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Ja’Von’s IMPACT Wrestling Live Report (8/2/18) | The Chairshot
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Impact Coverage

Ja’Von’s IMPACT Wrestling Live Report (8/2/18)

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Official Results:

Allie & Keira Hogan vs Su Yung & Undead Maid of Honor: Allie & Keira Hogan via pinfall 

The OGz vs Local Talent: The OGz via pinfall 

The Desi Hit Squad vs KM & Fallah Bahh: The Desi Hit Squad via pinfall 

Austin Aries vs Dustin Cameron( IMPACT World Championship): Austin Aries via match stoppage 

Grado & Joe Hendry vs Eli Drake & Trevor Lee: Eli Drake & Trevor Lee via pinfall 

Lucha Brothers vs oVe: The Lucha Brothers via pinfall 

Play by Play:

Cold Opening: 

IMPACT opens with a recap of what went down last week featuring Austin Aries’ open challenge, Johnny IMPACT returning and calling out Jimmy Jacobs and Kongo Kong, and Brian Cage retaining his NEW X-Division Championship against Matt Sydal.

Allie & Keira Hogan vs Su Yung & Undead Maid of Honor:

This Knockouts tag team match kicks us off tonight. IMPACT Knockouts Champion Su Yung and the Undead Maid of Honor makes their way to the ring along with the other undead bridesmaids.

Keira Hogan comes out to the ramp to sait for her tag partner. Allie meets Keira Hogan on the ramp and they make thier way to the ring for the match.

Both Allie and Keira fight their way through the undead bridesmaids to get in the ring. Allie and Keira clear the ring of Su and Undead maid of Honor. Keira then hits a suicide dive on Su and the bridesmaids.

Allie then goes to the top and takes out the bridesmaids as well. Allie then brings Su back in the ring and takes down Yung with a couple of forearms. Hogan os back in the ring but comes face to face with the maid of honor. The maid of honor goes on the attack and hots multiple shoulderblocks in the corner then hitting her face on the turnbuckles followed by taking her down and gets a nearfall. Su and the maid of honor have cut off the ring and the maid of honor tags in Su. Yung stays on the attack keeping momentum and tags in the maid of honor. Hogan then fights back and gets an opening to tag in Allie but the maid of honor cuts her off and drags her back to her corner. Keira still fights and is able to get free and tags in Allie. Allie is fired up and takes down the maid of honor. Su tags in but meets Allie in the middle of the ring. Alloe gets the upperhand and hits the b es st superkick ever and falls into a pin for a nearfall. Allie looks to go for the codebreaker but gets hit from behind by the maid of honor. Keira Hogan comes in and takes out the maid of honor which allows for Su to recover and hit the paincswitch on her. Allie then finally hits the codebreaker for the win.

Winners: Allie & Keira Hogan via pinfall

After the match Tessa Blanchard hits the ringand takes out Allie with the hammerlock DDT.

Back from brsak Tessa says that she sees right through Allie. She continues to say that Allie is thinking that she is doing the right thing to get a shot at the Knockouts Championship. Tessa says there is no way Allie is getting a shot at the Knockouts Championship before her.

The OGz vs Local talent:

The OGz make their way to the ring with King and they are carrying the world tag team titles that they tagged with their moniker at Slammiversary.

The bell rings and Hernandez immediately takes out one of the guys. Homicide picks one guy up while Hernandez has the other guy up for a border toss. Homicide hands the other guy to Hernandez who drops them both. Homicide then hits a backpack piledriver for the win.

Winners: The OGz via pinfall

After the match King has a mic and says that he t ol ld us so. He says they took out Konan and LAX and took the tag titles and made them their own. He then ask where they are and fuels the crowd chanting for LAX. He then says that they are the king of the streets. LAX’s music plays and they run to the ring and jump The OGz with Konan calling the shots. Santana takes out King and Hernandez with tope con hilo.

Ortiz brings Homicide back in the ring and has an axe.

Security comes down to stop him but they get taken out.  Homicide then grabs the ring bell and there is a stalemate as LAX go back up the ramp as we go to break.

Back from break LAX are made at Konan for holding them back. Konan says they are running into rheir trap by coming to them with rage and anger. He says they have to wait for their moment to get revenge and their titles back.

IMPACT announces the dream match between The Young Bucks and LAX on the Chris Jericho Cruise.

oVe Cam:

Sami says that everyone online is saying that Sami is looking like an idiot. But oVe doesn’t care and say that they are going to take out the Lucha Brothers because now this is personal between them.

The Desi Hit Squad vs KM & Fallah Bahh:

Gama Singh introduces The Desi Hit Squad as they make their way to the ring.

KM & Fallah Bahh make their way to the ring for the match. The bell rings and here we go. Fallah Bahh and Gursinder start the match. Rohit comes in the ring and hits Fallah from behind they get the upperhand and try to hit an irish whip on him and Bahh stops them both and sends Gursinder to the corner while Rhoit is sent to the floor. Fallah hits a running splash on Gursinder then hits a back body drop. KM tells Fallah to pull his hair and Fallah does sending Gursinder to the mat. KM tags in and hits a scoop body slam and then tags in Fallah. Fallah signals for a rool but gets hit with a chopblock followed by The Desi Hit Squad hitting tag team maneuvers on Fallah. Gursinder goes for the cover but KM breaks up the pin. Rohit tags in after Gursinder brings Fallah into their corner. Rohit stays on the atrack until Fallah hits a big samoan drop on him. Both guys tag out and KM stays on the attack fighting off both memebers of the Desi Hit Squad. KM stacks them up in the corner and hits a huge splash. KM and Fallah then roll on both of them which sends both of the desi hit squad to separate corners. KM then tells Fallah to poke his eye out just like he does and shows him how to do it. KM then stops Fallah and tries to show him but the desi hit squad fight back for a little bit but KM fights back and teues to hit a slingshot ddt but comes up empty and we a little but of miscommunication the desi hot squad take the advantage and get the pinfall victory.

Winners: The Desi Hit Squad via pinfall 

Anthony Carelli is backstage hyping up Dustin Cameron for his world title match agaisnt Austin Aries. We then see Aries who says that he beat a world class athlete in Eli Drake to win the world title and doesn’t need to prepare for Dustin Cameron.

Back from break we see Johnny IMPACT neing interviewed backstage. Johnny says he wrestles to be the best in the industry and says that all Kongo Kong wants to do is hurt people. Jimmy Jacobs shows up and tells Johnny if he wants to find Kongo then he should take his glasses off and that he is just trying to be a nice guy. Johhny then attacks him and tells him to bring him the monster.

Austin Aries vs Dustin Cameron( IMPACT World Championship):

Dustin Cameron accompanied by Anthony Carelli makes his way to the ring. Austin Aries makes his way to the ring for his title defense in street clothes.

When Aries hands the title to the referee he is pretending to look nervous about losing it. The bell rings and here we go. Aries shakes Dustin’s hand and then takes him dosn with a german suplex and floats over him then paintbrushes him and slaps his back. Collar and elbow tie up Aries gets the advantage with a sideheadlock and picks up the speed by going back and forth. Aries is distracted by jawjacking with Anthony Carelli and gets caught by Dustin who takes him down and goes for the pin for not even a one count. Aries then looks to end the match by hitting a brainbuster and goes for the pin but stops the pin by picking him off the mat. Aries looks to go for a second brainbuster but Carelli throws in the towel to stop the match.

Winner and STILL IMPACT World Champion Austin Aries via match stoppage

Aries then locks inthe last chancery until Anthony Carelli comes in the ring to break it up. Carelli and Aries meet face to face and Anthony hits a lowblow on Aries which sends him running up the ramp only to find Eddie Edwards kendo stick in hand behind him. Eddie then hits him with the kendo stick and looked to hitba DDT but Aries escapes and runs to the back.

Alicia is interviewed backstage and her interview is interrupted by Eddie Edwards and says they are going to fix things betwen them because next week he becomes world champion. Alicia says she can’t deal with him and walks away.

Scarlett Bordeaux is interviewed at ringside but the interviewer is very nervous to speak. Scarlett ask if he is new and ask what’s his name. She asks Bobo if he wanted to ask her a question. She does the interview herself by asking herself questions about being a 10 in a world with threes and fours. She then reminds the crowd that she will not be hot shamed.

Grado, Katerina, and Joe Hendry are mad about Eli’s gift last week because he was cropped out of it. He then challenges him to a tag team match and declares his team winners cause Eli has no friends. Eli then grabss the Cult of Lee and says he has a partner.

Grado & Joe Hendry vs Eli Drake & Trevor Lee:

Grado and Joe Hendry accompanied by Katerina make their way to the ring for the match.

Eli Drake and The Cult of Lee make their way to the ring for the match. The Cult of Lee immediately attack Joe and Grado sending Joe to the floor. Grado is left alone in the ring while Katerina checks on Joe. Eli stays on the attack of Grado sending him into the corner with multiple shoulderblocks and a clothesline. Grado tries to fight back with puches and chops. Both guys go down and they try to tag out but Caleb pulls Joe off the apron which allows for Eli to hit the Gravey Train for the win.

Winners: Eli Drake & Trevor Lee via pinfall 

Lucha Brothers vs oVe:

oVe makes their way to the ring for the match. Lucha Brothers makes their way to the ring for the match.

Fenix jumps off of Pentagon to take out oVe. The lucha brothers slide to the outside then come back in and go under the arms of oVe then back out of the ring again. oVe then hit double suicide dives on the lucha brothers. Jake Christ and Fenix go at it while Dave Christ is attacking Pentagon. Dave and Pentagon come near the announce td able which scare the announcers. Dave then hit Pentagon with a straight right. Jake tries to bring Fenix the ring and sends him face first intonthe post. The lucha brothers fight back and gain control of the match and take down oVe as we go to break. Back from break and the lucha brothers are in control and hits Dave Christ with a big chop. Fenix comes bsck in the ring and hits Dave eith a big chop of his own. More tandem offense from the lucha brothers as they take out both members of oVe. Fenxi goes up to the top to setup the finisher but Sami Callihan gets involved which allows for oVe to take control. Fenix and Jake are alone in the ring and Jake gets control and locks Fenxi in a submission. Down the stretch oVe hit their finisher on Fenix and go for the pin but only get a nearfall. The lucha brothers fightbackand hit their finisher and go for a pin but only a nearfall. In the end Pentagon hits the fear factor for the win.

Winners: The Lucha Brothers via pinfall 

My Score: 7.5/10

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Coverage

Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 5.29.25

Stuff happens, maybe it doesn’t, Dreamer and Delirious can’t book.

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Well Trick Willie is the new TNA champ and this is the first iMPACT since his win…so let’s just hear him talk about it.

Ratings:

  • The Rascalz vs Fir$t Cla$$ vs Laredo vs The System: Rascalz win via Meteora – ***
  • Raj Singh vs Mustafa Ali: Ali wins via…No Shit – Squash Garbage
  • ASH by Elegance vs Lei Ying Lee: Lei wins via Spinning TKO – ** 3/4
  • Mance Warner w/SDL vs Jobber: Mance wins via Hit the Pay Winda – Squash
  • Santino Marella & Arianna Grace vs Robert Stone & Victoria Crawford w/Tessa: Team Robbie wins via shenanigans – **
  • International Championship: Steve Maclin (c) vs Matt Cardona: Maclin retains via KIA – ***

 

Results:

The Rascalz vs Fir$t Cla$$ vs Laredo vs The System

Octagon got jumped by The System earlier so Laredo is fighting alone. Another backstage jumping is getting a little dumb. 

Laredo and Trey start. Typical Indie start with Simultaneous awful Dropkick spot and bad counters, AJ blind tag runs the smaller guys over, tags out to KC and the Rascalz instantly get the moment. KC is rocked, tags in Laredo and Laredo takes out the System before Lish gets on the apron and grabs Laredo. The referee kicks out Lish and Rehwoldt on commentary points out it’s a No DQ match so that’s dumb.

KC gets tossed at AJ, he catches him, Rascalz Dive and do their taunt as we go to commercial. We come back, Tennessee Whiskey into a KC tag in for the near fall on Laredo. Corner combo, Snapmare into Flip Forward Neck Breaker, KC is on a roll. AJ tags Laredo and starts talking crap to KC, they swerve and go Finger Poke of Doom, but it’s not a legal pin. Suddenly tornado attacks, System and Rascalz go for broke, AJ hits the Senton to break the eventual pin, Laredo counters AJ’s Chokeslam attempt. Trey clears out The System, Wentz sends himself and KC over and out, Laredo with a Corkscrew Moonsault, which looked cool but it’s the pile of morons waiting to get hit spot.

AJ hits the Down Payment on Laredo, but Trey blind tagged AJ. Meteora on AJ, Trey pins Laredo and Rascalz win.

Raj Singh vs Mustafa Ali

Raj looks like shit in the gear he came down in…and he wrestles equivalently. I would rather anyone else comeback…give me Anarquia.

Ali murders Raj, Instant Dropkick, Rolling Neckbreaker, Corkscrew Standing Moonsault, it’s not close. Raj tries to counter things but Ali Bellclap, a little Duck the left, connect the right. Raj even does a terrible looking Punch Combo, he’s in bad shape, a bad looking Ushigoroshi, Raj with a sloppy looking something, 450 ends it.

Fire Raj as quickly as you brought him back. You don’t need a comedically pathetic job guy when the roster is like 4 guys getting pushed and everyone else sucks. Stop being stupid. Ali still hates women too.

This Injury Report is the dumbest segment in the history of wrestling. Stop treating fake shit as “serious business”. 

ASH by Elegance vs Lei Ying Lee

ASH mocks karate stuff, Lei throws a few Rising Crane kicks as ASH bails and then things slow down a little. But a Pump Kick, Sliding Kick and Low Dropkick cause ASH to cower and claim her tooth broke. It’s a bait to pull Lei into the turnbuckles and them get in a few stomps. Ash keeps Lei in the corner, Suplexes her ankles into the buckles and then Ash throws a few Booty Shots/Hit Attacks then starts a grounded stretch, Lei Headscissors her down, still sells the hips and ankles, but dodges and fires, combination strikes into the 10 Count Down Strikes. T-bone Suplex, into the pinfall, for only two.

Cheapshot into Running Meteora from ASH for two. Ash goes for the Miz Yes Kicks and Lei No Sells and asks for more. Gorgeous Capture Suplex into Thunder Struck and TKO with flair. My baby has a better finish now! Yay!

Mance Warner w/SDL vs Jobber

Hannifan cursing and being pissed at Trick for not even showing but is more entertaining than a squash match. Not that Mance’s offense is bad, but 2 out of 3 job matches is stupid.

Santino Marella & Arianna Grace vs Robert Stone & Victoria Crawford w/Tessa

Marella tries to tie up with Robbie, but he bails and tags out to Victoria so Arianna comes in and aside from Alicia Fox’s silliness, the tie up was decent with Arianna and Victoria. Tessa interferes and the Referee throws her out. Victoria comes back in and aside from a slight miscommunication with how Arianna does her punches, Alicia Fox is making her look…pretty good. Transition moves, okay brawling and Arianna looks amazing in her outfit.

Rob and Santino distract the referee and Victoria hits a Figure Four into her Northern Lights Suplex, only for 2. Arianna finally Back Body Drop to find the tag, Santino and Rob, Santino does his split dodge into the Standing Headbutt, Arianna Cross Body onto Victoria. Rob pulls out the ref, then shoves the ref into Santino, Santino into the steps and Arianna attack but Alicia and Lish, the fix is in, Arianna eats the pin.

International Championship: Steve Maclin (c) vs Matt Cardona

A few quick brawl moves, Shoulder Tackles, Strikes, Back Breakers, Cardona does get dumped out and eats a SCUD. Maclin bounces Cardona’s face off the apron and hits an Elbow off the apron to keep Cardona reeling, but a dodged tackle sends Maclin into the steps. Cardona tries to Piledriver Maclin on the ramp, but Back Drop counter, into commercial.

Formulaic commercial etiquette of Cardona still in control, throws Maclin into the ropes, Diving Shoulder Tackle lays both dudes out and they get up by 8. Fighting Spirit spot, Cardona hits ropes and gets hit by Maclin twice, Thesz Press, Ground and Pound, Back Elbow and Olympic Slam has Maclin rolling. Splash into Lariat for two. Maclin has been all gas no brakes. Cardona tries to take a few shortcuts that turns into a Straight Jacket Takedown. Cardona to the top, Maclin cuts him off, Superplex spot. 1-2-kick out!

Maclin goes topside for a Jar Headbutt, Cardona hits the ropes so Maclin crashes into the corner, 2 Reboots connect, the third gets caught, counter into Busaiku Knee, Jar Headbutt. In and out, Cardona uses the middle rope for the Low Blow, Killswitch from Cardona but Maclin kicks out. Cardona dodges and shoves Maclin towards the ref, he puts the brakes on, Radio Silence! 1-2-Kick out! Maclin catches a top rope move, Power Bomb, Corner Splash, Tree of Woe, Caught in the Crosshairs, KIA and Maclin retains!

 

Overall Score: 4.5/10

Boring paint by numbers show, no Trick, System has one move, Robert Stone is a scumbag, too long to introduce new girls, lots of throw away segments and Rosemary sets up YET ANOTHER Monster’s Ball match. These aren’t interesting when there’s one every 3 months. So we can have terrible Monster’s Ball matches quarterly, Barbed Wire Massacre and Clockwork Orange House of Fun…BUT NO LOCKDOWN!?

Go home TNA, you’re drunk.

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Coverage

Andrew’s TNA Under Siege Results & Match Ratings: 5.23.25

Let’s see if this proves to be better than the awful build.

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Well let’s hope the matches are interesting or something because this card is such a useless pile of nothing matches. Xia Brookside vs Rosemary went the expected way with Brookside snapping to beat the hell out of Rosemary and get DQ’d. So Xia Darkside is on the horizon and Santino had a good promo with Robert Stone.

I look forward to a prostate exam more than this show…something please don’t suck.

Ratings:

  • Mike Santana vs KC Navarro w/AJ Francis: Santana wins via Spin the Block – *** 1/2
  • Eddie Edwards w/Lish vs Cody Deaner: Eddie wins via Boston Knee Party – **
  • Northern Armoury w/Hammer the Honey Badgers vs Dango, Moose and Brian Myers w/Lish: Armoury wins via Piledriver – ** 3/4
  • Match by Elegance: TNA Knockouts Tag Titles: Spitfire vs Elegance Clique (c): Elegance retains via Rarefied Air – **
  • Order 4 vs The Rascalz, Indi Hartwell & Raj Singh: Ali wins via 450 – ***
  • Arianna Grace vs Tessa Blanchard: Tessa wins via Magnum – *
  • TNA Knockouts Championship: Victoria Crawford (Alicia Fox) vs Masha Slamovich (c): Masha retains via Requiem – *1/2
  • TNA Tag Team Championship: Bootleg Hardyz (Leon Slater & Matt Hardy vs Kaiba Boys (c): Seto wins via Danger Zone – ** 1/2
  • Joe Hendry & Elijah vs Frankie Kazarian & Trick Williams: Hendry wins via Standing Ovation

 

Results:

Mike Santana vs KC Navarro w/AJ Francis

AJ feigns a ‘turf toe’ injury to randomly call the audible to have KC wrestle Mike. Comedy open, then KC ducks and dodges strikes, rope runs but then gets caught and tossed into a corner. Eats a Hip Attack in the corner and a Back Body Drop for a near fall. Santana mean mugs AJ and then 3 Amigos and a Latino Heat shimmy, only a near fall but it gets a pop.

KC tries to fight back to his feet and then eats a Back Chop and KC looks like he was shot in the chest. AJ was late to the interference as a second, but it at least looked funny. KC hits the 305, drives Santana into the corner, and seats Santana with the Snapmare. KC goes for a either a Satellite move or Blessing in Disguise, Santana stops KC’s momentum and Inside Out Suplex. Santana kips up and rocks KC. KC tries to avoid him, Santana does the following roll and hits the Rolling Buck Fifty. Calls for Spin the Block, but KC hits a Superkick, Pump Kick for Santana, rope runs, Santana tries the Buck Fifty again but KC avoids, strings a lot together, Corner Boot Wash into a Frog Splash for only 2.

KC tries a surprised Blessing, Santana blocks, Body Scissors Victory but Santana rolls with it, KC perches and tries a Cross Body but gets  caught Buckle Bomb into Cannon Ball! 1-2-…oh KC kicked out. My son KC is looking like a million bucks in change. Spin the Block attempt, but KC crumbles to avoid. Santana hits a Jacknife Powerbomb, goes for another but KC flips out of it and eats the Spin the Block.

Santana helped KC up and shakes his hand, AJ attacks him after the fact. KC looks conflicted in helping the beat down. KC is gonna be money, give him the face turn, he’s fantastic. Extend his contract and push him to the damn moon right now.

Eddie Edwards w/Lish vs Cody Deaner

Eddie lands a few chops, hits the ropes and Cody gets the Thesz Press into Ground and Pound but Eddie hits another chop. Mostly Kobashi offense and Lish interfering. Chops, Lariats and Wife. A little jawing from Eddie, he throws Deaner into the ropes, Deaner stops the momentum and Clothesline’s the both to the outside, Deaner tries to fire up with the fans but when he turns he eats the Blue Thunder Bomb on the apron. Eddie wants a count, Deaner beats the count around 8, and Eddie jumps on him.

Deaner fires, no selling Eddie’s onslaught of Chops, Deaner goes to the top, Eddie cuts him off, rocks him, Superplex into the Tiger Driver but only a two count. Eddie starts talking crap to a fan, Cody hits a Dork Right Hand, Shiranui off the steps, rolls Eddie in, goes to the top, Crossbody but only for 2. Deaner calls for DDT, Lish gets on the apron, Eddie pulls out the Planeteer ring, Falcon Punch, but Deaner kicks out.

Eddie is besides himself, Deaner fires, tries to lock in the DDT, Eddie pushes him back to the ropes, Lish with the Uppercut to the Cock, Boston Knee Party and Deaner is gone.

Eddie is my favorite wrestler of 2025. He got rid of a parasite with the worst gimmick ever.

Northern Armoury w/Hammer the Honey Badgers vs Dango, Moose and Brian Myers w/Lish

The system were insulting Canada and making fun of jobless Deaner so Eric Young runs them down, gets big pops from the Canadian crowd and create an impromptu match using a local Mascot as their outside help to deal with Lish.

Dango and Temu Yuta start, moves that don’t matter follow because Sinner & Saint are useless. Thank god when Moose tags in, he demands Eric Young in. I wouldn’t want to dirty my hands with useless jobbers either. Shoulder Tackle spot where they bounce off each other, EY hits a Hip Toss, and Locomotion uninteresting spots from Jabroni duo, the crowd starts singing “Oh Canada” because of course.

God I hate Sinner & Saint…I have no desire to engage with the moves. I would rather watch lemon party…and a “We’ve Got Healthcare” chant starts. Hair Jabroni gets isolated for a while, Myers hits a Flatliner and a Cheap Shot. Myers goes for a Spear, eats a Knee Lift…someone tag in EY so I can care. THANK YOU.

EY cleans house, rocks everyone EY with the Flair Flip into the Corner, walks to the top rope, Moose tries the escalara cut off but EY pushes him off, Polish Hammer, EY goes back to the top, Jabroni Duo tandem Powerbomb Moose, Dive on the others, Macho Elbow connects for 2. Piledriver attempt, but Moose gets out, hits a Lights Out. Hair dork with a splash to break it up, Myers does a thing, Bald Jabroni does the stupidest Back Handspring Shotei I’ve ever seen, Dango disposes of Baldo…EY hits the Spicolli Driver on Moose and stalks him into the corner, Moose pulls EY into the buckle, Lish pulls out Kendra and beats the hell out of the Mascot. Hands Kendra to Moose, local Canadian board members get involved, Moose eats a Piledriver.

This felt…so damn TNA it wasn’t bad I just detest Sinner & Saint. They have no charisma, do nothing interesting or different or well. But a TNA chicanery overbooking classic.

Match by Elegance: TNA Knockouts Tag Titles: Spitfire vs Elegance Clique (c)

Spitfire start fast, set up a table because they’re dressed like the Dudleys, Dani gets the Powerbomb attempt countered. Elegance attack Jody, pull out some Hockey props that got sideways as the Elegances are dressed like Mounties. Things kind of devolve to slow and telegraphed spots, where’s Jisoo when I need someone to say “Not bad, but not good”.

Yeah I couldn’t care enough to follow what’s going on. It was kind of fun, but slow, corny, a Bad Powerbomb from Heather misses the table and instead her head clips the table. Why would you have someone 4 for 9 try to Powerbomb a beautifully thicc girl like Dani. I don’t ask Brad Williams to powerbomb…well…ANYONE. Same same.

Order 4 vs The Rascalz, Indi Hartwell & Raj Singh

Champagne Singh has a rambly promo that sucks. Dude can’t wrestle, he can’t talk…why pick him? He didn’t even get cheap pops.

Tornado start, Rascalz double the hands, then things calm down and Indi starts with Tasha. Indi throws Tasha into the ropes for a Stun Gun that she bounces back from and into a Side Walk Slam. Skyler  tags in, Wentz takes things over, Rascalz hold Skyler’s legs and Signh does the “Wazzup”.

Singh starts beating the hell out of both hands, Tasha dives, Singh catches her, but Ali picks the ankle, Apron Hung DDT as Tasha helps with a Stomp. So they try Locomotion isolation on Singh, he fights off a bit, but Ali tags in and Hotch and Ali hit a beautiful Outside In Rolling Neckbreaker spot. Ali hits the Standing Corkscrew, Singh manages to clock him and the Knockouts tag in. She clears the Hands off the apron, but Ali grabs her hair, dodges her swing, Tasha tries the School Girl for the flash win but Indi kicks out and then hits the Spinebuster. Ali breaks up the pin with a Senton. Signature spam moment, Ali got the best of it, but now we get the Human Centipede Suplex Struggle…but Tasha and Indi fight ontop  of them. Inside of the suplex, they’re the cheerleader style Pyramid base. Indi his the Cutter through the base of teammates. Okay…that was unique, I always liked Indi.

Rascalz hit the Hands with a Hot Fire Flame into a Tornillo from Wentz. The Hands may be out for the rest of the match. Singh vs Ali. Ali tries to use the feet on ropes, Rascalz push off. The faces surround Ali, bit the Hands actually recover, Tasha tries to deal with Indi, and Ali hits a very stiff looking Sliding Dropkick to Indi’s face. 450 on Singh to win the match. He then starts choking Singh with the apron skirt and Tasha gets in his way and he shoves her hard. Ali’s new gimmick is…sexually frustrated mad woman hater? Not sure…it’s interesting at least.

Indi better be fine though. She’s a cutie who can actually work.

Arianna Grace vs Tessa Blanchard

Robert Stone tells Santino that without a manager’s license he can’t be out here. He’s banned from ring side.

Tessa Wrist Locks, Front Facelocks, just making fun of her. The crowd does the “She’s a Racist” chant so Tessa does the Hulk Hogan pose. She’s loving the heat. Arianna has been getting so dominated this looks more like the start of a Pornhub video aside from normal pro wrestling. Tessa is just picking her apart. Tessa misses or Arianna was supposed to move and didn’t so it looked kinda bad.

Grace hits a slap and Tear Drop Suplex to finally start doing things. Rolling Elbows, Cutters and a lot of simple offense as Tessa stays cocky but Arianna keep landing a punch or two, finally hits the Superplex but only for two. Arianna tries another Superplex, but Tessa bites her face, wants Magnum but slips so she adjusts to hitting the Buzzsaw first and redoing the finish.

It was sloppy and uninteresting, but they’re both hot, so I’m not complaining. I’d just like to know if the botches were Tessa’s fault or Arianna being green as fuck.

TNA Knockouts Championship: Victoria Crawford (Alicia Fox) vs Masha Slamovich (c)

They start cat fight style until Masha hits the Drop Toe hold into PK and lariat as Alicia powders, Masha follows and starts arguing with Robert Stone and Alicia hits a beautiful Jumping Side Kick. The her Northern Lights Suplex on the floor. Masha tries to fight out and misses her Sole Butt so Crawford screams at her, slams her down and starts getting annoyed. Forearms into a Vertical Suplex Crawford goes into the pin for only two.

Rope run, Masha fights back again, bad looking Capo kick…great interference by Stone has Masha stumble into Crawford and she hits a gorgeous Package Piledriver. Belt distraction spot but the ref tries to wrestle it away, Masha tries to stop it, Masha clocks the ref, Crawford connects with the belt. Tries about Package Piledriver but Masha blocks and hits the Russian Death Device, but ref is still dead. Masha tries to revive the ref, School Girl kick out, spinning back fist, Requiem… meh.

TNA Tag Team Championship: Bootleg Hardyz (Leon Slater & Matt Hardy vs Kaiba Boys (c)

Matt and Nic start off, Matt gets the early upper hand with this weird Headlock open into the Shoulder Tackle and Headlock Takeover. Matt finally tags out from the most boring opening sequence, but Leon starts doing the same Headlock crap. The last match was boring, this is starting bad and now tornado brawl but the Bootlegs clear the ring. Holy hell this is bad…starting too slow after two bad matches. Nemeths forgot who was level cause this is so boring. Holy crap this is the worst 5 minutes ever. I am slipping into a coma while sharting.

They’ve been isolating Leon long enough for the crowd to chant “We want Matt”, there’s a tease but Matt gets pulled off the apron. Ryan connects on the Implant DDT. Tries another but Leon counters and hits a Back Handspring Elbow. Simultaneous tags, Matt has control, Delete Buckle Smashes. Matt hits Delete Buckle Smashes on Ryan too, then Side Effects for everyone, Twist of…countered. Nic pushes Matt into Ryan and Ryan gets popped. FameASSer gets a 2. Assisted Back Drop/Neckbreaker and Slater makes the save. Throws Mokuba out, Plancha, Matt tries to roll up Nic but he kicks. Nic hits the Twist of Fate for arrogance, only two.

Superkick is caught, Leon flies in with a Leg Lariat, then Plot Twist for only 2! Ryan moves Nic from Poetry In Motion, Matt moves closer, Poetry over the Post. Twist of Fate from Matt, Swanton 450…1-2…Ryan saves the day and smashes Matt’s face into the apron. Leon tries to help, but misses and gets thrown into the Steps, Superkick and Danger Zone onto Matt, Kaiba Boys retain.

Half of that match was unwatchable.

Joe Hendry & Elijah vs Frankie Kazarian & Trick Williams

Kaz and Elijah start, some interesting counter spots with Elijah using the ropes for Short Arm Lariats, a few times, tags in Joe and Trick asks for the tag. Kaz tells everyone to fuck off, doesn’t tag and goes after Joe with a few short punches, but Joe Shoulder Tackles and Hip Toss, tags in Elijah and they do a Simple Double Back Elbow, look for a Double Bomb but Kaz rolls through and tags in Trick when he wants to. Trick and Elijah connect and its mostly Trick talking and then Rope Run spots, and a lot of talking.

Dysfunctional teammate tagging in and out yelling stuff… ugh. Elijah wipes them both out in the most uninteresting ways, and Joe hits his Rock the Baby Flying Senton. And that’s the first time the crowd pops this match. Kaz starts walking away, Trick goes after Kaz, the faces go after both, they deposit the heels into the crowd and start brawling into the crowd. The referee is out there with them and not counting.

At least this brawl has forced the crowd out of their Canadian coma, people in the ring, Elijah Rope Walk, Hendry Stalling Suplex at the time. Elijah walked 3 corners and then they punctuate together. Elijah hits the ropes, Kaz trips him, he eats a Trick Kick and a Flapjack. Trick tags out for Kaz to continue to isolate Elijah, Trick tags back, Elijah tries to fight out but Trick kicks Elijah in the head and then cheap shots Hendry on the apron. Leg Lariat from Trick on Elijah.

Eventual tag out to Hendry, Sack of Shits and Kip Ups. Standing O, Trick says no, so Hendry hits the Olympic Slam for two. Trick counters AA with Bookend, Trick to the top, Crossbody, Joe rolls through, AA. Kaz tags, Backstabber, Sliding Lariat, Slingshot Leg Drop for two. Kaz goes Chicken Wing, Joe says no, AA for Kaz. Elijah tags in, and loses control immediately, Trick tags in and also loses control immediately. Trick tries to fly at him, but Knee Lift from Elijah for a 2. Trick Shot on Elijah, Joe makes the save, Kaz takes him outside and grabs a guitar. Kaz tags in and tries to use the guitar, Highwayman’s Farewell but Trick saves it. Trick wants to use the guitar, distracts ref, Elijah’s roll up doesn’t win. Trick Shot accidentally hits Kaz Standing Ovation and face win.

Is Trick winning at Battleground or will this just be very one sided in matches?

Overall Score: 2/10

Two points for KC Navarro being the best thing going right now.

The rest, botches, botches everywhere and boy oh boy:

The Critic Meme | IT STINKS! | image tagged in memes,the critic | made w/ Imgflip meme maker

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