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Mitchell’s WWE Monday Night Raw Report! (12/11/17)

Published

7 years ago

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All images courtesy of the WWE’s official Twitter

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • Bayley & Mickie James w/ Sasha Banks VS Absolution w/ Sonya Deville; Absolution wins.
  • Finn Balor VS Curt Axel w/ Bo Dallas; Balor wins.
  • Seth Rollins VS Sheamus; Rollins wins.
  • “Second Chance” Fatal 4 Way: Ariya Daivari VS Tony Nese VS Cedric Alexander VS Mustafa Ali; Alexander wins and faces Drew Gulak in a WWE Cruiserweight Championship #1 Contender’s match.
  • WWE Intercontinental Championship: Roman Reigns VS Cesaro; Reigns wins and retains the IC Championship.
  • Asuka VS Alicia Fox; no contest.
  • Dean Ambrose VS Samoa Joe; Joe wins.
  • WWE Universal Championship #1 Contender’s Match: Kane VS Braun Strowman; double count-out.

PLAY BY PLAY

Roman Reigns is the WWE Intercontinental Champion, but Samoa Joe has staked a claim.

The Destroyer wasn’t done with going after Roman, for last week, he made sure the other members of The Shield did not reclaim the Raw Tag Team Championships to end last week’s episode. Lines have been drawn, tonight is all about settling scores!

 

Samoa Joe is already in the ring!

He knows the fans know of The Shield, “one of the most dominant forces in the history of the WWE.” It didn’t matter who you were, the Hounds of Justice would pounce. Joe has seen the Shield up close, but he is not impressed. He is not impressed by Seth Rollins, a man whose leg snapped on Joe’s first day on Raw. He is not impressed by Dean Ambrose, a man who does everything he can to avoid Joe. And he is “damn sure” not impressed by Roman Reigns, who he has put to sleep again and again. Joe knows he has Ambrose tonight, but here’s out here now to finish business with Reigns! Not the Big Dog and the “Lap Dogs”, just Reigns. We see The Shield watching this from backstage. Rollins tells Ambrose to tell Reigns. Joe grows impatient, he knows he’s dominant and intimidating. Roman remembers, right? Joe does. If it wasn’t for Jason Jordan, Joe would’ve ended Reigns right there. Joe takes credit for keeping The Shield from being “a grand stable of imperial champions”, and there’s nothing Roman can do about that! Samoa Joe doesn’t need The Bar, doesn’t care about Rollins or Ambrose, Samoa Joe stands on his own two feet! If it wasn’t for The Shield, Roman would be NOTHING. If Roman doesn’t agree, then come out and prove Joe wrong. Roman tells The Shield that he’s “got this.” And out comes Roman to the ring!

They brawl the moment Roman hits the ring! Roman backs Joe down, stomping a mudhole into him. Joe slips away, here comes The Bar! Roman knocks them each away and Joe fights back, it is now 3v1! The Shield reinforces Roman and goes after The Bar. Joe has Roman in the Coquina Clutch! Ambrose spills the others over and goes after Joe himself. Sheamus bails Joe out, Rollins returns and goes after both of them, but now Rollins is stuck 3v1! A-Swiss-ted White Noise takes out The Architect! Ambrose crawls back in, but now he is victim of 3v1. The Bar hold Ambrose up and feed him to Joe’s yurinagi slam. The Shield is down, do they have a chance of standing up against Joe and The Bar?

 

Bayley & Mickie James w/ Sasha Banks VS Absolution w/ Sonya Deville!

Raw’s Women’s Division is helping the Women’s Revolution grow stronger, but strongest of all is Absolution. The Glampire rubs in how she defeated the Legit Boss, but now she and Mandy Rose vow to “purge the division of the feeble and the unworthy.” Or in other words, the Huggable One and the returning veteran. Absolution is a symphony of carnage, and the music is about to start.

Mandy and Bayley start, Bayley tackles Mandy but Paige tags in. Bayley backs off, Paige gets the edge but then gets put into the corner, tag to Mickie for a double suplex, that Mandy saves Paige from. The Absolution women are both sent out of the ring, Paige is furious already. Bayley flies onto Mandy, then Mickie flies onto Paige! Absolution in trouble as we go to break.

We return to Bayley fighting out of Mandy’s headlock. Bayley snapmares and gives an elbow to the back, a sliding lariat and then one more elbow drop, cover, TWO! Mandy retaliates with a running knee, TWO! She puts Bayley in Absolution’s corner, tag to Paige, and Paige gives Bayley knee after knee within the ropes. Paige roars before giving Bayley another knee, TWO, so she grabs Bayley’s arm and mocks her. Bayley fights back, Paige stomps her out and even gives her a headbutt. Paige gives Mickie a cheap shot, Absolution then mugs Bayley in the distraction. Paige gives Bayley a Shining Wizard, cover, TWO. The fans rally, Paige sets Bayley up for more knees in the ropes, but Bayley counters to trip Paige up! Bayley crawls, Paige stops her, Bayley shoves her away, hot tags to Mandy and Mickie! Mickie rallies, kicks away on Mandy, and hits a jumping clothesline. She goes to put Mandy in a corner, Mandy gives a back elbow, but then she runs into Mickie’s flapjack!

Sonya gets on the apron but takes a shot for it, Mickie climbs up and flies for the seated senton! Paige breaks it up, Bayley tackles her and unleashes stomps. Mickie goes after Mandy, Paige blasts Mickie with a kick! Absolution wins! With this victory, is Raw going to be Absolution’s to rule?

 

Bray Wyatt is here. But so is WOKEN Hardy!

“This is nothing new. It has always been darkness versus light.” Morning and night, good and evil, it is Bray’s favorite game. WOKEN Hardy says “The Great War has perpetuated for eons!” Now, it continues on WWE’s Raw! Hardy is yin to Wyatt’s yang, and he has been waiting. The darkness shall be illuminated by the WOKEN WISDOM and BROKEN BRILLIANCE. Hardy is a liar! Hardy is a modern-day golden calf. Moo. Hardy’s words mean nothing, but Hardy is familiar with Sister Abigail. Abigail contracted an addiction to darkness, and was consumed by evil. Her horrendous soul habitats Bray Wyatt. Why follow a jester when you can walk behind a king? Choose your side wisely, for only one can survive. WOKEN WARRIORS prepare for battle against the Wyatt Swarm, and they shall… DELETE! Both men laugh like madmen, who will prove themselves the madder?

 

Raw is curious about Nia Jax’s interest in the Certified G.

Nia asked those infamous three words, “How You Doin’?” However, Enzo’s more in love with the Cruiserweight Championship. He asks what “Gabba Gulak” can do for Enzo. There was a major announcement. There is a Second Chance Fatal 4 Way to find a man worthy of fighting Drew Gulak for the right to be #1 contender to the Cruiserweight Championship. Gulak feels he will be that contender to face Enzo for the title, but Enzo tells him to be worried more about Mustafa Ali, Ariya Daivari, Cedric Alexander, Nia Jax- Nia Jax? Did Enzo mention Nia Jax? No… Why? She’s not on the 205 Live roster. Oh, Gulak sees what this is! It is a lesson, that Gulak needs to be prepared for anyone, even Nia Jax. Yeah… Enzo got away with that one, but when will Nia Jax next pop up?

 

Finn Balor VS Curt Axel w/ Bo Dallas!

The Miztourage is still going strong, as Curt Axel no longer needs that neck brace. The Miztourage also mocks Finn’s entrance, will they regret it very quickly? Axel might regret throwing his neck brace at Finn! However, Axel and Bo jump Finn right away, getting a 2v1 advantage! The match has not started but Axel unloads forearm hammers on Finn. The referee keeps Axel back and checks on Finn, Finn wants to go, so the bell rings and Axel is right on him again. Axel snapmares and neck-snaps Balor, TWO. Axel doesn’t slow down, he keeps Finn grounded with an armlock and chinbar. Finn gets up but is brought back down, knee to the spine before another chinlock. Fans rally for Finn, jawbreaker gets separation. Finn dodges Axel in a corner, then again to give chops. Axel swinsg and misses, gets a slingblade! Finn then blasts Axel with a dropkick, that bad neck keeps Axel down, COUP DE GRACE! Finn wins and sweeps the Miztourage! Can the Extraordinary Man keep this up all the way towards a title match?

 

Kane speaks to Braun Strowman.

“Tonight, you and I step into The Abyss.” They both know what it’s like to squeeze a man into surrender. Kane will delight to enter with a fellow monster, but he will climb out alone and smiling. Kane will crush more than Strowman’s throat, and that he will compete against The Beast, Brock Lesnar. At the Royal Rumble, the Big Red Machine vows to become Universal Champion. Can Kane make good on the first step tonight?

 

Seth Rollins VS Sheamus!

The Architect may not be one-half of the Raw Tag Team Champions, but he will relish this chance for 1v1 revenge against the Celtic Gladiator! The order came down that this match will ban all allies from ringside, both men will have to do it alone. The referee has to keep the piece as Sheamus puts his gear to the side, but when the bell rings, Rollins goes right for him! Sheamus shoves Rollins away, Rollins comes right back and gives chop after chop. Rollins’ whip is reversed, but he slips out of the tilt-o-whirl to then dump Sheamus out. He keeps going, and DIVES to knock Sheamus down! Rollins puts Sheamus into barriers, then pursues around the side to bump him off the apron. They go back around and then into the ring, Sheamus clobbers Rollins. Sheamus takes time to catch his breath as Rollins slowly stirs, then reels Rollins in for a lariat. Rollins gets to a corner, Sheamus comes over to give heavy right hands.

Sheamus embraces the heat fans are slinging at him, he stomps and stands on Rollins’ head. Sheamus brings Rollins up and hits a delayed backbreaker, TWO. Rollins is bumped off buckles now, Sheamus gives him forearms in the back. Sheamus stomps an Irish Mudhole into Rollins, then embraces even more heat as he goes Super Saiyan for the kick. Rollins dodges and kicks back with an enziguri! Sheamus is dazed, Rollins up and throws right hands and chops. Another whip reversed, ROllins dodges for the Slingblade! Rollins boots Sheamus away, flying blockbuster! He clotheslines Sheamus out of the ring, The Architect fires up and slingshots over. Rollins lands on his feet, Sheamus gets him with knees on reentry to send him flying back out.

The Celtic Gladiator is in control as we go to break.

We’re back and Sheamus grinds Rollins with a chinlock. Sheamus taunts Rollins as Rollins works to stand up. Rollins gives Sheamus a jawbreaker, then puts out a foot as Sheamus comes in. Sheamus blocks the kick and uses that leg to fling Rollins into the mat!

Rollins clutches that leg, Sheamus goes right after it with stomps and knee drops. Sheamus puts Rollins in a stretch muffler, hanging Rollins upside-down by his bad leg. Rollins endures, sits up, and throws hands, then huricanrana into a pin! Sheamus rolls through to the Cloverleaf! Rollins endures again, reaches for ropes, and pushes himself up but Sheamus drags him away! Rollins with the small-package counter, TWO, Irish Curse Backbreaker slipped through for a DDT! TWO! Sheamus’ toughness keeps him in this match, Rollins drags himself to a corner to recover. Both men stand up, Rollins dodges and then rolls Sheamus, TWO, MULE KICK! TWO again, Rollins’ leg hurts too much for him to be frustrated. Sheamus and Rollins stand up, Rollins grabs Sheamus but gets a back elbow, Sheamus gives Rollins a shinbreaker against a buckle! Rollins is down, Sheamus climbs up, Rollins gets up to stop him. Sheamus fights Rollins off on the top rope, Rollins topples down again, but then springs right up for the SUPERPLEX roll-through to Falcon Arrow!

The leg slows Rollins down on that cover, TWO! Both men are down, fans are rallying, Rollins is first to stand up. he brings Sheamus up, swings him out, but fireman’s carry! Rollins fights out but Sheamus trophy lifts him into the rolling senton! Sheamus fires up now, fans boo and jeer as he calls for the finish. Rollins is up, he ducks the Brogue to SUPERKICK Sheamus and give the Kingslayer Knee! Rollins wins! Will Rollins’ knee be okay so that he and Ambrose can challenge for the Raw Tag Team Championships once again?

 

Backstage interview with Dean Ambrose.

The Shield is up 1-0 against their opponents tonight, and with The Big Dog defending his Intercontinental Championship, what is The Lunatic’s strategy for going against Samoa Joe given the opening brawl? Strategy? Ambrose just wants to win. Ambrose will avoid getting kicked in the face, being put in the Coquina Clutch, and giving away his strategy out in the open. Joe cost them the titles, and now wants after Roman? Ambrose is overheated, thanks for the pep talk. Can Ambrose survive Samoa Joe in their first-ever match-up?

 

“Second Chance” Fatal 4 Way: Ariya Daivari VS Tony Nese VS Cedric Alexander VS Mustafa Ali!

The Outlandish Rich Swann lost his opportunity do to circumstances in his personal life, but that just gives four Cruiserweights who lost a chance to rise again. Drew Gulak joins commentary to watch this match-up personally.

Will it all be ‘Zo Train for the Cruiserweight Championship after the night is through?

The bell rings, all four men stare down, but it is the Carolina Kid that sparks the action as he goes after The Premier Athlete. The Pakistani Prince brawls with the Privileged Persian, the two brawls end up in opposite corners. Daivari keeps on Ali, whip but Ail flapjack dropkicks. Alexander shoves Nese, ducks, handspring headscissors and dropkick! Alexander and Ali are alone again, deja vu. They move fast with takedowns and covers, Ali rolls but Alexander kicks out, back slide cover, TWO, Ali headlocks but Alexander powers out and we have a stand-off. Ali gives elbows and chops, then a whip but Alexander gives a European Uppercut. Alexander runs, NEse dumps him out, but Ali goes up top to FLY on them both! Ali is fired up, he puts Alexander in the ring, Daivari pounces with a lariat! Daivari goes to Alexander now, TWO, which upsets Daivari. He hammers away on Alexander, then gets upset with the ref for reprimanding him. Daivari puts Alexander in a chinlock, trash talks in Farsi, fans rally and Alexander gets up. Alexander fights back but is clubbed down, Daivari puts him on the apron only for Alexander to come back in with a springboard complete shot!

Cover, Nese breaks it. Nese throws Alexander right into buckles, Ali ducks under Nese for a stiff set of chops. Ali whips, Nese reverses and gives a pumphandle lift, Ali slips out but gets run over. Nese gives Alexander a back kick, whips but is reversed, Nese eats Daivari’s discus elbow! Daivari hesitates, takes Alexander’s back elbow, Ali come sin for a tilt-o-whirl DDT! All four men are down, fans are loving it as we go to break.

We return to see Ali down in Daivari’s chinlock. Ali endures the wrench, fights out and whips but Daivari reverses for a big spinebuster and high cover, TWO. Daivari is frustrated as he puts Ali back into the chinlock. He trash talks in Farsi again, Ali gets up and fights out again. Daivari clubs him down and throws him at the buckles but Ali slips out and kicks Daivari away. Fans slowly fire up, Ali hits the rolling facebuster! TWO, Nese is back to give Ali a knee and a deadlift, but Ali fights back. Ali is put in the corner but elbows out, hops up and boots Daivari away, Nese springs up with an uppercut! Nese puts Ali back up on the top rope, climbs up but Ali elbows him away. Nese is in the drop zone, Ali takes aim, 0-5-4! Alexander breaks the pin! He and Ali have unfinished business, they throw fast and furious hands on each other. Stiff back elbow from Ali, then a slap, Ali runs but into the Spanish Fly! Lumbar Check!!

Daivari throws Alexander out, covers, but Alexander drags Daviari out. They brawl, Nese FLIES outta nowhere! Nese puts Alexander in the ring, brings down a knee pad, Premier Kneese! Ali breaks the pin! Everyone is sore and frustrated, but that’s the nature of a fatal 4 way. The ‘Zo Train regroups and targets Ali, who valiantly fights against them both. It doesn’t work, double whip but Ali kicks Daivari away. Nese is thrown out, Alexander flies in! Roll-up from Daivari, TWO, handspring Neuralizer! Alexander kicks Nese away, then hits Daivari with a Lumbar Check! Alexander wins and will face Gulak next week!

In-ring interview with Cedric Alexander.

“This was my second chance! And I plan on taking full advantage of it.” Alexander calls out Gulak, saying he will move on to face Enzo and become the NEW Cruiserweight Champion! Will Gulak be able to keep his promise to the Certified G and keep challengers away?

 

Drew Gulak reports to Enzo Amore.

The other challenger is Cedric Alexander, so when “Gabba Gulak” deals with him, it’ll finally come down to Gulak VS Amore and Gulak will become champion! What was that? Nothing, just “friendly” trash talk. Who said they were friends? Gulak works for Enzo on the ‘Zo Train. Gulak wins one match and he’s suddenly thinking they’re equals? Enzo will keep it real, by first saying the PowerPoint Presentations are only one word! And that word is- informative? Get out of here… And how you doin’, Nia? Just fine. Nice to see you, Enzo. And you, too, Drew. Nia likes his powerpoints. Enzo was gonna say the same thing! yes, informative, that’s what they are. Nia would like to talk with Enzo, but when Enzo’s not busy. What is the Certified G to make of this situation?

 

WWE Intercontinental Championship: Roman Reigns VS Cesaro!

The Big Dog promised to be a fighting champion, so another Raw means another Intercontinental title defense! Can Roman keep the title in his Yard when faced with the Swiss Cyborg?

The bell rings, and the fight is on as Cesaro goes right at Roman, only to be knocked back and stomped in a corner. Cesaro gets out of the ring, Roman pursues, they go back in the ring and Cesaro stomps Roman upon reentry. Roman takes European Uppercut after EuroUpper, but then he runs and runs Cesaro over. He starts rallying, jumping clothesline floors Cesaro. Roman gives Cesaro close-range clotheslines, Cesaro slips out to hotshot that arm. Cesaro then boots Roman, Roman boots back! Roman clotheslines Cesaro out of the ring, and catches his breath as we go to break.

Back again, and Cesaro wrenches Roman’s arm in a high keylock. Fans rally, Roman gets to his feet but Cesaro reels him in for a lariat, TWO. Cesaro keeps on the bad arm with a wristlock. Fans keep rallying, Cesaro keeps the torture up, Roman endures the twists and bends. Cesaro says no one likes Roman, so Roman should just give up. Roman still endures, slowly turning and standing up. Cesaro tries to keep Roman down but Roman headbutts and kicks back, Mahistrol cradle! TWO, EuroUpper countered, they both use power and the backslide goes, TWO. Roman dodges Cesaro then rolls him up, TWO, into an armbar and Cesaro hammers away on the shoulder before putting on the Fujiwara!

Roman endures again, Cesaro brings him to the cneter of the ring. Cesaro keeps up the torque, Roman wills his way to his feet, and then throws Cesaro to a corner. Roman keeps Cesaro in the corner, then back suplex slams him to the mat! Both men down from exhaustion, Roman blocks punches to give headbutts. Cesaro down on the ropes, Roman goes to the outside for the Drive-By dropkick! Cover, TWO! Roman and Cesaro are slow to stand up, but Roman is up nonetheless. He takes aim, locks and loads, Cesaro swats the bad arm away! Cesaro traps the good arm in a Fujiwara armbar, then shift over to a crossface on the bad arm!

Roman endures the submission, works to stand up and powers Cesaro up for a Samoan Drop! TWO, Roman is running out of ideas. Both men are slowly stirring again, Roman crawling back to the corner. Cesaro blasts Roman with a EuroUpper, then rams him into the post shoulder-first! Roman tumbles to the floor, Cesaro pursues. Cesaro runs in, Roman boots Cesaro away, flying punch! Back into the ring, cover, TWO! They are both further exhausted, yet they are still able to stand. Roman lets the battle cry out, but Cesaro kicks the Spear away, flapjack EuroUpper!

TWO, but into the Crossface hold! Cesaro pulls Roman back, Roman endures and shifts, then powers Cesaro up again. Cesaro slips down, sunset flip to the Swiss Swing! Roman powers his way up to roll over Cesaro, deadlift powerbomb! TWO!! Neither man has given up, and the fans in Cleveland are loving it. Both men stir once more, and brawl on their knees. The brawl moves onto their feet, the referee reacts to Cesaro’s mouth guard falling out, so Cesaro takes advantage with a small package! TWO, Cesaro is shocked! He argues with the referee, but just turns his frustrations on Roman. Roman in a corner, takes more EuroUppers! The referee tries to cool him off, Cesaro brings Roman out for the Neutralizer, only for Roman to power out, and SPEAR!! Roman retains! It took so much out of both men, can Roman stay champion at this rate?

 

Braun Strowman responds to Kane.

“You tried to crush my throat and end my career. But a couple weeks ago, I sent you crawling out of the arena, gasping for air with a taste of your own medicine.” Tonight, Strowman will give Kane another dose, because he wants another shot at The Beast. Kane stands in his way, but not for long! The collision is coming, who will survive?!

 

Asuka VS Alicia Fox!

Alicia is the only woman crazy enough to want another go at the undefeated Empress of Tomorrow after already having lost to her once. But when the music hits, there is no Alicia to be found. Because Absolution returns!

What happened? Backstage with a bad elbow. In that case, this gives us time to talk. The Absolution has let Asuka walk away cleanly, but not even she can stop them. That leaves us in a pickle: move aside, or they’ll make you. Asuka doesn’t move.

The fans cheer her bravery, but Paige gives one last chance. Asuka still stands in their way. Well “No One is Ready for Asuka”, but she hasn’t faced Absolution. Asuka immediately takes out Mandy and fights off Sonya, Paige pounces. Paige hammers away but gets caught in an armlock! Mandy and Sonya save her, it is 2v1 and then three with Paige’s stiff knee. Absolution feeds Asuka to Paige, but here coems Sasha Banks and the rest of the Raw Women’s Divison! They run into the ring and outnubmer Absolution now! Nia Jax has Paige but Paige slips out, Sasha stuns Paige with a knee. Mandy is left alone against all the women, Asuka gets her with the spnining back hand. Nia runs Mandy over! Absolution retreats, the rest of Raw is united! Has Absolution’s plans absolutely backfired?

 

Raw GM Kurt Angle wants to make sure things are ready for the main event.

The last time Kane and Braun Strowman had a match, they literally went through the ring. The ring needs to be reinforced. Understood. But in comes Jason Jordan. He apologizes for how he acted last week. JJ let his “intensity” get the best of him. But, what happened to his match with Samoa Joe? After disrespecting Angle and then ruining the Raw Tag Team Championship match, no wonder Stephanie McMahon has been on Angle’s case. Just put JJ in a match! Calm down! It isn’t a good situation, or an easy one, but Angle is JJ’s dad. Angle wanted to get at Joe personally, but he’s not just a dad but a GM. But JJ can beat Joe! JJ survived so many other legends, he can hold his own. As a GM, Angle reminds JJ didn’t win any of those matches. JJ will have his match when Angle says, not when JJ wants it. “Okay, dad.” Or is it, “Okay, Kurt”? JJ storms out, what can the Olympic Gold Medalist father do about his Gold-Blooded Son’s temper?

 

Dean Ambrose VS Samoa Joe!

Ohio’s favorite Lunatic goes up against the Samoan Destroyer for the first time anywhere, who will survive the violence and madness? The bell rings, Joe spots Jason Jordan with a chair? JJ is just going to watch, the same way Joe did last week.

Ambrose goes after Joe in that opening, speeding up but bouncing off Joe! Joe stomps Ambrose down, then drags him up to give him knee strikes and jabs. Joe runs, Ambrose dropkicks out a leg, Ambrose puts Joe in a corner to trap a leg and throw down hands. Ambrose runs to dropkick that leg, then gives it a dragon screw. Joe slides out of the ring, Ambrose slips out to pursue. Ambrose runs in and clubs Joe on the back, then bumps Joe off barriers. Ambrose refreshes the count before giving JOe a leg sweep against the barriers. He keeps on Joe’s leg with kicks and even a chop block before putting him in the ring. Ambrose climbs up, JJ watches as he jumps over Joe, Joe dodges and back elbow to Pele! Joe lets Ambrose tumble out as we go to break.

We return to see Joe holding Ambrose down in a half straitjacket. Ambrose gets up as fans rally, and fights out of the hold. Ambrose chops and runs but Joe runs him over, topping it off with a back senton, only to miss! Joe and Ambrose are both slow to get up as fans rally again, and they brawl. Ambrose gives jabs and chops, jabs and chops, Joe just gives jab after jab. Joe watches Ambrose stagger then gives him more jabs. Ambrose slaps Joe, Joe gives him an elbow, Lunatic Lariat into the yurinagi but Ambrose slips out. Ambrose boots Joe, Joe runs in but takes an elbow, Ambrose runs and knocks Joe down. He rallies now, runs corner to corner to forearm smash Joe, Joe powers out of the bulldog and gives another elbow, Lunatic Lariat hits! Both men down again, JJ is watching eagerly. Joe grabs Ambrose, Ambrose suddenly goes for Dirty Deeds but Joe counters with an Exploder!

Joe mocks JJ, JJ approaches the ring, Ambrose takes advantage again with a knee and roll-up, TWO! Joe kicks Ambrose, powerbomb lift but Ambrose fights out to headscissor Joe over and out with him! JJ sees them crash down but assures he’ll leave Joe alone, to instead help Ambrose into the ring. Joe gets JJ with a Coquina, Ambrose DIVES onto them both! Back into the ring now, Ambrose climbs up, JJ on the apron, flying elbow! The distraction lasts too long, the cover is counted late, TWO! Ambrose realizes that and glares at JJ.

The Lunatic slips out and goes up to JJ to get in his face. JJ grabs Ambrose, JOE DIVES! He puts Ambrose in the ring, gives JJ a back senton, then puts Ambrose in the Coquina! Ambrose flails, fades, Joe wins! Did Joe only win because of Jason Jordan? Joe doesn’t care, because he won.

 

Dana Brooke is backstage with Titus Worldwide.

She is so grateful to be accepted into the group! They’re excited to have her, as the official Titus Worldwide Statistician/ Head of Research & Development! Statistics? Research and development? No, no, The Club thinks that’s for… NERDS!

But here comes BRAUN!

No more talk, time for war!

 

WWE Universal Championship #1 Contender’s Match: Kane VS Braun Strowman!

Raw’s resident monsters have collided time and again ever since The Big Red Machine returned, but now it all comes to an end one way or another. Will it be the Devil’s Favorite Demon or the Monster Among Men that challenges The Beast at the Royal Rumble?

The bell rings, Strowman powers Kane to a corner and drives in shoulder after shoulder and even a headbutt. He doesn’t let Kane slip away, either, rocking Kane with right hands. Strowman goes corner to corner for a big clothesline in the corner, then a running dropkick! Cover, TWO, and Kane escapes to the outside. Strowman pursues, Kane gets the upper-hand now but is soon reversed and thrown into steel steps. The ref counts, they return inside the ring, Kane kicks Strowman on reentry. Strowman doesn’t slow down at all, Kane backs down but is backed down by force. Strowman goes corner to corner again but Kane dodges. Kane grabs Strowman, CHOKE SLAM!

TWO! Kane is furious, so he hammers Strowman’s head with elbows. The Big Red Machine backs off to let Strowman get up, another choke slam! TWO! Kane is further frustrated, he doesn’t understand how Strowman is enduring these attacks. He looms over Strowman, dragging him up by his throat. Strowman gives the choke back, Strowman choke slams Kane!

TWO, and Kane rolls out of the ring. He rests against barriers while Strowman recovers in the ring. Strowman comes out to pursue Kane, Kane gives that signature uppercut and now things move to the crowd! They brawl, big right hands back and forth, Strowman then tackles Kane through a barrier! The ring count climbs up and hits ten, it’s a double count-out?! The fans boo, this isn’t how they wanted the match to end. The same goes for Strowman, as he stalks a fleeing Kane. Kane kicks Strowman away, and keeps crawling away, but Strowman pursues. Strowman dumps Kane over the steel steps, then takes aim with those steel steps! Kane has the same idea, and now they go jousting with steel! Both monsters drop the steps, but Strowman fetches a cart. Kane won’t let his throat be crushed again, but Strowman wallops Kane with another right hand! They return inside the ring, fans want tables, so Strowman obliges! He puts the table in the ring, Kane gets out of the ring. Kane fetches a chair, and SMACKS Strowman’s knee with it.

Fans watch as Kane swings again, Strowman rocks Kane with one more right. Kane retaliates with more chair shots that SMACK against Strowman’s body! Kane jabs the chair edge at Strowman, but staggers from exhaustion. The table comes back into play as Kane stands it up. Fans are cheering as Kane returns to Strowman, but a double clothesline floors them both. Neither behemoth gets up, but Kane sits up. His eyes lock onto Strowman, Strowman sits up!

Kane is shocked by that! Strowman is up, and runs at Kane, but into a choke grip. Strowman uses his strength to counter, scoop Kane, and put him through the table!!

The Monster Among Men didn’t win the match, but he won the war! But the question remains: Who will face The Beast at the Royal Rumble!?

 

My Thoughts:

This was an interesting Raw. I’d think some of the haphazard feel comes from adjusting for certain extenuating circumstances. Even so, most of tonight was still fun, no major lull anywhere in the night. The opening segment was fine, though Joe could’ve paced his promo better, and it was a bit redundant to have a brawl when we knew about all the matches set up for tonight before tonight. Those matches themselves were great, though, as Rollins-Sheamus was solid as always, Roman-Cesaro was match of the night whether anti-Roman fans will admit it, and Ambrose-Joe was another solid match that also advanced the Jason Jordan Heel turn. Jordan’s turn is also going great, really, and he’s currently in the Tweener territory as he is making enemies with a lot of people. His playing on Angle’s paternal instincts is also key to his turn, this could go places to make a legit star out of JJ.

The Cruiserweights also have another great match, mixing the highlights from both previous fatal 4 ways into this “second chance” edition, like the standing Spanish fly counter Alexander hits Ali with. It made sense that if Swann was no longer eligible to be the chosen Face to face the top Heels, it’d fall to the other top Face to do it. Alexander has the ring talent and momentum to take down Gulak and then Enzo, but there is still an underlying bit of Face momentum that Gulak could easily tap into after that tense moment with Enzo backstage. I’m still hoping Nia just wants a manager, but it’d be hilarious if Enzo assumed she wanted something more and was rejected. On top of that, Nia and the rest of the Women’s Division is making things interesting by taking a united stand against Absolution. This better lead to the Women’s Rumble, because a single Six Woman Tag won’t be enough at this rate. The Universal Championship is the one curious piece for Raw right now. Balor wins a filler match, but he’s nowhere near facing Lesnar given how Vince is feeling. Kane and Strowman are suddenly given a #1 contender’s match but it all ends in a draw. Lesnar will show up next week, and Heyman will surely address this, but I think we all know the bottom line is that someone is only going to be fed to The Beast to hold him over until Wrestlemania.

 

My Score: 8/10

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Coverage

Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (3/28/25)

SmackDown in the UK!

Published

14 hours ago

on

March 28, 2025

By

London calling to the champion crowns!

SmackDown brings gold to London as LA Knight defends his WWE US Championship and The Street Profits defend their tag team titles! Will the landscape change this close to WrestleMania?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • WWE Tag Team Championships: The Street Profits VS Pretty Deadly; The Profits win and retain the titles.
  • Kayden Carter & Katana Chance VS The Secret Her-vice w/ Chelsea Green; The Secret Her-vice wins.
  • WWE United States Championship: LA Knight VS Braun Strowman; Braun wins, by disqualification, and Knight retains the title.
  • Charlotte Flair VS Mia Yim w/ B-Fab; Charlotte wins.
  • Randy Orton VS Drew McIntyre; McIntyre wins.
  • Jimmy Uso VS The Miz; Jimmy wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Cody Rhodes is here!

We follow The American Nightmare as walks to gorilla, then through the curtain, and London sings along with the song, “WHOA~ OH~!” Cody gets his pyro, says hello to fans along the ramp, and then we get the second “WHOA~ OH~!” and pyro. Cody goes to the ring, grabs a mic, then kneels down to kiss the WWE logo on the mat. The fans continue to sing along all the way to the end, “I AM MY KINGDOM!” The fans then cheer, and Cody holds up the belt to fire them up even more! The fans now sing for “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” and he soaks it in. The fans cheer again as Cody smiles, and he finally says, “So, London~! Whaddya wanna talk about?”

The fans chant “Let’s Go, Cena!” “CENA SUCKS!” Cody hears that dueling, and he smiles again. The song of “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” returns, then they cheer. Cody says, “At WrestleMania 41, I will be facing John Cena…” The fans boo, but Cody says, “I will be facing John Cena as he goes to break the record and win 17. But that is WrestleMania 41. In just a few nights, I will be standing face to face with John Cena in this very same city, in this very same arena.” The fans cheer that, but then here comes Randy Orton! Now the fans sing along with Voices as The Viper heads to the ring. Orton also high-fives fans before he joins Cody.

Orton grabs a mic, paces while the fans keep singing on their own, and then the fans cheer. Orton says he’s not really the sentimental type, but for Cody and for London, screw it. The fans chant “R K O! R K O!” and Orton tells Cody, “Look at you. Look at who you are now, the man you are now. Look at where he came from.” The fans cheer and sing “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” and Orton says he remembers a Cody in his early 20s, just breaking into the business. Cody was busting his ass harder than anyone else. He wasn’t exactly happy, and in fact, he was frustrated. But Cody was man enough, smart enough, to know he needed to grow, and that he couldn’t grow in the WWE.

Cody wasn’t exactly treated fairly in the WWE, so Cody left the WWE! That took some big ass balls to do what he did! Cody changed the business singlehandedly, and everyone in the back knows it. And Orton appreciates Cody for it. But then Cody came back, as they all knew one day he would. And the industry has been changed forever since the day Cody came back to the WWE. Cody is a bit teary eyed as Orton says Cody’s still the same guy, he just did what he set out to do, and he grew. Orton teases he would sing along with the fans, but the fans might leave. The fans again sing “CODY! CODY RHODES~!”

Orton asks if they remember when Cody Rhodes faced Seth Rollins in Hell in a Cell. The fans cheer because they do. Orton says that was impressive, and even impossible, as he started with a partially torn pec and then ended with a fully torn pec! His body changed all kinds of shades of purple that Orton’s never seen on a human body. The pain he must have been in. Cody persevered not just for himself. Maybe not even at all for Cody. It was not even for his family legacy; it was for each and every single fan out there! Then Cody went on to WrestleMania, beat Roman Reigns and finished the story!

But there’s always another story, isn’t there? And Cody’s right in the middle of one. Cody is in charge of his legacy, and it is a privilege for Orton to watch Cody take control of it. Ticket sales have been up, there’s more intrigue around the world, and listen to the people! It is 99.9% all because of Cody! The fans cheer that, and of course they sing. Orton says what he’s trying to say is a long-winded version of he respects Cody, loves him, and is very, very proud of him. The fans cheer that! Orton then says, “But… But now it is time for WrestleMania.” They both look to the sign, and Orton says he can guarantee Cody that Orton will kick Kevin Owens so hard in the head…!

Orton can just feel it already! He forgets how many days are left, but he can’t wait to remove Kevin’s head from his shoulders. And Orton knows Cody will enter champion, exit champion, but not before he beats the holy hell outta Cena all up and down the Vegas strip! But after all the smoke clears and the dust settles, just like Orton wants Number 17, there will come a time when Orton will want Number 15. But Orton won’t kick Cody in the balls like a coward. Orton will look Cody in the eye because he respects Cody, is proud of Cody, and sees him as an equal. Orton will look Cody in the eye and tell him that he’s coming for the title.

The fans cheer but wait! Drew McIntyre is here! The fans cheer the Scottish Terminator as he steps out on stage, mic in hand, and has a wry smile on his face as he looks at the ring. Drew waves as the fans now sing, “OH~ Drew McIntyre~!” Drew says, “Isn’t this wonderful? A couple of nepo babies having a love fest in the middle of the ring> It makes me absolutely sick. What’d you just say, Randy? if Cody gets through Cena at WrestleMania, you’re coming for that title? What exactly have you done since that big comeback to justify that title match? Aside be Randy Orton. The only big moment I can remember is you being on the shelf for months and months and months.

“People like to make jokes about it, but more people talk about my five-minute-45-second title reign than your entire comeback so far! So get to the back of the line, sunshine! As for you, Cody, you should’ve listened to me. But you shunned me. You attacked me. Everybody should’ve listened to me about John Cena, but they didn’t. And the next night, he kicked you right in the twig ‘n’ berries, proving me right as usual. And the main event of WrestleMania should be Cody Rhodes VS The UK’s only ever world champion, Drew McIntyre!” Fans do like that idea. But sadly, it’s not, because of that guyliner wearing Temu Undertaker, Damian Priest!

Drew wants to talk about what is happening. And what’s gonna happen! Drew steps up to the ring while fans sing for him again. Drew says it will not be Randy that takes the title from Cody, should he get through Cena; it’ll be McIntyre. The fans cheer, but Orton says they were trying to have a moment. Can Drew just cut the crap already? Drew says okay, sure. He’ll tell the truth, because that’s all he ever does. The truth is, Kevin might have a point! If those Voices are talking to Orton again, then they know Drew very, very well. And he’s thinking, “My God, Randy looks great! Absolutely jacked! On the outside.”

On the inside, that back is hanging by a thread. And if Orton provokes McIntyre, McIntyre will break him. And as for Cody- Cody kicks Drew and UPPERCUTS him! The fans fire up, and Orton R- NO, Drew gets away! The fans boo, but the battlelines are drawn! Even if Cody makes it out of the frying pan that is Las Vegas, it’ll be into the fire that is these contenders waiting in line! Will the American Nightmare be ready for whoever comes for the crown?

 

WWE Tag Team Championships: The Street Profits VS Pretty Deadly!

Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins are finally golden again, but it’s time to put the titles on the line already! And while they’re ready for the grind, they’re up against the hometown heroes! Will the Profits still be up in the O2? Or will Kit Wilson & Elton Prince say #YESBOY to a new reign of their own?

The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see who really wants the smoke!

The teams sort out and Kit starts with Dawkins. They tie up, Dawkins headlocks, but Kit powers up and out. Dawkins runs Kit over, the fans fire up, and Dawkins fires hands on Kit in the corner! The fans rally for Pretty Deadly, Dawkins whips Kit to a corner, but Elton takes that bump! Kit CLOBBERS Dawkins, then tags Elton! Atomic drop into DROPKICK! Ford runs up, but into a DOUBLE HIP TOSS! Dawkins whips, Elton reverses, and then Elton hurdles so Kit can DDT! The fans fire up with Pretty Deadly while the Profits bail out. Pretty Deadly has control while SmackDown goes picture in picture.

Elton is right on Dawkins as he gets in, and UPPERCUTS him to the corner. Elton clinches Dawkins for another UPPERCUT! Tag to Kit, and Elton RAMS into Dawkins so Kit can UPPERCUT! Dawkins flops over, Kit drags him up to wrench the arm. Kit whips, Dawkins reverses, but Kit grabs ropes. Kit ELBOWS Dawkins, DECKS Ford, but Dawkins CLOBBERS Kit! The ref reprimands but Dawkins RAMS Kit into the corner again and again! The ref counts, Dawkins fires fast hands, then he tags in Ford. Ford says, “SUCK IT!” then he KICKS Kit! Ford scuffs Kit, then drags him to a cover, TWO!

Ford keeps Kit down with a facelock, but Kit endures the grind. Kit fights up, fires body shots, but Ford whips him away. Kit sunset flips! Ford rolls through, and PENALTY KICKS! Ford mocks Elton with the Scott Hall fingers, and the ref has to keep Elton back. Ford drags Kit up, tags Dawkins, and the Profits mug Kit. Dawkins CLUBS Kit down, then stalks him. Dawkins stays between Kit and Elton, then whips Kit into the Profits’ corner. CYCLONE- NO, Kit dodges! Ford tags in, he keeps Kit from Elton now, but Kit slips out of the suplex! Kit fakes high to go low, hot tag to Elton! Elton rallies with LARIAT after LARIAT!

Elton kicks and whips Ford to a corner, then UPPERCUTS! Elton whips the other way, UPPERCUTS again, and then does it again! Elton adds to the hattrick with a lift, Ford says a quick prayer before the SUPLEX! Ford flounders, gets to his feet, but Elton dodges to springboard and FLYING UPPERCUT! Cover, TWO! Ford stays in this, but Elton stays on him. SmackDown returns to single picture and fans rally for Pretty Deadly as Elton gives Ford a back suplex. Ford lands out, waistlocks, but Elton switches and shoves Ford. Ford CLOBBERS Elton in return! Ford is also dazed but he covers, ONE!

Kit reaches out, Elton and Ford both crawl, hot tags to Kit and Dawkins! The fans fire up as Dawkins wrenches Kit, underhooks and SILENCER! Dawkins Electric Chair Lifts Kit, Ford climbs, but Kit slips free! Kit shoves Dawkins into Ford! Ford falls to the floor, but Dawkins ENZIGIRIS Kit! Elton tags in, and Kit LARIATS Dawkins! Pretty Deadly combine for DRY MARTI-KNEES! Cover, TWO!! Dawkins survives and the Profits are a bit unsure of what to do next. Dawkins crawls to a corner, Elton runs up, but Dawkins dodges! Elton hits buckles and Dawkins TOSSES Kit, then Dawkins hits a SKY HIGH on Elton!

Dawkins hurries to tag Ford and Ford climbs up! But Kit pushes Elton out of the way! Kit takes FROM THE HEAVESN, and Elton ghost pins Ford! TWO!! Ford escapes, and he ROCKS Elton! Elton UPPERCUTS Ford! Dawkins sneaks a tag, Ford SUPERKICKS! POUNCE SAIDO COMBO!! Cover, KIT BREAKS IT! The fans fire up while all four men are down! The teams go to opposite ends, then they all stand up in the corners. They all roar, all run in, and Kit SPEARS Ford while Elton FLYING UPPERCUTS Dawkins!! London is thunderous, and Kit hurries to tag in! Pretty Deadly gets Dawkins up, for SPILT MILK!! Cover, FORD BREAKS IT!

The fans are shocked, as is Elton, but Ford saves this for his team! “This is Awesome!” as Ford runs up and Elton TOSSES him out! Now DRY MARTI- NO! Dawkins doesn’t accept the second serving, and he DUMPS Kit out! Kit skins the cat while Dawkins DECKS Elton! Dawkins catches Kit to an Electric Chair! Ford rises, DOOMSDAY BLOCKBUSTER!! Cover, Profits win!

Winners: The Street Profits, by pinfall (still WWE Tag Team Champions)

Pretty Deadly put up a heroic fight, but the hometown heroes could not capture the gold. Dawkins & Ford hold onto the gold, will this be the strongest the Profits have ever been?

 

Kayden & Katana talk with Zelina Vega.

Carter & Chance know La Muneca got screwed over by The Green Administration. Chelsea thinks she’s untouchable, but someone’s gonna stop them eventually. Well, speaking of, Alba Fyre leads the way in as she & Piper Niven “scope the perimeter.” There’s one small threat. They frisk the “miniscule” threat, but nothing they haven’t dealt with before. Chelsea struts in and says, “The Eagle has landed~!” Zelina says she is so glad the “Bootleg Men in Black” have crashed the party. Now, yeah, they all know she’s small. But clearly this small “threat” is a big threat to Chelsea’s title reign. Otherwise, it wouldn’t have taken all three of them to beat her.

KC Squared agree with that. How about tonight, we see what happens when the odds are even? Chelsea says that’s fine, because Agents P & A are ready. The Secret Her-vice has been given their next mission, but will they be able to crash the party? Or will the party crash them?

Kayden Carter & Katana Chance VS The Secret Her-vice!

SmackDown returns and The Green Administration makes their entrance. The teams sort out, Alba starts against Katana, and the two tie up. Alba KNEES low, CLUBS Katana down, then fireman’s carries. Katana fights free, tags Kayden, and they KICK, double whip, and then trip Alba up for the basement DROPKICK! Katana adds a slingshot SENTON, Kayden covers, TWO! Kayden tags Katana, they double whip Alba to a corner, then Kayden runs in. Alba DUMPS Kayden out, ROCKS Katana, and she tags Piper! Katana arm-drags Alba out, then goes out to run up. Kayden gives her a boost, Katana CROSSBODIES Alba down!

The fans fire up, but Piper goes up and out?! CANNONBALL and down goes KC Squared! Piper salutes Chelsea and SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns, Kayden rallies on Alba while the fans rally up. Kayden fires up, runs in and whips, but Alba reverses. Kayden wheelbarrows, victory rolls, then SUPERKICKS! Kayden fires up again but the fans are torn. Kayden runs in at Alba to BOOT WASH her against the ropes! Chelsea protests, Kayden kicks at her, then Kayden springboards for a LEG DROP! Cover, TWO! Alba survives, Kayden whips, but Alba KICKS back! Tag to Piper, but Kayden jackknife bridges Alba! The ref explains bout the tag, Piper runs up, but Kayden moves! The SENTON hits Alba! Piper panics, Kayden tags Katana!

Katana goes up onto Kayden’s shoulders, VICTORY ROLL LAUNCHER, but Piper catches Katana! Katana fires hands, BOOTS, and then hurries to go up again. Kayden ROCKS Piper, and fireman’s carries?! SAMOAN DROP! Kayden then gives Katana the boost, for the KEG STAND SPLASH!! Cover, ALBA BREAKS IT! Kayden runs up on Alba to BOOT her out! Katana gives Kayden the boost now, SUPER CROSSBODY onto Alba! Kayden hurries to tag back in, and she brings Piper up. Piper swings, Kayden dodges and SUPERKICKS! Katana goes up, Piper staggers over that way, but Chelsea distracts the ref!

The fans are torn as Alba grabs Katana. Katana kicks Alba down, chases Chelsea off, but Piper sends Kayden into her! Piper scoops to PIPER DRIVER!! Cover, Secret Her-vice wins!

Winner: The Secret Her-vice, by pinfall

The Women’s US Champion helps her team, and now they all mug Kayden & Katana! But here comes Zelina! Vega runs down the ramp, CLOBBERS Alba, and then she gets in the ring! Zelina tilt-o-whirl DDTS Piper! And she KNEES Alba off the apron! But Chelsea CLOBBERS Zelina! Chelsea fires up, the UK is oddly with her, and she chicken wings Zeina. But Zelina fights free to fire forearms and body shots! And a BACK ELBOW! Zelina reels Chelsea in, CODE- SUPERKICK from Alba! SENTON from Piper! The Green Administration is just too much for Zelina to fight against alone! But can she, Kayden & Katana find a way to turn things around?

 

WWE United States Championship: LA Knight VS Braun Strowman!

Did the Mega Star just get this title back from Shinsuke Nakamura? YEAH! Did he help the Monster of All Monsters fight off Solo Sikoa’s rouge bloodline? YEAH! And now, does he have to defend this title against the monster he just helped? YEAH!! But will Knight still reign this close to WrestleMania? Or will Braun #GetTheseHands back on a championship?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and it’s time for Knight’s biggest challenge, YEAH!

The bell rings and the fans rally up as the two circle. The two tie up, and Braun SHOVES Knight away. Knight comes back, Braun SHOVES him down again! Knight gets up, gets around, and he headlocks. Braun powers up to back suplex, but Knight lands out! Knight tries but Braun’s too big to suplex! Braun ELBOWS Knight, storms up on him, but Knight fires haymakers! Knight whips, Braun reverses, but Knight KICKS back! Knight runs, but Braun HIP TOSSES! Cover, TWO! Knight stays in this, but Braun brings him up. Braun puts Knight in a corner, CHOPS, then runs, for a SPLASH! Knight sputters along ropes, Braun keeps moving, but Knight DUMPS him out!

The fans fire up as Knight then WRECKS Braun with a dropkick! Knight keeps moving, and he WRECKS Braun again! The fans fire up with Knight, but then Braun BOOTS Knight down! The fans are torn but Braun stands tall as SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and Braun puts Knight back in the ring. The fans cheer as Knight KICKS Braun! Knight tries again, but Braun’s still too big to back suplex! Braun CLUBS Knight, then runs in at the corner. Knight BOOTS Braun, goes up, and FLYING BULLDOGS! Both men are down and the fans fire up! Knight and Braun rise back up, and Knight dodges a shot to JAB! Then he dodges to JAB! JAB! JAB! “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” But Braun KNEES low! Braun scoops, Knight slips free, and Knight RAMS Braun into buckles! Then the BACK SUPLEX! The fans fire up and Knight rises again! Knight spells it out, “L! A! KNIGHT! YEAH!” ELBOW DROP! Cover, TWO!

Braun has plenty left in the tank but the fans rally for Knight. Knight stands Braun up to kick low, but Braun THROWS Knight away! Knight rises, and Braun LARIATS Knight up and out! The fans fire up as Braun rips the shirt! Braun gets on the track, and he runs in, STROWMAN EXPRESS MEETS JACOB FATU!! The Samoan Werewolf strikes Braun down!

Winner: Braun Strowman, by disqualification; LA Knight retains the title

The fans boo as Jacob now goes after Knight! He just ruined what was becoming a great match, but Jacob fires HEADBUTT after HEADBUTT on Braun! SAMOAN DROP onto the desk!! The desk doesn’t budge, but Braun might’ve been broken in half! The UK fires up for Fatu as he puts Braun in the ring! Jacob fires more HEADBUTTS, then HEADBUTTS away on Braun in the corner! The fans sing “OLE~ OLE OLE OLE, FATU~, FATU~!” Jacob runs corner to corner, but Knight kicks him first! Knight fires haymakers, “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” Jacob denies the BFT to POP-UP SAMOAN DROP! And then HIP ATTACK for Braun anyway!

Jacob keeps going, HIP ATTACK for Braun again! Jacob throws off his jacket, glares at Braun, and he runs in for a third HIP ATTACK! Braun flounders into the drop zone, so Jacob goes up, up, BEST MOONSAULT EVER! Direct hit on Braun, but the fans want that “ONE MORE TIME!” Jacob obliges, BEST MOONSAULT EVER! The Samoan Werewolf just tore up #OneBigSOB and LA Knight, will there be no stopping him from taking the United States Championship?

 

Backstage interview with Jimmy Uso.

Jackie Redmond is with #BigJim, and she says that while she knew WWE was going global this month, she did not know they’d get the slap heard ’round the world! Jimmy says he’d do it again, and he’ll slap Gunther as many times as he needs! Jimmy knows Jey is up in his own head, doubt is creeping on him. But just because Jey’s 0-3 against Gunther doesn’t mean Gunther’s unbeatable! The Ring General CAN be got! Jimmy’s going to Raw this Monday, he will bust Gunther’s ass, Jey will go to Mania and bust Gunther’s ass to become the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. And then they leave Las Vegas just like this: YEET!

Jimmy heads out, but then The Miz & Carmelo Hayes walk by. Miz is mocking Jimmy’s words, and he asks excuse me. Miz says it’s just funny that suddenly, Jimmy is a tough guy, even though for most of his career, he’s been “The Other Uso.” Doesn’t Jimmy get it? Jimmy and Jey are career sidekicks while Gunther is a main character. Gunther is the lead, neither Jimmy nor Jey can beat him. And here’s another thing: The Usos are just blips on the trailer that was Roman Reigns’ Bloodline. Melo says Jimmy & Jey are stuck outside the club, they can’t even get in.

Miz says as a former WWE Champion, a former WrestleMania main eventer, Jimmy will never know what it is to carry this industry. And after this year’s WrestleMania, neither will Jey. Oh, and by the way, if Jimmy ever slapped Miz like that, Jimmy would still be on the ground. Jimmy feints the slap and Miz freaks out. Jimmy says it may be him and Gunther on Monday, but he’ll holler at Aldis real quick so it can be Jimmy VS Miz here tonight. Yeah, YEET! Jimmy heads out, Melo says he thought Miz was gonna do something about the slap. Will Miz have to do something about running his mouth before he gets his teeth kicked in?

 

Solo Sikoa & Tama Tonga find Jacob Fatu backstage.

Solo asks Jacob what the Hell he was doing out there. Jacob goes out there alone without saying a thing to them? Jacob says he ain’t gotta say nothing to nobody! Matter fact, didn’t Solo not tap in with him last week? Tama says, “But Jacob,” only for Jacob to say, “But nothing, Tama!” Solo wants Jacob to lower his tone, but Jacob says okay. Let him be very clear with them. When it comes to Braun Strowman, Jacob WILL be the last man standing. Y’all better get in where you fit in, cuz that US title? Oh, Jacob’s bringing it home to the family. And he will do it with them, or without them! Yadada mean? Fatu heads out, is the Samoan Werewolf no longer following Solo?

 

Naomi speaks.

“I mean… How did we even get here? I don’t know. One thing that I do know is that I’ve always been the woman to do the right thing. I’ve always been the woman to do the right thing. So Bianca, what makes you think that my attack on Jade was anything different from me doing the right thing? When I sit here and I think about all that I’ve sacrificed, all that I’ve given, and that’s what really breaks my heart. Because through all of that, I’m made to be the bad one in this situation. I just don’t understand, how does Jade come in outta nowhere and take my place with you? I want you to ask yourself this, Bianca. Who inspired you? Hmm?

“Who’s inspired women over the last decade? Who’s always had your back from day one of you being here? Me. Not Jade. Hmm. But you know what? What I’ve learned through all of this: You teach people how to treat you. And I’m done with being treated as a third wheel. I’m done being pushed to the side, I’m done with being too nice, I’m done with being undervalued, underutilized, underappreciated! So moving forward, hmm… Moving forward, here’s my message to you, Jade. If you continue to be in my way, I strongly advise you to proceed with caution.” The Glow shows her dark side, but will the storm be moved?

 

Nick Aldis meets with Jade Cargill.

Speaking of, the SmackDown General Manager understands things have been rather difficult for her as of late. Jade says she’s been trying to get her hands on Naomi for the past few weeks, now where is she? No one has seen her all day, so as far as anyone knows, Naomi’s not here. Well, when Jade catches Naomi, it’s on sight. Jade leaves, B-Fab & Michin are there. They let her know that what Naomi did to her was straight trash, totally uncalled for behavior. And after Jade gets her hands on Naomi, she’ll handle that business. Jade agrees. Mia says they’ve all got business to handle. Jade’s got Naomi, and Mia’s gonna get Charlotte for messing with her girl, B.

B-Fab says Naomi’s got what’s coming to her: no sympathy, no regrets. Jade, just do what you gotta do. Oh, she will. Jade also wishes Mia luck tonight. Mia & B-Fab head out, will the Head Baddie in Charge make the Queen bow down in London?

 

The darkness approaches.

“You are as I was. As I am, you will be.” The shadows are starting to take shape, but is SmackDown about to fade to black?

 

Charlotte Flair VS Mia Yim w/ B-Fab!

The Queen looks down on everyone, so it’s no surprise that everyone else wants to take her down. Charlotte may have checked off B-Fab, but will the HBIC be a much different story? Or will Charlotte only sharpen her edge before facing Tiffany Stratton at WrestleMania?

WAIT! NAOMI ATTACKS B-FAB & MICHIN! Naomi drags Mia up for a FACEBUSTER! Naomi rains down fists, the ref reprimands and the fans boo, but Naomi tells the ref to back off. Naomi then BOOTS B-Fab off the apron! Naomi goes out after B-Fab to THRWO her into barriers! Naomi SLAPS B-Fab, tells her to stay down, but B-Fab gets up. Naomi fires hands, then she SMACKS B-Fab off the desk! Naomi rains down fists, but here comes Jade! Jade hurries down the ramp, she runs around the way, but Naomi runs away! Jade makes sure B-Fab is okay, but refs have to help her to the back. And what of Mia? Will she even be able to compete?

Charlotte makes her entrance, not really caring about what Naomi just did to Mia. But that means she also crosses paths with Jade. The fans like the look of this stare down, but Jade and Charlotte both let the other slide. Charlotte gets her pyro, and it seems she’ll still get her match. Will Mia be little more than an appetizer now?

The bell rings, and Charlotte BOOTS Mia down! Cover, TWO! Mia stays in this and the fans rally up. Charlotte just struts around while SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns, Charlotte has Mia down with a chinlock, but the fans rally up. Mia fights up, fires body shots, and she then blocks a shot to ROCK Charlotte! Mia ROCKS Charlotte again and again, then reels her in for a TORNADO DDT! The fans fire up as Mia hurries to cover, TWO! Mia drags Charlotte up, wrenches, but Charlotte says no to Da Feet! BIG back suplex! Mia stagger sup, Charlotte whips her, but Mia reverses! Charlotte goes up and out, BOOTS her away, then slingshots in and rolls Mia! Mia rolls through and BUZZSAWS! Mia runs corner to corner, but Charlotte avoids the cannonball!

Charlotte YAKUZA KICKS Mia down, then fires herself up! The fans “WOO~!” as Charlotte has Mia in the drop zone,. Charlotte steps on her, goes up the corner, but Mia gets underneath her! SIT-OUT POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO! Charlotte survives and Mia is shocked! Mia nods as the fans rally back up, and she brings Charlotte up. But Charlotte ROCKS Mia! Mia SOBATS, PELES, and then runs to PENALTY KICK! Cover, TWO! Charlotte stays in this, Mia grows frustrated, but the fans continue to rally. Mia uses that energy to stay focused, and she stalks Charlotte to waistlock. But Charlotte ELBOWS her away!

Charlotte CHOPS, and CHOPS, and CHOSP! Charlotte winds up, and she CHOPS again! Mia sputters, but then she dodges the boot! Charlotte is caught, and Mia hits a SAIDO! Charlotte flounders to a corner, the fans rally behind Mia, and Mia runs up, CANNONBALL! Mia hurries to wrench and EAT- NO, Charlotte shoves Mia away! Charlotte gets under, back suplexes, but Mia lands out! EAT DA FEET!! Cover, ROPEBREAK!! Charlotte’s long legs help her survive by a literal foot! Mia is beside herself while Charlotte bails out. Mia storms after Charlotte, runs up, but Charlotte dodges! Mia’s kick hits steel steps!

Mia hobbles away, goes to the apron, but Charlotte CHOP BLOCKS the bad leg out! Charlotte grabs Mia’s leg, drops a KNEE on the knee, but fans chant, “We Want Tiffy!” Charlotte just steps through, FIGURE FOUR, into FIGURE EIGHT!! Mia taps, Charlotte wins!

Winner: Charlotte Flair, by submission

Charlotte got more of a fight out of Mia than expected, but she still won. Will The Queen be more than ready to reign again after WrestleMania?

 

Backstage interview with Tiffany Stratton.

Jackie Redmond is with the WWE Women’s Champion and says Charlotte certainly looks confident. Let’s be real, Charlotte came at Tiff pretty hard. It got a lot of people talking. Tiff says yes, people talk. And Charlotte sure loves to hear herself talk. Ten years into the business and Charlotte is still so insecure that she can’t let a “rookie” get a word out. But last week, Tiff did learn something: She learned that walking into WrestleMania, she isn’t the one with something to lose. Truth is, if Tiff loses, then she lost to the great Charlotte Flair, as just a 25-year-old rookie with one year into SmackDown.

But if Charlotte loses… Well, then she lost to an “undeserving, delusional, unoriginal, backflip doing, blonde-hair-having, little girl.” Did she get it all? And Tiff can’t wait to hear the look on Charlotte’s face when they hear the words, “And STILL!” Then maybe Charlotte will finally shut up for the sake of literally everyone! They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, and Tiff will make damn sure what stays is Charlotte’s massive ego. Tiff is walking into and out of Mania as the WWE Women’s Champion. Tootles! Tiff heads out, will it still be #TiffyTime after WrestleMania?

 

Randy Orton VS Drew McIntyre!

The Viper told Cody how proud he was, but also how he wants the next shot after John Cena. The Scottish Terminator took offense to that, and basically said he is taking that shot instead. Will this match be an unofficial #1 contender’s match between these two former world champions?

SmackDown returns and McIntyre makes his entrance. The bell rings and the fans sing, “OH~, Drew McIntyre~!” and chant “R K O! R K O!” Drew and Orton circle, tie up, and they go around in a deadlock. Drew powers Orton to a corner, but Orton headlocks back. Drew powers up and out, then he runs Orton over! Orton hurries to ropes and Drew mockingly asks, “How’s the back feel, Randy?” Orton stands, he and Drew reset, and the fans duel some more. Drew calls for a knuckle lock, Orton accepts, but then Drew kicks low! Drew bumps Orton off buckles, then climbs up, but he panders for too long and Orton YANKS him down!

The fans fire up as Orton climbs now! Orton rains down fists, and the fans count to nine. Orton hops down, brings Drew around, and POSTS him for ten! Drew tumbles out of the ring, Orton goes out after him, and they’re by the desk! But Drew kicks Orton first and SMACKS him off the desk! Drew clears the desk, and he brings Orton up for the DESK- NO, Orton fights free! Orton turns things around, DESK BACK SUPLEX for Drew! The fans fire up while Orton leaves Drew behind, and SmackDown goes picture in picture.

Drew writhes on the floor, but Orton goes out to fetch him! Orton brings Drew around, UPPERCUTS him, then says one more time! DESK BACK SUPLEX! Drew writhes as that desk stays standing! Orton grins, refreshes the ring count, and then he storms up on Drew. Drew pokes Orton in the eye! Drew POSTS Orton now, then brings him around to RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP into barriers! Orton slumps down, and Drew also grits his teeth from that double-edged attack, but Drew fires up as he stands tall. Drew drags Orton up, puts him in the ring, then stalks Orton. Drew looms over Orton, and HIP DROPS him!

Orton sputters, Drew says one more time, and he winds up for the HIP DROP! Drew paces around Orton, says maybe one more time, and he pretends he can’t hear the fans. Drew winds up again, but Orton flips over! Hip drop meets kneecaps! And then Orton pokes Drew in the eyes! The ref reprimands but Orton rises up. Drew sputters and flounders, Orton ROCKS him with a right! Drew ROCKS Orton back! Drew storms up, Orton kicks low, but Drew fires another haymaker! The haymakers go back and forth, Orton gets the edge, but Drew GLASGOW KISS HEADBUTTS! Cover, TWO! Drew clamps onto Orton with an armlock!

SmackDown returns to single picture and the fans rally up. Orton fights up, pries at the chinbar, and then throws right hands! Drew CHOPS Orton in return! The fans “WOO~” and Drew winds up. Drew ROCKS Orton again, eggs him on, then CHOPS again! Drew shoves Orton to a corner, CHOPS again, then dares Orton to fight! Drew whips corner to corner, but Orton comes back to LARIAT! And LARIAT! Drew swings, Orton dodges, SNAP POWERSLAM! The fans fire up as Orton stalks Drew to the apron. Drew HOTSHOTS Orton first! Drew then runs in, but Orton puts him through the ropes!

The fans fire up as Orton has Drew for the DRAPING DDT! The fans fire up for Orton, and Orton hears those voices! Drew rises, but then Orton spots KEVIN OWENS! The Prizefighter is on the ramp, Orton glares at him, but then he turns around into a CLAYMORE!! Cover, DREW WINS!

Winner: Drew McIntyre, by pinfall

Kevin’s mere presence costs Orton, and now Drew has a huge win propelling him down the Road to WrestleMania! As for Orton, Kevin drags him out of the ring, SMACKS him off the desk, and then climbs up to join him! The fans boo but Kevin and his hot pink sneakers have Orton in position, but Orton slips free and TRIPS Kevin up! Kevin hits the desk then the floor! Orton staggers around, the fans rally behind him, and Orton stalks Kevin to the corner of the barriers. Orton lines up the shot! Orton runs in, but Kevin jumps over barriers! Security is there to stop Orton from pursuing, so Kevin runs away into the night!

The fans boo, but The Viper was that close! Will Orton be able to strike Kevin down and completely take him out?

 

Fire, thunder, smoke…

The force of nature is drawing ever closer. And he’s ready to fly! REY FENIX arrives next Friday Night SmackDown!

 

Jimmy Uso VS The Miz!

#BigJim gave Gunther a piece of his mind and a mark on his cheek, but it seems not everyone got the message. Will the Hollywood A-lister soon star in the Uso Penitentiary? Or will he prove Jimmy is NOT ready for a world champion level opponent?

The bell rings and the two tie up. Jimmy powers Miz to a corner, Miz turns things around, and the ref counts. Miz takes a swing, Jimmy ducks it to CHOP! And CHOP! Miz shoves Jimmy back, then runs up, but Jimmy TACKLES Miz! Jimmy rains down fists, Miz shoves him away to go to ropes, but Jimmy storms back up. Miz ELBOWS Jimmy away, then runs back up, only for Jimmy to LARIAT him down! The fans fire up while Jimmy storms up on Miz. Jimmy CHOPS Miz, has him in a corner, then whips corner to corner. Miz reverses, Jimmy goes up and over, then UPPERCUTS! Miz staggers back to ropes, but Jimmy is right on him.

Jimmy whips, Miz reverses and kitchen sink knees! Then basement BOOTS! The fans fire up, Miz scowls, and Miz KNEES Jimmy in the back again and again. Miz stalks Jimmy to the ropes now, and he CHOKES Jimmy! The ref counts, Miz runs, and Miz STRADDLE ATTACKS! The fans boo, but Miz runs again. Jimmy ducks the boot, then dodges a lariat! Jimmy runs up to LARIAT Miz up and out! The fans fire up and Jimmy builds speed, but Miz runs away! Jimmy smirks as he goes out the side, and UPPERCUTS Miz over the barriers! Jimmy makes sure Gunther knows he’s coming to get him, but SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and both men are down. Miz and Jimmy crawl, and Jimmy pounds the mat. The fans rally, Jimmy rises and runs up to LARIAT! And LARIAT! And mule kick! Jimmy then UPPERCUTS Miz, dodges a lariat, then SAMOAN DROPS! The fans fire up, Jimmy goes to the corner, “UCE! OH!” Jimmy runs in, but Miz puts him on the apron! Jimmy UPPERCUTS again! Jimmy climbs, leaps, but Miz gets under! Miz then waistlocks, ripcords, and MOVIE MAKER! Fans boo that blatant parody, but Miz full nelsons! Jimmy drops, victory rolls, TWO! Miz has the cover, TWO! Miz hurries to BASEMENT DDT! Cover, TWO!

The fans rally up as Jimmy survives! Miz stalks Jimmy, the fans rally up more, and Miz fires a KICK! And then another KICK! The fans say “YES! YES! YES!” to the It Kicks, but then Miz winds up. Jimmy ducks the buzzsaw, Miz blocks the superkick, but the DRAGON WHIP connects! Miz rebounds to B-MOVIE KNEE!! Cover, TWO!! The parodies don’t get it done, but Miz still has his original work to fall back on. The fans rally for “UCE! OH! UCE! OH!” Miz runs in, A-LIST LARIAT! Miz shoves Jimmy down, then springboards, but into a SUPERKICK! Jimmy hurries up top, for the USO SPLASH!! Cover, Jimmy wins!

Winner: Jimmy Uso, by pinfall

Miz may be a movie star, but Big Jim’s the one winning this main event! Jimmy then borrows Joe Tessitore’s headset to call out Gunther! He’s coming after dat ass on Monday! Gunther won’t be the ring general, he will be “Private Gunther,” and he will salute Big Jim! Uh, uh, YEET! Will Jimmy be the one making examples out of the World Heavyweight Champion? Or will everything come crashing down when Gunther gets his turn?

 

Drew McIntyre returns backstage.

And he says hey to Lewis Capaldi, the Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter, and also a big fan of Drew’s. They’re ready to have a good night in the pub, but Jackie Redmond walks over to congratulate him on the win tonight. She was hoping to get some thoughts on that victory and what happened with Orton and Kevin. Drew says it’s alright, this is what happens. He doesn’t care about anybody else’s business, but no one gets away with screwing him over. And when no one meddles in his business, he wins! Drew called out Priest, where is he? Priest doesn’t have the balls! So time to get mad in the pubs, everyone’s invited!

Drew turns the corner, but PRIEST IS THERE! Priest ROCKS Drew, SMACKS him off the door, then throws him into road cases! Priest ROCKS Drew, SMACKS him off the trunk of a car, and then again! Or since it’s London, “the boot.” The driver complains, but Priest BODY SLAMS that guy through a table! Drew comes back to KNEE Priest low, SMACK him off the trunk, and then off the side! They go to the hood, or bonnet for UK. Drew drags Priest up, but Priest CLAWS Drew’s eyes! Priest then sends Drew SOUTH OF HEAVEN through the windshield! Priest tells security that he’s done for now. Any more jokes, Drew? Didn’t think so! RIP, jackass!

Priest leaves, the producers hurry to help Drew, and Drew’s got glass in his eye! Will that glass help Drew see why he shouldn’t piss off the Punisher?

 

CM Punk heads to gorilla.

He has a security detail with him, and he passes by Drew writhing in pain. Punk chuckles, then continues on. Will his contract signing with Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins be just as brutal? We find out, after the break.

 

Nick Aldis is in the ring.

The SmackDown General Manager welcomes us back, and says it is his honor and privilege to be here in the O2 in London. Now, we all know why he and this table is here, and why additional security is here tonight. Tonight, we are here to sign a contract for a Triple Threat. Perhaps the biggest Triple Threat in the history of WrestleMania: Seth Rollins VS CM Punk VS Roman Reigns! The fans cheer all those names, and here comes the OTC! London puts the ones up, and Paul Heyman accompanies THE Tribal Chief out on stage. Roman raises his finger to the sky for the pyro, then security follows him to the ring.

SmackDown goes picture in picture as Roman’s entrance continues, and he raises his finger to the sky for the second round of pyro. Roman steps into the ring, SmackDown returns to single picture, and Heyman hands him a mic. The fans sing, “ROMAN! ROMAN REIGNS~!” Roman nods, the fans cheer, and now they chant, “O T C! O T C!” Roman tells London, “ACKNOWLEDGE ME!” The fans cheer again, and again chant, “O T C! O T C!” Roman smiles, but he sees the chairs are not to his liking. Heyman makes sure to put one at the head of the table. Heyman also dusts the chair off while Roman enjoys the singing of, “ROMAN! ROMAN REIGNS~!”

Roman takes a seat and says that was beautiful. The way they sing to their Tribal Chief, it’s just beautiful. The singing continues, and Heyman even joins in! Roman smiles, and he says that is what he’s talking about. That’s the OTC for you, baby! The biggest star on the planet! The OTC came here for two reasons. One: to be acknowledged; check! And two: to sign this contract. Roman does just that, and he says he’s checked both boxes. That means- “BURN IT DOWN!” Seth Rollins interrupts! The fans now sing, “WHOA~ OH~ OHH~!” Rollins struts out in his red wine paisley suit and conducts the O2 Choir all the way into the ring.

The fans cheer while Roman frowns, but Rollins takes the seat to Roman’s left. Rollins offers Heyman a chance to sing to this song, but Heyman frowns. Rollins chuckles, and he says the fans do have beautiful singing voices. He doesn’t know why Roman is in such a hurry to leave, though! This is their building! There’s a lot of history here! 12 years ago, they landed on the roof of this place in a helicopter! They came down those stairs over there, “ready to burn down the old guard!” They put the Undertaker down through the desk, and they were going to remake this company in their image!

Now don’t get him wrong, Rollins knows a lot has happened since then. They fought against each other, with each other, a little bit of love and a whole lot of hate. But Rollins dare says, as the fans continue to sing “WHOA~ OH~ OHH~,” that Rollins and Roman accomplished their mission. The fans start to chant for CM Punk, but Rollins tunes them out. Roman says, “We? We? You keep saying we. Our mission? We died a long time ago. It’s only been ME. You been here, but I done all the work! I’ve made this place what it is today! I took us to the level that we are here today! I made this place better than we found it!

“I’m the one that made us desirable to Netflix! I’m the one that took us into billion-dollar deals! Tell me, what have you done?” Rollins shouts, “I’ll tell you what I’ve done! YOU, YOU, YOU, it’s that mindset that keeps me having to screw you! You understand that? And your biggest mistake is not understanding the danger that’s right in front of us! The danger that’s right in front of you! You let the biggest snake in the world, CM Punk, into the garden! And you could’ve cut his head off at WarGames! But instead, you shook his hand. You could’ve let me finish him inside the cage at The Garden, but you didn’t. And now, I am left to do what I always do: Clean up your mess, again.”

Rollins drops his mic, picks up the pen, and signs his part. And now, here comes CM PUNK! The fans fire up and sing along with Cult of Personality, then join in on saying, “IT’S CLOBBERIN’ TIME~!” Punk goes to the ring, but as he grabs a mic, he goes up a corner, just like he did last Friday. “I have come here to chew bubblegum and sign a contract. And I’m all outta bubblegum.” The fans cheer the Rowdy Roddy Piper reference, and Punk hops down to take his seat on Roman’s right. Punk looks over said contract, but Roman asks if Punk needs a highlighter or something. What’s he doing? Just go to page four, clause five.

Punk does as Roman says, but Roman says Punk needs to hurry, this is precious TV time. Punk reads the segment, Roman tells Heyman to just smarten Punk up. Heyman tells Punk he knows what Punk is looking for. It is in there. They’re closing the show at WrestleMania. The fans go wild hearing that! Heyman tells Punk that he gets to live his dream of dreams. CM Punk will be a WrestleMania main eventer! The fans cheer and while Roman smiles, Rollins is furious. Roman says, “One man’s dream is another man’s favor! CHECK!” Wait, this was the favor? Rollins says no! This is not something to laugh at, and Punk does not get to tear up!

Punk is NOT deserving! He does NOT deserve this! The fans boo but Rollins continues to throw a fit! Main eventing WrestleMania is SACRED, the most important thing in the world to Rollins! More than anything! Except the fact that Punk NEVER gets to main event! This is all Roman’s fault! This is all Heyman’s fault! Rollins THROWS his mic down, paces angrily, but Punk picks up the mic. The fans cheer Punk on again, and Punk stands to thank London, to thank Chicago, to thank Louisville, Kentucky, and to thank ALL the fans. As corny as it sounds, he thanks the WWE Universe who stood by him and chanted his name for TEN LONG YEARS!

Roman says hold on, hold on. Punk shouldn’t be thanking the fans! He should be thanking the Tribal Chief! It is because of Roman that Punk gets this honor! So please, take this moment, close the show with that acknowledgement! Do this the right way. The credits are already rolling as Punk kneels before Roman!? Punk smiles, and he thanks “My Tribal Chief, the holder of the ula fala, the Head of the Table, the… Big Dog? Thank you for allowing a kid from Chicago to be graced by your presence. Thank you, My Tribal Chief, for allowing me to stand in your ring. And thank you so much. Thank you, Roman Reigns, so very much.

“But because of you, I will see you in the main event of WrestleMania.” And again, Rollins is agonizing over this. Punk finishes putting his signature on the contract, and London tells him, “You Deserve It!” Punk thanks Roman again, and then says, “But that’s not the favor that I’m owed.” WHAT?! Roman looks at Heyman and Heyman can’t look him in the eye! If getting this Triple Threat made into the main event isn’t the gift of the Wise Man, then what is?!

My Thoughts:

A good SmackDown, but they pulled off quite the paradox. They made it feel like they were struggling to fill three hours, yet they also filled the show to the point where that contract signing segment was almost bleeding over the three hour mark. Ironically, part of the problem was just how excited the London crowd was for this. The superstars still wanted to enjoy the chants and songs, but that’s time SmackDown doesn’t have to spare. It made the opening promo from Cody, Orton and Drew take longer, and it kinda did the same to the contract signing at the end. Even so, we still got a very good promo, and good stuff to set up Orton VS McIntyre.

Orton VS McIntyre was a great match, but of course Kevin costs Orton. McIntyre gets his win, Kevin and Orton have a bit of a brawl, but of course Kevin ends up on the losing end and runs off. McIntyre’s trash talk also comes back to bite him as Priest gets the better of him in their brawl. Here’s hoping Drew didn’t actually get glass in his eye, but that being the thing in kayfabe can be some good stuff. I can imagine McIntyre with an eyepatch, and he takes it off at the opportune time to get the better of Priest in their match. Also what a fitting choice for Punk to be passing by Drew suffering because of real glass.

Very good title matches tonight, but of course the status quo was kept. Pretty Deadly gets to look great here in London, but the Profits only just got the belts, they’re not going to be transitional champions like that. And Knight VS Braun was really good stuff, but honestly, Jacob Fatu going after them both should’ve been a given. Jacob also had a great promo with Solo & Tama to start adding to that divide between Jacob and Solo. I would hope Solo doesn’t screw Jacob out of the US Championship, but it feels like he will as Solo won’t stand for Jacob defying his authority, even though Solo’s been trying to make Jacob the champion all along.

Very good stuff from Jimmy Uso tonight, from his promo with #MeloDon’tMiz and then a great match with Miz. Their match ended up the de facto main event match, so that’s also great for both guys. Great win for Jimmy, but that’s likely because Jimmy is losing big time to Gunther on Monday. And it might just be me, but it feels like only now is the Jey VS Gunther build really moving, largely in part because Jimmy got involved. Jimmy’s promo after his match is something along the lines of what Jey should be saying. But I suppose as brothers, Jimmy is the one who knows Jey best and knows what Jey needs to be motivated again. And seeing Jimmy get beat up by Gunther will definitely motivate Jey…

Good final vignettes for Rey Fenix and Aleister Black. I’m a little surprised they confirmed Rey Fenix is showing up next week, and that they confirmed who Rey Fenix even is. I believe commentary confirmed Rey Fenix is Penta’s real brother, even namedropped “Lucha Brothers,” but all that is still surprising considering Fenix is going to start on SmackDown. Aleister’s vignette (at least I am fairly confident it’s his) was giving us glimpses of his silhouette, but I think there was usage of AI in the snake imagery. It was fine they did it for El Grande Americano because that is all trolling, but they really should try and do things the old fashioned way of photoshop and stock imagery.

Very good stuff in the Women’s Division tonight, though the WWE Women’s Championship portion was the weaker. Naomi’s got a great Heel persona going, her promo was great, and her going after B-Fab & Michin over them supporting Jade was a great detail. Jade runs Naomi off, helps B-Fab, but there was no helping Michin in being fed to Charlotte. Tiffany had a decent promo, and it does fit how Charlotte kept her from speaking so she finally gets things out here. It didn’t really add that much, though, but they already gave us a great brawl so not sure what more they can give.

KC Squared VS The Secret Her-vice was a very good match, but of course Chelsea made sure her team won. A Six Woman Tag of Zelina & KC Squared VS The Green Administration is certainly coming, to help give us Zelina VS Chelsea for the Women’s US Championship.

My Score: 8.7/10

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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 3.27.2025

Bad news out of the TNA management side, but this is a taped episode from El Paso! So we won’t see any of the fallout just yet!

Published

2 days ago

on

March 27, 2025

By

Now we all heard the news about the TNA change in hierarchy, and I…have no positive outlook on that. Delirious sucked at booking and creative in the dying days of ROH before it got bought as a B show. Dreamer having even more control is concerning because his ideas the last two years haven’t been much better.

Gail leaving makes more sense to me. Be it firing or a “you can’t quit, you’re fired” kind of situation, the Knockouts division is the worst it’s been in a long time and Gail was close with Scott D’Amore. So I don’t think Gail parting ways is as big of a problem since TNA has slowly been bleeding out with the Scott faithful.

Granted, I think the next few shows were already taped before the firing so things shouldn’t be completely unwatchable for at least a week or two. So let’s see where we’re going.

Ratings:

  • Gigi Dolin & Tatum Paxley vs Elegance Clique w/Personal Concierge: Ash wins via Rarefied Air – ** 1/4
  • Fir$t Cla$$ & Frankie Kazarian vs Laredo Kid, Octagon Jr & Chavo Guerrero Jr: Chavo wins via Gory Bomb into Frog Splash – *** 1/4
  • Jacy Jayne vs Masha Slamovich: Masha wins via Russian Death Device – ***
  • Eric Young w/two losers vs Ace Austin: Eric wins via Piledriver – ** 1/2
  • Seto & Mokuba – I mean – Nic Nemeth w/Ryan Nemeth vs Leon Slater: Nic wins via Danger Zone – *** 1/4

 

Results:

Gigi Dolin & Tatum Paxley vs Elegance Clique w/Personal Concierge

Ash and Gigi start off, Gigi with a little Rascalz after her first takedown. So both her and Wentz are making it obvious something’s going on between them, and I’m not mad at it. Good for my man Wentz.

Tatum and Gigi get some quick tandem offense in, Ash does manage to scurry off to a tag and Heather gets bent into a Pretzel. Some kind of Inverted Tarantula from Tatum, Gigi tags in, Bronco Buster on Heather followed by Kawada Kicks. Heather sells against the ropes, Gigi goes for a Hesitation Dropkick, but Concierge pulls her away so Gigi crashes and burns. Ref is distracted, Ash gets in some cheap shots and then the Elegant duo starts working over Gigi. A few quick tags, but once Heather comes in, Gigi fights out of the corner, gets the hot tag to Tatum. Tatum stacks up both Elegance members, Corner Stacked Crossbody, Butterfly Suplex and an Elbow Drop with some some flare. Tatum goes to the top rope, Heather pulls Gigi off the apron, Concierge shoves Tatum off the turnbuckle and Ash hits Rarefied Air for the win.

Post match the Elegance Clique wants to make their wish with the cake, they light the candles and Tatum and Gigi recover enough to do what we all expected last week, the cake in the face spot. Some…suggestive licking from both of our Hot Topic Hotties, so…no complaints here. 

Fir$t Cla$$ & Frankie Kazarian vs Laredo Kid, Octagon Jr & Chavo Guerrero Jr

Chavo and Kaz start since he’s King Petty, a quick rope run turns into a Headscissor from Chavo. Kaz recovers, they lock up, Kaz hits the Knee Lift during the lock up to tag out to KC. KC pulls off some athletic dodges, gloats a bit so Chavo waits, measures and nails a gorgeous Dropkick. Laredo comes in on fire, quick high spots that send KC bouncing around like HBK against Hulk. KC powders after sells the Satellite Takedown, AJ checks on him and we go to commercial.

Back from commercial, Octagon is lighting up KC’s chest with overhand chops, he perches, Sunset Headscissor Flip from corner to corner, KC tries to Back Drop him but Octagon does a headstand, kicks KC away and lays him out with a high spot. AJ gets on the apron to stop Octagon from running the ropes, the referee has a stroke or something because he stops paying attention and AJ pulls Octagon out of the ring and chucks him. KC with the Tope con Hilo and tag (tag ropes haven’t mattered since the 80s we all know this). So AJ is getting taunted by the crowd in Spanish, but he’s manhandling Octagon since it looks like a Child fighting their parent. AJ knocks off Chavo and Laredo, Laredo pops up and tries to get involved but he’s caught on the shoulders, Octagon goes for the Crossbody but gets caught and AJ pulls off “World’s Strongest Wasteland” but Chavo breaks up the pinfall. AJ throws Octagon into the corner, Tennessee Whiskey, and tag out to KC. KC hits a few moves, but starts to lose the momentum until he connects with a Super Kick. Simultaneous rope run into the Dueling Crossbodies, so we get the timely tag outs from both sides. Kaz and Laredo come in, Laredo lands like two moves before Kaz hits a Sole Butt, Lariat and eats his lunch. KC and Kaz try to double team Laredo but he fights out and the crowd is chanting for Chavo.

Chavo tags in, and he’s rocking KC, Saito Suplex, Low Bridge to AJ, Reverse the Whip so Chavo goes to the corner and perches, KC feeds, Chavo Backflips to safety, rolls through and lays out KC. Chavo is feeling himself, 3 Amigos start on KC but only 2, Kaz comes in and Chavo switches to Kaz for the Amigos, only 2 again before AJ breaks it up. AJ goes for the disrespect, but Chavo counters and hits the 3 Amigos on the biggest Culero. Aztec Warriors dive to stop AJ and Kaz, KC tries a Dirty Victory Roll but Chavo kicks out. GORY BOMB into FROG SPLASH!

Chavo looked fantastic and he’s the one in the best shape in the ring. I wouldn’t be mad at more Chavito. 

Jacy Jayne vs Masha Slamovich

I expect very little from this match.

Collar and Elbow, gator rolling for the first 30 seconds or so, then Jacy goes to some Hair Pull takedowns and does a little taunt before Masha pops back up and hits a Lariat into a Dive. Jacy sells it like she’s really hurt, even the ref tries to hold Masha back a little before Masha gets annoyed and just grabs her, Masha throws her in, looks for a Dive and Jacy sees it and powders. Masha tries to go back to the well for the Dive again but Jacy hits the Uppercut and then an Apron Run PK to drop Masha. Forearms rain down into a Foot Choke as Jacy continues to arrogantly play to the crowd. Another Foot Choke into a Cannonball, and near fall.

Masha gets space with a Sole Butt, tries to snap off Requiem but Jacy fights off, fights through a Sunset Flip another effective PK keeps Masha on her ass. Jacy looks for a kinda half-assed Camel Clutch as Masha is fighting up, but Jacy runs her into the corner, gets distracted mouthing off to the crowd, so Masha recovers, 5 Hole Up Kick sends Jacy into the corner, Yakuza Kick into Capo Kick for two. Requiem attempt again, but Jacy pushes off, a little back and forth, Masha tries a Backslide but Jacy gets away and hits a V-Trigger but only a 2 count. Jacy looks for the Discus Punch but Masha ducks it, they strike back and forth, but some dodges from both leave the exchange more even. Jacy with the Front Kick to the face sends Masha to the outside. Jacy wants another PK, but Masha blocks, Electric Chair Apron Snake Eyes. Masha throws her in, a PK into a near all. Requiem attempt 3, and thwarted from Jacy with a Superkick into a Neckbreaker. Senton misses from Jacy, Buzzsaw Kick, into Spinning Back Kick and Russian Death Device for the win.

Better than I expected, and Tessa attacks as soon as the bell rings. Xia Brookside and Lei Ying Li make the save after Tessa grabs the belt. 

Eric Young w/two losers vs Ace Austin

Ace and Eric tie up, World of Sport start but as soon as Ace starts to get away EY punches him in the face. Eric looks at the camera and says “This is what trust looks like”, turns his back on Ace, when Ace looks to attack, the loser duo cut him off. EY takes advantage of the weird situation, but Ace with some Up and Over quick spots, into an Inside Cradle and La Magistral. EY kicks out of the quick flash attempts, but eats a Dropkick, and Ace goes all Speed Kils on him with fast strikes and then a face buster for another near fall. Strike spot very early in the match, Ace gets the best of it, goes for a Tear Drop Suplex but EY sits on it to block, Headlocks to keep him close and then a snap Lariat into beatdown bully tactics. EY takes the referee’s attention and one of the nerds punch Ace in the face.

Eric tries to lean on Ace, but Ace fires, a few strikes, Click Click Boom, the Miz Seated Lariats in the corner, Mochizuki Triangle Kick connects! Only a 2 count, but Ace seems to be in control. Ace puts EY on the ropes, a few strikes to keep him rocked, wants a Superplex, but EY blocks, bites the face and Macho Elbow gets a very close two count. EY tries the Piledriver but Ace turns it into a Jacknife Cradle,Spinning Heel Kick, calls for The Fold, but the losers hop on the apron to distract, Ace attacks them. Ace tries to time out the Triangle Kick again, but Eric dodges, throws Ace head first through the buckles. As Ace stumbles out of the corner, Piledriver, and it’s over.

Oh look it’s the “we’ll hear from Joe Hendry” segment. Again, I’ve loved this gimmick since Day 1, even didn’t hate his What Culture Pro stuff, but there is such a thing as milking a cow too much. 

Elijah interrupts the whole “Who’s next” speech. When Elijah comes out he says he’s not the challenger and he believes in Joe. The crowd wants Elijah to turn on Hendry. Elijah pauses for a moment, and starts proving his friendship with stating his favorite color and a little “You Got a Friend in Me”. The crowd is into singing along and waving their cameras like Lighters to a 30 year old song. THANKFULLY Kaz breaks up the hug fest. Now he gets the “Culero” chant. 

Kaz pulls out a Bass…what the hell is this Jam Session. Kaz has to warm up so he plays “La Cucaracha” on the bass. Kaz…is a national treasure. Hendry kicks Kaz out of the ring after his Heelish and playfully racially charged song choices. Kaz tries to sow dissension, but Joe and Elijah pinball Kaz between them. Kaz slips a power move and tries to shove Elijah into Joe but Elijah puts the brakes on, a small tense moment. But then Joe and Elijah play “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey, Goodbye”…and that goes right into a commercial. Oddly…perfect.

Nic Nemeth w/Ryan Nemeth vs Leon Slater

Nic shoots the half immediately for a flash pinfall but Leon kicks out at one. Nic continues to keep things grounded with his amateur wrestling skills, and then does a little Dolph Ziggler show off. So Nic isn’t really taking this seriously, and Leon starts getting the best of things with an Arm Wringer, into drag, Shoulder Tackle and rope run as Nic tries to Leap Frog and Leon puts on the brakes and just shoves Nic on his ass. Nic gets annoyed, a few strikes, grinds his face along the ropes, but Leon keeps stringing some offense together, Back Handspring Elbow into his Corner con Hilo.

Ahh the classic formula of the commercial gives the heel the advantage, Twisting Suplex from Leon stops Nic’s offense momentum, right hand, Leon lifts Nic up for something, Nic slips it, kicks him in the gut, looks for the FameAsser, but Leon catches him into a Blue Thunder Bomb variation. Slater wants the Swanton 450, but Nic powders. Leon tries to adjust into a Dive, but Nic cuts him off, counter for counter and a FameAsser out of the counters for a two count. Nic starts the big brother tactics, bootwashes and arrogance, Slater fires, punches into a Yakuza Kick. Leon wants another Lethal Injection variant, but Nic catches him into a Rear Naked Choke. Slater tries to turn it into a pin so Nic breaks it. Leon wants a Leg Lariat but misses and gets unceremoniously dropped by Nic. Nic puts Leon up on the buckles, Superplex possibly but Slater counters, tries to collect himself for a move, but Nic falls into the ropes to crotch Leon, and finally hits the Superplex.

Twist of Slate from Leon, Swanton 450 but knees get up. Locomotion Cradles from both but they kick out, Ryan picks the ankle to trip up Leon just a touch and then Danger Zone ends the match.

Ryan starts the post match beatdown, but the Hardy’s music hits and they come down to the ring for the save. Matt challenges the Nemeths for Rebellion because they’re not medically cleared yet.

 

Overall Score: 6.5/10

Decent story motion, no match was offensive, and there was actually some solid match action for television standards. I don’t have a ton to complain about aside from the Knockouts Division is in a weird spot, and giving Hendry a lot of just talking and hollow payoff segments feels stupid. If we need to hear from him every week, give him a talk segment like Highlight Reel or something. Yes I know First Class just got The Penthouse, but if Hendry is going to talk more than wrestle, give him a talk segment for us to sink our teeth into.

There was the announcement that Xia, Lei Ying and Masha will face Tessa, Jacy and a mystery partner. So you gotta wonder if there’s going to be another NXT mercenary, a surprise return or if it’ll just be Rosemary since she’s got her issues with Xia. Also I just realized that Unbreakable is going to be on a Thursday, seemingly after iMPACT? I’m gonna have to see how they do it, because if there’s an Impact episode and 2-3 hour PLE…I do not want to be awake until 1am. People need to work, and I will be Unwakeable if things go that long.

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