craziness, but I find myself unable to stay mad when J-Rod is on the screen. Just saiyan.

JCW Tag Team Titles: Choppa City (c) vs Backseat Boyz

Atiba and JP are going to start off, a small stall, JP acts like he’s gonna Test of Strength, but kicks him, Chops a few times and then mocks the Choppa City gimmick, so Atiba dodges and hits a Chop Flurry, Double Time, Jumping Brain Chop! Tags in Bruce, and they keep things moving with Tandem Chops, a Corner Smash, quick tag for a Tandem SideChop Slam into a big Wiggle Slam and a Jumping Chop for a near fall. Atiba with the corner Chops for JP, Atiba sees Tommy moving to he Chops him, which allows JP a Missile Dropkick and Backseats finally get some quick tags and work going. Atiba is now isolate in the backseat corner, as JP chokes and poses before another quick tag and the Axe Handle from Tommy keeps Atiba reeling.

JP knocks Bruce off the apron, and hit double Poetry in Motion into a Hangman’s Neckbreaker for two. Acid Reflux gets hit, but only a two count. So many quick tags. JP is legal again, I’m pretty sure since he’s got the Neck Crank locked in. Tommy talks shit to 2 Tuff Tony in the crowd, and the referee isn’t looking at that, so Tony cracks Tommy with the Bacardi bottle. Choppa City take advantage of the assist, Sucka Busta and Choppa City retain!

The match was average, the interference works for how screwy the last few weeks were.

Mac Davis is in the ring ready to interview Dani Mo, but HoKane attacks Dani at Barnabas’ behest. HoKane is slapping the shit out of Dani, smashes Dani’s face into the ring post. HoKane is mugging Dani, throwing her into the guardrails, choking her and Barnabas is just barking at her and taunting her during the beating. Dani seems pretty laid out, HoKane throws her in the ring, stomps her, and then drags Dani to the post head first. HoKane bashes Dani’s head into the post, Barnabas calls for HoKane to do it again and again. Dani is limp as HoKane drags her to the middle of the ring and Barnabas brings in a chair. He hands HoKane the chair, but before she can crack Dani, CoKane’s music plays. Barnabas and HoKane escape through the crowd. Dani is still laid out in the ring. CoKane checks on her, but she’s unresponsive so CoKane throws up the X, and they stretcher her out. 

Big Vito and Sally Boy walk out to the ring, Vito is swinging around a Singapore Cane, and they want Vincenzo back. They call out the Brothers, and Yabo and Ruffo come out in full clown paint. They reintroduce themselves as The Brothers of Funstruction, and we do Clown Shit. Ruffo says he knows where Vincenzo is, so he gives the Lucianos an offer. Ruffo says if they can beat them in a match right here, right now, they get him back. But if they lose, Yabo grabs the mic and says the Vito has to leave forever! Sally accepts for the Lucianos, Vito isn’t happy about that.

Big Vito & Sally Boy vs Brothers of Funstruction

The clowns attack instantly, things spill to the outside, they stomp the guidos, hit them with the Pocket Popcorn, Yabo chokes Sally with the tie and Brothers start to double team Vito. Double Choke, Double Splash and Ruffo goes out to deal with Sally, but Yabo gets worked over by Vito in the ring. Ruffo comes in to stop it, Yabo shatters the Singapore Cane on Vito’s legs and they start focusing the knees. Ruffo grabs a chair, they start beating on Sally Boy when he comes in to shield Vito. The referee tries to stop Ruffo, Ruffo shoves the referee off and hits Sally with the chair, but the referee DQs the Brothers. The referee is an idiot. So Lucianos get Vincenzo back.

Jasmin walks out so they can finally get the answers on who knocked up the ho. They announce the final 3 candidates on who’s the father of the monster bastard. Finalist number one is Joe Dombrowski, he gets off of commentary and says “It gets lonely on the road” as  he takes his seat. Mad Man Pondo is possibility number two. Pondo walks out with his weapons, and no one looks happy. ICP’s onstage DJ is the third possibility, DJ Clay. Pondo and Dombrowski are hoping its Clay and Clay looks horrified…or…whorified? Clay says he’d rather fuck a hornets nest then be the dad, Dombrowski says he doesn’t want to be the dad and Pondo threatens everyone. Says he’ll kill everyone in the building including himself. There is a Jerry Chant, which feels very correct. Jasmin slaps Dombrowski and says he sucks in bed. It’s not Pondo either apparently and Jasmin says she was Blackout Drunk when they fucked. So who the fuck is the father? Pondo is skipping around slapping five with the crowd though…which is funny. The 1000% Father is: Mr Happy. Happy comes out with balloons and a teddy bear, he’s giddy to be the father. Jasmin slaps Happy even though he’s the only one that wants to be the dad. This is cringe, but a little amusing. 

Blast from the Past: Bloodymania I, Ultimo Dragon vs Jimmy Jacobs w/Scott D’Amore, 8.12.2007

JCW World Lunacy Championship: Caleb Konley (c) w/Vince Russo vs Josh Bishop w/Joel Gertner

Caleb and Josh shove each other, and Bishop of course has the advantage. Bishop lariats Caleb to the outside and Caleb spills out and clips the guardrail. Bishop throws Caleb back in and mean mugs the camera, but Caleb hits a Suicida and Bishop is eating some moves. Low Dropkick, a few quick attacks from Caleb but only a one count. Caleb goes for a Crossbody but gets caught and Sack of Shit sends Caleb powdering to take a nap. Father Bronson walks down to the ring and starts distracting the world. Caleb hits Bishop with a chair but Bishop no sells it, punches through it and then gets caught when he tries to use it. Caleb hits two opportunistic Superkicks, Caleb wants a suplex but Bishop turns it around to an X Plex.

Bishop is stalking Caleb and then choking him against the ropes. Bishop talks shit to Russo on commentary, and then goozles Caleb. Backfist from Caleb into a Disaster Kick and back to back near falls. Russo leaves commentary, Russo slides in the bat, Bishop breaks the bat over his knee, and then Big Boot through Caleb’s chest. Spinning Sidewalk Slam, for a two count. Bishop goes for Exit 187, but Vince calls in Krule! Krule attacks Bishop and the referee disqualifies Caleb. Krule went from being one of Caleb’s 4 mystery opponents to now his body guard.

I mean, we expected some kind of swerve with Vince, but Krule and Caleb teaming up makes sense on the fact that Russo has been buying all of Caleb’s biggest threats. 

Overall Score: 6.25/10

So this lost a little steam with the Jasmin angle just going too long and trying to be TOO Jerry Springer. Also it didn’t help that you had back to back DQ finishes for the actual wrestling matches. Any time there’s redundancy that gets a little stupid. It was nice to see Pondo, Dombrowski being involved in the final 3 was also funny. The open women’s match was fine, and definitely showcased most of the better women they have in the company (I’m partial to Alice, J-Rod and Freya, but no one is outright trash). Dani’s story with Barnabas got a little heavy, Caleb has an enforcer now, and Vincenzo needs to be returned to the Luciano Family.

Plus the whole shenanigans with the tag team division, there’s just a lot of moving parts. While most things were answered, we still have the whole HoKane thing. Is she just a fan? Can she wrestle? Bronson, Krule and Caleb seem to be a hell of a force to be reckoned with. Will Bishop get any allies or continue to lone wolf it? But yea, entertaining show, the wrestling left a lot to be desired, but as I’ve said before…you don’t tune into JCW for wrestling. You tune in for Jerry Springer/Hardcore TV kind of shock stuff, and may eventually get surprised with a fun match. I’ve yet to truly be disappointed with a show (the audio issue one wasn’t really the show’s fault).