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Impact Coverage

Ja’Von’s IMPACT Live Report (8/9/18)

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Official Results:

The Desi Hit Squad vs Taji Ishimori & Petey Williams: Taji Ishimori & Petey Williams via pinfall 

Alisha Edwards vs Tessa Blanchard: Tessa Blanchard via pinfall 

Matt Sydal vs Pentagon Jr: Pentagon Jr. via pinfall 

Austin Aries(c) vs Eddie Edwards( IMPACT World Championship): Austin Aries via pinfall

Play by Play:

IMPACT kicks off with the OGz and LAX brawling backstage.

The brawl goes all over the place and everything is being thrown at each other including hangers. Security finally shows up to stop Hernandez from dropping Santana over the stairwell railing but they get beaten up and the show finally starts.

The Desi Hit Squad vs Taji Ishimori & Petey Williams:

Gama Singh is in the ring and introduces The Desi Hit Squad as they come to the ring for the match. “The Bone Soldier” Taji Ishimori makes his way out to the ring and followed by his partner Petey Williams.

The bell rings and here we go. Gursinder gets the advantage on Taji by hitting him with a kick but Ishimori fights back and makes it yo the apron and takes down Gursinder. Williams tags in and hits a slingshot codebreaker on Gursinder. Rohit comes into the ring to save his partner but gets taken down by Petey. Williams then hits a low dropkick senton maneuver on both guys. Gursinder fights back and gains conteol of the match. Rohit tags in a they irish whip Williams and as he comes off the ropes Gursinder hits a low dropkick on his knee and Rohit stays on the attack. Rohit brings him to his corner and tags in Gursinder. Gursinder wears down Petey in the corner then tags back in Rohit. Rohit brings him to the center of the ring and hits a front face slam on Petey. Rohit then drags him back to his corner but Petey fights back out of the corner and takes out both guys allowing him to tag in Ishimori. Taiji hits a huge missile dropkick on both men. Taji stays on the attack but Rohit is able to fight back and regain control of the match abs sweeps the legs of Taji. Rohit then follows up with a double stomp to the chest. Petey comes in to help Taji and looks to hit the candian destroyer but to no avail. Gursinder would take out Petey and Rohit stays in control but down the stretch Petey is able to hit the Canadian Destroyer and Taji hits a modified DDT for the win.

Winners: Taji Ishimori & Petey Williams via pinfall 

We hear from Pentagon Jr eho says that Matt use to be a chsmpion but no he is not and questions everything including the universe. Pentagon says he is going to take Matt to his universe and the only thing that exist is pain.

Allie and Keira are interviewed backstage and they are talking about how Allie pinned Su Yung to win the tag match last week. The interviewer talks about how Tessa atfacked her after the match. Allie says that all she wants Su Yung she doesn’t care if its a non-title match. Allie promised to take out Su and Keria says that Su can bting all the bridesmaids and Tessa can join the party too. They say that Su’s time is up.

We see a video package showing the transformation of Eddie Edwards into who is today and how we got to this world title match tonight between him and Austin Aries.

Austin Aries is interviewed backstage abkut his world title match tonight against Eddie Edwards.

Austin Aries calls Eddie a carzy man carrying a kendo stick. He says that he has known Eddie for ten plus years. He wishes that he was wrestling the old Eddie tonight even though he is still better he says tonight’s match is going to be unpredictable and dangerous but he is still going to come out on top.

We see Grado, Joe Hendry, and Katerina backstage amd talk about what happened during their tag match last week. Grado asked if they were hugging and that’s why Joe couldn’t make the tag. Katerina says she was protecting Joe. Katerina then asked if he can’t beat Rli on his own cause Joe did. They then make up and leave together.

Alisha Edwards vs Tessa Blanchard:

Alisha Edwards makes her way tk the ring for the match. Tessa then makes her way tk the ring for the match.

The bell rings and here we go. Collar and elbow tie up and Tessa pushes her tk the corner. Alisha fights bsck and lays in the forearms but Tessa fights back and knocks her into the ropes. Tessa then hits Alisha with a gorilla press.

Tssaa stays on the attack but Alisha fights back and hits a couple of forearms and hits the ropes but hits checked by Tessa and hits her with a tilt a whirl backbreaker. Tesa then hits a suplex for a nearfall. Alisha fights bsck and gets a crucfix pin on Tessa for a two count. Tessa is done playing with Alisha and hits her with a couple of forearms to the back and takes her down for a two count. Alisha tries to get away but Tessa stays close to her and hits her with a knee to the gut. Alisha is able to escape and get Tessa’s arm caught on the ropes giving her some space. Alisha stays on the attack and hits a flatliner and both knockouts are down. They both eventually get back up but Alisha stays on the attack into a bulldog for a two count. Alisha still fighting and takes Tessa down for another nearfall. Tessa then fights back and grabs Alisha and hits a slingshot spinrbuster leading into the hammerlock DDT for thr win.

Winner: Tessa Blanchard via pinfall 

Aftet the match Tessa grabs a mic and says she just made an example of Alisha. She says that Allie may have everyone else fooled but not her. She says that the only thing Allie cares about is the knockouts championship. Tessa says if Allie is going after Su and the knockouts championship then she is coming for her.

Matt Sydal was interviewed backstage and ask him about his match tonight. Matt says that he may have lost the belt and the material piece but he still has the spirt of the X-Division Champion. He says he is going to use that to beat Pentagon Jr tonight. He says that he is going to get everyone tuned in and turned on and open our third eyes.

We see KM and Fallah Bahh backstage and they talk about what happend last week. While they were arguing they run into Scarlett Bordeaux who says their looking good. KM and Fallah Bahh are mesmerized by her.

Back from break and we see Scarlett Bordeaux meeting with IMPACT Mangement. She says the girls are mean to her and doesn’t feel safe getting in the ring with her. They give her own show call it the smoke show. They call her one of a kind.

Matt Sydal vs Pentagon Jr:

Matt Sydal makes his way to the ring for his match. Pentagon Jr makes his way to the ring for the match. The bell rings and here we go. They jaw jack for a while and Sydal tells Pentagon to open his third eye. Sydal then takes Pentagon down to the mat and begins to wear him down. Pentagon fights back and takes down Sydal with a huge kick to the chest. Pentagon then attacks the reconstructed knee of Sydal. Matt gets back up and props himself up in the corner but Pentagon stays on the attack attacking all the joints of Matt. Pentagon then kicks Sydal on the side of the head then rolls him up for a nearfall. Sydal then regains control of the match and attacks the leg of Pentagon. Sydal continues to tell him to open up his third eye and that he isn’t afraid of him. Pentagon fights back and hits two slingblades on Sydal.

Matt is able to escape and slide under the ring. Matt comes out on the other side and lures him to the floor and takes him out with a running knee. Sydal stays on the attack and focuses on the legs and knees of Pentagon. Pentagon is still on the ground and Sydal stays on the attsck and tells Pentagon that he is fearless. Pentagon fights back and hits a superkick on Sydal then eats a huge chop. Sydal fights back and hits a running knee on Pentagon off the apron with his reconstructed knee as we go to break.

Back from break Sydal is in control and goes to the top but gets caught by Pentagon. Sydal fights back and nails Pentagon with a spinning heel kick for a two count. Sydal sets Pentagon innthe corner and looks for the mount by Pentagon slides out and knocks him down and takes him out for a two count. Pentagon then looksto try and break Matt’s arm but Sydal escapes snd takes fown Pentagon for a two count. Sydal grabs and picks up Pentagon but he counters and hits a big chop and they trade and few chops before Sydal catches him with a knee then Pentagon regroups and hits the Pentagon Driver for a two count.

Sydal is in control and forces Pentagon into the corner snd hits a big splash to the back. Sydal then looks to hit the shooting star press but Pentagon gets the knees up and rolls him up for the nearfall. Pentagon then hits the fear factor for the pinfall victory.

Winner: Pentagon Jr. via pinfall

After the match on the titantron we see oVe and Sami is sicknof losing and says there will be some consequences. He says he looks like and idiot and people are talking about him online. Sami says one of them has to get their head shave. They both refuse but Sami choses Dave and makes Jake save his head. Sami says they are looking more like a family.

LAX Promo Segment:

Back from break and LAX and Konan make their way to the ring. Konan talks about how they beat the OGz at Slammiversary in a 5150 street fight a match they are undefeated in. The OGz appear and King says they don’t tell them watch to do. Konan calls him names but King says all they do is tell jokes while they have their titles. King admits that it was a setup. King wants this to be taken to the concerte jungle and ask if Konan is scared. Konan says that he made them who they are and says that their is only one group that runs the streets and that’s LAX.

We see Eddie Edwards backstage with his kendo stick and says it’s time to play.

Next Week:

Austin Aries(c) vs Eddie Edwards( IMPACT World Championship): 

Eddie Edwards makes his way to the ring to challenge for the world championship. Austin Aries makes his way to the ring to defend his world title against Eddie Edwards.

The bell rings and here we go. Collar and elbow tie up and A u.k stin Aries gets the advantage for a bit with a sideheadlock and Aries stands tall showboating. Back and forth with go and Aries gets caught with an overhead belly to belly suplex. Eddie then lays on the canvas making snow angles.

Eddie then chases him looking to shake his hand. As we go to break we see Aries trying to getback in the ring but Eddie walks up to him still trying to shake his hand. Back from break and Eddie Edwards is still holding the ring with Aries on the outside. They finally lock up again but Aries gains vontrol and boxs the ears of Rddie then looks to go for a suicide dive but gets caufht by a foream frkm Eddie. Eddie is in control and attacks Aries with multiple chops. Eddie rolls back in the ring to break the count. Aries begins to stumble away but Eddie follows him back in the ring. Aries looks for a brain buster but Eddie counters intona front face slam. Aries fights back and sends Eddie to the floor and finally hits the suicide dive. Aries brings Eddie back in the ring for a two count. Aries then floats over and takes down Eddie again for a two count. Aries then hits a huge chop on Eddie but Eddie enjoys it and ask for more. Aries looks to hit another chop but gets caught and Eddie hits him with a blue thunder bomb.

Back and forth we go and Eddie gets the advantage and hits Aries with a tiger driver for a two count. Aries fights back and locks in the last chancery but Eddie bites his fingers to escape the hold. Aries is mad now and looks to hit Eddie with the belt but the referee stops him which allows Eddie to hit a lowblow on Aries and roll him up for a two count. Things break down as Eddie accidentally hits the referee with a spin kick. Eddie then takes out Aries with a DDT and goes for the pin but the ref is still down. Eddie grabs the kendo stick and hits the referee. Aries then looks for the brain buster again but Eddie counters and hits him with the kendo stick. Eddie then begins to choke out Aries in the corner. Killer Kross comes out and hits doomsday on Eddie then Aries hits the brain buster on Eddie for the pinfall victory.

Killer Kross lays the calling card on Eddie. Aries and Killer Kross stand tall to close the show.

Winner and STILL IMPACT World Champion Austin Aries via pinfall 

My Score: 8/10

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Coverage

Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 11.21.2024

Let’s pretend last week didn’t happen? Okay? So tonight’s iMPACT! has to be better…right?

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So things can’t get much worse than last week unless this ends up a negative score. Hopefully we got the filler episode or the TNA equivalent of A Feast for Crows, out of the way. I’d like at least a high school level attempt at logically telling a story, not bad promos and story beats almost as bad as Final Fantasy XIV: Dawntrail.

The show kicks off with the Knockouts title match featuring Lish. Now while I’m not gonna put Lish over for her ringwork, but her character work is great. So being a NO DQ match, we should get more gimmick and less “work rate”. I will just make it known before the show happens, I am very sick of Tommy Dreamer’s booking (or whoever really has it). Literally none of the stories matter, they aren’t consistent with the storytelling and are squandering the brand equity and good faith returning to TNA has granted them. Lots of potentially decent pieces on this roster, just booking is written by a blind kindergartner who’s just pulling a lever on a See ‘N Say and making that an angle.

Ratings:

  • TNA Knockouts Championship NO DQ Match: Masha Slamovich (c) vs Alisha Edwards: Masha retains via Package Piledriver – ** 1/2
  • ASH by Elegance w/Personal Concierge & Heather vs Jody Threat w/Dani Luna: ASH wins via Rarefied Air – **
  • Rhino vs Frankie Kazarian: Kaz wins via School Boy w/ Feet on ropes – ** 1/4
  • Moose & JDC vs Leon Slater & Laredo Kid: Slater wins via La Magistral – *
  • Savannah Evans vs Brittany Jade: Evans wins via Full Nelson Bomb – SQUASH
  • The Hardy Boyz & Ace Austin vs Birminghammer Daddies (Hammerstone, Jake Something & Trent Seven): Trent wins via Birminghammer – ***

 

Results:

TNA Knockouts Championship NO DQ Match: Masha Slamovich (c) vs Alisha Edwards

Lish starts off during the introductions, hits a big Forearm and starts laying into Masha in the corner. Lish grabs Kendra, takes a swing, but Masha ducks it and gets a little bit of revenge before a trash can lid stalls Masha’s Suicida. Lish throws Masha back in the ring, along with a chair. Throat Chop from Lish, followed up with a DDT onto the chair and Lish gets an early two count. Lish puts the chair in the corner, bounces Masha’s face off of it a few times before trying to set up for a Corner Crossbody, but Masha moves and Lish eats the chair. Masha grabs a trash can, pops the crowd and tries something but Lish puts the brakes on the initial attack before Masha just smashes Lish’s face into the can, sets her up in the corner, looks for a Superplex through the can, but Lish block and gouges the eyes, slips between her legs and the Avalanche Powerbomb onto the can gives Lish another two count!

Kendra comes into play again, a few quick cracks just seems to piss off Masha, she fires, grabs the kendo stick from Lish and beats on her a few times before the Package Piledriver seals the deal and Masha retains!

Tasha Steelz attacks after the pinfall, so Jordynne makes the save for Masha so they can have a moment before their match at Turning Point. 

ASH by Elegance w/Personal Concierge & Heather vs Jody Threat w/Dani Luna

ASH plays the powder to annoy the babyface gimmick, but after the second time Jody steps on ASH’s hand when she tries to quickly break the count and powder again. A few suplexes give Jody the early advantage, but she misses the Spear into the corner and posts herself. Heather uses the moment of distraction to hit Jody with a Neckbreaker and ASH grabs a cheap two count. ASH works Jody over in a corner, distracts the referee again so Heather attacks one more time. The crowd is surprisingly loud for a Jody comeback…but ASH does the ole hair slam into a Headlock.

Jody finally powers up for the comeback, rope spot with the Knees to the back and German Suplex but ASH uses the hair pull to stop Jody from continuing…momentarily. Jody is beating on ASH in the corner, perches ASH, looks for the Superplex but Heather tries to get into the ring to distract the referee, Concierge helps to anchor ASH, so ASH fights off Jody, hits Rarefied Air and wins the match!

Mike Santana comes out for a promo, and about a minute into, the stupid channel switches into Picture in Picture mode. DURING A PROMO. So I have no clue if anything being said is clever, well done or why Frankie Kazarian showed up. Anthem needs to get their act together, this is embarrassing. Apparently we come back in time for the punchline and because they’re both gunning for the World Title Santana challenges Kaz to a Turning Point match because “no nights off”? What kind of moron e-fed story is this? And Tom throws to Picture in Picture as soon as Rhino comes out to kick off the Kaz match…but the commercial break already happened. Sad.

Rhino vs Frankie Kazarian

Lots of stalling from Kaz, since this is supposed to be during PiP, so dumb stuff like powdering, opportunistic throwing Rhino face first into the steps…so on and so forth. Just slow paced dumb stuff until we’re supposed to be “back”, so now Rhino will start…yup Uppercut cuts off Kaz, Lariat, a few Knife Edge Chops into some Short Arm Shoulder Tackles. Kaz powders, tries to grab his Call Your Shot trophy, referee takes it away from him, Kaz runs into the ring and tries to grab his scarf, ref again disarms him but Kaz kicks the middle rope into Rhino for a near fall. Kaz starts laying in some fists and chokes with his shin, cocky cover for 2.

They start just throwing hands, because reasons…Rhino gets the best of it and connects with a few Lariats and a Shoulder Tackle into a Belly to Belly for a two count. The crowd is behind Rhino, a few more Lariats, Gore set up, but Kaz sidesteps it, School Boy with the feet on the ropes for the win.

This vignette is hot garbage in my opinion. Trying to frame PTSD as trust issues in half baked choppy Netflix recap of a Burn Notice knockoff. 

Moose & JDC vs Leon Slater & Laredo Kid

Yeah this match is useless on paper. Laredo is such a filler enhancement talent and even if JDC could eat a pin against say Leon…there’s no way Leon is beating Moose for the X Division title. So aside from a time filler, this match serves no purpose.

JDC starts and eats offense from both Laredo and Leon, as is expected, but I really can’t be dragged into caring about this match. Laredo is joke, Leon is someone they want to hype up but he’s got no discernable personality aside from “British”. Laredo breaks up a pinfall attempt, John Woo Dropkicks JDC into the post after dodging a Spear, Moose catches a Laredo dive and turns it into an Apron Powerbomb, Leon flies over the post to wipe out Moose, locks up JDC in the La Magistral, and its over.

So as I alluded to, it’s technically just a way to set up a challenger for the X Division title, but even if the match is good, Leon shouldn’t beat Moose unless he brings a rifle. 

Hendry is out talking, as per usual, and doing his usual thanking the fans for believing and saying all the babyface things. Is definitely cookie cutter, he’s passionate so he sells the basic words well, but it’s basic shit.

Savannah Evans vs Brittany Jade

Skye Blue from wish is the jobber that Savannah gets to eat. Propels Jade across the ring, corner splashes a few times, throws her into the ropes, Jade goes for a Flying Headscissors but Savannah blocks the momentum and reverses it, Facebuster, Samoan Drop, and now Full Nelson Bomb to kill the jobber. There we go, no one is shocked and it didn’t really do anything for Savannah, it was more just a basic reminder of her power moves. Nothing flashy, so if Lei Ying Lee loses, then she’s dead in the water.

The Hardy Boyz & Ace Austin vs Birminghammer Daddies (Hammerstone, Jake Something & Trent Seven)

The Seven Star Hammer Daddies or Birminghammer Daddies…not sure which I like more. Think I’m leaning towards Birminghammer Daddies.

Hammer and Matt start, Matt has control, Jake tries to make the save but ends up eating the Delete Buckle Face Smashes. Matt tries to Double Coconut Jake and Hammer, but they no sell, beat their chests and drop Matt. Hammer works over Matt a little, tags in Trent and then Matt counters whatever Trent tries and gets Jeff in. Classic Senton/Legdrop Doubles, Jeff’s Low Dropkicks, and just typically classic Hardy stuff. Jeff looks for Twist of Fate, Bop and Bang counters, Trent hits a Flowsion and tags out to Jake. Jeff and Matt do some veteran tactics with a blind tag as Jake tries to chase Jeff. But the referee tells Jake that Jeff isn’t legal just in time for Matt to hit a Chop Block and tandem Hardy offense, Ace gets involved in some of the fun and finally gets tagged in. Ace has Jake in the corner, Hammer tries to break things up but Ace moves and Hammer collides with Jake, Trent gets sent in, Double Poetry on the stacked up heel team, they go for Twists in Triplicate…but the heels shove off and powder.

After the picture in picture, we know the heels had control with basic heel stuff, but Ace clears the apron with a big Double Dropkick, Enzuigiri to Trent to try and lunge, but Jake and Hammer pull the Hardys off the apron. Tandem Powerbomb from the Daddies, Trent hits the Seven Star Lariat, but Ace kicks out at two! Birminghammer attempt is slipped, X Plex attempt but Ace turns it into a Flatliner! Ace tags in Jeff and Trent didn’t look for the tag! Jeff hot tag, wipes out the apron, through the legs Double Leg Drop, Flashing Elbow, but the Daddies come in and we get to the signature spam moves for moves sake moment. Matt counters a tandem Back Body Drop with the Double DDT, Twists in Triplicate are hit, Swanton Bomb is called for but Jake and Hammer put a stop to that.

Ace tries to fly on the big men but they catch him, so Jeff gets up and connects the big splash to assist Ace. Plot Twist on Trent! Swanton Bomb from Jeff, 1-2-but Hammer and Jake pull out Ace. Hardys almost fall victim to the Final Chapter, but slip it and hit Stereo Twists of Fate. Referee is checking on the outside stuff, counters The Fold with a Low Blow, Birminghammer wins the match for the Birminghammer Daddies!

Hardyz try to attack Trent, but the big men stop them, they look to make an example out of the veterans, but Rascalz and Kushida make the save. 

 

Overall Score: 4.5/10

Still not what I would call a “good” episode, but at least there was a semblance of trying to remember stories they had going on, a couple alright promos and vignettes. But between the Picture in Picture mistiming, the Maclin vignette being inane and three matches in the middle that mean literally nothing in the grand scheme of things just makes the show feel both bloated and lacking at the same time. Genesis better be the start of a new booker, because literally everything since Scott left has been kinda stupid. A few obvious connections got made and that was fine, but the reimagining of The System swagger (or lack thereof), Hendry becoming the Tetsuya Naito of TNA and the desolate Knockouts Division really makes this a hard product to get any consistency out of much less tolerate what they hand us.

The main event was at least tolerable, give Trent and Ace something with Speedball leaving and Bey injured, and potentially setting up Hammer Daddies to challenge for the tag titles, I’m not mad at that. If I had a say in things, Hardyz should drop the belts to either Hammer Daddies or First Cla$$.

So this was better than last week, but that’s a low bar, and with next week being a Thanksgiving Special, this was technically the Go Home for Turning Point. So next Friday is hopefully a good show, because that card looks bad.

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Launched in 2017, the Chairshot Radio Network presents you with the best in sports, entertainment, and sports entertainment. Wrestling and wrestling crossover podcasts + the most interesting content + the most engaging hosts = the most entertaining podcasts you’ll find!

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Andrew’s TNA iMPACT! Results & Match Ratings: 11.14.2024

The first episode after fresh tapings! How does TNA try to pivot and make a sensible card after the cobbled together last two weeks?

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Well now we’re starting with a new set of tapings, and I don’t think I heard about any crazy injury issues. So let’s see what is supposed to make sense going into Turning Point, because let’s be honest, since Scott left the stories have been inane, the booking has been questionable at best and even though the hype of the TNA name being back is probably driving attendance for major events…let’s not act like this has been “good” in the last 8 months.

Here’s to hoping Genesis kicks off some semblance of logic in the storytelling, because if these shows are mostly bad and only carried by a handful of decent matches or entertaining vignettes every couple of weeks…that ain’t enough.

But hey, I guess we’ll see…right? Why do I have a feeling this week will suck?

Ratings:

  • KC Navarro w/AJ Francis vs Mike Santana: Santana wins via Spin the Block – ** 1/2
  • Alan Angels & Jake Crist vs The Rascalz: Rascalz win via Feed Em to the Lions – *
  • The Northern Armoury (Josh Alexander, Judas Icarus & Travis Williams) vs Eric Young, Steve Maclin & Jonathan Gresham: Josh wins via C4 Spike – **
  • Ryan Nemeth vs Joe Hendry: Hendry wins via Standing Ovation – **
  • Rosemary vs Jada Stone: Rosemary wins via As Above So Below – Squash
  • Nic Nemeth vs Brian Myers: Nic wins via Danger Zone – ** 1/4

 

Results:

KC Navarro w/AJ Francis vs Mike Santana

Navarro is a punching bag early on, he thinks he outsmarts Santana a few times but pays for the arrogance, but it is very entertaining. From not being able to Roll-Up Santana cause Navarro is too small or getting kicked into AJ’s arms like a small child. But finally AJ being out there pays some dividends for Navarro…or not, never mind, one Suicida and then Santana no sells a few chops and ragdolls Navarro. Navarro tries to use some of his speed to catch Santana off guard a few times, but Santana catches him, blocks the Rana, turns it into the Wheelbarrow Overhead Facebuster, transitions into a Sitout Powerbomb for 2, and the Spin the Block puts Navarro away.

No one should be surprised, but KC is a gem, he’s money money…yeah…yea.

Alan Angels & Jake Crist vs The Rascalz

Jake being back is always nice, but Angels is more like an Albatross. Rascalz pull off the ACS Rush as an ode to the MCMG and The ABC combination flurry. So nice feel good babyface stuff. Half Nelson Suplex from Angels on Miguel after some cheating and suddenly Rascalz are on the receiving end. After some slow and arrogant heel offense, we finally see Trey snap off a Suplex and get Wentz in for the hot tag. Simultaneous time, Jake and Wentz are in, and Wentz is beating the hell out of the Golden Draw. Wentz tags Trey, they go for some tandem stuff but Angels rips Wentz out of the ring, Jake pulls off the Marufuji Kick Corner Combination to get space, Trey looks for the Meteora, Angels picks the foot and tags in, combination Kick into Splash from Angels…and…Wentz makes the diving save.

Wentz starts flying around with Trey, stereo corner attacks, assisted Dropkicks, a flurry of offense, FEED EM TO THE LIONS! Wentz dives out on Jake and Trey gets the pinfall.

The right team went over, but I can’t care when Angels is involved.

Spitefire has a terrible and cringe promo, that I refuse to embed. The fact I’m even mentioning it is enough to question my sanity.

The Northern Armoury (Josh Alexander, Judas Icarus & Travis Williams) vs Eric Young, Steve Maclin & Jonathan Gresham

The dorks of the Armoury are getting manhandled by the babyface or tweener team. I don’t know which jabroni is which, and I refuse to learn because they suck. We go to picture in picture once they heels take a few shortcuts and get the upperhand, so nothing of great impact happens. The bald jaborni is in the ring with Maclin when we finally come back, Bell Clap, Backfist but Maclin hits the Busaiku Knee to stop the attacks. Simultaneous tags EY and Josh are in! EY comes out hot, a few right hands, Neckbreaker, Tombstone Piledriver reversal into the Youngblood Neckbreaker for two! EY tries to knock down the jabronis on the apron and Josh takes the chance to hit a few German Suplexes and simultaneous tags again.

Gresham and hair jabroni do a Fighting Spirit spot that Gresham gets the best of for a while, but the standing switches go against Gresham, hair jabroni trips him, PK into a Elbow Drop Variant. Looks for the tag team tandem move with his imbecile buddy, Up in the Clouds gets countered, but numbers game works in the heels favor. The jabronis feed Josh, try to set up the C4 Spike but they get grabbed out of the ring, Gresham counters the C4 with a Double Legged Cradle, Gresham gets a few moves in and goes to the top, jabronis attack Gresham, Sudden Silence nearly wins the match until Maclin bull rushes one into the Pinfall.

Lots of just schmoz spots, eventually EY hits the Spicolli Driver, Caught in the Crosshairs from Maclin on Josh, EY looks for the Macho Elbow but Maclin won’t stop pummeling Josh. EY and Maclin have a moment, but this becomes a comedy of errors with all the babyfaces trying to cover the other’s back and Josh drives Maclin into EY, hits the C4 Spike and I can’t find myself caring enough about this match or about 1/3rd of the participants names.

Ryan Nemeth vs Joe Hendry

Hendry starts off by saying he has a directors cut, and it’s the same, so solid joke. The crowd chants “One More Time” so he plays it again and then Ryan attacks. Ryan gets like 30 seconds of offense and doesn’t really do much, Hendry starts firing a few Uppercuts that seem to rock Ryan more than anything he’s done. Ryan manages to ground Hendry and go for a Sleeper Hold that Hendry of course charges up back to his feet, fights out of, but Ryan drives the Shoulder into Hendry’s gut in the corner and goes back to the Sleeper spot for Hendry to fight back up from, but Ryan pulls the hair to pull him down.

Very basic match so far, Rude Awakening from Ryan as he goes to the top rope…jaws at the crowd who’s chiding him, and Hendry gets up and throws him from the top. Hendry fires a few punches, two Lariats, Sack of Shit into the Kip Up and spin around to start the Standing Ovation stomp…gets him up and down! Hendry wins to no one’s surprise.

Rosemary vs Jada Stone

So we get a Rosemary enhancement match instead of something moving Lei Ying Lee and Savanna Evans’ story further? What are we gonna get a dumb vignette or something instead of actually building up lesser established talent? And yes, I’m just going with stream of consciousness because no one cares about this. Rosemary will win, it’s an enhancement match, Rosemary will play with her food until she decides she’s bored. Spear into As Above So Below, the crowd goes…to get snacks.

Nic Nemeth vs Brian Myers

Nic looks for the Superkick immediately to reference their last WWE match, but Myers powders, Nic gives chase and then Myers cuts him off and lands a few early shots. Two big sternum first Irish Whips, rope choke, and okay Nic slips the Press, connects with a Dropkick and then returns the Irish Whips in kind. Nic smashes Myer’s face into a turnbuckle, turns it into a Head and Leg Cradle for 2. Body Slam from Nic, he sets up for the Superkick but Eddie gets involved to stop it and the ref sees, so kicks him out. Nic is too busy waving and teasing Eddie, Myers tries a Roster Cut from the blind side but Nic ducks it and Myers spills to the outside. Alisha gets in the way to stop Nic’s momentum and Myers rams him into the apron and then throws him into the steps before hitting his Raven pose and we go to picture in picture, so nothing worth talking about will happen. Just plodding offense, rest holds and we’ll probably come back in time for the babyface to make a comeback.

Oh look we come back from PiP, Nic with a cut off comeback, but Manhattan Drop gets countered and Nic connects with a Dropkick to start his comeback. Two Lariats, Shot to the Heart Elbows, tunes up the band…but Myers ducks and cowers so Nic has to adjust. Myers hits a big Gamengiri into an Implant DDT for 2! Myers looks for the Roster Cut, but Nic catches him in a Jumping DDT into the FameASSer for another two count! The referee checks on Myers, Nic looks to tune up the band again and Lish uses Kendra to wack Nic a few times! Spear from Myers! Only a two count. Hendry leaves the announce desk and just picks up Lish and walks out with her kicking and screaming. Myers is distracted, so he eats a Superkick into Danger Zone, aaaannnddd Eddie attacks Nic after the win.

Hendry comes back out with Kendra, beats on Myers and Eddie, nearly hits Nic but stops himself and they have a tense moment. But Hendry made the save with only stares and tension being shared between him and Nic, nothing more. 

The show also goes off the air with a weird vignette of Maclin getting into his vehicle and this weird Country Christian “I Will Rise” somber song playing. They’re really trying to make it seem like he’s chewing on that stuff EY said? Do it in the ring, not through a dumb vignette with an obscure song. 

Overall Score: 0/10

Give me my 2 hours back! I was lenient last two weeks because they were working around injuries that probably affected some bigger stories, but this was a fresh set of tapings and we get this car crash soaked in diarrhea? Shoehorning in attempts at logic and random matches because of dumb reasons, whoever is booking, be it Delirious, Dreamer, NOSAWA, Tua Tagovailoa’s CTE…I don’t know, but fire them, not once, but twice. Send Dahyun or Nayeon to soften the blow and make sure the Twice joke lands, but just fire the booker.

I don’t even have anything positive or reflective to say about this episode. It was bad, whatever it set up for next week is stupid, so many matches that shouldn’t be booked because there’s no tension. Like there’s been plenty of bad episodes and strings of terrible television, but this was offensively stupid and a time waste.

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