Coverage
Mitchell’s WWE Monday Night Raw Report! (11/13/17)
OFFICIAL RESULTS
- Triple Threat: Mickie James VS Bayley VS Dana Brooke; Bayley wins and joins the Raw Women’s Team at Survivor Series.
- Enzo Amore & Drew Gulak VS Kalisto & Akira Tozawa; Enzo & Gulak win.
- Jason Jordan VS Bray Wyatt; Jordan wins.
- Six Man Tag: The Shield VS The Miz & The Bar w/ The Miztourage; The Shield wins.
- Finn Balor & Samoa Joe VS The Club; Balor & Joe win.
- Braun Strowman VS Kane; no contest.
PLAY BY PLAY
It has been three weeks since Raw was #UnderSiege.
And yet, it is as the New Day has said: Raw has done “nothing~!” At least, Raw seems to claim so, as Raw GM Kurt Angle denies knowing Kane was going to attack SmackDown GM Daniel Bryan! And even after being screwed out of the Raw Tag Team Titles by The New Day’s #UnderSiege2 “pump fake”, Raw did “nothing~!”
The Raw Commissioner, Stephanie McMahon, is here!
And she welcomes Atlanta to Monday Night Raw, and speaks on decisions she must make that impact everyone from fans to talent to shareholders to staff. Things that normal people can’t even fathom, which is why she needs “true leaders” running the show. As such, she introduces us to Team Captain, Kurt Angle!
The Olympic Gold Medalist was put on notice at the same time he was appointed to the Raw Men’s Team, and he wishes Stephanie to understand that he was prepared for the New Day’s raid. She’s not upset, but she is curious how The New Day got in. No idea. Well he’s honest. Was there an actual raid? No… But Angle “valiantly” led the charge, no doubt. Was there a raid? Or was Raw tricked? Stephanie can make a highlight reel for Survivor Series out of this stuff. She’s being harsh, the fans love Angle. Angle makes good on being team captain, with the Fifth Man being… Jason Jordan. Who is he? A capable wrestler. No, who is he to Angle? His son. And what has Jordan done to make him valuable to team Raw? He’s very talented. Okay, maybe we should put this another way. Who is SmackDown’s Fifth Man? John Cena. Yes, the 16 time World Champion and franchise player, John Cena. And last Stephanie saw Cena, he was on Raw. So, Angle chose his son instead of Cena? Or Cena decided to join SmackDown when he got snubbed? You’d have to ask Cena. But seeing as fans love Angle, here’s a second chance. What is Angle going to do at Survivor Series? Break Shane’s ankle. Angle is captain, he’ll start the match, and if Shane “has the balls”, he’ll start, too. What, is this the 1990’s? That you two are going to go 1v1, that Shane is going to man up? No Shane is going to have the others do his dirty work. Plus, Stephanie doesn’t think Angle could break anyone’s ankle. Angle’s gone soft and is going to be Stephanie’s biggest mistake. Shane is trying to ruin the show their father made 25 years ago, Stephanie put that burden on Angle and yet Angle is not changing her mind. Don’t break ankles, put heads on platters! DECIMATE SmackDown. But Stephanie has no other choice. Angle — “Sierra, Hotel, India, Echo, Lima, Delta. Shield.”
Yes, the Shield is here, in full! Roman Reigns is healthy, Roman Reigns is with his brothers in Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins, and the trio heads down the steps and to the ring. Stephanie wants the fans to make up their minds, are they cheering or not? Ambrose says that there have been a lot of leaders for Raw, none better than Angle. Angle is their guy, TLC proved he’s still got it. The fans join in, “You Still Got It!” Be that as it may, the Shield is missing those tag titles. They lost because of Angle. Are they even going to be at Survivor Series? Is it Angle or the New Day who made them look like fools? And where was Roman anyway? Wow a lot of questions. How about where’s Stephanie been? She wasn’t here for months, and all that happened was going through a table at WrestleMania. Oh, sorry, Rollins. It was HHH who put her through a table. Did she forget how this works? The Shield doesn’t do what she tells them, they do what they want. And they’d like to do something. Stephanie and Atlanta are all ears. The Shield wants The New Day. And if The New Day has balls, then there will be a match at Survivor Series. And The Shield will handle that. Angle has Team Raw, and The Shield will whoop the New Day’s ass. Raw is raring to go, can they win big at Survivor Series?
Triple Threat: Mickie James VS Bayley VS Dana Brooke!
With only one spot left on Raw’s Women’s Team, three must fight to be the Fifth Woman! As such, Team Raw’s Captain Foxy, “Bossy Banks”, Empress of Tomorrow and Brutal Beauty are ringside to watch.
The bell rings, the three circle, tie up, but Mickie gets the edge, double takedown on! Dropkick sends Bayley out, Mickie’s alone with Dana, snapmare and running — Baley trips Mickie up, covers Dana, TWO. Bayley brings Dana up, is put in a corner, Mickie comes back in to kick and whip but is reversed, collides with Bayley, Dana handsprings to hit them both. Dana keeps things moving, but Mickie dodges and Bayley runs Dana over. Bayley is dumped to the apron, Mickie comes back, Dana helps out, Bayley goes down to the ground. We go to break as Dana and Mickie stare down.
We return, Dana has Mickie caught in a corner, she rolls out but into Bayley’s back suplex! Mickie swings, gets a back suplex! Bayley throws Dana out to the apron, hotshot! But Mickie gives a flapjack to Bayley, kip-up to fire up. Mickie climbs up top, Bayley stops her with a forearm then climbs up to join her. They brawl on the top rope, Bayley is knocked away. Mickie takes aim, seated senton!
Dana breaks the pin, but gets forearms from Mickie. Back kick, front kick, Mickie runs to forearm Dana down. Bayley goes after Mickie, gets a stiff neckbreaker. Bayley bails out of the ring, Micke gives Dana a running facebuster. Dana rolls out, Asuka checks on Dana. Dana gets pissed, hits Asuka, that was a mistake. Dana gets in the ring, Asuka chases her out! Heel kick rocks Dana down! Bayley goes after Mickie, but she get rolled up, TWO! Neckbreaker denied into backslide, TWO, Mickie kicks, but Bayley hits Bayley2Belly! Bayley wins! She’s on the team! With all five spots filled, can this combination defeat SmackDown’s?
Enzo Amore & Drew Gulak VS Kalisto & Akira Tozawa!
The Certified Cruiserweight Champion and “Gabber Gulak” of the ‘Zo Train are in Atlanta, How You Doin’? Very well, thank you. Not you, Gulak. And days before taking on the Lucha Dragon to defend Enzo’s “boo”, as well as the future of 205 Live. Gulak wants to make it better, but it’s already great because Enzo’s on it. Kalisto has no money, no pockets like basketball shorts. Gabber Gulak gets time to talk, except for Kalisto and Tozawa appearing!
The bell rings, Gulak starts against Kalisto, but Tozawa wants in so Kalisto tags. “HAH! HAH! HAH!” echoes throughout the arena as they tie up, Gulak gets an arm lock and throws Tozawa down. Headlock, Tozawa powers out but Enzo tagged in and tackles Tozawa. The two stomp and whip but Tozawa dodges, Kalisto tags in. Springboard missile dropkick gets two for one! Team “Luch-AH!” in control as we go to break.
We return, Gulak has Tozawa in a cravat. The fans “AH! AH! AH!” for the Stamina Monster, he feeds off the energy and fights out of the hold. Gulak grabs Tozawa again to keep him away form kalisto, Tozawa rocks him with right hands and a kick. Gulak keeps Tozawa down, stomp to the back. He swings on Kalisto, but gets into a saido suplex from Tozawa! Fans rally with “Lucha! Lucha!” chants. Tozawa and Gulak crawl, tag to Enzo and Kalisto! Kalisto springboard seated senton to Enzo, then a mule kick, front kick and whip. Reversed, but Kalist tumbles over and kicks Enzo away. Springboard crossbody hits, Gulak goes to break, Kalisto evades so that elbow drop lands on Enzo! Tag to Tozawa, he climbs up, missile dropkick takes Gulak down. Gulak is sent out onto Enzo, then “Luch-AH!” as the TOZAWA TORPEDO hits! But that’s not the end of it, Kalisto springboard swantons! Cruiserweights are all over the floor, so a ring count must begin. Kalisto gets to his corner, Tozawa fires up, he puts Enzo in. Enzo is kicked again, Tozawa has him in the right spot. Tozawa up, takes aim, but Gulak goes to save Enzo. Kalisto wipes Gulak out with a cannonball! Then Tozawa brings Enzo up, Enzo pushes him into Kalisto, Jor-DONE-Zo! Enzo rolls up, Enzo and Gulak win! Enzo took advantage of environment, but will he still have his “Boo” when it’s 1v1?
Kurt Angle meets with Team Raw.
Finn Balor, Samoa Joe, Braun Strowman and Jason Jordan are all there, and they all heard Stephanie McMahon earlier. He’s taking no chances. Joe and Finn wanted to tear each other apart just last week, but Angle wants them to focus on Shane McMahon, John Cena, Randy Orton, Shinsuke Nakamura and Bobby Roode. These two need to get along, so they’re teaming up against The Club, Gallows & Anderson. And Jordan pissed a lot of people off, including Stephanie, so he must impress tonight by going up against “the most sadistic superstar” around, Bray Wyatt. And Braun wants Kane. Well- Braun, wants, Kane. Then he’ll get Kane, in the main event. Can Team Raw get some final momentum before Survivor Series?
Time for Miz TV!
The Most Must-See Talk Show in WWE history hypes up Survivor Series and how it is truly Raw VS SmackDown. Most importantly at Survivor Series, “internet tough guy” Baron Corbin gets to step into the ring with The Miz, unless he loses that US Championship to Sin Cara on SmackDown. Some think it won’t happen, but it’s Corbin’s MO. He failed to use his Money in the Bank briefcase to become world champion, and his US Championship reign has been “lackluster at best.” Corbin wasn’t even on the show last week, so he wasn’t even the bathroom break! There’s a level Miz is on and a level Corbin is on, Miz’s is higher! If Miz doesn’t have opportunities, he makes them and capitalizes! Just look at tonight: The Miz can “have one of the most momentous victories” against The Shield. And by his side will be two men laser focused on winning even when SmackDown looked to invade: The newRaw Tag Team Champions — and Miz’s close, personal friends — Sheamus & Cesaro!
The Bar are once again champions but still not liked by the WWE Universe. Miz congratulates them on the win, and they appreciate it. But it was no surprise, they did what they always do: eyes on the prize. While Rollins & Ambrose wanted to defend Raw, The Bar just wanted back what belonged to them. An opportunity presented itself, they capitalized, and they’re now three time Raw Tag Team Champions. Give it up for the champs! Boos and jeers instead. The Bar are the real WWE tag team champions, unlike the SmackDown champions, The Usos. Yes, they won the “cute little B-Show” titles. Fans remind Sheamus that he looks stupid. When Miz’s hand goes up, your mouth goes shut, and you will respect your champions! As Sheamus was saying, The Bar are the A-Team tag champs. They are the flagship show’s champs! “Damn it, we are the Raw tag team champions!” And they’re gonna jailbreak the Uso Penitentiary! Just like they’re going to finally break the Shield! Yes, the true Shield, too. No glory hogging Kurt Angle stepping in, it is Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns. Think of the magnitude! Look at the odds they had to overcome, like betrayal and years of infighting, and now they’re reunited just to face The “Hollywood Bar”, the champions of Raw! This is not The Shield’s moment but theirs! Because they don’t just set the bar, they are the bar. Can Miz and friends really ruin the storybook reunion?
Jason Jordan VS Bray Wyatt!
The Gold-Blooded Son needs to step up and prove he isn’t just being favored by his father, can he do so against the returning Eater of Worlds? The bell rings, the two circle, Wyatt swings but gets chased to ropes. JJ backs off so Wyatt can return, they tie up and JJ gets a waistlock. Wyatt backs him down, ropebreak in a corner, Wyatt walks away but comes back in, misses, Wyatt spooks JJ with that lean-back. Wyatt comes out, JJ dropkicks him down, then a waistlock. Ropebreaks made dirty as Wyatt hits JJ and then runs him down with a headbutt. Angle is watching this as JJ still lifts Wyatt up and puts him in a corner. Then, corner to corner! JJ is fired up, runs in corner to corner for the shoulder tackle. Overhead suplex! Wyatt rolls out, JJ pursues from around the corner to build speed, but misses wide and runs into barriers.
Wyatt has turned the tables, “you don’t know who you’re messing with, kiddo.” We go to break as the Face of Fear looms over JJ.
We return, Wyatt has JJ in the ring with a chinlock, but fans are rallying. JJ gets free but gets an uppercut, Wyatt goes after the leg, which JJ tweaked during break. Back senton to squash, TWO. Wyatt keeps on that leg, Wyatt dares JJ to get up. JJ does and fights back but then gets rocked by a stiff right uppercut. Wyatt keeps on JJ’s leg, JJ clutches it in pain. Wyatt brings JJ up, “Is he a hero?” Wyatt clubs JJ back down, then lift shim up for a scoop slam. JJ slips out, but that leg gives out, Wyatt boots JJ down, then slams him with a vicious yurinagi!
Wyatt goes to the corner, fans get loud as he does the spider walk. JJ rocks Wyatt with a right hand of his own! Then a back elbow out of a corner, JJ staggers over, Sister Abigail- roll up! JJ pulls off the win! And Stephanie was there to watch it. Has this valiant effort impressed her?
Wyatt clobbers JJ! Wyatt isn’t done with the Gold-Blooded Son, he runs JJ over with a lariat! Then he puts JJ onto the apron, and takes that bad leg to throw it against the post! JJ writhes in pain, Angle is devastated as he hurries out of the office. Fans chant “Thank you, Wyatt!” as they’re clearly not fans of Angle’s son.
JJ needs to be helped away, will he be in any shape to compete at Survivor Series?
Kurt Angle checks on Jason Jordan in the trainer’s room.
A lot of ice for that battered knee, and Jordan says he’s okay but… Jordan says Angle competed through injuries, Jordan wants to do the same. But he needs to be at 100%, not 90%. But this is Jordan’s chance, the opportunity he’s wanted for his entire life! He deserves this, doesn’t he, Dad? What will Angle decide come Survivor Series?
Altanta becomes Suplex City!
As such, fans duel “AJ Styles!” “Suplex City!” to the enjoyment of Paul Heyman, Advocate of the “reigning, defending, undisputed Universal Champion, BROCK, LESNAR!” And Lesnar has authorized Heyman to list the top five reasons to watch Survivor Series on the WWE Network. First selling point: the first time a Universal Champion and a WWE Champion will go 1v1, and the first time Lesnar goes up against Styles. This may be the only time these two ever have a match, so to put it simply, “don’t miss it!” Second selling point: Heyman wants to see this, too! He knows Lesnar better than anyone, and has seen with his own eyes this year alone, Lesnar has gone against the biggest and baddest but no one is better. Styles is an interesting opponent, and has mastered something that you learn in fight sports, “Speed Kills.” Styles has the speed advantage but that’s not all. Third selling point: “She said yes!” Oh, wait, someone proposed at this time? How sweet. Because she’s never had a Beast like Lesnar. By the way, interrupting a Heyman promo is tantamount to fighting Lesnar: you won’t win. Third selling point: Styles is the “single most talented in-ring performer of this generation”! Well, isn’t that Finn Balor? Those two can settle that on their own, but to Heyman, Styles is stylistically the “ultimate opponent” for Lesnar. Styles has the most momentum, second to Lesnar. Styles is a respectable world champion. But now Styles is the “ultimate underdog” because “this good ol’ boy from Georgia” is up against a “Georgia Bulldog eating carnivore” this Sunday! Lesnar shall prove he and he alone is “the number one champion in WWE, then, now and forever.” These are the odds Styles has to overcome. Fourth selling point: you wanna see a Rocky movie come to life? That’s Styles VS Lesnar. Fans chant for AJ Styles, and Heyman agrees. This year alone, Styles defeated John Cena, Shane McMahon and Jinder Mahal, which is why this is such a great story! But Fifth selling point: this in’t Rocky, this is Survivor Series. Styles won’t survive Suplex City, Styles won’t survive The Beast, Styles won’t survive the Conqueror, Styles won’t survive the F5. Heyman looks forward to telling the tale of Styles’ heroic effort as he puts on the show of his life only to be victimized by… BROCK, LESNAR. Is Heyman once again correct about his assessment? Or will Styles surprise us all in this once-in-a-lifetime match?
Six Man Tag: The Shield VS The Miz & The Bar w/ The Miztourage!
The match-up that was meant to be at TLC happens here and now, can the #HoundsofJustice keep the championship-studded “Hollywood Bar” from seizing opportunities tonight? The bell rings, Swiss Cyborg starts against Architect. They tie up, waistlock but standing switch, Rollins arm-wrenches and headlock takeover, headscissor counter form Cesaro, stand off. The two go again, Cesaro kicks low, gives a stiff European Uppercut, headlock but Rollins powers out, Cesaro shoulders him down. Cesaro runs, Rollins speeds it up, dropkick drops Cesaro. Tag to The Lunatic Fringe, they get running for a low lariat, a knee drop and an elbow drop. ONE, Ambrose puts Cesaro in a corner for stiff chops. Cesaro turns it around to give a chop of his own, Ambrose walks it off. Cesaro gives him another, Ambrose walks it off again to fire off more chops of his own. Corner to corner whip, reversed, up and over to a drop toehold, Indian Deathlock and a hook to the nose, Ambrose lets go at 4. Crossface punch, then Cesaro up, tag to Rollins. Rollins goes up, ax handle to Cesaro, then more chops. Tag to Ambrose, he goes up, a handle to the ribs. Cesaro fights back with a EuroUpper, tag to Sheamus. The Bar whips Ambrose, Bar Lariat knocks him down. Sheamus runs, low boot, then stomps. EuroUPper from the Celtic Gladiator, then body shots in the corner, cheap shot in the form of raking fingers in Ambrose’s face. Miz lets Ambrose go then tags in, the Intercontinental Champion keeps Ambrose isolated with a mudhole stomp. Then cheap boot grinds into the sides of Ambrose’s head. Miz stomps another mudhole, Sheamus tags in, Cesaro tags in, Super Saiyan mule kicks! Ambrose down for a cover, TWO. Tag to Sheamus, Sheamus goes up, ax handle for Ambrose. Sheamus gives Ambrose kenes to the ribs, elbows to the back, and then sits him down with a chinlock. Shift to keylock, but Ambrose gets to his feet as fans slowly rally. Ambrose fights back, Sheamus knees low, Ambrose gives a knee back. Tag to Rollins, dropkick to dropkick to clothesline from Reigns! Cesaro in, gets clothesline’d out. Double slingshot planchas! The Bar is down, Miz is alone with Roman.
Miz retreats to regroup with the Miztourage. The Shield flanks them, Bo goes into barriers! Axel has a neck brace, show mercy! No, not gonna. Miz runs away through the crowd! The Shield lets him go, they keep the ring, we go to break.
We return, so has Miz, he plants Rollins with a DDT! TWO, and Miz is furious. Miz thrwos Rollins out, Cesaro lurks but Ambrose intercepts! Sheamus goes after Ambrose, Miz goes out to get Rollins. Back into the ring, Rollins clobbers Miz with a clothesline. Both men are down, Sheamus is there to tag Miz. Sheamus keeps Rollins back, suplex reversed, TWO, Rollins baits and dumps Sheamus to the apron. Sheamus has a rough bump but he still goes after Rollins, stiff elbows from Rollins are responded to with a hotshot. Sheamus goes up, takes aim, flying shoulder SUPERKICK’d out of the sky! Fans rally, Sheamus tags Cesaro but Rollins tags in Roman! The Big Dog rallies on everyone, jumping lariat on Cesaro. Cesaro in a corner, he gets those close-range clotheslines. All ten connect, Roman runs but Cesaro boots. Roman boots back! Then, Samoan Drop! Roman has fans cheering, jeering and booing, Miz goes after Roman’s foot. Ambrose DIVES outta nowhere! Cesaro EuroUppers Roman, Sheamus knees him, pop-up EuroUpper! TWO and Cesaro is shocked. Sheamus is back, Cesaro reaches but Ambrose trips Sheamus up, Rollins DIVES! Roman SUPERMAN PUNCHES Cesaro! Fans know what’s next, as Roman lets out the battle cry. SPEA- EURO UPPER! In position, Neutral — back drop! Miz tags in, Roman swings but misses, SUPERMAN PUNCH intercepts Cesaro!
Miz gets Roman in a roll-up, TWO! Miz wants the Finale, gets a flying knee! Sheamus goes after Rollins, gets Dirty Deeds! Miz is vulnerable as the Shield surrounds him. Miz senses what’s coming, the fans do, too. SPEAR! But that’s not all, the fans and The Shield fire up, time for the Triple Bomb!! The Shield wins! The New Day better be ready, because The Shield is back!
Kane has a message.
“Even as someone as sick and depraved as I am can smile. All I have to do is remember what I did to Braun Strowman.” The sound of that garbage truck crushing his body, “a true symphony of horrors.” And tonight, Kane will show Strowman there are worse things than death, one of them being Kane himself. Can the Big Red Machine establish superiority this close to Survivor Series?
Kurt Angle returns to the ring.
He brings up the decisions a leader must make. This is the toughest decision he’s ever made as a GM. Jason Jordan was injured in his match against Bray Wyatt, so as the Raw GM, and Team Captain of Raw, he cannot allow Jason Jordan to compete. Jordan’s replacement — Don’t do this. Jason Jordan is headed to the ring. Don’t take this away from him! This is Survivor Series, the one time that it’s Raw VS SmackDown, and the one time he’d get to be side-by-side with his father. But you’re injured. Not by Sunday! But he won’t be 100%. Jordan insists he’ll be fine, because if Angle can compete injured, so can he. Jordan can be just like Angle. It’s not worth it. But it is! Jordan has always emulated Angle, from high school to college to the WWE. Angle was his hero, so being on the same show is a dream come true. But, to be honest, Angle knows he didn’t pick out of favoritism. Don’t take this away from Jordan. Jordan won’t get another chance like this. It’d be an honor to represent Raw, so don’t take that from him. He wants to compete alongside his father. Please reconsider.
“Give me a break, Kurt.” Stephanie McMahon can’t believe this is happening. Just make the announcement, now. Fans want it, too. As if that wasn’t enough, TRIPLE H is here!
He marches right down to the ring, takes the mic from Angle, and after a stern stare down, Triple H makes the choice for him. “The Fifth Member of Team Raw, is me!” Triple H, on Team Raw?! And JJ doesn’t want to accept it. Fans are thunderous, but Triple H tells Angle he’s gonna do it. PEDIGREE to Jordan!
The Game takes no prisoners, he is fighting for Raw’s domination over SmackDown and the decimation of SmackDown. Is this the advantage Raw needs to silence SmackDown’s uprising?
Finn Balor & Samoa Joe VS The Club!
This match is the definition of dysfunction: The Extraordinary Man has to team with The Destroyer, who he despises, in a match against The Good Brothers, who he was once teammates with. Can differences be put aside for the greater good of Team Raw? Well, not with how Joe shoves Finn to force him to start the match… The bell rings, The Machine Gun takes advantage by attacking Finn from behind, not really #GoodBrotherBehavior… Anderson keeps on Finn but Finn fires back, tags Joe, Joe gives jabs to Anderson. Tag to Finn, Finn arm wrenches but Anderson rocks Finn with a right. Whip reversed, sunset flip rolled through, dropkick. Anderson gets out of the ring, Joe runs in to clobber Gallows. The tension is strong as we go to break.
We return, Finn tags Joe and Joe goes after Anderson. Tag to Finn, Anderson is isolated. Finn chops, whips but is reversed, Finn dodges and gets to the apron, swing kick knocks Anderson away. Finn goes up, Gallows distracts, Anderson capitalizes. Finn tumbles to the mat, Gallows tags in, and he rocks Finn with a right hand. Gallows drags Finn up, Finn blocks and fires back rights of his own, but is pushed back to take a YAKUZA Kick, Too Sweet. Elbow drop after elbow drop, Gallows covers, TWO. Gallows drags Finn up and powers him to Club corner, tag to Anderson and Anderson rains down rights. Anderson brings Finn to a neutral corner and rocks him with a right hand, snapmare to chinlock. Anderson grinds and squeezes Finn, fans rally, Finn gets to his feet and fights back. Finn runs, but gets elbowed down, TWO. Back to the chinlock, fans rally again, Anderson switches to an armlock, Finn endures the wrenching. Anderson wrenches deeper, fans keep rallying, Finn feeds off it and gets to his feet. Finn reaches, reaches, but Anderson uses hair to pull Finn back. They brawl, stuff EuroUpper into a spinebuster, TWO! Anderson is frustrated, but The Club is in control as we go to break.
Back again, Finn fights out of Gallow’s chinlock, but is spun off into a boot, Too Sweet. Gallows steps to Joe, but that makes him miss the elbow drop on Finn. Finn takes an uppercut, gives a PELE! Both men down, Finn crawls, tag to Joe! Anderson tags in, but Joe rallies right over him, atomic drop to running boot, back senton! Forearm for Gallows, then the back elbow and PELE for Anderson in the corner. Anderson down, tag back to Finn to go up top. Gallows in but thrown out, so Finn gives him the Penalty Kick! Joe sits Anderson down! Joe DIVES on Gallows! Coup de Grace! Finn & Joe win! Joe leaves, not wanting to celebrate with his teammate, but if they can work like this at Survivor Series, can Raw win against SmackDown’s best?
Backstage interview with Alexa Bliss.
The Goddess of Raw will face the winner of Charlotte Flair VS Natalya tomorrow night. Any preferences? So, the Queen of Cats or the Queen of Dysfunction? Great. It’s not fair that Alexa has no time to prepare, but whatever. When she made the jump, the power shifted, and SmackDown truly became The B Show. Alexa DVR’s and forgets, but tomorrow is actually important. She might even show up to watch it live. But it doesn’t matter, the Goddess will reign supreme. Is her confidence justified? Or will she be horrified this Sunday?
Braun Strowman VS Kane!
Motivated by revenge and a desire to be top of the food chain, this main event is simply #MonsterVSMachine. The two lock eyes all the way from when Strowman marches down the ramp.
The two stand face to face in the ring, uppercut from Kane before the bell, Strowman boots him down. This isn’t even a match yet, Strowman just stomps on Kane. Kane gets out, Strowman pursues, Strowman gives Kane an uppercut. Headbutts and elbows, too, as they go around the ring, Strowman with the edge over Kane. Strowman gives body shots against the barriers, Kane crawls. Strowman keeps going, the referee tries to get this in the ring as an actual match but Strowman keeps punching Kane. Strowman grinds Kane against the barriers the clobbers him, making him feel like the trash Kane tried to turn him into. They fight in the timekeeper’s area, Strowman whips Kane but is reversed, Strowman goes into steel steps instead! Kane decides to up the ante, he brings out a table!
The fans are loving it already as Kane sets the table up. Kane stalks over to Strowman, kicking the Monster while he’s down. Kane brings out a chair, SMACK across Strowman’s back. And SMACK again, but Strowman stays standing. Choke grip and Kane brings Strowman over but Strowman pries his way out and then SMACKS Kane with that chair! Strowman is again stalking Kane as he SMACKS Kane a second time. Strowman sees that table and brings Kane over. A stiff uppercut rocks Kane again, Strowman puts him on the apron then climbs up the other side. Strowman climbs up, drags Kane up to join him, aimed at that table! Kane resists, punches Strowman, Strowman teeters but saves himself. Headbutt sends Kane into the ring, Strowman adjusts, Kane grabs him by the throat. Strowman breaks out, flying double ax handles! Strowman scoops Kane onto his shoulder, spiraling powerslam goes through the floor!!
The fans are losing their minds as these two behemoths disappear into the void under the ring, what is the condition of either monstrous man?!
My Thoughts:
Raw finally gets their go-homes to feel important again. Bayley wins a triple threat to be the Fifth Woman, though it seemed touch-and-go as there was a chance it could have fed into a long-game turn for the Huggable One. But it just works better with the WWE’s Four Horsewomen all in the match, at least for now. Enzo & Gulak win against their rivals tonight but that adds into the math of the Faces likely winning blow-offs in the coming week, Tozawa on 205 Live and Kalisto at Survivor Series.
And then there was the real big stuff. Stephanie wants Raw to not just win but dominate, so she adds on to that ultimatum from last week by questioning Angle’s decisions. The Shield, while maintaining their tension with the Billionaire Princess, promises results when they get payback on The New Day, the dream match we’ve all wanted. And tonight’s Six Man Tag against Miz, Sheamus & Cesaro was great, the fans were into it, even with Roman participating. Angle ends up putting all of Raw’s Men’s Team in action with mixed but important results. Jason Jordan and Bray Wyatt had a solid match, but this was a great way to swap out Jordan for a huge surprise in Triple H while planting seeds for several things, such as Jordan turning Heel because fans actually liked what happened to him, as well as Angle VS Triple H at Wrestlemania for what Triple H did to Jordan. Finn and Joe manage to keep dysfunction out of the way bell to bell for a solid match, but I’m a bit disappointed there wasn’t a moment of hesitation between Finn, Gallows and Anderson. Maybe in a 5V5 elimination match, the dysfunction might come into play. And then hot damn that ending. Starting as late as they did, Strowman in a main event match with another giant, it was all a formula for breaking something to close out the show with shock and awe, I just didn’t expect them to break through the ring. Even though Team Raw now has Angle and Triple H, Strowman is the key to Raw’s victory.
My Score: 8.5/10
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London calling to the champion crowns!
SmackDown brings gold to London as LA Knight defends his WWE US Championship and The Street Profits defend their tag team titles! Will the landscape change this close to WrestleMania?
OFFICIAL RESULTS
- WWE Tag Team Championships: The Street Profits VS Pretty Deadly; The Profits win and retain the titles.
- Kayden Carter & Katana Chance VS The Secret Her-vice w/ Chelsea Green; The Secret Her-vice wins.
- WWE United States Championship: LA Knight VS Braun Strowman; Braun wins, by disqualification, and Knight retains the title.
- Charlotte Flair VS Mia Yim w/ B-Fab; Charlotte wins.
- Randy Orton VS Drew McIntyre; McIntyre wins.
- Jimmy Uso VS The Miz; Jimmy wins.
PLAY BY PLAY
Cody Rhodes is here!
We follow The American Nightmare as walks to gorilla, then through the curtain, and London sings along with the song, “WHOA~ OH~!” Cody gets his pyro, says hello to fans along the ramp, and then we get the second “WHOA~ OH~!” and pyro. Cody goes to the ring, grabs a mic, then kneels down to kiss the WWE logo on the mat. The fans continue to sing along all the way to the end, “I AM MY KINGDOM!” The fans then cheer, and Cody holds up the belt to fire them up even more! The fans now sing for “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” and he soaks it in. The fans cheer again as Cody smiles, and he finally says, “So, London~! Whaddya wanna talk about?”
The fans chant “Let’s Go, Cena!” “CENA SUCKS!” Cody hears that dueling, and he smiles again. The song of “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” returns, then they cheer. Cody says, “At WrestleMania 41, I will be facing John Cena…” The fans boo, but Cody says, “I will be facing John Cena as he goes to break the record and win 17. But that is WrestleMania 41. In just a few nights, I will be standing face to face with John Cena in this very same city, in this very same arena.” The fans cheer that, but then here comes Randy Orton! Now the fans sing along with Voices as The Viper heads to the ring. Orton also high-fives fans before he joins Cody.
Orton grabs a mic, paces while the fans keep singing on their own, and then the fans cheer. Orton says he’s not really the sentimental type, but for Cody and for London, screw it. The fans chant “R K O! R K O!” and Orton tells Cody, “Look at you. Look at who you are now, the man you are now. Look at where he came from.” The fans cheer and sing “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” and Orton says he remembers a Cody in his early 20s, just breaking into the business. Cody was busting his ass harder than anyone else. He wasn’t exactly happy, and in fact, he was frustrated. But Cody was man enough, smart enough, to know he needed to grow, and that he couldn’t grow in the WWE.
Cody wasn’t exactly treated fairly in the WWE, so Cody left the WWE! That took some big ass balls to do what he did! Cody changed the business singlehandedly, and everyone in the back knows it. And Orton appreciates Cody for it. But then Cody came back, as they all knew one day he would. And the industry has been changed forever since the day Cody came back to the WWE. Cody is a bit teary eyed as Orton says Cody’s still the same guy, he just did what he set out to do, and he grew. Orton teases he would sing along with the fans, but the fans might leave. The fans again sing “CODY! CODY RHODES~!”
Orton asks if they remember when Cody Rhodes faced Seth Rollins in Hell in a Cell. The fans cheer because they do. Orton says that was impressive, and even impossible, as he started with a partially torn pec and then ended with a fully torn pec! His body changed all kinds of shades of purple that Orton’s never seen on a human body. The pain he must have been in. Cody persevered not just for himself. Maybe not even at all for Cody. It was not even for his family legacy; it was for each and every single fan out there! Then Cody went on to WrestleMania, beat Roman Reigns and finished the story!
But there’s always another story, isn’t there? And Cody’s right in the middle of one. Cody is in charge of his legacy, and it is a privilege for Orton to watch Cody take control of it. Ticket sales have been up, there’s more intrigue around the world, and listen to the people! It is 99.9% all because of Cody! The fans cheer that, and of course they sing. Orton says what he’s trying to say is a long-winded version of he respects Cody, loves him, and is very, very proud of him. The fans cheer that! Orton then says, “But… But now it is time for WrestleMania.” They both look to the sign, and Orton says he can guarantee Cody that Orton will kick Kevin Owens so hard in the head…!
Orton can just feel it already! He forgets how many days are left, but he can’t wait to remove Kevin’s head from his shoulders. And Orton knows Cody will enter champion, exit champion, but not before he beats the holy hell outta Cena all up and down the Vegas strip! But after all the smoke clears and the dust settles, just like Orton wants Number 17, there will come a time when Orton will want Number 15. But Orton won’t kick Cody in the balls like a coward. Orton will look Cody in the eye because he respects Cody, is proud of Cody, and sees him as an equal. Orton will look Cody in the eye and tell him that he’s coming for the title.
The fans cheer but wait! Drew McIntyre is here! The fans cheer the Scottish Terminator as he steps out on stage, mic in hand, and has a wry smile on his face as he looks at the ring. Drew waves as the fans now sing, “OH~ Drew McIntyre~!” Drew says, “Isn’t this wonderful? A couple of nepo babies having a love fest in the middle of the ring> It makes me absolutely sick. What’d you just say, Randy? if Cody gets through Cena at WrestleMania, you’re coming for that title? What exactly have you done since that big comeback to justify that title match? Aside be Randy Orton. The only big moment I can remember is you being on the shelf for months and months and months.
“People like to make jokes about it, but more people talk about my five-minute-45-second title reign than your entire comeback so far! So get to the back of the line, sunshine! As for you, Cody, you should’ve listened to me. But you shunned me. You attacked me. Everybody should’ve listened to me about John Cena, but they didn’t. And the next night, he kicked you right in the twig ‘n’ berries, proving me right as usual. And the main event of WrestleMania should be Cody Rhodes VS The UK’s only ever world champion, Drew McIntyre!” Fans do like that idea. But sadly, it’s not, because of that guyliner wearing Temu Undertaker, Damian Priest!
Drew wants to talk about what is happening. And what’s gonna happen! Drew steps up to the ring while fans sing for him again. Drew says it will not be Randy that takes the title from Cody, should he get through Cena; it’ll be McIntyre. The fans cheer, but Orton says they were trying to have a moment. Can Drew just cut the crap already? Drew says okay, sure. He’ll tell the truth, because that’s all he ever does. The truth is, Kevin might have a point! If those Voices are talking to Orton again, then they know Drew very, very well. And he’s thinking, “My God, Randy looks great! Absolutely jacked! On the outside.”
On the inside, that back is hanging by a thread. And if Orton provokes McIntyre, McIntyre will break him. And as for Cody- Cody kicks Drew and UPPERCUTS him! The fans fire up, and Orton R- NO, Drew gets away! The fans boo, but the battlelines are drawn! Even if Cody makes it out of the frying pan that is Las Vegas, it’ll be into the fire that is these contenders waiting in line! Will the American Nightmare be ready for whoever comes for the crown?
WWE Tag Team Championships: The Street Profits VS Pretty Deadly!
Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins are finally golden again, but it’s time to put the titles on the line already! And while they’re ready for the grind, they’re up against the hometown heroes! Will the Profits still be up in the O2? Or will Kit Wilson & Elton Prince say #YESBOY to a new reign of their own?
The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see who really wants the smoke!
The teams sort out and Kit starts with Dawkins. They tie up, Dawkins headlocks, but Kit powers up and out. Dawkins runs Kit over, the fans fire up, and Dawkins fires hands on Kit in the corner! The fans rally for Pretty Deadly, Dawkins whips Kit to a corner, but Elton takes that bump! Kit CLOBBERS Dawkins, then tags Elton! Atomic drop into DROPKICK! Ford runs up, but into a DOUBLE HIP TOSS! Dawkins whips, Elton reverses, and then Elton hurdles so Kit can DDT! The fans fire up with Pretty Deadly while the Profits bail out. Pretty Deadly has control while SmackDown goes picture in picture.
Elton is right on Dawkins as he gets in, and UPPERCUTS him to the corner. Elton clinches Dawkins for another UPPERCUT! Tag to Kit, and Elton RAMS into Dawkins so Kit can UPPERCUT! Dawkins flops over, Kit drags him up to wrench the arm. Kit whips, Dawkins reverses, but Kit grabs ropes. Kit ELBOWS Dawkins, DECKS Ford, but Dawkins CLOBBERS Kit! The ref reprimands but Dawkins RAMS Kit into the corner again and again! The ref counts, Dawkins fires fast hands, then he tags in Ford. Ford says, “SUCK IT!” then he KICKS Kit! Ford scuffs Kit, then drags him to a cover, TWO!
Ford keeps Kit down with a facelock, but Kit endures the grind. Kit fights up, fires body shots, but Ford whips him away. Kit sunset flips! Ford rolls through, and PENALTY KICKS! Ford mocks Elton with the Scott Hall fingers, and the ref has to keep Elton back. Ford drags Kit up, tags Dawkins, and the Profits mug Kit. Dawkins CLUBS Kit down, then stalks him. Dawkins stays between Kit and Elton, then whips Kit into the Profits’ corner. CYCLONE- NO, Kit dodges! Ford tags in, he keeps Kit from Elton now, but Kit slips out of the suplex! Kit fakes high to go low, hot tag to Elton! Elton rallies with LARIAT after LARIAT!
Elton kicks and whips Ford to a corner, then UPPERCUTS! Elton whips the other way, UPPERCUTS again, and then does it again! Elton adds to the hattrick with a lift, Ford says a quick prayer before the SUPLEX! Ford flounders, gets to his feet, but Elton dodges to springboard and FLYING UPPERCUT! Cover, TWO! Ford stays in this, but Elton stays on him. SmackDown returns to single picture and fans rally for Pretty Deadly as Elton gives Ford a back suplex. Ford lands out, waistlocks, but Elton switches and shoves Ford. Ford CLOBBERS Elton in return! Ford is also dazed but he covers, ONE!
Kit reaches out, Elton and Ford both crawl, hot tags to Kit and Dawkins! The fans fire up as Dawkins wrenches Kit, underhooks and SILENCER! Dawkins Electric Chair Lifts Kit, Ford climbs, but Kit slips free! Kit shoves Dawkins into Ford! Ford falls to the floor, but Dawkins ENZIGIRIS Kit! Elton tags in, and Kit LARIATS Dawkins! Pretty Deadly combine for DRY MARTI-KNEES! Cover, TWO!! Dawkins survives and the Profits are a bit unsure of what to do next. Dawkins crawls to a corner, Elton runs up, but Dawkins dodges! Elton hits buckles and Dawkins TOSSES Kit, then Dawkins hits a SKY HIGH on Elton!
Dawkins hurries to tag Ford and Ford climbs up! But Kit pushes Elton out of the way! Kit takes FROM THE HEAVESN, and Elton ghost pins Ford! TWO!! Ford escapes, and he ROCKS Elton! Elton UPPERCUTS Ford! Dawkins sneaks a tag, Ford SUPERKICKS! POUNCE SAIDO COMBO!! Cover, KIT BREAKS IT! The fans fire up while all four men are down! The teams go to opposite ends, then they all stand up in the corners. They all roar, all run in, and Kit SPEARS Ford while Elton FLYING UPPERCUTS Dawkins!! London is thunderous, and Kit hurries to tag in! Pretty Deadly gets Dawkins up, for SPILT MILK!! Cover, FORD BREAKS IT!
The fans are shocked, as is Elton, but Ford saves this for his team! “This is Awesome!” as Ford runs up and Elton TOSSES him out! Now DRY MARTI- NO! Dawkins doesn’t accept the second serving, and he DUMPS Kit out! Kit skins the cat while Dawkins DECKS Elton! Dawkins catches Kit to an Electric Chair! Ford rises, DOOMSDAY BLOCKBUSTER!! Cover, Profits win!
Winners: The Street Profits, by pinfall (still WWE Tag Team Champions)
Pretty Deadly put up a heroic fight, but the hometown heroes could not capture the gold. Dawkins & Ford hold onto the gold, will this be the strongest the Profits have ever been?
Kayden & Katana talk with Zelina Vega.
Carter & Chance know La Muneca got screwed over by The Green Administration. Chelsea thinks she’s untouchable, but someone’s gonna stop them eventually. Well, speaking of, Alba Fyre leads the way in as she & Piper Niven “scope the perimeter.” There’s one small threat. They frisk the “miniscule” threat, but nothing they haven’t dealt with before. Chelsea struts in and says, “The Eagle has landed~!” Zelina says she is so glad the “Bootleg Men in Black” have crashed the party. Now, yeah, they all know she’s small. But clearly this small “threat” is a big threat to Chelsea’s title reign. Otherwise, it wouldn’t have taken all three of them to beat her.
KC Squared agree with that. How about tonight, we see what happens when the odds are even? Chelsea says that’s fine, because Agents P & A are ready. The Secret Her-vice has been given their next mission, but will they be able to crash the party? Or will the party crash them?
Kayden Carter & Katana Chance VS The Secret Her-vice!
SmackDown returns and The Green Administration makes their entrance. The teams sort out, Alba starts against Katana, and the two tie up. Alba KNEES low, CLUBS Katana down, then fireman’s carries. Katana fights free, tags Kayden, and they KICK, double whip, and then trip Alba up for the basement DROPKICK! Katana adds a slingshot SENTON, Kayden covers, TWO! Kayden tags Katana, they double whip Alba to a corner, then Kayden runs in. Alba DUMPS Kayden out, ROCKS Katana, and she tags Piper! Katana arm-drags Alba out, then goes out to run up. Kayden gives her a boost, Katana CROSSBODIES Alba down!
The fans fire up, but Piper goes up and out?! CANNONBALL and down goes KC Squared! Piper salutes Chelsea and SmackDown goes to break.
SmackDown returns, Kayden rallies on Alba while the fans rally up. Kayden fires up, runs in and whips, but Alba reverses. Kayden wheelbarrows, victory rolls, then SUPERKICKS! Kayden fires up again but the fans are torn. Kayden runs in at Alba to BOOT WASH her against the ropes! Chelsea protests, Kayden kicks at her, then Kayden springboards for a LEG DROP! Cover, TWO! Alba survives, Kayden whips, but Alba KICKS back! Tag to Piper, but Kayden jackknife bridges Alba! The ref explains bout the tag, Piper runs up, but Kayden moves! The SENTON hits Alba! Piper panics, Kayden tags Katana!
Katana goes up onto Kayden’s shoulders, VICTORY ROLL LAUNCHER, but Piper catches Katana! Katana fires hands, BOOTS, and then hurries to go up again. Kayden ROCKS Piper, and fireman’s carries?! SAMOAN DROP! Kayden then gives Katana the boost, for the KEG STAND SPLASH!! Cover, ALBA BREAKS IT! Kayden runs up on Alba to BOOT her out! Katana gives Kayden the boost now, SUPER CROSSBODY onto Alba! Kayden hurries to tag back in, and she brings Piper up. Piper swings, Kayden dodges and SUPERKICKS! Katana goes up, Piper staggers over that way, but Chelsea distracts the ref!
The fans are torn as Alba grabs Katana. Katana kicks Alba down, chases Chelsea off, but Piper sends Kayden into her! Piper scoops to PIPER DRIVER!! Cover, Secret Her-vice wins!
Winner: The Secret Her-vice, by pinfall
The Women’s US Champion helps her team, and now they all mug Kayden & Katana! But here comes Zelina! Vega runs down the ramp, CLOBBERS Alba, and then she gets in the ring! Zelina tilt-o-whirl DDTS Piper! And she KNEES Alba off the apron! But Chelsea CLOBBERS Zelina! Chelsea fires up, the UK is oddly with her, and she chicken wings Zeina. But Zelina fights free to fire forearms and body shots! And a BACK ELBOW! Zelina reels Chelsea in, CODE- SUPERKICK from Alba! SENTON from Piper! The Green Administration is just too much for Zelina to fight against alone! But can she, Kayden & Katana find a way to turn things around?
WWE United States Championship: LA Knight VS Braun Strowman!
Did the Mega Star just get this title back from Shinsuke Nakamura? YEAH! Did he help the Monster of All Monsters fight off Solo Sikoa’s rouge bloodline? YEAH! And now, does he have to defend this title against the monster he just helped? YEAH!! But will Knight still reign this close to WrestleMania? Or will Braun #GetTheseHands back on a championship?
The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and it’s time for Knight’s biggest challenge, YEAH!
The bell rings and the fans rally up as the two circle. The two tie up, and Braun SHOVES Knight away. Knight comes back, Braun SHOVES him down again! Knight gets up, gets around, and he headlocks. Braun powers up to back suplex, but Knight lands out! Knight tries but Braun’s too big to suplex! Braun ELBOWS Knight, storms up on him, but Knight fires haymakers! Knight whips, Braun reverses, but Knight KICKS back! Knight runs, but Braun HIP TOSSES! Cover, TWO! Knight stays in this, but Braun brings him up. Braun puts Knight in a corner, CHOPS, then runs, for a SPLASH! Knight sputters along ropes, Braun keeps moving, but Knight DUMPS him out!
The fans fire up as Knight then WRECKS Braun with a dropkick! Knight keeps moving, and he WRECKS Braun again! The fans fire up with Knight, but then Braun BOOTS Knight down! The fans are torn but Braun stands tall as SmackDown goes to break.
SmackDown returns and Braun puts Knight back in the ring. The fans cheer as Knight KICKS Braun! Knight tries again, but Braun’s still too big to back suplex! Braun CLUBS Knight, then runs in at the corner. Knight BOOTS Braun, goes up, and FLYING BULLDOGS! Both men are down and the fans fire up! Knight and Braun rise back up, and Knight dodges a shot to JAB! Then he dodges to JAB! JAB! JAB! “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” But Braun KNEES low! Braun scoops, Knight slips free, and Knight RAMS Braun into buckles! Then the BACK SUPLEX! The fans fire up and Knight rises again! Knight spells it out, “L! A! KNIGHT! YEAH!” ELBOW DROP! Cover, TWO!
Braun has plenty left in the tank but the fans rally for Knight. Knight stands Braun up to kick low, but Braun THROWS Knight away! Knight rises, and Braun LARIATS Knight up and out! The fans fire up as Braun rips the shirt! Braun gets on the track, and he runs in, STROWMAN EXPRESS MEETS JACOB FATU!! The Samoan Werewolf strikes Braun down!
Winner: Braun Strowman, by disqualification; LA Knight retains the title
The fans boo as Jacob now goes after Knight! He just ruined what was becoming a great match, but Jacob fires HEADBUTT after HEADBUTT on Braun! SAMOAN DROP onto the desk!! The desk doesn’t budge, but Braun might’ve been broken in half! The UK fires up for Fatu as he puts Braun in the ring! Jacob fires more HEADBUTTS, then HEADBUTTS away on Braun in the corner! The fans sing “OLE~ OLE OLE OLE, FATU~, FATU~!” Jacob runs corner to corner, but Knight kicks him first! Knight fires haymakers, “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” Jacob denies the BFT to POP-UP SAMOAN DROP! And then HIP ATTACK for Braun anyway!
Jacob keeps going, HIP ATTACK for Braun again! Jacob throws off his jacket, glares at Braun, and he runs in for a third HIP ATTACK! Braun flounders into the drop zone, so Jacob goes up, up, BEST MOONSAULT EVER! Direct hit on Braun, but the fans want that “ONE MORE TIME!” Jacob obliges, BEST MOONSAULT EVER! The Samoan Werewolf just tore up #OneBigSOB and LA Knight, will there be no stopping him from taking the United States Championship?
Backstage interview with Jimmy Uso.
Jackie Redmond is with #BigJim, and she says that while she knew WWE was going global this month, she did not know they’d get the slap heard ’round the world! Jimmy says he’d do it again, and he’ll slap Gunther as many times as he needs! Jimmy knows Jey is up in his own head, doubt is creeping on him. But just because Jey’s 0-3 against Gunther doesn’t mean Gunther’s unbeatable! The Ring General CAN be got! Jimmy’s going to Raw this Monday, he will bust Gunther’s ass, Jey will go to Mania and bust Gunther’s ass to become the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. And then they leave Las Vegas just like this: YEET!
Jimmy heads out, but then The Miz & Carmelo Hayes walk by. Miz is mocking Jimmy’s words, and he asks excuse me. Miz says it’s just funny that suddenly, Jimmy is a tough guy, even though for most of his career, he’s been “The Other Uso.” Doesn’t Jimmy get it? Jimmy and Jey are career sidekicks while Gunther is a main character. Gunther is the lead, neither Jimmy nor Jey can beat him. And here’s another thing: The Usos are just blips on the trailer that was Roman Reigns’ Bloodline. Melo says Jimmy & Jey are stuck outside the club, they can’t even get in.
Miz says as a former WWE Champion, a former WrestleMania main eventer, Jimmy will never know what it is to carry this industry. And after this year’s WrestleMania, neither will Jey. Oh, and by the way, if Jimmy ever slapped Miz like that, Jimmy would still be on the ground. Jimmy feints the slap and Miz freaks out. Jimmy says it may be him and Gunther on Monday, but he’ll holler at Aldis real quick so it can be Jimmy VS Miz here tonight. Yeah, YEET! Jimmy heads out, Melo says he thought Miz was gonna do something about the slap. Will Miz have to do something about running his mouth before he gets his teeth kicked in?
Solo Sikoa & Tama Tonga find Jacob Fatu backstage.
Solo asks Jacob what the Hell he was doing out there. Jacob goes out there alone without saying a thing to them? Jacob says he ain’t gotta say nothing to nobody! Matter fact, didn’t Solo not tap in with him last week? Tama says, “But Jacob,” only for Jacob to say, “But nothing, Tama!” Solo wants Jacob to lower his tone, but Jacob says okay. Let him be very clear with them. When it comes to Braun Strowman, Jacob WILL be the last man standing. Y’all better get in where you fit in, cuz that US title? Oh, Jacob’s bringing it home to the family. And he will do it with them, or without them! Yadada mean? Fatu heads out, is the Samoan Werewolf no longer following Solo?
Naomi speaks.
“I mean… How did we even get here? I don’t know. One thing that I do know is that I’ve always been the woman to do the right thing. I’ve always been the woman to do the right thing. So Bianca, what makes you think that my attack on Jade was anything different from me doing the right thing? When I sit here and I think about all that I’ve sacrificed, all that I’ve given, and that’s what really breaks my heart. Because through all of that, I’m made to be the bad one in this situation. I just don’t understand, how does Jade come in outta nowhere and take my place with you? I want you to ask yourself this, Bianca. Who inspired you? Hmm?
“Who’s inspired women over the last decade? Who’s always had your back from day one of you being here? Me. Not Jade. Hmm. But you know what? What I’ve learned through all of this: You teach people how to treat you. And I’m done with being treated as a third wheel. I’m done being pushed to the side, I’m done with being too nice, I’m done with being undervalued, underutilized, underappreciated! So moving forward, hmm… Moving forward, here’s my message to you, Jade. If you continue to be in my way, I strongly advise you to proceed with caution.” The Glow shows her dark side, but will the storm be moved?
Nick Aldis meets with Jade Cargill.
Speaking of, the SmackDown General Manager understands things have been rather difficult for her as of late. Jade says she’s been trying to get her hands on Naomi for the past few weeks, now where is she? No one has seen her all day, so as far as anyone knows, Naomi’s not here. Well, when Jade catches Naomi, it’s on sight. Jade leaves, B-Fab & Michin are there. They let her know that what Naomi did to her was straight trash, totally uncalled for behavior. And after Jade gets her hands on Naomi, she’ll handle that business. Jade agrees. Mia says they’ve all got business to handle. Jade’s got Naomi, and Mia’s gonna get Charlotte for messing with her girl, B.
B-Fab says Naomi’s got what’s coming to her: no sympathy, no regrets. Jade, just do what you gotta do. Oh, she will. Jade also wishes Mia luck tonight. Mia & B-Fab head out, will the Head Baddie in Charge make the Queen bow down in London?
The darkness approaches.
“You are as I was. As I am, you will be.” The shadows are starting to take shape, but is SmackDown about to fade to black?
Charlotte Flair VS Mia Yim w/ B-Fab!
The Queen looks down on everyone, so it’s no surprise that everyone else wants to take her down. Charlotte may have checked off B-Fab, but will the HBIC be a much different story? Or will Charlotte only sharpen her edge before facing Tiffany Stratton at WrestleMania?
WAIT! NAOMI ATTACKS B-FAB & MICHIN! Naomi drags Mia up for a FACEBUSTER! Naomi rains down fists, the ref reprimands and the fans boo, but Naomi tells the ref to back off. Naomi then BOOTS B-Fab off the apron! Naomi goes out after B-Fab to THRWO her into barriers! Naomi SLAPS B-Fab, tells her to stay down, but B-Fab gets up. Naomi fires hands, then she SMACKS B-Fab off the desk! Naomi rains down fists, but here comes Jade! Jade hurries down the ramp, she runs around the way, but Naomi runs away! Jade makes sure B-Fab is okay, but refs have to help her to the back. And what of Mia? Will she even be able to compete?
Charlotte makes her entrance, not really caring about what Naomi just did to Mia. But that means she also crosses paths with Jade. The fans like the look of this stare down, but Jade and Charlotte both let the other slide. Charlotte gets her pyro, and it seems she’ll still get her match. Will Mia be little more than an appetizer now?
The bell rings, and Charlotte BOOTS Mia down! Cover, TWO! Mia stays in this and the fans rally up. Charlotte just struts around while SmackDown goes to break.
SmackDown returns, Charlotte has Mia down with a chinlock, but the fans rally up. Mia fights up, fires body shots, and she then blocks a shot to ROCK Charlotte! Mia ROCKS Charlotte again and again, then reels her in for a TORNADO DDT! The fans fire up as Mia hurries to cover, TWO! Mia drags Charlotte up, wrenches, but Charlotte says no to Da Feet! BIG back suplex! Mia stagger sup, Charlotte whips her, but Mia reverses! Charlotte goes up and out, BOOTS her away, then slingshots in and rolls Mia! Mia rolls through and BUZZSAWS! Mia runs corner to corner, but Charlotte avoids the cannonball!
Charlotte YAKUZA KICKS Mia down, then fires herself up! The fans “WOO~!” as Charlotte has Mia in the drop zone,. Charlotte steps on her, goes up the corner, but Mia gets underneath her! SIT-OUT POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO! Charlotte survives and Mia is shocked! Mia nods as the fans rally back up, and she brings Charlotte up. But Charlotte ROCKS Mia! Mia SOBATS, PELES, and then runs to PENALTY KICK! Cover, TWO! Charlotte stays in this, Mia grows frustrated, but the fans continue to rally. Mia uses that energy to stay focused, and she stalks Charlotte to waistlock. But Charlotte ELBOWS her away!
Charlotte CHOPS, and CHOPS, and CHOSP! Charlotte winds up, and she CHOPS again! Mia sputters, but then she dodges the boot! Charlotte is caught, and Mia hits a SAIDO! Charlotte flounders to a corner, the fans rally behind Mia, and Mia runs up, CANNONBALL! Mia hurries to wrench and EAT- NO, Charlotte shoves Mia away! Charlotte gets under, back suplexes, but Mia lands out! EAT DA FEET!! Cover, ROPEBREAK!! Charlotte’s long legs help her survive by a literal foot! Mia is beside herself while Charlotte bails out. Mia storms after Charlotte, runs up, but Charlotte dodges! Mia’s kick hits steel steps!
Mia hobbles away, goes to the apron, but Charlotte CHOP BLOCKS the bad leg out! Charlotte grabs Mia’s leg, drops a KNEE on the knee, but fans chant, “We Want Tiffy!” Charlotte just steps through, FIGURE FOUR, into FIGURE EIGHT!! Mia taps, Charlotte wins!
Winner: Charlotte Flair, by submission
Charlotte got more of a fight out of Mia than expected, but she still won. Will The Queen be more than ready to reign again after WrestleMania?
Backstage interview with Tiffany Stratton.
Jackie Redmond is with the WWE Women’s Champion and says Charlotte certainly looks confident. Let’s be real, Charlotte came at Tiff pretty hard. It got a lot of people talking. Tiff says yes, people talk. And Charlotte sure loves to hear herself talk. Ten years into the business and Charlotte is still so insecure that she can’t let a “rookie” get a word out. But last week, Tiff did learn something: She learned that walking into WrestleMania, she isn’t the one with something to lose. Truth is, if Tiff loses, then she lost to the great Charlotte Flair, as just a 25-year-old rookie with one year into SmackDown.
But if Charlotte loses… Well, then she lost to an “undeserving, delusional, unoriginal, backflip doing, blonde-hair-having, little girl.” Did she get it all? And Tiff can’t wait to hear the look on Charlotte’s face when they hear the words, “And STILL!” Then maybe Charlotte will finally shut up for the sake of literally everyone! They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, and Tiff will make damn sure what stays is Charlotte’s massive ego. Tiff is walking into and out of Mania as the WWE Women’s Champion. Tootles! Tiff heads out, will it still be #TiffyTime after WrestleMania?
Randy Orton VS Drew McIntyre!
The Viper told Cody how proud he was, but also how he wants the next shot after John Cena. The Scottish Terminator took offense to that, and basically said he is taking that shot instead. Will this match be an unofficial #1 contender’s match between these two former world champions?
SmackDown returns and McIntyre makes his entrance. The bell rings and the fans sing, “OH~, Drew McIntyre~!” and chant “R K O! R K O!” Drew and Orton circle, tie up, and they go around in a deadlock. Drew powers Orton to a corner, but Orton headlocks back. Drew powers up and out, then he runs Orton over! Orton hurries to ropes and Drew mockingly asks, “How’s the back feel, Randy?” Orton stands, he and Drew reset, and the fans duel some more. Drew calls for a knuckle lock, Orton accepts, but then Drew kicks low! Drew bumps Orton off buckles, then climbs up, but he panders for too long and Orton YANKS him down!
The fans fire up as Orton climbs now! Orton rains down fists, and the fans count to nine. Orton hops down, brings Drew around, and POSTS him for ten! Drew tumbles out of the ring, Orton goes out after him, and they’re by the desk! But Drew kicks Orton first and SMACKS him off the desk! Drew clears the desk, and he brings Orton up for the DESK- NO, Orton fights free! Orton turns things around, DESK BACK SUPLEX for Drew! The fans fire up while Orton leaves Drew behind, and SmackDown goes picture in picture.
Drew writhes on the floor, but Orton goes out to fetch him! Orton brings Drew around, UPPERCUTS him, then says one more time! DESK BACK SUPLEX! Drew writhes as that desk stays standing! Orton grins, refreshes the ring count, and then he storms up on Drew. Drew pokes Orton in the eye! Drew POSTS Orton now, then brings him around to RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP into barriers! Orton slumps down, and Drew also grits his teeth from that double-edged attack, but Drew fires up as he stands tall. Drew drags Orton up, puts him in the ring, then stalks Orton. Drew looms over Orton, and HIP DROPS him!
Orton sputters, Drew says one more time, and he winds up for the HIP DROP! Drew paces around Orton, says maybe one more time, and he pretends he can’t hear the fans. Drew winds up again, but Orton flips over! Hip drop meets kneecaps! And then Orton pokes Drew in the eyes! The ref reprimands but Orton rises up. Drew sputters and flounders, Orton ROCKS him with a right! Drew ROCKS Orton back! Drew storms up, Orton kicks low, but Drew fires another haymaker! The haymakers go back and forth, Orton gets the edge, but Drew GLASGOW KISS HEADBUTTS! Cover, TWO! Drew clamps onto Orton with an armlock!
SmackDown returns to single picture and the fans rally up. Orton fights up, pries at the chinbar, and then throws right hands! Drew CHOPS Orton in return! The fans “WOO~” and Drew winds up. Drew ROCKS Orton again, eggs him on, then CHOPS again! Drew shoves Orton to a corner, CHOPS again, then dares Orton to fight! Drew whips corner to corner, but Orton comes back to LARIAT! And LARIAT! Drew swings, Orton dodges, SNAP POWERSLAM! The fans fire up as Orton stalks Drew to the apron. Drew HOTSHOTS Orton first! Drew then runs in, but Orton puts him through the ropes!
The fans fire up as Orton has Drew for the DRAPING DDT! The fans fire up for Orton, and Orton hears those voices! Drew rises, but then Orton spots KEVIN OWENS! The Prizefighter is on the ramp, Orton glares at him, but then he turns around into a CLAYMORE!! Cover, DREW WINS!
Winner: Drew McIntyre, by pinfall
Kevin’s mere presence costs Orton, and now Drew has a huge win propelling him down the Road to WrestleMania! As for Orton, Kevin drags him out of the ring, SMACKS him off the desk, and then climbs up to join him! The fans boo but Kevin and his hot pink sneakers have Orton in position, but Orton slips free and TRIPS Kevin up! Kevin hits the desk then the floor! Orton staggers around, the fans rally behind him, and Orton stalks Kevin to the corner of the barriers. Orton lines up the shot! Orton runs in, but Kevin jumps over barriers! Security is there to stop Orton from pursuing, so Kevin runs away into the night!
The fans boo, but The Viper was that close! Will Orton be able to strike Kevin down and completely take him out?
Fire, thunder, smoke…
The force of nature is drawing ever closer. And he’s ready to fly! REY FENIX arrives next Friday Night SmackDown!
Jimmy Uso VS The Miz!
#BigJim gave Gunther a piece of his mind and a mark on his cheek, but it seems not everyone got the message. Will the Hollywood A-lister soon star in the Uso Penitentiary? Or will he prove Jimmy is NOT ready for a world champion level opponent?
The bell rings and the two tie up. Jimmy powers Miz to a corner, Miz turns things around, and the ref counts. Miz takes a swing, Jimmy ducks it to CHOP! And CHOP! Miz shoves Jimmy back, then runs up, but Jimmy TACKLES Miz! Jimmy rains down fists, Miz shoves him away to go to ropes, but Jimmy storms back up. Miz ELBOWS Jimmy away, then runs back up, only for Jimmy to LARIAT him down! The fans fire up while Jimmy storms up on Miz. Jimmy CHOPS Miz, has him in a corner, then whips corner to corner. Miz reverses, Jimmy goes up and over, then UPPERCUTS! Miz staggers back to ropes, but Jimmy is right on him.
Jimmy whips, Miz reverses and kitchen sink knees! Then basement BOOTS! The fans fire up, Miz scowls, and Miz KNEES Jimmy in the back again and again. Miz stalks Jimmy to the ropes now, and he CHOKES Jimmy! The ref counts, Miz runs, and Miz STRADDLE ATTACKS! The fans boo, but Miz runs again. Jimmy ducks the boot, then dodges a lariat! Jimmy runs up to LARIAT Miz up and out! The fans fire up and Jimmy builds speed, but Miz runs away! Jimmy smirks as he goes out the side, and UPPERCUTS Miz over the barriers! Jimmy makes sure Gunther knows he’s coming to get him, but SmackDown goes to break.
SmackDown returns and both men are down. Miz and Jimmy crawl, and Jimmy pounds the mat. The fans rally, Jimmy rises and runs up to LARIAT! And LARIAT! And mule kick! Jimmy then UPPERCUTS Miz, dodges a lariat, then SAMOAN DROPS! The fans fire up, Jimmy goes to the corner, “UCE! OH!” Jimmy runs in, but Miz puts him on the apron! Jimmy UPPERCUTS again! Jimmy climbs, leaps, but Miz gets under! Miz then waistlocks, ripcords, and MOVIE MAKER! Fans boo that blatant parody, but Miz full nelsons! Jimmy drops, victory rolls, TWO! Miz has the cover, TWO! Miz hurries to BASEMENT DDT! Cover, TWO!
The fans rally up as Jimmy survives! Miz stalks Jimmy, the fans rally up more, and Miz fires a KICK! And then another KICK! The fans say “YES! YES! YES!” to the It Kicks, but then Miz winds up. Jimmy ducks the buzzsaw, Miz blocks the superkick, but the DRAGON WHIP connects! Miz rebounds to B-MOVIE KNEE!! Cover, TWO!! The parodies don’t get it done, but Miz still has his original work to fall back on. The fans rally for “UCE! OH! UCE! OH!” Miz runs in, A-LIST LARIAT! Miz shoves Jimmy down, then springboards, but into a SUPERKICK! Jimmy hurries up top, for the USO SPLASH!! Cover, Jimmy wins!
Winner: Jimmy Uso, by pinfall
Miz may be a movie star, but Big Jim’s the one winning this main event! Jimmy then borrows Joe Tessitore’s headset to call out Gunther! He’s coming after dat ass on Monday! Gunther won’t be the ring general, he will be “Private Gunther,” and he will salute Big Jim! Uh, uh, YEET! Will Jimmy be the one making examples out of the World Heavyweight Champion? Or will everything come crashing down when Gunther gets his turn?
Drew McIntyre returns backstage.
And he says hey to Lewis Capaldi, the Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter, and also a big fan of Drew’s. They’re ready to have a good night in the pub, but Jackie Redmond walks over to congratulate him on the win tonight. She was hoping to get some thoughts on that victory and what happened with Orton and Kevin. Drew says it’s alright, this is what happens. He doesn’t care about anybody else’s business, but no one gets away with screwing him over. And when no one meddles in his business, he wins! Drew called out Priest, where is he? Priest doesn’t have the balls! So time to get mad in the pubs, everyone’s invited!
Drew turns the corner, but PRIEST IS THERE! Priest ROCKS Drew, SMACKS him off the door, then throws him into road cases! Priest ROCKS Drew, SMACKS him off the trunk of a car, and then again! Or since it’s London, “the boot.” The driver complains, but Priest BODY SLAMS that guy through a table! Drew comes back to KNEE Priest low, SMACK him off the trunk, and then off the side! They go to the hood, or bonnet for UK. Drew drags Priest up, but Priest CLAWS Drew’s eyes! Priest then sends Drew SOUTH OF HEAVEN through the windshield! Priest tells security that he’s done for now. Any more jokes, Drew? Didn’t think so! RIP, jackass!
Priest leaves, the producers hurry to help Drew, and Drew’s got glass in his eye! Will that glass help Drew see why he shouldn’t piss off the Punisher?
CM Punk heads to gorilla.
He has a security detail with him, and he passes by Drew writhing in pain. Punk chuckles, then continues on. Will his contract signing with Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins be just as brutal? We find out, after the break.
Nick Aldis is in the ring.
The SmackDown General Manager welcomes us back, and says it is his honor and privilege to be here in the O2 in London. Now, we all know why he and this table is here, and why additional security is here tonight. Tonight, we are here to sign a contract for a Triple Threat. Perhaps the biggest Triple Threat in the history of WrestleMania: Seth Rollins VS CM Punk VS Roman Reigns! The fans cheer all those names, and here comes the OTC! London puts the ones up, and Paul Heyman accompanies THE Tribal Chief out on stage. Roman raises his finger to the sky for the pyro, then security follows him to the ring.
SmackDown goes picture in picture as Roman’s entrance continues, and he raises his finger to the sky for the second round of pyro. Roman steps into the ring, SmackDown returns to single picture, and Heyman hands him a mic. The fans sing, “ROMAN! ROMAN REIGNS~!” Roman nods, the fans cheer, and now they chant, “O T C! O T C!” Roman tells London, “ACKNOWLEDGE ME!” The fans cheer again, and again chant, “O T C! O T C!” Roman smiles, but he sees the chairs are not to his liking. Heyman makes sure to put one at the head of the table. Heyman also dusts the chair off while Roman enjoys the singing of, “ROMAN! ROMAN REIGNS~!”
Roman takes a seat and says that was beautiful. The way they sing to their Tribal Chief, it’s just beautiful. The singing continues, and Heyman even joins in! Roman smiles, and he says that is what he’s talking about. That’s the OTC for you, baby! The biggest star on the planet! The OTC came here for two reasons. One: to be acknowledged; check! And two: to sign this contract. Roman does just that, and he says he’s checked both boxes. That means- “BURN IT DOWN!” Seth Rollins interrupts! The fans now sing, “WHOA~ OH~ OHH~!” Rollins struts out in his red wine paisley suit and conducts the O2 Choir all the way into the ring.
The fans cheer while Roman frowns, but Rollins takes the seat to Roman’s left. Rollins offers Heyman a chance to sing to this song, but Heyman frowns. Rollins chuckles, and he says the fans do have beautiful singing voices. He doesn’t know why Roman is in such a hurry to leave, though! This is their building! There’s a lot of history here! 12 years ago, they landed on the roof of this place in a helicopter! They came down those stairs over there, “ready to burn down the old guard!” They put the Undertaker down through the desk, and they were going to remake this company in their image!
Now don’t get him wrong, Rollins knows a lot has happened since then. They fought against each other, with each other, a little bit of love and a whole lot of hate. But Rollins dare says, as the fans continue to sing “WHOA~ OH~ OHH~,” that Rollins and Roman accomplished their mission. The fans start to chant for CM Punk, but Rollins tunes them out. Roman says, “We? We? You keep saying we. Our mission? We died a long time ago. It’s only been ME. You been here, but I done all the work! I’ve made this place what it is today! I took us to the level that we are here today! I made this place better than we found it!
“I’m the one that made us desirable to Netflix! I’m the one that took us into billion-dollar deals! Tell me, what have you done?” Rollins shouts, “I’ll tell you what I’ve done! YOU, YOU, YOU, it’s that mindset that keeps me having to screw you! You understand that? And your biggest mistake is not understanding the danger that’s right in front of us! The danger that’s right in front of you! You let the biggest snake in the world, CM Punk, into the garden! And you could’ve cut his head off at WarGames! But instead, you shook his hand. You could’ve let me finish him inside the cage at The Garden, but you didn’t. And now, I am left to do what I always do: Clean up your mess, again.”
Rollins drops his mic, picks up the pen, and signs his part. And now, here comes CM PUNK! The fans fire up and sing along with Cult of Personality, then join in on saying, “IT’S CLOBBERIN’ TIME~!” Punk goes to the ring, but as he grabs a mic, he goes up a corner, just like he did last Friday. “I have come here to chew bubblegum and sign a contract. And I’m all outta bubblegum.” The fans cheer the Rowdy Roddy Piper reference, and Punk hops down to take his seat on Roman’s right. Punk looks over said contract, but Roman asks if Punk needs a highlighter or something. What’s he doing? Just go to page four, clause five.
Punk does as Roman says, but Roman says Punk needs to hurry, this is precious TV time. Punk reads the segment, Roman tells Heyman to just smarten Punk up. Heyman tells Punk he knows what Punk is looking for. It is in there. They’re closing the show at WrestleMania. The fans go wild hearing that! Heyman tells Punk that he gets to live his dream of dreams. CM Punk will be a WrestleMania main eventer! The fans cheer and while Roman smiles, Rollins is furious. Roman says, “One man’s dream is another man’s favor! CHECK!” Wait, this was the favor? Rollins says no! This is not something to laugh at, and Punk does not get to tear up!
Punk is NOT deserving! He does NOT deserve this! The fans boo but Rollins continues to throw a fit! Main eventing WrestleMania is SACRED, the most important thing in the world to Rollins! More than anything! Except the fact that Punk NEVER gets to main event! This is all Roman’s fault! This is all Heyman’s fault! Rollins THROWS his mic down, paces angrily, but Punk picks up the mic. The fans cheer Punk on again, and Punk stands to thank London, to thank Chicago, to thank Louisville, Kentucky, and to thank ALL the fans. As corny as it sounds, he thanks the WWE Universe who stood by him and chanted his name for TEN LONG YEARS!
Roman says hold on, hold on. Punk shouldn’t be thanking the fans! He should be thanking the Tribal Chief! It is because of Roman that Punk gets this honor! So please, take this moment, close the show with that acknowledgement! Do this the right way. The credits are already rolling as Punk kneels before Roman!? Punk smiles, and he thanks “My Tribal Chief, the holder of the ula fala, the Head of the Table, the… Big Dog? Thank you for allowing a kid from Chicago to be graced by your presence. Thank you, My Tribal Chief, for allowing me to stand in your ring. And thank you so much. Thank you, Roman Reigns, so very much.
“But because of you, I will see you in the main event of WrestleMania.” And again, Rollins is agonizing over this. Punk finishes putting his signature on the contract, and London tells him, “You Deserve It!” Punk thanks Roman again, and then says, “But that’s not the favor that I’m owed.” WHAT?! Roman looks at Heyman and Heyman can’t look him in the eye! If getting this Triple Threat made into the main event isn’t the gift of the Wise Man, then what is?!
My Thoughts:
A good SmackDown, but they pulled off quite the paradox. They made it feel like they were struggling to fill three hours, yet they also filled the show to the point where that contract signing segment was almost bleeding over the three hour mark. Ironically, part of the problem was just how excited the London crowd was for this. The superstars still wanted to enjoy the chants and songs, but that’s time SmackDown doesn’t have to spare. It made the opening promo from Cody, Orton and Drew take longer, and it kinda did the same to the contract signing at the end. Even so, we still got a very good promo, and good stuff to set up Orton VS McIntyre.
Orton VS McIntyre was a great match, but of course Kevin costs Orton. McIntyre gets his win, Kevin and Orton have a bit of a brawl, but of course Kevin ends up on the losing end and runs off. McIntyre’s trash talk also comes back to bite him as Priest gets the better of him in their brawl. Here’s hoping Drew didn’t actually get glass in his eye, but that being the thing in kayfabe can be some good stuff. I can imagine McIntyre with an eyepatch, and he takes it off at the opportune time to get the better of Priest in their match. Also what a fitting choice for Punk to be passing by Drew suffering because of real glass.
Very good title matches tonight, but of course the status quo was kept. Pretty Deadly gets to look great here in London, but the Profits only just got the belts, they’re not going to be transitional champions like that. And Knight VS Braun was really good stuff, but honestly, Jacob Fatu going after them both should’ve been a given. Jacob also had a great promo with Solo & Tama to start adding to that divide between Jacob and Solo. I would hope Solo doesn’t screw Jacob out of the US Championship, but it feels like he will as Solo won’t stand for Jacob defying his authority, even though Solo’s been trying to make Jacob the champion all along.
Very good stuff from Jimmy Uso tonight, from his promo with #MeloDon’tMiz and then a great match with Miz. Their match ended up the de facto main event match, so that’s also great for both guys. Great win for Jimmy, but that’s likely because Jimmy is losing big time to Gunther on Monday. And it might just be me, but it feels like only now is the Jey VS Gunther build really moving, largely in part because Jimmy got involved. Jimmy’s promo after his match is something along the lines of what Jey should be saying. But I suppose as brothers, Jimmy is the one who knows Jey best and knows what Jey needs to be motivated again. And seeing Jimmy get beat up by Gunther will definitely motivate Jey…
Good final vignettes for Rey Fenix and Aleister Black. I’m a little surprised they confirmed Rey Fenix is showing up next week, and that they confirmed who Rey Fenix even is. I believe commentary confirmed Rey Fenix is Penta’s real brother, even namedropped “Lucha Brothers,” but all that is still surprising considering Fenix is going to start on SmackDown. Aleister’s vignette (at least I am fairly confident it’s his) was giving us glimpses of his silhouette, but I think there was usage of AI in the snake imagery. It was fine they did it for El Grande Americano because that is all trolling, but they really should try and do things the old fashioned way of photoshop and stock imagery.
Very good stuff in the Women’s Division tonight, though the WWE Women’s Championship portion was the weaker. Naomi’s got a great Heel persona going, her promo was great, and her going after B-Fab & Michin over them supporting Jade was a great detail. Jade runs Naomi off, helps B-Fab, but there was no helping Michin in being fed to Charlotte. Tiffany had a decent promo, and it does fit how Charlotte kept her from speaking so she finally gets things out here. It didn’t really add that much, though, but they already gave us a great brawl so not sure what more they can give.
KC Squared VS The Secret Her-vice was a very good match, but of course Chelsea made sure her team won. A Six Woman Tag of Zelina & KC Squared VS The Green Administration is certainly coming, to help give us Zelina VS Chelsea for the Women’s US Championship.
My Score: 8.7/10
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Coverage
Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 3.27.2025
Bad news out of the TNA management side, but this is a taped episode from El Paso! So we won’t see any of the fallout just yet!
Now we all heard the news about the TNA change in hierarchy, and I…have no positive outlook on that. Delirious sucked at booking and creative in the dying days of ROH before it got bought as a B show. Dreamer having even more control is concerning because his ideas the last two years haven’t been much better.
Gail leaving makes more sense to me. Be it firing or a “you can’t quit, you’re fired” kind of situation, the Knockouts division is the worst it’s been in a long time and Gail was close with Scott D’Amore. So I don’t think Gail parting ways is as big of a problem since TNA has slowly been bleeding out with the Scott faithful.
Granted, I think the next few shows were already taped before the firing so things shouldn’t be completely unwatchable for at least a week or two. So let’s see where we’re going.
.@WeAreRosemary sends @XiaBrookside a CHILLING message!
WATCH #TNAiMPACT on TNA+: https://t.co/LaVxF6l2yc pic.twitter.com/srciTTbel0
— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) March 28, 2025
Ratings:
- Gigi Dolin & Tatum Paxley vs Elegance Clique w/Personal Concierge: Ash wins via Rarefied Air – ** 1/4
- Fir$t Cla$$ & Frankie Kazarian vs Laredo Kid, Octagon Jr & Chavo Guerrero Jr: Chavo wins via Gory Bomb into Frog Splash – *** 1/4
- Jacy Jayne vs Masha Slamovich: Masha wins via Russian Death Device – ***
- Eric Young w/two losers vs Ace Austin: Eric wins via Piledriver – ** 1/2
- Seto & Mokuba – I mean – Nic Nemeth w/Ryan Nemeth vs Leon Slater: Nic wins via Danger Zone – *** 1/4
Results:
Gigi Dolin & Tatum Paxley vs Elegance Clique w/Personal Concierge
Ash and Gigi start off, Gigi with a little Rascalz after her first takedown. So both her and Wentz are making it obvious something’s going on between them, and I’m not mad at it. Good for my man Wentz.
Tatum and Gigi get some quick tandem offense in, Ash does manage to scurry off to a tag and Heather gets bent into a Pretzel. Some kind of Inverted Tarantula from Tatum, Gigi tags in, Bronco Buster on Heather followed by Kawada Kicks. Heather sells against the ropes, Gigi goes for a Hesitation Dropkick, but Concierge pulls her away so Gigi crashes and burns. Ref is distracted, Ash gets in some cheap shots and then the Elegant duo starts working over Gigi. A few quick tags, but once Heather comes in, Gigi fights out of the corner, gets the hot tag to Tatum. Tatum stacks up both Elegance members, Corner Stacked Crossbody, Butterfly Suplex and an Elbow Drop with some some flare. Tatum goes to the top rope, Heather pulls Gigi off the apron, Concierge shoves Tatum off the turnbuckle and Ash hits Rarefied Air for the win.
Post match the Elegance Clique wants to make their wish with the cake, they light the candles and Tatum and Gigi recover enough to do what we all expected last week, the cake in the face spot. Some…suggestive licking from both of our Hot Topic Hotties, so…no complaints here.
.@Ashamae_Sebera, @Heathereckless and @IamGeorgeIceman are having a meltdown!
WATCH #TNAiMPACT on TNA+: https://t.co/LaVxF6l2yc pic.twitter.com/FnKwPqm2ff
— TNA Wrestling (@ThisIsTNA) March 28, 2025
Fir$t Cla$$ & Frankie Kazarian vs Laredo Kid, Octagon Jr & Chavo Guerrero Jr
Chavo and Kaz start since he’s King Petty, a quick rope run turns into a Headscissor from Chavo. Kaz recovers, they lock up, Kaz hits the Knee Lift during the lock up to tag out to KC. KC pulls off some athletic dodges, gloats a bit so Chavo waits, measures and nails a gorgeous Dropkick. Laredo comes in on fire, quick high spots that send KC bouncing around like HBK against Hulk. KC powders after sells the Satellite Takedown, AJ checks on him and we go to commercial.
Back from commercial, Octagon is lighting up KC’s chest with overhand chops, he perches, Sunset Headscissor Flip from corner to corner, KC tries to Back Drop him but Octagon does a headstand, kicks KC away and lays him out with a high spot. AJ gets on the apron to stop Octagon from running the ropes, the referee has a stroke or something because he stops paying attention and AJ pulls Octagon out of the ring and chucks him. KC with the Tope con Hilo and tag (tag ropes haven’t mattered since the 80s we all know this). So AJ is getting taunted by the crowd in Spanish, but he’s manhandling Octagon since it looks like a Child fighting their parent. AJ knocks off Chavo and Laredo, Laredo pops up and tries to get involved but he’s caught on the shoulders, Octagon goes for the Crossbody but gets caught and AJ pulls off “World’s Strongest Wasteland” but Chavo breaks up the pinfall. AJ throws Octagon into the corner, Tennessee Whiskey, and tag out to KC. KC hits a few moves, but starts to lose the momentum until he connects with a Super Kick. Simultaneous rope run into the Dueling Crossbodies, so we get the timely tag outs from both sides. Kaz and Laredo come in, Laredo lands like two moves before Kaz hits a Sole Butt, Lariat and eats his lunch. KC and Kaz try to double team Laredo but he fights out and the crowd is chanting for Chavo.
Chavo tags in, and he’s rocking KC, Saito Suplex, Low Bridge to AJ, Reverse the Whip so Chavo goes to the corner and perches, KC feeds, Chavo Backflips to safety, rolls through and lays out KC. Chavo is feeling himself, 3 Amigos start on KC but only 2, Kaz comes in and Chavo switches to Kaz for the Amigos, only 2 again before AJ breaks it up. AJ goes for the disrespect, but Chavo counters and hits the 3 Amigos on the biggest Culero. Aztec Warriors dive to stop AJ and Kaz, KC tries a Dirty Victory Roll but Chavo kicks out. GORY BOMB into FROG SPLASH!
Chavo looked fantastic and he’s the one in the best shape in the ring. I wouldn’t be mad at more Chavito.
Jacy Jayne vs Masha Slamovich
I expect very little from this match.
Collar and Elbow, gator rolling for the first 30 seconds or so, then Jacy goes to some Hair Pull takedowns and does a little taunt before Masha pops back up and hits a Lariat into a Dive. Jacy sells it like she’s really hurt, even the ref tries to hold Masha back a little before Masha gets annoyed and just grabs her, Masha throws her in, looks for a Dive and Jacy sees it and powders. Masha tries to go back to the well for the Dive again but Jacy hits the Uppercut and then an Apron Run PK to drop Masha. Forearms rain down into a Foot Choke as Jacy continues to arrogantly play to the crowd. Another Foot Choke into a Cannonball, and near fall.
Masha gets space with a Sole Butt, tries to snap off Requiem but Jacy fights off, fights through a Sunset Flip another effective PK keeps Masha on her ass. Jacy looks for a kinda half-assed Camel Clutch as Masha is fighting up, but Jacy runs her into the corner, gets distracted mouthing off to the crowd, so Masha recovers, 5 Hole Up Kick sends Jacy into the corner, Yakuza Kick into Capo Kick for two. Requiem attempt again, but Jacy pushes off, a little back and forth, Masha tries a Backslide but Jacy gets away and hits a V-Trigger but only a 2 count. Jacy looks for the Discus Punch but Masha ducks it, they strike back and forth, but some dodges from both leave the exchange more even. Jacy with the Front Kick to the face sends Masha to the outside. Jacy wants another PK, but Masha blocks, Electric Chair Apron Snake Eyes. Masha throws her in, a PK into a near all. Requiem attempt 3, and thwarted from Jacy with a Superkick into a Neckbreaker. Senton misses from Jacy, Buzzsaw Kick, into Spinning Back Kick and Russian Death Device for the win.
Better than I expected, and Tessa attacks as soon as the bell rings. Xia Brookside and Lei Ying Li make the save after Tessa grabs the belt.
Eric Young w/two losers vs Ace Austin
Ace and Eric tie up, World of Sport start but as soon as Ace starts to get away EY punches him in the face. Eric looks at the camera and says “This is what trust looks like”, turns his back on Ace, when Ace looks to attack, the loser duo cut him off. EY takes advantage of the weird situation, but Ace with some Up and Over quick spots, into an Inside Cradle and La Magistral. EY kicks out of the quick flash attempts, but eats a Dropkick, and Ace goes all Speed Kils on him with fast strikes and then a face buster for another near fall. Strike spot very early in the match, Ace gets the best of it, goes for a Tear Drop Suplex but EY sits on it to block, Headlocks to keep him close and then a snap Lariat into beatdown bully tactics. EY takes the referee’s attention and one of the nerds punch Ace in the face.
Eric tries to lean on Ace, but Ace fires, a few strikes, Click Click Boom, the Miz Seated Lariats in the corner, Mochizuki Triangle Kick connects! Only a 2 count, but Ace seems to be in control. Ace puts EY on the ropes, a few strikes to keep him rocked, wants a Superplex, but EY blocks, bites the face and Macho Elbow gets a very close two count. EY tries the Piledriver but Ace turns it into a Jacknife Cradle,Spinning Heel Kick, calls for The Fold, but the losers hop on the apron to distract, Ace attacks them. Ace tries to time out the Triangle Kick again, but Eric dodges, throws Ace head first through the buckles. As Ace stumbles out of the corner, Piledriver, and it’s over.
Oh look it’s the “we’ll hear from Joe Hendry” segment. Again, I’ve loved this gimmick since Day 1, even didn’t hate his What Culture Pro stuff, but there is such a thing as milking a cow too much.
Elijah interrupts the whole “Who’s next” speech. When Elijah comes out he says he’s not the challenger and he believes in Joe. The crowd wants Elijah to turn on Hendry. Elijah pauses for a moment, and starts proving his friendship with stating his favorite color and a little “You Got a Friend in Me”. The crowd is into singing along and waving their cameras like Lighters to a 30 year old song. THANKFULLY Kaz breaks up the hug fest. Now he gets the “Culero” chant.
Kaz pulls out a Bass…what the hell is this Jam Session. Kaz has to warm up so he plays “La Cucaracha” on the bass. Kaz…is a national treasure. Hendry kicks Kaz out of the ring after his Heelish and playfully racially charged song choices. Kaz tries to sow dissension, but Joe and Elijah pinball Kaz between them. Kaz slips a power move and tries to shove Elijah into Joe but Elijah puts the brakes on, a small tense moment. But then Joe and Elijah play “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey, Goodbye”…and that goes right into a commercial. Oddly…perfect.
Nic Nemeth w/Ryan Nemeth vs Leon Slater
Nic shoots the half immediately for a flash pinfall but Leon kicks out at one. Nic continues to keep things grounded with his amateur wrestling skills, and then does a little Dolph Ziggler show off. So Nic isn’t really taking this seriously, and Leon starts getting the best of things with an Arm Wringer, into drag, Shoulder Tackle and rope run as Nic tries to Leap Frog and Leon puts on the brakes and just shoves Nic on his ass. Nic gets annoyed, a few strikes, grinds his face along the ropes, but Leon keeps stringing some offense together, Back Handspring Elbow into his Corner con Hilo.
Ahh the classic formula of the commercial gives the heel the advantage, Twisting Suplex from Leon stops Nic’s offense momentum, right hand, Leon lifts Nic up for something, Nic slips it, kicks him in the gut, looks for the FameAsser, but Leon catches him into a Blue Thunder Bomb variation. Slater wants the Swanton 450, but Nic powders. Leon tries to adjust into a Dive, but Nic cuts him off, counter for counter and a FameAsser out of the counters for a two count. Nic starts the big brother tactics, bootwashes and arrogance, Slater fires, punches into a Yakuza Kick. Leon wants another Lethal Injection variant, but Nic catches him into a Rear Naked Choke. Slater tries to turn it into a pin so Nic breaks it. Leon wants a Leg Lariat but misses and gets unceremoniously dropped by Nic. Nic puts Leon up on the buckles, Superplex possibly but Slater counters, tries to collect himself for a move, but Nic falls into the ropes to crotch Leon, and finally hits the Superplex.
Twist of Slate from Leon, Swanton 450 but knees get up. Locomotion Cradles from both but they kick out, Ryan picks the ankle to trip up Leon just a touch and then Danger Zone ends the match.
Ryan starts the post match beatdown, but the Hardy’s music hits and they come down to the ring for the save. Matt challenges the Nemeths for Rebellion because they’re not medically cleared yet.
Overall Score: 6.5/10
Decent story motion, no match was offensive, and there was actually some solid match action for television standards. I don’t have a ton to complain about aside from the Knockouts Division is in a weird spot, and giving Hendry a lot of just talking and hollow payoff segments feels stupid. If we need to hear from him every week, give him a talk segment like Highlight Reel or something. Yes I know First Class just got The Penthouse, but if Hendry is going to talk more than wrestle, give him a talk segment for us to sink our teeth into.
There was the announcement that Xia, Lei Ying and Masha will face Tessa, Jacy and a mystery partner. So you gotta wonder if there’s going to be another NXT mercenary, a surprise return or if it’ll just be Rosemary since she’s got her issues with Xia. Also I just realized that Unbreakable is going to be on a Thursday, seemingly after iMPACT? I’m gonna have to see how they do it, because if there’s an Impact episode and 2-3 hour PLE…I do not want to be awake until 1am. People need to work, and I will be Unwakeable if things go that long.
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