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Impact Coverage

Ja’Von’s IMPACT Wrestling Live Coverage (7/19/18)

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Official Results:

Killer Kross vs Petey Williams: Killer Kross via submission 

The Desi Hit Squad vs KM & Fallah Bahh: The Desi Hit Squad via pinfall 

Eli Drake vs Joe Hendry: Joe Hendry via pinfall

Andrew Everett vs Dezmond Xavier: No Contest

Greg Osborne vs Sami Callihan: Sami Callihan via pinfall 

Shotzi Blackheart & Tessa Blanchard vs Allie & Keira Hogan: Allie & Keira Hogan via pinfall 

Play by Play:

Cold Open:

Impact Wrestling opens with a cold opening hyping up the 16th Anniversary of the company and the card for Slammiversary.

Killer Kross vs Petey Williams:

Petey Williams makes his way to the ring for the match.

Killer Kross makes his way to the ring for the match. The bell rings and here we go. Petey goes for the quick strike and move strategy then tries to irish whips Kross but Kross counters and pulls Petey in for a bear hug. Petey gets free and tries to kick Kross but gets caught and is brought down to the mat with a suplex. Kross then lifts Williams up for a running powerslam but Petey slips out the back and begins to lay in chops but Kross catches a chop with his chin. Petey then fights back and gets a flurry of offensive.  He hits a codebreaker followed by a tilt-a-whirl DDT and then goes for the Canadian Destroyer but Kross counters and hits Petey with the Doomsday Saito then locks in the Kross Jacket submission.

The referee tries to call the match but Killer Kross scares the referee and tells him not to call it just yet. Killer Kross then allows Petey to set him up for the Canadian Destroyer then counters and slams Petey to the ground. Kross then locks in the Kross Jacket for the submission victory.

After the match Kross grabs his jacket and calling card and lays it on Petey’s body.

Winner: Killer Kross via submission 

Grado and Katerina run into Joe Hendry backstage and he questions him about his confrontation with Eli Drake last week. Hendry tells him not to worry about it and tells him he has a surprise for him. They leave and Joe Hendry goes back to him photoahoot.

The Desi Hit Squad vs KM & Fallah Bahh:

Gamma Singh is in the ring and introduces The Desi Hit Squad. The Desi Hit Squad make their way to the ring. KM and Fallah Bahh make their way to the ring for the match. Rohit jumps Fallah Bahh from behind and tries to get the upperhand on him but ends up getting taken down. Rohit then tags in Gursinder but Bahh is still in control and takes him down. The guy tries to take out KM which distracts both KM and Fallah which allows for Rohit to get the jump on Bahh. The Desi Hit Squad puts Fallah in the corner and Rohit hits big kicks on him. Fallah then fights back and makes The Desi Hit Squad collide head first into each other. KM tags in and goes on a tear even hitting a big splash on Gursinder and goes for the pin but Rohit breaks it up. Fallah comes in for the save and both guys are down which allows for both KM and Fallah Bahh to do the Panda Roll on them.

The Desi Hit Squad would regain control of the match when Gamma got on the apron to distract the referee. This allows for Gursinder to rake the eyes of Fallah and Rohit to take out KM then Gursinder rolls up Fallah for the win.

Winners: The Desi Hit Squad via pinfall 

We see a video package about the civil aar going on between LAX and The OGz. It shows everything that lead up to the 5150 street fight.

Eli Drake vs Joe Hendry w/Grado & Katernia:

Eli Drake makes his way to the ring for the match. Joe Hendry accompanied by Grado and Katerina makes his way to the ring for the match.

Before the match starts Joe Hendry gets on the mic and says that Eli Drake has been expressing his opinion of him and now it’s his turn. He plays a video on the titantron mocking Eli.

Eli would then drop Hendry and thanks him for the YouTube channel plug. The bell rings and Drake lays in the shoulderblocks to Hendry in the corner. Drake would then toss him into another corner and continue the attack. Joe would then fight back and hit a suplex on him then Irish whips him into the corner but Eli counters and sends Hendry into the coelrner and puts him on the middle rope and lends on him wearing him down. Drake would then hit a big neckbreaker and continue the attack putting him in the corner then irish whips him into another corner. Eli runs runs right into a big boot from Hendry then follows up with a clothesline then tries to go for a suplex but Drake counters then sets up for the Gravey Train. Hendry would counter and roll up Eli for the win.

Winner: Joe Hendry via pinfall 

After the match Katerina and Joe Hendry hug and jump up and down together with Grado standing on the side looking confused. They get to the top of the ramp and Hendry and Katerina hug again.

Andrew Everett vs Dezmond Xavier:

Andrew Everett makes his way to the ringfor the match. Dezmond Xavier makes his way to the ring for the match. The bell rings and here we go. Eddie Edwards would slide in the ring with a kendostick and assault the referee with the weapon then toss him out of the ring.

Eddie would then grab a mic and says that the time has come and it’s here for Tommy Dreamer. Eddie says he doesn’t care about the stipulation because he knows what’s going to happen. He says there is going to be pain, vviolence, and so much blood. Eddie says he is going to make Dreamer bleed and lay in a puddle of his own blood. He says he is going to kneel down and toutch his bloody face and then feel and taste his blood. He goes on to say that Dreame will look at him and realize that he is the TRUE innovator of violence.

He then ends by saying that he is going to be Dreamer’s never ending nightmare.

Winner: No Contest 

We get a continuation of Su Yung haunting and terrorizing Madison Rayne. She wakes up in a funeral home and apparently the funeral is of her. She opens the casket to find her body in it.

She then wakes up from that nightmare and the funeral director ask her if their is something wrong. She goes back to look at him and he is wear Su Yung’s face paint and says her time has come. Madison then runs out in the hall and finds a little girl. The girl ask her if she knows where her mommy is and Madison tells her no. Madison looks up again and the girl is wearing face paint and tells her that her time has come. Madison then wakes up again but this time outside and is dosed in blood. Su Yung and her undead brides appear behind her and Su tells her that her time has come.

Back from break and we get a video package of how we got to Pentagon Jr vs Sami Callihan(Mask vs Hair) at Slammiversary

Greg Osborne vs Sami Callihan w/oVe:

Greg Osborne makes his way to the ring for the match.

Sami Callihan and oVe make their way to the ring for the match. Sami is wearing a Zero Fear hat and carrying one of Pentagon’s mask to the ring. Before the match starts he kisses the mask. The bell rings and Sami hits a big kick to Greg in the corner then follows up with another big kick. Sami then tells oVe to hand him the mask. Sami grabs it and turns around to get met with a flurry of punches from Greg. Sami then digs in Greg’s eyes and hits him with a piledriver. Sami then puts the mask on Greg. Sami would then grab a mic chant Pentagon then shootkick Osborne in the head. He then accepts the match again thinking Osborne is Pentagon. He kicks Osborne again and then says he’s had enough fun and says he’s gonna kill him. Sami would then hit the Get Outta Here knee for the pinfall victory.

Winner: Sami Callihan via pinfall 

After the match Jake Crist would superkick Greg Osborne and toss him out of the ring. Sami then hypes his match for Slammiversary. We then hear from Pentagon who talks about the match and calling Impact his house. oVe goes to find Pentagon.

Allie responses to what Tessa had to say about her last week. Allie says Tessa has learned nothing from her dad and grandpa. Kiera Hogan shows up and is happy about their upcoming tag match as they leave to get ready for the match.

We then see Moose who says that he is here and ready for Austin Aries.

Back from break we see a video package about how we got to Allie vs Tessa Blanchard at Slammiversary this Sunday.

Shotzi Blackheart & Tessa Blanchard vs Allie & Keira Hogan:

Shotzi Blackheart makes here way to the ring for the match. Tessa Blanchard makes her way to the ring for the match.

Allie and Keira Hogan makes their way to the ring for the tag match. Keira and Tessa start off the match. Keria tries to calm down Allie before she starts the match. Tessa pushes Hogan in the corner but backs off her. Tessa runs at hsr again but Keira counters and pushes Tessa up against the ropes. Keira then rolls up Tessa for a nearfall. Hogan then takes down Tessa again which leads to Tessa tagging in Shotzi. Keira still control sends Shotzi to the floor then hits a suicide dive.

Hogan tosses her back in the ring then tags in Allie. Allie then hits a running low forearm for a nearfall. Allie then backs Shotzi intobher corner and Keira tags back in. Hogan stays in conteol of Blackheart but gets tossed into the corner. Blackheart tosses her over the ropes onto the apron. Hogan gets caught with a superkick from Tessa. Keira is able to recover and tag in Allie. Allie stays on the attack on Shotzi and goes for the cover but Tessa breaks it up. Tessa and Allie get in each other’s faces and Tessa backs up into Keira. Allie then hits the best superkick ever on Tessa. Shotzi then tries to capitalize on the distraction but Allie fights back both knockouts are down and Shotzi tries to tag in Tessa who hops off the apron and leaves her high and dry.

Allie then hits the codebreaker for the win.

Winners: Allie and Keira Hogan via pinfall 

We see oVe looking for Pentagon Jr as we go to break.

Back from break and we see another vignette about this new Knockout coming to IMPACT.

Her name is Scarlett Bordeaux and she will make her IMPACT debut next week.

Johnny Impact hypes up his international fatal four way match for Slammiversary.

We see a video packag about how we got to Matt Sydal vs Brain Cage for the X-Division Championship at Slammiversary.

Back from break we see a video package showcasing the main event for Slammiversary.

Dave and Jake Crist are scared and on high alert as they have lost Sami Callihan. They eventually find him tied to a chair wearing a mask. They try to untie him but get jumped by Pentagon who takes them out then turn his attention to Sami and says Cero Miedo.

Austin Aries and Moose Confrontation:

Moose makes his way to the ring. He grabs a mic and says that he has been aaay to prepare for Slammiversary. Moose says that the mind games aren’t working on him and that he must have been eating too many Bananas. He then calls him out and tells him to bring a Banana so he can beat him with it then shove it his rear. He tries to go to the back tk find but Aries appears on the titantron. Aries says he’s playing chess while Moose is playing checkers. Aries says he got to him by going through his friend DeAngelo Williams. The Austin Aries on the titantron aas apparently a video because he sneaks up frkm behind and hits Moose with a lowblow and hits him with a steel chair. Aries then holds up his title to celebrate but Moose gets back up and tosses Aries into the corner. Moose then grabs the chair and tries to hit him with it but misses. Aries then grabs his title and escpaes the ring. Moose stands tall in the ring.

We then see a show closing video package showcasingand highlighting every match for Slammiversary this Sunday.

 

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Coverage

Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 3.27.2025

Bad news out of the TNA management side, but this is a taped episode from El Paso! So we won’t see any of the fallout just yet!

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Now we all heard the news about the TNA change in hierarchy, and I…have no positive outlook on that. Delirious sucked at booking and creative in the dying days of ROH before it got bought as a B show. Dreamer having even more control is concerning because his ideas the last two years haven’t been much better.

Gail leaving makes more sense to me. Be it firing or a “you can’t quit, you’re fired” kind of situation, the Knockouts division is the worst it’s been in a long time and Gail was close with Scott D’Amore. So I don’t think Gail parting ways is as big of a problem since TNA has slowly been bleeding out with the Scott faithful.

Granted, I think the next few shows were already taped before the firing so things shouldn’t be completely unwatchable for at least a week or two. So let’s see where we’re going.

Ratings:

  • Gigi Dolin & Tatum Paxley vs Elegance Clique w/Personal Concierge: Ash wins via Rarefied Air – ** 1/4
  • Fir$t Cla$$ & Frankie Kazarian vs Laredo Kid, Octagon Jr & Chavo Guerrero Jr: Chavo wins via Gory Bomb into Frog Splash – *** 1/4
  • Jacy Jayne vs Masha Slamovich: Masha wins via Russian Death Device – ***
  • Eric Young w/two losers vs Ace Austin: Eric wins via Piledriver – ** 1/2
  • Seto & Mokuba – I mean – Nic Nemeth w/Ryan Nemeth vs Leon Slater: Nic wins via Danger Zone – *** 1/4

 

Results:

Gigi Dolin & Tatum Paxley vs Elegance Clique w/Personal Concierge

Ash and Gigi start off, Gigi with a little Rascalz after her first takedown. So both her and Wentz are making it obvious something’s going on between them, and I’m not mad at it. Good for my man Wentz.

Tatum and Gigi get some quick tandem offense in, Ash does manage to scurry off to a tag and Heather gets bent into a Pretzel. Some kind of Inverted Tarantula from Tatum, Gigi tags in, Bronco Buster on Heather followed by Kawada Kicks. Heather sells against the ropes, Gigi goes for a Hesitation Dropkick, but Concierge pulls her away so Gigi crashes and burns. Ref is distracted, Ash gets in some cheap shots and then the Elegant duo starts working over Gigi. A few quick tags, but once Heather comes in, Gigi fights out of the corner, gets the hot tag to Tatum. Tatum stacks up both Elegance members, Corner Stacked Crossbody, Butterfly Suplex and an Elbow Drop with some some flare. Tatum goes to the top rope, Heather pulls Gigi off the apron, Concierge shoves Tatum off the turnbuckle and Ash hits Rarefied Air for the win.

Post match the Elegance Clique wants to make their wish with the cake, they light the candles and Tatum and Gigi recover enough to do what we all expected last week, the cake in the face spot. Some…suggestive licking from both of our Hot Topic Hotties, so…no complaints here. 

Fir$t Cla$$ & Frankie Kazarian vs Laredo Kid, Octagon Jr & Chavo Guerrero Jr

Chavo and Kaz start since he’s King Petty, a quick rope run turns into a Headscissor from Chavo. Kaz recovers, they lock up, Kaz hits the Knee Lift during the lock up to tag out to KC. KC pulls off some athletic dodges, gloats a bit so Chavo waits, measures and nails a gorgeous Dropkick. Laredo comes in on fire, quick high spots that send KC bouncing around like HBK against Hulk. KC powders after sells the Satellite Takedown, AJ checks on him and we go to commercial.

Back from commercial, Octagon is lighting up KC’s chest with overhand chops, he perches, Sunset Headscissor Flip from corner to corner, KC tries to Back Drop him but Octagon does a headstand, kicks KC away and lays him out with a high spot. AJ gets on the apron to stop Octagon from running the ropes, the referee has a stroke or something because he stops paying attention and AJ pulls Octagon out of the ring and chucks him. KC with the Tope con Hilo and tag (tag ropes haven’t mattered since the 80s we all know this). So AJ is getting taunted by the crowd in Spanish, but he’s manhandling Octagon since it looks like a Child fighting their parent. AJ knocks off Chavo and Laredo, Laredo pops up and tries to get involved but he’s caught on the shoulders, Octagon goes for the Crossbody but gets caught and AJ pulls off “World’s Strongest Wasteland” but Chavo breaks up the pinfall. AJ throws Octagon into the corner, Tennessee Whiskey, and tag out to KC. KC hits a few moves, but starts to lose the momentum until he connects with a Super Kick. Simultaneous rope run into the Dueling Crossbodies, so we get the timely tag outs from both sides. Kaz and Laredo come in, Laredo lands like two moves before Kaz hits a Sole Butt, Lariat and eats his lunch. KC and Kaz try to double team Laredo but he fights out and the crowd is chanting for Chavo.

Chavo tags in, and he’s rocking KC, Saito Suplex, Low Bridge to AJ, Reverse the Whip so Chavo goes to the corner and perches, KC feeds, Chavo Backflips to safety, rolls through and lays out KC. Chavo is feeling himself, 3 Amigos start on KC but only 2, Kaz comes in and Chavo switches to Kaz for the Amigos, only 2 again before AJ breaks it up. AJ goes for the disrespect, but Chavo counters and hits the 3 Amigos on the biggest Culero. Aztec Warriors dive to stop AJ and Kaz, KC tries a Dirty Victory Roll but Chavo kicks out. GORY BOMB into FROG SPLASH!

Chavo looked fantastic and he’s the one in the best shape in the ring. I wouldn’t be mad at more Chavito. 

Jacy Jayne vs Masha Slamovich

I expect very little from this match.

Collar and Elbow, gator rolling for the first 30 seconds or so, then Jacy goes to some Hair Pull takedowns and does a little taunt before Masha pops back up and hits a Lariat into a Dive. Jacy sells it like she’s really hurt, even the ref tries to hold Masha back a little before Masha gets annoyed and just grabs her, Masha throws her in, looks for a Dive and Jacy sees it and powders. Masha tries to go back to the well for the Dive again but Jacy hits the Uppercut and then an Apron Run PK to drop Masha. Forearms rain down into a Foot Choke as Jacy continues to arrogantly play to the crowd. Another Foot Choke into a Cannonball, and near fall.

Masha gets space with a Sole Butt, tries to snap off Requiem but Jacy fights off, fights through a Sunset Flip another effective PK keeps Masha on her ass. Jacy looks for a kinda half-assed Camel Clutch as Masha is fighting up, but Jacy runs her into the corner, gets distracted mouthing off to the crowd, so Masha recovers, 5 Hole Up Kick sends Jacy into the corner, Yakuza Kick into Capo Kick for two. Requiem attempt again, but Jacy pushes off, a little back and forth, Masha tries a Backslide but Jacy gets away and hits a V-Trigger but only a 2 count. Jacy looks for the Discus Punch but Masha ducks it, they strike back and forth, but some dodges from both leave the exchange more even. Jacy with the Front Kick to the face sends Masha to the outside. Jacy wants another PK, but Masha blocks, Electric Chair Apron Snake Eyes. Masha throws her in, a PK into a near all. Requiem attempt 3, and thwarted from Jacy with a Superkick into a Neckbreaker. Senton misses from Jacy, Buzzsaw Kick, into Spinning Back Kick and Russian Death Device for the win.

Better than I expected, and Tessa attacks as soon as the bell rings. Xia Brookside and Lei Ying Li make the save after Tessa grabs the belt. 

Eric Young w/two losers vs Ace Austin

Ace and Eric tie up, World of Sport start but as soon as Ace starts to get away EY punches him in the face. Eric looks at the camera and says “This is what trust looks like”, turns his back on Ace, when Ace looks to attack, the loser duo cut him off. EY takes advantage of the weird situation, but Ace with some Up and Over quick spots, into an Inside Cradle and La Magistral. EY kicks out of the quick flash attempts, but eats a Dropkick, and Ace goes all Speed Kils on him with fast strikes and then a face buster for another near fall. Strike spot very early in the match, Ace gets the best of it, goes for a Tear Drop Suplex but EY sits on it to block, Headlocks to keep him close and then a snap Lariat into beatdown bully tactics. EY takes the referee’s attention and one of the nerds punch Ace in the face.

Eric tries to lean on Ace, but Ace fires, a few strikes, Click Click Boom, the Miz Seated Lariats in the corner, Mochizuki Triangle Kick connects! Only a 2 count, but Ace seems to be in control. Ace puts EY on the ropes, a few strikes to keep him rocked, wants a Superplex, but EY blocks, bites the face and Macho Elbow gets a very close two count. EY tries the Piledriver but Ace turns it into a Jacknife Cradle,Spinning Heel Kick, calls for The Fold, but the losers hop on the apron to distract, Ace attacks them. Ace tries to time out the Triangle Kick again, but Eric dodges, throws Ace head first through the buckles. As Ace stumbles out of the corner, Piledriver, and it’s over.

Oh look it’s the “we’ll hear from Joe Hendry” segment. Again, I’ve loved this gimmick since Day 1, even didn’t hate his What Culture Pro stuff, but there is such a thing as milking a cow too much. 

Elijah interrupts the whole “Who’s next” speech. When Elijah comes out he says he’s not the challenger and he believes in Joe. The crowd wants Elijah to turn on Hendry. Elijah pauses for a moment, and starts proving his friendship with stating his favorite color and a little “You Got a Friend in Me”. The crowd is into singing along and waving their cameras like Lighters to a 30 year old song. THANKFULLY Kaz breaks up the hug fest. Now he gets the “Culero” chant. 

Kaz pulls out a Bass…what the hell is this Jam Session. Kaz has to warm up so he plays “La Cucaracha” on the bass. Kaz…is a national treasure. Hendry kicks Kaz out of the ring after his Heelish and playfully racially charged song choices. Kaz tries to sow dissension, but Joe and Elijah pinball Kaz between them. Kaz slips a power move and tries to shove Elijah into Joe but Elijah puts the brakes on, a small tense moment. But then Joe and Elijah play “Nah Nah Nah Nah, Hey Hey, Goodbye”…and that goes right into a commercial. Oddly…perfect.

Nic Nemeth w/Ryan Nemeth vs Leon Slater

Nic shoots the half immediately for a flash pinfall but Leon kicks out at one. Nic continues to keep things grounded with his amateur wrestling skills, and then does a little Dolph Ziggler show off. So Nic isn’t really taking this seriously, and Leon starts getting the best of things with an Arm Wringer, into drag, Shoulder Tackle and rope run as Nic tries to Leap Frog and Leon puts on the brakes and just shoves Nic on his ass. Nic gets annoyed, a few strikes, grinds his face along the ropes, but Leon keeps stringing some offense together, Back Handspring Elbow into his Corner con Hilo.

Ahh the classic formula of the commercial gives the heel the advantage, Twisting Suplex from Leon stops Nic’s offense momentum, right hand, Leon lifts Nic up for something, Nic slips it, kicks him in the gut, looks for the FameAsser, but Leon catches him into a Blue Thunder Bomb variation. Slater wants the Swanton 450, but Nic powders. Leon tries to adjust into a Dive, but Nic cuts him off, counter for counter and a FameAsser out of the counters for a two count. Nic starts the big brother tactics, bootwashes and arrogance, Slater fires, punches into a Yakuza Kick. Leon wants another Lethal Injection variant, but Nic catches him into a Rear Naked Choke. Slater tries to turn it into a pin so Nic breaks it. Leon wants a Leg Lariat but misses and gets unceremoniously dropped by Nic. Nic puts Leon up on the buckles, Superplex possibly but Slater counters, tries to collect himself for a move, but Nic falls into the ropes to crotch Leon, and finally hits the Superplex.

Twist of Slate from Leon, Swanton 450 but knees get up. Locomotion Cradles from both but they kick out, Ryan picks the ankle to trip up Leon just a touch and then Danger Zone ends the match.

Ryan starts the post match beatdown, but the Hardy’s music hits and they come down to the ring for the save. Matt challenges the Nemeths for Rebellion because they’re not medically cleared yet.

 

Overall Score: 6.5/10

Decent story motion, no match was offensive, and there was actually some solid match action for television standards. I don’t have a ton to complain about aside from the Knockouts Division is in a weird spot, and giving Hendry a lot of just talking and hollow payoff segments feels stupid. If we need to hear from him every week, give him a talk segment like Highlight Reel or something. Yes I know First Class just got The Penthouse, but if Hendry is going to talk more than wrestle, give him a talk segment for us to sink our teeth into.

There was the announcement that Xia, Lei Ying and Masha will face Tessa, Jacy and a mystery partner. So you gotta wonder if there’s going to be another NXT mercenary, a surprise return or if it’ll just be Rosemary since she’s got her issues with Xia. Also I just realized that Unbreakable is going to be on a Thursday, seemingly after iMPACT? I’m gonna have to see how they do it, because if there’s an Impact episode and 2-3 hour PLE…I do not want to be awake until 1am. People need to work, and I will be Unwakeable if things go that long.

About Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

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CHAIRSHOT RADIO NETWORK PODCAST SPECIALS

Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)

TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends

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Coverage

Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 3.20.2025

Coming off a Sacrifice with a few moving pieces and mixed reception we get to see how iMPACT follows it up!

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We’re coming off Sacrifice with a couple really good matches (Tessa vs Lei & Mustafa vs Santana), some solid story implications with Nic Nemeth’s heel turn, Elegance Clique winning the Knockouts tags and having Meta-Four members show up to make a claim, and Mustafa adding really great heat at the end of his match with beer spot.

So while not everything was great wrestling, things were pretty logical. Now let’s see what we get moving forward.

Ratings:

  • Northern Armoury w/Eric Young vs The Rascalz: Rascalz win via Feed Em to the Lions – ** 1/4
  • Mustafa Ali vs Mike Santana: Santana wins via Count Out – ***
  • Rosemary & Savannah Evans vs Xia Brookside & Lei Ying Lee: Lei wins via Thunderstruck – **
  • The System w/Lish vs Guitar Guys (Elijah & Joe Hendry): Hendry wins via Standing Ovation – ** 3/4

 

Results:

Oh God, Masha comes out to talk. She has literally zero aura speaking English. Yes she needs to cut promos to get better, but hot damn is she a charisma vacuum. Thankfully Tessa cuts her off and gets a resoundingly negative crowd reaction but she looks like a complete snack in the casual black and glitter covered outfit. Tessa makes her claim, but it’s just a distraction and Jacy Jayne blindsides Masha. I do like this concept of using Tessa’s legit heat to steer into her being a heel gateway for NXT female wrestlers to attack. 

Santino comes out, scolds Jacy a little and says next week is Masha vs Jacy. He then runs down Tessa and bans her from ringside next week during their match. 

Northern Armoury w/Eric Young vs The Rascalz

We know I don’t find the Armoury jabronis interesting, so I refuse to learn their names as they’ll never amount to anything. 

Wentz and Trey get early tandem offense against Jabroni with hair, a few quick tags, PK kicks, Dropkicks, the loser children need to take short cuts and distract the referee poorly just to get an advantage. Very basic tandem offense from Jabronis with Arm Wringers into stomps and a near fall that means nothing. Bald dork has Wentz in a Rear Naked, but Wentz breaks out of it and pulls off the Back Handspring Knee Lift so he finally tags out, Trey comes in hot, Missile Dropkick kills bald, hair gets knocked off the apron, Rascalz go for a tandem spot but more cornball heel distraction tactics, it back fires on the loser squad, Rascalz with some locomotion corner offense. Mayu Launcher into a Spinebuster from Trey, Feed Em to the Lions and the Rascalz win with ease.

Post-Match, Armoury and EY surround Rascalz, but Ace runs down with a chair to make the save. 

Fir$t Cla$$ Penthouse, KC and AJ playing with the crowd who hates them. AJ calls the crowd “muy pobre”and Chavo walks out to a huge pop, then Frankie Kazarian even pops out. Oh Frankie is still bitter about 2012 when him and Daniels lost the tag titles to Chavo and Hernandez. Turns into a Trios Match next week, Chavo, Octagon & Laredo vs Kaz & First Class. 

Mustafa Ali vs Mike Santana

Santana charges immediately, Ali slides out but Santana dives after him and connects! The bell hasn’t even rung yet and Santana is sending Ali spilling over tables and equipment. Santana keeps beating his ass, asks the crowd “Should I kill this puto?” gets a big pop, Ali tries to slip the Brainbuster but Santana stays one step ahead. Santana thinks he’s the Rock and tells Ali his soul belongs to him, and Ali tries to run away into the ring, Santana catches him, the bell finally rings, and Ali manages a Frankensteiner for space, Santana powders and Ali connects with a Dropkick on the bad arm. Ali continues his first bits of offense just wrapping the bad arm against the ring post, throws Santana back in, Outside In Rolling Neckbreaker and then a Key Lock on the bad arm. Ali is slowly things down masterfully since he did eat a fast beating for the first few minutes.

The crowd fires Santana, he manages to Arm Drag out, connects with a Round Kick, looks for the Rolling Neckbreaker again but Santana catches him on his shoulders, Spicolli Driver. A few move counters from both, Ali tries a Victory Roll but Santana holds on and turns it into the Rolling Buck Fifty for a two count! Santana goes to the top rope for the Frog Splash, Ali powders, walks to commentary says he already won and he’s the addiction that Santana will never beat, and walks out into the crowd and allows himself to be counted out.

Clever wrinkle to set up a rubber match.

RYAN NEMETH TIME! OUR LITTLE BROTHER! Nic lost his voice or smoked a pack of Marlboro Reds before the show. A pretty stock standard heel promo claiming that the Nemeths were the reason for the TNA buzz a year ago and the Hardys show up late to take all the credit. Leon Slater also has zero aura and no speaking ability, but referring to Ryan as Nic’s “Bug Eyed Brother” was a little funny. Nic versus Leon is hinted at for next week but a brawl starts anyway and Nic Superkicks Leon after Leon takes out Ryan. 

Rosemary & Savannah Evans vs Xia Brookside & Lei Ying Lee

Xia calls out Savannah to start the match, a few overhand chops gives her some steam early, but she tries to charge, eats a Back Elbow, Savannah tags in Rosemary, and Rosemary barks at her to get some aggression out. Headscissors, into Broken Wings into a Snap DDT for two. Xia tags in Lei, Rosemary decides to tag out immediately, so Lei is trying to chip down the tree, but she catches a Round Kick and lands a Sitout Chokebomb for a near fall. Savannah puts her on the shoulders, Lei fights it off, but gets caught in the Samoan Drop anyway for another near fall. Savannah tags out in the heel corner but chokes Lei a little to get the referee’s attention so Rosemary puts her in the Upside Down, and then continues to isolate Lei. Splash in the corner into an Exploder Suplex for yet another two. A few Vader Hammers into a Sleeper Hold from Rosemary. The crowd tries to ramp up Lei, but Rosemary cuts off the comeback attempt, looks for a Heel Hook, but Lei kicks her off, gets stopped but eats an Enzuigiri.

Simultaneous tag and Xia is taking it to Savannah. Xia and Lei have some nice Tandem strikes, only two. Savannah grabs Xia, Rosemary tries to mist Xia, but Xia ducks and the mist hits Savannah. Lei knocks out Rosemary, attempts the TKO on Savannah but doesn’t get all of it, and apparently the Thunderstruck has been changed to a Spinning Heel Kick…and I hate it. Okay match with a bad finish.

ASH and Heather come out for their celebration with cake, nice dresses and bootleg Chippendales. But Meta-Four interrupts, thankfully. Jakara Snackson in the house! Spitfire also comes out, and I’m never mad at Dani. OH, Gigi Dolin and Tatum Paxley also. Business picked up…or something went up…yeah…this is good entertainment. And there was something for everyone with the Chippendales early and then 4 women’s teams. 

The System w/Lish vs Guitar Guys (Elijah & Joe Hendry)

Well at least they didn’t bring up Hendry 32 times during the show and still end on him. I’ve loved the gimmick since Day 1, but overdoing it is bad for anyone.

Myers and Hendry start, Myers tries to mouth off but Hendry pops him with a Slap, Scoop Slam, Arm Wringer, tags out to Elijah and Myers scatters to tag out. Elijah with a few Lariats and the Rope Walk with Elijah. Hendry and Elijah clear the ring as we go to commercial. When we get back I’m gonna guess the System will have magically won back the momentum through heel commercial tactics.

Holy wow! Hendry has Eddie in the Stalling Suplex and lands it! Somehow the heels weren’t winning, but Eddie does kick out at one. So Hendry tags out, Elijah a few Arm Wringers into a Double Duck Jumping Lariat. But now Lish mouths off and Eddie connects on a Sliding Dropkick. So they delayed the heel team taking over for right out of the break. Look at that, changing it up. Eddie throws Elijah into the steps, rolls him in, tags out and Myers goes for the Sleeper Hold slow down heel thing, then hits a Dropkick into choking him with his boot. Eddie tags in, choke on the ropes, Lish gets involved in the choke too, and System is staying in control. Quick tags galore have Elijah gasping for air and Hendry is getting frustrated.

Elijah finally manages something to tag out, Hendry hits the Sack of Shit Kip Up on Eddie, Myers tries a Crossbody but he’s caught into Sack of Shit and Kip Up, the turn around and now calling for the Standing Ovation. But Eddie takes out Elijah, Rolling Forearm from Eddie into a Spear from Myers for a near fall. Myers looks for Roster Cut, but Elijah picks the ankle, Hendry fights off Myers, but Eddie catches him. They want System Overload, but Hendry gets out of the Backpack Stunner, catches Myers with the goozle and Elijah keeps Eddie out of the picture. Standing Ovation and we’re done!

 

Overall Score: 5.5/10

Full transparency, this was an easy watch. It didn’t feel like two hours, but it also didn’t really accomplish much. A very empty calories show with a bunch of set up for next week. I will say I totally loved the Ali and Santana match and finish. Ali forcing an unsatisfying finish can’t have Santana feeling good about the “win”, and I love how he’s saying he’s the one addiction that Santana can’t beat. So if Ali gets re-routed to a different feud or two and Santana starts acting like an addict going through withdrawal and NEEDS a rubber match at Slammiversary, I think that would be great to acknowledge Ali’s intelligence, plays in the addiction thing without being overly insulting since it’s focusing on a metaphorical addiction and not making light of something more realistic.

So regardless, a very inoffensive show. Jacy Jayne, Meta-Four and Gigi Dolin & Tatum Paxley showing up makes the Knockouts Tag feel less pathetic. And of course, Chavo was fine, the Dom mention was hilarious and Kaz being so petty he still hates Chavo because of 2012 is a level of petty I wish I still had in me.

Tolerable show, but nothing really worth the two hours.

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