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Impact Coverage

Ja’Von’s IMPACT Wrestling Live Report (8/2/18)

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Official Results:

Allie & Keira Hogan vs Su Yung & Undead Maid of Honor: Allie & Keira Hogan via pinfall 

The OGz vs Local Talent: The OGz via pinfall 

The Desi Hit Squad vs KM & Fallah Bahh: The Desi Hit Squad via pinfall 

Austin Aries vs Dustin Cameron( IMPACT World Championship): Austin Aries via match stoppage 

Grado & Joe Hendry vs Eli Drake & Trevor Lee: Eli Drake & Trevor Lee via pinfall 

Lucha Brothers vs oVe: The Lucha Brothers via pinfall 

Play by Play:

Cold Opening: 

IMPACT opens with a recap of what went down last week featuring Austin Aries’ open challenge, Johnny IMPACT returning and calling out Jimmy Jacobs and Kongo Kong, and Brian Cage retaining his NEW X-Division Championship against Matt Sydal.

Allie & Keira Hogan vs Su Yung & Undead Maid of Honor:

This Knockouts tag team match kicks us off tonight. IMPACT Knockouts Champion Su Yung and the Undead Maid of Honor makes their way to the ring along with the other undead bridesmaids.

Keira Hogan comes out to the ramp to sait for her tag partner. Allie meets Keira Hogan on the ramp and they make thier way to the ring for the match.

Both Allie and Keira fight their way through the undead bridesmaids to get in the ring. Allie and Keira clear the ring of Su and Undead maid of Honor. Keira then hits a suicide dive on Su and the bridesmaids.

Allie then goes to the top and takes out the bridesmaids as well. Allie then brings Su back in the ring and takes down Yung with a couple of forearms. Hogan os back in the ring but comes face to face with the maid of honor. The maid of honor goes on the attack and hots multiple shoulderblocks in the corner then hitting her face on the turnbuckles followed by taking her down and gets a nearfall. Su and the maid of honor have cut off the ring and the maid of honor tags in Su. Yung stays on the attack keeping momentum and tags in the maid of honor. Hogan then fights back and gets an opening to tag in Allie but the maid of honor cuts her off and drags her back to her corner. Keira still fights and is able to get free and tags in Allie. Allie is fired up and takes down the maid of honor. Su tags in but meets Allie in the middle of the ring. Alloe gets the upperhand and hits the b es st superkick ever and falls into a pin for a nearfall. Allie looks to go for the codebreaker but gets hit from behind by the maid of honor. Keira Hogan comes in and takes out the maid of honor which allows for Su to recover and hit the paincswitch on her. Allie then finally hits the codebreaker for the win.

Winners: Allie & Keira Hogan via pinfall

After the match Tessa Blanchard hits the ringand takes out Allie with the hammerlock DDT.

Back from brsak Tessa says that she sees right through Allie. She continues to say that Allie is thinking that she is doing the right thing to get a shot at the Knockouts Championship. Tessa says there is no way Allie is getting a shot at the Knockouts Championship before her.

The OGz vs Local talent:

The OGz make their way to the ring with King and they are carrying the world tag team titles that they tagged with their moniker at Slammiversary.

The bell rings and Hernandez immediately takes out one of the guys. Homicide picks one guy up while Hernandez has the other guy up for a border toss. Homicide hands the other guy to Hernandez who drops them both. Homicide then hits a backpack piledriver for the win.

Winners: The OGz via pinfall

After the match King has a mic and says that he t ol ld us so. He says they took out Konan and LAX and took the tag titles and made them their own. He then ask where they are and fuels the crowd chanting for LAX. He then says that they are the king of the streets. LAX’s music plays and they run to the ring and jump The OGz with Konan calling the shots. Santana takes out King and Hernandez with tope con hilo.

Ortiz brings Homicide back in the ring and has an axe.

Security comes down to stop him but they get taken out.  Homicide then grabs the ring bell and there is a stalemate as LAX go back up the ramp as we go to break.

Back from break LAX are made at Konan for holding them back. Konan says they are running into rheir trap by coming to them with rage and anger. He says they have to wait for their moment to get revenge and their titles back.

IMPACT announces the dream match between The Young Bucks and LAX on the Chris Jericho Cruise.

oVe Cam:

Sami says that everyone online is saying that Sami is looking like an idiot. But oVe doesn’t care and say that they are going to take out the Lucha Brothers because now this is personal between them.

The Desi Hit Squad vs KM & Fallah Bahh:

Gama Singh introduces The Desi Hit Squad as they make their way to the ring.

KM & Fallah Bahh make their way to the ring for the match. The bell rings and here we go. Fallah Bahh and Gursinder start the match. Rohit comes in the ring and hits Fallah from behind they get the upperhand and try to hit an irish whip on him and Bahh stops them both and sends Gursinder to the corner while Rhoit is sent to the floor. Fallah hits a running splash on Gursinder then hits a back body drop. KM tells Fallah to pull his hair and Fallah does sending Gursinder to the mat. KM tags in and hits a scoop body slam and then tags in Fallah. Fallah signals for a rool but gets hit with a chopblock followed by The Desi Hit Squad hitting tag team maneuvers on Fallah. Gursinder goes for the cover but KM breaks up the pin. Rohit tags in after Gursinder brings Fallah into their corner. Rohit stays on the atrack until Fallah hits a big samoan drop on him. Both guys tag out and KM stays on the attack fighting off both memebers of the Desi Hit Squad. KM stacks them up in the corner and hits a huge splash. KM and Fallah then roll on both of them which sends both of the desi hit squad to separate corners. KM then tells Fallah to poke his eye out just like he does and shows him how to do it. KM then stops Fallah and tries to show him but the desi hit squad fight back for a little bit but KM fights back and teues to hit a slingshot ddt but comes up empty and we a little but of miscommunication the desi hot squad take the advantage and get the pinfall victory.

Winners: The Desi Hit Squad via pinfall 

Anthony Carelli is backstage hyping up Dustin Cameron for his world title match agaisnt Austin Aries. We then see Aries who says that he beat a world class athlete in Eli Drake to win the world title and doesn’t need to prepare for Dustin Cameron.

Back from break we see Johnny IMPACT neing interviewed backstage. Johnny says he wrestles to be the best in the industry and says that all Kongo Kong wants to do is hurt people. Jimmy Jacobs shows up and tells Johnny if he wants to find Kongo then he should take his glasses off and that he is just trying to be a nice guy. Johhny then attacks him and tells him to bring him the monster.

Austin Aries vs Dustin Cameron( IMPACT World Championship):

Dustin Cameron accompanied by Anthony Carelli makes his way to the ring. Austin Aries makes his way to the ring for his title defense in street clothes.

When Aries hands the title to the referee he is pretending to look nervous about losing it. The bell rings and here we go. Aries shakes Dustin’s hand and then takes him dosn with a german suplex and floats over him then paintbrushes him and slaps his back. Collar and elbow tie up Aries gets the advantage with a sideheadlock and picks up the speed by going back and forth. Aries is distracted by jawjacking with Anthony Carelli and gets caught by Dustin who takes him down and goes for the pin for not even a one count. Aries then looks to end the match by hitting a brainbuster and goes for the pin but stops the pin by picking him off the mat. Aries looks to go for a second brainbuster but Carelli throws in the towel to stop the match.

Winner and STILL IMPACT World Champion Austin Aries via match stoppage

Aries then locks inthe last chancery until Anthony Carelli comes in the ring to break it up. Carelli and Aries meet face to face and Anthony hits a lowblow on Aries which sends him running up the ramp only to find Eddie Edwards kendo stick in hand behind him. Eddie then hits him with the kendo stick and looked to hitba DDT but Aries escapes and runs to the back.

Alicia is interviewed backstage and her interview is interrupted by Eddie Edwards and says they are going to fix things betwen them because next week he becomes world champion. Alicia says she can’t deal with him and walks away.

Scarlett Bordeaux is interviewed at ringside but the interviewer is very nervous to speak. Scarlett ask if he is new and ask what’s his name. She asks Bobo if he wanted to ask her a question. She does the interview herself by asking herself questions about being a 10 in a world with threes and fours. She then reminds the crowd that she will not be hot shamed.

Grado, Katerina, and Joe Hendry are mad about Eli’s gift last week because he was cropped out of it. He then challenges him to a tag team match and declares his team winners cause Eli has no friends. Eli then grabss the Cult of Lee and says he has a partner.

Grado & Joe Hendry vs Eli Drake & Trevor Lee:

Grado and Joe Hendry accompanied by Katerina make their way to the ring for the match.

Eli Drake and The Cult of Lee make their way to the ring for the match. The Cult of Lee immediately attack Joe and Grado sending Joe to the floor. Grado is left alone in the ring while Katerina checks on Joe. Eli stays on the attack of Grado sending him into the corner with multiple shoulderblocks and a clothesline. Grado tries to fight back with puches and chops. Both guys go down and they try to tag out but Caleb pulls Joe off the apron which allows for Eli to hit the Gravey Train for the win.

Winners: Eli Drake & Trevor Lee via pinfall 

Lucha Brothers vs oVe:

oVe makes their way to the ring for the match. Lucha Brothers makes their way to the ring for the match.

Fenix jumps off of Pentagon to take out oVe. The lucha brothers slide to the outside then come back in and go under the arms of oVe then back out of the ring again. oVe then hit double suicide dives on the lucha brothers. Jake Christ and Fenix go at it while Dave Christ is attacking Pentagon. Dave and Pentagon come near the announce td able which scare the announcers. Dave then hit Pentagon with a straight right. Jake tries to bring Fenix the ring and sends him face first intonthe post. The lucha brothers fight back and gain control of the match and take down oVe as we go to break. Back from break and the lucha brothers are in control and hits Dave Christ with a big chop. Fenix comes bsck in the ring and hits Dave eith a big chop of his own. More tandem offense from the lucha brothers as they take out both members of oVe. Fenxi goes up to the top to setup the finisher but Sami Callihan gets involved which allows for oVe to take control. Fenix and Jake are alone in the ring and Jake gets control and locks Fenxi in a submission. Down the stretch oVe hit their finisher on Fenix and go for the pin but only get a nearfall. The lucha brothers fightbackand hit their finisher and go for a pin but only a nearfall. In the end Pentagon hits the fear factor for the win.

Winners: The Lucha Brothers via pinfall 

My Score: 7.5/10

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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 11.21.2024

Let’s pretend last week didn’t happen? Okay? So tonight’s iMPACT! has to be better…right?

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So things can’t get much worse than last week unless this ends up a negative score. Hopefully we got the filler episode or the TNA equivalent of A Feast for Crows, out of the way. I’d like at least a high school level attempt at logically telling a story, not bad promos and story beats almost as bad as Final Fantasy XIV: Dawntrail.

The show kicks off with the Knockouts title match featuring Lish. Now while I’m not gonna put Lish over for her ringwork, but her character work is great. So being a NO DQ match, we should get more gimmick and less “work rate”. I will just make it known before the show happens, I am very sick of Tommy Dreamer’s booking (or whoever really has it). Literally none of the stories matter, they aren’t consistent with the storytelling and are squandering the brand equity and good faith returning to TNA has granted them. Lots of potentially decent pieces on this roster, just booking is written by a blind kindergartner who’s just pulling a lever on a See ‘N Say and making that an angle.

Ratings:

  • TNA Knockouts Championship NO DQ Match: Masha Slamovich (c) vs Alisha Edwards: Masha retains via Package Piledriver – ** 1/2
  • ASH by Elegance w/Personal Concierge & Heather vs Jody Threat w/Dani Luna: ASH wins via Rarefied Air – **
  • Rhino vs Frankie Kazarian: Kaz wins via School Boy w/ Feet on ropes – ** 1/4
  • Moose & JDC vs Leon Slater & Laredo Kid: Slater wins via La Magistral – *
  • Savannah Evans vs Brittany Jade: Evans wins via Full Nelson Bomb – SQUASH
  • The Hardy Boyz & Ace Austin vs Birminghammer Daddies (Hammerstone, Jake Something & Trent Seven): Trent wins via Birminghammer – ***

 

Results:

TNA Knockouts Championship NO DQ Match: Masha Slamovich (c) vs Alisha Edwards

Lish starts off during the introductions, hits a big Forearm and starts laying into Masha in the corner. Lish grabs Kendra, takes a swing, but Masha ducks it and gets a little bit of revenge before a trash can lid stalls Masha’s Suicida. Lish throws Masha back in the ring, along with a chair. Throat Chop from Lish, followed up with a DDT onto the chair and Lish gets an early two count. Lish puts the chair in the corner, bounces Masha’s face off of it a few times before trying to set up for a Corner Crossbody, but Masha moves and Lish eats the chair. Masha grabs a trash can, pops the crowd and tries something but Lish puts the brakes on the initial attack before Masha just smashes Lish’s face into the can, sets her up in the corner, looks for a Superplex through the can, but Lish block and gouges the eyes, slips between her legs and the Avalanche Powerbomb onto the can gives Lish another two count!

Kendra comes into play again, a few quick cracks just seems to piss off Masha, she fires, grabs the kendo stick from Lish and beats on her a few times before the Package Piledriver seals the deal and Masha retains!

Tasha Steelz attacks after the pinfall, so Jordynne makes the save for Masha so they can have a moment before their match at Turning Point. 

ASH by Elegance w/Personal Concierge & Heather vs Jody Threat w/Dani Luna

ASH plays the powder to annoy the babyface gimmick, but after the second time Jody steps on ASH’s hand when she tries to quickly break the count and powder again. A few suplexes give Jody the early advantage, but she misses the Spear into the corner and posts herself. Heather uses the moment of distraction to hit Jody with a Neckbreaker and ASH grabs a cheap two count. ASH works Jody over in a corner, distracts the referee again so Heather attacks one more time. The crowd is surprisingly loud for a Jody comeback…but ASH does the ole hair slam into a Headlock.

Jody finally powers up for the comeback, rope spot with the Knees to the back and German Suplex but ASH uses the hair pull to stop Jody from continuing…momentarily. Jody is beating on ASH in the corner, perches ASH, looks for the Superplex but Heather tries to get into the ring to distract the referee, Concierge helps to anchor ASH, so ASH fights off Jody, hits Rarefied Air and wins the match!

Mike Santana comes out for a promo, and about a minute into, the stupid channel switches into Picture in Picture mode. DURING A PROMO. So I have no clue if anything being said is clever, well done or why Frankie Kazarian showed up. Anthem needs to get their act together, this is embarrassing. Apparently we come back in time for the punchline and because they’re both gunning for the World Title Santana challenges Kaz to a Turning Point match because “no nights off”? What kind of moron e-fed story is this? And Tom throws to Picture in Picture as soon as Rhino comes out to kick off the Kaz match…but the commercial break already happened. Sad.

Rhino vs Frankie Kazarian

Lots of stalling from Kaz, since this is supposed to be during PiP, so dumb stuff like powdering, opportunistic throwing Rhino face first into the steps…so on and so forth. Just slow paced dumb stuff until we’re supposed to be “back”, so now Rhino will start…yup Uppercut cuts off Kaz, Lariat, a few Knife Edge Chops into some Short Arm Shoulder Tackles. Kaz powders, tries to grab his Call Your Shot trophy, referee takes it away from him, Kaz runs into the ring and tries to grab his scarf, ref again disarms him but Kaz kicks the middle rope into Rhino for a near fall. Kaz starts laying in some fists and chokes with his shin, cocky cover for 2.

They start just throwing hands, because reasons…Rhino gets the best of it and connects with a few Lariats and a Shoulder Tackle into a Belly to Belly for a two count. The crowd is behind Rhino, a few more Lariats, Gore set up, but Kaz sidesteps it, School Boy with the feet on the ropes for the win.

This vignette is hot garbage in my opinion. Trying to frame PTSD as trust issues in half baked choppy Netflix recap of a Burn Notice knockoff. 

Moose & JDC vs Leon Slater & Laredo Kid

Yeah this match is useless on paper. Laredo is such a filler enhancement talent and even if JDC could eat a pin against say Leon…there’s no way Leon is beating Moose for the X Division title. So aside from a time filler, this match serves no purpose.

JDC starts and eats offense from both Laredo and Leon, as is expected, but I really can’t be dragged into caring about this match. Laredo is joke, Leon is someone they want to hype up but he’s got no discernable personality aside from “British”. Laredo breaks up a pinfall attempt, John Woo Dropkicks JDC into the post after dodging a Spear, Moose catches a Laredo dive and turns it into an Apron Powerbomb, Leon flies over the post to wipe out Moose, locks up JDC in the La Magistral, and its over.

So as I alluded to, it’s technically just a way to set up a challenger for the X Division title, but even if the match is good, Leon shouldn’t beat Moose unless he brings a rifle. 

Hendry is out talking, as per usual, and doing his usual thanking the fans for believing and saying all the babyface things. Is definitely cookie cutter, he’s passionate so he sells the basic words well, but it’s basic shit.

Savannah Evans vs Brittany Jade

Skye Blue from wish is the jobber that Savannah gets to eat. Propels Jade across the ring, corner splashes a few times, throws her into the ropes, Jade goes for a Flying Headscissors but Savannah blocks the momentum and reverses it, Facebuster, Samoan Drop, and now Full Nelson Bomb to kill the jobber. There we go, no one is shocked and it didn’t really do anything for Savannah, it was more just a basic reminder of her power moves. Nothing flashy, so if Lei Ying Lee loses, then she’s dead in the water.

The Hardy Boyz & Ace Austin vs Birminghammer Daddies (Hammerstone, Jake Something & Trent Seven)

The Seven Star Hammer Daddies or Birminghammer Daddies…not sure which I like more. Think I’m leaning towards Birminghammer Daddies.

Hammer and Matt start, Matt has control, Jake tries to make the save but ends up eating the Delete Buckle Face Smashes. Matt tries to Double Coconut Jake and Hammer, but they no sell, beat their chests and drop Matt. Hammer works over Matt a little, tags in Trent and then Matt counters whatever Trent tries and gets Jeff in. Classic Senton/Legdrop Doubles, Jeff’s Low Dropkicks, and just typically classic Hardy stuff. Jeff looks for Twist of Fate, Bop and Bang counters, Trent hits a Flowsion and tags out to Jake. Jeff and Matt do some veteran tactics with a blind tag as Jake tries to chase Jeff. But the referee tells Jake that Jeff isn’t legal just in time for Matt to hit a Chop Block and tandem Hardy offense, Ace gets involved in some of the fun and finally gets tagged in. Ace has Jake in the corner, Hammer tries to break things up but Ace moves and Hammer collides with Jake, Trent gets sent in, Double Poetry on the stacked up heel team, they go for Twists in Triplicate…but the heels shove off and powder.

After the picture in picture, we know the heels had control with basic heel stuff, but Ace clears the apron with a big Double Dropkick, Enzuigiri to Trent to try and lunge, but Jake and Hammer pull the Hardys off the apron. Tandem Powerbomb from the Daddies, Trent hits the Seven Star Lariat, but Ace kicks out at two! Birminghammer attempt is slipped, X Plex attempt but Ace turns it into a Flatliner! Ace tags in Jeff and Trent didn’t look for the tag! Jeff hot tag, wipes out the apron, through the legs Double Leg Drop, Flashing Elbow, but the Daddies come in and we get to the signature spam moves for moves sake moment. Matt counters a tandem Back Body Drop with the Double DDT, Twists in Triplicate are hit, Swanton Bomb is called for but Jake and Hammer put a stop to that.

Ace tries to fly on the big men but they catch him, so Jeff gets up and connects the big splash to assist Ace. Plot Twist on Trent! Swanton Bomb from Jeff, 1-2-but Hammer and Jake pull out Ace. Hardys almost fall victim to the Final Chapter, but slip it and hit Stereo Twists of Fate. Referee is checking on the outside stuff, counters The Fold with a Low Blow, Birminghammer wins the match for the Birminghammer Daddies!

Hardyz try to attack Trent, but the big men stop them, they look to make an example out of the veterans, but Rascalz and Kushida make the save. 

 

Overall Score: 4.5/10

Still not what I would call a “good” episode, but at least there was a semblance of trying to remember stories they had going on, a couple alright promos and vignettes. But between the Picture in Picture mistiming, the Maclin vignette being inane and three matches in the middle that mean literally nothing in the grand scheme of things just makes the show feel both bloated and lacking at the same time. Genesis better be the start of a new booker, because literally everything since Scott left has been kinda stupid. A few obvious connections got made and that was fine, but the reimagining of The System swagger (or lack thereof), Hendry becoming the Tetsuya Naito of TNA and the desolate Knockouts Division really makes this a hard product to get any consistency out of much less tolerate what they hand us.

The main event was at least tolerable, give Trent and Ace something with Speedball leaving and Bey injured, and potentially setting up Hammer Daddies to challenge for the tag titles, I’m not mad at that. If I had a say in things, Hardyz should drop the belts to either Hammer Daddies or First Cla$$.

So this was better than last week, but that’s a low bar, and with next week being a Thanksgiving Special, this was technically the Go Home for Turning Point. So next Friday is hopefully a good show, because that card looks bad.

About Chairshot Radio Network

Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

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Attitude Of Aggression Podcast & The Big Five Project (chronologically exploring WWE's PPV/PLE history)

TheChairshot.com PRESENTS...IMMEDIATE POST WWE PLE REACTIONS w/ DJ(Mindless), Tunney(DWI) & Friends

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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 11.14.2024

The first episode after fresh tapings! How does TNA try to pivot and make a sensible card after the cobbled together last two weeks?

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Well now we’re starting with a new set of tapings, and I don’t think I heard about any crazy injury issues. So let’s see what is supposed to make sense going into Turning Point, because let’s be honest, since Scott left the stories have been inane, the booking has been questionable at best and even though the hype of the TNA name being back is probably driving attendance for major events…let’s not act like this has been “good” in the last 8 months.

Here’s to hoping Genesis kicks off some semblance of logic in the storytelling, because if these shows are mostly bad and only carried by a handful of decent matches or entertaining vignettes every couple of weeks…that ain’t enough.

But hey, I guess we’ll see…right? Why do I have a feeling this week will suck?

Ratings:

  • KC Navarro w/AJ Francis vs Mike Santana: Santana wins via Spin the Block – ** 1/2
  • Alan Angels & Jake Crist vs The Rascalz: Rascalz win via Feed Em to the Lions – *
  • The Northern Armoury (Josh Alexander, Judas Icarus & Travis Williams) vs Eric Young, Steve Maclin & Jonathan Gresham: Josh wins via C4 Spike – **
  • Ryan Nemeth vs Joe Hendry: Hendry wins via Standing Ovation – **
  • Rosemary vs Jada Stone: Rosemary wins via As Above So Below – Squash
  • Nic Nemeth vs Brian Myers: Nic wins via Danger Zone – ** 1/4

 

Results:

KC Navarro w/AJ Francis vs Mike Santana

Navarro is a punching bag early on, he thinks he outsmarts Santana a few times but pays for the arrogance, but it is very entertaining. From not being able to Roll-Up Santana cause Navarro is too small or getting kicked into AJ’s arms like a small child. But finally AJ being out there pays some dividends for Navarro…or not, never mind, one Suicida and then Santana no sells a few chops and ragdolls Navarro. Navarro tries to use some of his speed to catch Santana off guard a few times, but Santana catches him, blocks the Rana, turns it into the Wheelbarrow Overhead Facebuster, transitions into a Sitout Powerbomb for 2, and the Spin the Block puts Navarro away.

No one should be surprised, but KC is a gem, he’s money money…yeah…yea.

Alan Angels & Jake Crist vs The Rascalz

Jake being back is always nice, but Angels is more like an Albatross. Rascalz pull off the ACS Rush as an ode to the MCMG and The ABC combination flurry. So nice feel good babyface stuff. Half Nelson Suplex from Angels on Miguel after some cheating and suddenly Rascalz are on the receiving end. After some slow and arrogant heel offense, we finally see Trey snap off a Suplex and get Wentz in for the hot tag. Simultaneous time, Jake and Wentz are in, and Wentz is beating the hell out of the Golden Draw. Wentz tags Trey, they go for some tandem stuff but Angels rips Wentz out of the ring, Jake pulls off the Marufuji Kick Corner Combination to get space, Trey looks for the Meteora, Angels picks the foot and tags in, combination Kick into Splash from Angels…and…Wentz makes the diving save.

Wentz starts flying around with Trey, stereo corner attacks, assisted Dropkicks, a flurry of offense, FEED EM TO THE LIONS! Wentz dives out on Jake and Trey gets the pinfall.

The right team went over, but I can’t care when Angels is involved.

Spitefire has a terrible and cringe promo, that I refuse to embed. The fact I’m even mentioning it is enough to question my sanity.

The Northern Armoury (Josh Alexander, Judas Icarus & Travis Williams) vs Eric Young, Steve Maclin & Jonathan Gresham

The dorks of the Armoury are getting manhandled by the babyface or tweener team. I don’t know which jabroni is which, and I refuse to learn because they suck. We go to picture in picture once they heels take a few shortcuts and get the upperhand, so nothing of great impact happens. The bald jaborni is in the ring with Maclin when we finally come back, Bell Clap, Backfist but Maclin hits the Busaiku Knee to stop the attacks. Simultaneous tags EY and Josh are in! EY comes out hot, a few right hands, Neckbreaker, Tombstone Piledriver reversal into the Youngblood Neckbreaker for two! EY tries to knock down the jabronis on the apron and Josh takes the chance to hit a few German Suplexes and simultaneous tags again.

Gresham and hair jabroni do a Fighting Spirit spot that Gresham gets the best of for a while, but the standing switches go against Gresham, hair jabroni trips him, PK into a Elbow Drop Variant. Looks for the tag team tandem move with his imbecile buddy, Up in the Clouds gets countered, but numbers game works in the heels favor. The jabronis feed Josh, try to set up the C4 Spike but they get grabbed out of the ring, Gresham counters the C4 with a Double Legged Cradle, Gresham gets a few moves in and goes to the top, jabronis attack Gresham, Sudden Silence nearly wins the match until Maclin bull rushes one into the Pinfall.

Lots of just schmoz spots, eventually EY hits the Spicolli Driver, Caught in the Crosshairs from Maclin on Josh, EY looks for the Macho Elbow but Maclin won’t stop pummeling Josh. EY and Maclin have a moment, but this becomes a comedy of errors with all the babyfaces trying to cover the other’s back and Josh drives Maclin into EY, hits the C4 Spike and I can’t find myself caring enough about this match or about 1/3rd of the participants names.

Ryan Nemeth vs Joe Hendry

Hendry starts off by saying he has a directors cut, and it’s the same, so solid joke. The crowd chants “One More Time” so he plays it again and then Ryan attacks. Ryan gets like 30 seconds of offense and doesn’t really do much, Hendry starts firing a few Uppercuts that seem to rock Ryan more than anything he’s done. Ryan manages to ground Hendry and go for a Sleeper Hold that Hendry of course charges up back to his feet, fights out of, but Ryan drives the Shoulder into Hendry’s gut in the corner and goes back to the Sleeper spot for Hendry to fight back up from, but Ryan pulls the hair to pull him down.

Very basic match so far, Rude Awakening from Ryan as he goes to the top rope…jaws at the crowd who’s chiding him, and Hendry gets up and throws him from the top. Hendry fires a few punches, two Lariats, Sack of Shit into the Kip Up and spin around to start the Standing Ovation stomp…gets him up and down! Hendry wins to no one’s surprise.

Rosemary vs Jada Stone

So we get a Rosemary enhancement match instead of something moving Lei Ying Lee and Savanna Evans’ story further? What are we gonna get a dumb vignette or something instead of actually building up lesser established talent? And yes, I’m just going with stream of consciousness because no one cares about this. Rosemary will win, it’s an enhancement match, Rosemary will play with her food until she decides she’s bored. Spear into As Above So Below, the crowd goes…to get snacks.

Nic Nemeth vs Brian Myers

Nic looks for the Superkick immediately to reference their last WWE match, but Myers powders, Nic gives chase and then Myers cuts him off and lands a few early shots. Two big sternum first Irish Whips, rope choke, and okay Nic slips the Press, connects with a Dropkick and then returns the Irish Whips in kind. Nic smashes Myer’s face into a turnbuckle, turns it into a Head and Leg Cradle for 2. Body Slam from Nic, he sets up for the Superkick but Eddie gets involved to stop it and the ref sees, so kicks him out. Nic is too busy waving and teasing Eddie, Myers tries a Roster Cut from the blind side but Nic ducks it and Myers spills to the outside. Alisha gets in the way to stop Nic’s momentum and Myers rams him into the apron and then throws him into the steps before hitting his Raven pose and we go to picture in picture, so nothing worth talking about will happen. Just plodding offense, rest holds and we’ll probably come back in time for the babyface to make a comeback.

Oh look we come back from PiP, Nic with a cut off comeback, but Manhattan Drop gets countered and Nic connects with a Dropkick to start his comeback. Two Lariats, Shot to the Heart Elbows, tunes up the band…but Myers ducks and cowers so Nic has to adjust. Myers hits a big Gamengiri into an Implant DDT for 2! Myers looks for the Roster Cut, but Nic catches him in a Jumping DDT into the FameASSer for another two count! The referee checks on Myers, Nic looks to tune up the band again and Lish uses Kendra to wack Nic a few times! Spear from Myers! Only a two count. Hendry leaves the announce desk and just picks up Lish and walks out with her kicking and screaming. Myers is distracted, so he eats a Superkick into Danger Zone, aaaannnddd Eddie attacks Nic after the win.

Hendry comes back out with Kendra, beats on Myers and Eddie, nearly hits Nic but stops himself and they have a tense moment. But Hendry made the save with only stares and tension being shared between him and Nic, nothing more. 

The show also goes off the air with a weird vignette of Maclin getting into his vehicle and this weird Country Christian “I Will Rise” somber song playing. They’re really trying to make it seem like he’s chewing on that stuff EY said? Do it in the ring, not through a dumb vignette with an obscure song. 

Overall Score: 0/10

Give me my 2 hours back! I was lenient last two weeks because they were working around injuries that probably affected some bigger stories, but this was a fresh set of tapings and we get this car crash soaked in diarrhea? Shoehorning in attempts at logic and random matches because of dumb reasons, whoever is booking, be it Delirious, Dreamer, NOSAWA, Tua Tagovailoa’s CTE…I don’t know, but fire them, not once, but twice. Send Dahyun or Nayeon to soften the blow and make sure the Twice joke lands, but just fire the booker.

I don’t even have anything positive or reflective to say about this episode. It was bad, whatever it set up for next week is stupid, so many matches that shouldn’t be booked because there’s no tension. Like there’s been plenty of bad episodes and strings of terrible television, but this was offensively stupid and a time waste.

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