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Mitchell’s WWE Monday Night Raw Report! (11/27/17)

Published

7 years ago

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All images courtesy of the WWE’s official Twitter

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Seth Rollins VS Cesaro; Rollins wins.
  • Samoa Joe VS Titus O’Neil w/ Apollo Crews; Joe wins.
  • Six Woman Tag: Bayley, Sasha Banks & Mickie James VS Paige, Sonya Deville & Mandy Rose; no contest.
  • Bray Wyatt VS Matt Hardy; Wyatt wins.
  • Cruiserweight Fatal 4 Way: Noam Dar VS Rich Swann VS Akira Tozawa VS Ariya Daivari; Swann wins and qualifies for a Cruiserweight Championship #1 Contender’s match.
  • WWE Intercontinental Championship Open Challenge: Roman Reigns VS Elias; Reigns wins and retains the IC Championship.
  • Asuka VS Dana Brooke; Asuka wins.
  • Jason Jordan VS Kane; Kane wins via count-out.
  • Kane VS Finn Balor; Finn wins by disqualification.

PLAY BY PLAY

The Big Red Machine has targeted the Monster Among Men.

Kane heard talk of Braun Strowman’s strength but was not impressed, so Kane did his damnedest to destroy Strowman for good. But even that was not enough. Strowman returned to powerslam Kane through the ring. However, Strowman didn’t realize Kane himself was more than man, and Kane unleashed on Strowman with a chair, and worst of all, jamming that chair into the windpipe of the Monster. Strowman refused medical assistance, but does he have a chance to recover? Is Kane truly “Raw’s Only Monster”?!

 

Roman Reigns comes to the ring!

The University of Tennessee has a mixed reaction for the WWE Intercontinental Champion as he comes to make this arena His Yard. Roman won that illustrious title last week on Raw, even with The Bar trying to help The Miz, but his brothers in The Shield took care of them. Now Roman is the 16th Grand Slam Champion, but he’s still looking for competition. That mixed reaction continues as Roman speaks on his big week. Shield reunion, a Survivor Series win over The New Day, and then Roman got an opportunity. The fans on Roman’s side believe “You Deserve It!” and he appreciates them for saying that. The new IC Champion knows Miz cried and ran his mouth, but just watch what happened after Raw went off the air. The Miz said he was awesome as always, but then got decked and wrecked by The Shield! Triple Powerbomb on the announce desk! Miz is going to be gone for awhile, but you’ll still get to see the Intercontinental Championship. It is a prestigious title, Roman will make it that by being a fighting champion. This is His Yard and that is His Title, so just step into the Yard to try and take it. The Miz’s theme hits, but it is the Miztourage that arrives. “How dare you disrespect the Most Must-See Intercontinental Champion of All Time!” The only thing worse than Curt Axel’s neck pain is the heartache. But they’re in no shape to correct this injustice. So they got someone who can. Elias?! Hold your applause, he’ll still perform later tonight, but right now, Elias is standing up for “a good guy” in The Miz. The Drifter is here to guide the Miztourage and ignite their fire. So tonight, Elias is going to take that championship. Sounds like Elias wants to walk with the Big Dog, so the Big Dog accepts. But before then, look at Curt Axel. Can you sing with a neck brace? Because you’ll probably end up in one. Can the Drifter make it out of The Yard in one piece?

 

Seth Rollins VS Cesaro!

The Big Dog may have a match later tonight, but his brothers in arms have one right now as The Architect goes 1v1 with the Swiss Cyborg! The bell rings, Cesaro is finishing up putting his gear away, fans are strongly on the side of Rollins. They tie up, waistlock, Cesaro gets out with a wristlock, Rollins spins and reverses to a hammerlock. Cesaro works on a counter, getting his own hammerlock, Rollins endures as Cesaro trash talks. Rollins rolls and spins into a wristlock of his own, Cesaro kicks and stomps him down. Rollins is clubbed against the ropes then whipped, but Rollins dodges and hits Cesaro with a crossbody and fast hands. Chop for Cesaro, then body shots and stomps, the referee backs Rollins off. Rollins  returns to chop Cesaro again, then another, but Cesaro powers him to ropes. Ropebreak isn’t clean as Rollins counters Cesaro’s cheap shot, but that turns into another dirty ropebreak where Cesaro kicks low to then suplex and hang Rollins up. Rollins tumbles down and out, Cesaro is in control as we go to break.

Upon returning, Cesaro has Rollisn in an abdominal stretch. Rollins reaches for ropes as he endures the stretch, fans cheering him on. He pries his way out instead, but that leaves him open to a hard knee to the gut, Cesaro covers, TWO. Knee drops rain down from Cesaro, Rollins gets to a corner for safety. Cesaro waits for Rollins to get up, shoulder tackle to the stomach and then Cesaro shovels Rollins up top. Another body shot before Cesaro climbs up, Rollins resists the gut wrench, then elbows a leg out from under Cesaro to bring him down. Rollins adjusts, takes aim, flies, but is caught into a tilt-o-whirl backbreaker!

TWO, another quick cover, TWO, Cesaro is getting frustrated. He glares at Rollins as he stalks the Architect to ropes, then stomps away before yanking him to the center. Cover, TWO, Cesaro puts on a rear bearhug. Fans rally for Rollins again, Rollins gets up, he gives elbows to get out of the bearhug but Cesaro blocks that suplex, stiff forearm to the back and then a back suplex, cover, TWO. Cesaro is getting frustrated, he gives a heavy elbow drop and then toys with Rollins. Rollins hits back, then climbs up only for Cesaro to give him a headbutt to the ribs. Whip, spin around, but it’s Rollins who gets the stretch! Cesaro powers out with a hip toss, but Rollins responds with an elbow and boot. Rollins hops up, jumping blockbuster!

Both men down from exhaustion and sore bodies, fans keep rallying for Rollins. Rollins fires off strikes, a mule kick, but is then put on the apron. Cesaro goes to shoulder him off but gets a guillotine legdrop! Rollins in the ring as Cesaro is outside, Rollins builds speed and DIVES! Direct hit sends Cesaro right into barriers, but both men down again as we take one more break.

Back again, Falcon Arrow from Rollins to Cesaro, TWO! Rollins and Cesaro are slowly stirring, Rollins is up first and gets fans rallying. He grabs Cesaro, Cesaro elbows him away, whip into a corner but the ref is there, so Rollins slams on the brakes. Poke to the eye from Cesaro and then a roll-up, TWO! Cesaro is shocked but won’t stop, he trips up and starts swinging Rollins, transition into Sharpshooter!

Rollins endures the legendary submission, Cesaro has it in deep. Rollins endures but powers his way over to ropes, ropebreak! Cesaro lets go but rains down rights, then drags Rollins up into position, but Rollins fights his way out, back drop but roll-through, mule kick! Cover, TWO! Both men stir as fans rally again. They brawl on their knees, European Uppercuts from Cesaro rocking Rollins. Rollins gets back up, counters the third into a backslide, TWO, Cesaro runs, springboard into SUPERKICK and KINGSLAYER! Rollins wins a hard-fought match! Once their tag team partners return, will The Shield defeat The Bar once and for all?

In-ring interview with Rollins.

With the other members doing other things, is this the end of the Shield already? “Oh hell no, Charli!” Rollins is solo because Ambrose finally gets to have his honeymoon. Rollins wants to check in on him, hasn’t heard from Ambrose since last week. Wait, maybe Renee put the room under her credit card… Charli knows her, she might know, right? Well, whatever, Roman being a solo champion won’t separate the Shield but making them stronger! Roman being IC Champ inspires the others to be Raw Tag Team Champions again. And speaking for Ambrose, Rollins wants to invoke that rematch clause next week! Time to burn The Bar down and strengthen the Shield by having them all become champions!

 

Kurt Angle sorts out the Cruiserweight Division’s Certified Dilemma.

In Rich Swann’s words, “The ‘Zo Train has gone off the tracks.” A what? Enzo’s stable. He has the title, and those “circus freaks” are keeping anyone else form getting near it. These guys just want a chance. Angle has a solution. Enzo isn’t a shot-caller, Angle is, and it is time to determine a #1 contender. In three weeks, we will know, because tonight starts a set of Fatal 4 Way matches. The winners of those matches face each other to then become the #1 contender to the Cruiserweight Championship. The Division accepts this, who will come out of the double Fatal 4’s to become the one?!

 

Samoa Joe VS Titus O’Neil w/ Apollo Crews!

It was roughly a month ago on Raw that The Destroyer put the Titus Worldwide client and manager to sleep with his Coquina Clutch, and then just decimated Titus and Apollo the week after. This is a chance at retribution, can “Real Deal O’Neil” #MakeItAWin? At the bell, Titus goes right at Samoa Joe with stomps and body shots, Joe keeping up his guard to then get a headbutt in. Joe turns things around, sleeper on but Titus powers out. Stiff body shot from Titus, he keeps on Joe in the corners. Joe guards again, then spins it around for the back elbow and PELE! Apollo tries to coach Titus into the match, Joe just jabs him again and again. Stiff forearm from Joe to Titus, Titus gives back a chop, so Joe gives one, chops and forearms back and forth! The ref backs Joe down after a throat chop, Joe keeps on Titus with body shots. Titus puts Joe in a corner, more body shots and haymakers now. Titus clubs away on Joe, a stiff slap just wakes Joe up! Titus throws and boots Joe, cover, TWO. Joe is put in a corner again, Titus won’t be bullied as he mugs Joe. The ref backs Titus down, stiff right from Joe and then elbow after elbow before the full Coquina Clutch. Titus taps, Joe wins!

Titus did all he could, but The Destroyer is still too tough. Apollo steps in to back Joe off, they start brawling, Joe ducks an enziguri to put Apollo in the Coquina Clutch! Apollo goes to sleep again, has Joe just dismantled Titus Worldwide single-handedly?

Six Woman Tag: Bayley, Sasha Banks & Mickie James VS Paige, Sonya Deville & Mandy Rose!

After the #RamPaige the returning Glampire and her new friends committed on last week’s Raw, it is time for them to do things upfront against The Huggable One, The Boss and Kickie James. Raw Women’s Champion, Alexa Bliss, joins commentary to watch what happens to her assailants, will The Goddess be satisfied with tonight’s results?

Sasha appears, but… where are Mickie and Bayley? Whatever reason for them not coming out, Paige and her team are all here as they enter together.

Good to see you, Sasha, you look great considering what happened last week. But even she has to wonder, where are her friends? Mandy, Sonya, did you do something? Oh yeah they did! Mickie is down with a bad ankle, And Bayley is down with a bad neck! So this is a handicap tag? Well while they’ve got time, Paige needs to vent about the hounding on social media and in real life to explain her actions. She has a good reason why: one year ago, she was THE WOMAN in WWE to erase “Diva” from the dictionary. She was the Matriarch of the Women’s Evolution. This is her making a statement, because guess what? “I’m back~!” Sasha is alone as Paige and friends storm the ring, because Alexa Bliss ran away.

Proper introductions to “Absolution.” Sonya Deville and Mandy Rose. Before there was a Boss, or the Four Horsewomen, or even a Goddess or Empress, there was Paige. Mandy and Sonya never forgot. Every woman has pushed the competition, the envelope, and the game. But fact is, no one would’ve been where they were without Paige, which is why they’ve allied with her. Together, Absolution will absolutely change the Revolution. So the question is, is Sasha gonna end up like the others? Or is she going to be smart and #PledgeYourAllegiance to them? The fans boo and jeer, but the clock is ticking. Is she with them? Or against them? Sasha strikes Paige! Sonya and Mandy are right on her! Hammering fists and knees, then they hold Sasha up for Paige, but Ssaha still fights out! It’s 3v1, “This is MY House!” Paige wants them to finish Sasha, Sonya shows her stiff kick to Sasha’s head! Then Mandy gets her turn, butterfly facebuster! And to top it off, RamPaige DDT! With this trio working together, can anyone stop Absolution from taking over?

 

Bray Wyatt speaks.

The Eater of Worlds has returned to Raw. What does the Face of Fear have planned?

Bray Wyatt VS Matt Hardy!

“I never had a childhood.” Bray never celebrated holidays, carved turkeys or even cared. But not the WWE Universe, they care, carve, and celebrate just like “they” want you to. Try to keep up, but the entire world “exists within the confines of a cardboard box.” Quite pathetic, really. Bray tried to free us, but you’ve never listened! So now the world’s ignorance and suffering fuel and delight him. For Bray’s eyes are wide open and can see the world for what it truly is: “you’re all dead.” Bray goes on and on about this until his opponent comes out!

Matt may be without his brother, but he won’t take the words Bray is spewing lying down!

This match started over the commercial break but as we return, it is Bray in control of Hardy with a cravat. Bray adds on headbutts but Hardy feeds off the fans rallying to fight back. Bray whips, Hardy ducks, big body check from Bray runs Hardy over! Hardy gasps for air as he gets up, Bray is upon him with a stiff uppercut. Bray goes corner to corner, big corner splash crushes Hardy. He topples down while Bray stands over him, Bray runs but Matt dodges the back senton. Both men down, fans rally again, Bray is up, followed by Haryd. Hardy throws hands to back Bray down, forearms as well, cofrenr to corner whip revesrsed. Matt dodges and then clotheslines once, twice, bulldog hits! Hardy calls for going up, climbs up, takes aim as fans fire up, elbow drop coutnered but then Hardy fights out, Side Effect! Cover, TWO, but Hardy isn’t slowing down. Hardy calls for the Twist but Bray powers out. Hardy elbows Bray away, then boots, Hardy throws Bray down by his hair before climbing up again. Moonsault flops! Both men down but stirring, Bray uses his spider-walk to get up and creep over to Hardy. He brings Hardy up, goodnight kiss before Sister Abigail! Wyatt wins, and is all smiles.

Our suffering is his pleasure, will the Eater of Worlds continue to enjoy himself on Raw? As for Hardy, he has the fans behind him, but what can he do to turn his losing streak around? “DELETE! DELETE! DELETE!” Is this a sign of things to come?

 

Jason Jordan and Kurt Angle discuss what Kane did to Braun Strowman.

A real shame because The Gold-Blooded Son wanted at teh Monster Among Men. Angle wonders about that, JJ’s leg buckled on him. Not him, too. Everyone thinks JJ was using his leg as an excuse. JJ is fine, he wants an opportunity! He’ll go after Kane, that’ll show everyone. In that case, Angle will make that happen! Is Jordan getting in over his head, again?

 

Cruiserweight Fatal 4 Way: Noam Dar VS Rich Swann VS Akira Tozawa VS Ariya Daivari!

As Angle explained earlier, one of these four men will move on to face the winner of another Fatal 4 Way to find a #1 contender! The bell rings, and the Stamina Monster starts up the “AH! AH! AH!” battle cry. He, the Outlandish One, the Scottish Supernova and the Privileged Persian approach each other tentatively but Daivari goes after Tozawa while Dar goes after Swann in corners. Mudholes and a rain of right hands, the ‘Zo Train is working together but so is the Anti-Amore Alliance. Daivari trash talks in Farsi, then a stiff chop followed by another. Double whip, Tozawa ducks, Swann comes back and Daivari and Dar are sent out. Tozawa and Swann are alone, so they try 1v1, but are even in agility as Swann front flips but jackknife, popped to a sunset flip, TWO, roll-up, TWO.

Enzo is watching and is annoyed, Tozawa is on the apron but mule kicks Dar away. He also forearms Swann away but Daivari trips him up, Swann builds speed and FLIES! Huge crash and burn for all four men, Enzo is liking that a bit better. Swann gets up and gets Dar in, Dar rolls out but Swann pursues to chop sharply. Swann won’t let up, another stiff chop! The fans are fired up as they return to the ring, Swann stomps and chops Dar again. Daivari throws Tozawa into a corner, Dar gets back on Swann. Dar whips but is reversed, Swann dropkicks Dar down. Daviari returns to SPINEBUSTER Swann out of the Rolling Thunder, TWO! ‘Zo Train regroups to beat up Tozawa, “Choo choo~!” They drag Tozawa up and beat him down, stiff double whip corner to corner. Swann fights back but is sent down and out, Daivari keeps on Swann but needs help from Dar. They go for and hit a double suplex on Swann as we go to break.

We’re back as Tozawa fights against The ‘Zo Train, but it is still 2v1 so they take control. Double whip but Daivari takes a running boot, Dar is alone as he is reversed, sunset flip rolled through for Penalty Kick, back senton on Daivari! Tozawa has the fans cheering “AH! AH! AH!” as he heads to a corner and climbs up. Dar trips him up, climbs up but is knocked down, so Daivari comes back, only to be knocked down as well. Dar returns, climbs up again, Daivari joins in, and they both have Tozawa on the top rope, but then Swann outta nowhere, TOWER OF DOOM! Swann covers Tozawa who took the worst of it, TWO! Enzo is freaking out that his boys can’t finish the “schmucks”. Swann drags Daivari into position as fans rally, but Daivari revives to take a mule kick! Swann still climbs, Dar trips him up. Tozawa boots Dar! “AH! AH! AH!” as he builds speed, Tozawa Torpedo! Direct hit, but Daivari with the Persian Lion Splash, TWO! Shining Wizard to Daivari from Tozawa, Tozawa wants one more chance on the top rope. He takes aim, and… DROP ZONE BACK SENTON! Only for Dar to toss Tozawa into post! He covers Daivari, Swann breaks it up! Swann is thrown out now, Dar rolls Tozawa, TWO! Dar is frustrated but he won’t slow down, he takes aim at Tozawa and runs, Nova Rolla enziguri! Swann drags Tozawa out before Dar can cover, then gives Dar a stiff roundhouse. Dar in position, Swann up again, Phoenix Splash! Swann wins and moves on to the #1 contender’s match! Can the Outlandish One find his way back to the Cruiserweight Championship?

 

“Ladies and Gentlemen, Elias.”

As promised, The Drifter has a performance for Tennessee, and a song dedicated to The Miz. So please silence your phones, hold your applause and shut your mouths! Or else he won’t sing his song for Miz. Yay~! No, wait, he deserves to hear this. Elias begins, “Since Miz has been gone~, Miztourage hasn’t slept.” The boos and jeers make Elias stop. Gotta start over! “I can’t even count, the tears that they’ve wept. The Miztourage Blues~, the Miztourage Blues. So follow Elias, and I’ve got you.” Boo…! Elias is usually a one man show but he has something special tonight. Introducing The Miztourage’s Bo and Axel from the shadows, they have harmonicas!

Bo and Axel play, a regular jam session for Tennessee’s Volunteers. Take a bow, Bo and Axel! Now you may applaud, fans. They don’t.

The fans want Roman! Elias does, too! Miztourage, you’re excused, and everyone else, sit down! Tune in to this one, because that title is gonna walk with Elias!

WWE Intercontinental Championship Open Challenge: Roman Reigns VS Elias!

Raw opened with The Big Dog giving out an opportunity, to which the Drifter answered on behalf of the Miztourage, can Elias get out of the The Yard with that prestigious championship? The bell rings, they tie up, headlock but Roman slips right out. They circle, fans duel on whether or not “Roman Sucks!” The two men tie up again, Roman gets a headlock on Elias, Elias fights out and powers out, Roman runs him over, ONE. Roman is ready as Elias gets to his feet, the two tie up again and Roman gets a headlock but Elias puts him in a corner. Dirty break with those body shots, the ref backs him down, Roman rocks Elias with uppercuts and haymakers. Whip reversed, big knee rocks Roman back, cover, ONE. Elias stays on Roman by ramming him shoulder-first into a post. Another cover, TWO, Elias is getting annoyed with Roman as he puts him in a chinlock. The fans rally as Elias thrashes, Roman endures, Elias fish-hooks the mouth as he rams in knees to Roman’s back. Roman works to get up as fans start rallying, Roman gives back body shots and runs, but right into Elias’ lariat! TWO, Elias stays on Roman with another chinlock. Roman is brought to the mat, Elias wrenches deep. Fans keep up the rallying, Roman gets up and powers Elias to a corner. Elias holds on so Roman rams in again, Roman is free and starts rallying with clotheslines. Whip reversed but Roman comes back to run Elias over. Elias is in a corner, Roman gives him close-range clotheslines! Bo gets on the apron, gets rocked with an uppercut! Axel distracts from the far side, Elias hits a running knee! TWO, Elias is frustrated but in control as we go to break.

We’re back as Roman is back in a chinlock, fans are dueling as he works to get up again. Roman fights otu but Elias knees low, whip but Roman holds ropes to elbow Elias back. Then a boot out of a corner, but Elias wraps on a headlock. Roman powers Elias off and out of the ring, then Roman follows for the Drive-By dropkick on the apron! He puts Elias back in, Bo starts barking and gets a SUPERMAN PUNCH! Axel begs for mercy, Roman SPEARS Axel down!

Elias pounces, putting Roman into a post face-first, and then barriers before going into the ring. Elias climbs up, takes aim, big elbow! TWO, and Elias is shocked and frustrated. The Drifter drags the Big Dog up, Roman spins around for the fireman’s carry but Elias slips down and shoves Roman into buckles. Elias shovels Roman up onto his shoulders, spin around for the sit-out powerbomb!

TWO!! So close yet so far, Elias is running out of ideas. The fans know “This is awesome!” as Elias drags Roman up again. Roman is dead weight right now, Elias keeps trying. Frustration boils over, Elias uses all his power but Roman small package surprise, TWO, stiff right elbow from Elias. Elias runs, SUPERMAN PUNCH, TWO! Roman is now the one surprised, both men crawl to opposite ends. Roman fires himself up, as do his fans. The battle cry, Roman runs but into Elias’ knee, Roman runs with Elias, SPEAR! Roman wins and retains! The Big Dog is still your WWE Intercontinental Champion after a surprisingly competitive match, will things get tougher from here?

It will with SAMOA JOE putting on a Coquina Clutch outta nowhere!! The Destroyer says this is the Big Dog’s future! Referees rush the ramp to pry Joe off, as does security, but Roman is out cold. Joe says he’s coming for Roman and that title, then rains down right hands! It takes all security has to get Joe to leave, is Roman’s reign already over?

 

Asuka VS Dana Brooke!

The Empress of Tomorrow, still undefeated since debuting in NXT almost two years ago, is here to remind everyone watching Raw that #NobodyisReadyforAsuka! Brooke says Asuka is a “slow-starter”, she is gonna get a jump on her, so better not blink. The bell rings, Brooke rushes Asuka, ends up in an armbar! Brooke taps, Asuka wins FAST!

So much for slow-starter… If Asuka can do it that fast, who can ever hope to defeat her? Well, Absolution wants something to do with her, as they head right to the ring. Paige, Sonya and Mandy flank Asuka like they did Sasha, and as tension mounts… Absolution backs down? They’re all smiling, as is Asuka. Paige lets Asuka go, what does this mean!?

 

Jason Jordan VS Kane!

The Gold-Blooded Son is really blurring the lines of boldness and recklessness, is he going to survive The Big Red Machine? JJ speaks on the social media speculation about that knee of his. A lot of doubters think JJ is just using it as an excuse, but he’s here to set the record straight. He is a professional, he knows his body, he knows his limits. Last week, he slipped out and felt a pop, so he had to quit. Thanks to WWE’s world class medical staff and some rehab, he’s back to 100% and ready to do what Braun Strowman can’t, and that’s shut Kane down.

Kane arrives, the bell rings, he and JJ circle around but Kane is too strong for JJ to take down. JJ gets a waistlock but can’t suplex Kane, Kane elbows and whips JJ to a corner. JJ jumps out of the corner to hit Kane with a flying ax handle, then powers Kane up for a shoulder tackle in a corner. JJ does it again, corner to corner! He’s all fired up as he runs in at Kane, big shoulder tackle, but Kane blocks the overhead t othen rock JJ with an uppercut. JJ thrown right out and hard on his bad knee! Doesn’t seem 100% anymore as JJ writhes on the ground. A ring count begins, gets very high as JJ tries to walk, but he can’t get in the ring in time, Kane wins via count-out. JJ finally does get in the ring, and brawls with Kane, only to get booted right down. Kane drags him up and throws him out again, landing on the bad knee a second time. Kane comes out to stalk the wounded Jordan, big lariat runs him right over. Not done there, JJ is put into barriers and then into the ring, Kane goes right at that bad leg with a chopblock! And a knee smash on top before stomping away. Another knee smash, Kane is torturing JJ, until Finn Balor appears! The Extraordinary Man has been waiting for his retribution on Kane, is this the time?

Kane VS Finn Balor!

We come into this match as it begins, Finn kicks away at Kane’s legs. Kane grabs Finn by the throat, Finn slips out, dropkicks a leg out. Finn dropkicks Kane again, but then gets clobbered by a clothesline. Kane drags Finn up, whips him to a corner hard, then stomps on Finn before giving him that signature uppercut. Fans cheer Finn on even as Kane keeps on him in a corner with heavy right hands. Kane whips Finn corner to corner, big clothesline then the sidewalk slam, TWO. Chinlock wrapped around Finn’s head, but Finn endures as fans rally. Finn is whipped to a corner again but boots back a couple times. He slips to the apron, kicks Kane back, Finn dropkicks Kane out the other side. Finn takes aim, slingshots and knocks Kane into barriers. Kane staggers away, Finn runs in, dropkick blasts Kane into the barrier! Finn comes back, Kane uses a chair! Disqualification but it matters not to Kane, he goes after Finn’s ribs with that chair edge! Back into the ring, Kane takes aim at Finn with that chair, SMACK to the back!

Finn doesn’t stay down, so Kane takes aim again, SMACK! Kane watches Finn writhe in agony, but also how Finn gets up again. SMACK once more and Finn goes down again. Finn no longer gets back up, so Kane takes Finn and places that chair on him like a vice! Kane climbs to the second rope, BRAUN appears!! Sore throat aside, The Monster Among Men storms the ring. Finn is saved by referees, Kane SMACKS Strowman, but it doesn’t even affect him now! Kane is in fear of Strowman now, he gets a boot and body shots from Strowman. Strowman gives Kane headbutt after hebadbutt, and corner to corner splash! Things spill out of the ring and Strowman arms himself with steel steps, he runs Kane right over! Now Strowman puts the bigger base steps in the ring, and stalks Kane around the corner. Strowman drags Kane up by his mask and bounces him off the other steel steps, then puts him in the ring. Monster takes chair and SMACKS the Machine in the back, payback for last week. It isn’t over there, Kane cowers under the bottom rope but Strowman drags him up and onto his shoulder! MONSTROUS POWERSLAM on the steps! The fans want “One more time!” so Strowman obliges. He drags Kane up with one hand, places that chair in the throat, and payback in full, chair jammed into the throat against the steps!

Now Kane is left gasping and coughing, but Strowman is far more merciless, a SECOND chair to the throat!! Strowman glares as Kane gasps and coughs in retreat, crawling over barrier to move through the crowd. Eye for an eye, throat for a throat, where will this battle of titans end?!

 

My Thoughts:

Another interesting Raw tonight. We again have to wonder what it is that’s slowly getting Roman over, but much of it seems that Roman just gets to be natural rather than scripted. Then putting him up against Elias and The Miztourage likely helped, those three are great at getting Heel Heat. But what an incredible match tonight from them both, it really made a star out of Elias while still giving Roman reason to shine since he also deals with Bo and Axel on the outside. Rollins-Cesaro to open was another great match, solid stuff to bring us into next week’s Raw Tag Team Championship which will no doubt be big because it’ll be in the Staples Center. Another big impact tonight was Samoa Joe in a competitive match with Titus, albeit brief as Joe still gets that rear naked choke on. Great surprise of Joe attacking Roman, a match between those two is going to be great, too.

I’m really intrigued by Matt Hardy’s apparent breakdown, which commentary made sure to phrase that way, and it all ties into talks of Hardy finally getting the rights to his Broken Hardy gimmick, perhaps we’ll be getting Broken VS Wyatt after all. Also interesting to see Paige’s new group not beat down Asuka when they did that to every other woman, can’t wait to see the explanations as to why. Cruiserweights on Raw is a mixed bag, it is good for them to get airtime so people know they exist, and the match itself was great, but it makes me wonder what 205 Live will even have tomorrow night now. Kane basically being the entire final segment’s focal point is fitting, this is feeling more and more like Kane’s final run in WWE and therefore it should involve Finn and Strowman for a handful of reasons. Obviously it’ll be Strowman that retires Kane, not Balor, and I would love it if it happened in a “Last Monster Standing” match.

My Score: 8/10

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Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (3/28/25)

SmackDown in the UK!

Published

7 hours ago

on

March 28, 2025

By

London calling to the champion crowns!

SmackDown brings gold to London as LA Knight defends his WWE US Championship and The Street Profits defend their tag team titles! Will the landscape change this close to WrestleMania?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • WWE Tag Team Championships: The Street Profits VS Pretty Deadly; The Profits win and retain the titles.
  • Kayden Carter & Katana Chance VS The Secret Her-vice w/ Chelsea Green; The Secret Her-vice wins.
  • WWE United States Championship: LA Knight VS Braun Strowman; Braun wins, by disqualification, and Knight retains the title.
  • Charlotte Flair VS Mia Yim w/ B-Fab; Charlotte wins.
  • Randy Orton VS Drew McIntyre; McIntyre wins.
  • Jimmy Uso VS The Miz; Jimmy wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Cody Rhodes is here!

We follow The American Nightmare as walks to gorilla, then through the curtain, and London sings along with the song, “WHOA~ OH~!” Cody gets his pyro, says hello to fans along the ramp, and then we get the second “WHOA~ OH~!” and pyro. Cody goes to the ring, grabs a mic, then kneels down to kiss the WWE logo on the mat. The fans continue to sing along all the way to the end, “I AM MY KINGDOM!” The fans then cheer, and Cody holds up the belt to fire them up even more! The fans now sing for “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” and he soaks it in. The fans cheer again as Cody smiles, and he finally says, “So, London~! Whaddya wanna talk about?”

The fans chant “Let’s Go, Cena!” “CENA SUCKS!” Cody hears that dueling, and he smiles again. The song of “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” returns, then they cheer. Cody says, “At WrestleMania 41, I will be facing John Cena…” The fans boo, but Cody says, “I will be facing John Cena as he goes to break the record and win 17. But that is WrestleMania 41. In just a few nights, I will be standing face to face with John Cena in this very same city, in this very same arena.” The fans cheer that, but then here comes Randy Orton! Now the fans sing along with Voices as The Viper heads to the ring. Orton also high-fives fans before he joins Cody.

Orton grabs a mic, paces while the fans keep singing on their own, and then the fans cheer. Orton says he’s not really the sentimental type, but for Cody and for London, screw it. The fans chant “R K O! R K O!” and Orton tells Cody, “Look at you. Look at who you are now, the man you are now. Look at where he came from.” The fans cheer and sing “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” and Orton says he remembers a Cody in his early 20s, just breaking into the business. Cody was busting his ass harder than anyone else. He wasn’t exactly happy, and in fact, he was frustrated. But Cody was man enough, smart enough, to know he needed to grow, and that he couldn’t grow in the WWE.

Cody wasn’t exactly treated fairly in the WWE, so Cody left the WWE! That took some big ass balls to do what he did! Cody changed the business singlehandedly, and everyone in the back knows it. And Orton appreciates Cody for it. But then Cody came back, as they all knew one day he would. And the industry has been changed forever since the day Cody came back to the WWE. Cody is a bit teary eyed as Orton says Cody’s still the same guy, he just did what he set out to do, and he grew. Orton teases he would sing along with the fans, but the fans might leave. The fans again sing “CODY! CODY RHODES~!”

Orton asks if they remember when Cody Rhodes faced Seth Rollins in Hell in a Cell. The fans cheer because they do. Orton says that was impressive, and even impossible, as he started with a partially torn pec and then ended with a fully torn pec! His body changed all kinds of shades of purple that Orton’s never seen on a human body. The pain he must have been in. Cody persevered not just for himself. Maybe not even at all for Cody. It was not even for his family legacy; it was for each and every single fan out there! Then Cody went on to WrestleMania, beat Roman Reigns and finished the story!

But there’s always another story, isn’t there? And Cody’s right in the middle of one. Cody is in charge of his legacy, and it is a privilege for Orton to watch Cody take control of it. Ticket sales have been up, there’s more intrigue around the world, and listen to the people! It is 99.9% all because of Cody! The fans cheer that, and of course they sing. Orton says what he’s trying to say is a long-winded version of he respects Cody, loves him, and is very, very proud of him. The fans cheer that! Orton then says, “But… But now it is time for WrestleMania.” They both look to the sign, and Orton says he can guarantee Cody that Orton will kick Kevin Owens so hard in the head…!

Orton can just feel it already! He forgets how many days are left, but he can’t wait to remove Kevin’s head from his shoulders. And Orton knows Cody will enter champion, exit champion, but not before he beats the holy hell outta Cena all up and down the Vegas strip! But after all the smoke clears and the dust settles, just like Orton wants Number 17, there will come a time when Orton will want Number 15. But Orton won’t kick Cody in the balls like a coward. Orton will look Cody in the eye because he respects Cody, is proud of Cody, and sees him as an equal. Orton will look Cody in the eye and tell him that he’s coming for the title.

The fans cheer but wait! Drew McIntyre is here! The fans cheer the Scottish Terminator as he steps out on stage, mic in hand, and has a wry smile on his face as he looks at the ring. Drew waves as the fans now sing, “OH~ Drew McIntyre~!” Drew says, “Isn’t this wonderful? A couple of nepo babies having a love fest in the middle of the ring> It makes me absolutely sick. What’d you just say, Randy? if Cody gets through Cena at WrestleMania, you’re coming for that title? What exactly have you done since that big comeback to justify that title match? Aside be Randy Orton. The only big moment I can remember is you being on the shelf for months and months and months.

“People like to make jokes about it, but more people talk about my five-minute-45-second title reign than your entire comeback so far! So get to the back of the line, sunshine! As for you, Cody, you should’ve listened to me. But you shunned me. You attacked me. Everybody should’ve listened to me about John Cena, but they didn’t. And the next night, he kicked you right in the twig ‘n’ berries, proving me right as usual. And the main event of WrestleMania should be Cody Rhodes VS The UK’s only ever world champion, Drew McIntyre!” Fans do like that idea. But sadly, it’s not, because of that guyliner wearing Temu Undertaker, Damian Priest!

Drew wants to talk about what is happening. And what’s gonna happen! Drew steps up to the ring while fans sing for him again. Drew says it will not be Randy that takes the title from Cody, should he get through Cena; it’ll be McIntyre. The fans cheer, but Orton says they were trying to have a moment. Can Drew just cut the crap already? Drew says okay, sure. He’ll tell the truth, because that’s all he ever does. The truth is, Kevin might have a point! If those Voices are talking to Orton again, then they know Drew very, very well. And he’s thinking, “My God, Randy looks great! Absolutely jacked! On the outside.”

On the inside, that back is hanging by a thread. And if Orton provokes McIntyre, McIntyre will break him. And as for Cody- Cody kicks Drew and UPPERCUTS him! The fans fire up, and Orton R- NO, Drew gets away! The fans boo, but the battlelines are drawn! Even if Cody makes it out of the frying pan that is Las Vegas, it’ll be into the fire that is these contenders waiting in line! Will the American Nightmare be ready for whoever comes for the crown?

 

WWE Tag Team Championships: The Street Profits VS Pretty Deadly!

Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins are finally golden again, but it’s time to put the titles on the line already! And while they’re ready for the grind, they’re up against the hometown heroes! Will the Profits still be up in the O2? Or will Kit Wilson & Elton Prince say #YESBOY to a new reign of their own?

The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see who really wants the smoke!

The teams sort out and Kit starts with Dawkins. They tie up, Dawkins headlocks, but Kit powers up and out. Dawkins runs Kit over, the fans fire up, and Dawkins fires hands on Kit in the corner! The fans rally for Pretty Deadly, Dawkins whips Kit to a corner, but Elton takes that bump! Kit CLOBBERS Dawkins, then tags Elton! Atomic drop into DROPKICK! Ford runs up, but into a DOUBLE HIP TOSS! Dawkins whips, Elton reverses, and then Elton hurdles so Kit can DDT! The fans fire up with Pretty Deadly while the Profits bail out. Pretty Deadly has control while SmackDown goes picture in picture.

Elton is right on Dawkins as he gets in, and UPPERCUTS him to the corner. Elton clinches Dawkins for another UPPERCUT! Tag to Kit, and Elton RAMS into Dawkins so Kit can UPPERCUT! Dawkins flops over, Kit drags him up to wrench the arm. Kit whips, Dawkins reverses, but Kit grabs ropes. Kit ELBOWS Dawkins, DECKS Ford, but Dawkins CLOBBERS Kit! The ref reprimands but Dawkins RAMS Kit into the corner again and again! The ref counts, Dawkins fires fast hands, then he tags in Ford. Ford says, “SUCK IT!” then he KICKS Kit! Ford scuffs Kit, then drags him to a cover, TWO!

Ford keeps Kit down with a facelock, but Kit endures the grind. Kit fights up, fires body shots, but Ford whips him away. Kit sunset flips! Ford rolls through, and PENALTY KICKS! Ford mocks Elton with the Scott Hall fingers, and the ref has to keep Elton back. Ford drags Kit up, tags Dawkins, and the Profits mug Kit. Dawkins CLUBS Kit down, then stalks him. Dawkins stays between Kit and Elton, then whips Kit into the Profits’ corner. CYCLONE- NO, Kit dodges! Ford tags in, he keeps Kit from Elton now, but Kit slips out of the suplex! Kit fakes high to go low, hot tag to Elton! Elton rallies with LARIAT after LARIAT!

Elton kicks and whips Ford to a corner, then UPPERCUTS! Elton whips the other way, UPPERCUTS again, and then does it again! Elton adds to the hattrick with a lift, Ford says a quick prayer before the SUPLEX! Ford flounders, gets to his feet, but Elton dodges to springboard and FLYING UPPERCUT! Cover, TWO! Ford stays in this, but Elton stays on him. SmackDown returns to single picture and fans rally for Pretty Deadly as Elton gives Ford a back suplex. Ford lands out, waistlocks, but Elton switches and shoves Ford. Ford CLOBBERS Elton in return! Ford is also dazed but he covers, ONE!

Kit reaches out, Elton and Ford both crawl, hot tags to Kit and Dawkins! The fans fire up as Dawkins wrenches Kit, underhooks and SILENCER! Dawkins Electric Chair Lifts Kit, Ford climbs, but Kit slips free! Kit shoves Dawkins into Ford! Ford falls to the floor, but Dawkins ENZIGIRIS Kit! Elton tags in, and Kit LARIATS Dawkins! Pretty Deadly combine for DRY MARTI-KNEES! Cover, TWO!! Dawkins survives and the Profits are a bit unsure of what to do next. Dawkins crawls to a corner, Elton runs up, but Dawkins dodges! Elton hits buckles and Dawkins TOSSES Kit, then Dawkins hits a SKY HIGH on Elton!

Dawkins hurries to tag Ford and Ford climbs up! But Kit pushes Elton out of the way! Kit takes FROM THE HEAVESN, and Elton ghost pins Ford! TWO!! Ford escapes, and he ROCKS Elton! Elton UPPERCUTS Ford! Dawkins sneaks a tag, Ford SUPERKICKS! POUNCE SAIDO COMBO!! Cover, KIT BREAKS IT! The fans fire up while all four men are down! The teams go to opposite ends, then they all stand up in the corners. They all roar, all run in, and Kit SPEARS Ford while Elton FLYING UPPERCUTS Dawkins!! London is thunderous, and Kit hurries to tag in! Pretty Deadly gets Dawkins up, for SPILT MILK!! Cover, FORD BREAKS IT!

The fans are shocked, as is Elton, but Ford saves this for his team! “This is Awesome!” as Ford runs up and Elton TOSSES him out! Now DRY MARTI- NO! Dawkins doesn’t accept the second serving, and he DUMPS Kit out! Kit skins the cat while Dawkins DECKS Elton! Dawkins catches Kit to an Electric Chair! Ford rises, DOOMSDAY BLOCKBUSTER!! Cover, Profits win!

Winners: The Street Profits, by pinfall (still WWE Tag Team Champions)

Pretty Deadly put up a heroic fight, but the hometown heroes could not capture the gold. Dawkins & Ford hold onto the gold, will this be the strongest the Profits have ever been?

 

Kayden & Katana talk with Zelina Vega.

Carter & Chance know La Muneca got screwed over by The Green Administration. Chelsea thinks she’s untouchable, but someone’s gonna stop them eventually. Well, speaking of, Alba Fyre leads the way in as she & Piper Niven “scope the perimeter.” There’s one small threat. They frisk the “miniscule” threat, but nothing they haven’t dealt with before. Chelsea struts in and says, “The Eagle has landed~!” Zelina says she is so glad the “Bootleg Men in Black” have crashed the party. Now, yeah, they all know she’s small. But clearly this small “threat” is a big threat to Chelsea’s title reign. Otherwise, it wouldn’t have taken all three of them to beat her.

KC Squared agree with that. How about tonight, we see what happens when the odds are even? Chelsea says that’s fine, because Agents P & A are ready. The Secret Her-vice has been given their next mission, but will they be able to crash the party? Or will the party crash them?

Kayden Carter & Katana Chance VS The Secret Her-vice!

SmackDown returns and The Green Administration makes their entrance. The teams sort out, Alba starts against Katana, and the two tie up. Alba KNEES low, CLUBS Katana down, then fireman’s carries. Katana fights free, tags Kayden, and they KICK, double whip, and then trip Alba up for the basement DROPKICK! Katana adds a slingshot SENTON, Kayden covers, TWO! Kayden tags Katana, they double whip Alba to a corner, then Kayden runs in. Alba DUMPS Kayden out, ROCKS Katana, and she tags Piper! Katana arm-drags Alba out, then goes out to run up. Kayden gives her a boost, Katana CROSSBODIES Alba down!

The fans fire up, but Piper goes up and out?! CANNONBALL and down goes KC Squared! Piper salutes Chelsea and SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns, Kayden rallies on Alba while the fans rally up. Kayden fires up, runs in and whips, but Alba reverses. Kayden wheelbarrows, victory rolls, then SUPERKICKS! Kayden fires up again but the fans are torn. Kayden runs in at Alba to BOOT WASH her against the ropes! Chelsea protests, Kayden kicks at her, then Kayden springboards for a LEG DROP! Cover, TWO! Alba survives, Kayden whips, but Alba KICKS back! Tag to Piper, but Kayden jackknife bridges Alba! The ref explains bout the tag, Piper runs up, but Kayden moves! The SENTON hits Alba! Piper panics, Kayden tags Katana!

Katana goes up onto Kayden’s shoulders, VICTORY ROLL LAUNCHER, but Piper catches Katana! Katana fires hands, BOOTS, and then hurries to go up again. Kayden ROCKS Piper, and fireman’s carries?! SAMOAN DROP! Kayden then gives Katana the boost, for the KEG STAND SPLASH!! Cover, ALBA BREAKS IT! Kayden runs up on Alba to BOOT her out! Katana gives Kayden the boost now, SUPER CROSSBODY onto Alba! Kayden hurries to tag back in, and she brings Piper up. Piper swings, Kayden dodges and SUPERKICKS! Katana goes up, Piper staggers over that way, but Chelsea distracts the ref!

The fans are torn as Alba grabs Katana. Katana kicks Alba down, chases Chelsea off, but Piper sends Kayden into her! Piper scoops to PIPER DRIVER!! Cover, Secret Her-vice wins!

Winner: The Secret Her-vice, by pinfall

The Women’s US Champion helps her team, and now they all mug Kayden & Katana! But here comes Zelina! Vega runs down the ramp, CLOBBERS Alba, and then she gets in the ring! Zelina tilt-o-whirl DDTS Piper! And she KNEES Alba off the apron! But Chelsea CLOBBERS Zelina! Chelsea fires up, the UK is oddly with her, and she chicken wings Zeina. But Zelina fights free to fire forearms and body shots! And a BACK ELBOW! Zelina reels Chelsea in, CODE- SUPERKICK from Alba! SENTON from Piper! The Green Administration is just too much for Zelina to fight against alone! But can she, Kayden & Katana find a way to turn things around?

 

WWE United States Championship: LA Knight VS Braun Strowman!

Did the Mega Star just get this title back from Shinsuke Nakamura? YEAH! Did he help the Monster of All Monsters fight off Solo Sikoa’s rouge bloodline? YEAH! And now, does he have to defend this title against the monster he just helped? YEAH!! But will Knight still reign this close to WrestleMania? Or will Braun #GetTheseHands back on a championship?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and it’s time for Knight’s biggest challenge, YEAH!

The bell rings and the fans rally up as the two circle. The two tie up, and Braun SHOVES Knight away. Knight comes back, Braun SHOVES him down again! Knight gets up, gets around, and he headlocks. Braun powers up to back suplex, but Knight lands out! Knight tries but Braun’s too big to suplex! Braun ELBOWS Knight, storms up on him, but Knight fires haymakers! Knight whips, Braun reverses, but Knight KICKS back! Knight runs, but Braun HIP TOSSES! Cover, TWO! Knight stays in this, but Braun brings him up. Braun puts Knight in a corner, CHOPS, then runs, for a SPLASH! Knight sputters along ropes, Braun keeps moving, but Knight DUMPS him out!

The fans fire up as Knight then WRECKS Braun with a dropkick! Knight keeps moving, and he WRECKS Braun again! The fans fire up with Knight, but then Braun BOOTS Knight down! The fans are torn but Braun stands tall as SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and Braun puts Knight back in the ring. The fans cheer as Knight KICKS Braun! Knight tries again, but Braun’s still too big to back suplex! Braun CLUBS Knight, then runs in at the corner. Knight BOOTS Braun, goes up, and FLYING BULLDOGS! Both men are down and the fans fire up! Knight and Braun rise back up, and Knight dodges a shot to JAB! Then he dodges to JAB! JAB! JAB! “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” But Braun KNEES low! Braun scoops, Knight slips free, and Knight RAMS Braun into buckles! Then the BACK SUPLEX! The fans fire up and Knight rises again! Knight spells it out, “L! A! KNIGHT! YEAH!” ELBOW DROP! Cover, TWO!

Braun has plenty left in the tank but the fans rally for Knight. Knight stands Braun up to kick low, but Braun THROWS Knight away! Knight rises, and Braun LARIATS Knight up and out! The fans fire up as Braun rips the shirt! Braun gets on the track, and he runs in, STROWMAN EXPRESS MEETS JACOB FATU!! The Samoan Werewolf strikes Braun down!

Winner: Braun Strowman, by disqualification; LA Knight retains the title

The fans boo as Jacob now goes after Knight! He just ruined what was becoming a great match, but Jacob fires HEADBUTT after HEADBUTT on Braun! SAMOAN DROP onto the desk!! The desk doesn’t budge, but Braun might’ve been broken in half! The UK fires up for Fatu as he puts Braun in the ring! Jacob fires more HEADBUTTS, then HEADBUTTS away on Braun in the corner! The fans sing “OLE~ OLE OLE OLE, FATU~, FATU~!” Jacob runs corner to corner, but Knight kicks him first! Knight fires haymakers, “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” Jacob denies the BFT to POP-UP SAMOAN DROP! And then HIP ATTACK for Braun anyway!

Jacob keeps going, HIP ATTACK for Braun again! Jacob throws off his jacket, glares at Braun, and he runs in for a third HIP ATTACK! Braun flounders into the drop zone, so Jacob goes up, up, BEST MOONSAULT EVER! Direct hit on Braun, but the fans want that “ONE MORE TIME!” Jacob obliges, BEST MOONSAULT EVER! The Samoan Werewolf just tore up #OneBigSOB and LA Knight, will there be no stopping him from taking the United States Championship?

 

Backstage interview with Jimmy Uso.

Jackie Redmond is with #BigJim, and she says that while she knew WWE was going global this month, she did not know they’d get the slap heard ’round the world! Jimmy says he’d do it again, and he’ll slap Gunther as many times as he needs! Jimmy knows Jey is up in his own head, doubt is creeping on him. But just because Jey’s 0-3 against Gunther doesn’t mean Gunther’s unbeatable! The Ring General CAN be got! Jimmy’s going to Raw this Monday, he will bust Gunther’s ass, Jey will go to Mania and bust Gunther’s ass to become the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. And then they leave Las Vegas just like this: YEET!

Jimmy heads out, but then The Miz & Carmelo Hayes walk by. Miz is mocking Jimmy’s words, and he asks excuse me. Miz says it’s just funny that suddenly, Jimmy is a tough guy, even though for most of his career, he’s been “The Other Uso.” Doesn’t Jimmy get it? Jimmy and Jey are career sidekicks while Gunther is a main character. Gunther is the lead, neither Jimmy nor Jey can beat him. And here’s another thing: The Usos are just blips on the trailer that was Roman Reigns’ Bloodline. Melo says Jimmy & Jey are stuck outside the club, they can’t even get in.

Miz says as a former WWE Champion, a former WrestleMania main eventer, Jimmy will never know what it is to carry this industry. And after this year’s WrestleMania, neither will Jey. Oh, and by the way, if Jimmy ever slapped Miz like that, Jimmy would still be on the ground. Jimmy feints the slap and Miz freaks out. Jimmy says it may be him and Gunther on Monday, but he’ll holler at Aldis real quick so it can be Jimmy VS Miz here tonight. Yeah, YEET! Jimmy heads out, Melo says he thought Miz was gonna do something about the slap. Will Miz have to do something about running his mouth before he gets his teeth kicked in?

 

Solo Sikoa & Tama Tonga find Jacob Fatu backstage.

Solo asks Jacob what the Hell he was doing out there. Jacob goes out there alone without saying a thing to them? Jacob says he ain’t gotta say nothing to nobody! Matter fact, didn’t Solo not tap in with him last week? Tama says, “But Jacob,” only for Jacob to say, “But nothing, Tama!” Solo wants Jacob to lower his tone, but Jacob says okay. Let him be very clear with them. When it comes to Braun Strowman, Jacob WILL be the last man standing. Y’all better get in where you fit in, cuz that US title? Oh, Jacob’s bringing it home to the family. And he will do it with them, or without them! Yadada mean? Fatu heads out, is the Samoan Werewolf no longer following Solo?

 

Naomi speaks.

“I mean… How did we even get here? I don’t know. One thing that I do know is that I’ve always been the woman to do the right thing. I’ve always been the woman to do the right thing. So Bianca, what makes you think that my attack on Jade was anything different from me doing the right thing? When I sit here and I think about all that I’ve sacrificed, all that I’ve given, and that’s what really breaks my heart. Because through all of that, I’m made to be the bad one in this situation. I just don’t understand, how does Jade come in outta nowhere and take my place with you? I want you to ask yourself this, Bianca. Who inspired you? Hmm?

“Who’s inspired women over the last decade? Who’s always had your back from day one of you being here? Me. Not Jade. Hmm. But you know what? What I’ve learned through all of this: You teach people how to treat you. And I’m done with being treated as a third wheel. I’m done being pushed to the side, I’m done with being too nice, I’m done with being undervalued, underutilized, underappreciated! So moving forward, hmm… Moving forward, here’s my message to you, Jade. If you continue to be in my way, I strongly advise you to proceed with caution.” The Glow shows her dark side, but will the storm be moved?

 

Nick Aldis meets with Jade Cargill.

Speaking of, the SmackDown General Manager understands things have been rather difficult for her as of late. Jade says she’s been trying to get her hands on Naomi for the past few weeks, now where is she? No one has seen her all day, so as far as anyone knows, Naomi’s not here. Well, when Jade catches Naomi, it’s on sight. Jade leaves, B-Fab & Michin are there. They let her know that what Naomi did to her was straight trash, totally uncalled for behavior. And after Jade gets her hands on Naomi, she’ll handle that business. Jade agrees. Mia says they’ve all got business to handle. Jade’s got Naomi, and Mia’s gonna get Charlotte for messing with her girl, B.

B-Fab says Naomi’s got what’s coming to her: no sympathy, no regrets. Jade, just do what you gotta do. Oh, she will. Jade also wishes Mia luck tonight. Mia & B-Fab head out, will the Head Baddie in Charge make the Queen bow down in London?

 

The darkness approaches.

“You are as I was. As I am, you will be.” The shadows are starting to take shape, but is SmackDown about to fade to black?

 

Charlotte Flair VS Mia Yim w/ B-Fab!

The Queen looks down on everyone, so it’s no surprise that everyone else wants to take her down. Charlotte may have checked off B-Fab, but will the HBIC be a much different story? Or will Charlotte only sharpen her edge before facing Tiffany Stratton at WrestleMania?

WAIT! NAOMI ATTACKS B-FAB & MICHIN! Naomi drags Mia up for a FACEBUSTER! Naomi rains down fists, the ref reprimands and the fans boo, but Naomi tells the ref to back off. Naomi then BOOTS B-Fab off the apron! Naomi goes out after B-Fab to THRWO her into barriers! Naomi SLAPS B-Fab, tells her to stay down, but B-Fab gets up. Naomi fires hands, then she SMACKS B-Fab off the desk! Naomi rains down fists, but here comes Jade! Jade hurries down the ramp, she runs around the way, but Naomi runs away! Jade makes sure B-Fab is okay, but refs have to help her to the back. And what of Mia? Will she even be able to compete?

Charlotte makes her entrance, not really caring about what Naomi just did to Mia. But that means she also crosses paths with Jade. The fans like the look of this stare down, but Jade and Charlotte both let the other slide. Charlotte gets her pyro, and it seems she’ll still get her match. Will Mia be little more than an appetizer now?

The bell rings, and Charlotte BOOTS Mia down! Cover, TWO! Mia stays in this and the fans rally up. Charlotte just struts around while SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns, Charlotte has Mia down with a chinlock, but the fans rally up. Mia fights up, fires body shots, and she then blocks a shot to ROCK Charlotte! Mia ROCKS Charlotte again and again, then reels her in for a TORNADO DDT! The fans fire up as Mia hurries to cover, TWO! Mia drags Charlotte up, wrenches, but Charlotte says no to Da Feet! BIG back suplex! Mia stagger sup, Charlotte whips her, but Mia reverses! Charlotte goes up and out, BOOTS her away, then slingshots in and rolls Mia! Mia rolls through and BUZZSAWS! Mia runs corner to corner, but Charlotte avoids the cannonball!

Charlotte YAKUZA KICKS Mia down, then fires herself up! The fans “WOO~!” as Charlotte has Mia in the drop zone,. Charlotte steps on her, goes up the corner, but Mia gets underneath her! SIT-OUT POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO! Charlotte survives and Mia is shocked! Mia nods as the fans rally back up, and she brings Charlotte up. But Charlotte ROCKS Mia! Mia SOBATS, PELES, and then runs to PENALTY KICK! Cover, TWO! Charlotte stays in this, Mia grows frustrated, but the fans continue to rally. Mia uses that energy to stay focused, and she stalks Charlotte to waistlock. But Charlotte ELBOWS her away!

Charlotte CHOPS, and CHOPS, and CHOSP! Charlotte winds up, and she CHOPS again! Mia sputters, but then she dodges the boot! Charlotte is caught, and Mia hits a SAIDO! Charlotte flounders to a corner, the fans rally behind Mia, and Mia runs up, CANNONBALL! Mia hurries to wrench and EAT- NO, Charlotte shoves Mia away! Charlotte gets under, back suplexes, but Mia lands out! EAT DA FEET!! Cover, ROPEBREAK!! Charlotte’s long legs help her survive by a literal foot! Mia is beside herself while Charlotte bails out. Mia storms after Charlotte, runs up, but Charlotte dodges! Mia’s kick hits steel steps!

Mia hobbles away, goes to the apron, but Charlotte CHOP BLOCKS the bad leg out! Charlotte grabs Mia’s leg, drops a KNEE on the knee, but fans chant, “We Want Tiffy!” Charlotte just steps through, FIGURE FOUR, into FIGURE EIGHT!! Mia taps, Charlotte wins!

Winner: Charlotte Flair, by submission

Charlotte got more of a fight out of Mia than expected, but she still won. Will The Queen be more than ready to reign again after WrestleMania?

 

Backstage interview with Tiffany Stratton.

Jackie Redmond is with the WWE Women’s Champion and says Charlotte certainly looks confident. Let’s be real, Charlotte came at Tiff pretty hard. It got a lot of people talking. Tiff says yes, people talk. And Charlotte sure loves to hear herself talk. Ten years into the business and Charlotte is still so insecure that she can’t let a “rookie” get a word out. But last week, Tiff did learn something: She learned that walking into WrestleMania, she isn’t the one with something to lose. Truth is, if Tiff loses, then she lost to the great Charlotte Flair, as just a 25-year-old rookie with one year into SmackDown.

But if Charlotte loses… Well, then she lost to an “undeserving, delusional, unoriginal, backflip doing, blonde-hair-having, little girl.” Did she get it all? And Tiff can’t wait to hear the look on Charlotte’s face when they hear the words, “And STILL!” Then maybe Charlotte will finally shut up for the sake of literally everyone! They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, and Tiff will make damn sure what stays is Charlotte’s massive ego. Tiff is walking into and out of Mania as the WWE Women’s Champion. Tootles! Tiff heads out, will it still be #TiffyTime after WrestleMania?

 

Randy Orton VS Drew McIntyre!

The Viper told Cody how proud he was, but also how he wants the next shot after John Cena. The Scottish Terminator took offense to that, and basically said he is taking that shot instead. Will this match be an unofficial #1 contender’s match between these two former world champions?

SmackDown returns and McIntyre makes his entrance. The bell rings and the fans sing, “OH~, Drew McIntyre~!” and chant “R K O! R K O!” Drew and Orton circle, tie up, and they go around in a deadlock. Drew powers Orton to a corner, but Orton headlocks back. Drew powers up and out, then he runs Orton over! Orton hurries to ropes and Drew mockingly asks, “How’s the back feel, Randy?” Orton stands, he and Drew reset, and the fans duel some more. Drew calls for a knuckle lock, Orton accepts, but then Drew kicks low! Drew bumps Orton off buckles, then climbs up, but he panders for too long and Orton YANKS him down!

The fans fire up as Orton climbs now! Orton rains down fists, and the fans count to nine. Orton hops down, brings Drew around, and POSTS him for ten! Drew tumbles out of the ring, Orton goes out after him, and they’re by the desk! But Drew kicks Orton first and SMACKS him off the desk! Drew clears the desk, and he brings Orton up for the DESK- NO, Orton fights free! Orton turns things around, DESK BACK SUPLEX for Drew! The fans fire up while Orton leaves Drew behind, and SmackDown goes picture in picture.

Drew writhes on the floor, but Orton goes out to fetch him! Orton brings Drew around, UPPERCUTS him, then says one more time! DESK BACK SUPLEX! Drew writhes as that desk stays standing! Orton grins, refreshes the ring count, and then he storms up on Drew. Drew pokes Orton in the eye! Drew POSTS Orton now, then brings him around to RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP into barriers! Orton slumps down, and Drew also grits his teeth from that double-edged attack, but Drew fires up as he stands tall. Drew drags Orton up, puts him in the ring, then stalks Orton. Drew looms over Orton, and HIP DROPS him!

Orton sputters, Drew says one more time, and he winds up for the HIP DROP! Drew paces around Orton, says maybe one more time, and he pretends he can’t hear the fans. Drew winds up again, but Orton flips over! Hip drop meets kneecaps! And then Orton pokes Drew in the eyes! The ref reprimands but Orton rises up. Drew sputters and flounders, Orton ROCKS him with a right! Drew ROCKS Orton back! Drew storms up, Orton kicks low, but Drew fires another haymaker! The haymakers go back and forth, Orton gets the edge, but Drew GLASGOW KISS HEADBUTTS! Cover, TWO! Drew clamps onto Orton with an armlock!

SmackDown returns to single picture and the fans rally up. Orton fights up, pries at the chinbar, and then throws right hands! Drew CHOPS Orton in return! The fans “WOO~” and Drew winds up. Drew ROCKS Orton again, eggs him on, then CHOPS again! Drew shoves Orton to a corner, CHOPS again, then dares Orton to fight! Drew whips corner to corner, but Orton comes back to LARIAT! And LARIAT! Drew swings, Orton dodges, SNAP POWERSLAM! The fans fire up as Orton stalks Drew to the apron. Drew HOTSHOTS Orton first! Drew then runs in, but Orton puts him through the ropes!

The fans fire up as Orton has Drew for the DRAPING DDT! The fans fire up for Orton, and Orton hears those voices! Drew rises, but then Orton spots KEVIN OWENS! The Prizefighter is on the ramp, Orton glares at him, but then he turns around into a CLAYMORE!! Cover, DREW WINS!

Winner: Drew McIntyre, by pinfall

Kevin’s mere presence costs Orton, and now Drew has a huge win propelling him down the Road to WrestleMania! As for Orton, Kevin drags him out of the ring, SMACKS him off the desk, and then climbs up to join him! The fans boo but Kevin and his hot pink sneakers have Orton in position, but Orton slips free and TRIPS Kevin up! Kevin hits the desk then the floor! Orton staggers around, the fans rally behind him, and Orton stalks Kevin to the corner of the barriers. Orton lines up the shot! Orton runs in, but Kevin jumps over barriers! Security is there to stop Orton from pursuing, so Kevin runs away into the night!

The fans boo, but The Viper was that close! Will Orton be able to strike Kevin down and completely take him out?

 

Fire, thunder, smoke…

The force of nature is drawing ever closer. And he’s ready to fly! REY FENIX arrives next Friday Night SmackDown!

 

Jimmy Uso VS The Miz!

#BigJim gave Gunther a piece of his mind and a mark on his cheek, but it seems not everyone got the message. Will the Hollywood A-lister soon star in the Uso Penitentiary? Or will he prove Jimmy is NOT ready for a world champion level opponent?

The bell rings and the two tie up. Jimmy powers Miz to a corner, Miz turns things around, and the ref counts. Miz takes a swing, Jimmy ducks it to CHOP! And CHOP! Miz shoves Jimmy back, then runs up, but Jimmy TACKLES Miz! Jimmy rains down fists, Miz shoves him away to go to ropes, but Jimmy storms back up. Miz ELBOWS Jimmy away, then runs back up, only for Jimmy to LARIAT him down! The fans fire up while Jimmy storms up on Miz. Jimmy CHOPS Miz, has him in a corner, then whips corner to corner. Miz reverses, Jimmy goes up and over, then UPPERCUTS! Miz staggers back to ropes, but Jimmy is right on him.

Jimmy whips, Miz reverses and kitchen sink knees! Then basement BOOTS! The fans fire up, Miz scowls, and Miz KNEES Jimmy in the back again and again. Miz stalks Jimmy to the ropes now, and he CHOKES Jimmy! The ref counts, Miz runs, and Miz STRADDLE ATTACKS! The fans boo, but Miz runs again. Jimmy ducks the boot, then dodges a lariat! Jimmy runs up to LARIAT Miz up and out! The fans fire up and Jimmy builds speed, but Miz runs away! Jimmy smirks as he goes out the side, and UPPERCUTS Miz over the barriers! Jimmy makes sure Gunther knows he’s coming to get him, but SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and both men are down. Miz and Jimmy crawl, and Jimmy pounds the mat. The fans rally, Jimmy rises and runs up to LARIAT! And LARIAT! And mule kick! Jimmy then UPPERCUTS Miz, dodges a lariat, then SAMOAN DROPS! The fans fire up, Jimmy goes to the corner, “UCE! OH!” Jimmy runs in, but Miz puts him on the apron! Jimmy UPPERCUTS again! Jimmy climbs, leaps, but Miz gets under! Miz then waistlocks, ripcords, and MOVIE MAKER! Fans boo that blatant parody, but Miz full nelsons! Jimmy drops, victory rolls, TWO! Miz has the cover, TWO! Miz hurries to BASEMENT DDT! Cover, TWO!

The fans rally up as Jimmy survives! Miz stalks Jimmy, the fans rally up more, and Miz fires a KICK! And then another KICK! The fans say “YES! YES! YES!” to the It Kicks, but then Miz winds up. Jimmy ducks the buzzsaw, Miz blocks the superkick, but the DRAGON WHIP connects! Miz rebounds to B-MOVIE KNEE!! Cover, TWO!! The parodies don’t get it done, but Miz still has his original work to fall back on. The fans rally for “UCE! OH! UCE! OH!” Miz runs in, A-LIST LARIAT! Miz shoves Jimmy down, then springboards, but into a SUPERKICK! Jimmy hurries up top, for the USO SPLASH!! Cover, Jimmy wins!

Winner: Jimmy Uso, by pinfall

Miz may be a movie star, but Big Jim’s the one winning this main event! Jimmy then borrows Joe Tessitore’s headset to call out Gunther! He’s coming after dat ass on Monday! Gunther won’t be the ring general, he will be “Private Gunther,” and he will salute Big Jim! Uh, uh, YEET! Will Jimmy be the one making examples out of the World Heavyweight Champion? Or will everything come crashing down when Gunther gets his turn?

 

Drew McIntyre returns backstage.

And he says hey to Lewis Capaldi, the Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter, and also a big fan of Drew’s. They’re ready to have a good night in the pub, but Jackie Redmond walks over to congratulate him on the win tonight. She was hoping to get some thoughts on that victory and what happened with Orton and Kevin. Drew says it’s alright, this is what happens. He doesn’t care about anybody else’s business, but no one gets away with screwing him over. And when no one meddles in his business, he wins! Drew called out Priest, where is he? Priest doesn’t have the balls! So time to get mad in the pubs, everyone’s invited!

Drew turns the corner, but PRIEST IS THERE! Priest ROCKS Drew, SMACKS him off the door, then throws him into road cases! Priest ROCKS Drew, SMACKS him off the trunk of a car, and then again! Or since it’s London, “the boot.” The driver complains, but Priest BODY SLAMS that guy through a table! Drew comes back to KNEE Priest low, SMACK him off the trunk, and then off the side! They go to the hood, or bonnet for UK. Drew drags Priest up, but Priest CLAWS Drew’s eyes! Priest then sends Drew SOUTH OF HEAVEN through the windshield! Priest tells security that he’s done for now. Any more jokes, Drew? Didn’t think so! RIP, jackass!

Priest leaves, the producers hurry to help Drew, and Drew’s got glass in his eye! Will that glass help Drew see why he shouldn’t piss off the Punisher?

 

CM Punk heads to gorilla.

He has a security detail with him, and he passes by Drew writhing in pain. Punk chuckles, then continues on. Will his contract signing with Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins be just as brutal? We find out, after the break.

 

Nick Aldis is in the ring.

The SmackDown General Manager welcomes us back, and says it is his honor and privilege to be here in the O2 in London. Now, we all know why he and this table is here, and why additional security is here tonight. Tonight, we are here to sign a contract for a Triple Threat. Perhaps the biggest Triple Threat in the history of WrestleMania: Seth Rollins VS CM Punk VS Roman Reigns! The fans cheer all those names, and here comes the OTC! London puts the ones up, and Paul Heyman accompanies THE Tribal Chief out on stage. Roman raises his finger to the sky for the pyro, then security follows him to the ring.

SmackDown goes picture in picture as Roman’s entrance continues, and he raises his finger to the sky for the second round of pyro. Roman steps into the ring, SmackDown returns to single picture, and Heyman hands him a mic. The fans sing, “ROMAN! ROMAN REIGNS~!” Roman nods, the fans cheer, and now they chant, “O T C! O T C!” Roman tells London, “ACKNOWLEDGE ME!” The fans cheer again, and again chant, “O T C! O T C!” Roman smiles, but he sees the chairs are not to his liking. Heyman makes sure to put one at the head of the table. Heyman also dusts the chair off while Roman enjoys the singing of, “ROMAN! ROMAN REIGNS~!”

Roman takes a seat and says that was beautiful. The way they sing to their Tribal Chief, it’s just beautiful. The singing continues, and Heyman even joins in! Roman smiles, and he says that is what he’s talking about. That’s the OTC for you, baby! The biggest star on the planet! The OTC came here for two reasons. One: to be acknowledged; check! And two: to sign this contract. Roman does just that, and he says he’s checked both boxes. That means- “BURN IT DOWN!” Seth Rollins interrupts! The fans now sing, “WHOA~ OH~ OHH~!” Rollins struts out in his red wine paisley suit and conducts the O2 Choir all the way into the ring.

The fans cheer while Roman frowns, but Rollins takes the seat to Roman’s left. Rollins offers Heyman a chance to sing to this song, but Heyman frowns. Rollins chuckles, and he says the fans do have beautiful singing voices. He doesn’t know why Roman is in such a hurry to leave, though! This is their building! There’s a lot of history here! 12 years ago, they landed on the roof of this place in a helicopter! They came down those stairs over there, “ready to burn down the old guard!” They put the Undertaker down through the desk, and they were going to remake this company in their image!

Now don’t get him wrong, Rollins knows a lot has happened since then. They fought against each other, with each other, a little bit of love and a whole lot of hate. But Rollins dare says, as the fans continue to sing “WHOA~ OH~ OHH~,” that Rollins and Roman accomplished their mission. The fans start to chant for CM Punk, but Rollins tunes them out. Roman says, “We? We? You keep saying we. Our mission? We died a long time ago. It’s only been ME. You been here, but I done all the work! I’ve made this place what it is today! I took us to the level that we are here today! I made this place better than we found it!

“I’m the one that made us desirable to Netflix! I’m the one that took us into billion-dollar deals! Tell me, what have you done?” Rollins shouts, “I’ll tell you what I’ve done! YOU, YOU, YOU, it’s that mindset that keeps me having to screw you! You understand that? And your biggest mistake is not understanding the danger that’s right in front of us! The danger that’s right in front of you! You let the biggest snake in the world, CM Punk, into the garden! And you could’ve cut his head off at WarGames! But instead, you shook his hand. You could’ve let me finish him inside the cage at The Garden, but you didn’t. And now, I am left to do what I always do: Clean up your mess, again.”

Rollins drops his mic, picks up the pen, and signs his part. And now, here comes CM PUNK! The fans fire up and sing along with Cult of Personality, then join in on saying, “IT’S CLOBBERIN’ TIME~!” Punk goes to the ring, but as he grabs a mic, he goes up a corner, just like he did last Friday. “I have come here to chew bubblegum and sign a contract. And I’m all outta bubblegum.” The fans cheer the Rowdy Roddy Piper reference, and Punk hops down to take his seat on Roman’s right. Punk looks over said contract, but Roman asks if Punk needs a highlighter or something. What’s he doing? Just go to page four, clause five.

Punk does as Roman says, but Roman says Punk needs to hurry, this is precious TV time. Punk reads the segment, Roman tells Heyman to just smarten Punk up. Heyman tells Punk he knows what Punk is looking for. It is in there. They’re closing the show at WrestleMania. The fans go wild hearing that! Heyman tells Punk that he gets to live his dream of dreams. CM Punk will be a WrestleMania main eventer! The fans cheer and while Roman smiles, Rollins is furious. Roman says, “One man’s dream is another man’s favor! CHECK!” Wait, this was the favor? Rollins says no! This is not something to laugh at, and Punk does not get to tear up!

Punk is NOT deserving! He does NOT deserve this! The fans boo but Rollins continues to throw a fit! Main eventing WrestleMania is SACRED, the most important thing in the world to Rollins! More than anything! Except the fact that Punk NEVER gets to main event! This is all Roman’s fault! This is all Heyman’s fault! Rollins THROWS his mic down, paces angrily, but Punk picks up the mic. The fans cheer Punk on again, and Punk stands to thank London, to thank Chicago, to thank Louisville, Kentucky, and to thank ALL the fans. As corny as it sounds, he thanks the WWE Universe who stood by him and chanted his name for TEN LONG YEARS!

Roman says hold on, hold on. Punk shouldn’t be thanking the fans! He should be thanking the Tribal Chief! It is because of Roman that Punk gets this honor! So please, take this moment, close the show with that acknowledgement! Do this the right way. The credits are already rolling as Punk kneels before Roman!? Punk smiles, and he thanks “My Tribal Chief, the holder of the ula fala, the Head of the Table, the… Big Dog? Thank you for allowing a kid from Chicago to be graced by your presence. Thank you, My Tribal Chief, for allowing me to stand in your ring. And thank you so much. Thank you, Roman Reigns, so very much.

“But because of you, I will see you in the main event of WrestleMania.” And again, Rollins is agonizing over this. Punk finishes putting his signature on the contract, and London tells him, “You Deserve It!” Punk thanks Roman again, and then says, “But that’s not the favor that I’m owed.” WHAT?! Roman looks at Heyman and Heyman can’t look him in the eye! If getting this Triple Threat made into the main event isn’t the gift of the Wise Man, then what is?!

My Thoughts:

A good SmackDown, but they pulled off quite the paradox. They made it feel like they were struggling to fill three hours, yet they also filled the show to the point where that contract signing segment was almost bleeding over the three hour mark. Ironically, part of the problem was just how excited the London crowd was for this. The superstars still wanted to enjoy the chants and songs, but that’s time SmackDown doesn’t have to spare. It made the opening promo from Cody, Orton and Drew take longer, and it kinda did the same to the contract signing at the end. Even so, we still got a very good promo, and good stuff to set up Orton VS McIntyre.

Orton VS McIntyre was a great match, but of course Kevin costs Orton. McIntyre gets his win, Kevin and Orton have a bit of a brawl, but of course Kevin ends up on the losing end and runs off. McIntyre’s trash talk also comes back to bite him as Priest gets the better of him in their brawl. Here’s hoping Drew didn’t actually get glass in his eye, but that being the thing in kayfabe can be some good stuff. I can imagine McIntyre with an eyepatch, and he takes it off at the opportune time to get the better of Priest in their match. Also what a fitting choice for Punk to be passing by Drew suffering because of real glass.

Very good title matches tonight, but of course the status quo was kept. Pretty Deadly gets to look great here in London, but the Profits only just got the belts, they’re not going to be transitional champions like that. And Knight VS Braun was really good stuff, but honestly, Jacob Fatu going after them both should’ve been a given. Jacob also had a great promo with Solo & Tama to start adding to that divide between Jacob and Solo. I would hope Solo doesn’t screw Jacob out of the US Championship, but it feels like he will as Solo won’t stand for Jacob defying his authority, even though Solo’s been trying to make Jacob the champion all along.

Very good stuff from Jimmy Uso tonight, from his promo with #MeloDon’tMiz and then a great match with Miz. Their match ended up the de facto main event match, so that’s also great for both guys. Great win for Jimmy, but that’s likely because Jimmy is losing big time to Gunther on Monday. And it might just be me, but it feels like only now is the Jey VS Gunther build really moving, largely in part because Jimmy got involved. Jimmy’s promo after his match is something along the lines of what Jey should be saying. But I suppose as brothers, Jimmy is the one who knows Jey best and knows what Jey needs to be motivated again. And seeing Jimmy get beat up by Gunther will definitely motivate Jey…

Good final vignettes for Rey Fenix and Aleister Black. I’m a little surprised they confirmed Rey Fenix is showing up next week, and that they confirmed who Rey Fenix even is. I believe commentary confirmed Rey Fenix is Penta’s real brother, even namedropped “Lucha Brothers,” but all that is still surprising considering Fenix is going to start on SmackDown. Aleister’s vignette (at least I am fairly confident it’s his) was giving us glimpses of his silhouette, but I think there was usage of AI in the snake imagery. It was fine they did it for El Grande Americano because that is all trolling, but they really should try and do things the old fashioned way of photoshop and stock imagery.

Very good stuff in the Women’s Division tonight, though the WWE Women’s Championship portion was the weaker. Naomi’s got a great Heel persona going, her promo was great, and her going after B-Fab & Michin over them supporting Jade was a great detail. Jade runs Naomi off, helps B-Fab, but there was no helping Michin in being fed to Charlotte. Tiffany had a decent promo, and it does fit how Charlotte kept her from speaking so she finally gets things out here. It didn’t really add that much, though, but they already gave us a great brawl so not sure what more they can give.

KC Squared VS The Secret Her-vice was a very good match, but of course Chelsea made sure her team won. A Six Woman Tag of Zelina & KC Squared VS The Green Administration is certainly coming, to help give us Zelina VS Chelsea for the Women’s US Championship.

My Score: 8.7/10

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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 3.27.2025

Bad news out of the TNA management side, but this is a taped episode from El Paso! So we won’t see any of the fallout just yet!

Published

1 day ago

on

March 27, 2025

By

Now we all heard the news about the TNA change in hierarchy, and I…have no positive outlook on that. Delirious sucked at booking and creative in the dying days of ROH before it got bought as a B show. Dreamer having even more control is concerning because his ideas the last two years haven’t been much better.

Gail leaving makes more sense to me. Be it firing or a “you can’t quit, you’re fired” kind of situation, the Knockouts division is the worst it’s been in a long time and Gail was close with Scott D’Amore. So I don’t think Gail parting ways is as big of a problem since TNA has slowly been bleeding out with the Scott faithful.

Granted, I think the next few shows were already taped before the firing so things shouldn’t be completely unwatchable for at least a week or two. So let’s see where we’re going.

Ratings:

  • Gigi Dolin & Tatum Paxley vs Elegance Clique w/Personal Concierge: Ash wins via Rarefied Air – ** 1/4
  • Fir$t Cla$$ & Frankie Kazarian vs Laredo Kid, Octagon Jr & Chavo Guerrero Jr: Chavo wins via Gory Bomb into Frog Splash – *** 1/4
  • Jacy Jayne vs Masha Slamovich: Masha wins via Russian Death Device – ***
  • Eric Young w/two losers vs Ace Austin: Eric wins via Piledriver – ** 1/2
  • Seto & Mokuba – I mean – Nic Nemeth w/Ryan Nemeth vs Leon Slater: Nic wins via Danger Zone – *** 1/4

 

Results:

Gigi Dolin & Tatum Paxley vs Elegance Clique w/Personal Concierge

Ash and Gigi start off, Gigi with a little Rascalz after her first takedown. So both her and Wentz are making it obvious something’s going on between them, and I’m not mad at it. Good for my man Wentz.

Tatum and Gigi get some quick tandem offense in, Ash does manage to scurry off to a tag and Heather gets bent into a Pretzel. Some kind of Inverted Tarantula from Tatum, Gigi tags in, Bronco Buster on Heather followed by Kawada Kicks. Heather sells against the ropes, Gigi goes for a Hesitation Dropkick, but Concierge pulls her away so Gigi crashes and burns. Ref is distracted, Ash gets in some cheap shots and then the Elegant duo starts working over Gigi. A few quick tags, but once Heather comes in, Gigi fights out of the corner, gets the hot tag to Tatum. Tatum stacks up both Elegance members, Corner Stacked Crossbody, Butterfly Suplex and an Elbow Drop with some some flare. Tatum goes to the top rope, Heather pulls Gigi off the apron, Concierge shoves Tatum off the turnbuckle and Ash hits Rarefied Air for the win.

Post match the Elegance Clique wants to make their wish with the cake, they light the candles and Tatum and Gigi recover enough to do what we all expected last week, the cake in the face spot. Some…suggestive licking from both of our Hot Topic Hotties, so…no complaints here. 

Fir$t Cla$$ & Frankie Kazarian vs Laredo Kid, Octagon Jr & Chavo Guerrero Jr

Chavo and Kaz start since he’s King Petty, a quick rope run turns into a Headscissor from Chavo. Kaz recovers, they lock up, Kaz hits the Knee Lift during the lock up to tag out to KC. KC pulls off some athletic dodges, gloats a bit so Chavo waits, measures and nails a gorgeous Dropkick. Laredo comes in on fire, quick high spots that send KC bouncing around like HBK against Hulk. KC powders after sells the Satellite Takedown, AJ checks on him and we go to commercial.

Back from commercial, Octagon is lighting up KC’s chest with overhand chops, he perches, Sunset Headscissor Flip from corner to corner, KC tries to Back Drop him but Octagon does a headstand, kicks KC away and lays him out with a high spot. AJ gets on the apron to stop Octagon from running the ropes, the referee has a stroke or something because he stops paying attention and AJ pulls Octagon out of the ring and chucks him. KC with the Tope con Hilo and tag (tag ropes haven’t mattered since the 80s we all know this). So AJ is getting taunted by the crowd in Spanish, but he’s manhandling Octagon since it looks like a Child fighting their parent. AJ knocks off Chavo and Laredo, Laredo pops up and tries to get involved but he’s caught on the shoulders, Octagon goes for the Crossbody but gets caught and AJ pulls off “World’s Strongest Wasteland” but Chavo breaks up the pinfall. AJ throws Octagon into the corner, Tennessee Whiskey, and tag out to KC. KC hits a few moves, but starts to lose the momentum until he connects with a Super Kick. Simultaneous rope run into the Dueling Crossbodies, so we get the timely tag outs from both sides. Kaz and Laredo come in, Laredo lands like two moves before Kaz hits a Sole Butt, Lariat and eats his lunch. KC and Kaz try to double team Laredo but he fights out and the crowd is chanting for Chavo.

Chavo tags in, and he’s rocking KC, Saito Suplex, Low Bridge to AJ, Reverse the Whip so Chavo goes to the corner and perches, KC feeds, Chavo Backflips to safety, rolls through and lays out KC. Chavo is feeling himself, 3 Amigos start on KC but only 2, Kaz comes in and Chavo switches to Kaz for the Amigos, only 2 again before AJ breaks it up. AJ goes for the disrespect, but Chavo counters and hits the 3 Amigos on the biggest Culero. Aztec Warriors dive to stop AJ and Kaz, KC tries a Dirty Victory Roll but Chavo kicks out. GORY BOMB into FROG SPLASH!

Chavo looked fantastic and he’s the one in the best shape in the ring. I wouldn’t be mad at more Chavito. 

Jacy Jayne vs Masha Slamovich

I expect very little from this match.

Collar and Elbow, gator rolling for the first 30 seconds or so, then Jacy goes to some Hair Pull takedowns and does a little taunt before Masha pops back up and hits a Lariat into a Dive. Jacy sells it like she’s really hurt, even the ref tries to hold Masha back a little before Masha gets annoyed and just grabs her, Masha throws her in, looks for a Dive and Jacy sees it and powders. Masha tries to go back to the well for the Dive again but Jacy hits the Uppercut and then an Apron Run PK to drop Masha. Forearms rain down into a Foot Choke as Jacy continues to arrogantly play to the crowd. Another Foot Choke into a Cannonball, and near fall.

Masha gets space with a Sole Butt, tries to snap off Requiem but Jacy fights off, fights through a Sunset Flip another effective PK keeps Masha on her ass. Jacy looks for a kinda half-assed Camel Clutch as Masha is fighting up, but Jacy runs her into the corner, gets distracted mouthing off to the crowd, so Masha recovers, 5 Hole Up Kick sends Jacy into the corner, Yakuza Kick into Capo Kick for two. Requiem attempt again, but Jacy pushes off, a little back and forth, Masha tries a Backslide but Jacy gets away and hits a V-Trigger but only a 2 count. Jacy looks for the Discus Punch but Masha ducks it, they strike back and forth, but some dodges from both leave the exchange more even. Jacy with the Front Kick to the face sends Masha to the outside. Jacy wants another PK, but Masha blocks, Electric Chair Apron Snake Eyes. Masha throws her in, a PK into a near all. Requiem attempt 3, and thwarted from Jacy with a Superkick into a Neckbreaker. Senton misses from Jacy, Buzzsaw Kick, into Spinning Back Kick and Russian Death Device for the win.

Better than I expected, and Tessa attacks as soon as the bell rings. Xia Brookside and Lei Ying Li make the save after Tessa grabs the belt. 

Eric Young w/two losers vs Ace Austin

Ace and Eric tie up, World of Sport start but as soon as Ace starts to get away EY punches him in the face. Eric looks at the camera and says “This is what trust looks like”, turns his back on Ace, when Ace looks to attack, the loser duo cut him off. EY takes advantage of the weird situation, but Ace with some Up and Over quick spots, into an Inside Cradle and La Magistral. EY kicks out of the quick flash attempts, but eats a Dropkick, and Ace goes all Speed Kils on him with fast strikes and then a face buster for another near fall. Strike spot very early in the match, Ace gets the best of it, goes for a Tear Drop Suplex but EY sits on it to block, Headlocks to keep him close and then a snap Lariat into beatdown bully tactics. EY takes the referee’s attention and one of the nerds punch Ace in the face.

Eric tries to lean on Ace, but Ace fires, a few strikes, Click Click Boom, the Miz Seated Lariats in the corner, Mochizuki Triangle Kick connects! Only a 2 count, but Ace seems to be in control. Ace puts EY on the ropes, a few strikes to keep him rocked, wants a Superplex, but EY blocks, bites the face and Macho Elbow gets a very close two count. EY tries the Piledriver but Ace turns it into a Jacknife Cradle,Spinning Heel Kick, calls for The Fold, but the losers hop on the apron to distract, Ace attacks them. Ace tries to time out the Triangle Kick again, but Eric dodges, throws Ace head first through the buckles. As Ace stumbles out of the corner, Piledriver, and it’s over.

Oh look it’s the “we’ll hear from Joe Hendry” segment. Again, I’ve loved this gimmick since Day 1, even didn’t hate his What Culture Pro stuff, but there is such a thing as milking a cow too much. 

Elijah interrupts the whole “Who’s next” speech. When Elijah comes out he says he’s not the challenger and he believes in Joe. The crowd wants Elijah to turn on Hendry. Elijah pauses for a moment, and starts proving his friendship with stating his favorite color and a little “You Got a Friend in Me”. The crowd is into singing along and waving their cameras like Lighters to a 30 year old song. THANKFULLY Kaz breaks up the hug fest. Now he gets the “Culero” chant. 

Kaz pulls out a Bass…what the hell is this Jam Session. Kaz has to warm up so he plays “La Cucaracha” on the bass. Kaz…is a national treasure. Hendry kicks Kaz out of the ring after his Heelish and playfully racially charged song choices. Kaz tries to sow dissension, but Joe and Elijah pinball Kaz between them. Kaz slips a power move and tries to shove Elijah into Joe but Elijah puts the brakes on, a small tense moment. But then Joe and Elijah play “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey, Goodbye”…and that goes right into a commercial. Oddly…perfect.

Nic Nemeth w/Ryan Nemeth vs Leon Slater

Nic shoots the half immediately for a flash pinfall but Leon kicks out at one. Nic continues to keep things grounded with his amateur wrestling skills, and then does a little Dolph Ziggler show off. So Nic isn’t really taking this seriously, and Leon starts getting the best of things with an Arm Wringer, into drag, Shoulder Tackle and rope run as Nic tries to Leap Frog and Leon puts on the brakes and just shoves Nic on his ass. Nic gets annoyed, a few strikes, grinds his face along the ropes, but Leon keeps stringing some offense together, Back Handspring Elbow into his Corner con Hilo.

Ahh the classic formula of the commercial gives the heel the advantage, Twisting Suplex from Leon stops Nic’s offense momentum, right hand, Leon lifts Nic up for something, Nic slips it, kicks him in the gut, looks for the FameAsser, but Leon catches him into a Blue Thunder Bomb variation. Slater wants the Swanton 450, but Nic powders. Leon tries to adjust into a Dive, but Nic cuts him off, counter for counter and a FameAsser out of the counters for a two count. Nic starts the big brother tactics, bootwashes and arrogance, Slater fires, punches into a Yakuza Kick. Leon wants another Lethal Injection variant, but Nic catches him into a Rear Naked Choke. Slater tries to turn it into a pin so Nic breaks it. Leon wants a Leg Lariat but misses and gets unceremoniously dropped by Nic. Nic puts Leon up on the buckles, Superplex possibly but Slater counters, tries to collect himself for a move, but Nic falls into the ropes to crotch Leon, and finally hits the Superplex.

Twist of Slate from Leon, Swanton 450 but knees get up. Locomotion Cradles from both but they kick out, Ryan picks the ankle to trip up Leon just a touch and then Danger Zone ends the match.

Ryan starts the post match beatdown, but the Hardy’s music hits and they come down to the ring for the save. Matt challenges the Nemeths for Rebellion because they’re not medically cleared yet.

 

Overall Score: 6.5/10

Decent story motion, no match was offensive, and there was actually some solid match action for television standards. I don’t have a ton to complain about aside from the Knockouts Division is in a weird spot, and giving Hendry a lot of just talking and hollow payoff segments feels stupid. If we need to hear from him every week, give him a talk segment like Highlight Reel or something. Yes I know First Class just got The Penthouse, but if Hendry is going to talk more than wrestle, give him a talk segment for us to sink our teeth into.

There was the announcement that Xia, Lei Ying and Masha will face Tessa, Jacy and a mystery partner. So you gotta wonder if there’s going to be another NXT mercenary, a surprise return or if it’ll just be Rosemary since she’s got her issues with Xia. Also I just realized that Unbreakable is going to be on a Thursday, seemingly after iMPACT? I’m gonna have to see how they do it, because if there’s an Impact episode and 2-3 hour PLE…I do not want to be awake until 1am. People need to work, and I will be Unwakeable if things go that long.

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