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Mitchell’s WWE Monday Night Raw Report! (1/15/18)

Published

7 years ago

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All images courtesy of the WWE’s official Twitter

 

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • The Bar VS Titus Worldwide; Titus Worldwide wins.
  • Cedric Alexander w/ Goldust VS Tony Nese w/ Enzo Amore; Alexander wins.
  • Asuka VS Nia Jax; Asuka wins by referee decision.
  • The Revival VS Solow & Starks; The Revival wins.
  • 2-on-1 Handicap Match: The Miztourage w/ The Miz VS Roman Reigns; Reigns wins.
  • Sasha Banks w/ Bayley & Mickie James VS Sonya Deville w/ Absolution; Sonya wins.
  • WOKEN Matt Hardy VS Heath Slater w/ Rhyno; Hardy wins.
  • Finn Balor w/ The Club VS Seth Rollins w/ Jason Jordan; Rollins wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Raw’s biggest monsters are superhuman.

The Beast, Brock Lesnar, does not fear the Big Red Machine nor the Monster Among Men, but each challenger is doing their best to make him afraid. Kane would ambush Lesnar, but then Braun Strowman attacked them both! On top of that, Strowman used a grappling hook to bring down several tons of steel upon Lesnar and Kane! Kane would slip away into the shadows, but Lesnar needed to be taken away in an ambulance. What further destruction will be wrought on the road to the Royal Rumble?!

 

BRAUN STROWMAN heads to the ring!

The Monster Among Men is in San Antonio, and speaks to the WWE Universe. “I want to tell you all a short story.” It has a happy ending. “A Beast and a Machine met a Monster at the Royal Rumble, and the last one standing, was the Monster Among Men. And he became the new Universal Champion.” Raw General Manager Kurt Angle appears!

And he brings security guards with him. Strowman explains he was telling a story. Angle has his own story to tell, and it doesn’t have a happy ending. Strowman threatened lives and cost thousands of dollars in damage. He tells Angle “It could’ve been a lot worse.” Angle says since he is in charge of every superstar and staff member on Raw, what is he supposed to do if they get caught in the crossfire? Strowman did his job, Angle should do his. But that wasn’t doing his job! Wrestlers settle things in the ring. Strowman does things when he wants, and how he wants. If Strowman wants to tear down Suplex City, he’ll do it. If he wants to kick down the door to Hell, he’ll do it. And if he wants to be Universal Champion, then he will. Then be lucky Kane and Lesnar can still compete. But it won’t be a triple threat anymore. Because Strowman won’t be in it. Angle officially fires Strowman!

Fans are in an uproar over this! Angle takes his leave of the ring, fans tell him “You Suck!” for real, but Strowman storms his way up the ramp. The security guards keep him in line, but what will be the consequences of this termination?

Strowman is fuming backstage.

He glares at the security guards escorting him. “Make me leave!” What will be the state of Raw when we return from break?!

 

Strowman heads for the exit, still fuming.

One guard tells him “You gotta leave!” Strowman snaps and starts beating them all up! They fly into the garage doors, get decked by big right hands, and one poor sap is thrown across the spare tables. “Fire me, I’ll wreck everybody in here!” The Monster Among Men is on a warpath, is there anyone who can stop him!?

 

The Bar VS Titus Worldwide!

The Celtic Gladiator & Swiss Cyborg want to get even with Titus O’Neil & Apollo Crews so that they can keep momentum going into the Raw Tag Team Championship rematch at the Royal Rumble!

The bell rings, young Crews starts with Sheamus. They circle, tie up, Sheamus powers Crews to the Bar’s corner. Tag to Cesaro, the Bar stomps a mudhole into Crews. Cesaro wrenches and tags to Sheamus, double whip and double hip toss but Crews lands on his feet! Crews dropkicks Ceasro, Sheamus whips but Crews goes up and over to handspring and dropkick him. Crews brings Sheamus over, tag to Titus. The Real Deal keeps on Sheamus with a whip and a shoulder tackle, then the barks. Titus gives Sheamus a European Uppercut and an open hand chop. Sheamus kicks back and drives in a knee, tag to Cesaro. Cesaro gives his EuroUppers and chops to Titus, fans troll Sheamus with “You Look Stupid!” The EuroUppers continue, but Titus powers Cesaro back and to a corner for sharp open hand chops! Titus taunts Sheamus before chopping Cesaro more. Cesaro turns it around and returns those chops, but they seem to be firing Titus up. Titus powers Cesaro back again, and gives an extra hard chop. Titus scoops and slams, dares Sheamus to do something, then tags Apollo. Apollo keeps on Cesaro, big scoop slam to a big elbow drop!

Cover, ONE. Crews suplexes Cesaro but Cesaro slips out to tag Sheamus. Apollo keeps moving but gets a cheap shot knee from Sheamus and a EuroUpper from Cesaro. Sheamus climbs up, and hits a flying clothesline! The Bar is fired up while fans boo, we go to break.

Raw returns, and Crews fights out of the Bar’s corner. Crews jumps for a tag but Cesaro catches him. Cesaro puts him back in the corner, tag to Sheamus, backbreaker and Cesaro gives the elbow!

Cover, TWO, so Sheamus wraps on a chinklock. He shifts it to a keylock, Dana rallies the fans. Crews gets to his feet, fights out, but Sheamus shoves him back, enziguri! Both men down, Titus Worldwide rallies the fans. Sheamus tags Cesaro, Crews tags Titus! Titus rallies on Cesaro, then gives hammer fist after hammer fist before a big biel across the ring! The fans bark with TItus, he goes corner to corner for the splash and slam! TWO! Titus keeps on Cesaro, whips but Cesaro kicks away. Tag to Sheamus and The Bar mule kicks Titus together. They bring Titus up, Crews returns and he shovels Cesaro out. Deja vu from last week as Sheamus goes for Brogue and Apollo flips back, but The Bar knew what was coming this time as Cesaro decks Crews. Sheamus kicks Titus and chokes him against the ropes, EuroUpper cheap shot! Roll-up, TWO! Sheamus knocks Titus down, tag to Cesaro. Cesaro brings Titus up, prepares but Titus counters. Cesaro jams a knee while Titus tags and Crews climbs up. He turns around, Crews flies in! Crossbody cover, TWO, right to Moonsault! Sheamus breaks the pin. Titus returns, The Bar throws him out. The Bar Lariat runs Crews over, and they tag and coordinate. Jason Jordan appears?

Titus & Crews use the distraction to shove down Cesaro and roll Sheamus up!! Titus Worldwide wins again!! Seth Rollins comes out to reprimand Jordan but Titus Worldwide celebrates! The Bar is furious, will they get revenge at the Royal Rumble?

 

Strowman storms down the halls, looking for Kurt Angle!

The Monster finds it and kicks in the door! Angle isn’t there, but that only pisses Strowman off more!

Strowman wrecks everything in the room, then storms back out.

Strowman is headed for catering!

Everyone, RUN! Too late, he’s already here. He throws over all the tables, then choke slams Curt Hawkins through the buffet! The man serving cake is stunned, but Strowman spares him to have a big bite of it.

Where will the Monster Among Men go next on his search for vengeance?

 

Enzo Amore & Tony Nese head to the ring.

The Certified G, Bonafide Stud and Cruiserweight Champion are in San Antonio, how you doin’? Braun Strowman IS a Monster Among Men, but so is Enzo! Enzo could be stitched up and taped up like Frankenstein’s Monster, but he’ll still walk out the ring the champion. Wait, if Enzo is Frankenstein, what is Cedric Alexander? Dracula, because he sucks! Alexander got some of Enzo before, but if he wants more, get through “Tony Freakin’ Abs!” Alexander comes out and has his new friend, Goldust!

“Enzo, how dare you compare yourself to the great Boris Karloff. If you were a film, you’d go straight to DVD.” Alexander, on the other hand, is a “box office smash. A blockbuster!” And when Alexander wins at the Royal Rumble, there’ll be one world to describe him: Champion. But Goldust has a word for Enzo, and Alexander delivers it: S A W F T!

Braun Strowman tears up a hallway.

He throws steel chairs at the walls and knocks over fencing. Strowman pushes a dumpster and almost runs over referees! No one and nothing is safe from his wrath.

Cedric Alexander w/ Goldust VS Tony Nese w/ Enzo Amore!

Alexander puts on a headlock, Nese slips out and puts on a wristlock. Alexander rolls and spins then trips Nese up. Things speed up, Nese runs Alexander over with a back elbow. Cover, ONE, so Nese keeps on Alexander with stomps, to Enzo’s liking. Nese brings Alexander up and gives him a forearm, Alexander responds with a chop. Nese knees then whips, Alexander slips over the back and rolls under to handspring headscissor then dropkick Nese down. Fans fire up, Alexander runs corner to corner for a shoulder tackle, but then Nese trips him up on the top rope. Enzo wants Nese to capitalize, Nese gives a top shelf kick, and then a gutbuster drop! Cover, TWO, but Nese stays on Alexander with left hands. Nese taunts Alexander, embraces the heat and shows off the abs while Alexander gets to ropes. They go to the corner, Nese chops and knees, then puts Alexander in a Tree of Woe. The referee counts, Nese lets up so that he can get Full-Contact Cardio. Enzo checks his abs, not on Nese’s level.

Cover, ONE, Nese wrenches Alexander’s neck. Enzo taunts Alexander, promising things will get worse for Alexander. Fans rally, but Nese drops a leg on Alexander, TWO. Nese puts on the neck wrench again, Goldust stalks behind Enzo and scares him off with the “HRAH” before mocking the Enzo Shuffle. Alexander gets up, fights back against Nese, stiff forearm rocks Nes. Nese fires back, Alexander staggers back, corner to corner whip. Alexander dodges, then hits back with an uppercut. Enzo is furious, fans rally, Alexander dropkicks a leg out so Nese hits buckles. Alexander goes tot he apron and kicks Nese’s head back. Fans fire up, step-in complete shot! Alexander kip-up then runs in but is pu ton the apron, right ot the springboard lariat! TWO, Alexander can’t believe it. Goldust keeps fans rallying, Alexander gets up and drags Nese from the ropes. Nese resists, grinding Alexander with the headlock. Nese gives a back elbow but Alexander still tries, Nese slips out. Alexander rolls but Nese sits down, TWO! Nese kicks back, then knee lift, but Alexander blocks and gives back an elbow. ALexander whips but Nese slips under, pumphandle but escape, LUMBAR CHECK!! Alexander wins! And Enzo is upset. Will the Carolina Kid quiet Enzo once and for all to become the new Cruiserweight Champion?

 

Angle finds his office is a wreck.

“Iv’e never seen anything like it.” Strowman is like a wild elephant or something. Angle must call in a SWAT team. A referee lets Angle know Strowman is headed right for the production trucks! That’s $12 MILLION right there! Angle hurries to save the show, and money.

Strowman has arrived in the garage.

And yes, he has found the TV truck. Strowman vows to smash it and take this show off the air! “If I smash this right now, will it shut off all these monitors in here?” Strowman storms into all the rooms and makes a mess of each, intimidating everyone else inside.

He shouts for them to leave, they leave. Strowman storms out, but where did he go? The workers go back to their stations, but wait. Why are the engines starting!? Strowman detached and is driving the truck from the trailer! To then tip it over!? Angle arrives and tells Strowman the police are on their way. However, Angle gets his own call, so Strowman continues to tip the truck over!

And then he roars at Angle before storming off to who knows where. He keeps the security guards from walking too close, he’s headed to ringside!? San Antonio hoops and hollers, they want Strowman to do anythign he wants. So he storms over to the announce table and captures Michael Cole! He lifts Cole and carries him away. ANgle appears and begs Strowman stop. The cops aren’t coming, Stephanie McMahon has rehired Strowman! Strowman is still going to compete at the Royal Rumble! Just spare Michael Cole. Strowman does… NOT! He THROWS Cole at the security guards!

They bowl over like pins, Strowman roars in victory and takes his leave. With Strowman on the path of destruction he is, will Kane and Lesnar even survive?

 

Todd Philips takes Michael Cole’s place on commentary.

“I wish I was here under better circumstances.”

 

Asuka VS Nia Jax!

The Empress of Tomorrow is still undefeated, but the Brutal Beauty of the Irresistible Force wants to change that before the inaugural Women’s Royal Rumble match.

The bell rings and the two circle. Nia rushes but Asuka kicks back and goes for a leg. Nia throws her off but Asuka is right up.

Asuka circles with Nia again but goes after an arm, only to be thrown off again and again. Nia lunges, Asuka gets the waistlock but Nia powers out. Asuka throws hands, Nia shoves her away, Asuka comes back with an attempt at the Octopus Stretch! She gets it, and pulls on that arm. Nia powers out again, but Asuka is right back with kicks. Asuka runs, but into a backbreaker! Asuka gets to a corner, Nia drags her up to throw her across the way. Nia rushes in, Asuka boots Nia back and fires off elbow strikes. Nia blocks a whip to then run Asuka over with a lariat. Fans are thunderous both ways as Nia stalks Asuka. Nia reaches down, armbar surprise from Asuka!

Nia moves and tries to make it a cover, but Asuka holds on tight to bring Nia down. A second wind, and Nia deadlifts and powerbombs Asuka to a corner! Both women recover while we go to break.

Raw returns and Nia has Asuka in a bearhug!

Asuka endures the squeeze, and fights back with elbows. Nia brings her up into the bearhug again, but Asuka slips up and over for a sunset flip. Nia denies it, sits down but misses, sliding enziguri from Asuka! Both women are down again and a ten count begins. They get up and go right at each other again, Asuka giving off back hands and back kicks. Nia lifts Asuka, pops her up, but sunset flip! TWO! Asuka fires herself up and kicks away at Nia’s chest. Nia gets under one kick, lifts Asuka up, POWERBOMB! Nia is too tired to cover, she rests against ropes. Now she covers, TWO! Nia is furious, but she gets up and keeps her eyes on Asuka. She drags Asuka up, Asuka revives and slips around for a victory roll into a KNEEBAR!

Nia endures the hold, crawls for ropes, and gets the ropebreak! Asuka lets go, stands up, but Nia throws her right out of the ring. Nia catches her breath before pursuing. Asuka goes to kick but is blocked and shoved into the apron. Fans are thunderous again while Nia drags Asuka up. Asuka kicks out a leg and Nia falls right on the steel steps! Nia tumbles out, clutches that leg in pain, and the ring count is at 9 when she gets back in. Both women are down, the referee checks on each of them. Nia drags herself up with the ropes, but she can barely walk. She doesn’t want to give up, but the referee has to call it. Fans are displeased, but Asuka still wins. Alexa Bliss comes out to check on her best friend while Asuka takes her leave. The Empress’ streak continues, but can Nia even compete in the Women’s Rumble at this rate?

 

Kurt Angle sorts through the wreckage of his office.

Jason Jordan comes in, and thanks Angle for having faith in his Gold-Blooded Son.

Angle says “You’re welcome”, but he’s not in a very happy mood. Jordan saw what happened, and says he’d been keeping close to Angle to make sure Strowman didn’t do anything to him. Angle apologizes for not realizing Jordan was there. Jordan knows, and “on behalf of my partner, Seth Rollins”, they’re ready for the Royal Rumble. As for tonight, Jordan wants to help Seth Rollins make up for his loss last week. Maybe a match would help him stay sharp, and Jordan has an idea on the opponent: Finn Balor! Good idea. Let Rollins know, because that match is happening.

 

WWE celebrates Martin Luther King Jr’s birthday.

“LONG LIVE THE DREAM”. Ten bells and a moment of silence for the man whose dream changed America.

 

Alexa Bliss helps Nia Jax with her leg.

The Goddess and Raw Women’s Champion also apologizes for roping Nia into a fight with Asuka. Alexa never thought this would happen! Maybe Alexa was wrong. Enzo Amore comes in.

Is she okay? Yes. Is his ankle okay? Yeah, he’s okay. Alexa says she’s got this, but Enzo says he’s got this, and Nia chooses Enzo. Alexa leaves, the Certified G feels bad Nia got hurt, too. Is this budding romance blooming before our very eyes?

 

The Revival VS Solow & Starks!

Scott Dawson & Dash Wilder look to bring things back to a time of tag team wrestling where it was #NoFlipsJustFists! As such, the bell rings and Dawson throws those fists onto Solow in a corner. He brings Solow up and kicks away before hitting a snap suplex, then a stiff lariat.

Dawson drags Solow over and tags Dash, big flying knee! Dash stays focused, and dares Solow to tag Starsk, who Dash goes right after anyway. Fireman’s carry to a flipping backbreaker, Dash then tags Dawson, the assisted gordbuster onto Starks! Dawson stalks Starks and slaps Solow! Tag to Dash, Dawson throws Starks into Solow before hitting a Shatter Machine! The Revival wins, SAY YEAH!

In-ring interview with Charly Caruso.

Is she sure she wants to do this? Think about it. She’s giving a live mick to these two on live television. “What you just witnessed is tag team excellence.” That has been missing, because people want to go play video games or see what social media is doing. Not these two. They are “students of this game.” All Dash & Dawson want to do is master holds and win matches. In which case, which old school legends are they most excited to meet at #Raw25? The New Age Outlaws? Shawn Michaels? Stone Cold Steve Austin? “Those guys?” There is nothing cool about beer baths and crotch chops. The Revival aren’t sports entertainers, they’re pro-wrestlers! They’re as real as it gets, and WWE knows it. The WWE doesn’t want Revival to succeed, because they can’t control The Revival. There will be all sorts of stars and celebs from around the world at Raw 25th Anniversary, but this is The Revival’s Universe. They will set the tone for Raw for the next 25 years!

 

“Ladies and Gentlemen: Elias.”

The Drifter has made it to San Antonio, not that anyone in San Antonio wants him. Even so, he still asks “Who Wants to Walk with Elias?!” He wishes Michael Cole well, but he’s here for two other reasons. First: to teach the WWE Universe a lesson, that will better us all for it; WWE stands for “Walk With Elias!” And don’t you forget it. Second: the Royal Rumble is coming, and with many superstars involved such as Shinsuke Nakamura, Finn Balor or Randy Orton, Elias is more concerned with a certain someone and he has a song for them. “Talked to my father, told him I hope Cena comes my way. I’ve got retribution for him, for what he did on Christmas Day. I’ll eliminate John Cena, I’ll throw him to the floor, Drown his sorrows, with 28 more.” Unlike the Spurs, who are destined to fail. The fans really hate that line. Well it’s not like the Spurs can do anything to him. And, then Elias gives a musical introduction The Miz and his Miztourage!

2-on-1 Handicap Match: The Miztourage w/ The Miz VS Roman Reigns!

The Hollywood A-Lister gets his rematch for the Intercontinental Championship at the 25th Anniversary show, but he’s going to have Bo Dallas & Curt Axel to soften up The Big Dog as much as they can before then. Before that, however, The Miz wishes to speak. He returned to Raw after a six week absence, and fans welcomed him back. That felt awesome, but it was only six weeks. The reason why fans welcomed him is because they could tell The Miz was the spark missing from Raw. The Miz got his rematch, then laid waste to Roman Reigns, and it all felt awesome. It was one of those “unforgettable moments” that makes Raw so great, but those kind of moments are what The Miz does. That’s why USA Network gave The Miz & Maryse their own show! Miz will over-deliver a moment that will last for 25 years, “the title is mine!” The Miz made it prestigious, relevant, and it will be his again! “And that’s gonna feel awesome.”

Roman Reigns appears, and he wants at The Miz right now, but must settle for the sidekicks. The bell rings and the match finally begins. The Miz tries to distract, but Roman is ready for the cheap shot from Axel, Roman decks Axel with an uppercut. Then Roman gives one to Bo! The Miz backs off, Roman pursues anyway. The referee keeps Roman back, Bo comes up but Roman knocks him back down. Miz tries but is backed off, so Axel clobbers Roman from behind. The Miztourage get Roman up and throw him into steel steps. Miz trash talks while the Miztourage gets Roman up and in the ring,. Axel covers, TWO, another try, TWO again. Axel puts Roman in the corner and stomps away, tag to Bo, and now BO stomps away. Fans are thunderous both ways for Roman, tag to Axel and Axel keeps up the mudhole. Tag to Bo, Bo stomps a mudhole, then they embrace the heat. Bo drags Roman up for a big lariat, cover, TWO. Bo wraps a chinlock on Roman, Miz likes what he sees. Roman endures, Axel says it’s done already. Fans keep up the noise both ways, Roman wills himself back up. Bo gives Roman knees, then goes to suplex, but Roman blocks. Roman turns things around and tries to suplex Bo to the apron. Axel bails Bo out, Bo drives Roman down with DDT! TWO, The Miz is still confident in his Miztourage. Bo stands up, drags Roman around, but then Roman resists. Fans keep dueling while Bo reaches for a tag, Roman pulls Bo away so Bo gives him a forearm. Roman gives one back, Bo gives one, Roman backs him down with forearms. Axel tags in, he clobbers Roman with forearms, then whips. Roman reverses, Samoan Drop!

Both men are down, Bo gets back on the apron, but Axel is on the far side. Axel runs but Roman blocks him, to bring him back into the open corner! Axel boots Roman away, then walks for Bo, Roman just takes out Bo! Roman has Axel all alone, and he knwos it. He starts rallying on Axel with clotheslines, then a whip to the jumping lariat. Fans cheer and jeer, Roman gives those close-range clotheslines in a corner. Bo comes in, gets a back elbow, then a big kick! Roman throws Axel into Bo, boot-powered DDT on Axel! Fans are thunderous again, Roman locks and loads. Miz distracts again, Bo comes in but is clothesline’d out. Axel is up, SUPERMAN PUNCH brings him down! Roman goes outside again, builds speed, and jumps for a SUPERMAN PUNCH onto Bo!

Miz runs, Roman has him! They go in but Miz slides out, Axel capitalizes with a roll-up! TWO!? SPEAR! Roman wins! The Big Dog defends his Yard against two opponents, does the Miz stand a chance when it’s just 1v1?

 

Sasha Banks w/ Bayley & Mickie James VS Sonya Deville w/ Paige & Mandy Rose!

The Legit Boss has her good friends ringside to make sure the Glampire and Golden Rose don’t interfere with her match against the Gladiator. Who will get a step ahead this close to the inaugural Women’s Royal Rumble match?

The bell rings, the two circle, Sonya gets the waistlock throw. She dares Sasha to get up again, she does, Sasha gets the crossface! Sonya gets out of it quick, now Sasha dares her to come back. Mandy distracts, Sonya is upon Sasha with shoulders in a corner! Sasha elbows back, whips Sonya but is reversed. Sasha goes up but Sonya drives in knees and body shots, a big knee onto Sasha’s head. Cover, TWO, but Sonya isn’t deterred. She puts on the body scissors, then grinds a forearm on Sasha’s face. Paige declares “This is OUR House!” but fans rally for The Boss. Sasha gets up, and backpack rams Sonya into buckles before throwing her off. Sasha throws hands, then forearms, runs and into a tilt-o-whirl headscissors. She dropkicks Sonya down, Sonya ends up in a corner. Sasha runs in with double knees and then again, she climbs up but Sonya is ready to roundhouse her out of the sky! Cover, Sonya WINS! The Gladiator shocks The Boss, can she and Absolution shock the world at the Rumble?

 

Jason Jordan checks in with Seth Rollins backstage.

Is The Architect ready? Always, but they need to talk. They’ve discussed it before, but Jordan steps out of line and that comes down on Rollins. Jordan just wants Rollins to have a chance to redeem himself. If Rollins wants, they can undo the match. No, that’s not Rollins’ point. Rollins wants to settle things with Finn, but he wants Jordan to understand they’re teammates. Jordan doesn’t speak for Rollins, okay? It’s not about what Jordan did, but how he did it. Jordan understands, and lets Rollins finish preparing.

 

WOKEN Matt Hardy VS Heath Slater w/ Rhyno!

The WOKEN WISDOM vows to DELETE all put before him in the squared circle, will he succeed once more in battle?

Slater gets a headlock, then slips to a wristlock. Hardy hits back and hits hard, “Fight me!” Hardy puts on a DELETE headlock, Slater powers out, Hardy just falls on Slater and hammers away. Slater scrambles to ropes, the ref backs Hardy off but Hardy drags Slater back, apron skirt with him. Slater scrambles out the other side now, but Hardy is still on him with haymakers. The referee backs Hardy off, Hardy laughs in Slater’s face. Slater tries to escape but Hardy pursues, and haymakers Slater out of the ring. Rhyno regroups with Slater, wanting him to toughen up. Slater isn’t so sure, but #YouCanDoItSlater! Slater gets in the ring with Hardy and kicks low. He hammers away on Hardy now, then stomps away. The fans hoop and holler with Rhyno while Slater drives elbows into Hardy’s shoulder. Hardy bites Slater’s hand! They separate, Hardy rocks Slater with a haymaker, then a German Suplex into buckles! Hardy keeps hammering away, then runs in for a clothesline and Side Effect! Cover, TWO! Hardy vows to DELETE DELETE DELETE as he bumps Slater’s head off the buckles.

Then, neckbreaker! Hardy isn’t over, he DELETE DELETE DELETE Twist of Fate! WOKEN Hardy wins! When will the Great War finally flow over into our reality?

 

WWE’s Hall of Fame 2018 class begins with: GOLDBERG!

From “out of obscurity” into WCW, and then from WCW to WWE. From Undefeated World Heavyweight Champion to split-second Universal Champion. And now, he shall be truly immortalized in WWE’s own HoF!

 

Finn Balor w/ The Club VS Seth Rollins w/ Jason Jordan!

A rematch from the inaugural Universal Championship match, will the Architect or the Extraordinary Man gain ground on the Road to the Royal Rumble?

The bell rings, and fans chant “Too Sweet! Woop woop!” Rollins gets the headlock, Finn tries to power out but Rollins holds on. Finn tries again and succeeds, things speed up and Finn hits a couple arm-drags to bring Rollins to the mat. Rollins gets up and puts Finn on ropes, then arm-drags Finn in return before running him over with forearms. Rollins kicks Finn while he’s down, then brings him up for chops. Finn gets to a corner, Rollins throws hands and stomps. He stops at 4 and tauntingly puts up Too Sweet, which Jordan likes. Rollins snapmares and puts Finn in a chinlock. Finn gets up, Rollins knees low then whips, Finn reverses, sunset flip rolled through, dropkick! He clotheslines Rollins out, goes to the apron, Penalty Kick!

Jordan coaches Rollins up and the Club regroups while we go to break.

Raw returns to Finn working over Rollins’ leg in a corner. Rollins fights out, Finn comes back in but takes the boot, Rollins hops up for the flying blockbuster!

The Architect has to clutch his bad leg, though, but he still uses the good one to drive Finn out of the ring. Rollins takes aim, builds speed, and DIVES to send Finn into barriers! Jordan coaches him up, Rollins gets moving despite the bad leg. The Good Brothers coach Finn but Rollins puts him in the ring, then hobbles over for a one-legged neckbreaker. Cover, TWO, so Rollins puts Finn in a cravat to go after the neck. Finn endures, gets to his feet, Rollins knees low and gives a running ax handle. Fans duel, Rollins gets up and stalks Finn. He drives in another ax handle to Finn’s neck, but Finn fires back with forearms. Rollins hits back and suplexes but Finn slips out to a standing switch, Rollins elbows him away. Finn gets to a corner, Rollins runs over but Finn boots him away now. Finn rallies with forearms, then takedown to double stomps! Rollins rolls to ropes while Finn checks his chin. Finn fires up while Rollins stands up, running chop in the corner. Corner to corner whip, but reversed, Finn goes up and over. Finn runs back at Rollins but Rollins boots him back, Finn PELES Rollins out of the blockbuster. Finn grabs Rollins in the dragon sleeper, for the elbow drop! TWO, and The Balor Club can’t believe it. Jordan coaches Rollins on some more, even as he and Finn slowly get up. Finn takes aim, slingblade reversed into Rollins’ slingblade!

TWO, and Finn gets to where the Good Brothers stand. Finn stands up, Rollins runs in and hits the forearm smash. Rollins keeps going, another forearm. Finn denies the third time with HIS Slingblade! He runs out again, but into a SUPERKICK! TWO, and everyone is tense. The fans chant “Too Sweet! Woop woop!” while both men stir. Rollins is on Finn, Finn elbows out and chops back. Finn throws hands, Rollins ducks, ripcord, but Finn forearms Rollins back. Rollins with the PELE outta nowhere! Both men are down, fans are fired up. Rollins gets himself up, and on one leg, PHOENIX– no, Finn evades and Rollins rolls through. Finn blasts Rollins with the dropkick! He keeps going, getting to the top rope. Rollins springs up, SUPERPLEX and roll through for Falcon Arrow! TWO! San Antonio declares “This is Awesome” while Rollins climbs up again. He takes aim, FROG SPLASH into knees! TWO!? No one can believe that was it, it looked close. But here comes The Bar!

Sheamus & Cesaro storm down to the ring and Jordan ends up cornered between them and The Good Brothers. He ducks out, the other four fight! Finn FLIES onto them all! He returns into the ring, Rollins gets a swing kick form him, and Finn climbs up! Fans fire up, Coup De Grace– no, Rollins evades this time and Finn rolls through. Cesaro gets on the apron, Finn knocks him off, and Rollins takes a swing. Finn ducks it and runs, but Jordan trips him up! Rollins hits the CURB STOMP! Rollins wins! Jordan goes in to celebrate with him, can these two work as a team to keep those Raw Tag Team Championships?

The Balor Club regroups in the ring, helping their leader to his feet.

Finn seems worse for wear after taking Rollins’ Black Out Curb Stomp. Controversy aside, can Finn recover and be ready for the Royal Rumble?

 

My Thoughts:

A wild but entertaining Raw here tonight. Braun Strowman was probably the best part of this night, and will be the best thing this entire week in WWE. From him getting fired to wreaking havoc so heinous he was rehired in roughly an hour, nothing can beat The Monster Among Men. I’m glad Alexander VS Nese wasn’t just a repeat of everything from last week’s 205 Live, it was pretty fast and crazy by the end and of course Alexander goes over again to keep himself strong going towards his match with Enzo. That match can still go either way depending on what The ‘Zo Train does, but it’s feeling like Alexander’s time. Asuka VS Nia Jax was very competitive, and the referee decision type finish was a surprise, but also a good way of keeping things uncertain between the two. And they were able to cleverly tie it into Nia’s story with Enzo. Sonya VS Sasha ended oddly fast, but that feeds into her MMA style gimmick a bit better, since many a time, MMA matches end out of nowhere.

Raw also seems to be building its Tag Team Division again by having Titus O’Neil look strong while Jordan still screws The Bar over. It is too late to really say they can shove Titus Worldwide into the Royal Rumble Raw Tag Team Championship, but on the Road to Wrestlemania, Titus Worldwide can use these wins as selling points towards challenging whoever comes out the champions. The Revival is staying strong, but mostly against jobbers, and I fear they’re approaching Ascension levels of “pride before the burial”. Their promo about being real wrestlers gives me hope, but I also hope they don’t try and get into fights with “old school” tag teams the same way Ascension did. One team that won’t be near the titles is The Miztourage after Roman finds a way to overcome odds and defeat them. There’s still a chance Miz takes the Intercontinental title from him at Raw 25th Anniversary, but Roman himself could be building a lot of momentum towards something more. Slater & Rhyno also aren’t looking good after losing to Strowman one week and WOKEN Hardy this week. The Balor Club’s Good Brothers are still good as they took the brawl to The Bar. Finn Balor VS Seth Rollins was a really great choice for an “impromptu” main event, it was solid stuff. But I’m not sure which is bigger: ref botch or return of the stomp? The Balor Club could find a way to use that as to why they should challenge for those tag titles next and in a New Day/Free Birds rule kind of way. That aside, it also shows that–while dirty–Jordan helping Rollins is a show of them becoming a proper team.

My Score: 8.5/10

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Coverage

Mitchell’s WWE SmackDown Results & Report! (3/28/25)

SmackDown in the UK!

Published

13 hours ago

on

March 28, 2025

By

London calling to the champion crowns!

SmackDown brings gold to London as LA Knight defends his WWE US Championship and The Street Profits defend their tag team titles! Will the landscape change this close to WrestleMania?

OFFICIAL RESULTS

  • WWE Tag Team Championships: The Street Profits VS Pretty Deadly; The Profits win and retain the titles.
  • Kayden Carter & Katana Chance VS The Secret Her-vice w/ Chelsea Green; The Secret Her-vice wins.
  • WWE United States Championship: LA Knight VS Braun Strowman; Braun wins, by disqualification, and Knight retains the title.
  • Charlotte Flair VS Mia Yim w/ B-Fab; Charlotte wins.
  • Randy Orton VS Drew McIntyre; McIntyre wins.
  • Jimmy Uso VS The Miz; Jimmy wins.

PLAY BY PLAY

Cody Rhodes is here!

We follow The American Nightmare as walks to gorilla, then through the curtain, and London sings along with the song, “WHOA~ OH~!” Cody gets his pyro, says hello to fans along the ramp, and then we get the second “WHOA~ OH~!” and pyro. Cody goes to the ring, grabs a mic, then kneels down to kiss the WWE logo on the mat. The fans continue to sing along all the way to the end, “I AM MY KINGDOM!” The fans then cheer, and Cody holds up the belt to fire them up even more! The fans now sing for “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” and he soaks it in. The fans cheer again as Cody smiles, and he finally says, “So, London~! Whaddya wanna talk about?”

The fans chant “Let’s Go, Cena!” “CENA SUCKS!” Cody hears that dueling, and he smiles again. The song of “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” returns, then they cheer. Cody says, “At WrestleMania 41, I will be facing John Cena…” The fans boo, but Cody says, “I will be facing John Cena as he goes to break the record and win 17. But that is WrestleMania 41. In just a few nights, I will be standing face to face with John Cena in this very same city, in this very same arena.” The fans cheer that, but then here comes Randy Orton! Now the fans sing along with Voices as The Viper heads to the ring. Orton also high-fives fans before he joins Cody.

Orton grabs a mic, paces while the fans keep singing on their own, and then the fans cheer. Orton says he’s not really the sentimental type, but for Cody and for London, screw it. The fans chant “R K O! R K O!” and Orton tells Cody, “Look at you. Look at who you are now, the man you are now. Look at where he came from.” The fans cheer and sing “CODY! CODY RHODES~!” and Orton says he remembers a Cody in his early 20s, just breaking into the business. Cody was busting his ass harder than anyone else. He wasn’t exactly happy, and in fact, he was frustrated. But Cody was man enough, smart enough, to know he needed to grow, and that he couldn’t grow in the WWE.

Cody wasn’t exactly treated fairly in the WWE, so Cody left the WWE! That took some big ass balls to do what he did! Cody changed the business singlehandedly, and everyone in the back knows it. And Orton appreciates Cody for it. But then Cody came back, as they all knew one day he would. And the industry has been changed forever since the day Cody came back to the WWE. Cody is a bit teary eyed as Orton says Cody’s still the same guy, he just did what he set out to do, and he grew. Orton teases he would sing along with the fans, but the fans might leave. The fans again sing “CODY! CODY RHODES~!”

Orton asks if they remember when Cody Rhodes faced Seth Rollins in Hell in a Cell. The fans cheer because they do. Orton says that was impressive, and even impossible, as he started with a partially torn pec and then ended with a fully torn pec! His body changed all kinds of shades of purple that Orton’s never seen on a human body. The pain he must have been in. Cody persevered not just for himself. Maybe not even at all for Cody. It was not even for his family legacy; it was for each and every single fan out there! Then Cody went on to WrestleMania, beat Roman Reigns and finished the story!

But there’s always another story, isn’t there? And Cody’s right in the middle of one. Cody is in charge of his legacy, and it is a privilege for Orton to watch Cody take control of it. Ticket sales have been up, there’s more intrigue around the world, and listen to the people! It is 99.9% all because of Cody! The fans cheer that, and of course they sing. Orton says what he’s trying to say is a long-winded version of he respects Cody, loves him, and is very, very proud of him. The fans cheer that! Orton then says, “But… But now it is time for WrestleMania.” They both look to the sign, and Orton says he can guarantee Cody that Orton will kick Kevin Owens so hard in the head…!

Orton can just feel it already! He forgets how many days are left, but he can’t wait to remove Kevin’s head from his shoulders. And Orton knows Cody will enter champion, exit champion, but not before he beats the holy hell outta Cena all up and down the Vegas strip! But after all the smoke clears and the dust settles, just like Orton wants Number 17, there will come a time when Orton will want Number 15. But Orton won’t kick Cody in the balls like a coward. Orton will look Cody in the eye because he respects Cody, is proud of Cody, and sees him as an equal. Orton will look Cody in the eye and tell him that he’s coming for the title.

The fans cheer but wait! Drew McIntyre is here! The fans cheer the Scottish Terminator as he steps out on stage, mic in hand, and has a wry smile on his face as he looks at the ring. Drew waves as the fans now sing, “OH~ Drew McIntyre~!” Drew says, “Isn’t this wonderful? A couple of nepo babies having a love fest in the middle of the ring> It makes me absolutely sick. What’d you just say, Randy? if Cody gets through Cena at WrestleMania, you’re coming for that title? What exactly have you done since that big comeback to justify that title match? Aside be Randy Orton. The only big moment I can remember is you being on the shelf for months and months and months.

“People like to make jokes about it, but more people talk about my five-minute-45-second title reign than your entire comeback so far! So get to the back of the line, sunshine! As for you, Cody, you should’ve listened to me. But you shunned me. You attacked me. Everybody should’ve listened to me about John Cena, but they didn’t. And the next night, he kicked you right in the twig ‘n’ berries, proving me right as usual. And the main event of WrestleMania should be Cody Rhodes VS The UK’s only ever world champion, Drew McIntyre!” Fans do like that idea. But sadly, it’s not, because of that guyliner wearing Temu Undertaker, Damian Priest!

Drew wants to talk about what is happening. And what’s gonna happen! Drew steps up to the ring while fans sing for him again. Drew says it will not be Randy that takes the title from Cody, should he get through Cena; it’ll be McIntyre. The fans cheer, but Orton says they were trying to have a moment. Can Drew just cut the crap already? Drew says okay, sure. He’ll tell the truth, because that’s all he ever does. The truth is, Kevin might have a point! If those Voices are talking to Orton again, then they know Drew very, very well. And he’s thinking, “My God, Randy looks great! Absolutely jacked! On the outside.”

On the inside, that back is hanging by a thread. And if Orton provokes McIntyre, McIntyre will break him. And as for Cody- Cody kicks Drew and UPPERCUTS him! The fans fire up, and Orton R- NO, Drew gets away! The fans boo, but the battlelines are drawn! Even if Cody makes it out of the frying pan that is Las Vegas, it’ll be into the fire that is these contenders waiting in line! Will the American Nightmare be ready for whoever comes for the crown?

 

WWE Tag Team Championships: The Street Profits VS Pretty Deadly!

Montez Ford & Angelo Dawkins are finally golden again, but it’s time to put the titles on the line already! And while they’re ready for the grind, they’re up against the hometown heroes! Will the Profits still be up in the O2? Or will Kit Wilson & Elton Prince say #YESBOY to a new reign of their own?

The introductions are made, the belts are raised, and we see who really wants the smoke!

The teams sort out and Kit starts with Dawkins. They tie up, Dawkins headlocks, but Kit powers up and out. Dawkins runs Kit over, the fans fire up, and Dawkins fires hands on Kit in the corner! The fans rally for Pretty Deadly, Dawkins whips Kit to a corner, but Elton takes that bump! Kit CLOBBERS Dawkins, then tags Elton! Atomic drop into DROPKICK! Ford runs up, but into a DOUBLE HIP TOSS! Dawkins whips, Elton reverses, and then Elton hurdles so Kit can DDT! The fans fire up with Pretty Deadly while the Profits bail out. Pretty Deadly has control while SmackDown goes picture in picture.

Elton is right on Dawkins as he gets in, and UPPERCUTS him to the corner. Elton clinches Dawkins for another UPPERCUT! Tag to Kit, and Elton RAMS into Dawkins so Kit can UPPERCUT! Dawkins flops over, Kit drags him up to wrench the arm. Kit whips, Dawkins reverses, but Kit grabs ropes. Kit ELBOWS Dawkins, DECKS Ford, but Dawkins CLOBBERS Kit! The ref reprimands but Dawkins RAMS Kit into the corner again and again! The ref counts, Dawkins fires fast hands, then he tags in Ford. Ford says, “SUCK IT!” then he KICKS Kit! Ford scuffs Kit, then drags him to a cover, TWO!

Ford keeps Kit down with a facelock, but Kit endures the grind. Kit fights up, fires body shots, but Ford whips him away. Kit sunset flips! Ford rolls through, and PENALTY KICKS! Ford mocks Elton with the Scott Hall fingers, and the ref has to keep Elton back. Ford drags Kit up, tags Dawkins, and the Profits mug Kit. Dawkins CLUBS Kit down, then stalks him. Dawkins stays between Kit and Elton, then whips Kit into the Profits’ corner. CYCLONE- NO, Kit dodges! Ford tags in, he keeps Kit from Elton now, but Kit slips out of the suplex! Kit fakes high to go low, hot tag to Elton! Elton rallies with LARIAT after LARIAT!

Elton kicks and whips Ford to a corner, then UPPERCUTS! Elton whips the other way, UPPERCUTS again, and then does it again! Elton adds to the hattrick with a lift, Ford says a quick prayer before the SUPLEX! Ford flounders, gets to his feet, but Elton dodges to springboard and FLYING UPPERCUT! Cover, TWO! Ford stays in this, but Elton stays on him. SmackDown returns to single picture and fans rally for Pretty Deadly as Elton gives Ford a back suplex. Ford lands out, waistlocks, but Elton switches and shoves Ford. Ford CLOBBERS Elton in return! Ford is also dazed but he covers, ONE!

Kit reaches out, Elton and Ford both crawl, hot tags to Kit and Dawkins! The fans fire up as Dawkins wrenches Kit, underhooks and SILENCER! Dawkins Electric Chair Lifts Kit, Ford climbs, but Kit slips free! Kit shoves Dawkins into Ford! Ford falls to the floor, but Dawkins ENZIGIRIS Kit! Elton tags in, and Kit LARIATS Dawkins! Pretty Deadly combine for DRY MARTI-KNEES! Cover, TWO!! Dawkins survives and the Profits are a bit unsure of what to do next. Dawkins crawls to a corner, Elton runs up, but Dawkins dodges! Elton hits buckles and Dawkins TOSSES Kit, then Dawkins hits a SKY HIGH on Elton!

Dawkins hurries to tag Ford and Ford climbs up! But Kit pushes Elton out of the way! Kit takes FROM THE HEAVESN, and Elton ghost pins Ford! TWO!! Ford escapes, and he ROCKS Elton! Elton UPPERCUTS Ford! Dawkins sneaks a tag, Ford SUPERKICKS! POUNCE SAIDO COMBO!! Cover, KIT BREAKS IT! The fans fire up while all four men are down! The teams go to opposite ends, then they all stand up in the corners. They all roar, all run in, and Kit SPEARS Ford while Elton FLYING UPPERCUTS Dawkins!! London is thunderous, and Kit hurries to tag in! Pretty Deadly gets Dawkins up, for SPILT MILK!! Cover, FORD BREAKS IT!

The fans are shocked, as is Elton, but Ford saves this for his team! “This is Awesome!” as Ford runs up and Elton TOSSES him out! Now DRY MARTI- NO! Dawkins doesn’t accept the second serving, and he DUMPS Kit out! Kit skins the cat while Dawkins DECKS Elton! Dawkins catches Kit to an Electric Chair! Ford rises, DOOMSDAY BLOCKBUSTER!! Cover, Profits win!

Winners: The Street Profits, by pinfall (still WWE Tag Team Champions)

Pretty Deadly put up a heroic fight, but the hometown heroes could not capture the gold. Dawkins & Ford hold onto the gold, will this be the strongest the Profits have ever been?

 

Kayden & Katana talk with Zelina Vega.

Carter & Chance know La Muneca got screwed over by The Green Administration. Chelsea thinks she’s untouchable, but someone’s gonna stop them eventually. Well, speaking of, Alba Fyre leads the way in as she & Piper Niven “scope the perimeter.” There’s one small threat. They frisk the “miniscule” threat, but nothing they haven’t dealt with before. Chelsea struts in and says, “The Eagle has landed~!” Zelina says she is so glad the “Bootleg Men in Black” have crashed the party. Now, yeah, they all know she’s small. But clearly this small “threat” is a big threat to Chelsea’s title reign. Otherwise, it wouldn’t have taken all three of them to beat her.

KC Squared agree with that. How about tonight, we see what happens when the odds are even? Chelsea says that’s fine, because Agents P & A are ready. The Secret Her-vice has been given their next mission, but will they be able to crash the party? Or will the party crash them?

Kayden Carter & Katana Chance VS The Secret Her-vice!

SmackDown returns and The Green Administration makes their entrance. The teams sort out, Alba starts against Katana, and the two tie up. Alba KNEES low, CLUBS Katana down, then fireman’s carries. Katana fights free, tags Kayden, and they KICK, double whip, and then trip Alba up for the basement DROPKICK! Katana adds a slingshot SENTON, Kayden covers, TWO! Kayden tags Katana, they double whip Alba to a corner, then Kayden runs in. Alba DUMPS Kayden out, ROCKS Katana, and she tags Piper! Katana arm-drags Alba out, then goes out to run up. Kayden gives her a boost, Katana CROSSBODIES Alba down!

The fans fire up, but Piper goes up and out?! CANNONBALL and down goes KC Squared! Piper salutes Chelsea and SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns, Kayden rallies on Alba while the fans rally up. Kayden fires up, runs in and whips, but Alba reverses. Kayden wheelbarrows, victory rolls, then SUPERKICKS! Kayden fires up again but the fans are torn. Kayden runs in at Alba to BOOT WASH her against the ropes! Chelsea protests, Kayden kicks at her, then Kayden springboards for a LEG DROP! Cover, TWO! Alba survives, Kayden whips, but Alba KICKS back! Tag to Piper, but Kayden jackknife bridges Alba! The ref explains bout the tag, Piper runs up, but Kayden moves! The SENTON hits Alba! Piper panics, Kayden tags Katana!

Katana goes up onto Kayden’s shoulders, VICTORY ROLL LAUNCHER, but Piper catches Katana! Katana fires hands, BOOTS, and then hurries to go up again. Kayden ROCKS Piper, and fireman’s carries?! SAMOAN DROP! Kayden then gives Katana the boost, for the KEG STAND SPLASH!! Cover, ALBA BREAKS IT! Kayden runs up on Alba to BOOT her out! Katana gives Kayden the boost now, SUPER CROSSBODY onto Alba! Kayden hurries to tag back in, and she brings Piper up. Piper swings, Kayden dodges and SUPERKICKS! Katana goes up, Piper staggers over that way, but Chelsea distracts the ref!

The fans are torn as Alba grabs Katana. Katana kicks Alba down, chases Chelsea off, but Piper sends Kayden into her! Piper scoops to PIPER DRIVER!! Cover, Secret Her-vice wins!

Winner: The Secret Her-vice, by pinfall

The Women’s US Champion helps her team, and now they all mug Kayden & Katana! But here comes Zelina! Vega runs down the ramp, CLOBBERS Alba, and then she gets in the ring! Zelina tilt-o-whirl DDTS Piper! And she KNEES Alba off the apron! But Chelsea CLOBBERS Zelina! Chelsea fires up, the UK is oddly with her, and she chicken wings Zeina. But Zelina fights free to fire forearms and body shots! And a BACK ELBOW! Zelina reels Chelsea in, CODE- SUPERKICK from Alba! SENTON from Piper! The Green Administration is just too much for Zelina to fight against alone! But can she, Kayden & Katana find a way to turn things around?

 

WWE United States Championship: LA Knight VS Braun Strowman!

Did the Mega Star just get this title back from Shinsuke Nakamura? YEAH! Did he help the Monster of All Monsters fight off Solo Sikoa’s rouge bloodline? YEAH! And now, does he have to defend this title against the monster he just helped? YEAH!! But will Knight still reign this close to WrestleMania? Or will Braun #GetTheseHands back on a championship?

The introductions are made, the belt is raised, and it’s time for Knight’s biggest challenge, YEAH!

The bell rings and the fans rally up as the two circle. The two tie up, and Braun SHOVES Knight away. Knight comes back, Braun SHOVES him down again! Knight gets up, gets around, and he headlocks. Braun powers up to back suplex, but Knight lands out! Knight tries but Braun’s too big to suplex! Braun ELBOWS Knight, storms up on him, but Knight fires haymakers! Knight whips, Braun reverses, but Knight KICKS back! Knight runs, but Braun HIP TOSSES! Cover, TWO! Knight stays in this, but Braun brings him up. Braun puts Knight in a corner, CHOPS, then runs, for a SPLASH! Knight sputters along ropes, Braun keeps moving, but Knight DUMPS him out!

The fans fire up as Knight then WRECKS Braun with a dropkick! Knight keeps moving, and he WRECKS Braun again! The fans fire up with Knight, but then Braun BOOTS Knight down! The fans are torn but Braun stands tall as SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and Braun puts Knight back in the ring. The fans cheer as Knight KICKS Braun! Knight tries again, but Braun’s still too big to back suplex! Braun CLUBS Knight, then runs in at the corner. Knight BOOTS Braun, goes up, and FLYING BULLDOGS! Both men are down and the fans fire up! Knight and Braun rise back up, and Knight dodges a shot to JAB! Then he dodges to JAB! JAB! JAB! “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” But Braun KNEES low! Braun scoops, Knight slips free, and Knight RAMS Braun into buckles! Then the BACK SUPLEX! The fans fire up and Knight rises again! Knight spells it out, “L! A! KNIGHT! YEAH!” ELBOW DROP! Cover, TWO!

Braun has plenty left in the tank but the fans rally for Knight. Knight stands Braun up to kick low, but Braun THROWS Knight away! Knight rises, and Braun LARIATS Knight up and out! The fans fire up as Braun rips the shirt! Braun gets on the track, and he runs in, STROWMAN EXPRESS MEETS JACOB FATU!! The Samoan Werewolf strikes Braun down!

Winner: Braun Strowman, by disqualification; LA Knight retains the title

The fans boo as Jacob now goes after Knight! He just ruined what was becoming a great match, but Jacob fires HEADBUTT after HEADBUTT on Braun! SAMOAN DROP onto the desk!! The desk doesn’t budge, but Braun might’ve been broken in half! The UK fires up for Fatu as he puts Braun in the ring! Jacob fires more HEADBUTTS, then HEADBUTTS away on Braun in the corner! The fans sing “OLE~ OLE OLE OLE, FATU~, FATU~!” Jacob runs corner to corner, but Knight kicks him first! Knight fires haymakers, “YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!” Jacob denies the BFT to POP-UP SAMOAN DROP! And then HIP ATTACK for Braun anyway!

Jacob keeps going, HIP ATTACK for Braun again! Jacob throws off his jacket, glares at Braun, and he runs in for a third HIP ATTACK! Braun flounders into the drop zone, so Jacob goes up, up, BEST MOONSAULT EVER! Direct hit on Braun, but the fans want that “ONE MORE TIME!” Jacob obliges, BEST MOONSAULT EVER! The Samoan Werewolf just tore up #OneBigSOB and LA Knight, will there be no stopping him from taking the United States Championship?

 

Backstage interview with Jimmy Uso.

Jackie Redmond is with #BigJim, and she says that while she knew WWE was going global this month, she did not know they’d get the slap heard ’round the world! Jimmy says he’d do it again, and he’ll slap Gunther as many times as he needs! Jimmy knows Jey is up in his own head, doubt is creeping on him. But just because Jey’s 0-3 against Gunther doesn’t mean Gunther’s unbeatable! The Ring General CAN be got! Jimmy’s going to Raw this Monday, he will bust Gunther’s ass, Jey will go to Mania and bust Gunther’s ass to become the WWE World Heavyweight Champion. And then they leave Las Vegas just like this: YEET!

Jimmy heads out, but then The Miz & Carmelo Hayes walk by. Miz is mocking Jimmy’s words, and he asks excuse me. Miz says it’s just funny that suddenly, Jimmy is a tough guy, even though for most of his career, he’s been “The Other Uso.” Doesn’t Jimmy get it? Jimmy and Jey are career sidekicks while Gunther is a main character. Gunther is the lead, neither Jimmy nor Jey can beat him. And here’s another thing: The Usos are just blips on the trailer that was Roman Reigns’ Bloodline. Melo says Jimmy & Jey are stuck outside the club, they can’t even get in.

Miz says as a former WWE Champion, a former WrestleMania main eventer, Jimmy will never know what it is to carry this industry. And after this year’s WrestleMania, neither will Jey. Oh, and by the way, if Jimmy ever slapped Miz like that, Jimmy would still be on the ground. Jimmy feints the slap and Miz freaks out. Jimmy says it may be him and Gunther on Monday, but he’ll holler at Aldis real quick so it can be Jimmy VS Miz here tonight. Yeah, YEET! Jimmy heads out, Melo says he thought Miz was gonna do something about the slap. Will Miz have to do something about running his mouth before he gets his teeth kicked in?

 

Solo Sikoa & Tama Tonga find Jacob Fatu backstage.

Solo asks Jacob what the Hell he was doing out there. Jacob goes out there alone without saying a thing to them? Jacob says he ain’t gotta say nothing to nobody! Matter fact, didn’t Solo not tap in with him last week? Tama says, “But Jacob,” only for Jacob to say, “But nothing, Tama!” Solo wants Jacob to lower his tone, but Jacob says okay. Let him be very clear with them. When it comes to Braun Strowman, Jacob WILL be the last man standing. Y’all better get in where you fit in, cuz that US title? Oh, Jacob’s bringing it home to the family. And he will do it with them, or without them! Yadada mean? Fatu heads out, is the Samoan Werewolf no longer following Solo?

 

Naomi speaks.

“I mean… How did we even get here? I don’t know. One thing that I do know is that I’ve always been the woman to do the right thing. I’ve always been the woman to do the right thing. So Bianca, what makes you think that my attack on Jade was anything different from me doing the right thing? When I sit here and I think about all that I’ve sacrificed, all that I’ve given, and that’s what really breaks my heart. Because through all of that, I’m made to be the bad one in this situation. I just don’t understand, how does Jade come in outta nowhere and take my place with you? I want you to ask yourself this, Bianca. Who inspired you? Hmm?

“Who’s inspired women over the last decade? Who’s always had your back from day one of you being here? Me. Not Jade. Hmm. But you know what? What I’ve learned through all of this: You teach people how to treat you. And I’m done with being treated as a third wheel. I’m done being pushed to the side, I’m done with being too nice, I’m done with being undervalued, underutilized, underappreciated! So moving forward, hmm… Moving forward, here’s my message to you, Jade. If you continue to be in my way, I strongly advise you to proceed with caution.” The Glow shows her dark side, but will the storm be moved?

 

Nick Aldis meets with Jade Cargill.

Speaking of, the SmackDown General Manager understands things have been rather difficult for her as of late. Jade says she’s been trying to get her hands on Naomi for the past few weeks, now where is she? No one has seen her all day, so as far as anyone knows, Naomi’s not here. Well, when Jade catches Naomi, it’s on sight. Jade leaves, B-Fab & Michin are there. They let her know that what Naomi did to her was straight trash, totally uncalled for behavior. And after Jade gets her hands on Naomi, she’ll handle that business. Jade agrees. Mia says they’ve all got business to handle. Jade’s got Naomi, and Mia’s gonna get Charlotte for messing with her girl, B.

B-Fab says Naomi’s got what’s coming to her: no sympathy, no regrets. Jade, just do what you gotta do. Oh, she will. Jade also wishes Mia luck tonight. Mia & B-Fab head out, will the Head Baddie in Charge make the Queen bow down in London?

 

The darkness approaches.

“You are as I was. As I am, you will be.” The shadows are starting to take shape, but is SmackDown about to fade to black?

 

Charlotte Flair VS Mia Yim w/ B-Fab!

The Queen looks down on everyone, so it’s no surprise that everyone else wants to take her down. Charlotte may have checked off B-Fab, but will the HBIC be a much different story? Or will Charlotte only sharpen her edge before facing Tiffany Stratton at WrestleMania?

WAIT! NAOMI ATTACKS B-FAB & MICHIN! Naomi drags Mia up for a FACEBUSTER! Naomi rains down fists, the ref reprimands and the fans boo, but Naomi tells the ref to back off. Naomi then BOOTS B-Fab off the apron! Naomi goes out after B-Fab to THRWO her into barriers! Naomi SLAPS B-Fab, tells her to stay down, but B-Fab gets up. Naomi fires hands, then she SMACKS B-Fab off the desk! Naomi rains down fists, but here comes Jade! Jade hurries down the ramp, she runs around the way, but Naomi runs away! Jade makes sure B-Fab is okay, but refs have to help her to the back. And what of Mia? Will she even be able to compete?

Charlotte makes her entrance, not really caring about what Naomi just did to Mia. But that means she also crosses paths with Jade. The fans like the look of this stare down, but Jade and Charlotte both let the other slide. Charlotte gets her pyro, and it seems she’ll still get her match. Will Mia be little more than an appetizer now?

The bell rings, and Charlotte BOOTS Mia down! Cover, TWO! Mia stays in this and the fans rally up. Charlotte just struts around while SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns, Charlotte has Mia down with a chinlock, but the fans rally up. Mia fights up, fires body shots, and she then blocks a shot to ROCK Charlotte! Mia ROCKS Charlotte again and again, then reels her in for a TORNADO DDT! The fans fire up as Mia hurries to cover, TWO! Mia drags Charlotte up, wrenches, but Charlotte says no to Da Feet! BIG back suplex! Mia stagger sup, Charlotte whips her, but Mia reverses! Charlotte goes up and out, BOOTS her away, then slingshots in and rolls Mia! Mia rolls through and BUZZSAWS! Mia runs corner to corner, but Charlotte avoids the cannonball!

Charlotte YAKUZA KICKS Mia down, then fires herself up! The fans “WOO~!” as Charlotte has Mia in the drop zone,. Charlotte steps on her, goes up the corner, but Mia gets underneath her! SIT-OUT POWERBOMB! Cover, TWO! Charlotte survives and Mia is shocked! Mia nods as the fans rally back up, and she brings Charlotte up. But Charlotte ROCKS Mia! Mia SOBATS, PELES, and then runs to PENALTY KICK! Cover, TWO! Charlotte stays in this, Mia grows frustrated, but the fans continue to rally. Mia uses that energy to stay focused, and she stalks Charlotte to waistlock. But Charlotte ELBOWS her away!

Charlotte CHOPS, and CHOPS, and CHOSP! Charlotte winds up, and she CHOPS again! Mia sputters, but then she dodges the boot! Charlotte is caught, and Mia hits a SAIDO! Charlotte flounders to a corner, the fans rally behind Mia, and Mia runs up, CANNONBALL! Mia hurries to wrench and EAT- NO, Charlotte shoves Mia away! Charlotte gets under, back suplexes, but Mia lands out! EAT DA FEET!! Cover, ROPEBREAK!! Charlotte’s long legs help her survive by a literal foot! Mia is beside herself while Charlotte bails out. Mia storms after Charlotte, runs up, but Charlotte dodges! Mia’s kick hits steel steps!

Mia hobbles away, goes to the apron, but Charlotte CHOP BLOCKS the bad leg out! Charlotte grabs Mia’s leg, drops a KNEE on the knee, but fans chant, “We Want Tiffy!” Charlotte just steps through, FIGURE FOUR, into FIGURE EIGHT!! Mia taps, Charlotte wins!

Winner: Charlotte Flair, by submission

Charlotte got more of a fight out of Mia than expected, but she still won. Will The Queen be more than ready to reign again after WrestleMania?

 

Backstage interview with Tiffany Stratton.

Jackie Redmond is with the WWE Women’s Champion and says Charlotte certainly looks confident. Let’s be real, Charlotte came at Tiff pretty hard. It got a lot of people talking. Tiff says yes, people talk. And Charlotte sure loves to hear herself talk. Ten years into the business and Charlotte is still so insecure that she can’t let a “rookie” get a word out. But last week, Tiff did learn something: She learned that walking into WrestleMania, she isn’t the one with something to lose. Truth is, if Tiff loses, then she lost to the great Charlotte Flair, as just a 25-year-old rookie with one year into SmackDown.

But if Charlotte loses… Well, then she lost to an “undeserving, delusional, unoriginal, backflip doing, blonde-hair-having, little girl.” Did she get it all? And Tiff can’t wait to hear the look on Charlotte’s face when they hear the words, “And STILL!” Then maybe Charlotte will finally shut up for the sake of literally everyone! They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, and Tiff will make damn sure what stays is Charlotte’s massive ego. Tiff is walking into and out of Mania as the WWE Women’s Champion. Tootles! Tiff heads out, will it still be #TiffyTime after WrestleMania?

 

Randy Orton VS Drew McIntyre!

The Viper told Cody how proud he was, but also how he wants the next shot after John Cena. The Scottish Terminator took offense to that, and basically said he is taking that shot instead. Will this match be an unofficial #1 contender’s match between these two former world champions?

SmackDown returns and McIntyre makes his entrance. The bell rings and the fans sing, “OH~, Drew McIntyre~!” and chant “R K O! R K O!” Drew and Orton circle, tie up, and they go around in a deadlock. Drew powers Orton to a corner, but Orton headlocks back. Drew powers up and out, then he runs Orton over! Orton hurries to ropes and Drew mockingly asks, “How’s the back feel, Randy?” Orton stands, he and Drew reset, and the fans duel some more. Drew calls for a knuckle lock, Orton accepts, but then Drew kicks low! Drew bumps Orton off buckles, then climbs up, but he panders for too long and Orton YANKS him down!

The fans fire up as Orton climbs now! Orton rains down fists, and the fans count to nine. Orton hops down, brings Drew around, and POSTS him for ten! Drew tumbles out of the ring, Orton goes out after him, and they’re by the desk! But Drew kicks Orton first and SMACKS him off the desk! Drew clears the desk, and he brings Orton up for the DESK- NO, Orton fights free! Orton turns things around, DESK BACK SUPLEX for Drew! The fans fire up while Orton leaves Drew behind, and SmackDown goes picture in picture.

Drew writhes on the floor, but Orton goes out to fetch him! Orton brings Drew around, UPPERCUTS him, then says one more time! DESK BACK SUPLEX! Drew writhes as that desk stays standing! Orton grins, refreshes the ring count, and then he storms up on Drew. Drew pokes Orton in the eye! Drew POSTS Orton now, then brings him around to RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP into barriers! Orton slumps down, and Drew also grits his teeth from that double-edged attack, but Drew fires up as he stands tall. Drew drags Orton up, puts him in the ring, then stalks Orton. Drew looms over Orton, and HIP DROPS him!

Orton sputters, Drew says one more time, and he winds up for the HIP DROP! Drew paces around Orton, says maybe one more time, and he pretends he can’t hear the fans. Drew winds up again, but Orton flips over! Hip drop meets kneecaps! And then Orton pokes Drew in the eyes! The ref reprimands but Orton rises up. Drew sputters and flounders, Orton ROCKS him with a right! Drew ROCKS Orton back! Drew storms up, Orton kicks low, but Drew fires another haymaker! The haymakers go back and forth, Orton gets the edge, but Drew GLASGOW KISS HEADBUTTS! Cover, TWO! Drew clamps onto Orton with an armlock!

SmackDown returns to single picture and the fans rally up. Orton fights up, pries at the chinbar, and then throws right hands! Drew CHOPS Orton in return! The fans “WOO~” and Drew winds up. Drew ROCKS Orton again, eggs him on, then CHOPS again! Drew shoves Orton to a corner, CHOPS again, then dares Orton to fight! Drew whips corner to corner, but Orton comes back to LARIAT! And LARIAT! Drew swings, Orton dodges, SNAP POWERSLAM! The fans fire up as Orton stalks Drew to the apron. Drew HOTSHOTS Orton first! Drew then runs in, but Orton puts him through the ropes!

The fans fire up as Orton has Drew for the DRAPING DDT! The fans fire up for Orton, and Orton hears those voices! Drew rises, but then Orton spots KEVIN OWENS! The Prizefighter is on the ramp, Orton glares at him, but then he turns around into a CLAYMORE!! Cover, DREW WINS!

Winner: Drew McIntyre, by pinfall

Kevin’s mere presence costs Orton, and now Drew has a huge win propelling him down the Road to WrestleMania! As for Orton, Kevin drags him out of the ring, SMACKS him off the desk, and then climbs up to join him! The fans boo but Kevin and his hot pink sneakers have Orton in position, but Orton slips free and TRIPS Kevin up! Kevin hits the desk then the floor! Orton staggers around, the fans rally behind him, and Orton stalks Kevin to the corner of the barriers. Orton lines up the shot! Orton runs in, but Kevin jumps over barriers! Security is there to stop Orton from pursuing, so Kevin runs away into the night!

The fans boo, but The Viper was that close! Will Orton be able to strike Kevin down and completely take him out?

 

Fire, thunder, smoke…

The force of nature is drawing ever closer. And he’s ready to fly! REY FENIX arrives next Friday Night SmackDown!

 

Jimmy Uso VS The Miz!

#BigJim gave Gunther a piece of his mind and a mark on his cheek, but it seems not everyone got the message. Will the Hollywood A-lister soon star in the Uso Penitentiary? Or will he prove Jimmy is NOT ready for a world champion level opponent?

The bell rings and the two tie up. Jimmy powers Miz to a corner, Miz turns things around, and the ref counts. Miz takes a swing, Jimmy ducks it to CHOP! And CHOP! Miz shoves Jimmy back, then runs up, but Jimmy TACKLES Miz! Jimmy rains down fists, Miz shoves him away to go to ropes, but Jimmy storms back up. Miz ELBOWS Jimmy away, then runs back up, only for Jimmy to LARIAT him down! The fans fire up while Jimmy storms up on Miz. Jimmy CHOPS Miz, has him in a corner, then whips corner to corner. Miz reverses, Jimmy goes up and over, then UPPERCUTS! Miz staggers back to ropes, but Jimmy is right on him.

Jimmy whips, Miz reverses and kitchen sink knees! Then basement BOOTS! The fans fire up, Miz scowls, and Miz KNEES Jimmy in the back again and again. Miz stalks Jimmy to the ropes now, and he CHOKES Jimmy! The ref counts, Miz runs, and Miz STRADDLE ATTACKS! The fans boo, but Miz runs again. Jimmy ducks the boot, then dodges a lariat! Jimmy runs up to LARIAT Miz up and out! The fans fire up and Jimmy builds speed, but Miz runs away! Jimmy smirks as he goes out the side, and UPPERCUTS Miz over the barriers! Jimmy makes sure Gunther knows he’s coming to get him, but SmackDown goes to break.

SmackDown returns and both men are down. Miz and Jimmy crawl, and Jimmy pounds the mat. The fans rally, Jimmy rises and runs up to LARIAT! And LARIAT! And mule kick! Jimmy then UPPERCUTS Miz, dodges a lariat, then SAMOAN DROPS! The fans fire up, Jimmy goes to the corner, “UCE! OH!” Jimmy runs in, but Miz puts him on the apron! Jimmy UPPERCUTS again! Jimmy climbs, leaps, but Miz gets under! Miz then waistlocks, ripcords, and MOVIE MAKER! Fans boo that blatant parody, but Miz full nelsons! Jimmy drops, victory rolls, TWO! Miz has the cover, TWO! Miz hurries to BASEMENT DDT! Cover, TWO!

The fans rally up as Jimmy survives! Miz stalks Jimmy, the fans rally up more, and Miz fires a KICK! And then another KICK! The fans say “YES! YES! YES!” to the It Kicks, but then Miz winds up. Jimmy ducks the buzzsaw, Miz blocks the superkick, but the DRAGON WHIP connects! Miz rebounds to B-MOVIE KNEE!! Cover, TWO!! The parodies don’t get it done, but Miz still has his original work to fall back on. The fans rally for “UCE! OH! UCE! OH!” Miz runs in, A-LIST LARIAT! Miz shoves Jimmy down, then springboards, but into a SUPERKICK! Jimmy hurries up top, for the USO SPLASH!! Cover, Jimmy wins!

Winner: Jimmy Uso, by pinfall

Miz may be a movie star, but Big Jim’s the one winning this main event! Jimmy then borrows Joe Tessitore’s headset to call out Gunther! He’s coming after dat ass on Monday! Gunther won’t be the ring general, he will be “Private Gunther,” and he will salute Big Jim! Uh, uh, YEET! Will Jimmy be the one making examples out of the World Heavyweight Champion? Or will everything come crashing down when Gunther gets his turn?

 

Drew McIntyre returns backstage.

And he says hey to Lewis Capaldi, the Grammy-nominated singer-songwriter, and also a big fan of Drew’s. They’re ready to have a good night in the pub, but Jackie Redmond walks over to congratulate him on the win tonight. She was hoping to get some thoughts on that victory and what happened with Orton and Kevin. Drew says it’s alright, this is what happens. He doesn’t care about anybody else’s business, but no one gets away with screwing him over. And when no one meddles in his business, he wins! Drew called out Priest, where is he? Priest doesn’t have the balls! So time to get mad in the pubs, everyone’s invited!

Drew turns the corner, but PRIEST IS THERE! Priest ROCKS Drew, SMACKS him off the door, then throws him into road cases! Priest ROCKS Drew, SMACKS him off the trunk of a car, and then again! Or since it’s London, “the boot.” The driver complains, but Priest BODY SLAMS that guy through a table! Drew comes back to KNEE Priest low, SMACK him off the trunk, and then off the side! They go to the hood, or bonnet for UK. Drew drags Priest up, but Priest CLAWS Drew’s eyes! Priest then sends Drew SOUTH OF HEAVEN through the windshield! Priest tells security that he’s done for now. Any more jokes, Drew? Didn’t think so! RIP, jackass!

Priest leaves, the producers hurry to help Drew, and Drew’s got glass in his eye! Will that glass help Drew see why he shouldn’t piss off the Punisher?

 

CM Punk heads to gorilla.

He has a security detail with him, and he passes by Drew writhing in pain. Punk chuckles, then continues on. Will his contract signing with Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins be just as brutal? We find out, after the break.

 

Nick Aldis is in the ring.

The SmackDown General Manager welcomes us back, and says it is his honor and privilege to be here in the O2 in London. Now, we all know why he and this table is here, and why additional security is here tonight. Tonight, we are here to sign a contract for a Triple Threat. Perhaps the biggest Triple Threat in the history of WrestleMania: Seth Rollins VS CM Punk VS Roman Reigns! The fans cheer all those names, and here comes the OTC! London puts the ones up, and Paul Heyman accompanies THE Tribal Chief out on stage. Roman raises his finger to the sky for the pyro, then security follows him to the ring.

SmackDown goes picture in picture as Roman’s entrance continues, and he raises his finger to the sky for the second round of pyro. Roman steps into the ring, SmackDown returns to single picture, and Heyman hands him a mic. The fans sing, “ROMAN! ROMAN REIGNS~!” Roman nods, the fans cheer, and now they chant, “O T C! O T C!” Roman tells London, “ACKNOWLEDGE ME!” The fans cheer again, and again chant, “O T C! O T C!” Roman smiles, but he sees the chairs are not to his liking. Heyman makes sure to put one at the head of the table. Heyman also dusts the chair off while Roman enjoys the singing of, “ROMAN! ROMAN REIGNS~!”

Roman takes a seat and says that was beautiful. The way they sing to their Tribal Chief, it’s just beautiful. The singing continues, and Heyman even joins in! Roman smiles, and he says that is what he’s talking about. That’s the OTC for you, baby! The biggest star on the planet! The OTC came here for two reasons. One: to be acknowledged; check! And two: to sign this contract. Roman does just that, and he says he’s checked both boxes. That means- “BURN IT DOWN!” Seth Rollins interrupts! The fans now sing, “WHOA~ OH~ OHH~!” Rollins struts out in his red wine paisley suit and conducts the O2 Choir all the way into the ring.

The fans cheer while Roman frowns, but Rollins takes the seat to Roman’s left. Rollins offers Heyman a chance to sing to this song, but Heyman frowns. Rollins chuckles, and he says the fans do have beautiful singing voices. He doesn’t know why Roman is in such a hurry to leave, though! This is their building! There’s a lot of history here! 12 years ago, they landed on the roof of this place in a helicopter! They came down those stairs over there, “ready to burn down the old guard!” They put the Undertaker down through the desk, and they were going to remake this company in their image!

Now don’t get him wrong, Rollins knows a lot has happened since then. They fought against each other, with each other, a little bit of love and a whole lot of hate. But Rollins dare says, as the fans continue to sing “WHOA~ OH~ OHH~,” that Rollins and Roman accomplished their mission. The fans start to chant for CM Punk, but Rollins tunes them out. Roman says, “We? We? You keep saying we. Our mission? We died a long time ago. It’s only been ME. You been here, but I done all the work! I’ve made this place what it is today! I took us to the level that we are here today! I made this place better than we found it!

“I’m the one that made us desirable to Netflix! I’m the one that took us into billion-dollar deals! Tell me, what have you done?” Rollins shouts, “I’ll tell you what I’ve done! YOU, YOU, YOU, it’s that mindset that keeps me having to screw you! You understand that? And your biggest mistake is not understanding the danger that’s right in front of us! The danger that’s right in front of you! You let the biggest snake in the world, CM Punk, into the garden! And you could’ve cut his head off at WarGames! But instead, you shook his hand. You could’ve let me finish him inside the cage at The Garden, but you didn’t. And now, I am left to do what I always do: Clean up your mess, again.”

Rollins drops his mic, picks up the pen, and signs his part. And now, here comes CM PUNK! The fans fire up and sing along with Cult of Personality, then join in on saying, “IT’S CLOBBERIN’ TIME~!” Punk goes to the ring, but as he grabs a mic, he goes up a corner, just like he did last Friday. “I have come here to chew bubblegum and sign a contract. And I’m all outta bubblegum.” The fans cheer the Rowdy Roddy Piper reference, and Punk hops down to take his seat on Roman’s right. Punk looks over said contract, but Roman asks if Punk needs a highlighter or something. What’s he doing? Just go to page four, clause five.

Punk does as Roman says, but Roman says Punk needs to hurry, this is precious TV time. Punk reads the segment, Roman tells Heyman to just smarten Punk up. Heyman tells Punk he knows what Punk is looking for. It is in there. They’re closing the show at WrestleMania. The fans go wild hearing that! Heyman tells Punk that he gets to live his dream of dreams. CM Punk will be a WrestleMania main eventer! The fans cheer and while Roman smiles, Rollins is furious. Roman says, “One man’s dream is another man’s favor! CHECK!” Wait, this was the favor? Rollins says no! This is not something to laugh at, and Punk does not get to tear up!

Punk is NOT deserving! He does NOT deserve this! The fans boo but Rollins continues to throw a fit! Main eventing WrestleMania is SACRED, the most important thing in the world to Rollins! More than anything! Except the fact that Punk NEVER gets to main event! This is all Roman’s fault! This is all Heyman’s fault! Rollins THROWS his mic down, paces angrily, but Punk picks up the mic. The fans cheer Punk on again, and Punk stands to thank London, to thank Chicago, to thank Louisville, Kentucky, and to thank ALL the fans. As corny as it sounds, he thanks the WWE Universe who stood by him and chanted his name for TEN LONG YEARS!

Roman says hold on, hold on. Punk shouldn’t be thanking the fans! He should be thanking the Tribal Chief! It is because of Roman that Punk gets this honor! So please, take this moment, close the show with that acknowledgement! Do this the right way. The credits are already rolling as Punk kneels before Roman!? Punk smiles, and he thanks “My Tribal Chief, the holder of the ula fala, the Head of the Table, the… Big Dog? Thank you for allowing a kid from Chicago to be graced by your presence. Thank you, My Tribal Chief, for allowing me to stand in your ring. And thank you so much. Thank you, Roman Reigns, so very much.

“But because of you, I will see you in the main event of WrestleMania.” And again, Rollins is agonizing over this. Punk finishes putting his signature on the contract, and London tells him, “You Deserve It!” Punk thanks Roman again, and then says, “But that’s not the favor that I’m owed.” WHAT?! Roman looks at Heyman and Heyman can’t look him in the eye! If getting this Triple Threat made into the main event isn’t the gift of the Wise Man, then what is?!

My Thoughts:

A good SmackDown, but they pulled off quite the paradox. They made it feel like they were struggling to fill three hours, yet they also filled the show to the point where that contract signing segment was almost bleeding over the three hour mark. Ironically, part of the problem was just how excited the London crowd was for this. The superstars still wanted to enjoy the chants and songs, but that’s time SmackDown doesn’t have to spare. It made the opening promo from Cody, Orton and Drew take longer, and it kinda did the same to the contract signing at the end. Even so, we still got a very good promo, and good stuff to set up Orton VS McIntyre.

Orton VS McIntyre was a great match, but of course Kevin costs Orton. McIntyre gets his win, Kevin and Orton have a bit of a brawl, but of course Kevin ends up on the losing end and runs off. McIntyre’s trash talk also comes back to bite him as Priest gets the better of him in their brawl. Here’s hoping Drew didn’t actually get glass in his eye, but that being the thing in kayfabe can be some good stuff. I can imagine McIntyre with an eyepatch, and he takes it off at the opportune time to get the better of Priest in their match. Also what a fitting choice for Punk to be passing by Drew suffering because of real glass.

Very good title matches tonight, but of course the status quo was kept. Pretty Deadly gets to look great here in London, but the Profits only just got the belts, they’re not going to be transitional champions like that. And Knight VS Braun was really good stuff, but honestly, Jacob Fatu going after them both should’ve been a given. Jacob also had a great promo with Solo & Tama to start adding to that divide between Jacob and Solo. I would hope Solo doesn’t screw Jacob out of the US Championship, but it feels like he will as Solo won’t stand for Jacob defying his authority, even though Solo’s been trying to make Jacob the champion all along.

Very good stuff from Jimmy Uso tonight, from his promo with #MeloDon’tMiz and then a great match with Miz. Their match ended up the de facto main event match, so that’s also great for both guys. Great win for Jimmy, but that’s likely because Jimmy is losing big time to Gunther on Monday. And it might just be me, but it feels like only now is the Jey VS Gunther build really moving, largely in part because Jimmy got involved. Jimmy’s promo after his match is something along the lines of what Jey should be saying. But I suppose as brothers, Jimmy is the one who knows Jey best and knows what Jey needs to be motivated again. And seeing Jimmy get beat up by Gunther will definitely motivate Jey…

Good final vignettes for Rey Fenix and Aleister Black. I’m a little surprised they confirmed Rey Fenix is showing up next week, and that they confirmed who Rey Fenix even is. I believe commentary confirmed Rey Fenix is Penta’s real brother, even namedropped “Lucha Brothers,” but all that is still surprising considering Fenix is going to start on SmackDown. Aleister’s vignette (at least I am fairly confident it’s his) was giving us glimpses of his silhouette, but I think there was usage of AI in the snake imagery. It was fine they did it for El Grande Americano because that is all trolling, but they really should try and do things the old fashioned way of photoshop and stock imagery.

Very good stuff in the Women’s Division tonight, though the WWE Women’s Championship portion was the weaker. Naomi’s got a great Heel persona going, her promo was great, and her going after B-Fab & Michin over them supporting Jade was a great detail. Jade runs Naomi off, helps B-Fab, but there was no helping Michin in being fed to Charlotte. Tiffany had a decent promo, and it does fit how Charlotte kept her from speaking so she finally gets things out here. It didn’t really add that much, though, but they already gave us a great brawl so not sure what more they can give.

KC Squared VS The Secret Her-vice was a very good match, but of course Chelsea made sure her team won. A Six Woman Tag of Zelina & KC Squared VS The Green Administration is certainly coming, to help give us Zelina VS Chelsea for the Women’s US Championship.

My Score: 8.7/10

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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 3.27.2025

Bad news out of the TNA management side, but this is a taped episode from El Paso! So we won’t see any of the fallout just yet!

Published

1 day ago

on

March 27, 2025

By

Now we all heard the news about the TNA change in hierarchy, and I…have no positive outlook on that. Delirious sucked at booking and creative in the dying days of ROH before it got bought as a B show. Dreamer having even more control is concerning because his ideas the last two years haven’t been much better.

Gail leaving makes more sense to me. Be it firing or a “you can’t quit, you’re fired” kind of situation, the Knockouts division is the worst it’s been in a long time and Gail was close with Scott D’Amore. So I don’t think Gail parting ways is as big of a problem since TNA has slowly been bleeding out with the Scott faithful.

Granted, I think the next few shows were already taped before the firing so things shouldn’t be completely unwatchable for at least a week or two. So let’s see where we’re going.

Ratings:

  • Gigi Dolin & Tatum Paxley vs Elegance Clique w/Personal Concierge: Ash wins via Rarefied Air – ** 1/4
  • Fir$t Cla$$ & Frankie Kazarian vs Laredo Kid, Octagon Jr & Chavo Guerrero Jr: Chavo wins via Gory Bomb into Frog Splash – *** 1/4
  • Jacy Jayne vs Masha Slamovich: Masha wins via Russian Death Device – ***
  • Eric Young w/two losers vs Ace Austin: Eric wins via Piledriver – ** 1/2
  • Seto & Mokuba – I mean – Nic Nemeth w/Ryan Nemeth vs Leon Slater: Nic wins via Danger Zone – *** 1/4

 

Results:

Gigi Dolin & Tatum Paxley vs Elegance Clique w/Personal Concierge

Ash and Gigi start off, Gigi with a little Rascalz after her first takedown. So both her and Wentz are making it obvious something’s going on between them, and I’m not mad at it. Good for my man Wentz.

Tatum and Gigi get some quick tandem offense in, Ash does manage to scurry off to a tag and Heather gets bent into a Pretzel. Some kind of Inverted Tarantula from Tatum, Gigi tags in, Bronco Buster on Heather followed by Kawada Kicks. Heather sells against the ropes, Gigi goes for a Hesitation Dropkick, but Concierge pulls her away so Gigi crashes and burns. Ref is distracted, Ash gets in some cheap shots and then the Elegant duo starts working over Gigi. A few quick tags, but once Heather comes in, Gigi fights out of the corner, gets the hot tag to Tatum. Tatum stacks up both Elegance members, Corner Stacked Crossbody, Butterfly Suplex and an Elbow Drop with some some flare. Tatum goes to the top rope, Heather pulls Gigi off the apron, Concierge shoves Tatum off the turnbuckle and Ash hits Rarefied Air for the win.

Post match the Elegance Clique wants to make their wish with the cake, they light the candles and Tatum and Gigi recover enough to do what we all expected last week, the cake in the face spot. Some…suggestive licking from both of our Hot Topic Hotties, so…no complaints here. 

Fir$t Cla$$ & Frankie Kazarian vs Laredo Kid, Octagon Jr & Chavo Guerrero Jr

Chavo and Kaz start since he’s King Petty, a quick rope run turns into a Headscissor from Chavo. Kaz recovers, they lock up, Kaz hits the Knee Lift during the lock up to tag out to KC. KC pulls off some athletic dodges, gloats a bit so Chavo waits, measures and nails a gorgeous Dropkick. Laredo comes in on fire, quick high spots that send KC bouncing around like HBK against Hulk. KC powders after sells the Satellite Takedown, AJ checks on him and we go to commercial.

Back from commercial, Octagon is lighting up KC’s chest with overhand chops, he perches, Sunset Headscissor Flip from corner to corner, KC tries to Back Drop him but Octagon does a headstand, kicks KC away and lays him out with a high spot. AJ gets on the apron to stop Octagon from running the ropes, the referee has a stroke or something because he stops paying attention and AJ pulls Octagon out of the ring and chucks him. KC with the Tope con Hilo and tag (tag ropes haven’t mattered since the 80s we all know this). So AJ is getting taunted by the crowd in Spanish, but he’s manhandling Octagon since it looks like a Child fighting their parent. AJ knocks off Chavo and Laredo, Laredo pops up and tries to get involved but he’s caught on the shoulders, Octagon goes for the Crossbody but gets caught and AJ pulls off “World’s Strongest Wasteland” but Chavo breaks up the pinfall. AJ throws Octagon into the corner, Tennessee Whiskey, and tag out to KC. KC hits a few moves, but starts to lose the momentum until he connects with a Super Kick. Simultaneous rope run into the Dueling Crossbodies, so we get the timely tag outs from both sides. Kaz and Laredo come in, Laredo lands like two moves before Kaz hits a Sole Butt, Lariat and eats his lunch. KC and Kaz try to double team Laredo but he fights out and the crowd is chanting for Chavo.

Chavo tags in, and he’s rocking KC, Saito Suplex, Low Bridge to AJ, Reverse the Whip so Chavo goes to the corner and perches, KC feeds, Chavo Backflips to safety, rolls through and lays out KC. Chavo is feeling himself, 3 Amigos start on KC but only 2, Kaz comes in and Chavo switches to Kaz for the Amigos, only 2 again before AJ breaks it up. AJ goes for the disrespect, but Chavo counters and hits the 3 Amigos on the biggest Culero. Aztec Warriors dive to stop AJ and Kaz, KC tries a Dirty Victory Roll but Chavo kicks out. GORY BOMB into FROG SPLASH!

Chavo looked fantastic and he’s the one in the best shape in the ring. I wouldn’t be mad at more Chavito. 

Jacy Jayne vs Masha Slamovich

I expect very little from this match.

Collar and Elbow, gator rolling for the first 30 seconds or so, then Jacy goes to some Hair Pull takedowns and does a little taunt before Masha pops back up and hits a Lariat into a Dive. Jacy sells it like she’s really hurt, even the ref tries to hold Masha back a little before Masha gets annoyed and just grabs her, Masha throws her in, looks for a Dive and Jacy sees it and powders. Masha tries to go back to the well for the Dive again but Jacy hits the Uppercut and then an Apron Run PK to drop Masha. Forearms rain down into a Foot Choke as Jacy continues to arrogantly play to the crowd. Another Foot Choke into a Cannonball, and near fall.

Masha gets space with a Sole Butt, tries to snap off Requiem but Jacy fights off, fights through a Sunset Flip another effective PK keeps Masha on her ass. Jacy looks for a kinda half-assed Camel Clutch as Masha is fighting up, but Jacy runs her into the corner, gets distracted mouthing off to the crowd, so Masha recovers, 5 Hole Up Kick sends Jacy into the corner, Yakuza Kick into Capo Kick for two. Requiem attempt again, but Jacy pushes off, a little back and forth, Masha tries a Backslide but Jacy gets away and hits a V-Trigger but only a 2 count. Jacy looks for the Discus Punch but Masha ducks it, they strike back and forth, but some dodges from both leave the exchange more even. Jacy with the Front Kick to the face sends Masha to the outside. Jacy wants another PK, but Masha blocks, Electric Chair Apron Snake Eyes. Masha throws her in, a PK into a near all. Requiem attempt 3, and thwarted from Jacy with a Superkick into a Neckbreaker. Senton misses from Jacy, Buzzsaw Kick, into Spinning Back Kick and Russian Death Device for the win.

Better than I expected, and Tessa attacks as soon as the bell rings. Xia Brookside and Lei Ying Li make the save after Tessa grabs the belt. 

Eric Young w/two losers vs Ace Austin

Ace and Eric tie up, World of Sport start but as soon as Ace starts to get away EY punches him in the face. Eric looks at the camera and says “This is what trust looks like”, turns his back on Ace, when Ace looks to attack, the loser duo cut him off. EY takes advantage of the weird situation, but Ace with some Up and Over quick spots, into an Inside Cradle and La Magistral. EY kicks out of the quick flash attempts, but eats a Dropkick, and Ace goes all Speed Kils on him with fast strikes and then a face buster for another near fall. Strike spot very early in the match, Ace gets the best of it, goes for a Tear Drop Suplex but EY sits on it to block, Headlocks to keep him close and then a snap Lariat into beatdown bully tactics. EY takes the referee’s attention and one of the nerds punch Ace in the face.

Eric tries to lean on Ace, but Ace fires, a few strikes, Click Click Boom, the Miz Seated Lariats in the corner, Mochizuki Triangle Kick connects! Only a 2 count, but Ace seems to be in control. Ace puts EY on the ropes, a few strikes to keep him rocked, wants a Superplex, but EY blocks, bites the face and Macho Elbow gets a very close two count. EY tries the Piledriver but Ace turns it into a Jacknife Cradle,Spinning Heel Kick, calls for The Fold, but the losers hop on the apron to distract, Ace attacks them. Ace tries to time out the Triangle Kick again, but Eric dodges, throws Ace head first through the buckles. As Ace stumbles out of the corner, Piledriver, and it’s over.

Oh look it’s the “we’ll hear from Joe Hendry” segment. Again, I’ve loved this gimmick since Day 1, even didn’t hate his What Culture Pro stuff, but there is such a thing as milking a cow too much. 

Elijah interrupts the whole “Who’s next” speech. When Elijah comes out he says he’s not the challenger and he believes in Joe. The crowd wants Elijah to turn on Hendry. Elijah pauses for a moment, and starts proving his friendship with stating his favorite color and a little “You Got a Friend in Me”. The crowd is into singing along and waving their cameras like Lighters to a 30 year old song. THANKFULLY Kaz breaks up the hug fest. Now he gets the “Culero” chant. 

Kaz pulls out a Bass…what the hell is this Jam Session. Kaz has to warm up so he plays “La Cucaracha” on the bass. Kaz…is a national treasure. Hendry kicks Kaz out of the ring after his Heelish and playfully racially charged song choices. Kaz tries to sow dissension, but Joe and Elijah pinball Kaz between them. Kaz slips a power move and tries to shove Elijah into Joe but Elijah puts the brakes on, a small tense moment. But then Joe and Elijah play “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey, Goodbye”…and that goes right into a commercial. Oddly…perfect.

Nic Nemeth w/Ryan Nemeth vs Leon Slater

Nic shoots the half immediately for a flash pinfall but Leon kicks out at one. Nic continues to keep things grounded with his amateur wrestling skills, and then does a little Dolph Ziggler show off. So Nic isn’t really taking this seriously, and Leon starts getting the best of things with an Arm Wringer, into drag, Shoulder Tackle and rope run as Nic tries to Leap Frog and Leon puts on the brakes and just shoves Nic on his ass. Nic gets annoyed, a few strikes, grinds his face along the ropes, but Leon keeps stringing some offense together, Back Handspring Elbow into his Corner con Hilo.

Ahh the classic formula of the commercial gives the heel the advantage, Twisting Suplex from Leon stops Nic’s offense momentum, right hand, Leon lifts Nic up for something, Nic slips it, kicks him in the gut, looks for the FameAsser, but Leon catches him into a Blue Thunder Bomb variation. Slater wants the Swanton 450, but Nic powders. Leon tries to adjust into a Dive, but Nic cuts him off, counter for counter and a FameAsser out of the counters for a two count. Nic starts the big brother tactics, bootwashes and arrogance, Slater fires, punches into a Yakuza Kick. Leon wants another Lethal Injection variant, but Nic catches him into a Rear Naked Choke. Slater tries to turn it into a pin so Nic breaks it. Leon wants a Leg Lariat but misses and gets unceremoniously dropped by Nic. Nic puts Leon up on the buckles, Superplex possibly but Slater counters, tries to collect himself for a move, but Nic falls into the ropes to crotch Leon, and finally hits the Superplex.

Twist of Slate from Leon, Swanton 450 but knees get up. Locomotion Cradles from both but they kick out, Ryan picks the ankle to trip up Leon just a touch and then Danger Zone ends the match.

Ryan starts the post match beatdown, but the Hardy’s music hits and they come down to the ring for the save. Matt challenges the Nemeths for Rebellion because they’re not medically cleared yet.

 

Overall Score: 6.5/10

Decent story motion, no match was offensive, and there was actually some solid match action for television standards. I don’t have a ton to complain about aside from the Knockouts Division is in a weird spot, and giving Hendry a lot of just talking and hollow payoff segments feels stupid. If we need to hear from him every week, give him a talk segment like Highlight Reel or something. Yes I know First Class just got The Penthouse, but if Hendry is going to talk more than wrestle, give him a talk segment for us to sink our teeth into.

There was the announcement that Xia, Lei Ying and Masha will face Tessa, Jacy and a mystery partner. So you gotta wonder if there’s going to be another NXT mercenary, a surprise return or if it’ll just be Rosemary since she’s got her issues with Xia. Also I just realized that Unbreakable is going to be on a Thursday, seemingly after iMPACT? I’m gonna have to see how they do it, because if there’s an Impact episode and 2-3 hour PLE…I do not want to be awake until 1am. People need to work, and I will be Unwakeable if things go that long.

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